Team Ready, Aim, Fire! Round 1

[Lord Herman]

Hello, and welcome to a spin-off of Silkenfist's Ready, Aim, Fire!

As the title suggests, this is a team-based variant of Ready, Aim, Fire. This first round will be an experiment, to see if the standard rules work with teams.

The rules are like those of the standard game (linky!), with a few additions:
1. The players are divided into two or more teams.
1a. At recruitment, the players specify their preferred team.
1b. Players who don't specify a team will be placed in a random team.
1c. If one team has more members than the other(s), I will randomly move players around. I'll first try to even it out with the players who didn't specify a team.
2. You can not shoot players on your own team.
3. If your team is the only one left standing, you win. There are no individual victories in this game - only victories as a team.

If this works, I might try some additional rules, that allow players to interact with their team mates. Something like covering a team mate, which somehow protects them. Any ideas are welcome.

For this first round, the theme will be the Trojan war. The teams are the Greeks and the Trojans, obviously.

Registration is open until Saturday, 18:00 GMT. If you want to join a specific team, please specify which one. If you don't specify a team, I will add you to a random team.

List of players:
Greeks
Akaziel
Almighty Salmon
Calamity
Indurain
Ink
Kasz
Lord Fullbladder
pingcode20
The Randomizer
Xykon Fan
Zar Peter

Trojans
Bassetking
Captain van der Decken
Castaras
Evnafets
Ezlo
Fleeing Coward
Fredricus
Gezina
HyramGraff
Lucky

[Lucky]

Ah heck, sign me up. Not really picky towards either team.

[Ink]

I'll play, and I'll be a Greek!

[pingcode20]

I'll sign up, on the side of the French Trojans.

Fetchez la vache!

[Xykon_Fan]

Ummm...I'll play on the Greek side

[Fredricus]

I'm in! I'll be on the Trojan side

[Akaziel]

Cool. I'm in.

I'm with the Greeks.

[Almighty Salmon]

Great, Sign me up!

Greeks please.

[Emperor Ing]

Ok ill join

Greeks plz

[Zar Peter]

I'm in but I will read the rules later :smallsmile:

OK, read the rules, no specific team for me.

[Fleeing Coward]

Count me in, Trojan

[Castaras]

In. Fillerty filler.

[Lord Herman]

These are the people who have signed up so far:

Greeks
Ink
Xykon Fan
Akaziel
Almighty Salmon
The Randomizer

Trojans
pingcode20
Fredricus
Fleeing Coward

Random team
Lucky
Zar Peter
Castaras

[HyramGraff]

I'll join. Random team please.

[Calamity]

I'm in. Team Greeks please.

[Kasz]

Sign me up please, I don't mind what team I'm on.

[InaVegt]

I'll be a Trojan, lest we not fall for the same trap again.

[Captain van der Decken]

In, please. I don't mind which team.

[Bassetking]

In. Random Team. (Though, you make me a trojan, I swear, I WILL dress up as Trojan-Man.)

[Indurain]

Sure why not? Either side.

[evnafets]

Count me in for this one.

On a related note, wasn't there a similar game that started signups - Battle For Azure City or some such? You could be a different role (eg Goblin, Undead) and had slightly different "Shoot", "Shoot air", "Shoot self" commands that interacted. I can't find it right now, but it looked a great twist for a multi-person ready aim fire.

[inky13112]

Oh I remember that! Whatever happened to it?

Course by now its timed out and been perma deleted.

I think I'll stand out of this one and watch. Ready, Aim, Fire never seemed like a game that should be played in teams. Its a Battle Royale to the death!

P.S. Battle Royale is a great book. Just saying.

@V HaHa! That alone is almost enough to make me change my mind and join.

Seeing as we apparently didn't make it clear enough just what we think of meatloaf day.

[Ezlo]

I'll play! I'd prefer to be a Trojan. This time, I will shove Meatloaf Day down all of your throats until you are FORCED to accept it!:smallbiggrin:

[pingcode20]

Lord_Herman: Are you absolutely sure we can't shoot our own teammates?

[Zar Peter]

The random team will win, we have more players!! :smallcool:

[Fleeing Coward]

I agree with pingcode, accidents do happen :smallbiggrin:

[Lord Fullbladder, Master of Goblins]

Ooo! I'll play! Greek, please.

