Amusing implications of various abilities

[martixy]

So, I was looking at some feat selections and while pondering upon Extended Reach, a thought occurred to me.
What if you had a bite attack?
Something like this (https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Rokurokubi)(pic (http://polycount.com/discussion/150036/rokurokubi)) immediately popped into my head.
I'm not sure how reasonable this interpretation is(is it?), but it is amusing.

What other odd interactions can you think of, that when taken to their logical conclusion produce similarly freakish results?

[Bobby Baratheon]

Not nearly the same scale, but night hags have mounted combat and are shown to ride Nightmares frequently. Night Hags only have one natural attack - bite. The hideous hag, mounted atop a Nightmare wreathed in shadow and flame, rides by and . . . bites you? That's some serious body control on the part of the night hag.

[ben-zayb]

So, I was looking at some feat selections and while pondering upon Extended Reach, a thought occurred to me.
What if you had a bite attack?
Something like this (https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Rokurokubi)(pic (http://polycount.com/discussion/150036/rokurokubi)) immediately popped into my head.
I'm not sure how reasonable this interpretation is(is it?), but it is amusing.

What other odd interactions can you think of, that when taken to their logical conclusion produce similarly freakish results?

Let's just say that, prior to reading OotS, my concept of a willing touch spell didn't involve anything sexual on either end (both the body part doing the touching and the body part being touched).

[martixy]

Let's just say that, prior to reading OotS, my concept of a willing touch spell didn't involve anything sexual on either end (both the body part doing the touching and the body part being touched).

:biggrin:
And then you come across BoEF...
Shag to heal, shag to increase abilities, shag to restore spells.

While we're on the subject, another amusing idea, though not as extreme as the original, is the Silthilar graft Extended Legs on a female character. You end up with Bayonetta. :D Legs for days.

[Thurbane]

Fling Ally?

http://i66.tinypic.com/35izthw.jpg

[martixy]

Oh, this reminds me...

https://i.imgur.com/V40Wi3e.jpg

[MisterKaws]

The same feat can give Monks a 6-feet genitalia...

[A.A.King]

The same feat can give Monks a 6-feet genitalia...

Up until this comment I had not conceived of the idea that the notion of "A monk's whole body is his weapon" could translate to the world's most dangerous turkey slap...

[martixy]

Up until this comment I had not conceived of the idea that the notion of "A monk's whole body is his weapon" could translate to the world's most dangerous turkey slap...

Up until this moment I had no idea such an act even warranted its own dedicated name.

[SwordChucks]

I had a whole build for this kind of monk. He used sizing and morphing with his kensai's signature weapon ability.

I called him Max Johnson.

[oxybe]

Extend Reach(bite) IRL, about 30 seconds in (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eh_HUIJkRzU).

[MisterKaws]

Other nice use for the Monk's body-weapon rule is using quick-draw to undress instantly.

[atemu1234]

How about a Paladin's disease immunity making them immune to disease, giving them immunity to STIs? Ethical Slut, anyone?

[ben-zayb]

How about a Paladin's disease immunity making them immune to disease, giving them immunity to STIs? Ethical Slut, anyone?

Don't be surprised whenever you see a tavern full of paladins and monks. Alcoholic drinks are counted as poison, and monks eventually get immune to that.

[atemu1234]

Paladins are immune to fear, and thus intimidation, making them poor negotiators in hostage situations.

[Troacctid]

I don't see why that would hinder their ability to negotiate with a hostage-taker--it should mean they can always keep a cool head in a tense situation.

[bobthehero]

How about a Paladin's disease immunity making them immune to disease, giving them immunity to STIs? Ethical Slut, anyone?

In the same vein, a PF Knight of the Sepulcher can carry diseases without ill-effect and transmit them. I promptly let myself get bitten by a ghoul as soon as I could.

