What traits attract you to a person most?

[Amaril]

What are the most important characteristics in making a person attractive to you? Is it a particular physical feature--their eyes, their hair, their build? A certain mannerism that you just love? A personality trait that you consider an absolute prerequisite?

I myself have realized lately that one of the biggest things that draws me to a woman is her voice. I couldn't describe any one type of voice that gets to me, but there's something about certain tones and speech patterns that can make a woman seem unbelievably gorgeous to me when I wouldn't have thought so otherwise. Now I think about it, I sort of feel the same way about movie and video game soundtracks, where a really good score is the biggest difference between a decent work and a great one. I guess I'm just like that.

How about you?

[Jormengand]

Honestly? Just being kind to me. Like seriously, if someone spends a little bit of their time saying I'm beautiful and giving me hugs when I need them, they basically win my love off the bat.

You'd think that would be a kinda low standard, but it really isn't.

[Final Hyena]

There isn't that many things that are overly important above anything else, I value both a persons physicality and mentality. I would have said that I only like long hair, but have found a few that can rock the shorter style. So I suppose the biggest thing for me is that they aren't an ass, just a kind person, to everyone (asses excluded).

[Snark Knight]

Wit and intelligence are the biggest factors for me. There's nothing that I find more attractive than an ordered, educated, inquisitive and introspective mind, with clever turns of phrase and gentle humor.

[2D8HP]

Be convincing in looking like their happy to see me, so good acting ability.

[Traab]

The ability to trade amusing barbs back and forth without giving or taking offense. My whole family is like this so its important that anyone being introduced is able to at least tread water with the flow of conversation. Just as an example of the kind of randomness I deal with, this was a short exchange I had with my mother a year back.

/walking up to me while im on the computer
Mom: "(alternate term for a female dog)"

Me: "No, SON of a (alternate name for a female dog)"

She loved that exchange so much she told basically everyone she knows since it was so perfectly off the cuff. But yeah, you gotta be able to improv responses in a properly snarky manner if you want to be a part of this family. If you cant find amusement in listening to a brother and sister trade yo momma jokes at the dinner table, then you wont fit in well.

[Themrys]

What are the most important characteristics in making a person attractive to you? Is it a particular physical feature--their eyes, their hair, their build? A certain mannerism that you just love? A personality trait that you consider an absolute prerequisite?

I myself have realized lately that one of the biggest things that draws me to a woman is her voice. I couldn't describe any one type of voice that gets to me, but there's something about certain tones and speech patterns that can make a woman seem unbelievably gorgeous to me when I wouldn't have thought so otherwise. Now I think about it, I sort of feel the same way about movie and video game soundtracks, where a really good score is the biggest difference between a decent work and a great one. I guess I'm just like that.

How about you?

Voice, and way of talking is a big one for me, too.

I also like long hair. I guess I must be a Tolkien elf. :smalltongue:

Also, a sense of humour, or more precisely, my sense of humour. People who don't understand my jokes frustrate me, and frustration isn't a good basis for attraction.

[Concrete]

People who can disagree without being hostile and people who are willing to discuss both serious subjects, and hypothetical/fictional questions.
Also people who can talk about more things than themselves.



Also people who can express gracefulness in some way, be it dancing, caligraphy, drawing, making origami, playing an instrument, moving with ease and grace or being able to effortlessly steer a conversation, among many others. What can I say, I like being impressed. But I also like being impressive, and can become irrationally jealous of people more spectacular than myself, which is a flaw on my part.

[Hbgplayer]

I'm a stickler for long brunette hair. Blondes are ok, but my knees get weak for brunettes.
Also, for whatever reason, I prefer shorter women. It's kind of weird, being 6'3" myself, but I have found I'm more attracted to either women under 5'4" or over 5'10, and there are a lot more options for shorter.
The most important trait though? Lack of bitchy-ness. I don't care how attractive you may be, but if you're rude to people, especially people who are serving you or working for you, good-bye.

