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ericgrau
2016-03-29, 11:12 PM
The honor of starting this thread humbles me, as I am a mere messenger of the gods to deliver their will to the masses.

Professor Gnoll
2016-03-29, 11:19 PM
I make the first reply only as one might reply swiftly to the call of Justice, to act swiftly to save the lives of the innocent, to strike Evil down swiftly before it might have the chance to corrupt anything that is Good.

Darth Paul
2016-03-29, 11:30 PM
I enter this thread only as one might enter a righteous battle, bringing swift death to all confirmed evil-doers, yet bringing mercy and healing to the innocent and to those with the wisdom to lay down their arms and surrender before me, the humble servant of my exalted god.

The_Weirdo
2016-03-29, 11:51 PM
>_>

<_<

Is this thread morally justif*gets shot*

Lvl45DM!
2016-03-30, 12:10 AM
ONCE MORE INTO THE BREACH!
Evil doth cry havoc and let slip the dogs of war, and it is my duty to stand against this tide of Evil, on the banks of the River of Truth, plant my feet by the Tree of Justice and say nay! Nay,thou shalt not encroach upon those lands of light, which are my sacred charge. Nay thou wicked and base Evil shall not spread thine venomous taint forth! I say thee NAY!
You still approach, for you think that all that stands against you is a man. You think that muscles swing my sword and that my heart pumps only blood, but the shadows in your souls have blinded you to the truth. Righteousness swings my blade, and my heart pumps not blood but honor and courage. What stands before you is a man sheathed in the holy fire of his faith. What stands here is the Fist of God, a humble and meager vessel channeling the divine wrath of the Most High!
Though many rise against me, and I stand alone, sure to fall, I stand nonetheless. My death will buy saftey for the innocent and helpless, and my life shall buy the deaths of all who come within reach of my steel.
Aha, you hesistate, puling minions of darkness. A glimpse of what venegence you shall reap in the afterlife stalls your advance. I tell thee, thou are most blessed. Thou hast a chance, thine last chance to turn aside from the domain of Woe, and let thou souls uplift, carried on the wings of cherubim to the everlasting warmthof the heavens.
Should you let this chance pass you by, no Power on this planet, nor any that dwell below, shallspare you from the angels that descend from the celestial plane, with blood tipped wings and flaming sword to ferry your benighted spirits forth to the realms of Hellfire.
...
You attack? Then for the lost chance of redemption, I weep...
But I still stand here. Between Evil and the innocent. I shall ALWAYS.
Stand.
Here.
HAVE AT THEE!

LunarDrop
2016-03-30, 12:21 AM
ONCE MORE INTO THE BREACH!
Evil doth cry havoc and let slip the dogs of war, and it is my duty to stand against this tide of Evil, on the banks of the River of Truth, plant my feet by the Tree of Justice and say nay! Nay,thou shalt not encroach upon those lands of light, which are my sacred charge. Nay thou wicked and base Evil shall not spread thine venomous taint forth! I say thee NAY!
You still approach, for you think that all that stands against you is a man. You think that muscles swing my sword and that my heart pumps only blood, but the shadows in your souls have blinded you to the truth. Righteousness swings my blade, and my heart pumps not blood but honor and courage. What stands before you is a man sheathed in the holy fire of his faith. What stands here is the Fist of God, a humble and meager vessel channeling the divine wrath of the Most High!
Though many rise against me, and I stand alone, sure to fall, I stand nonetheless. My death will buy saftey for the innocent and helpless, and my life shall buy the deaths of all who come within reach of my steel.
Aha, you hesistate, puling minions of darkness. A glimpse of what venegence you shall reap in the afterlife stalls your advance. I tell thee, thou are most blessed. Thou hast a chance, thine last chance to turn aside from the domain of Woe, and let thou souls uplift, carried on the wings of cherubim to the everlasting warmthof the heavens.
Should you let this chance pass you by, no Power on this planet, nor any that dwell below, shallspare you from the angels that descend from the celestial plane, with blood tipped wings and flaming sword to ferry your benighted spirits forth to the realms of Hellfire.
...
You attack? Then for the lost chance of redemption, I weep...
But I still stand here. Between Evil and the innocent. I shall ALWAYS.
Stand.
Here.
HAVE AT THEE!

This sounds like Vaarsuvius if they took a level in paladin.

Darth Paul
2016-03-30, 12:21 AM
<draws sword>

Since you give me no other choice, let's fight.

goodpeople25
2016-03-30, 12:55 AM
Question on the rules, is this Paladin-Off restricted to just the base Paladin (LG) or would it also be open to the variant Paladins of Freedom(CG), Slaughter (CE) or Tyranny (LE)? Because that opens alot of possibilities. :smallsmile:
Yes i know i could just make a post and then clarify what paladin but i'm tired and treating this as an actual contest with rules is more fun :smalltongue:

Professor Gnoll
2016-03-30, 01:32 AM
Question on the rules, is this Paladin-Off restricted to just the base Paladin (LG) or would it also be open to the variant Paladins of Freedom(CG), Slaughter (CE) or Tyranny (LE)? Because that opens alot of possibilities. :smallsmile:
Yes i know i could just make a post and then clarify what paladin but i'm tired and treating this as an actual contest with rules is more fun :smalltongue:You dare besmirch this sacred thread with talk of alignments other than the Good that is Lawful, most unholy of sinners? May the sacred fire that lights the earth burn away your soul for even thinking of such a thing! Should you continue in this benighted endeavour, I will have no choice but to render unto you a verbal smiting the likes of which has not been seen since the Gods walked the earth! Begone, oh pitiable wretch, return to that foul darkness from which you surely crawled from to sprout such a contemptible idea from your vile and corrupted brain!
(but seriously, why not, go ahead)

goodpeople25
2016-03-30, 02:09 AM
You dare besmirch this sacred thread with talk of alignments other than the Good that is Lawful, most unholy of sinners? May the sacred fire that lights the earth burn away your soul for even thinking of such a thing! Should you continue in this benighted endeavour, I will have no choice but to render unto you a verbal smiting the likes of which has not been seen since the Gods walked the earth! Begone, oh pitiable wretch, return to that foul darkness from which you surely crawled from to sprout such a contemptible idea from your vile and corrupted brain!
(but seriously, why not, go ahead)
Your Rant only furthers my belief that you are against Freedom. Believe what you wish for yourself, but be warned if you continue to force your beliefs on others there will be consequences.

Professor Gnoll
2016-03-30, 02:27 AM
Your Rant only furthers my belief that you are against Freedom. Believe what you wish for yourself, but be warned if you continue to force your beliefs on others there will be consequences.Feh, what consequences could a being so obviously confused and tumultuous as yourself muster up? Inevitably, Chaos shall collapse in on itself, for it is formless and lacks all discipline. From its twisted ashes, Law shall rise up to bring peace back to the world. This is the fundamental way of all things, for Law is the source of Good, and Good needs order to survive.

DeliaP
2016-03-30, 07:28 AM
Ah, forgive me, thou who I am proud to be allowed to call comrades. I cannot possibly hope to compete against your prowess in words. For I am but a humble man, content to conserve what little powers I may possess that they may be of service to others. Others who suffer unjustly for want of a champion to defend them in a world which besets them with evil. And though I know my strength must seem meagre to you, who can boast such greater feats than I, yet gladly will I dedicate all that I have to their defense, and count the full price worth paying.

RatElemental
2016-03-30, 10:59 AM
A contest? Excellent. What better way to discern the strongest among us, that they may rule over those who prove themselves to be of a lesser station. Such is the way things are, nay, what they must be. Otherwise there would be nothing but a chaotic disjointed mess.

Paladin of Tyranny, obviously.

aurilee
2016-03-30, 01:34 PM
Ah, forgive me, thou who I am proud to be allowed to call comrades. I cannot possibly hope to compete against your prowess in words. For I am but a humble man, content to conserve what little powers I may possess that they may be of service to others. Others who suffer unjustly for want of a champion to defend them in a world which besets them with evil. And though I know my strength must seem meagre to you, who can boast such greater feats than I, yet gladly will I dedicate all that I have to their defense, and count the full price worth paying.

As a very unqualified judge, I declare you the winner.

Xefas
2016-03-30, 01:49 PM
As a very unqualified judge, I declare you the winner.

(I'm just gonna set someone else up for this.)

Only divine intervention could best such an effort.
Now someone needs to quote me and reply "I AM DIVINE INTERVENTION!"

ericgrau
2016-03-31, 02:01 AM
Well of course, for all our efforts are but the will of the gods channeled forth much as a smite through a righteous blade which none of us individually could certainly ever claim to be.

Darth Paul
2016-03-31, 02:06 AM
Well of course, for all our efforts are but the will of the gods channeled forth much as a smite through a righteous blade which none of us individually could certainly ever claim to be.

Given that none of us is Miko...

Oh yes. I went there. I totally went there.

lord_khaine
2016-03-31, 02:58 AM
Ah, forgive me, thou who I am proud to be allowed to call comrades. I cannot possibly hope to compete against your prowess in words. For I am but a humble man, content to conserve what little powers I may possess that they may be of service to others. Others who suffer unjustly for want of a champion to defend them in a world which besets them with evil. And though I know my strength must seem meagre to you, who can boast such greater feats than I, yet gladly will I dedicate all that I have to their defense, and count the full price worth paying.

O-Chul himself would nod in aproval.

Lord Raziere
2016-03-31, 03:40 AM
Ah, forgive me, thou who I am proud to be allowed to call comrades. I cannot possibly hope to compete against your prowess in words. For I am but a humble man, content to conserve what little powers I may possess that they may be of service to others. Others who suffer unjustly for want of a champion to defend them in a world which besets them with evil. And though I know my strength must seem meagre to you, who can boast such greater feats than I, yet gladly will I dedicate all that I have to their defense, and count the full price worth paying.

No, no my friend you sell yourself much too short, I know that you can boast far greater deeds than I by the dint of that speech alone. Your very dedication humbles me further and inspires me to dedicate myself even more towards our righteous cause, and though I can barely hold a sword and my armor does not fit so well, I will do everything in my power to hold true to my ideals come hell or highwater, for I know that my soul will endure what will come even if my body does not. It may not be as great or grandiose as your service, but I will do my best within as I can, no matter how small, and fight for what little I can protect, and if need be I will sacrifice myself so that you don't have to, such is my dedication to the inspiration you have given me.

Darth Paul
2016-03-31, 06:12 AM
You humble me, my brave comrades. I see that my pride led me to become boastful. I must rededicate myself to the basic tenets of our service. I humbly beg you hear me as I utter this vow...

Whatever is the will of the gods, will be my will.

I only hope that my will, is strong enough to carry out their will.

Gods willing, my will will sustain me in this mighty company, my fellow paladins, for whom I willingly throw myself again into the fray, to whatever end the gods would will.

Thus I pledge my sword and my soul once more to the will of the gods and the service of my comrades, that I willingly give myself, even my life, in fulfilling this pledge.

I beg you accept me once more into your noble ranks. I am but your humblest servant.

Mister Tom
2016-03-31, 06:52 AM
Next week, on Holier than Thou...

gooddragon1
2016-03-31, 06:54 AM
So many useful outlets for the implementation of beneficence, a pity that you have to contest over it, but good in that it brings out more beneficence. Let's strive to keep it that way with no animosity. Neutral good ;)

Nemeean_lion
2016-03-31, 07:56 AM
You humble me, my brave comrades. I see that my pride led me to become boastful. I must rededicate myself to the basic tenets of our service. I humbly beg you hear me as I utter this vow...

Whatever is the will of the gods, will be my will.

I only hope that my will, is strong enough to carry out their will.

Gods willing, my will will sustain me in this mighty company, my fellow paladins, for whom I willingly throw myself again into the fray, to whatever end the gods would will.

Thus I pledge my sword and my soul once more to the will of the gods and the service of my comrades, that I willingly give myself, even my life, in fulfilling this pledge.

I beg you accept me once more into your noble ranks. I am but your humblest servant.

Oh yeah? Well, you fight like a cow!

