You must escape the wrath of Michael Jackson

[Douche]

You have just finished raiding the tomb of an ancient warrior king, which required you to unlock a seal that - unbeknownst to you - contained the spirit of his most powerful and unhinged enforcer - Wacko Jacko.

Your party arrives back at town, enjoying the spoils of their victory, when you hear an ominous "Hee heeeee" causing you all to exchange a strange look. Nobody else seems affected by this. Nobody except for the wizened old man sitting on his own in the corner. His pockmarked face and weary expression suggests that he has seen a great deal of the world. "You've unleashed the King of Pop," he says "They say that whomever releases the seal of MJ in the ancient tomb is cursed, and that he will pursue you to the ends of the earth, until he captures you and takes you prisoner in Neverland Ranch... You must flee as fast as you can, lest you bring misfortune to all around you!"


You must evade Michael Jackson for as long as possible. You have 3 party members, 50k gold, 7th level. The curse prevents you from teleporting more than 10 miles. Also, each time you fall asleep, you hear a loud "Chamone heee heeee!" right as you are about to regain your resources. You will not suffer exhaustion (as a result of not sleeping, at least), but you cannot otherwise benefit from a long rest due to this psychic assault from the King of Pop.

MJ is a revenant under the UA rules. He always knows the distance and direction of his mark (you and your party members) and each time you kill him, he will return again within 24 hours. He is a level 10 Lore Bard with maxed out performance, spells all focused on illusion and enchantment. He does not require sleep and travels at a "Fast" pace as outlined in the PHB.

His goal is to capture you and bring you to Neverland Ranch. Your goal is to evade him for as long as possible without being captured, and hopefully find a way to lift the curse so you can live your life in peace.

What is your party composition and how do you survive this horrific pursuit?

[Malifice]

At least two warlock/ wizards with rope trick.

Cast/ climb in/ rest/ cast/ climb in in an endless terrifying loop.

[Giant2005]

A party of 7th level characters wouldn't have too much difficulty beating a level 10 character regardless of the party's composition - the challenge is keeping him from coming back.
Rather than kill him, you choose to knock him out upon reaching 0 HP. He is going to get back up 6 seconds later, so you need to stick manacles on him and a bag over his head within that time. Then tie him up really well at your leisure.
That isn't good enough to stop him however, as he will die of thirst within a week and reappear a mile away to resume the hunt. Therefore you have a week or maybe less to construct a prison that he cannot escape from - one with walls more than a mile thick. The only feasible way to do that is by digging a hole. The Mold Earth Cantrip will get the job done after a few hundred castings. Once you have your hole dug, seal him in there so he can spend the rest of eternity continuously suffocating to death.

[Douche]

A party of 7th level characters wouldn't have too much difficulty beating a level 10 character regardless of the party's composition - the challenge is keeping him from coming back.
Rather than kill him, you choose to knock him out upon reaching 0 HP. He is going to get back up 6 seconds later, so you need to stick manacles on him and a bag over his head within that time. Then tie him up really well at your leisure.
That isn't good enough to stop him however, as he will die of thirst within a week and reappear a mile away to resume the hunt. Therefore you have a week or maybe less to construct a prison that he cannot escape from - one with walls more than a mile thick. The only feasible way to do that is by digging a hole. The Mold Earth Cantrip will get the job done after a few hundred castings. Once you have your hole dug, seal him in there so he can spend the rest of eternity continuously suffocating to death.

Hmm... I think you've found a flaw in the revenant design. It says that the body has to be destroyed for him to teleport up to a mile. So if you die by being crushed or held down by something, then you respawn right there over and over with no hope of escape.

That reminds me of a friend who once told me that eternal life is one super power he would never pick. Over thousands of years, you're bound to end up in a situation where it screws you over at some point. If you get trapped somewhere, or end up in an earthquake that takes you underground, then you can't die and you're doomed to be stuck in one position for the rest of eternity.