[Eldariel]

Well, I tend to like certain facial shapes (sleeker, narrower face; eyes of deep, saturated colour; etc.). However the primary thing that tends to affect my company is that...well, I prefer the artistic and the intelligent types, preferably a combination there-of. Musical types and gymnastic types are the kind I tend to get along with great, and particularly other dancers of course since there's so much in common to the hobby even if our brands of dance are so very different. I do enjoy the company of people with some philosophical tint and a capacity for original thought and an interest in the grand questions of existence (such as "What is consciousness?" "What's the nature of reality?" "Why do we exist?"), and of course people that look phenomena beyond the surface layer. Of course, dance is a combination of visual, tactile and auditory: as such, I tend to enjoy art regardless of its channel. Thus I tend to seek likeminded people in this regard as well; someone with whom I could talk about Wagner, Monet, Dostoyevsky or Bizet with equal ease is ideal (even better is one who could introduce me to artistic traditions outside my current sphere of experience).

Still, given the wealth of interests, few people match me in all the categories but that's hardly necessary: as long as a person is knowledgable enough to converse about even one field of art and some general matters of philosophy, and has some interest in gymnastics and music, that's enough to pique my interest. Strongest bonding I do tends to happen through dance though so it'd be really problematic for a prospective partner to not dance at all.

[DJ Yung Crunk]

If they love music, not merely like it, that's a good start.

[Blackhawk748]

I dont have one physical type, really i just want them to be well proportioned. When it comes to personality id like them to be a dork. Yes we will sit in a bar and discuss Anime and DnD, yes we will hurl insults at each other because its funny, yes we will just be plain goofy at times.

In short, i want them to be comfortable with themselves and with me, though i do have to find them physically attractive. However, as i've stated, im not super picky.

[Serpentine]

In terms of "people I might fall in love with", the only criteria really is "ability to ignite that indefinable spark of potential romantic feeling within me". So far only one person has ever fully done that, and a small handful have had the potential to.
Of that handful of people, some of the stand-out traits have been:
- Physical beauty. I like my boys pretty (though I should note that the more I like someone the more physically attractive I tend to find them)
- A way with stories - telling them, sharing them, extracting them from others, finding a story in every stranger they come across
- Kindness and empathy
- Willingness to be silly and ridiculous and have adventures
- Ability to teach me new things without being patronising or making me feel like I'm attending a lecture
- A strong social conscience
- Self-aware self-confidence - being comfortable enough in oneself to make fun of oneself
- Confidence in their own masculinity (comfort cross-dressing, no macho crap, no need to remind everyone how much of A Man they are, etc)
- Ability and willingness to say no to me

Must be willing to share food, must like animals.

[Kalmageddon]

So we are making a list now?

Phisically, I like expressive eyes. Big, luminous eyes that really lure me in.
I actually have no particular tastes in regard to body type, though I tend to stay away from physical extremes. I like round bottoms, does that count?
Voice is another important factor. Probably tied with the eyes as far as importance goes.

But all of this pales in comparison to what I want psychologically.
A good sense of humor is a must. Especially if it's the kind of goofy, self ironic sense of humor of someone that doesn't take herself too seriously.
Geekiness in general is also probably a necessity and I'm not just talking about movies and ttrpgs. I like science, I like museums, documentaries and all those instructive things.
Kinkyness is greatly appreciated, but after having so many non-kinky partners, I guess it's not as big a deal as it once was. But a healthy enjoyment of sex and few inhibitions would be nice.

And then, the most important of all... Which I only recently realized how much I really need.
I need to be with someone that can love. And love without restraints. Not obsessively, not in a "Wow I've known you for 3 months, let's start a family!" way, but simply... You know... Love. I want affection. I want to feel like I matter and that I have someone that cares deeply for me. Someone that wants to give affection.
I know, it sounds fairly pathetic. But that's what several years of casual sex and short relationships have brought me to. I just want to be with someone that loves me unconditionally, as will I.

Sigh...

[Winter_Wolf]

Ooh, do I get to be the shallow guy? I like that! In order, more or less: eyes, butt, bust. I also like tall and muscular (not necessarily "athletic"). Oh, and the parts have to work together. A giant bust with no derrière to match just looks awkward and unbalanced. If I must pick one thing, eyes. It's what I'm likely to spend the most time looking at, and age pretty much murders all other physical features eventually.

[Sgt. Suitable]

I'm attracted to pretty much anyone who brings me a beer without me asking for it. I also enjoy people at lot that bring me beer when I ask for it, but nothing beats a surprise brewski.