[ShurikVch]

Sneak Attack - it don't care who attack who and with what (as long as necessarily conditions triggered, target isn't immune and don't have any fortification).
Ad a result - Rogue 19 may attack, say, Lion (http://www.d20srd.org/srd/monsters/lion.htm), with a Poison Ring - unpoisoned! - and still kill it!
Poison Ring!
Unpoisoned!
1 base damage (sans Sneak Attack)!
Kill a Lion!
And this time we can't even say "It's Magic!", because it isn't

[MisterKaws]

Sneak Attack - it don't care who attack who and with what (as long as necessarily conditions triggered, target isn't immune and don't have any fortification).
Ad a result - Rogue 19 may attack, say, Lion (http://www.d20srd.org/srd/monsters/lion.htm), with a Poison Ring - unpoisoned! - and still kill it!
Poison Ring!
Unpoisoned!
1 base damage (sans Sneak Attack)!
Kill a Lion!
And this time we can't even say "It's Magic!", because it isn't

And for the same reason, you don't teach Insightful Strike to a mosquito; otherwise, you won't have to worry about getting ill if you're bitten, 'cause you're dead.

[Gildedragon]

Sneak Attack - it don't care who attack who and with what (as long as necessarily conditions triggered, target isn't immune and don't have any fortification).
Ad a result - Rogue 19 may attack, say, Lion (http://www.d20srd.org/srd/monsters/lion.htm), with a Poison Ring - unpoisoned! - and still kill it!
Poison Ring!
Unpoisoned!
1 base damage (sans Sneak Attack)!
Kill a Lion!
And this time we can't even say "It's Magic!", because it isn't

Jab it right in the aorta

[ShurikVch]

Mosquito's Bite skill trick is fairly amusing "as is".
Corsair PrC (Dragon #321) from 8th level can wield an one-handed weapon as if it's a lite weapon - thus, to use it for Mosquito's Bite.
Maul (Complete Warrior) is exotic one-handed bludgeoning weapon, which is (for Medium size) do d10 damage, and weight 20 lbs.
Assuming 20 Str, +1 weapon, and successful critical strike, Mosquito's Bite may do 48 damage, but victim still wouldn't notice a thing

[atemu1234]

Mosquito's Bite skill trick is fairly amusing "as is".
Corsair PrC (Dragon #321) from 8th level can wield an one-handed weapon as if it's a lite weapon - thus, to use it for Mosquito's Bite.
Maul (Complete Warrior) is exotic one-handed bludgeoning weapon, which is (for Medium size) do d10 damage, and weight 20 lbs.
Assuming 20 Str, +1 weapon, and successful critical strike, Mosquito's Bite may do 48 damage, but victim still wouldn't notice a thing

IIRC, Touch Attacks (even supernatural ones) qualify as light weapons. I once used Shadow Rogues with the Mosquito Bite skill trick on a group of PCs.

[Zaq]

This one's kind of easy pickings, but it's so easy that it still boggles my mind that the devs didn't catch it before it went to print: Invisible Spell. Once you apply it to basically anything other than Fireball (and most similar spells), it becomes completely insane. Invisible Summon Monster. Invisible Wall of Stone (which I will remind you is instantaneous and nonmagical). Invisible Animate Dead. If you use Invisible Polymorph to turn into a hydra, do you still look like a humanoid, or do you look like an invisible hydra? On and on it goes.

I mean, I'm hardly saying anything that's going to be new to anyone here, but still, they really should have thought that one through a little bit better, no?

Trackless Step has always amused my group. We like to imagine someone running across a desert or a similar dusty/sandy area—they still kick up dust the way anyone else would (nothing in Trackless Step says you don't interact with the ground, just that you don't leave tracks), but the dust then just happens to fall back exactly as it was in the first place. Amusing mental image. (This is especially funny if you combine it with the Sand Dancer feat from Sandstorm, which has you kick up sand as part of your movement and fling it in an enemy's face to try to blind them; nothing about Trackless Step would make this impossible, but you still leave no trail after doing so.)

If you want to talk about implications, let's go over an old favorite: the Paragnostic Assembly. You can get pretty nice bonuses on Truespeak for being a ranking member in the Assembly, and since Truespeak bonuses are rare and precious, basically every Truenamer in a world that includes the Assembly either will be a member or will want to be a member. (I guess you could get the odd rebel or perhaps an ex-member who got expelled, but they'll be rare and unusual.) So you have an organization that is primarily dedicated to the pursuit of knowledge in all its forms, but that organization just happens to have Truenamers flocking to it. I really doubt the writers of Complete Champion intended for that to be the case, but it seems like a clear implication to me.