I'll rip open Fredricus, and every other Trojan, until the city is destroyed.

Why'd you have to go and ruin my sentence, Pingcode?

[Lord Herman]

The registrations close in six hours - anyone who wants to play should sign up now.

[pingcode20]

I'd like to switch to Greeks, please.

Meatloaf day must die with its maker.

[Fleeing Coward]

Thou shall die a painful death traitor ... if I ever pluck up the courage to shoot anyone.

[Lord Herman]

The registrations are now closed. Let the games begin!



Team Ready, Aim, Fire! Round 1: The Trojan War

The conflict between Troy and Greece started long ago, when King Ezlo of Troy insulted the Greeks by proclaiming one of Zeus’ most holy days as Meatloaf Day. King Indurain of Sparta made things worse by appearing naked at important diplomatic talks. The abduction of the Spartan queen was the final straw.

Ten years it has been, since the Trojan Prince Fredricus ran off with Indurain’s wife, Lady Gezina of Sparta. Ten years, since the Greek fleet, led by Indurain’s Brother, Zar Peter, king of Mycenae, set sail for Troy. For ten years, the forces of Greece have laid siege to the great city of the Trojans, and for ten years, its great walls have withstood each and every assault.

After an argument about a slave girl, Lord Fullbladder refused to fight for Zar Peter. His nephew went into battle in his stead, but was killed by Prince Evnafets, who thought he was fighting Fullbladder himself.

Now Fullbadder and his band of goblins, the dreaded Myrmidons, have joined the fight again, and the war is drawing to its end. The Greeks are planning a final assault – King Ink of Ithaca has devised a cunning plan, involving a giant wooden alpaca.



Greeks
Akaziel
Almighty Salmon
Calamity
Indurain
Ink
Kasz
Lord Fullbladder
pingcode20
The Randomizer
Xykon Fan
Zar Peter

Trojans
Bassetking
Captain van der Decken
Castaras
Evnafets
Ezlo
Fleeing Coward
Fredricus
Gezina
HyramGraff
Lucky



Please enter your action by PM before Monday, 18:00 GMT.

[Zar Peter]

Come on my fellow comrades!

For the erm.. honour of my brother Indurain and the honour of Greece!

Ataaaaaaaack!!!!!!!!!

[Ezlo]

Come my Trojans! FOR MEATLOAF DAY!!!!! :smallfurious:

[inky13112]

Dang if only Atreyu were in this game on the Greek side...

The Trojan Llama!

[Atreyu the Masked LLama]

Sorry Inky, I was busy during registration week.

[Lord Herman]

Only five hours left, and I still need actions from these people:
Indurain
pingcode20
The Randomizer
evnafets
Gezina
HyramGraff
Lucky

[Xykon_Fan]

Hey, I'll be gone for a while (I don't know precisely how long) since I'll be on a road trip to Texas with my family.

I'll send in a few actions to Lord_Herman just in case.

Sincerely,
XF

[Lord Herman]

The forces of Troy assemble in front of the great gates of their city. King Ezlo has decided that these Greeks should be driven off once and for all, and hiding behind Troy’s walls doesn’t seem to be working. The Greeks meet the king’s challenge, and attack in force. The king mounts his steed, and rides straight toward the waiting Greeks. In retrospect, the king thinks, it might have been wise to tell the rest of the Trojans about the charge. Funny, the things you think of when you’re being skewered by a Greek spear.

Lord Fullbladder is out for revenge. But instead of going after Prince Evnafets, he decides to kill the one who started the whole thing – Prince Fredricus. Meanwhile, Fredricus, dismayed at the war he has caused, decides to end it all. He looks around, and sees Fullbladder. Surely, challenging the mightiest warrior of the Greeks is a one-way ticket to Hades. Just pretend you’re putting up a fight, and you might even end up in Elysium. Fredricus draws his sword, and opens his mouth to call out to Fullbladder, but the Greek is already charging – right into Fredricus’ sword. Just as the mighty Greek warrior tries to say something very profound and memorable, Van der Decken, captain of the royal guard, walks up and decapitates him. “Lucky I saw you there, prince Fredricus. He might have killed you.”