[Mightymosy]

What are the most important characteristics in making a person attractive to you? Is it a particular physical feature--their eyes, their hair, their build? A certain mannerism that you just love? A personality trait that you consider an absolute prerequisite?

I myself have realized lately that one of the biggest things that draws me to a woman is her voice. I couldn't describe any one type of voice that gets to me, but there's something about certain tones and speech patterns that can make a woman seem unbelievably gorgeous to me when I wouldn't have thought so otherwise. Now I think about it, I sort of feel the same way about movie and video game soundtracks, where a really good score is the biggest difference between a decent work and a great one. I guess I'm just like that.

How about you?

As for prerequisites, I have two:
1) Long hair. I've never found a girl/woman interesting who had length shorter than her shoulder.
That's just the way I roll.
2) A certain figure. I tend to like the slim type, but not anorectic. Like, B size? I don't know much about female sizes, but I know I have a range that I like.

As for biggest draw?
That's easily the mixture of self-confidence and a certain desire to play (with the world at large, if that makes any sense).

[Jon_Dahl]

I'm a bit weird. Ok, here goes:
- If a woman speaks Portuguese, it's a huge plus.
- Dark hair, brown eyes.
- I like dark skin, but that's secondary.
- I like feminine women, a kind of woman who loves being a woman. I love it!
- Tall women are great. I'm tall so I feel a bit uncomfortable is there's a lot of height difference.
- Curviness is nice. I'm not against overweight women but if I get the feeling, for any given reason, that the woman doesn't really care about her health or just can't be bothered, I find it hard to respect her. Health is the most important thing that we have in life, right after our loved ones. Smoking and eating **** is bad and I'm judgmental like that.

But hey! It's the inside that counts (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vhHcGzlCQFo)! Ok?

[Euclidodese]

-Sense of humour.
-Rationality, basically someone who never answers a question with 'Just cos,' or 'Because that's the way its always been.'
-Must be politically left leaning and atheist/agnostic... That's a sine qua non... We'd just end up falling out otherwise.
-Not too serious... I'm not getting with someone who wears a suit on a weekend.
-Someone I feel safe around, someone who'l look after me.

[Tvtyrant]

For some reason all of my girlfriends have matched the same profile, but if I were to make a "list" none of the traits they share would be on it. I think I may be lying to myself about what I like.

What I actually date:
Attractive, socially outgoing women who are very clingy. Get upset if I don't spend what I would normally consider far too much time together, often where we talk about her social dramas, clothing and past life mistakes.

What I think I should date:
Someone nerdy and reclusive like I am, likes to talk about history, politics and comic books.

[Bulldog Psion]

1. Attractive in some way. Slim to average build, usually; I tend to like women who are individual looking (minor quirk of appearance) to a more "classic" or "generic" look.

2. Dark hair all the way. Usually no interest in blondes.

3. Friendly, positive personality.

4. Some shared interests are nice. :smallbiggrin:

5. Last but definitely not least -- should show signs of interest in me and attraction. :smallbiggrin: There's nothing quite so attractive as someone actually liking you as a person.

[Kalmageddon]

-Sense of humour.
-Rationality, basically someone who never answers a question with 'Just cos,' or 'Because that's the way its always been.'

That's my utopia, right there.
I don't want to date Spock, but since I'm a very rational, very logical and analytical person, I'd love to have someone that can relate on my side. Usually I end up with women that are bothered by it and so I suppress it while in their company.

[danzibr]

Well, I've been with my wife for 12ish years now. So now... anything her.

But I do recall. For me, I always said it was all in the eyes.

[Grinner]

What I think I should date:
Someone nerdy and reclusive like I am, likes to talk about history, politics and comic books.

See, the problem with this is that reclusive people are, by definition, reclusive. Therefore, unless you take the initiative and stop being reclusive, you're not going to make the needed connection. Conversely, outgoing people tend to be outgoing, thus why you end up dating them. :smallwink:

[goto124]

basically someone who never answers a question with 'Just cos,' or 'Because that's the way its always been.'

Do you meet a lot of people IRL who say that sincerely? :smalleek:

[Cyber Punk]

Alright, I'll put in my own two (insert sub-unit of currency here).‎

What attracts me:
-Physical: Lovely big eyes (I'm also attracted to epicanthic folds aka 'asian eyes'), nice-looking lips, round bottoms, round faces, short ladies, ladies that aren't too skinny (plump?). For some reason I prefer a smaller bust size to a bigger one.‎
-Non-physical: We can get along, shares or at least accepts my interests, the 'nerdy' ones and my love for music and computers. Submissive without being subservient. Intelligent.