[Jormengand]

If you want to talk about implications, let's go over an old favorite: the Paragnostic Assembly. You can get pretty nice bonuses on Truespeak for being a ranking member in the Assembly, and since Truespeak bonuses are rare and precious, basically every Truenamer in a world that includes the Assembly either will be a member or will want to be a member. (I guess you could get the odd rebel or perhaps an ex-member who got expelled, but they'll be rare and unusual.) So you have an organization that is primarily dedicated to the pursuit of knowledge in all its forms, but that organization just happens to have Truenamers flocking to it. I really doubt the writers of Complete Champion intended for that to be the case, but it seems like a clear implication to me.

Weirdly, I don't make my 'Namers join the PA. I just don't like having to give them a cut of the loot, and monthly tithes. Then again, I usually take item familiar for similarly amazing bonuses.

One thing that struck me as odd was that 20th-level truenamers are alerted every time someone says their name, which must get annoying when I'm trying to sleep, dammit.

[Zaq]

Weirdly, I don't make my 'Namers join the PA. I just don't like having to give them a cut of the loot, and monthly tithes. Then again, I usually take item familiar for similarly amazing bonuses.

One thing that struck me as odd was that 20th-level truenamers are alerted every time someone says their name, which must get annoying when I'm trying to sleep, dammit.

You don't HAVE to join the PA. But if the PA exists in the world as it is presented in Complete Champion, it's still going to contain a nontrivial portion of the world's Truenamers, which I think is kind of a neat emergent property.

Say My Name and I Am There doesn't necessarily trigger off your common name. It's a "true nickname," and it says that "you develop" it, which could be interpreted to mean that you decide what it is. (That's not ironclad, of course, but it's not a stretch to interpret things that way.) For exactly the reason you mentioned, I would imagine that most Truenamers who reach that level wouldn't choose to make their true nickname be something that comes up in casual conversation (including your common name).

[Necroticplague]

Ricochet shot deed can ignore all concealment by using a grit point. As an amusing result of this and its prerequisites, a sufficiently gritty (or Truely Gritty for ricochet shot) gunslinger is equally as able to fight you with their eyes closed as they are with them open.

[Telonius]

You don't HAVE to join the PA. But if the PA exists in the world as it is presented in Complete Champion, it's still going to contain a nontrivial portion of the world's Truenamers, which I think is kind of a neat emergent property.

Say My Name and I Am There doesn't necessarily trigger off your common name. It's a "true nickname," and it says that "you develop" it, which could be interpreted to mean that you decide what it is. (That's not ironclad, of course, but it's not a stretch to interpret things that way.) For exactly the reason you mentioned, I would imagine that most Truenamers who reach that level wouldn't choose to make their true nickname be something that comes up in casual conversation (including your common name).

Still, it's one snarky Bard away from being part of a tavern song.

[Jormengand]

Still, it's one snarky Bard away from being part of a tavern song.

Yeah, this. I mean, being able to irritate a truenamer at-will as a free action is mildly amusing.

[Inevitability]

The Locate City Bomb is still a divination spell, despite the metamagics piled up on it. In other words, Nondetection should have a chane of protecting against it.

[Kurald Galain]

One thing that struck me as odd was that 20th-level truenamers are alerted every time someone says their name, which must get annoying when I'm trying to sleep, dammit.

Presumably you sleep in a lead box? :smallbiggrin:

[Jormengand]

Presumably you sleep in a lead box? :smallbiggrin:

It's not even a Divination. If it were anything, it would be a Conjuration (Teleportation). Lead doesn't block it. :smalltongue:

[ShurikVch]

One thing that struck me as odd was that 20th-level truenamers are alerted every time someone says their name, which must get annoying when I'm trying to sleep, dammit.There was a pretty important reason (http://harrypotter.wikia.com/wiki/Taboo) why Voldemort was referred as You-Know-Who
Also, Remote Sensing (http://www.d20srd.org/srd/divine/divineRanksAndPowers.htm#remoteSensing):
This supernatural effect can also be centered on any place where someone speaks the deity’s name or title for up to 1 hour after the name is spoken, and at any location when an event related to the deity’s portfolio occurs.There (https://www.fanfiction.net/s/2626369/1/One-Round) is a little story about a man who cried: "Tiamat!"
And Hastur (http://www.yog-sothoth.com/wiki/index.php/Hastur) called "The Unspeakable One", or even "Him Who Is Not to be Named"