King Ink of Ithaca is working on his master plan. The wooden alpaca is finished, and he’s stuffing the last of the mashed potatoes into its hollowed-out interior. Suddenly, he hears bleating behind him – a llama, dressed up as a Trojan princess, looks disapprovingly at the wooden alpaca, and then at Ink. Ink tries to think of something witty to say, but is cut short by a swift kick in the chest – a kick that pushes him into the wooden alpaca. Ink hears the hatch close and lock, and then a grinding of wheels. With a satisfied bleat, the llama pushes the wooden monstrosity into the sea.

Kasz raises his sword, and runs at Fleeing Coward, roaring a battle cry. To his mild annoyance, the coward turns and runs. Chasing him across the battlefield, Kasz suddenly realizes that he is standing in the middle of the Trojan army. He tries to explain that he must have taken a wrong turn somewhere, but all he gets for an answer is twenty-five Trojan swords through the chest.

“Great idea, Sir,” one of The Randomizer’s men says, “while the others go and fight the Trojans, we have a nice day at the beach.” The Randomizer takes a sip from something green in a tall glass. “Yeah, I figured, if there are thousands of people at the battle, who’s going to miss the twenty of us? And it’s not like the king is going to walk up and… OH CRAP!”

King Indurain strolls out of his tent, stretches himself, and walks up to The Randomizer. “Say, weren’t we supposed to be doing something today? I remember we were going to do something… something with Troy? Or did I dream it? And where are all the other soldiers? Aren’t there supposed to be, like, thousands of you?” “Er… no, my liege, we… uhm… the other men left… er… to get ice cream. Yeah. And we were guarding the beach. To make sure the Trojans don’t steal it.” “Really? Well, I’ll have one of those drinks, then.”

Zar Peter has made a slight mistake. It started with executing his military advisor, Pingcode20, for being a smartass. Okay, so the remark about Zar Peter’s tactical insight was in poor taste, but in retrospect, quite accurate. Fortunately, Zar Peter had picked up some things about warfare. It’s like a game, Pingcode had said. Like chess. Zar Peter, however, didn’t understand chess, but luckily, he was great at rock-paper-scissors. Imagine the king’s surprise when he found out that paper doesn’t beat rock when the rock is being launched at you by big catapults.

Akaziel and Calamity have decided that if they’re going to fight in Zar Peter’s stupid war, they’re at least going to get rich from all the looting and pillaging. Spotting a temple of Apollo, the Greek warriors run inside, looking for gold. Instead, they find a priestess, holding two banana cream pies. “Surprise!” Castaras shouts, as she throws the pies into the Greeks’ faces. And surprised they are – who would have expected a priestess of Apollo to put acid-spitting beetles in those pies?

Lucky is sitting against a tree, sleeping. Almighty Salmon sneaks up on him. Hmm, he thinks, if I’m going to kill a Trojan today, why not do it in the most unnecessarily elaborate way possible? Twenty minutes later, the Salmon’s work is done. He has put a bucket of scorpions in the tree above Lucky’s head. A wire is attached to the bucket, and tied to a cat on the other end. Almighty Salmon will then sneak up on a guard dog, and hold up a mirror, causing it to bark. That will make the cat run away, tipping over the bucket and spilling the scorpions all over Lucky.

Surprisingly, the plan works perfectly. The barking dog does wake up Evnafets, who overslept and missed the whole battle.

HyramGraff tries to reason with the raging Greek that’s standing in front of him. He tries to tell Xykon Fan that this war is madness. The Spartan warrior responds: “Madness? This! Is! SPARTA!” HyramGraff thinks a while, and then responds, “No, it’s not. This is Troy,” and stabs Xykon Fan in the face.

Bassetking is on guard duty. Patrolling Troy’s walls, he suddenly sees the massive Greek army. He grabs his spear, runs at the Greeks, realizes that he is (or rather, was) standing on top of a 30 foot high wall, and falls to his death.

[Lord Herman]

Okay, that was a bit longer than I intended.