There's probs more, but this is off the top of my head, and it's entirely possible to date someone you ordinarily wouldn't date, as evidenced by my last girlfriend.‎
‎
Girls I've dated:
-Non-physical is a given, you don't date someone you hate.
-Physical: Lovely eyes, nice lips, non-skinny (plump?), short.‎
My ex is the exception: she's my height, and skinny.‎

[Bobbybobby99]

I'm okay with any physical appearance that seems healthy; I've never found overweight guys particularly attractive. Secondarily, I like tall guys, but that really is secondary.

Primarily, I just want someone that I can have a spirited conversation with and doesn't disagree with me on 'major issues'. People that are actually interested in the sorts of spirited conversation I like (I talk entirely too much about plants) are, admittedly, rare, and so are people that have the sort of intelligence that they can keep up. Having someone about equally intelligent is a major thing.

[ThinkMinty]

It's probably easiest to do this in list form. Not in any particular order.


Likes me. This helps a lot, since I have a hard time liking myself some days.
Cute in the face. Most easily described as "I know it when I see it.". I will let a lot of things go for a pretty face.
Soft Stomach. Feels nice, looks adorable. Fun to bite or feel up. At least muffin top or higher.
Big butt. A nice big booty has some sort of carnal appeal.
Overweight. I like fat chicks. They're just hotter.
Femininity. Femininity is attractive.
Feminism. Gotta love a lady who thinks she's people.
Bisexual, Anywhere between Kinsey 2 and Kinsey 5. Girls that like girls are hot, not sure why exactly, I just like prefer it. Not required, but preferred. Don't fake it.
Kinky. Not required, but preferred.
Cuddlebug. Huggy girls are endearing.
Open. Is willing to communicate without making me guess too much.


I'd say stuff about personalities, but I've been attracted to (and with) ladies with vastly differing personalities, so there isn't a lot of consistency there besides "I liked her personality at the time.". I have dated a lot of shy girls, though, but that might be more of a product of some shy girls being into outspoken loudmouths.

[Blackhawk748]

What I think I should date:
Someone nerdy and reclusive like I am, likes to talk about history, politics and comic books.

We share a list. Mostly cuz im almost positive i couldnt date anyone who isnt a nerd as my house is loaded with gamer and nerdy stuff.

[ThinkMinty]

We share a list. Mostly cuz im almost positive i couldnt date anyone who isnt a nerd as my house is loaded with gamer and nerdy stuff.

There are some non-nerds who are into nerdy people.

[Blackhawk748]

There are some non-nerds who are into nerdy people.

http://stream1.gifsoup.com/view2/1705153/whaaaaat-o.gif

But...but what do they talk about?? I mean if im dating a non nerd they have to understand my Nerd-Speak, which is a combination of DnD and Warhammer lingo, Star Wars, Star Trek, various Fantasy, and Metal references and a fair amount of gaming lingo.

Im seriously starting to believe that Nerd should be a Dialect. :smalltongue:

[ThinkMinty]

But...but what do they talk about?? I mean if im dating a non nerd they have to understand my Nerd-Speak, which is a combination of DnD and Warhammer lingo, Star Wars, Star Trek, various Fantasy, and Metal references and a fair amount of gaming lingo.

Im seriously starting to believe that Nerd should be a Dialect. :smalltongue:

I am very disappointed in the Minions GIF.

You introduce them to nerd stuff, maybe?

Or you talk about other stuff, such as the news, the weather, the dirty things you want to do to eachother...

[Tvtyrant]

See, the problem with this is that reclusive people are, by definition, reclusive. Therefore, unless you take the initiative and stop being reclusive, you're not going to make the needed connection. Conversely, outgoing people tend to be outgoing, thus why you end up dating them. :smallwink:

Hah, this is very true. I am pretty good in a conversation once the ice gets broken, but ahort of yelling "fat penguins" at people I have no idea how to break it myself.

[Blackhawk748]

I am very disappointed in the Minions GIF.

You introduce them to nerd stuff, maybe?

