Funny,Fun, and WTF moments.

[RingofThorns]

I was thinking of starting this thread after reading some based around nightmare stories and crap gaming groups. So this thread I am hoping for the more lighter side of things, making that absurd crit role to pull off a stunt, cleverly out thinking a situation, I am sure you are getting the idea by now.

Any way I will kick things off, as I have stated in this forum before my normal DM's always know that I am a bit of a magic weapon slut. I am sure you have seen this kind of player before, dangle some magical and hard to find/rare item out and my character wants it even if they can't really use it....so yeah pretty much my characters are hoarders. Anyway I am in this game playing a drow ranger, that is pretty much kitted out for dungeon diving, and both getting around and putting in traps. Well the party is at the tavern (of course we are at the tavern it's DnD...) anyway we get handed this big quest to go raid some dungeon maze to recover some item or another for some poor defenseless soul. The party starts asking around about the maze and pretty much the DM tells us it is the grand dungeon of TPK, so my drow tips his cap and starts to walk away whistling a jaunty tune....that is when the DM more or less dangles my crack...a super powerful magical sword. So cut to my party barely managing to get through this maze without all of us ending up dead, but I think one of the other players lost an arm but ooc he was actually happy because he was going to make a clock work hellboy and the golden army type arm for his dwarf because of it. Anyway I take my cut of the loot and my new sword back to my hide out, which is obviously referred to as the vault by the other players. The vault is pretty much hidden behind a brick wall you have press certain bricks marked with glyphs in a certain pattern to even make the door show itself, once inside it was literally millions upon millions upon millions of gold worth of traps,barriers,locks,golem sentries..etc. Well one of the things I have recently taken as part of my collection ends up being some Mcguffin we needed for a new quest and the DM decides to just work the whole stealing of the thing be one of the story hooks. So the pretty much explains that while we are out on some other adventure a couple of no names were going to break in and take it, I didn't care to much and I asked him if he was just going to hand wave the theft or if he was going to actually try and steal it. The DM to his credit said he was going to actually try and beat the vault and steal it, and asked if I had a list of the security I had. The DM kind of freaked out when I pulled one of those little mini notebooks out and handed it to him and it was just totally filled with everything, he had never realized how much it had all been adding up over the campaign. After several sessions he literally just throws his hands in the air and literally says 'F@ck it, Olidammara steals it." Because he couldn't come up a with a pair of thieves to break in and get out with the item and having a small army or people standing in that particular dead end might bring alot of unwanted attention.

[BowStreetRunner]

I was playing a 3rd level barbarian in an area of the Forgotten Realms near the ruins of Myth Drannor. The DM had pretty much made clear that even the outskirts of the ruins were 7th level territory, so not to go there until we leveled a few more times. A short while into the game a woman is kidnapped by the BBEG who heads into the ruins with her. My character is the aggressive/fearless personality in the party and argues that he is going into the ruins with or without the rest of the party. None of the other players or the DM make any effort to discourage this at all. The other PCs don't even try to convince me it's suicide - they are all more like 'have fun storming the castle'...er...ruins.

So the DM points out that this I am probably going to need to roll up a new character after this. He suggests that the rest of the players work on getting the frozen pizza and other food ready while he solo's me to my doom, then I can work on my new character when he takes over running the rest of the party through the next stage of the adventure.

Off I go, and I'm pulling out every trick I can think to keep my character alive. Every ability and skill he possesses I am using in the most creative ways I can think, and it keeps my alive long enough to reach the kidnap victim. But the DM doesn't want her rescued so the BBEG kills her then comes after me. Now I am in full retreat as my character will risk himself to rescue an innocent but not once she is already dead. The BBEG has a vorpal throwing axe so I am trying hard to keep out of his range, all the while dodging the various other hazards and monsters that keep showing up. After a couple of heart-pounding hours I am almost home free, but due to a wrong turn and having to double back due to what appears to be an ice devil up ahead, I find myself one turn away from being able to escape down the river when the BBEG gets in range for one last shot at decapitating me.

Did I mention that we were playing with fumble rolls? Yep. The DM rolled a '1' on his attack with the vorpal throwing axe. Did it right there in front of all of us. Then goes to his own fumble chart and after the next roll he is cursing and swearing because now he has a headless BBEG and I just messed up his entire campaign. So I start back to pick up the axe and he just looks at me and lets me know that the ice devil is rounding the corner and appears to be going after the axe as well. I took the hint, counted my blessings, and jumped into the river and swam away to freedom.

Needless to say the rest of my 3rd level party gave the barbarian a heck of a lot more respect through the remainder of that particular campaign. :smallcool:

[erok0809]

The barbarian in my group suplexed a hippogriff to death once, and then used that to tame another one, because it was too afraid to do otherwise. He then wrestled a dragonnel and made it his steed. He wants to eventually make a chariot that he can have pulled by hippogriffs and dragonnels and the like so he can look like a flying version of Conan.