{table]Greeks|Action
Akaziel|Castaras
Almighty Salmon|Lucky
Calamity|Castaras
Indurain|Timeout
Ink|Air
Kasz|Fleeing Coward
Lord Fullbladder|Fredricus
pingcode20|Self
The Randomizer|Timeout
Xykon Fan|HyramGraff
Zar Peter|Self[/table]

{table]Trojans|Action
Bassetking|Self
Captain van der Decken|Lord Fullbladder
Castaras|Self
Evnafets|Timeout
Ezlo|Self
Fleeing Coward|Self
Fredricus|Self
Gezina (hijacked by Atreyu)|Ink
HyramGraff|Self
Lucky|Timeout[/table]


Greeks
Almighty Salmon
Indurain
The Randomizer
Akaziel
Calamity
Ink
Kasz
Lord Fullbladder
pingcode20
Xykon Fan
Zar Peter

Trojans
Captain van der Decken
Castaras
evnafets
Fleeing Coward
Fredricus
Gezina
HyramGraff
Bassetking
Ezlo
Lucky


Please submit your actions before Wednesday, 18:00 GMT

[Castaras]

Sweet! My suicide actually worked! :smallbiggrin:

[HyramGraff]

Sweet! My suicide actually worked! :smallbiggrin:

QFT. It looks like the trojans had mostly the same idea.

[Lord Fullbladder, Master of Goblins]

Well, that didn't go quite as planned.

Avenge me, Soundwave.

Wait, the Trojans are winning.

[Almighty Salmon]

Bwahahaha! Yes! My plan worked! :smallamused:

But we're outnumbered now :smalleek:

[Calamity]

Sweet! My suicide actually worked! :smallbiggrin:

Curse you Castaras! CURSEEEEEEE YOUUUUUUUUUU!!!! :smalltongue:

[Ink]

Grrr... mutter mutter.. lousy stupid llama.. mutter...

[Ezlo]

Bah! Like always, my crusades for Meatloaf Day are short lived. One of these days I'll get you, one of these days!

[Fredricus]

I'm alive! My plan worked!

[Akaziel]

C'mon, Greeks. Win. Win. Eye of the tiger.

[Kasz]

Um this is bad. Curse that fleeing coward! Fled right into the enemy he did!:smallfrown:

[Atreyu the Masked LLama]

Grrr... mutter mutter.. lousy stupid llama.. mutter...


It was Gezina!

[Fleeing Coward]

My suicide didn't work, guess I'll have to try again :smallfrown:

[Lord Fullbladder, Master of Goblins]

I'm alive! My plan worked!

How did you manage to see through my clever plot to kill you, the one I said I would kill, and not Evnafets, the one flavour dictated I should kill, anyway? I am sorrily confuzzled.

[Lord Herman]

Don't forget to submit your action by tomorrow, 18:00 GMT. The following people haven't submitted an action yet:

The Randomizer (timed out last round, dies of inactivity flu if he times out again)


Also, feel free to post ideas for the next round. I'm only using settings that don't work in free-for-all RAF - settings that have two (or more) distinct sides.

[Castaras]

Curse you Castaras! CURSEEEEEEE YOUUUUUUUUUU!!!! :smalltongue:

:smallbiggrin:

[InaVegt]

How about a star wars themed one, maybe a battle for destroying the death star (or keeping it alive)

[Lord Herman]

The results will be up shortly.

[Atreyu the Masked LLama]

^^ Behold Ink! There is your killer!

[Lord Herman]

After a relatively quiet night, the armies of Greece and Troy face off once again. After his brother’s death, King Indurain has decided to lead the army himself. The Greek force is greatly reduced in strength – many of them died yesterday, and The Randomizer’s men are enjoying another quiet day at the beach.

Almighty Salmon couldn’t sleep last night. He was kept awake by the vivid image of Lucky’s gruesome death. He decides to pray for Lucky in the temple of Apollo. As he kneels down, he hears footsteps behind him. Thinking it to be Lucky’s spirit, he clutches at its feet, begging for forgiveness. With a scream, the priestess that was sneaking up on him stumbles, and falls face forward into the pie she was holding – a pie containing a spring loaded axe.

As Indurain’s army draws closer to the Trojan forces, Princess Gezina stands on the walls of Troy. “Go home, men of Greece,” she shouts. “Go home, men of Troy. I am not worth fighting for – and if it will help prevent more bloodshed, I will cast myself down from…” Suddenly, the princess is pushed forward, and falls down the wall. The llama that was standing behind her looks around a bit, and then walks off to nibble at a Trojan flag.

Back at the Greek camp, The Randomizer is still lying at the beach. While his men are playing a game of volleyball, he has decided to take a little nap. Unfortunately, he had forgotten about the tide – and as the water rises, The Randomizer disappears beneath the waves.