KorvinStarmast
2016-03-31, 10:45 AM
ONCE MORE INTO THE BREACH!
Evil doth cry havoc and let slip the dogs of war, and it is my duty to stand against this tide of Evil, on the banks of the River of Truth, plant my feet by the Tree of Justice and say nay! Nay,thou shalt not encroach upon those lands of light, which are my sacred charge. Nay thou wicked and base Evil shall not spread thine venomous taint forth! I say thee NAY!
You still approach, for you think that all that stands against you is a man. You think that muscles swing my sword and that my heart pumps only blood, but the shadows in your souls have blinded you to the truth. Righteousness swings my blade, and my heart pumps not blood but honor and courage. What stands before you is a man sheathed in the holy fire of his faith. What stands here is the Fist of God, a humble and meager vessel channeling the divine wrath of the Most High!
Though many rise against me, and I stand alone, sure to fall, I stand nonetheless. My death will buy saftey for the innocent and helpless, and my life shall buy the deaths of all who come within reach of my steel.
Aha, you hesistate, puling minions of darkness. A glimpse of what venegence you shall reap in the afterlife stalls your advance. I tell thee, thou are most blessed. Thou hast a chance, thine last chance to turn aside from the domain of Woe, and let thou souls uplift, carried on the wings of cherubim to the everlasting warmthof the heavens.
Should you let this chance pass you by, no Power on this planet, nor any that dwell below, shallspare you from the angels that descend from the celestial plane, with blood tipped wings and flaming sword to ferry your benighted spirits forth to the realms of Hellfire.
...
You attack? Then for the lost chance of redemption, I weep... But I still stand here. Between Evil and the innocent. I shall ALWAYS. Stand. Here. HAVE AT THEE!Putting the din into Paladin is a long cherished tradition.

I prefer O'Chul's style.
Strong silent type.
He just does it. (And he's so nice to MiTD).

Shining Wrath
2016-03-31, 10:56 AM
I stand before you as one whose humility is the greatest of his numerous virtues, prepared to go forth clad in the armor of righteous faith and armed with such strength as the gods see fit to grant one such as I.

Which armor and strength has thus far been sufficient, for here I stand, and many doers of evil cannot say the same, and many innocents rejoice in their safety.

Reathin
2016-03-31, 01:42 PM
The day before I took my sacred oaths, there were 13 layers of Hell.

We'd be down to 3 by now, but soup kitchens for orphaned kittens don't run themselves.

8BitNinja
2016-03-31, 02:22 PM
I communicate directly to my Diety and I have been guided by Him. I have slain evils from the most powreful undead to the dark evils of the lower planes. My holy sword glows with power, and is blinding when unsheathed. My arsenal has been made in the heavens and bestowed to me by a priest of the highest order. I have saved cities singlehandedly and have built several strongholds in the name of righteousness.

Upon my life, I will protect the weak and innocent

aurilee
2016-03-31, 02:57 PM
I communicate directly to my Diety and I have been guided by Him. I have slain evils from the most powreful undead to the dark evils of the lower planes. My holy sword glows with power, and is blinding when unsheathed. My arsenal has been made in the heavens and bestowed to me by a priest of the highest order. I have saved cities singlehandedly and have built several strongholds in the name of righteousness.

Upon my life, I will protect the weak and innocent

Yeah....this guy still wins: (your scarf, is it apricot?)


Ah, forgive me, thou who I am proud to be allowed to call comrades. I cannot possibly hope to compete against your prowess in words. For I am but a humble man, content to conserve what little powers I may possess that they may be of service to others. Others who suffer unjustly for want of a champion to defend them in a world which besets them with evil. And though I know my strength must seem meagre to you, who can boast such greater feats than I, yet gladly will I dedicate all that I have to their defense, and count the full price worth paying.
because I could actually stand being in a party with him
/rogue judges paladins

MichaelGoldclaw
2016-03-31, 04:08 PM
*Paladin of Freedom walks in*

Can you guys stop talking about how "OH SO RIGHTEOUS" you all are and GET BACK TO HELPING PEOPLE. Gods, it's like those poles up your asses reach so far up it's hitting that area in your mind that determines logic.

*Exits on the back of a Dragon with beer in one hand and a giant sword in the other with a beautiful scantily clad maiden at his side*

8BitNinja
2016-03-31, 07:42 PM
*Paladin of Freedom walks in*

Can you guys stop talking about how "OH SO RIGHTEOUS" you all are and GET BACK TO HELPING PEOPLE. Gods, it's like those poles up your asses reach so far up it's hitting that area in your mind that determines logic.

*Exits on the back of a Dragon with beer in one hand and a giant sword in the other with a beautiful scantily clad maiden at his side*

He does have a point, this whole thing was a little stupid, bragging about our paladin-ness.

But on the other hand, THERE IS NO SUCH THING AS A CHAOTIC GOOD PALADIN

Michael7123
2016-03-31, 08:00 PM
I would rather not participate in this thread. I am but a sinful man in a sinful nation. I would not be surprised to find those more fitting of the call of a paladin than I. I, for one, was blessed more in skill with the Pen than of the sword.

With that said, God has seen fit to grant me some small measure of discernment. And so, I have done some research to try and find some examples of the exemplars of our cause. Of tales to remind ourselves when things are their bleakest. To remind us that we were not the first to brave the trials brought by the Darkness.

So, if I may begin: A story from a land of darkness, covered in mists.



IN THE TIME BEFORE, IN A LAND OLD AS STONE, THERE WAS A WOMAN, AND SHE WAS EZRA.

EZRA WAS A HEALER OF THE SICK AND PROTECTOR OF THE WEAK.
SUCH WAS HER LOT IN LIFE. SUCH WAS HER ROLE IN THE GRAND SCHEME.

EZRA TOOK PRIDE IN THE ROLE FATE HAD GIVEN HER. HER DUTY WAS HER JOY.

FOR MANY YEARS EZRA HEALED THE LAME AND WATCHED OVER HER PEOPLE.
BUT AS TIME WENT ON, EZRA BEGAN TO SEE THE HOLLOW.

FROM THE MISTS OF DEATH CAME HORRORS OF THE NIGHT.
THEY WERE THE DRINKER OF BLOOD, AND THE STEALER OF BREATH, AND THE BEAST THAT RENDS.

MANY WERE THEIR LEGIONS. MANY WERE THE ROLES PLAYED BY DARKNESS IN THE GRAND SCHEME.

EZRA KNEW THAT THOUGH HER PEOPLE SUFFERED THOSE IN THE HOLLOW SUFFERED MUCH MORE. THUS SHE SET FORTH TO RELEASE THEM FROM THE MISTS OF DEATH.

IN TIME HER QUEST BROUGHT EZRA TO THE END OF ALL THINGS.
BEHIND EZRA STRETCHED ALL THE LANDS OF THE WORLD.
BEFORE EZRA ROSE ONLY THE MISTS OF DEATH.

EZRA SPOKE TO THE MISTS. ASKED SHE, "THE WORLD IS YOURS. YOU SET ITS SHAPE. WHY DO YOU ALLOW ITS PEOPLE TO WANDER, LOST AND AFRAID? WHY DO YOU ALLOW THE LEGIONS OF THE NIGHT TO ROAM UNDETERRED?" BUT THE MISTS DID NOT ANSWER.

ONCE AGAIN DID EZRA SPEAK. "ALL THINGS HAVE THEIR ROLE IN THE GRAND SCHEME. THE LEGIONS OF THE NIGHT HAVE THEIR PLACE. BUT GUARDIANS AND GUIDES HAVE THEIR ROLES IN TURN." STILL THE MISTS OFFERED NO REPLY.

FOR THE LAST TIME DID EZRA SPEAK. "YOU HAVE FAILED THE GRAND SCHEME. YOU HAVE CREATED A HOLLOW THAT MUST BE FILLED. IF YOU WILL NOT WATCH OVER YOUR PEOPLE, THEN MUST I."

UPON THE THIRD ENTREATY DID THE MISTS OF DEATH REPLY. FROM THE MISTS CAME A VOICE, AND THE VOICE SPOKE, SAYING, "TURN BACK. YOU KNOW NOTHING OF THE GRAND SCHEME. YOU KNOW NOTHING OF THE MISTS. YOU HAVE REACHED THE END OF YOUR WORLD. CONTINUE AND YOU SHALL FIND ONLY YOUR DESTRUCTION, NOTHING MORE."

YET EZRA HELD FAST AGAINST THE MISTS, SAYING, "YOU CANNOT BID ME ENTER, YET I CANNOT TURN AWAY. I OFFER MYSELF TO YOU SO THAT YOU MAY KNOW THE SUFFERING OF MY PEOPLE. IF I MUST BE DESTROYED FOR THEM, THEN THAT IS WHAT MUST BE."

THE MISTS OF DEATH FELL SILENT. THEN THE VOICE SPOKE, ONCE MORE. "ENTER THE MISTS IF YOU MUST, BUT NOT AS YOU ARE. YOUR KIND HAS NO PLACE HERE. TO ENTER THE MISTS, YOU MUST BECOME AS ONE WITH THE MISTS. NEVER AGAIN SHALL YOU LEAVE THEM. WILL YOU FOREVER SACRIFICE YOURSELF TO WATCH OVER THESE FEW MORTALS?"

SPOKE EZRA, "SUCH IS MY ROLE IN THE GRAND SCHEME. SO MUST IT BE."

AND WITH THOSE WORDS DID EZRA BECOME OUR GUARDIAN IN THE MISTS.


Source (http://nolandda.org/rpg/ravenloft/ebook-1.html)

EDIT: Yes, I know Ezra is considered LN official. I just think that's BS based on all the information available on her.

8BitNinja
2016-03-31, 09:32 PM
I would rather not participate in this thread. I am but a sinful man in a sinful nation. I would not be surprised to find those more fitting of the call of a paladin than I. I, for one, was blessed more in skill with the Pen than of the sword.

With that said, God has seen fit to grant me some small measure of discernment. And so, I have done some research to try and find some examples of the exemplars of our cause. Of tales to remind ourselves when things are their bleakest. To remind us that we were not the first to brave the trials brought by the Darkness.

So, if I may begin: A story from a land of darkness, covered in mists.



IN THE TIME BEFORE, IN A LAND OLD AS STONE, THERE WAS A WOMAN, AND SHE WAS EZRA.

EZRA WAS A HEALER OF THE SICK AND PROTECTOR OF THE WEAK.
SUCH WAS HER LOT IN LIFE. SUCH WAS HER ROLE IN THE GRAND SCHEME.

EZRA TOOK PRIDE IN THE ROLE FATE HAD GIVEN HER. HER DUTY WAS HER JOY.

FOR MANY YEARS EZRA HEALED THE LAME AND WATCHED OVER HER PEOPLE.
BUT AS TIME WENT ON, EZRA BEGAN TO SEE THE HOLLOW.

FROM THE MISTS OF DEATH CAME HORRORS OF THE NIGHT.
THEY WERE THE DRINKER OF BLOOD, AND THE STEALER OF BREATH, AND THE BEAST THAT RENDS.

MANY WERE THEIR LEGIONS. MANY WERE THE ROLES PLAYED BY DARKNESS IN THE GRAND SCHEME.

EZRA KNEW THAT THOUGH HER PEOPLE SUFFERED THOSE IN THE HOLLOW SUFFERED MUCH MORE. THUS SHE SET FORTH TO RELEASE THEM FROM THE MISTS OF DEATH.

IN TIME HER QUEST BROUGHT EZRA TO THE END OF ALL THINGS.
BEHIND EZRA STRETCHED ALL THE LANDS OF THE WORLD.
BEFORE EZRA ROSE ONLY THE MISTS OF DEATH.

EZRA SPOKE TO THE MISTS. ASKED SHE, "THE WORLD IS YOURS. YOU SET ITS SHAPE. WHY DO YOU ALLOW ITS PEOPLE TO WANDER, LOST AND AFRAID? WHY DO YOU ALLOW THE LEGIONS OF THE NIGHT TO ROAM UNDETERRED?" BUT THE MISTS DID NOT ANSWER.

ONCE AGAIN DID EZRA SPEAK. "ALL THINGS HAVE THEIR ROLE IN THE GRAND SCHEME. THE LEGIONS OF THE NIGHT HAVE THEIR PLACE. BUT GUARDIANS AND GUIDES HAVE THEIR ROLES IN TURN." STILL THE MISTS OFFERED NO REPLY.

FOR THE LAST TIME DID EZRA SPEAK. "YOU HAVE FAILED THE GRAND SCHEME. YOU HAVE CREATED A HOLLOW THAT MUST BE FILLED. IF YOU WILL NOT WATCH OVER YOUR PEOPLE, THEN MUST I."

UPON THE THIRD ENTREATY DID THE MISTS OF DEATH REPLY. FROM THE MISTS CAME A VOICE, AND THE VOICE SPOKE, SAYING, "TURN BACK. YOU KNOW NOTHING OF THE GRAND SCHEME. YOU KNOW NOTHING OF THE MISTS. YOU HAVE REACHED THE END OF YOUR WORLD. CONTINUE AND YOU SHALL FIND ONLY YOUR DESTRUCTION, NOTHING MORE."

