What are the six best things to find in a Kobold's pocket?

[mgshamster]

This thread has been inspired by Max Wilson. Ok, so a little less inspiration and a little more outright plagiarism.

With that out of the way, what do you think are the six best things to find in a Kobold's pocket?

[georgie_leech]

Best for the players? For the DM trying to mess with the players? For the mysterious evil using the kobold as a minion? For the kobold to MacGyver a trap to thwart the PC's? It's a rather open ended question. I don't suppose you could link the post in question for some context?

[mgshamster]

Sure! Here you go! (http://www.giantitp.com/forums/showsinglepost.php?p=20549416&postcount=24)

It won't help much. The idea is that we don't have enough threads for GMs to have fun, and of the list he gave, this one seemed like the most fun.

[lebefrei]

I'll go on their fluff evidence. They worship evil dragons. They also gather "treasures and trinkets" for their own "tiny hoard". With that combination, I think we have some pretty clear options.

Discarded pieces of dragon scales seem likely. Or tooth and claw tips. If these dragons are their gods, they'd want something to feel close.

Any memento that an adventurer carries too worthless for a dragon to take. Cheap portrait necklaces, a scrap of cloth or hair, other low value jewelry. Unlike a dragon, a kobold probably can't just leave their hoard lying around or other kobolds may scrounge through it.

Finally, I think the truly brave or rebellious kobold is likely to have a small magic item stolen from the dragon. They hear it say " I know every item in my hoard" and so this rebel tests that. Each day, she moves an eye catching ring one more inch. After a month, when the dragon hasn't noticed it moving, she snatches it up.

And that is why a kobold has a human finger bone, a rusty portrait locket of two human children, a thieves guild cipher, a bright red dragon scale, the component pouch of a wizard, and a ring of regeneration in its pockets.

[krugaan]

And that is why a kobold has a human finger bone, a rusty portrait locket of two human children, a thieves guild cipher, a bright red dragon scale, the component pouch of a wizard, and a ring of regeneration in its pockets.

How about 5 kobold finger bones (all the same finger) and a ring of regeneration?

[mgshamster]

How about 5 kobold finger bones (all the same finger) and a ring of regeneration?

I laughed at this way harder than I should have.

[krugaan]

I laughed at this way harder than I should have.

"Why is Gnork chewing on finger?"

"Gnork hungry, go away dog lover."

Gnork later became chief of his village. He intimidated all his rivals by using his fingers and blood as warpaint, unlike all his rivals who used more traditional methods of cosmetic enhancement.

Unfortunately, "Utili-Finger" Gnork met his end when a group of bloodthirsty adventurers failed to find his severed digit assault very threatening.

[MaxWilson]

This thread has been inspired by Max Wilson. Ok, so a little less inspiration and a little more outright plagiarism.

With that out of the way, what do you think are the six best things to find in a Kobold's pocket?

My random table (made up on the spur of the moment; may get used in tonight's session for orc pockets):

Roll 2d6:
2. Live CR 0 snapping turtle "familiar" (attacks anyone but the kobold)
3. Human femur whittled into a kazoo
4. 3d6 copper pieces
5. Chicken head, half-eaten
6. Wooden locket carved to look like smiling, middle-aged female kobold
7. Rusty knife
8. Tinderbox and wood shavings
9. Sketchpad and charcoal
10. Small hand mirror; looking more closely, you see that the kobold is wearing lipstick
11. Miniature giant space hamster
12. Map to buried "treasure" (75% fake, 20% already stolen and spent by someone else, 5% real with dangerous guardian)

[krugaan]

My random table (made up on the spur of the moment; may get used in tonight's session for orc pockets):


I like these flavor things, they're totally awesome, but doesn't it take up a ton of time making lists like these?


10. Small hand mirror; looking more closely, you see that the kobold is wearing lipstick


Looks like someone was wearing their...

:smallamused:

.. "whore" paint.

:smallcool:

[AvatarVecna]

A deck of worn-but-tough tarot cards in a small box.