“Stay down, Evnafets,” says prince Fredricus, “their archers can hit you when you stand up!” Evnafets, Fredricus, Captain van der Decken, Fleeing Coward, and HyramGraff have decided it’s much safer to stand atop Troy’s thick walls, shooting arrows at the enemy. But now that the Greeks have brought up their archers, the Trojans just stay down and try not to get hit. Except Evnafets. Prince Evnafets is standing up, making faces at the Greeks. “Evnafets, get down!” Finally, the stubborn prince does as his brother says. Although it’s probably the arrow through his forehead that finally made him get down.

Meanwhile, Indurain’s army has reached the walls of Troy. “My word, it seems someone has put a bloody great wall right in our path! Does anyone know what we’re supposed to do now?” Indurain’s soldiers shrug. “Oh well, let’s just do it the old fashioned way, then. Have at it, men!” The King draws his sword, and starts hacking away at the wall. He’s finally beginning to make some progress, as he hears a voice from above. A Trojan soldier, holding a huge meatloaf, screams: “For King Ezlo! For MEATLOAF DAY!”, and drops the meatloaf on Indurain’s head.

[Lord Herman]

{table]Greeks|Action
Almighty Salmon|Self
Indurain|Self
The Randomizer|Timeout[/table]

{table]Trojans|Action
Captain van der Decken|Air
Castaras|Almighty Salmon
evnafets|Self
Fleeing Coward|Air
Fredricus|Air
Gezina|Self
HyramGraff|Air[/table]



Greeks
Almighty Salmon
Akaziel
Calamity
Indurain
Ink
Kasz
Lord Fullbladder
pingcode20
The Randomizer
Xykon Fan
Zar Peter

Trojans
Captain van der Decken
Fleeing Coward
Fredricus
HyramGraff
Bassetking
Castaras
evnafets
Ezlo
Gezina
Lucky


Only one Greek left, against four Trojans!

Please submit your actions before Friday, 18:00 GMT.

[Almighty Salmon]

... :smalleek:

Yikes.
I am so dead..
Ah well, Bring it on Trojans!

[Zar Peter]

Come on, Almighty Salmon!

You get it, you're our last hope, greek lies on YOU'RE shoulders!

Oh, and don't panic.

[Castaras]

Dammit! :smallmad: :smallwink:

Go trojans!

[HyramGraff]

Well it looks like Greek minds think alike.

Also, shouldn't the top Trojan be Captain van der Decken?

[Lord Herman]

Here are some ideas for future rounds:
Star Wars
Napoleontic Wars
Starcraft
Adventurers vs Random Dungeon Denizens (goblins, kobolds, etc)

Feel free to comment on these ideas, or suggest your own.

[inky13112]

Starcraft! Yes!

Oo and on that theme, maybe warcraft. Or better yet, DotA!

But starcraft would be awesome, I'd totally play that.

[Indurain]

Go Salmon!!

[Lord Fullbladder, Master of Goblins]

Ooooo... Suggestions....

Autobots vs. Decepticons (okay, show of hands, who saw that coming?)
Federation vs. Klingons/Later Enemies
Generalized Spaceship Fight
Amphibians vs. Insects
The Terminator Backstory (Man vs. Machine)


Because I'm weird like that, you get suggestions tha are weird like me.

[Captain van der Decken]

Matrix Hackers vs Agents?


And, yeah, I am the top Trojan.

[Lord Herman]

(moved to a new post)

[Akaziel]

C'mon, Salmon! Show 'em what Greeks can do!

[Zar Peter]

C'mon, Salmon! Show 'em what Greeks can do!

Self murder?

[Lord Herman]

“Hello!” Almighty Salmon shouts. “Where is everybody?” The Greek camp is deserted. Salmon does find the drowned corpse of The Randomizer on the beach, but there’s isn’t a living Greek in sight. As he returns to his tent, he finds a note. It reads:

Dear Almighty Salmon,

We’re all dead. Please avenge us.

Regards,
All the other Greeks

“Oh dear,” Almighty Salmon says to himself, “avenge them, all by myself? I’d better start working on a plan, then.”

“I don’t think they’re coming. I think we got them all,” says HyramGraff to the other Trojans standing on the wall. Prince Fredricus turns to him and says: “Well, let’s go to the tavern and get drunk, then. But I think it’s wise to have someone guarding the gate, just in case.”