Ricochet shot deed can ignore all concealment by using a grit point. As an amusing result of this and its prerequisites, a sufficiently gritty (or Truely Gritty for ricochet shot) gunslinger is equally as able to fight you with their eyes closed as they are with them open.Ah, legendary blind gunslingers!.. :smallamused:
Blindman (https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Blindman), Once Upon a Time in Mexico (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fVltuJq1SQ8), this (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pZ6wnrJ8n-k) little thing, and even IRL (http://www.vice.com/video/blind-gunslinger)!

[ShurikVch]

Ghostly Grasp feat allow for Incorporeal creatures to carry around corporeal things...
But at the moment when Incorporeal creatures pick something corporeal, it will become Incorporeal too:
Any equipment worn or carried by an incorporeal creature is also incorporeal as long as it remains in the creature's possession. (link (http://archive.wizards.com/default.asp?x=dnd/glossary&term=Glossary_dnd_incorporealsubtype&alpha=))And Incorporeal means it's have no weight, which mean there is absolutely no limit for how much weight is able to carry character with Ghostly Grasp.
For example, it's possible to pick up a skyscraper-sized rock, then drop it on top of your enemies :smallcool:

Wonderful vanishing ammunition:
Generally speaking, ammunition that hits its target is destroyed or rendered useless, while normal ammunition that misses has a 50% chance of being destroyed or lost.So, chunk of solid adamantine, if shot out of catapult and hit a goblin commoner, would be destroyed so hopelessly you can't even gather it's shards to salvage some raw adamantine
Or you need to dispose of One Ring
No need for Mount of Doom.
Load the Ring into sling and shoot somebody - Ring would be destroyed! :smallamused:

There is funny interaction between ability to inflict nonlethal damage with "lethal" weapon and immunity to aforementioned nonlethal damage.
Say, Storm Giant (http://www.d20srd.org/srd/monsters/giant.htm#stormGiant), armed with oversized greathammer, powerattacks a Human Commoner Zombie (http://www.d20srd.org/srd/monsters/zombie.htm) for 50 damage.
It's enough to not just destroy the zombie, but also to completely ruin it's remains.
But now the same Storm Giant PAs the same Zombie for 50 nonlethal damage; Zombie is unaffected :smallconfused:

[martixy]

Ahahaha... Okay.
Though that's more of a dysfunction than anything else.

The ammunition bit is silly even for arrows. I'd put it, generally you can recover, but it loses whatever magical properties it had and becomes a mundane item.

I can kind of see the zombie situation.
When dealing lethal, you specifically aim for where it would hurt, on a zombie I'd put it as "structurally and mechanically critical spots", while dealing non-lethal, you do the exact opposite.


Ricochet shot deed can ignore all concealment by using a grit point. As an amusing result of this and its prerequisites, a sufficiently gritty (or Truely Gritty for ricochet shot) gunslinger is equally as able to fight you with their eyes closed as they are with them open.

There's probably some anime character out there that does exactly that.

[Jormengand]

It does say "Generally speaking". Unfortunately, "Generally" is an auto-antonym so you can't be sure whether they mean "All the time" or "Not all the time", but I'm gonna guess the latter.

[atemu1234]

There's probably some anime character out there that does exactly that.

If by anime you mean, "literally like 2/3s of Spaghetti Westerns" you'd be right.

[ShurikVch]

Some creatures in game are just other refluffed creatures - text usually says something like "exactly as ... except..."
Squirrels and Lemmings are refluffed rats.
As a result, we can have Halfling Weresquirrel or Gnome Werelemming

3rd party stuff: in infamous Immortal's Handbook, Demi-Deity gets maximal ranks in all skills;
Cthulhu Mythos skill (from Call of Cthulhu) also inflict penalty on Sanity score equal to skill ranks in it;
Sanity score can't be more than 99;
Thus, Demi-Deity of 95 HD is permanently insane

[KillianHawkeye]

This one's kind of easy pickings, but it's so easy that it still boggles my mind that the devs didn't catch it before it went to print: Invisible Spell. Once you apply it to basically anything other than Fireball (and most similar spells), it becomes completely insane. Invisible Summon Monster. Invisible Wall of Stone (which I will remind you is instantaneous and nonmagical). Invisible Animate Dead. If you use Invisible Polymorph to turn into a hydra, do you still look like a humanoid, or do you look like an invisible hydra? On and on it goes.