In a different game, my party of a sorcerer (me), divine bard, dragon shaman, and swashbuckler had to separate and each take on a huge elemental solo, one of each type for each of us. I took the water, and basically shocking grasped it to death right before I drowned in its whirlpool. The dragon shaman had his spear broken, and so basically wrestled and punched the earth elemental to death, winning with his last action with 0 hp. The swashbuckler (two weapon fighter, and he had haste on from boots of speed) had a speed battle with the air elemental, slashing as fast as the wind while getting cut up himself. The bard took the fire out in two rounds with clever use of a decanter of endless water. In the end, she was the only one that wasn't on the verge of death or actually dying, and all four scenes looked god damn awesome when our DM described them.

In one other game I ran, one of my BBEGs was taunting the players after tricking the party into allowing him to murder a bunch of children for fun (dude was way CE), and one of the players decided to charge him, even though they were way underleveled and knew it. I was surprised, and so I gave them a chance to not die; the enemy would back up in shock, and would trip over the corpses around him if I rolled a 1. I did, and he ended up getting pounced on and murdered way early when the party went to town on him and he couldn't defend himself adequately. It was hell for me to figure out what to do next, but the party loved it and it was a great time.

[Telonius]

During a climactic battle (citadel being besieged, etc etc) the party was supposed to be targeting a group of four juvenile red dragons, flying in close formation. This was intended to be an extremely hard fight for the party, which had just leveled up to 10. The problem was that they'd just leveled up to 10 ... meaning the Beguiler had access to the Incite Riot spell.

Three of the four dragons failed their saves.

Now, normally the spell only lasts one round. But these are Red Dragons we're talking about here. Greedy, vindictive, red dragon teenagers - each of which half-suspected the other of treachery.

Five rounds later, three of them were dead, and the fourth down to about 20 hit points. I believe the Ranger finished him off with a single-round barrage.

[Draconium]

Well, I have two great moments that happened recently, both involving the same character (in the same combat, no less).

First, some context. I was invited to play in a level 5 game, and I was having trouble figuring out what to play. There was a Paladin, Cleric, Fighter, and Rogue already in the party, but I didn't really want to play an arcane class myself. So, after talking with the DM, I ended up making a fun little character - a Wyrmling Mercury Dragon (ECL 5) with high UMD that I plan on taking into Swordsage after leveling. Since that makes me a Tiny-sized creature, that means that I'm effectively the party mascot, though my UMD makes it so I can still participate a decent amount.

We had gotten into combat with a cult, and during a small lapse in combat, we all started joking around about ridiculous things you can attempt to do with characters. A running joke at the table is that you can technically roll a Will save to disbelieve anything you want, and even succeed, but that doesn't actually affect the existence of the object/person, just your botched perception of it. The conversation ended up turning to this joke, and an a whim, I grabbed my dice and "rolled to disbelieve to fourth wall" in jest.

Natural 20. So, now I have a dragon baby who "knows" that he's in a game and him and all his companions are all controlled by a bunch of people rolling dice around the table. We all found that pretty funny.

Then, towards the end of the combat, this dragon was inside a Wall of Force surrounding an alter with two enemies, to allied NPC's (one of them was bleeding out, though), and a single other PC (the fighter). I had two wands on me at this point, one of Magic Missile and one of Cure Light Wounds. The cultists were very clearly tough, and even with my wands, I couldn't do much to hurt them. That is, until I had a brilliant idea. I took my wand of Magic Missile and shoved it up... a certain orifice of the nearest cultist. I then proceeded to to purposefully fumble my UMD check, and, well... You can figure out what happened next (http://www.giantitp.com/comics/oots1020.html).

The entire table was roaring with laughter, and that little dragon has already become a bit of a legend among the group. It was a fun night. :smallbiggrin:

[digiman619]

Well, I've mentioned it before, but I love telling the story, so I'll repeat it here. Playing 5th Ed as a CG Mountain Dwarf Sorcerer (Wild Magic origin). DM thought that wild magic was funny (I chose it to have a good reason to be a CG Dwarf), so he ended up giving me a necklace that triggered my wild magic surge every time I cast a spell. EVERY TIME. So we're playing Horde of the Dragon Queen, and we get to the part where the blue dragon attacks the courtyard. The way the encounter is supposed to work is that the dragon shows up, attacks some people, takes a little damage, and flies off. What happened is a different story. When we rolled for initiative, I got 21 (going first), and the dragon got 5 (going last). I magic missile[i/]'d him, and because of the necklace, my surge triggered. So in addition to the missiles, I also [i]lightning bolt'd it. Unfortunately, being a blue dragon gave it immunity to lightning, so that extra damage was lost. The dragon attacked the archers on the wall. My turn again, I cast another magic missile, and this time I also levitate myself. Dragon continued attacking the archers. Third turn, out of non-cantrips, I cast fire bolt (it should be noted that the rest of the party is also doing incredibly well, especially our ranger, played by my then very pregnant sister). This time, the surge also casts magic missile again... this time as a 5th LEVEL SPELL, doing near max damage!. So now I have the dragon's full attention. He decides to wing buffet me. If I fail my save, I'm being thrown off the castle, smashing to the ground out far away from anyone else, and then start dying. Roll my save. Natural 20. So I get moved, but touch ground on a parapet. My turn again, I cast fire bolt again; this time, my wild surge summons a unicorn... beneath me! So, DM has the unicorn roll for init, gets 18, so he decides he can act this turn, so the unicorn casts entangle on the dragon. Dragon botches its save. And continues to botch the strength checks it takes to get free for the next three turns. So we wail on it mercilessly until it finally breaks free and starts to fly away. Barbarian gets an AoO as it bursts free, and crits, disemboweling it. We were level 1 by the way. So now my character wears a dragonscale breastplate with a unicorn engraved on the chest.