“Not me,” says HyramGraff. “Me neither,” says Fleeing Coward. Van der Decken mumbles something in his sleep. “Alright,” says Fredricus, “Captain van der Decken just volunteered for guard duty. Come, let’s go.” While the other Trojans head for the tavern, Van der Decken dreams about meatloaf.

Captain van der Decken suddenly wakes up from the sound of someone knocking on the gate. ”Whuh? Wuzzat?” “It’s me, a fellow Trojan! And not a Greek at all! No, I’m certainly not a Greek who wants to sneak in and kill you all! I’m just a Trojan soldier, not the clever and dashing Almighty Salmon, who is out on a quest to avenge his fellow Greek soldiers! No wait, Almighty Salmon is not on a quest to kill you, so there’s nothing to worry about! Although I wouldn’t know, not being Almighty Salmon! In fact, I don’t even know who Almighty Salmon is, because I’m just a Trojan soldier! So could you please open the gate?” Van der Decken, now half awake, says: “Wuh… okay… coming…”

Captain van der Decken opens the mighty gates of Troy, and suddenly finds himself face-to-face with a decidedly Greek soldier, who has just stuck a sword in his chest. “I’m sorry, it would seem that I am Almighty Salmon after all. But if you knew I was a Greek, and not a Trojan like I said I was, you’d probably not have let me in. So I’m sorry if I caused any confusion. Then again, there’s actually little sense in talking to you, since you’re quite obviously dead. Now, would you mind if I borrowed your uniform?”

The streets of Troy are empty. Many Trojans are dead, and the others are nowhere to be seen. But the Salmon, being a trained soldier, knows exactly where to find his enemy. After all, soldiers only do two things – drink and fight. And there isn’t any fighting going on. Putting on his recently acquired Trojan helmet, Almighty Salmon heads for the tavern.

[Lord Herman]

{table]Greeks|Action
Almighty Salmon|Captain van der Decken[/table]

{table]Trojans|Action
Captain van der Decken|Timeout
Fleeing Coward|Air
Fredricus|Air
HyramGraff|Air[/table]


Greeks
Almighty Salmon
Akaziel
Calamity
Indurain
Ink
Kasz
Lord Fullbladder
pingcode20
The Randomizer
Xykon Fan
Zar Peter

Trojans
Fleeing Coward
Fredricus
HyramGraff
Bassetking
Captain van der Decken
Castaras
evnafets
Ezlo
Gezina
Lucky

[Captain van der Decken]

Heh.

Don't really have much else to say.

[Almighty Salmon]

Oh, that is just too sweet :smalltongue:

To the tavern!

EDIT: add me to the auto-notify list please

[Lord Herman]

Oh, before I forget: please submit your actions before Saturday, 18:00 GMT.

Note that you have only one day to submit your action.

Also, you can now sign up for the auto-notify list. I will PM everyone on the list whenever the signups for a new round start.

[Captain van der Decken]

Oh, yeah, add me to the auto-notify list.

[Raiser Blade]

Add me to the list pleeze

[Khaldan]

could i get on the auto notify list? thanks in advance :)

[Ink]

Go Salmon! You the fish!

I'd like to sign up for auto-notify too, please.

[Fredricus]

I'd like to join the auto-sign list

[DarkLightDragon]

And I just HAD to have my internet go down during one of the WORST times, didn't I?

I'll be looking out for the next round, so auto-list for me please. Watch out! :smallbiggrin:

[Castaras]

Auto notify list please.

[Fleeing Coward]

Auto Notify please and Salmon, we're having Sushi at the tavern and I'm going to shoot you the moment you enter :smallamused:

[Almighty Salmon]

You're eating sushi!? Ohh, you're going down now! :smallfurious:

Since when do Taverns serve sushi anyway?

[Fleeing Coward]

Please don't shoot me, you're Greece's last hope. You don't want to lose the war just because you're angry at Sushi eating Trojans do you?

[Almighty Salmon]

What's this? a double bluff?

i've already chosen my action and i'm not changing it :smalltongue:

[Fleeing Coward]

Bluff? I don't bluff, I just distort the truth :smallwink:

[Lord Herman]

The results for this round will be up shortly.

[Lord Herman]

“Sushi? Never heard of it,” the bartender says to a dismayed Fleeing Coward. Fredricus says: “Fleeing Coward, for Zeus’ sake, it’s 700 BC! Sushi hasn’t been invented yet! Now will you stop confusing that poor bartender and get me some wine!”