Or you talk about other stuff, such as the news, the weather, the dirty things you want to do to eachother...

Finding a "Whaaaaat?" GIF is harder than it sounds :smalltongue:

So i corrupt them....... MWAHAHAHAHAHA!!

Those first 2 are incredibly boring, the last one however......

[Amaril]

Hah, this is very true. I am pretty good in a conversation once the ice gets broken, but ahort of yelling "fat penguins" at people I have no idea how to break it myself.

Oh man, that's great :smallbiggrin: I'm totally trying it now, at least once. I think a lot of the girls at my school would actually find it funny.

[ThinkMinty]

Oh man, that's great :smallbiggrin: I'm totally trying it now, at least once. I think a lot of the girls at my school would actually find it funny.

Nerds, we're nerds. Talking to girls should be easy. If you don't know how, just watch how other people do it and then do as they do. Apply them nerd skills to grind your conversation skills up to the caliber you want. Spec yourself before you wreck yourself.

Plus girls are people, talking to people isn't hard, so just talk to them like they're people.

[Amaril]

Nerds, we're nerds. Talking to girls should be easy. If you don't know how, just watch how other people do it and then do as they do. Apply them nerd skills to grind your conversation skills up to the caliber you want. Spec yourself before you wreck yourself.

Plus girls are people, talking to people isn't hard, so just talk to them like they're people.

I'm not saying I normally have a hard time talking to girls. I just think it'd be a funny thing to do :smalltongue:

[Giggling Ghast]

Kindness. A good heart. A romantic nature. Dark hair. Voluptuous figure.

[Blackhawk748]

Nerds, we're nerds. Talking to girls should be easy. If you don't know how, just watch how other people do it and then do as they do. Apply them nerd skills to grind your conversation skills up to the caliber you want. Spec yourself before you wreck yourself.

Plus girls are people, talking to people isn't hard, so just talk to them like they're people.

Finally! Someone explains it in terms i can understand :smalltongue:

[Eldariel]

Im seriously starting to believe that Nerd should be a Dialect. :smalltongue:

But nerdspeech is its own lect; whether it's a dialect or rather a sociolect is another matter but certainly something I'd classify as its own way of speaking, more a lect than just a set of special vocabulary. Most subcultures do this, which of course leaves vast variation in individual idiolects since most people have memberships in multiple subcultures.

[goto124]

but ahort of yelling "fat penguins" at people

https://c1.staticflickr.com/7/6205/6051390563_411371570f_b.jpg
http://www.tomgoetz.com/ANZ2006/AusNZ-125.jpg
http://cdni.adventure-life.com/62/50/2/muururyw/fullsize.jpg

[Cyber Punk]

ThinkMinty hit the nail on the head, methinks! One thing people tend to forget, usually leading to them putting the object of their affection on a pedestal.

Also, I think nerdspeak differs from place to place; I don't know anything about DnD.

[RoyVG]

Physical traits: I prefer a little plump figure but I'm completely not turned of by a skinny woman, as long as they don't look a twig. I still prefer larger women in general, and an above average bust and a plump bottom are definitly plusses. Height doesn't really matter, though I prefer women shorter than me over taller (and as a 6 ft 1 dutch male, that is not too difficult). While not purely physical and more a cosmetic thing, I'm attracted to women with glasses. A cute, feminine, face with chubby cheeks can melt me instantly. Overall, physical traits are not as important as non-physical ones, but I think that speaks for itself.

Non-physical traits: I would of course prefer her to be in similar things as me, mostly videogames, and honestly, I won't take anything less than her liking it. I also like independence, but not to the extreme that she wants to do everything herself. Enough to take action, but not enough to always be taking action. Quirky or a little nutty is a great plus because I'm a bit of a nut myself and being able to jsut be crazy together seems like a good fit. A little kinky, while preferred, is not too important. Open-ness and honestly are my two most important virtues and I love to see those back in a women as well. Honestly, I'm also looking for someone to test me, to challenge me and help me get out of my shell.

[the_fennecfox]

For the physical traits that I find most appealing: I like guys with strong jawlines and sharper cheekbones. Another plus for me is somewhat longer hair, nothing past shoulder length though. Additionally, athletic, fit build - however I prefer slightly leaner men over those heavily built.