YET EZRA HELD FAST AGAINST THE MISTS, SAYING, "YOU CANNOT BID ME ENTER, YET I CANNOT TURN AWAY. I OFFER MYSELF TO YOU SO THAT YOU MAY KNOW THE SUFFERING OF MY PEOPLE. IF I MUST BE DESTROYED FOR THEM, THEN THAT IS WHAT MUST BE."

THE MISTS OF DEATH FELL SILENT. THEN THE VOICE SPOKE, ONCE MORE. "ENTER THE MISTS IF YOU MUST, BUT NOT AS YOU ARE. YOUR KIND HAS NO PLACE HERE. TO ENTER THE MISTS, YOU MUST BECOME AS ONE WITH THE MISTS. NEVER AGAIN SHALL YOU LEAVE THEM. WILL YOU FOREVER SACRIFICE YOURSELF TO WATCH OVER THESE FEW MORTALS?"

SPOKE EZRA, "SUCH IS MY ROLE IN THE GRAND SCHEME. SO MUST IT BE."

AND WITH THOSE WORDS DID EZRA BECOME OUR GUARDIAN IN THE MISTS.


Source (http://nolandda.org/rpg/ravenloft/ebook-1.html)

EDIT: Yes, I know Ezra is considered LN official. I just think that's BS based on all the information available on her.

Yeah, this is a thread that I regret participating in :smallfrown:

Whatever, my post didn't even reflect me, I was thinking of the coolest and most OP paladin in the world. There is no way that is me

I'm not a strong paladin anyway, there is no way I would win in a paladin off

Lexible
2016-03-31, 09:59 PM
O-Chul himself would nod in aproval.

Your COWARDLY flight from correcting your misspelling of "approval" IS A SIGN FROM THE GODS that I am THEIR INSTRUMENT OF VENGEANCE upon your EVIL INTENT! DIE DIE DIE!

Lexible
2016-03-31, 10:03 PM
Oh yeah? Well, you fight like a cow!

You mean like this (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LxXjsQbCZR8)?

Darth Paul
2016-04-01, 12:11 AM
Oh yeah? Well, you fight like a cow!

Tell it to the minotaurs.

*changes alignment to Neutral Good, begins profitable career as highwayman and soldier of fortune*

DeliaP
2016-04-01, 06:36 AM
*Paladin of Freedom walks in*

Can you guys stop talking about how "OH SO RIGHTEOUS" you all are and GET BACK TO HELPING PEOPLE. Gods, it's like those poles up your asses reach so far up it's hitting that area in your mind that determines logic.


<Claps> Oh, good show, my brother! A superb impersonation of a self-righteous prig who has missed the whole point because they have no sense of humour. Exactly the sort of mistaken image people have of what paladins should be. Bravo!

<Draws aside to whisper in ear> Just a word of advice, my freind.... you might want to change your, ermm.... slightly outdated image? <looks at:>

a giant sword in the other with a beautiful scantily clad maiden at his side
It does rather call attention to your unusually small..... hands.

8BitNinja
2016-04-01, 09:58 AM
Your COWARDLY flight from correcting your misspelling of "approval" IS A SIGN FROM THE GODS that I am THEIR INSTRUMENT OF VENGEANCE upon your EVIL INTENT! DIE DIE DIE!

Paladin of Vengeance, letting paladins be psychopaths est. 293

grandpheonix
2016-04-01, 11:56 AM
I join this thread, only to acknowledge those that came before me. Without them to pave the way for glory, the rest of us would never know how to be as humble.

MichaelGoldclaw
2016-04-01, 12:23 PM
<Claps> Oh, good show, my brother! A superb impersonation of a self-righteous prig who has missed the whole point because they have no sense of humour. Exactly the sort of mistaken image people have of what paladins should be. Bravo!

<Draws aside to whisper in ear> Just a word of advice, my freind.... you might want to change your, ermm.... slightly outdated image? <looks at:>

It does rather call attention to your unusually small..... hands.

*tips his helmet* Well played. Good to know that pole doesn't stop you all from having fun. Now all I need to see is one of you in a bed with more than one woman or getting drunk worse than a dwarf during a celebration.

John Cribati
2016-04-01, 12:58 PM
Brethren (and sistren), why must we divide ourselves so? Whether upon the honor of our god(s) or for the freedom all should be afforded, is our purpose not the same? Do we not humbly serve for the greater Good? To protect those that cannot protect themselves, and to fight against the evil that threatens to overrun them? And even to show mercy to the Evil where we can, and give them the chance to turn from their wicked ways?

Can we not worth together and male the world a better place?

KorvinStarmast
2016-04-01, 12:59 PM
But on the other hand, THERE IS NO SUCH THING AS A CHAOTIC GOOD PALADIN I'd like to invite you to D&D 5th edition and the Oath of the Ancients Paladin. If ever there was a way to build a CG Paladin ...

DeliaP
2016-04-01, 01:20 PM
*tips his helmet* Well played. Good to know that pole doesn't stop you all from having fun. Now all I need to see is one of you in a bed with more than one woman or getting drunk worse than a dwarf during a celebration.

Well, if you check War & XPs, Strip 314a (I believe you can go buy a digital version right now ;-) ) you can see close to both in the very first panel.

8BitNinja
2016-04-01, 01:30 PM
I'd like to invite you to D&D 5th edition and the Oath of the Ancients Paladin. If ever there was a way to build a CG Paladin ...

I know, it was a joke

MichaelGoldclaw
2016-04-01, 03:26 PM
Brethren (and sistren), why must we divide ourselves so? Whether upon the honor of our god(s) or for the freedom all should be afforded, is our purpose not the same? Do we not humbly serve for the greater Good? To protect those that cannot protect themselves, and to fight against the evil that threatens to overrun them? And even to show mercy to the Evil where we can, and give them the chance to turn from their wicked ways?

Can we not worth together and male the world a better place?

Hey, I was trying to do some good there. As it turns out, you traditional paladins do know how to have fun, so I'll go back to killing tyrants and having non-stop parties. No elegant speeches or anything, just good old fashioned heroism.

YeOldeGrandma
2016-04-01, 04:58 PM
The carnal vices hold no allure for me; neither should it be allowed to cloud your judgement. Only through chastity, through purity, will one's mind retain the clarity needed to combat the evils of the world.

United we may be in our quest, and yet I frown upon the feebleness of your character...

MichaelGoldclaw
2016-04-01, 05:19 PM
The carnal vices hold no allure for me; neither should it be allowed to cloud your judgement. Only through chastity, through purity, will one's mind retain the clarity needed to combat the evils of the world.

United we may be in our quest, and yet I frown upon the feebleness of your character...

You see... this is what I mean. "Feebleness?" Those happy times with others reminds me of what I'm fighting for. All the time I spend immersed in pleasure with others, I remember it's these times I try to keep alive. It's people like them I'm fighting for. Clarity of the mind? I prefer clarity of the heart. I'm not calm, I'm fierce. People don't get **** done because they're pondering if it's a good idea to do something. They get **** done by DOING SOMETHING! It's your kind that needs to lighten up. So live a little and get off that pedestal because only by getting to know the common man whom just wants to live his life to the fullest that you truly know who you fight for.

YeOldeGrandma
2016-04-01, 05:41 PM
You mistake me, ser.

My heart is as fierce as yours. I have sense of purpose, and it drives me onwards, to battle whatever injustice or peril that may threaten our world. But I do not look to the common man for inspiration, for he is but a simple oaf, ignorant of the thruths of the cosmos.

These truths are that life is a war, and war is cruel. Focus on your task, to the exclusion of all else, lest you be distracted. Know that your life will forever be separate from that of the common man.

For you are his protector. You are fighting a war. And war is not a song.


#MikoWasAlright

DeliaP
2016-04-01, 06:12 PM
The carnal vices hold no allure for me; neither should it be allowed to cloud your judgement. Only through chastity, through purity, will one's mind retain the clarity needed to combat the evils of the world.

United we may be in our quest, and yet I frown upon the feebleness of your character...

Forgive my impertinent questions, but your words confuse my untutored ears. I have understood that there are some Orders who follow paths that choose to abstain from some enjoyments, as they believe this gives them focus. Some even include acts of physical love, I have been told. I am told by those who have studied the myriad worlds, that the word "chastity" is often used to refer to this, on those worlds where such practices are known.

Well, it is not my place to criticize the means you believe can give you weapons to fight evil, in your world. Each of us will gladly make what sacrifices we deem necessary, I am sure.

But what is this phrase "carnal vice"? It seems to imply a physical act that is evil. But you then use this strange word "chastity". Surely you cannot mean by this that you consider an act of love to be evil? Such an idea surpasses all reason! And when you seem to abjure all others from so expressing their love, I find myself wondering.... you aren't a Paladin of Tyranny by any chance?

MichaelGoldclaw
2016-04-01, 06:26 PM
*chuckles* He's right and another thing. My life is not separate from them. My entire point was that you shouldn't make your life separate from them. All mortal life is created equal. I'm not elevated to a higher position just because I take up a blade and go off to fight evil. Folks need heroes; gives them hope. A hero that spends his life above them is not as inspiring as one that spends his life with them. Why do you think the most inspiring generals are those who fight with his men?

YeOldeGrandma
2016-04-01, 06:48 PM
Forgive my impertinent questions, but your words confuse my untutored ears. I have understood that there are some Orders who follow paths that choose to abstain from some enjoyments, as they believe this gives them focus. Some even include acts of physical love, I have been told. I am told by those who have studied the myriad worlds, that the word "chastity" is often used to refer to this, on those worlds where such practices are known.

Well, it is not my place to criticize the means you believe can give you weapons to fight evil, in your world. Each of us will gladly make what sacrifices we deem necessary, I am sure.

But what is this phrase "carnal vice"? It seems to imply a physical act that is evil. But you then use this strange word "chastity". Surely you cannot mean by this that you consider an act of love to be evil? Such an idea surpasses all reason! And when you seem to abjure all others from so expressing their love, I find myself wondering.... you aren't a Paladin of Tyranny by any chance?

Slander and heresy! I shall enlighten you, for I see that it needs doing.

Those so-called "paladins" of Tyranny are known to be of the Lawful Evil alignment. What this means, and listen well now, is that their goal, their motive, is the pure evil, that which is evil in and of itself.

This translates to tyranny for tyranny's own sake! This translates to murder for murder's own sake! And all of the evil acts one might think of. They embrace them for what they are!

We of the Lawful Good alignment, however, in our strive to combat such Evil, are sometimes forced to employ certain means - even if destructive and bitter they may be. Means such as absolute authority (tyranny, if you will). Means such as the taking of life (murder, if you will). Much like a sharpened sword is best met with another blade, we must employ these means if we wish to triumph.

I warn ye; have no illusions of what needs to be done. Be ruthless, and swift in righteous judgement. But remember, always, that the end goal is to protect what's Good - never to cast it into Evil ruin. As Lawful Evil paladins seek to do.

Now, the carnal act of physical desire is not in and of itself Evil. But it is not for The Paladin, for he or she must be free of its control. To let it seep into his or her life would be, in a way, Evil, since it would be a hindrance in the pursuit of what's Good.

This does not hinder the simple oaf from fondling his wife, and thus procuring the children necessary to uphold civilization. As I have said, The Paladin and The Oaf have little in common.

YeOldeGrandma
2016-04-01, 06:51 PM
*chuckles* He's right and another thing. My life is not separate from them. My entire point was that you shouldn't make your life separate from them. All mortal life is created equal. I'm not elevated to a higher position just because I take up a blade and go off to fight evil. Folks need heroes; gives them hope. A hero that spends his life above them is not as inspiring as one that spends his life with them. Why do you think the most inspiring generals are those who fight with his men?

If you are not already elevated, you should seek to elevate yourself. How else will you triumph?

To be a hero, a true hero, one must be better. And though The Oaf may smile and be merry at the sight of His equal, such is foolishness. What is needed is not another Oaf - it is a Paladin.

MichaelGoldclaw
2016-04-01, 07:00 PM
Ah... I've heard this fallacy before. You make sacrifices for the greater good? Let me tell you something. You don't make sacrifices for the greater good, you accept no substitutes for the greatest good. If you are presented with an option to kill one to save one hundred or let one hundred die to not have the blood of one on your hands, you save one hundred AND one. You make your own options. Logic may say that the minority is less than the majority, but it also says the majority is less than the whole.