Invisible invisibility? :smallwink:

[Inevitability]

How about Invisible Daylight? It creates a completely imperceptible sphere of light, but for some reason drow (and orcs, and deep dwarves) have trouble seeing within it.

[Necroticplague]

How about Invisible Daylight? It creates a completely imperceptible sphere of light, but for some reason drow (and orcs, and deep dwarves) have trouble seeing within it.

Eh, invisible daylight makes a kinda sense. it's like IR flares in real life: doesn't do anything for normal vision, but if you have a special vision (See invisible, night-vision goggles), it makes the place look lit up.

[SwordChucks]

In the entry for octopus they have the ability to jet "backwards" (strange considering the lack of facing) 200ft. Nothing in the ability requires the octopus to be under water while using the ability.

So (using the pathfinder version of the octopus and drowning rules) an octopus holding its breath can spend 14 turns rocketing from the ocean to 2800ft away before needing to make a con check.

The monster entry even says that they use complex tactics to get food.

[ShurikVch]

Don't sure if it belong there or in Dysfunctional Rules, but:

Game don't have sizes smaller than Fine and larger than Colossal (Colossal+ is only for Dragons)

It means you still able, somehow, to fight creature which is so small it can take cover behind the grain of sand, and it still able to hurt you despite the fact weapon is much shorter then your skin is thick

On the other hand, Alduin the World Eater would be literally able to eat the world, because world is just Colossal, and epic dragon is Colossal+, thus world is legal target for Swallow Whole

Funny interaction between Vorpal weapon and Hamstring attack: you chopped off creature's head by hitting it's leg!

[Jack_Simth]

Ghostly Grasp feat allow for Incorporeal creatures to carry around corporeal things...
But at the moment when Incorporeal creatures pick something corporeal, it will become Incorporeal too:And Incorporeal means it's have no weight, which mean there is absolutely no limit for how much weight is able to carry character with Ghostly Grasp.
For example, it's possible to pick up a skyscraper-sized rock, then drop it on top of your enemies :smallcool:Catch: You have to be able to pick it up in the first place. For the vast majority of incorporeal creatures, the strength score is "-". The weight limit, thus, is Not a Number. Whether that means they can pick up anything, or nothing, is up to the DM. However: Most of them would have had a strength score at some point, so most DMs will end up either subbing Cha for Str, or going with whatever the strength score would have been... if it comes up (usually won't).

[zergling.exe]

Game don't have sizes smaller than Fine and larger than Colossal (Colossal+ is only for Dragons)

On the other hand, Alduin the World Eater would be literally able to eat the world, because world is just Colossal, and epic dragon is Colossal+, thus world is legal target for Swallow Whole

Colossal+ is a virtual size category, only affecting natural weapons, giving them greater reach and damage; as well as increasing the size of the dragon's breath weapon. They are still the same size as a Colossal creature.

(I really wish more people would read the rules for Colossal+ before posting about it)

[Inevitability]

In the entry for octopus they have the ability to jet "backwards" (strange considering the lack of facing) 200ft. Nothing in the ability requires the octopus to be under water while using the ability.

So (using the pathfinder version of the octopus and drowning rules) an octopus holding its breath can spend 14 turns rocketing from the ocean to 2800ft away before needing to make a con check.

The monster entry even says that they use complex tactics to get food.

You, sir, win D&D.

[ShurikVch]

Colossal+ is a virtual size category, only affecting natural weapons, giving them greater reach and damage; as well as increasing the size of the dragon's breath weapon. They are still the same size as a Colossal creature.

(I really wish more people would read the rules for Colossal+ before posting about it)OK!
Sorry about it
Gape of the Serpent feat (Serpent Kingdoms) allow to swallow your one size category

[MisterKaws]

OK!
Sorry about it
Gape of the Serpent feat (Serpent Kingdoms) allow to swallow your one size category

This is why nobody likes that book.