Personality traits:
-Intelligence. I can't stand idiots.
-For some reason I'm attracted to a bit of arrogance as long as it is supported with actual ability.
-Quick wit and charm are also very attractive. I love a good debate
-Can't be too liberal, or we will probably fight too much
-Must not be sexist or racist, that immediately causes me to dislike a person
-Also to spend to much time with me, any man would have to have a darker more twisted sense of humor and morality.
-I'm not religious, so anyone who has extremely religious beliefs would definitely not get along with me well.
-Has to be good in bed :smallwink:

[DJ Yung Crunk]

I might be the most shallow person in the world. But if they prefer NuWho to Classic Who that's a dealbreaker for me.

[The Fury]

Oddly enough I find myself attracted to peoples' hands. I like hands with long, elegant fingers-- the kind one generally associates with piano players. Maybe it's because I like holding hands.

[DJ Yung Crunk]

Oddly enough I find myself attracted to peoples' hands. I like hands with long, elegant fingers-- the kind one generally associates with piano players. Maybe it's because I like holding hands.

You should watch the Seinfeld episode "The Bizarro Jerry". The B-plot might resonate with you.

[The Fury]

You should watch the Seinfeld episode "The Bizarro Jerry". The B-plot might resonate with you.

Is that the one with the "Man Hands?"

[DJ Yung Crunk]

Is that the one with the "Man Hands?"

You speak my language, it appears.

[Amaril]

Is that the one with the "Man Hands?"

Indeed. Personally, I didn't think it was all that funny of a b-plot, but it does apply here.

[DJ Yung Crunk]

Indeed. Personally, I didn't think it was all that funny of a b-plot, but it does apply here.

"The Bizarro Jerry" is definitely an inferior Seinfeld episode. This was post-Larry David. Plus the A-plot was just a bit too fantastic for Seinfeld. Felt incongruous with the tone of the series.

[The Fury]

Indeed. Personally, I didn't think it was all that funny of a b-plot, but it does apply here.

I don't know. I'm not sure I'd be as put off by someone's weird hands as Jerry was.

[DJ Yung Crunk]

I don't know. I'm not sure I'd be as put off by someone's weird hands as Jerry was.

If you were as neurotic as Jerry we would have noticed by now.

[The Fury]

If you were as neurotic as Jerry we would have noticed by now.

I guess so, but then again I don't post that often.

[DJ Yung Crunk]

I guess so, but then again I don't post that often.

It would not have taken long.

[Dienekes]

Man, I wish I knew. I've only ever been attracted to two people in my life that were so unlike each other in appearance and personality I can compile a list of similarities:

I could make them laugh
They were female
They already had long-term boyfriends

That's about it. One was tall, one short, one skinny, one curved, one a genius, the other kind of a ditz, one the single sweetest person I've ever met, the other I watched beat someone up with a two-by-four.

[2D8HP]

I'm attracted to pretty much anyone who brings me a beer without me asking for it. I also enjoy people at lot that bring me beer when I ask for it, but nothing beats a surprise brewski.

This cracks me up..I think that's called being attracted to beer (I prefer Mead but a good Ale is fine, maybe make that a double). The women who has long been my wife laughed for years that when we first met she offered me a "Coors", and I so visibly recoiled.
In seriousness, shared memories, and mutual dislikes are important.:smallbiggrin:

[ThinkMinty]

-Can't be too liberal, or we will probably fight too much
-Must not be sexist or racist, that immediately causes me to dislike a person

Those two are at least somewhat contradictory.

[the_fennecfox]

Those two are at least somewhat contradictory.

Not necessarily, not all conservatives or right leaning people are racists and anti-feminist - at least not most people my age.

I am probably a little liberal on social issues, however on nearly everything else I tend towards the right side of the political spectrum.
-for example, I have nothing against gay marriage, I'm pro-choice, and I believe women should be able to serve in combat roles. However, I'm against anything resembling socialism, I'm against affirmative action, and believe in the second amendment.

EDIT: I just realized, we're not supposed to talk about politics are we...

[neriractor]

EDIT: I just realized, we're not supposed to talk about politics are we...

... We are not.

Also, for the things I like:

Physical:
• short, I don't know why but rarely does a tall girl get my attention just by her appearance.
• Cute face (pretty subjective but I don't know how to explain myself)
• dark hair is a plus but girls with some or all of their hair in weird colors (green, bright red...) win by a big margin.
• eyes that you can get lost in.