But anyway, I feel like MJ could eventually claw his way out. It might take a few years but he will dig his way out eventually. And until then you will be unable to ever get a full nights rest, forever haunted by his hee heeing

[Jakinbandw]

If I had a bard, a Cleric and a rouge I could probably pull something fun off.

Mainly convince him that he has already taken us prisoner, and therefor, having completed his task, he will die and unable to be revived as per revenant rules. Now going about this is the fun part!

Rouge with expertise in Bluff and 20 charisma gives us a +11 to the check (assuming he started with 18 charisma).

The bard gives him a d8 inspiration dice and will be using the help action to give the rouge advantage on the bluff. He can also use cutting words to lower MJ's insight check by a d8 if applicable.

Finally the cleric uses the guidance cantrip to give the rouge another d4 to the check.

Now depending on how the GM rules it, we either have to roll a 30 for an impossible skill check (and we have a 68% chance of pulling that off), or we are rolling against MJ who probably does not have a high wisdom or expertise in insight. Either way, we will eventually convince him that he has achieved his revenant purpose and finally lay him to rest.

[edit] And I shouldn't forget the lucky feat on the human rouge at first level bumping the chances of rolling a thirty to around 81%. Works even better if the DM decides the check is at disadvantage, because then the bard doesn't even have to use the help option.

[Grod_The_Giant]

Or the DM just says "no, that's impossible" and doesn't let you roll.

My vote is to beat him up, tie him up, stick him in a pair of concrete shoes and drop him into the deepest part of the ocean. That's deep enough that even if he does his teleport-a-mile trick he'll still be deep enough to drown (and possibly also be crushed) well before he reaches the surface.

[Malifice]

Or the DM just says "no, that's impossible"

http://images3.wikia.nocookie.net/__cb20120109234548/starwars/images/8/87/Luke_whining.jpg

[Ruslan]

Or the DM just says "no, that's impossible" and doesn't let you roll.

My vote is to beat him up, tie him up, stick him in a pair of concrete shoes and drop him into the deepest part of the ocean. That's deep enough that even if he does his teleport-a-mile trick he'll still be deep enough to drown (and possibly also be crushed) well before he reaches the surface.

The assumption seems to be that the restraints (concrete shoes) follow him when he teleports. I can totally see a DM ruling they do not.

[RickAllison]

My advice?


Beat it, beat it, beat it, beat it
No one wants to be defeated
Showin' how funky strong is your fight
It doesn't matter who's wrong or right

Just beat it, beat it, beat it, beat it, beat it

... I'll stop now...

[Rakoa]

The assumption seems to be that the restraints (concrete shoes) follow him when he teleports. I can totally see a DM ruling they do not.

Not at all. Even without concrete shoes, being a mile from the ocean floor is not a situation that one can just swim out of before drowning/being crushed beneath the pressure of the water.

[Ruslan]

Not at all. Even without concrete shoes, being a mile from the ocean floor is not a situation that one can just swim out of before drowning/being crushed beneath the pressure of the water.
Great, his body is crushed by the water pressure. Obliterated into a pulp. Destroyed. Uh oh, destroyed? So... he reforms... 1 mile from where his body was... destroyed? Is that how it works? If that's still below the ocean surface, the cycle continues.

[Grod_The_Giant]

The assumption seems to be that the restraints (concrete shoes) follow him when he teleports. I can totally see a DM ruling they do not.
You still can't swim a mile or more (the average ocean depth is 2.3 miles) before drowning, and you'll sink back to the bottom before respawning. (It takes 24 hours, remember). Having just done some of the most-likely-to-get-me-on-a-watch-list googling I've every done, my guess is that, even if he spawns with air in his lungs, it'll be expelled when he dies. After which it takes days to weeks for enough gasses to build up through decomposition for him to float again, by which point he'll long since be in a new body.

[Malifice]

Warforced Barbarian Rogue grapples and restrains him, while the other two PCs bind him in manacles before tossing him in a bag of devouring.