“I’m telling you, prince Fredricus, I don’t trust this. We shouldn’t have let Captain van der Decken guard the gate alone. There could be a whole army of Greeks sneaking into the city at this very moment!” “Come on, HyramGraff, do you honestly think there is even a single Greek left alive after yesterday’s battle? There’s nothing to worry about.”

A few minutes later, another Trojan walks into the tavern, and walks up to the bar. “Bartender, by order of a very important general, I am taking command of this bar.” The bartender, impressed by the Trojan’s shiny helmet, does as he says.

“Say, prince Fredricus, have you ever seen that soldier before? His uniform looks a lot like Van der Decken’s, don’t you think? Except for the big hole in the chest, that is.” “For crying out loud, HyramGraff, do you have to be so suspicious? You know what, why don’t you go and interrogate him? I’m sure he’ll appreciate to be questioned by his countrymen after risking his life for Troy.” “Fine,” says HyramGraff, “I’ll do that.”

“Hey, you there,” says HyramGraff, walking up to the bar. “I haven’t seen you before. What’s your name?” “I’m Inconspicuos the Trojan. I’m a Trojan soldier. Not a Greek.” “Oh, really? And why should I trust you? You look rather Greek to me.” “Um… because I’m giving you a cup of wine, see? A nice, refreshing, and not at all poisoned cup of wine. Would a Greek intruder, out for revenge for the death of his fallen comrades, give you a cup of wine that was not poisoned? I wouldn’t think so. No, if I were Almighty Salmon, the mighty Greek warrior, the wine you are drinking would be poisoned. And it’s not. Honest. No, the internal hemorrhaging and involuntary muscle spasms you’re experiencing are certainly not the result of drinking this fine Trojan wine.”

“Erm, excuse me,” the soldier who is most definitely not Almighty Salmon says, “you there, in the fancy hat.” “I’m prince Fredricus.” “Yeah, you. It would seem that your comrade has suddenly and inexplicably died – certainly not as a result of drinking this wine. Which is not poisoned.”

[Lord Herman]

{table]Greeks|Action
Almighty Salmon|Self[/table]

{table]Trojans|Action
Fleeing Coward|Air
Fredricus|Air
HyramGraff|Almighty Salmon[/table]


Greeks
Almighty Salmon
Akaziel
Calamity
Indurain
Ink
Kasz
Lord Fullbladder
pingcode20
The Randomizer
Xykon Fan
Zar Peter

Trojans
Fleeing Coward
Fredricus
Bassetking
Captain van der Decken
Castaras
evnafets
Ezlo
Gezina
HyramGraff
Lucky


Auto-Notify List
Almighty Salmon
Captain van der Decken
Castaras
DarkLightDragon
Firepup
Fleeing Coward
Fredricus
Ink
Khaldan
Raiser B1ade

If you want to be added to the list, just post here and ask. Remember, you'll still have to register for the game - people on the list just get a PM to notify them that registration has started.


Please submit your actions before Sunday, 18:00 GMT

[Fredricus]

This is getting interesting

[firepup]

Auto-notify me capitan.

[Almighty Salmon]

Just two more now..

this is gonna be fun :smallamused:

[Ink]

Salmon, you are the pride of Greece. Go get 'em!

[Akaziel]

Whoa. That was... Awesome. Go Salmon.

Also, Auto-notify.

[Xykon_Fan]

First, please add me to the auto-notify list. Thank you for running this.

Second, Salmon, this is amazing.

Third, it seems this will head towards another 1 vs. 1 match.

Fourth, is Salmon or Lord Herman choosing the ways to kill?

[Lord Herman]

Fourth, is Salmon or Lord Herman choosing the ways to kill?

That would be me. But I use all the player input I can get - if a player specifies a way to kill (or get killed) in their PM, I always try to fit it into the story.


Also, the updated auto-notify list:

Auto-Notify List
Akaziel
Almighty Salmon
Captain van der Decken
Castaras
DarkLightDragon
Firepup
Fleeing Coward
Fredricus
Gezina
Ink
Khaldan
Raiser B1ade
Xykon Fan

If you want to be added to the list, just post here and ask. Remember, you'll still have to register for the game - people on the list just get a PM to notify them that registration has started.