Non-physical:
• general kindness, 67% of the girls I know treat me like **** just because they can and that's not an attractive quality in any way.
• she is got to be witty and smart, I grew up arguing with my entire family as a kind of entertainment, and it is a nice chunk of me so somebody who can shut me up with a few words is big turn on.
• outgoing, I need somebody to push me out of my boundaries, and gets me to like the place outside my comfort zone.
• somebody who appreciates the little details and all the work they take would be a nice change of pace.
• a bit quirky is good.
• honesty, telling me upfront what you like and dislike about me is great since there is little to no chance of me figuring it out.

Of course this is all in theory, in practice you usually fall for different person or just can't find the one that fits your ideal match.

[Winter_Wolf]

Wow I look at this post and I swear it's like you took the time to alternate between purple and green text. It's literally the only post that looks like that. I must be losing it.

[MrConsideration]

Physically?

Men:
- Strong build, square jaw etc traditionally masculine.
- I'm more attracted to Black men. I have no idea why, and maybe there's some weird sublimated racist element to it, but that's a preference I feel (I'm white.)

Women
- Petite, alternative vibe.
- One of those 'I know it when I see it' things - I think I prefer striking to conventionally beautiful.
- Big eyes.
- Ideally shorter than me (I'm 5"10 so most women are.)


In terms of personality I really like people who have a very strongly defined sense of self and a lot of direction. Actual personality traits aren't as important as being very strongly yourself to me, so I've dated quite varied people.

In terms of shared interests, I'm not actually that fussed. I think there's a lot to be said for dating someone who whose hobbies and tastes are different to yours and you can try new things and share passions. Provided you like enough of the same music that you can find a CD to put on in the car, I think you're golden.

I...er....don't tell people I'm dating about D&D. I just can't be bothered to have that conversation.


I do expect honesty and integrity and kick people to the curb if I feel they're acting in a way I'd consider to be inadequate.

[TechnOkami]

Let me be very clear with something first.

I've already recognized that, visually at least, my ideal dream woman is to likely not align with my interests in who or how she is, but since the topic of the thread asks the question, I suppose I'll list visuals I prefer anyways.

As far as bodies go, I don't like unhealthiness in either extreme (skinny or fat), so if you are not morbidly obese or stick-thin anorexic, I will likely be able to build attraction for myself to you. This said, I've come to appreciate hourglass shaped women. Again though, visuals are not my dominant traits by any means, shape, or form, so I tend to see them as really nice icing on my theoretical cake. Um, I don't particularly care for women of darker skin tones, and lean much more heavily towards caucasian women. Red hair is love, red hair is life. Orange or gtfo (not really). Then again, I like women with jet black raven hair too... I dunno, I think my brain interprets the visuals of people as just that: visual information. I definitely have things that appeal to me more, but I don't like seeing it as a "must have", so I choose not to. Period.

Now, that all said, the traits that I look for in people THE MOST have to do with who they are, how they act, their personalities, etc. etc. That's a lot of little things which I could easily write a full blown essay on, so instead I'll leave this post (http://www.giantitp.com/forums/showsinglepost.php?p=20057630&postcount=596) as a good example of what exactly I'm looking for, or the general ballpark at the very least.

[Serpentine]

I...er....don't tell people I'm dating about D&D. I just can't be bothered to have that conversation.
That's a shame. My first boyfriend played D&D at school but didn't tell me, so I didn't discover D&D until I got to uni. There, my second boyfriend and I discovered, played and DMed together and built a world together. Then I DMed for my third boyfriend.

[Spanish_Paladin]

Tenderness (she likes hugs, kisses, holding hands all the time), intelligence (she can talk about any topic with solvency), phisically i like petite girls.

[the_fennecfox]

One physical look I'm quite attracted to is the combination of darker skin with light colored eyes.

[ThinkMinty]

Not necessarily, not all conservatives or right leaning people are racists and anti-feminist - at least not most people my age.

That's why I said somewhat contradictory. It's correlated rather than causal. It's a "tangibly more likely to be" situation rather than intrinsic.


However, I'm against anything resembling socialism

Even libertarian socialism?