And you keep calling them oafs? What makes them oafs. I know them better than you do. Let me guess, you come from a place where feudalism is not only the government, but anyone who says a word about democracy is declared a malcontent.

John Cribati
2016-04-01, 07:04 PM
I would object. We may have been called and chosen as servants of higher powers, but we are not those higher powers ourselves. We live in this mortal coil, and we are mortals, no matter what God's we serve. To cast off our mortality is to cast off the very things we must protect.

Granted, if you believe that abstaining from certain pleasures will aid you in in the protection of that which is Good, I will not contradict you. But to impress your code onto another and to say that your way is the only way... that, I cannot call "just."

YeOldeGrandma
2016-04-01, 07:08 PM
I would object. We may have been called and chosen as servants of higher powers, but we are not those higher powers ourselves. We live in this mortal coil, and we are mortals, no matter what God's we serve. To cast off our mortality is to cast off the very things we must protect.
While we are not gods, or their equals, we are cast in their image. That separates us from The Common Oaf.

Granted, if you believe that abstaining from certain pleasures will aid you in in the protection of that which is Good, I will not contradict you. But to impress your code onto another and to say that your way is the only way... that, I cannot call "just."

You are walking along the shore of a lake. You see a small child in the water, drowning. Do you save him? Of course! But what if he fights you off as you try to save him? What if he does not realize his own peril? Do you use your greater strength to overpower him and carry him to safety, or do you let him be?


Let me tell you something. You don't make sacrifices for the greater good, you accept no substitutes for the greatest good. If you are presented with an option to kill one to save one hundred or let one hundred die to not have the blood of one on your hands, you save one hundred AND one. You make your own options. Logic may say that the minority is less than the majority, but it also says the majority is less than the whole.

In a perfect world, such would be a viable option.

In a song, perhaps.

Our war is not a song.

MichaelGoldclaw
2016-04-01, 07:15 PM
In a perfect world, such would be a viable option.

In a song, perhaps.

Our war is not a song.

*chuckles once more* The strive to perfection is an endless treck, but that doesn't mean one shouldn't seek it. After all...


That's the entire point of Paladins.

YeOldeGrandma
2016-04-01, 07:21 PM
Your stubbornness does you credit, ser. I, too, pray only for the day when the battle is won, and the last vestiges of Evil vanquished. But that day will never come if those most suited to bring it about throw their efforts and lives away in vain.

One must be Righteous Fury, yes, but like the soldier on the battlefield, one must also know when to conserve one's strength, lest one succumbs to fatigue halfway through the battle.

MichaelGoldclaw
2016-04-01, 07:25 PM
Then I'm a beserker of the north. I don't stop til the battle is over or til I die. Why, because as you said... I'm stubborn.

John Cribati
2016-04-01, 08:48 PM
You are walking along the shore of a lake. You see a small child in the water, drowning. Do you save him? Of course! But what if he fights you off as you try to save him? What if he does not realize his own peril? Do you use your greater strength to overpower him and carry him to safety, or do you let him be?

In this case, it would be Good to exert physical force to rescue someone, even exerting force upon that person themself.

However, in order to be able to get to him, I must first be able to swim. That would not be a power granted to me by my patron, but one that I had to develop through my own experience.

Furthermore, while I am satisfied to save the drowning boy, many of the more... conservative-minded examplrs of the Paladin would say that, rather than rescue, it would be better to avoid the possibility drowning, not by teaching others to swim, but rather by physically preventing them from entering the lake in the first place!

8BitNinja
2016-04-01, 08:57 PM
I'm glad to see that no evil-aligned entities joined the chat

Now to go right for justice, help the weak, and get little timmy out of that well

Darth Paul
2016-04-01, 10:57 PM
Now to go right for justice, help the weak, and get little timmy out of that well

My friend the Druid says that would be interfering with natural selection.

If he got himself in there, he should be able to get himself out.

Jasdoif
2016-04-01, 11:06 PM
Now to go right for justice, help the weak, and get little timmy out of that wellMy friend the Druid says that would be interfering with natural selection.

If he got himself in there, he should be able to get himself out.No no no, Gravity got Little Timmy in the well. Without Little Timmy's consent!

8BitNinja
2016-04-01, 11:10 PM
My friend the Druid says that would be interfering with natural selection.

If he got himself in there, he should be able to get himself out.

Druid, what are you doing near civilization?

Blue Ghost
2016-04-01, 11:29 PM
It's a good thing I prepared levitate today. One can follow the Lawful Good way so much more effectively when one has arcane power to back up one's ideals.

RatElemental
2016-04-02, 01:23 AM
I'm glad to see that no evil-aligned entities joined the chat

Now to go right for justice, help the weak, and get little timmy out of that well

While I care little for your labels, I will thank you not to overlook me (http://www.giantitp.com/forums/showsinglepost.php?p=20603964&postcount=13).


Slander and heresy! I shall enlighten you, for I see that it needs doing.

Those so-called "paladins" of Tyranny are known to be of the Lawful Evil alignment. What this means, and listen well now, is that their goal, their motive, is the pure evil, that which is evil in and of itself.

This translates to tyranny for tyranny's own sake! This translates to murder for murder's own sake! And all of the evil acts one might think of. They embrace them for what they are!

We of the Lawful Good alignment, however, in our strive to combat such Evil, are sometimes forced to employ certain means - even if destructive and bitter they may be. Means such as absolute authority (tyranny, if you will). Means such as the taking of life (murder, if you will). Much like a sharpened sword is best met with another blade, we must employ these means if we wish to triumph.

I warn ye; have no illusions of what needs to be done. Be ruthless, and swift in righteous judgement. But remember, always, that the end goal is to protect what's Good - never to cast it into Evil ruin. As Lawful Evil paladins seek to do.

Now, the carnal act of physical desire is not in and of itself Evil. But it is not for The Paladin, for he or she must be free of its control. To let it seep into his or her life would be, in a way, Evil, since it would be a hindrance in the pursuit of what's Good.

This does not hinder the simple oaf from fondling his wife, and thus procuring the children necessary to uphold civilization. As I have said, The Paladin and The Oaf have little in common.

You call accuse others of slander and yet don't hesitate to engage in it yourself? We paladins of so called tyranny bring order to the world, and we aren't afraid of doing whatever it takes to do so. The weak deserve to be ruled by the strong. No, they need to be. What else do you expect to enforce your authority with? Platitudes? A stern glare? No! It is strength that cows the masses! It is force that repels the bandits! It is arms that slay the monsters that seek to bring chaos to the world!

DeliaP
2016-04-02, 09:25 AM
...
We of the Lawful Good alignment, ... are sometimes forced to employ certain means .. tyranny, if you will ... murder, if you will ... we must employ these means if we wish to triumph.


Ah, you poor soul, I weep and beg your forgiveness that I have misunderstood your plight. And though my shoulders are not worthy to bear this burden, I must attempt to help you climb from the darkness into which you have fallen.

For though it is true that there are.... warriors... who so dedicate themselves to the defeat of evil, that they seek to use Evil's weapons against itself... and though it may be true that in the short run such... warriors... may achieve some passing success, that does not suffice to make you a paladin.

The path of a paladin is different. A paladin must do better. A paladin must expect more of themselves. A paladin must defeat evil, while holding themselves (woefully short, in the case of such a poor specimen as myself, but continue to keep trying nonetheless) to the highest standard that embody Good itself. Tyranny? Murder? No paladin - of good, at least - could ever espouse such paths, for if they did, they would no longer be a paladin.

Now, I am not sure where this.... delusion.... has set into your mind that you are a paladin. But I am afraid you would need to follow a higher path, to achieve that goal in any world of which I am aware. I am sure you are indeed, a great warrior against Evil, but, my poor soul, that does not make you a paladin.

Perhaps it is this shame and guilt which you have over the natural and joyful expressions of your own body's love for others that has so disordered your mind. That makes you wish to set yourself apart, and above from your fellow man. I can understand how, knowing so little of what it means to be a paladin, that you could, in your confusion, have looked up to us, and seek to identify yourself with us, thinking this would make you better than you are.

But there is still hope for you, my poor soul. I know of an order of Healers than can help you through this confusion of your mind, and this unnatural curse you have laid upon your body. And in time, with their help, you may come to see yourself at one with your fellow man. I believe the traditional starting point, with them, is to start talking about your relationship with your mother....

KorvinStarmast
2016-04-02, 10:31 AM
Druid, what are you doing near civilization?Keeping an eye on the enemy. It's good to collect intel.

John Cribati
2016-04-02, 05:04 PM
Brother DeliaP is correct. There is nothing inherently wrong with enjoying life's pleasures. The comfort of holding a lover in your arms, the satisfaction of a fine meal, and even the heady rush of warmed blood from consuming one or more tankard of ale: these are all Goods that the gods have granted us. The key, of course, is in moderation. Those who seek these pleasures in excess are the ones that stray down the path of evil, the ones that we work tirelessly (and humbly) to either correct or destroy.

Darth Paul
2016-04-02, 09:44 PM
Druid, what are you doing near civilization?

Oddly enough, I asked him the same thing.

He says it's the only place he can get a decent mojito.

ericgrau
2016-04-02, 11:38 PM
Oddly enough, I asked him the same thing.

He says it's the only place he can get a decent mojito.

Friend druid, bring back some good rum and soda water before you depart. Then you may make your own mojitos from the freshest local ingredients without worrying about the complexities of our lifestyle and the vile crime that comes with a densely packed population. I must bear my burden and remain in civilization to bring oily justice to the rust that halts the gears of society.

Now as for that rum, I myself do not partake but I captured 3 pirates yesterday who readily volunteered several recommendations without being asked. I shall escort you to a properly established tavern away from the more seedy quarters. Perhaps there we shall find one of the recommendations, and I will also purchase you a mojito out of my own pocket. To be consumed responsibly of course.

Darth Paul
2016-04-03, 12:49 AM
Properly speaking, humanoids naturally tend to gather in groups, which become larger as time goes by. To insist that cities are somehow "unnatural" is to deny the very nature of humanoids themselves. All creatures that spring from nature behave as comes naturally to them. The city is to humans as the hive is to termites; it is their instinct to produce such a structure. Therefore, a druid should be as at home in the streets of a city, observing the natural behaviors of its inhabitants, as he is in the wildest forest, mountain, or moor.

And I'll have a double, since you offer. Let's make that a pitcher, in fact. And I'll spring for a few packets of those dry roasted almonds, they're just delicious. 100% natural ingredients, too, it says it right there on the label. :smallwink:

8BitNinja
2016-04-03, 01:37 AM
While I care little for your labels, I will thank you not to overlook me (http://www.giantitp.com/forums/showsinglepost.php?p=20603964&postcount=13)

Just to let you know, the link is not working

It might be just me, I'm on my phone right now

8BitNinja
2016-04-03, 01:41 AM
Keeping an eye on the enemy. It's good to collect intel.


Oddly enough, I asked him the same thing.

He's probably the Urban Druid subclass *shudder*

He says it's the only place he can get a decent mojito.

Have you tried Ranger Jerry's Backwoods Bar? One of my personal favorites. Also, it's out in the open.

I don't know if you druids will be offended by the many wall mounts or not

RatElemental
2016-04-03, 01:48 AM
Just to let you know, the link is not working

It might be just me, I'm on my phone right now

Suffice it to say it linked to the first page of this very thread. The thirteenth message posted to it in fact.

Rift_Wolf
2016-04-03, 06:43 AM
I apologise for my lateness, I was too busy saving innocents from the clutches of the Undead and used my good pair of shoes to hammer a stake made out of my best shirt into a Vampire's chest. Then I had to rush as it would've been disrespectful to attend that Vampire's funeral underdressed. I then returned to the forum barefoot as it was my mounts day off.
What's this thread about?

DeliaP
2016-04-03, 06:51 AM
I apologise for my lateness, I was too busy saving innocents from the clutches of the Undead and used my good pair of shoes to hammer a stake made out of my best shirt into a Vampire's chest. Then I had to rush as it would've been disrespectful to attend that Vampire's funeral underdressed. I then returned to the forum barefoot as it was my mounts day off.

<nods in greeting>



What's this thread about?
The best way to get a decent mojito. Personally I'm more a pale ale man.

woweedd
2016-04-03, 01:03 PM
Sadly, my comrades, I do not wish to participate in this event, both because I could never hope to match the heights of true Goodness reached by others here and because such a thing would distract me from the defeat of Evil, which would be Slothful and possibly lead to lives lost on my account, an idea that shakes me to my very core. Needless to say, I will leave to continue the good fight.