He reforms a mile away from where he died. Which was in the plane that is the bag of devouring.

[RickAllison]

Great, his body is crushed by the water pressure. Obliterated into a pulp. Destroyed. Uh oh, destroyed? So... he reforms... 1 mile from where his body was... destroyed? Is that how it works? If that's still below the ocean surface, the cycle continues.

Yeah, I don't think the revenant's body will remain intact long enough for the gasses to build up to cause it to float. Not a fun way to go...

[Grod_The_Giant]

Yeah, I don't think the revenant's body will remain intact long enough for the gasses to build up to cause it to float. Not a fun way to go...
And now that I think about it, the body is mostly water, which can't be compressed. Would two or three miles of water be enough to crush it to the point of destruction? If it's at least a mile below the maximum depth you can swim up from, I think you're good.

[Rakoa]

Ocean burial solves all problems.

[JackPhoenix]

Hm...would him getting a Simulacrum/Clone of the party members be enough to fulfill the requirements to end the curse? 3 scrolls of either could fit in the 50k allowance (as very rare consumables, they are something between 2501-25k gp a piece)

[WickerNipple]

Next such experiment:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=o0u4M6vppCI

[PoeticDwarf]

At least two warlock/ wizards with rope trick.

Cast/ climb in/ rest/ cast/ climb in in an endless terrifying loop.
Can't the bard dispell your rope trick. AFB though

[Saeviomage]

I cast remove curse.

[Douche]

I cast remove curse.

Remove curse only works on non-plot central curses

[comk59]

There is only one solution.

Challenge him to a dance/sing off for your freedom

[KorvinStarmast]

You have just finished raiding the tomb of an ancient warrior king, which required you to unlock a seal that - unbeknownst to you - contained the spirit of his most powerful and unhinged enforcer - Wacko Jacko.

Your party arrives back at town, enjoying the spoils of their victory, when you hear an ominous "Hee heeeee" causing you all to exchange a strange look.
One question: is the soundtrack to the album "Thriller" being played in the background whenever MJ is on screen?

I like Malafice's solution, if one can get ahold of a bag of devouring. Otherwise, keep that rope trick coming.

Lastly: Revenant is UA, and is at best subject for play test. Who is it that MJ needs to kill to be put to rest?

[Douche]

One question: is the soundtrack to the album "Thriller" being played in the background whenever MJ is on screen?

I like Malafice's solution, if one can get ahold of a bag of devouring. Otherwise, keep that rope trick coming.

Lastly: Revenant is UA, and is at best subject for play test. Who is it that MJ needs to kill to be put to rest?

He doesn't need to kill anyone. He needs to kidnap you and bring you to Neverland Ranch.

Thriller only plays if you're in a graveyard or something. Also there will be one scene where you are in a one of those funhouse mirror mazes and he will be singing "Man in the Mirror"

[Saeviomage]

Remove curse only works on non-plot central curses

Well, you should have stated that in the writeup... it seems like the only way the curse will end is if he captures you and takes you to neverland.

So I make sure I have banishment, dimension door, gaseous form and any other escape spells I can imagine prepared then surrender and escape at the first possible opportunity once I reach neverland. Any other solution is just going to result in me never being able to long rest, which is pretty crippling, even for a warlock or fighter.

[Safety Sword]

There is only one solution.

Challenge him to a dance/sing off for your freedom

You've now turned your adventure into Bill and Ted's Bogus Journey. I'm so sorry...

[xroads]

That isn't good enough to stop him however, as he will die of thirst within a week and reappear a mile away to resume the hunt.

Actually, aren't revenants undead? If so, he won't die of dehydration or starvation.

The adventurers should work to defeat MJ. Then once that's done, bind him, wall him up like in the "The Cask of Amontillado", and then search for a way to break the curse. If the search proves fruitless, make it an annual tradition to come back and check the bindings.