[ShurikVch]

This is why nobody likes that book.Actually, this feat is close reprint from Savage Species

[MisterKaws]

Actually, this feat is close reprint from Savage Species

And everyone who uses SS homebrews the hell out of it to balance the damn thing.

[ATHATH]

You, sir, win D&D.
Eh, it's been discussed before. That last line was a nice touch, though.

[Inevitability]

This is why nobody likes that book.

Not really. Ability Rip and Sarrukh cheese are why nobody likes that book.

[Khedrac]

How about Invisible Daylight? It creates a completely imperceptible sphere of light, but for some reason drow (and orcs, and deep dwarves) have trouble seeing within it.Actually the rules for invisible light sources are quite clear - the illumination levels are as if the light source was visible, but the light source itself cannot be seen.
So you get a large area which is fully bright without a light source.

[MisterKaws]

Actually the rules for invisible light sources are quite clear - the illumination levels are as if the light source was visible, but the light source itself cannot be seen.
So you get a large area which is fully bright without a light source.

Game developers these days use this strategy quite a lot.

[tyckspoon]

Not really. Ability Rip and Sarrukh cheese are why nobody likes that book.

Also the Manyfang Dagger, Blinding Spittle, and Venomfire.

[ShurikVch]

Halfling with Half-Ogre template is Medium-sized creature; can take Obese flaw -
http://cdn.obsidianportal.com/assets/104772/Stubbs_Plattermann.pngit cause you to lose benefits of Small size, which you don't have anyway.
I think it's both thematic and favorable
For extra fun, free feat from thar flaw may be Hulking Brute - "Dragonlance's Jotunbrud for Half-Ogres"

[Inevitability]

Halfling with Half-Ogre template is Medium-sized creature; can take Obese flaw -
http://cdn.obsidianportal.com/assets/104772/Stubbs_Plattermann.pngit cause you to lose benefits of Small size, which you don't have anyway.
I think it's both thematic and favorable
For extra fun, free feat from thar flaw may be Hulking Brute - "Dragonlance's Jotunbrud for Half-Ogres"

You can't take Obese as a medium-sized halfling: the flaw explicitly requires small size.

[ShurikVch]

You can't take Obese as a medium-sized halfling: the flaw explicitly requires small size.You're right.
Pity. :smallfrown:
(I may suggest something smaller than Halfling, but, unfortunately, Half-Ogre required no smaller than Small)

[martixy]

Game developers these days use this strategy quite a lot.

If by "these days" you mean the past 15 years, then you'd be correct.
Ever since illumination has existed as a concept in engine development in fact.
Game development has always been, and remains to this day, an exercise in compromise.

Back on topic, recently I've been thinking about self-consistency.
Many here are no doubt aware of the concepts of a tippy-verse.
Of how much a 0-level create water spell would impact the world at large. Or a permanent wall of fire being essentially limitless free energy.
Things, that in our universe are conveniently handled by the various conservation laws and fundamental symmetries.
I keep wanting to fix at least a bit of it, but honestly it's a sisyphean task.

It is an interesting train of thought, but it melts my brain just thinking about it.

[zyggythorn]

Bouyant armor from Stormwrack.

Add in Mountain Plate.

You are now in a life vest made of stone, implicitly granite stone.

[AvatarVecna]

I had a whole build for this kind of monk. He used sizing and morphing with his kensai's signature weapon ability.

I called him Max Johnson.

Heh...Kentucky Fried Movie flashbacks...

"Long Weng!"

"Hung Well!"

"Enormous Genitals!"

[ShurikVch]

You can't take Obese as a medium-sized halfling: the flaw explicitly requires small size.Uh uh, I know, I know!
Savage Progression Half-Ogre!
This way feats (and flaws) go before the template and Size change! :smallbiggrin:

[MisterKaws]

Uh uh, I know, I know!
Savage Progression Half-Ogre!
This way feats (and flaws) go before the template and Size change! :smallbiggrin:

I can already see the DMG flying.

[ShurikVch]

Power Attack feat can't be used with Light Weapon, but can be used with Natural Weapon; so, if you graft your Light Weapon to one of your limbs, you will be able to PA with it