DeliaP
2016-04-03, 03:02 PM
Sadly, my comrades, I do not wish to participate in this event, both because I could never hope to match the heights of true Goodness reached by others here and because such a thing would distract me from the defeat of Evil, which would be Slothful and possibly lead to lives lost on my account, an idea that shakes me to my very core. Needless to say, I will leave to continue the good fight.

So, that's a mojito to go, then? Here you go. It has the rum and soda. I'm a bit hazy about the other ingredients - there was a druid who was supposed to be supplying something extra, but I'm not sure where he's got to.

ericgrau
2016-04-03, 06:28 PM
So, that's a mojito to go, then? Here you go. It has the rum and soda. I'm a bit hazy about the other ingredients - there was a druid who was supposed to be supplying something extra, but I'm not sure where he's got to.
Mint, sugar syrup, lime. Tell me you're not out of mint again.

DeliaP
2016-04-03, 06:48 PM
Mint, sugar syrup, lime. Tell me you're not out of mint again.

Ah, right. OK. Not exactly out of the mint... more sort of out of the lime and the sugar syrup.

And the mint. Now that you ask.

Like I said, more of an ale drinker, myself.

<rummages in backpack>

I've some maple syrup here, and a few mintoes? Would that do it?

woweedd
2016-04-03, 08:24 PM
So, that's a mojito to go, then? Here you go. It has the rum and soda. I'm a bit hazy about the other ingredients - there was a druid who was supposed to be supplying something extra, but I'm not sure where he's got to.
I don't want alcohol. I must keep my senses sharp to combat Evil. That said, do you have anything with caffeine?

8BitNinja
2016-04-03, 10:46 PM
Fellow Paladins, I think that we may be damaging ourselves

We are supposed to be noble warriors of faith and righteousness, but humility is a virtue too. Why are we bragging? We never got into the paladin business for fame or glory, we joined to do what's right.

So why are we bragging about ourselves? It's arrogant and vain.

Darth Paul
2016-04-03, 11:21 PM
So, that's a mojito to go, then? Here you go. It has the rum and soda. I'm a bit hazy about the other ingredients - there was a druid who was supposed to be supplying something extra, but I'm not sure where he's got to.

I was out plucking fresh mint leaf, over in the lime tree grove. Nothing but the best for my Paladin friends. :smallsmile:

John Cribati
2016-04-04, 12:05 AM
Fellow Paladins, I think that we may be damaging ourselves

We are supposed to be noble warriors of faith and righteousness, but humility is a virtue too. Why are we bragging? We never got into the paladin business for fame or glory, we joined to do what's right.

So why are we bragging about ourselves? It's arrogant and vain.

For sooth, you misunderstand, brother. We do not simply boat of our god deeds for the Sans of appearing great and powerful in the eyes of man. By sharing tales of our exploits, our dedication, and yes, even our humility, we are providing examples for our brethren to emulate.

DeliaP
2016-04-04, 12:46 AM
So why are we bragging about ourselves? It's arrogant and vain.


By sharing tales of our exploits, our dedication, and yes, even our humility, we are providing examples for our brethren to emulate.

And there I was thinking we were just joking, having a laugh at the uptight humourless image people mistakenly have about us.


I was out plucking fresh mint leaf, over in the lime tree grove. Nothing but the best for my Paladin friends. :smallsmile:

Oh great, thanks! Do you think the maple syrup will be ok? I don't want to get it wrong and serve someone an Evil Mojito by mistake.

DeliaP
2016-04-04, 01:31 AM
I don't want alcohol. I must keep my senses sharp to combat Evil. That said, do you have anything with caffeine?

Espresso, capuccino, latte or flat white?

8BitNinja
2016-04-04, 01:43 AM
For sooth, you misunderstand, brother. We do not simply boat of our god deeds for the Sans of appearing great and powerful in the eyes of man. By sharing tales of our exploits, our dedication, and yes, even our humility, we are providing examples for our brethren to emulate.

I'm sorry for the criticism, I was just making sure that no one here was getting too cocky

For the memory of Jason the Cocky Paladin is burned into my mind, and there is an arrow in his.

KorvinStarmast
2016-04-04, 09:08 AM
It's a good thing that Miko is out of the story at this point, since Miko behaved like a jerk much of the time. With Miko's involvement, this Paladin-off would become a --- :smalleek:

Elystan
2016-04-04, 09:38 AM
Fools, to a man. Blinded by the fog of illusion you are drawn like insects to the light. But this is pollution - the self denial and humility you exercise disguises your truest nature - are you not most your real self when engaged in the act of destruction? To cull the weak and iniquitous is to bring purity to the gods' creation - compassion and mercy are just such weakness. Relinquish the false ideals of your simpering godlings and join me, lest I offer you more practical instruction in the precise nature of your failings. Purity is the absence of light - renounce your heresy or face such terrors as only a vessel of darkness might bring.

8BitNinja
2016-04-04, 09:42 AM
Fools, to a man. Blinded by the fog of illusion you are drawn like insects to the light. But this is pollution - the self denial and humility you exercise disguises your truest nature - are you not most your real self when engaged in the act of destruction? To cull the weak and iniquitous is to bring purity to the gods' creation - compassion and mercy are just such weakness. Relinquish the false ideals of your simpering godlings and join me, lest I offer you more practical instruction in the precise nature of your failings. Purity is the absence of light - renounce your heresy or face such terrors as only a vessel of darkness might bring.

Are you a Blackguard?

Elystan
2016-04-04, 09:50 AM
Are you a Blackguard?

The profane know me by many names. I am the Lightslayer, the Fist of Darkness, the Antipaladin. But you will know me by my deeds.

8BitNinja
2016-04-04, 10:00 AM
The profane know me by many names. I am the Lightslayer, the Fist of Darkness, the Antipaladin. But you will know me by my deeds.

12:00, Town Square, one on one.

You will taste justice, and to evil, it doesn't taste good.

Elystan
2016-04-04, 10:10 AM
Come then, meek servant of the light, and face your undoing

*ambushes you in your pavilion at 11:15 with minions in tow while you're still fitting your armour*

Your 'honour' has betrayed you, noble knight. Only a fool would be brought to battle on the ground of his enemy's choosing. Destroy him my servants - a reward for the one who strikes the killing blow.

DeliaP
2016-04-04, 10:37 AM
*ambushes you in your pavilion at 11:15 with minions in tow while you're still fitting your armour*

.

<As you enter the pavilion with you minions in tow>

Oh, hello there. We were all here just mixing the mojitos for the post-vanquishing celebrations....but if it's a group fight you want, we're *all* happy to join in and bring the celebrations forward.

<the sound of a large number of swords being drawn simultaneously>

Honestly, how many times do we have to tell you: "Good" =\= "Dumb" ?

(and FYI: "while you're still fitting your armour", we're PALADINS. What made you think we'd even taken our armour off?)

RatElemental
2016-04-04, 12:02 PM
Come then, meek servant of the light, and face your undoing

*ambushes you in your pavilion at 11:15 with minions in tow while you're still fitting your armour*

Your 'honour' has betrayed you, noble knight. Only a fool would be brought to battle on the ground of his enemy's choosing. Destroy him my servants - a reward for the one who strikes the killing blow.

As much as I loathe the simpering fools who cling to their ideals, those who seek to bring chaos such as yourself are a far greater annoyance. We will show you the power of the law, and the strength by which those with authority hold it. You will fall in line or be destroyed.

8BitNinja
2016-04-04, 01:20 PM
Come then, meek servant of the light, and face your undoing

*ambushes you in your pavilion at 11:15 with minions in tow while you're still fitting your armour*

Your 'honour' has betrayed you, noble knight. Only a fool would be brought to battle on the ground of his enemy's choosing. Destroy him my servants - a reward for the one who strikes the killing blow.

You prematurely made the ambush, I started riding in at 11:45

Besides, I always wear my armor, and I don't travel alone

looks like we'll be fighting this duel early

DeliaP
2016-04-04, 02:25 PM
<Tilts head to one side, while wiping minion blood off blade>

Ah, I think I hear Brother 8BitNinja arriving. So, Mr Lightslayer, it appears you have a choice to make.

<Squeezes a twist of lemon into cocktail glass containing rum and soda water.>

You can drop to your knees, repent your crimes, and beg for the forgiveness and mercy you have professed to despise...

<Adds a few delicately crushed fresh mint leaves to the mix.>

You could despair of outlasting your shame and throw yourself to your death on the mighty swords of my comrades here.... although I confess they may not wish to dishonour their blades with your foul blood, and may simply choose to beat you into submission with the flat side of their weapons....

<Pours out some maple syrup and swirls it around.>

Or you could show that you are at least not a complete craven, and go outside to meet your just doom at the hands of Brother 8BitNinja.

<Holds out the cocktail glass.>

While you're deciding, could you tell me what you think of my mojito?

woweedd
2016-04-04, 02:37 PM
Espresso, capuccino, latte or flat white?
I'll have an Espresso, extra milk and sugar.

8BitNinja
2016-04-04, 05:09 PM
<Tilts head to one side, while wiping minion blood off blade>

Ah, I think I hear Brother 8BitNinja arriving. So, Mr Lightslayer, it appears you have a choice to make.

<Squeezes a twist of lemon into cocktail glass containing rum and soda water.>

You can drop to your knees, repent your crimes, and beg for the forgiveness and mercy you have professed to despise...

<Adds a few delicately crushed fresh mint leaves to the mix.>

You could despair of outlasting your shame and throw yourself to your death on the mighty swords of my comrades here.... although I confess they may not wish to dishonour their blades with your foul blood, and may simply choose to beat you into submission with the flat side of their weapons....

<Pours out some maple syrup and swirls it around.>

Or you could show that you are at least not a complete craven, and go outside to meet your just doom at the hands of Brother 8BitNinja.

<Holds out the cocktail glass.>

While you're deciding, could you tell me what you think of my mojito?

Thank you, Brother DeliaP, you really know how to make a good first impression on the enemy.

If only I knew how to put my charisma to better use

Elystan
2016-04-04, 05:46 PM
<Tilts head to one side, while wiping minion blood off blade>

Ah, I think I hear Brother 8BitNinja arriving. So, Mr Lightslayer, it appears you have a choice to make.

<Squeezes a twist of lemon into cocktail glass containing rum and soda water.>

You can drop to your knees, repent your crimes, and beg for the forgiveness and mercy you have professed to despise...

<Adds a few delicately crushed fresh mint leaves to the mix.>

You could despair of outlasting your shame and throw yourself to your death on the mighty swords of my comrades here.... although I confess they may not wish to dishonour their blades with your foul blood, and may simply choose to beat you into submission with the flat side of their weapons....

<Pours out some maple syrup and swirls it around.>

Or you could show that you are at least not a complete craven, and go outside to meet your just doom at the hands of Brother 8BitNinja.

<Holds out the cocktail glass.>

While you're deciding, could you tell me what you think of my mojito?

*sips the mojito*

A fine beverage. Now, before your numbers overwhelm me, allow me to say "teleport"

8BitNinja
2016-04-04, 05:56 PM
*sips the mojito*

A fine beverage. Now, before your numbers overwhelm me, allow me to say "teleport"

"What did that do?"

<Gets off horse and puts away lance, draws sword>

"Shall we begin? Make sure you didn't put bubonic plague or poison on your blade, oh wait, I'm immune"

<raises shield>

"It's you against me, no one else is fighting you, looks like you're not so menacing if you're going to teleport away, it was a nice lie though"

DeliaP
2016-04-04, 06:17 PM
I'll have an Espresso, extra milk and sugar.

Sorry for the delay there, got a bit distracted (you know, I really don't think I got that mojito right).

Espresso with extra milk? Erm... we must be from different Orders. Where I learned my ranks in Profession (Barista), an espresso is served short and black. Maybe a latte - espresso plus steamed milk, more milk than froth (unlike a capuccino, more froth than milk)?

Popcorn?

Jasdoif
2016-04-04, 06:43 PM
Popcorn?Popcorn, this CG warlock/cleric can help out with. Today I brought a large batch of the oregano-and-parmesan-cheese-topped popcorn variety, popped in olive oil and finished with a negligible sprinkling of celery salt to bring out that savory herb flavor. Why, I think there's even enough here to accommodate all these unexpected visitors, who keep saying they're "minions" for some reason.

woweedd
2016-04-04, 07:54 PM
Sorry for the delay there, got a bit distracted (you know, I really don't think I got that mojito right).

Espresso with extra milk? Erm... we must be from different Orders. Where I learned my ranks in Profession (Barista), an espresso is served short and black. Maybe a latte - espresso plus steamed milk, more milk than froth (unlike a capuccino, more froth than milk)?