[Belac93]

6. Wooden locket carved to look like smiling, middle-aged female kobold

That is... slightly sad.

[RickAllison]

Without reading so I am not influenced and in no particular order:

1) Personal letter detailing how the dead kobold was just about to quit his life of evil, rat out his allies' secrets, and settle down to live a moral life.
2) Cube of jelly that doesn't come apart...
3) An egg that occasionally twitches.
4) Last will and testament detailing where his caches are for his relatives.
5) Gnomish handheld artillery
6) Horn of Valhalla... That is cursed to actually summon an army of kobolds >:)

[MaxWilson]

I like these flavor things, they're totally awesome, but doesn't it take up a ton of time making lists like these?

Making up a random table of "stuff in kobold pockets" is a better use of time for me than (1) charop (because I rarely get to play) or (2) making up stuff in a specific kobold's pockets, which the players are probably not going to think to search anyway. The same logic applies when creating random tables for stuff in a podunk village somewhere--you don't want to waste time creating a specific podunk village and then be tempted to force your players to interact with it just because it's there now, so you just create your tables and now you're ready for any and every podunk village.

Random tables scale pretty well, as long as you have a way to locate them when needed.

[Sigreid]

A well worn copy of Play Kobold Magazine.

[eastmabl]

Tucker's Primer on Traps.

[TripleD]

A torn poster showing a kobold getting sand kicked on her by adventurers.

"Tired of being kicked around? To learn Pun Pun's amazing technique, simply-"

The rest of the poster is missing

[Tanarii]

9. Sketchpad and charcoalGrabs my attention immediately, because I sketch. As a player in your game, I'd want to know: what had it been sketching?

I'd also feel a momentary pang of guilt, and say a few words over the grave of Sketchy, the Kobold with an artists soul, cut down before the world could know his genius. (We were going to bury him, right guys? Guys ...?)

[JakOfAllTirades]

String, or nothing!

[Talamare]

Candle, that if/when taken revives the Kobold as a CR5 monster until the Candle is returned

[lebefrei]

what had it been sketching?

A lounging, upper class female kobold that he had a brief few days of passion with, both knowing it could never truly be. In this sketch she wears nothing but a jeweled amulet.

When the adventurers came for them he told her to run, he'd hold them back. He did, until the very last beat of his loving, heroic little heart.

Unfortunately, these crafty adventurers are hungry for loot, and they found the sketch. "We must have that amulet!" they declare. The druid makes a survival roll to track her. The hunt is on.

[Regitnui]

The first six things that come to mind;

1. A 'kobold's guide to adventurers', with the best traps for each type
2. A fragment of shell or horn with a half-finished design etched in.
3. A strange bamboo-like stick with globs of unidentifiable, half-dried liquid on the interior
4. A crucifix-shaped icon of a dragon in flight.
5. A single clear gem painstakingly ground down to act as a lens.
6. A still living, white beetle with paint on its back that starts chirruping unceasingly until it can no longer see the kobold's corpse.

[Daishain]

-personal diary, possible subjects include: erotic fantasies starring the kobold and creatures of various species (for bonus points, have one of them be recognizable as one of the PCs or someone they know), philosophical discourse on the nature of the koboldian life, notes on making particularly insidious traps, listings of hostile encounters and the interesting loot obtained from each, an escape plan detailing the kobold's planned attempt to flee his murderous brethren and become a cleric of Ilmater
-Child's drawing of kobold family with subscript "please come home safe daddy, we can't lose you too."
-charm/amulet/stone with engraved image of female kobold
-ball of lint, clearly not from current garment
-chunk of iron pyrite (fool's gold)
-shiny but worthless gem
-a copy of Deekin Scalesinger's adventures
-a gnome's skull
-leather scraps
-a magic stone that projects something like the night sky, but the constellations are all wrong
-religious tome dedicated to Bahamut and/or Tiamat
-keepsake related to dragons, eggshell, scale, clawtip, etc.
-notes on how to prepare "chef ayki's beetle stew"

[JumboWheat01]

Deekin's books.