[RingofThorns]

I remember in one game I had this duelist character that fought with a vorpal sword, and the DM we had at the time thought he would be funny because I kept defeating and decapitating his various minions of darkness. So we get into a fight and this shaman type caster bad guy starts slinging spells and I am slowly working my way towards him to kill him, when the DM suddenly told me to roll a save....I failed and get shrunk down to the size of a large mouse. I will say that again, I did not get turned into a mouse I was shrunk down to the size of a mouse...much to the annoyance of the DM I made my next attack against the shaman that had shrunk me and roll a crit, which ended up with me cutting his head off. The DM just tossed his dice and papers into the air, my character was stuck the size of a mouse for like a year in game.

[zyggythorn]

Pick your poison here:
http://www.wehatebardspodcasts.com/?p=archive&cat=all&pgn=2

I personally suggest the runequest series.

[TheFamilarRaven]

@BowStreetRunner Thank you for that tale... It really made my day, and made me remember this story...

Anyway. I had a hankering to play some DnD 3.5 after I decided I didn't like 4th too much. I was still a pretty novice (teenage) DM, but I had a good head on for DMing, or so I was told. So I scrounged up 3 players (which eventually got up to 7) to start a new campaign based in my homebrew setting. The gist of the of it is, a large portion of the dark elves broke away from their motherland and joined the Republic, and now they were building their first city of New Velok.

So my party of three consists of a minotaur fighter, a gnome rogue, and a drow wizard (All re-balanced for no LA). Now, the wizard's player had a penchant for making characters that were the complete opposite of the racial stereotype, so this drow was chaotic good and behaved like a wizard straight out of a Disney film. Blue robes with stars, pointy hat etc. carried around a bag of glitter to toss around and said "WAH-CHAH!" in a high-pitched voice with each wave of his hand.

So it comes down to their first quest; recover some supplies that were meant for the city but had yet to arrive. They track down the bandits who waylaid the shipment, (goblinoids) and proceed through the dungeon. Now, by the end, the minotaur had taken a serious crit and once low HP, the rouge was more or less fine, but the wizard was running low on spells. Despite this, they pressed on into the boss chamber to encounter the tribes' leader; a ferocious bugbear, wielding a heavy flail.

The party gets a few good hits off on him but he's still alive. Then it comes down to the bugbear's turn, and he clocks the fighter good with his flail, dropping him into the negatives, and now he's looking to take down the squishy rogue. The rogue attacks and misses and now it's up to the wizard with no spells.

In a moment of brilliance, the wizard decides to fling glitter at the bugbear and scream his signature line "WAH-CHAH!", with the intention of distracting the brute. I let him roll intimidate to see if he succeeded, and he rolled high, so the bugbear turned to bring down the wizard. Only problem was it was now the bugbear turn, who promptly rushed towards the defenseless wizard and swung his mighty flail with full force!

...Did I mention that I was also playing with fumble rules?

So this raging bugbear charges the wizard, rolls a natural 1 on his attack, (followed by another natural 1, I confirm fumbles like crits), and thus the wizard managed to duck under the monster's swing and watch as the chain of the flail wrapped around the bugbear's neck and chocked him to death... Don't ask how...

There was a long moment of silence after that encounter.

[WeaselGuy]

So, this happened to me a few chapters ago in our persistent world campaign. My character, a Jungle Halfling Ranger/Outrider was riding his Leopard companion through some dungeon or another, when the group came up to this crevasse. In typical fashion, the enemy bad gal sorceress was on the other side of the drawbridge, flanked by a good half dozen archers and other assorted bad guys, raining death and destruction upon the whole group while we tried to figure out how to get across the cavern. Cue up me utilizing my Leopard's climb speed and Sparky's exotic military saddle to run across the side walls of the cavern and perform a flying Leap from the Saddle to tackle the sorceress with a nat20 on my attack roll. I don't remember exactly how much damage I did against her, but between spirited charge, using a valorous lance, and some other enhancements, I flat-lined the bad gal and my leopard roared to intimidate the rest of the archers into lowering their weapons (and the drawbridge), allowing the party to cross and retrieve the McGuffin. Sparky now owns a nice little forest keep in a sheltered part of the countryside, and those archers patrol the walls, keeping enemy orcs and trolls at bay.