Popcorn?
Yes to both. Sorry for the delay myself. A town my order was near was being menaced by some (thankfully minor) Demons. I destroyed them.

woweedd
2016-04-04, 07:58 PM
Popcorn, this CG warlock/cleric can help out with. Today I brought a large batch of the oregano-and-parmesan-cheese-topped popcorn variety, popped in olive oil and finished with a negligible sprinkling of celery salt to bring out that savory herb flavor. Why, I think there's even enough here to accommodate all these unexpected visitors, who keep saying they're "minions" for some reason.
Warlock, eh? Met some Warlocks, never much liked them but i'll help any Good person. I never was much concerned on Law and Chaos. If it's Good, it's fine by me. Always did veer close to the Neutral end of Lawful but I haven't lost my powers yet.

DeliaP
2016-04-04, 08:04 PM
Sorry for the delay there, got a bit distracted (you know, I really don't think I got that mojito right).

Espresso with extra milk? Erm... we must be from different Orders. Where I learned my ranks in Profession (Barista), an espresso is served short and black. Maybe a latte - espresso plus steamed milk, more milk than froth (unlike a capuccino, more froth than milk)?

Popcorn?

Yes to both. Sorry for the delay myself. A town my order was near was being menaced by some (thankfully minor) Demons. I destroyed them.

Nice. Ever tried a flat white? It's a bit like a latte but the milk is more finely steamed, poured from the bottom of the jug without the froth on top. Makes for a smooth, velvety texture. Oh, I should have asked: skim, semi-skim or full fat?

woweedd
2016-04-04, 08:10 PM
Nice. Ever tried a flat white? It's a bit like a latte but the milk is more finely steamed, poured from the bottom of the jug without the froth on top. Makes for a smooth, velvety texture. Oh, I should have asked: skim, semi-skim or full fat?
Skim and, i'm sorry, I never took any ranks in Knowledge(Coffee) so I can't really speak on that.

DeliaP
2016-04-04, 08:27 PM
Skim and, i'm sorry, I never took any ranks in Knowledge(Coffee) so I can't really speak on that.

There you go. Skim latte, with sugar. (You really should check out a flat white one day.) I'll just go check on the popcorn.


Popcorn, this CG warlock/cleric can help out with. Today I brought a large batch of the oregano-and-parmesan-cheese-topped popcorn variety, popped in olive oil and finished with a negligible sprinkling of celery salt to bring out that savory herb flavor. Why, I think there's even enough here to accommodate all these unexpected visitors, who keep saying they're "minions" for some reason.

Sounds delicious. Hmm, not sure what to do with these funny yellow minion-creatures, either. They don't detect as Evil, so I think they've just been led astray.

Darth Paul
2016-04-04, 11:47 PM
<arrives flanked by twin dire bears>

Hi, I'm back... I went out to find some purest honey and sugar cane and met a couple new friends along the way.

I see the party got bigger? and bloodier? while I was gone...

Not to worry, I always have plenty of Goodberries at hand. Not only does each berry nourish as if it were a full meal, they also have healing properties and go great in mixed drinks of all kinds. Just pop one in like an olive. Or, we can bake some into muffins to go with your coffee.

8BitNinja
2016-04-05, 09:58 AM
Hey DalaiP, do you have the time to make a cappuccino for a fellow paladin?

If not, I'll make it myself

By the way guys, I took a skill in Brewing, anyone want to try a Holy Water Cocktail? It doubles as a weapon against undead.

Spanish_Paladin
2016-04-05, 07:46 PM
Allow me to ask for your forgiveness my fellow brothers and sisters in the ligth, for i see the foul machinations of evildoers has begun long ago. But fear not (ha!... a joke of course, we are inmune), you can now count on my sword to smite the evil forces and to protect the innocent.

8BitNinja
2016-04-05, 07:49 PM
Allow me to ask for your forgiveness my fellow brothers and sisters in the ligth, for i see the foul machinations of evildoers has begun long ago. But fear not (ha!... a joke of course, we are inmune), you can now count on my sword to smite the evil forces and to protect the innocent.

Welcome fellow paladin, may your shield protect the innocent and your sword smite the wicked.

Rift_Wolf
2016-04-05, 09:05 PM
I have a slightly different outlook to LG/E interactions. By all means, taunt me. Goad and mock and jeer. Wave your sword and beat your chest and Bite your thumb at my morals. But make no mistake; the second you put your money where your mouth is, or if your words hurt another, I will flat out end you.

John Cribati
2016-04-05, 10:04 PM
But fear not (ha!... a joke of course, we are inmune)

Begging your lardom, brother, but some of us choose to do battle with fear every day, knowing that, though we have fear, we do not let it rule us. Instead, we enjoy immunity to Compulsion effects, allowing us the peace of mind in knowing that our actions are our own.

Darth Paul
2016-04-05, 10:45 PM
I have a slightly different outlook to LG/E interactions. By all means, taunt me. Goad and mock and jeer. Wave your sword and beat your chest and Bite your thumb at my morals. But make no mistake; the second you put your money where your mouth is, or if your words hurt another, I will flat out end you.

It's getting pretty heavy around here. How about everyone just have a fresh-baked muffin and your choice of beverage, sit down around the campfire, and work out your alignment differences peacefully.

Or else, the first one to break the calm and stillness of this lovely glade can end up as bear feces. Doesn't matter to me either way. :smallamused:

woweedd
2016-04-06, 12:34 AM
I have a slightly different outlook to LG/E interactions. By all means, taunt me. Goad and mock and jeer. Wave your sword and beat your chest and Bite your thumb at my morals. But make no mistake; the second you put your money where your mouth is, or if your words hurt another, I will flat out end you.
Elaborate. I'm always up for a good debate.

8BitNinja
2016-04-06, 12:36 AM
It's getting pretty heavy around here. How about everyone just have a fresh-baked muffin and your choice of beverage, sit down around the campfire, and work out your alignment differences peacefully.

Or else, the first one to break the calm and stillness of this lovely glade can end up as bear feces. Doesn't matter to me either way. :smallamused:

Did you say muffins?

Darth Paul
2016-04-06, 09:35 AM
Muffins make everything better. :smallsmile:

8BitNinja
2016-04-06, 09:48 AM
Do you have any chocolate chunk muffins?

Those are my favorite

Also, I brought a full ice-chest of Mountain Dew to the pally party, so if you guys want some, help yourself.

Darth Paul
2016-04-06, 12:22 PM
My Wisdom tells me that a bunch of Paladins, revved up on Mountain Dew and chocolate, may not be the best idea ever in the history of the multiverse.

Can I tempt you to some fresh berry muffins instead?

8BitNinja
2016-04-06, 01:38 PM
My Wisdom tells me that a bunch of Paladins, revved up on Mountain Dew and chocolate, may not be the best idea ever in the history of the multiverse.

Can I tempt you to some fresh berry muffins instead?

I once gave a bunch of Mountain Dew to the young pages at a local school for paladins. The kids got crazy and smote an entire goblin cave that was down the street.

If a bunch of pages can take out a horde of goblins on mountain dew, why would it be bad for mature, responsible adults?

Jasdoif
2016-04-06, 02:00 PM
I once gave a bunch of Mountain Dew to the young pages at a local school for paladins. The kids got crazy and smote an entire goblin cave that was down the street.

If a bunch of pages can take out a horde of goblins on mountain dew, why would it be bad for mature, responsible adults?"Because their smiter was on Mountain Dew" seems a particularly un-paladinish reason for any number of goblins to be smotten.

John Cribati
2016-04-06, 02:07 PM
I once gave a bunch of Mountain Dew to the young pages at a local school for paladins. The kids got crazy and smote an entire goblin cave that was down the street.

If a bunch of pages can take out a horde of goblins on mountain dew, why would it be bad for mature, responsible adults?

But suppose one or more of those goblins would have come peacefully? Or, even, decided to give up his evil ways? These pages had no doubt wiped out families, and children.

8BitNinja
2016-04-06, 02:18 PM
But suppose one or more of those goblins would have come peacefully? Or, even, decided to give up his evil ways? These pages had no doubt wiped out families, and children.

Yes, but they were goblin bandits, and they they were already a nuisance to the town

Pyrous
2016-04-06, 03:20 PM
If a bunch of pages can take out a horde of goblins on mountain dew, why would it be bad for mature, responsible adults?

Ask Redcloak.

8BitNinja
2016-04-06, 04:46 PM
Ask Redcloak.

I tried that once, he didn't want to talk to me

Rift_Wolf
2016-04-06, 05:43 PM
It's getting pretty heavy around here. How about everyone just have a fresh-baked muffin and your choice of beverage, sit down around the campfire, and work out your alignment differences peacefully.

Or else, the first one to break the calm and stillness of this lovely glade can end up as bear feces. Doesn't matter to me either way. :smallamused:

*breaks serious face*
Muffins and Druids! Yaaaaay...
(have no idea where that last post came from, btw. I'm NG benign most of the time.)

8BitNinja
2016-04-06, 05:45 PM
Druid, what do you know about the battle between good and evil? You haven't been on either side

Rift_Wolf
2016-04-06, 05:46 PM
Yes, but they were goblin bandits, and they they were already a nuisance to the town

I did once play a Paladin who specialised in nonlethal damage and carried a satchel filled with explanatory pamphlets in several languages explaining how my victory clearly meant my god was worth converting to.

8BitNinja
2016-04-06, 07:41 PM
I did once play a Paladin who specialised in nonlethal damage and carried a satchel filled with explanatory pamphlets in several languages explaining how my victory clearly meant my god was worth converting to.

Was your battlecry "You heathens will learn the ways of (Diety Name), or fear the wrath of His servant, Sir Nightstick!"?

eru001
2016-04-06, 07:58 PM
The path of duty is oft a rocky one, made smoother by service to others. So here I stand to serve to all of you a proper demonstration of righteousness. A paladin is not just the light in the darkness, he is the light that ends the darkness. A paladin is that blessed individual who not only does not fear to gaze into the abyss for as long as is needed, but whom shines so brightly that the abyss itself is changed by such an outpouring of light and good. So come comrades, let us march on, with courage and honor, to right wrongs and aid all those in need. Let us go forwards against the darkness and never turn from the path. Let us remember. In peace vigilance, in war courage, in victory mercy.

8BitNinja
2016-04-06, 09:35 PM
The path of duty is oft a rocky one, made smoother by service to others. So here I stand to serve to all of you a proper demonstration of righteousness. A paladin is not just the light in the darkness, he is the light that ends the darkness. A paladin is that blessed individual who not only does not fear to gaze into the abyss for as long as is needed, but whom shines so brightly that the abyss itself is changed by such an outpouring of light and good. So come comrades, let us march on, with courage and honor, to right wrongs and aid all those in need. Let us go forwards against the darkness and never turn from the path. Let us remember. In peace vigilance, in war courage, in victory mercy.

Now this is a paladin I can ride into battle with :smallsmile:

Darth Paul
2016-04-06, 11:24 PM
Druid, what do you know about the battle between good and evil? You haven't been on either side

You assume a great deal, my friend.

No doubt you've heard of the epic clash in Cliffport recently involving a Neutral Evil Druid on one side? Surely you understand, then, that Neutrality is only one facet of a druid's alignment.

Certainly, some choose to follow a middle path between all alignments, believing that good and evil, law and chaos form natural pairs of opposites which complement one another... while others (wrongly) believe that nature's neutrality finds expression in the form of a cruel world, where the strong prey pitilessly on those weaker than themselves.

I myself find that nature is often chaotic, yet within that chaos may be detected subtle patterns hinting at laws more complex than mere mortals may comprehend; this tension between chaos and law may be called "neutral". And yet I believe that nature is, overall, inherently good; nature has given us the ability to cooperate as well as compete, and it is this gift which has made humanoids dominant over almost every species in the world.

As a Neutral Good Druid, I protect the natural world from those who would abuse and exploit it; and I also see it as my duty to remove the threat of unnatural creatures which might disturb the natural order. Last, I join you in defending those who can't defend themselves; for natural selection works in mysterious ways, and "survival of the fittest" may include those who are wise enough to find a Paladin or a Druid to assist them in their hour of need.

I trust, my friend, that this explanation has made sufficiently clear that, although I am not bound to Man's law nor to your god, nonetheless I serve the cause of Good as you do; and I look forward one day to my scimitar flashing alongside your sword in a righteous cause.

Muffin?

8BitNinja
2016-04-07, 12:18 AM
You assume a great deal, my friend.