[InaVegt]

Auto notify me please, I'd also like you to notify me when we start after registration.

[Lord Herman]

The results of this round will be up in a minute. Or maybe two minutes.

[Lord Herman]

“Hey, Fredricus, do you think this new bartender – who, incidentally, looks a lot like Almighty Salmon – serves sushi?” Prince Fredricus sighs. “Go and ask him if you really want to know.”

“Excuse me, mister bartender who looks a lot like Almighty Salmon but can’t be him because Almighty Salmon is a Greek and you’re wearing a Trojan uniform, do you happen to serve sushi?” “Why, certainly, sir. It is one of my specialties. Please wait a moment while I prepare your sushi in a very traditional and elaborate way.”

Half an hour later, the bartender comes back with a plate of sushi. “Voilà, monsieur, your sushi.” Fleeing Coward stares at the sushi, and asks: “Why does my sushi have a fuse?” “Oh, that is perfectly normal, sir. It’s traditional. Now please eat your sushi before the fuse runs out.”

Seconds later, the bartender jumps out of the exploding tavern, closely followed by Fredricus. “You Greek bastard,” Fredricus yells, “this is the Trojan war! It’s 700 BC! You’re not supposed to use gunpowder!” Almighty Salmon, drawing his sword, says: “Look, you started it. If your soldiers can order sushi, I can use gunpowder. But now that you’ve figured out who I am, we might as well have a spectacular fight scene.” “Alright,” says Fredricus. The prince draws his sword, and swings it at Almighty Salmon.

A few thrusts and parries later, Fredricus realizes he’s outmatched. Although he has a lot of experience wooing Spartan queens, he never bothered to take sword fighting lessons. Heroically, he drops his sword and runs away. The Greek is faster than Fredricus, but the Trojan prince knows his way around the city. Every time Almighty Salmon thinks he almost has him, Fredricus turns a corner and disappears.

Almighty Salmon chases Fredricus through the narrow streets of Troy, into the palace, out through the stables, and into the kennels. They’re both out of breath, but the Greek is determined to kill Fredricus. Blinded by fury, he swings away at the Trojan. Fredricus keeps evading him, which infuriates the Salmon even more. Suddenly, Fredricus breaks into a run again. Almighty Salmon follows him, but stumbles over a corpse – the corpse of Lucky, which is still crawling with scorpions.

Noticing that he isn’t being followed anymore, Fredricus turns around, and sees Almighty Salmon’s gruesome death. “Phew, that was close.”

And so it was that the Greek invasion of Troy failed. King Fredricus ruled Troy for another three days, until he accidentally knocked over a candle and burned the entire city to the ground. Some guy called Homer later claimed that it was in fact the Greeks who burned down Troy, but he lied.

[Lord Herman]

{table]Greeks|Action
Almighty Salmon|Fleeing Coward[/table]

{table]Trojans|Action
Fleeing Coward|Air
Fredricus|Almighty Salmon[/table]


The Trojans have won - Fredricus is the only survivor. Congratulations!

The signups for the next round begin as soon as I've decided on the theme. I'm open for suggestions. It should be a conflict with two distinct sides, and the theme should be pretty well-known.

[Almighty Salmon]

Bah!

Ah well, it was fun while it lasted, Sorry to all those greeks i didn't avenge :smalltongue: Trust Lucky's corpse to be my death eh?

Oh, and great writing Lord Herman.

[Fredricus]

I bravely run away! And won!

That was close, a great game.

[Castaras]

And so it was that the Greek invasion of Troy failed. King Fredricus ruled Troy for another three days, until he accidentally knocked over a candle and burned the entire city to the ground. Some guy called Homer later claimed that it was in fact the Greeks who burned down Troy, but he lied.

Hah! :smallbiggrin:

Awesome game everyone! Go Trojans!

[Lord Fullbladder, Master of Goblins]

Beautiful. Now I have to give Salmon a whack on the head, for not watching where he's going.

[Lord Herman]

Registration for the next round has started. The theme is Star Wars.

You can sign up here.

[Ink]

Oh well, you did the best you could, Salmon. At least the city of Troy burned down at the end, eh. :smallamused:

Great writing, Herman. Very entertaining.

[Fleeing Coward]

Nice writing Lord Herman, pity the city burnt down but at least we won.