[Amaril]

Guys, please don't make the mods close my thread. Politics are against the rules.

[the_fennecfox]

@ThinkMinty: I see your point

Sorry, no more politics.

[Velaryon]

Physically, I'm attracted to a wide variety of women. Different races, body types, ages, hair colors and styles, bust sizes, all of that. That said, the ones I have actually dated for any length of time seem to be toward the middle in terms of body type, curvy with maybe a few extra pounds but not fat, and with medium to slightly longer hair, and usually about 3 or 4 years younger than me.

In terms of personality, I want someone who shares at least some of my interests. The more we have in common the better, though I agree with MrConsideration that there's a lot to be said for having different likes that you can share with each other and discover new things. Nerdiness is a must I think - I've dated non-nerds a few times and I just never felt like we had much of a connection. I know it works for some people, but I think for me, I need someone nerdy even if we aren't nerdy about the same things.

Intelligence is a must. Confidence in who she is and what she wants is appealing as well. Kindness and consideration are big deals too. Quirkiness, a weird sense of humor (or at least the ability to appreciate mine), patience and dedication are all also plusses.

[Vivee]

Personality, demeanor, etc.

[BWR]

Physically, I've tended to fall in love with short (well, shorter than me, which means just about all of them), curvy girls. It's not a must by any means, just a tendency. Which is weird because I've tended to fantasize about the tall, athletic type.

Personality-wise, um...it's hard to think of specifics. She has to have a compatible sense of humor and the ability to argue, sometimes rather vehemently, about something and just put it aside and get on with something else with no lingering annoyance. Being tolerant of my many many flaws is a must, for her sake rather than mine. In general, I like someone I can talk to about almost anything, who has similar interests and can be as lazy as myself.

Luckily, I found someone who fits the bill.

[Frontier]

It's their glow, their halo so to speak. Happy people tend to have them :)

[Jerry]

For me its a warm smile and dark eyes. Clean shaven, preferably. And good personal grooming habits are a must.

[5a Violista]

I have very high standards, which basically means they have to be able to cook spaghetti.

:smalltongue:

Actually, here's the traits that I find most attractive, in order from most attractive to third-most attractive:

(1) Said person is a musician.
(2) We have a long fun conversation about everything, whatever, nothing, and all the things in-between.
(3) Has a smile.

[randman22222]

I've never been able to figure out what traits it is that turn me on.

Except for one thing.

Demonstration of some skill, especially if they make it look easy. Like there was one guy in a lab I worked in who could use a pipette so quickly and with such agility and precision that I couldn't help but think, "Dayumn." Some of the very talented archers I've shot with/against have also had that reaction. And some musicians, too. Etc.

[FinnLassie]

Honestly, there's just something so very attractive about Finnish guys. Blonde hair, blue eyes, fair skin, freckles, tall, quiet, honest, blunt, etc...

But that really how I've not ended up in my dating life. :smalltongue: I guess my fantasy man is indeed a fantasy man, no matter how many of them end up walking right by me in the streets. And that's a lot given that I am Finnish living in Finland. :smallcool:

Looking back, pretty much 80% of the guys I've had a crush on / dated in the past 4-5 are guys that had delicious long hair (nom nom nom) and then cut it short. No idea how that has come to be.


It's super hard to talk about personality traits. I don't know what to say. It's pretty generic stuff... loyal, honest, romantic, that kind of stuff, you know?

[freezingfox]

just someone that is kind and listens to me and accepts me for i am everything elce is a bonus

[Scarlet Knight]

There is a website where models and photographers show their work. It literally has 10’s of thousands of people of all types (black, white, yellow, brown, young, old, tall short etc.) and almost everyone’s attractive. I couldn’t find a common trait.

So if I had to pick, I once said I love women of mixed Italian and Asian descent. They seem to often have the delicate features of one with the curves and passion of the other.

In addition, while it’s a person’s physical traits that attracts me (makes me cross the room); it’s their personality that keeps me from crossing back.

[TherianTheorist]

Just posting to say I found the thread interesting.

I'm too embarrassed to talk about my preferences in people.

[rajgupta]

eyes...dark skin

[joshspace]

A great sense of humor is incredibly attractive.

[laotze]

Someone who strikes that perfect balance of listening thoughtfully and contributing to the conversation.