No doubt you've heard of the epic clash in Cliffport recently involving a Neutral Evil Druid on one side? Surely you understand, then, that Neutrality is only one facet of a druid's alignment.

Certainly, some choose to follow a middle path between all alignments, believing that good and evil, law and chaos form natural pairs of opposites which complement one another... while others (wrongly) believe that nature's neutrality finds expression in the form of a cruel world, where the strong prey pitilessly on those weaker than themselves.

I myself find that nature is often chaotic, yet within that chaos may be detected subtle patterns hinting at laws more complex than mere mortals may comprehend; this tension between chaos and law may be called "neutral". And yet I believe that nature is, overall, inherently good; nature has given us the ability to cooperate as well as compete, and it is this gift which has made humanoids dominant over almost every species in the world.

As a Neutral Good Druid, I protect the natural world from those who would abuse and exploit it; and I also see it as my duty to remove the threat of unnatural creatures which might disturb the natural order. Last, I join you in defending those who can't defend themselves; for natural selection works in mysterious ways, and "survival of the fittest" may include those who are wise enough to find a Paladin or a Druid to assist them in their hour of need.

I trust, my friend, that this explanation has made sufficiently clear that, although I am not bound to Man's law nor to your god, nonetheless I serve the cause of Good as you do; and I look forward one day to my scimitar flashing alongside your sword in a righteous cause.

Muffin?

That makes sense now, sorry for the assuming. I'll take a muffin

Darth Paul
2016-04-07, 01:15 AM
Knowing they're your favorite, I sent out for chocolate chunk. Enjoy. :smallwink:

8BitNinja
2016-04-07, 09:40 AM
Knowing they're your favorite, I sent out for chocolate chunk. Enjoy. :smallwink:

Thanks, can I get you anything? I managed to put an ice-chest and minibar in a bag of holding and I brought it here with me.

Esprit15
2016-04-07, 10:15 PM
So much Law and Good, all patting itself on the back... How adorable. All chanting the same cries of altruism and mercy and blind obedience that their progenitors did in life, all of which fall flat when you apply a more critical lense.

'Why slay Evil?' one might ask, to which the paladins cheer in unison "Because we must be the light that ends the darkness!" A cute mantra to parrot, and yet not only do you fail to change the darkness, but you fail to even extinguish it. The 'darkness' as you call it, is composed of living, breathing, self aware creatures as yourselves, of the same races. If Evil were so bad, so vile, so abhorrent as you claim, then I ask you a question: Explain me. Why would a creature, of your blood, of your flesh, knowing everything that you do, say 'No, you can keep that kindness and generosity to yourself.' Is it because you simply follow the path laid before you, too afraid to waiver while young and too set in your ways while adults, that the thought never occurred to you that there might be other outlooks worth considering? It is the mark of an educated mind to entertain an idea without accepting it, but the wiser mind knows when they were wrong, and changes given new information. Who among you has truly tried to know thy enemy? Who has stopped to think about why what you are doing is right? Why should the strong protect the weak? Why should the laws of those who have the least to lose be followed? What strength is there in order when its only purpose is to ensure that those at the top can stay at the top?

You follow the carrot on the stick, having forgotten the whip that brought you into line long ago. You repeat the same words of your ancestors as though it gives you strength, but what strength did it give them? They died long ago. You tell yourself that all you do is for the greater good, but whose good?

You're not Good, you're obedient. Don't delude yourself otherwise.

Because sometimes, you just gotta go Paladin of Slaughter.

Blue Ghost
2016-04-07, 11:33 PM
Such is the blindness of the dark that it sees what it wishes to see, in accord with the fevered delusions of a darkened soul. The path of Law and Good has never been one of blind obedience. It has been hammered out by millennia of men and gods working in unison to carve a road in the wilderness of chaos. We are constantly besieged by the darkness without and corruption within, and never can we afford to close our eyes, lest we lose sight of the light of righteousness in the ever-shifting shadows. Many times have we been led astray, and each time we have found the light again, stronger and brighter than before. Within the light is harmony and peace, where all people can live in safety and freedom, without fear of the thief who seeks to destroy, or the tyrant who seeks to dominate. Hear the song of millions who have been raised out of darkness and death into light and life. See our dance, halting and unsure at times, but always in beautiful unison.

You who fight for Chaos and Evil, do you claim to have a better way? Is this what you call freedom? Being driven by your animal nature to steal and kill to feed the unquenchable flames of greed and lust? Knowing that someday you will meet one more powerful than yourself, and that then you will be destroyed as you destroyed others? In the end, what have you to show? Join us in the dance, and you can be something far greater than what you can make yourself.

8BitNinja
2016-04-07, 11:57 PM
If law and good is a path of blind obidence, then why must we go on the path of persecution and pain? If it is just obidence, we should be free from opression.

Let me tell you, the life of a paladin is not just a clash of swords, but a clash of morals and values. The battle of a paladin is a battle where we have the unpopular opinion. Sometimes people see us as old fashioned and we need to get with the times. Others say we should just embrace darkness. Yet others say that we are facists putting others under religious oppression.

But know this, no matter what you say, what you do, or what you think. We will draw our blades against the evil that permeates throughout the world, our shields will be there to protect those who cannot protect themselves. Our hands will be ones of healing and not harming. Our voices will be a message of hope. Until evil is utterly destroyed, we will not stop fighting, no matter the consequences, no matter the odds.

Esprit15
2016-04-08, 12:08 AM
And why do you have fighting from within? Why do those who claim to be so enlightened, men and women just like you, turn their backs on everything you hold dear? Did they learn something you have yet to?You speak on behalf of millions, yet millions have also seen the flaws in your view - some enlightened, some savage, but all aware of the one law that ultimately rules everything: the strong survive, and the weak die.

I offer no 'way.' There you go again, speaking for your enemies yet not understanding them. Such is an idea that those beholden to an order think must underlie every philosophy, some ultimate 'way.' If I die, it is because I was weak. Permanence is something for those who fear death. A storm is beautiful not because it lasts forever, not because it has a lasting impact, but because in the brief moments that it exists, it can destroy that which has taken weeks, months, years to make, in an instant. It reminds us how fleeting our own lives are, that they can be snuffed out in but a moment. And then it too is gone, just as everything eventually dies. It's one of those laws of the universe, it would seem. To deny that is to deny reality.

My freedom is to live every day to its fullest, unbeholden to others. Maybe with friends, maybe alone, but always knowing that every choice was made by me, for me.

Darth Paul
2016-04-08, 01:30 AM
"The strong survive and the weak die," you say, my dear Esprit? Yet my observations of the world do not bear this out. The dragon is far stronger than any man, dwarf, or elf... yet we slay them regularly. A pack of hunting lionesses may bring down the mightiest elephant, though it is stronger than any of them individually. Yet any of these hunters may be put to death by a mere virus.

The paladins do not seek permanence, as you mistakenly think. But they do fight to preserve and defend their civilization. This is only natural. It is the way of all social animals to form communities and organize defense against aggressors. Your defiance of this is in a way a protest against your own nature.

Certainly, there is destruction in nature- but to glorify it to the exclusion of all else is at best misguided, at worst perverse. How can you know of the storm, but not know of the calm? If you revel only in chaos, then you are as lacking in perspective as you claim your opposite numbers are. "Freedom to live, unbeholden to others"? There is no such thing. Whether you perceive it or not, a web of life connects you with every other living thing. You are beholden to the very plants and animals that provide you sustenance; and after your death, the grasses will feed from you.

Permanent delight is the only appropriate attitude with which to experience the world; delight and gratitude that you have experienced another sunrise.

In that spirit, 88BitNinja, if you have the makings of a Bloody Mary, I would be delighted and grateful if you could pour one. If not, a simple whiskey with a beer back will suffice.

8BitNinja
2016-04-08, 01:49 AM
And why do you have fighting from within? Why do those who claim to be so enlightened, men and women just like you, turn their backs on everything you hold dear? Did they learn something you have yet to?You speak on behalf of millions, yet millions have also seen the flaws in your view - some enlightened, some savage, but all aware of the one law that ultimately rules everything: the strong survive, and the weak die.

I offer no 'way.' There you go again, speaking for your enemies yet not understanding them. Such is an idea that those beholden to an order think must underlie every philosophy, some ultimate 'way.' If I die, it is because I was weak. Permanence is something for those who fear death. A storm is beautiful not because it lasts forever, not because it has a lasting impact, but because in the brief moments that it exists, it can destroy that which has taken weeks, months, years to make, in an instant. It reminds us how fleeting our own lives are, that they can be snuffed out in but a moment. And then it too is gone, just as everything eventually dies. It's one of those laws of the universe, it would seem. To deny that is to deny reality.

My freedom is to live every day to its fullest, unbeholden to others. Maybe with friends, maybe alone, but always knowing that every choice was made by me, for me.

First off, we have fighting from within because we are human. None of us are perfect. Even as a paragon, we still have our own flaws. None of us claim to be perfect, nor have any of us achieved any Nirvana or transcended human nature.

So you believe that all who are weaker than others should die? Forget others calling paladins supremacists, this is an idea that is corrupting nature and twisting it for evil. Yes, with animals, the weak die off. But as a paladin, we are different. We don't just protect those who can fend for themselves, they don't need protection. We protect those who will die without help. It makes us more than just animals.

I have nothing against free will, but selfishness is truly the root of evil. If you believe that the only person who should be helped is yourself, fine. Let me know how it goes when you are at the sharp end of a spear and there is no one to help you, not because you were weak, but because you had no one who cared for you, because you didn't care for them.

As for Darth Paul, I've got a Bloody Mary coming right up
*mixes vodka, tomato juice, lemon juice, and various spices*
Here you go

Esprit15
2016-04-08, 01:54 AM
Some do, some do not. Many have tried to kill a dragon, yet history only remembers the few who slay one, forgetting the thousands that such a creature has killed in its life. Do you only seek out the weakest to slay?

If it is against my own nature, then why do one ninth of our kind see the world as I do? If it were against my nature, I should likely not follow it. I don't seek that others follow me. I don't seek to convert you. I simply enjoy reminding the world that they are not always right, that much as they try to paint a picture of me as a violent, impulsive beast, I am not. I am a man, just as you. I have just as much ability to reason, to enjoy a sunset, the same capacity for self-sacrifice. I see why you do the latter of these, and I understand. But I don't do it.

Of course there is a cycle to nature. I accept that I am a part of this cycle, but I have no duty or moral obligation to this cycle. It simply is. I form allies based on mutual respect and goals, not on some thin camaraderie based in living on the same plot of land.

I do delight in the world. I just find my joy differently than you do, and you decide that these actions label me evil.

Darth Paul
2016-04-08, 03:08 AM
I just find my joy differently than you do, and you decide that these actions label me evil.

Did I use that word?

I don't know what actions you have taken. I do know that frequently the evil use Nature as an excuse for their acts, pretending that they have no choice but to follow their "instincts", when they only do their own will.

We are not bound to any programmed pattern, we are self-willed. Of course we have tendencies due to our animal natures, but the choice to follow or rise above those is ours.

<sips Bloody Mary>

Delicious and refreshing. What a lovely day.

I hope nobody insists on spoiling it with a fight to the death, or anything like that...

8BitNinja
2016-04-08, 09:46 AM
Some do, some do not. Many have tried to kill a dragon, yet history only remembers the few who slay one, forgetting the thousands that such a creature has killed in its life. Do you only seek out the weakest to slay?

If it is against my own nature, then why do one ninth of our kind see the world as I do? If it were against my nature, I should likely not follow it. I don't seek that others follow me. I don't seek to convert you. I simply enjoy reminding the world that they are not always right, that much as they try to paint a picture of me as a violent, impulsive beast, I am not. I am a man, just as you. I have just as much ability to reason, to enjoy a sunset, the same capacity for self-sacrifice. I see why you do the latter of these, and I understand. But I don't do it.

Of course there is a cycle to nature. I accept that I am a part of this cycle, but I have no duty or moral obligation to this cycle. It simply is. I form allies based on mutual respect and goals, not on some thin camaraderie based in living on the same plot of land.

I do delight in the world. I just find my joy differently than you do, and you decide that these actions label me evil.

Paladins do not seek to slay. We also do not endorse killing off the weak. Putting words into the mouth of your enemy is something you spoke against. Don't you think that's just a little hypocritical?

Just because your alignment makes up 1/9 of the whole chart does not mean that exactly 1/9 of the population shares that alignment. I say that there is far more evil out there is good. I never said that you were a beast and never wanted too, but it doesn't change the fact that what you do harms others. If the world is so wrong, why don't you fix it, or at least help?