...Yes, I've been playing too much Neverwinter Nights lately.

[Mrmox42]

A small bag with 5 mysterious eggs. These eggs will hatch at an inopportune time, revealing 5 tiny and very hungry Rust Monsters.

[KorvinStarmast]

five diamonds, and the five of diamonds

[JellyPooga]

1) The Axe of the Dwarvish Lords
2) A Belt of Storm Giant Strength
3) Rod of Lordly Might
4) Robe of the Archmagi
5) Ring of Djinni Summoning
6) Luckstone

...what? You did say the 6 best things, right? No-one said the Kobold wasn't also a high-level adventurer...

[Elderand]

More kobolds

Because fractal kobolds make for the best kobolds.

[JumboWheat01]

1) The Axe of the Dwarvish Lords
2) A Belt of Storm Giant Strength
3) Rod of Lordly Might
4) Robe of the Archmagi
5) Ring of Djinni Summoning
6) Luckstone

...what? You did say the 6 best things, right? No-one said the Kobold wasn't also a high-level adventurer...

Mental note, stay far, FAR away from that Kobold.

[MaxWilson]

Grabs my attention immediately, because I sketch. As a player in your game, I'd want to know: what had it been sketching?

I'd also feel a momentary pang of guilt, and say a few words over the grave of Sketchy, the Kobold with an artists soul, cut down before the world could know his genius. (We were going to bury him, right guys? Guys ...?)

I actually gave one of these out last night in an orc's pockets, but the players didn't ask about the sketchpad. If they had, given the context of what was going on I would have said,

"On one page, a duck pond with a broken fence around it and pigs rooting in the mud. On the next page, a scrawny orc with lank hair looking ecstatically up into the heavens. The next three pages are of an orc in various poses with bulging muscles. In one sketch he is standing on a mound of skulls. In another he is surrounded by a worshipful throng of human and elvish women with exaggerated figures."

They didn't bury him but they did hide his body in a barn and cleaned up the blood.

==============================================


String, or nothing!

[appreciative laugh]

==============================================


The first six things that come to mind;

1. A 'kobold's guide to adventurers', with the best traps for each type
2. A fragment of shell or horn with a half-finished design etched in.
3. A strange bamboo-like stick with globs of unidentifiable, half-dried liquid on the interior
4. A crucifix-shaped icon of a dragon in flight.
5. A single clear gem painstakingly ground down to act as a lens.
6. A still living, white beetle with paint on its back that starts chirruping unceasingly until it can no longer see the kobold's corpse.

I think this invites a new thread on kobold trap optimization. :)

[Regitnui]

I think this invites a new thread on kobold trap optimization. :)

Traps are a kobold's thing. If any species would come up with specific traps for individual race/class/level combos, it would be the kobold.

[Tanarii]

-Child's drawing of kobold family with subscript "please come home safe daddy, we can't lose you too."
Oh, that's just sadistic. :)

[JumboWheat01]

Oh, that's just sadistic. :)

Hey, we're only talking about it pockets. One could easily just pick it, no murdering required.

[krugaan]

Hey, we're only talking about it pockets. One could easily just pick it, no murdering required.

"I hope you find our new house safely, daddy. [map]"

Imagine the extra cruelty after you pick his pockets, and he wanders for months, only to stumble on the shattered wreckage of his house by accident. He is greeted by the decaying corpses of his family, who were killed for a minor bit of loot and about 1/60th of a level.

Meh heh heh.

[Regitnui]

Oh, that's just sadistic. :)

And every storytelling DM is now grinning like a Cheshire cat.

[Tanarii]

Hey, we're only talking about it pockets. One could easily just pick it, no murdering required.
Not saying they'll automatically kill Kobolds. They make great allies against Goblins or Orcs. But lets be realistic here. If a murderhobo is getting stuff from their pockets, they're probably dead.

[GlenSmash!]

Deekin's books.

