DarthSpader
2016-04-06, 02:13 PM
I started a "worst session ever" thread recently and that of course for me thinking about some of the more amusing situations. I've got more then a few, so I'll put them here. Does anyone else have amusing tales? Mine are mostly face palm moments ..:.
This one is the oldest i can remember and was told to me by the first group I joined. Back when I was a brand new. It was 3rd ed, and the situation was the party including cleric and rogue around 3rd level were exploring some dungeon. It had a solid amount of undead and unfortunately the rogue was killed. With only a few more areas left the group decided to press on, and raise the rogue later. The cleric cast gentle repose, wrapped the body and the group Treked on. In one of the final rooms the group encounters a priestess. The exchange goes as follows:
Dm: you see a priestess. She doesn't seem to be attacking. Roll spot checks.
Group highest roll of fail
Dm: ok.....
Priestess: what brings you here?
Fighter: we are exploring. What is your business here? Everything else down here is evil
P: yes... Everything else. ... I'm here... To research.
Cleric: you must be pretty powerful to be down here alone.
P: i do ok. My God gives me a lot of strong help.
C: you're a cleric? Do you think you can get our friend up and going again?
P: .....sure...
Rogue : yay!
Casts spell, everyone fails spell craft
Dm: roll spot. (Everyone fails)
Dm: ok a zombie rises from the ground beside the cleric. Roll init
(Cleric wins highest roll)
C: so a zombie is beside me? Where did it come from?
Dm: roll wisdom (fails) you aren't sure. But it's there now.
C: I turn undead!
Dm: the zombie is destroyed.
Rogue: crap...
After the ensuing combat with the priestess they realized she cast animate dead on the rogue, making the zombie. The cleric then dusted it with a turn... So no raise dead for the rogue. :(
Elvish wine
Same group as above. I'm a player. Our group has arrived in a tavern and is tired from wrapping up a mission. We are ordering food and drinks and the i keeper asks us what we want for a beverage. The cleric responds with "what do you have?"
In keeper: we have water, ale, or elvish wine
Cleric: the elvish wine sounds good
Dm: the in keeper bows and leaves - shortly a man in an apron, dirty kitchen clothes and pointy ears comes out. He is clearly an elf.
Elf: (in nasely whimpery tone) they never let me go home early... I'm always cleaning up HORRID messes, I don't get paid enough.... My arm hurts.... They make me take out the smelly garbage.... I never get any tips....
It's then we realized we got what we ordered. An elvish whine.
The fisherman
So I'm Dm for a group, a regular team I play with. One guy makes a character - I can't recall the class but that's not important. The group is investigating a string of supernatural murders. The victims all seemed drowned, and the town lies near a lake. Rumor has it the lady of the lake is a ghost and is killing people. The clues all point a pretty straight path but this one character - call him "R" because he was a rogue or ranger I think decided that instead of following the clues - this could be solved by locating the body of the ghost - who was obviously in the lake. He got a boat, fishing gear and the works and sailed off. Alone. Despite the group and me asking him to stay with the rest of the party. He insisted on his plan, so off he went. Spent the next 10 hours fishing. Meanwhile the group solved the mystery.
Me: so your still on the lake. It's getting dark.
R: have I found anything?
Me: no.
R: what about fish?
Me: (rolling dice ) ok you caught a fish (start with arms spread as wide as possible) thiiiiiiiii.....sss (slowly shorten arms to a mere inch) big.
R: yay!
From then on, whenever this guy wants to go look for something I tell him he found a fish "this big" it's a rather funny running joke.
This one is the oldest i can remember and was told to me by the first group I joined. Back when I was a brand new. It was 3rd ed, and the situation was the party including cleric and rogue around 3rd level were exploring some dungeon. It had a solid amount of undead and unfortunately the rogue was killed. With only a few more areas left the group decided to press on, and raise the rogue later. The cleric cast gentle repose, wrapped the body and the group Treked on. In one of the final rooms the group encounters a priestess. The exchange goes as follows:
Dm: you see a priestess. She doesn't seem to be attacking. Roll spot checks.
Group highest roll of fail
Dm: ok.....
Priestess: what brings you here?
Fighter: we are exploring. What is your business here? Everything else down here is evil
P: yes... Everything else. ... I'm here... To research.
Cleric: you must be pretty powerful to be down here alone.
P: i do ok. My God gives me a lot of strong help.
C: you're a cleric? Do you think you can get our friend up and going again?
P: .....sure...
Rogue : yay!
Casts spell, everyone fails spell craft
Dm: roll spot. (Everyone fails)
Dm: ok a zombie rises from the ground beside the cleric. Roll init
(Cleric wins highest roll)
C: so a zombie is beside me? Where did it come from?
Dm: roll wisdom (fails) you aren't sure. But it's there now.
C: I turn undead!
Dm: the zombie is destroyed.
Rogue: crap...
After the ensuing combat with the priestess they realized she cast animate dead on the rogue, making the zombie. The cleric then dusted it with a turn... So no raise dead for the rogue. :(
Elvish wine
Same group as above. I'm a player. Our group has arrived in a tavern and is tired from wrapping up a mission. We are ordering food and drinks and the i keeper asks us what we want for a beverage. The cleric responds with "what do you have?"
In keeper: we have water, ale, or elvish wine
Cleric: the elvish wine sounds good
Dm: the in keeper bows and leaves - shortly a man in an apron, dirty kitchen clothes and pointy ears comes out. He is clearly an elf.
Elf: (in nasely whimpery tone) they never let me go home early... I'm always cleaning up HORRID messes, I don't get paid enough.... My arm hurts.... They make me take out the smelly garbage.... I never get any tips....
It's then we realized we got what we ordered. An elvish whine.
The fisherman
So I'm Dm for a group, a regular team I play with. One guy makes a character - I can't recall the class but that's not important. The group is investigating a string of supernatural murders. The victims all seemed drowned, and the town lies near a lake. Rumor has it the lady of the lake is a ghost and is killing people. The clues all point a pretty straight path but this one character - call him "R" because he was a rogue or ranger I think decided that instead of following the clues - this could be solved by locating the body of the ghost - who was obviously in the lake. He got a boat, fishing gear and the works and sailed off. Alone. Despite the group and me asking him to stay with the rest of the party. He insisted on his plan, so off he went. Spent the next 10 hours fishing. Meanwhile the group solved the mystery.
Me: so your still on the lake. It's getting dark.
R: have I found anything?
Me: no.
R: what about fish?
Me: (rolling dice ) ok you caught a fish (start with arms spread as wide as possible) thiiiiiiiii.....sss (slowly shorten arms to a mere inch) big.
R: yay!
From then on, whenever this guy wants to go look for something I tell him he found a fish "this big" it's a rather funny running joke.