John Cribati
2016-04-08, 02:31 PM
I cannot help but wonder, after some thought... are "Paladins" of Tyranny or Slaughter constrained by a similarly stringent set of behavioral rules? Would one Fall (or would that be Rise?) upon committing an act of Righteousness?

8BitNinja
2016-04-08, 02:33 PM
I cannot help but wonder, after some thought... are "Paladins" of Tyranny or Slaughter constrained by a similarly stringent set of behavioral rules? Would one Fall (or would that be Rise?) upon committing an act of Righteousness?

I personally don't believe that they should even be called paladins, I think that they should be called Blackguards and Antipaladins

John Cribati
2016-04-08, 03:28 PM
I personally don't believe that they should even be called paladins, I think that they should be called Blackguards and Antipaladins

Should I be called something else then, since I value individual freedom over strict obedience to higher authority?

Nay, they are Paladins, because their every action is in service to a cause that they uphold (and their class features are similar enough in execution). They do have the right to practice their beliefs and act as they will, provided they do not infringe upon the rights of others (for example, the right to live).

8BitNinja
2016-04-08, 05:05 PM
Should I be called something else then, since I value individual freedom over strict obedience to higher authority?

Nay, they are Paladins, because their every action is in service to a cause that they uphold (and their class features are similar enough in execution). They do have the right to practice their beliefs and act as they will, provided they do not infringe upon the rights of others (for example, the right to live).

Yes, but they are not exactly a paragon of righteousness

Darth Paul
2016-04-08, 11:19 PM
I can't help but think that there is more Good in the world than Evil.

The majority of interactions between people see them helping, not hurting each other. We cooperate far more than we compete. For the vast majority of beings, the only goal is that their family be raised in peace and tomorrow be the same as today. If not actively Good, they are at the very least Neutral.

As professional adventurers, we see a skewed sample. Naturally, we see more Evil than Good... for we actively seek it out (and it actively seeks us out). By the same token, a Watch officer sees more crime in a week than most citizens see in their lifetime.

I brought more muffins... Blackguards are welcome to them as well, if they'll agree to a truce for these proceedings.

8BitNinja
2016-04-08, 11:40 PM
I can't help but think that there is more Good in the world than Evil.

The majority of interactions between people see them helping, not hurting each other. We cooperate far more than we compete. For the vast majority of beings, the only goal is that their family be raised in peace and tomorrow be the same as today. If not actively Good, they are at the very least Neutral.

As professional adventurers, we see a skewed sample. Naturally, we see more Evil than Good... for we actively seek it out (and it actively seeks us out). By the same token, a Watch officer sees more crime in a week than most citizens see in their lifetime.

I brought more muffins... Blackguards are welcome to them as well, if they'll agree to a truce for these proceedings.

Yes, people band together a lot and cooperate, but is that always a good thing?

Hitler got a lot of people go get along and united them, only to kill 11 million Jews

Blue Ghost
2016-04-08, 11:41 PM
There is definitely a lot of goodness in the world. Most people are kind and peaceful. But living a truly Good life requires going against the grain, dedicating oneself to compassion and self-sacrifice for the sake of all. It is not easy to live up to that, and I find that neutrality is more prevalent than good.

I'll contribute some cookies. They're baked with my secret arcane recipe, and infused with spells of good hope. I hope they bring joy to all. :smallsmile:

Darth Paul
2016-04-09, 12:09 AM
There is definitely a lot of goodness in the world. Most people are kind and peaceful. But living a truly Good life requires going against the grain, dedicating oneself to compassion and self-sacrifice for the sake of all. It is not easy to live up to that, and I find that neutrality is more prevalent than good.

I think you're mistaking Good for Saintly.

Heroic acts of Goodness are rare, I grant you. But there are small acts of kindness and decency everywhere you turn. Simply holding a door or letting someone into a line in front of you qualifies as a Good act. Not everyone has it in them to be a Hero, but almost anyone can do good.

Blue Ghost
2016-04-09, 12:25 AM
With some judicious application of alignment-detecting divine magic, we can determine the prevalence of the alignments in the population empirically. I'm certain that the results will further our understanding of the alignment system and allow us to better serve the cause of Good. Science!

Darth Paul
2016-04-09, 01:13 AM
Singing:

She blinded me with Science!

Science!!

Science!!

OK, no more Bloody Marys for me... when I sing Thomas Dolby songs in public, I'm cut off. That's just the rule.

John Cribati
2016-04-09, 04:48 AM
Thankfully, my Aura of Resolve ensures that I'm always in my right mind, no matter how drunk I am.

Not that I partake enough to become intoxicated, but perhaps if an enemy were to spike my drink...

8BitNinja
2016-04-09, 01:39 PM
You guys are all drunk, someone cast cure poison

Darth Paul
2016-04-09, 06:14 PM
You guys are all drunk, someone cast cure poison

Does that work on alcohol?

Is that how Captain America can never get drunk? Is he immune to poison?

Excelsior!

8BitNinja
2016-04-09, 07:46 PM
Does that work on alcohol?

Is that how Captain America can never get drunk? Is he immune to poison?

Excelsior!

Alcohol technically is poison, it's just that there isn't enough in booze to kill you.

YeOldeGrandma
2016-04-10, 09:20 AM
:xykon: "Follow the bouncing ball, children."

John Cribati
2016-04-10, 12:03 PM
:xykon: "Follow the bouncing ball, children."

You can suck on my Aura of Resolve.

Darth Paul
2016-04-10, 07:36 PM
You may eat my Druidic Will save as well, bonehead.

Btw, Ninja, I recall now that I've been immune to poison since 9th level, so I suppose I just forgot alcohol was on that list. Or else I turned the effect off voluntarily for the sake of fun.

Blue Ghost
2016-04-10, 07:55 PM
Mass mind blank.

I have not let a drop of liquor touch my lips, lest it drain me of my senses and leave me vulnerable to the temptations of the world and my mortal flesh.

That, and I don't like the taste of alcohol anyway. Cookies, anyone?

8BitNinja
2016-04-10, 10:15 PM
Mass mind blank.

I have not let a drop of liquor touch my lips, lest it drain me of my senses and leave me vulnerable to the temptations of the world and my mortal flesh.

That, and I don't like the taste of alcohol anyway. Cookies, anyone?

I personally think alcohol is okay if done in moderation.

Did you say cookies? What kind?

GAAD
2016-04-10, 11:05 PM
My cookies are baked with the tears of orphaned puppies and the laughter of children who just adopted them.
Terribly expensive, unless you harvest them yourself.:smallsmile:

REALLY. How was the harvesting then? Care for a few tips of the trade?

Um well I mean

Funny. I thought for SURE I saw dog tears and laughter on sale at Tharket for $3.99.
Ignore him, he's just trying to look cool. HEY SHALE! LOOK! THERE'S AN ELEMENTAL DRIVE-THINGY OVER THERE!

You mean an elemental Aafi drive? Where?

Ha! And now everyone's staring at you.

Phoenix, we are not paladins by any stretch I don't think we're welcome here...

8BitNinja
2016-04-11, 01:36 PM
My cookies are baked with the tears of orphaned puppies and the laughter of children who just adopted them.
Terribly expensive, unless you harvest them yourself.:smallsmile:

REALLY. How was the harvesting then? Care for a few tips of the trade?

Um well I mean

Funny. I thought for SURE I saw dog tears and laughter on sale at Tharket for $3.99.
Ignore him, he's just trying to look cool. HEY SHALE! LOOK! THERE'S AN ELEMENTAL DRIVE-THINGY OVER THERE!

You mean an elemental Aafi drive? Where?

Ha! And now everyone's staring at you.

Phoenix, we are not paladins by any stretch I don't think we're welcome here...

Once I got cotton candy made with Cyanide and Happiness

Happiness was in it, so I ate four

Blue Ghost
2016-04-11, 02:59 PM
I personally think alcohol is okay if done in moderation.

Did you say cookies? What kind?

Yeah, I have nothing against alcohol either. Was just trying to get in the spirit of the paladin-off.

Butterscotch cookies, infused with good hope. I had a batch of invisibility cookies too, but I don't know where they went...

8BitNinja
2016-04-11, 04:53 PM
Yeah, I have nothing against alcohol either. Was just trying to get in the spirit of the paladin-off.

Butterscotch cookies, infused with good hope. I had a batch of invisibility cookies too, but I don't know where they went...

1. Oh okay

2. I think I might of ate them, but I'm not sure

wait, no, I only ate the 98% invisibility cookies, that should've been really transparent

Darth Paul
2016-04-11, 07:45 PM
Butterscotch cookies, infused with good hope. I had a batch of invisibility cookies too, but I don't know where they went...

Is good hope another name for Demerol? If so, I'll have 6. I had a muscle spasm at work yesterday which messed my back up (IRL).

8BitNinja
2016-04-11, 10:51 PM
Is good hope another name for Demerol? If so, I'll have 6. I had a muscle spasm at work yesterday which messed my back up (IRL).

I'm really sorry about that, are you okay now?

Darth Paul
2016-04-11, 11:04 PM
I'm really sorry about that, are you okay now?

Chiropracter thinks I'll be OK tomorrow by the time I have to go to work, took the day off & been putting ice on it.

UPDATE 12 hours later: she was wrong. Taking another day off, doing stretching exercises & going back in the morning.

8BitNinja
2016-04-12, 01:08 PM
Chiropracter thinks I'll be OK tomorrow by the time I have to go to work, took the day off & been putting ice on it.

UPDATE 12 hours later: she was wrong. Taking another day off, doing stretching exercises & going back in the morning.

Well, I hope you get better, sorry about your back :smallfrown:

Laydralae
2016-04-13, 11:45 PM
Brothers and Sister in the name of all that is holy and good, we should not spend time trying to prove who among is more pious or pure. The purpose of a paladin is to protect the meek and bring justice to the wronged!

8BitNinja
2016-04-14, 01:41 PM
Brothers and Sister in the name of all that is holy and good, we should not spend time trying to prove who among is more pious or pure. The purpose of a paladin is to protect the meek and bring justice to the wronged!

See this, I had the same misconception

http://www.giantitp.com/forums/showsinglepost.php?p=20621619&postcount=83

ericgrau
2016-04-15, 09:00 AM
Ah but in our quests to bring justice, we run the risk of becoming too rigid and inflexible. Or worse, 1 dimensional roleplay characters. For while orderly conduct and the law are the best way to bring good to the world, we are not lawyers, and we must at all times follow the spirit of the law foremost instead of picking at every minor detail. Some levity actually reminds us of the silliness of excessively pious language and behavior, for when we express excessive piousness as a just, we all understand that it is not serious. And in doing so we are actually avoiding it and so avoiding arrogance and legalism. Thus we may focus our attention on more proper behavior and are furthering our holy cause with these games. Let us make no more Mikos.

8BitNinja
2016-04-15, 10:57 AM
Ah but in our quests to bring justice, we run the risk of becoming too rigid and inflexible. Or worse, 1 dimensional roleplay characters. For while orderly conduct and the law are the best way to bring good to the world, we are not lawyers, and we must at all times follow the spirit of the law foremost instead of picking at every minor detail. Some levity actually reminds us of the silliness of excessively pious language and behavior, for when we express excessive piousness as a just, we all understand that it is not serious. And in doing so we are actually avoiding it and so avoiding arrogance and legalism. Thus we may focus our attention on more proper behavior and are furthering our holy cause with these games. Let us make no more Mikos.

About this, I believe that how the law if followed makes the difference between LG and LN

LG follows the spirit of the law, like you said, while LN just follows the letter of the law

ericgrau
2016-04-16, 10:12 AM
I would say legalism to the letter and not spirit of the law is actually a subversion of the law and not law at all. It can be the result of following a different law & order in an attempt to exploit loophole in the other law, or it can be the result of chaos and hating all law, but it is not actually following those particular rules whose spirit is ignored.

8BitNinja
2016-04-17, 04:28 PM
I would say legalism to the letter and not spirit of the law is actually a subversion of the law and not law at all. It can be the result of following a different law & order in an attempt to exploit loophole in the other law, or it can be the result of chaos and hating all law, but it is not actually following those particular rules whose spirit is ignored.

This is why legalism is hypocritical

ericgrau
2016-05-22, 10:49 AM
Lo brethren, I have found a humble cleric to cast resurrection on this thread while it is still on the first page, before darker and unlawful magics are necessary.

8BitNinja
2016-05-22, 11:22 AM
This thread is back?

Wowee