...Yes, I've been playing too much Neverwinter Nights lately.

There's now such thing as playing too much NWN. That game got me into D&D.

[Grey Watcher]

Traps, obviously. Kobolds are all about traps.

[mgshamster]

Traps, obviously. Kobolds are all about traps.

You rifle through the Kobold's pockets looking for some coin, and discover... A trap! Roll a dex save!

[JumboWheat01]

You rifle through the Kobold's pockets looking for some coin, and discover... A trap! Roll a dex save!

Does the kobold get an advantage to perception to realize that someone is being sneaky since a trap went off in its pocket and managed to take a pinch out of the kobold?

[krugaan]

You rifle through the Kobold's pockets looking for some coin, and discover... A trap! Roll a dex save!

Always be wary when your DM is a Mon Calamari.

[mgshamster]

Always be wary when your DM is a Mon Calamari.

A Caribbean squid?

[krugaan]

A Caribbean squid?

I meant like Admiral Akbar:

Akbar: you have slain the kobold.

PC: I loot it's filthy corpse!

Akbar: You find something!

PC: oh boy!

Akbar: ITS A TRAP!

[mgshamster]

I meant like Admiral Akbar:

Akbar: you have slain the kobold.

PC: I loot it's filthy corpse!

Akbar: You find something!

PC: oh boy!

Akbar: ITS A TRAP!

Oh, I got it. I was just trying a new spin/play on words. Failingly.

[krugaan]

Oh, I got it. I was just trying a new spin/play on words. Failingly.

Hah, well, its twisted 'round backwards.

[Demonslayer666]

dried dung
dead bug
live bug
extracted fingernail
worthless but interesting rocks
candy

[Beleriphon]

candy


Kobold Kandy?

[krugaan]

Kobold Kandy?

Cockroaches dipped in honey.

[RickAllison]

Cockroaches dipped in honey.

Crunchy, yet satisfying :smallwink:

[JellyPooga]

Cockroaches dipped in honey.

Crunchy on the outside, smooth on the inside. (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bqeGxMgVOHI)

[krugaan]

Crunchy, yet satisfying :smallwink:

The famed Hill Giant chef Grunklebong won the Irun Shef competition with his delightful dessert, kobolds drowned in honey after being force fed Kobold Kandy.

Watchers noted the dish was like foie gras, and applauded until they were forced to run for their lives.

[Madbox]

1) A hole. Not a portable hole, just a hole.
2) Copper coins, mangled to the point of being worthless
3) Braided hemp necklace
4) Smooth, shiny rocks
5) Dried meat
6) Teeth from some sort of small animal

[JoeJ]

A copy of Grimtooth's Traps with hand written annotations.

[soldersbushwack]

A copy of Traps Monthly.

[RazDelacroix]

A copy of Grimtooth Traps Monthly, with a more risque collection of centerfold lady kobolds and dragons lounging on hoards of treasure of various sizes secreted between much more mundane pages of trap designs.

[Ewhit]

To much to read here so I hope I don't copy
1. kobold bone dice set 4 sided, 6 sided 8 sided , 10 sided 12 sided , 20 sided
2. Handful of halfling feet hair
3. Used tissue with dried kobold snot. He still uses it
4. A card "if you ever come to waterdeep look me up" Elminster
5. 1/2 eaten mouse that he forgot about
6. A tiny piece of Amber; if you look closely a trapped demon is inside. Abd the gem is cracked

[RickAllison]

To much to read here so I hope I don't copy
1. kobold bone dice set 4 sided, 6 sided 8 sided , 10 sided 12 sided , 20 sided

Now I feel like I have to give the kobolds a grid or hex-marked paper, figurines, and a rulebook written in Draconic :smallwink:

[Regitnui]

Now I feel like I have to give the kobolds a grid or hex-marked paper, figurines, and a rulebook written in Draconic :smallwink:

The grid is marked on a sleeping chamber rock, and the DM has the figures. The players have to trap and kill the figures before they make it through the dungeon to the treasure room.