AMEN XI: Raiders of the Lost Pie

[Rex Idiotarum]

Young Rex slams his hands at the large conference table that for some reason appeared in the room.

Looks at the Hot Head, "'Rational Lunatic of Amen'? Can that be more redundant?"

[Dartonus]

Sha'rall stops what he's doing, which is pouring superglue in Saurous's ear.

[Saurous]

Saurous waves his hands, somehow drying the Sprite up and removing the stickiness. He then takes a seat at the conference table.

"I take it that we're going to do the conference thing?"

He turns to Sha'rall, lifting out of his seat again.

"I swear to whatever idiotic gods you worship, Sha'rall, if you don't get the f*** away from me, I will obliterate you in the most violent and painful ways known to man, you little nuisance!"

[Rex Idiotarum]

"O! Wow, aren't you a minor nuisance? What are you going to do next, shot a slingshot at Mr. Wilson? Saw the head off the town statue?"

[Vespe Ratavo]

Vespe takes a spot at the table, as does Carlos, who appears to have made his 360 into a robot, who is sitting at the seat next to him. He continues to play Dead Rising.

[Dartonus]

Sha'rall smiles and sits back, beginning to build a deathray pointed at The Town.

[thehothead]

Redundent? I beleive you mean contradictory.

[Saurous]

Saurous sits back down, mumbling something about how frustrating everyone has gotten.

((Oh, and I'm pretty sure he meant that saying you're a lunatic and in AMEN is redundant, as almost everyone in AMEN is a lunatic.))

[Rex Idiotarum]

Redundent? I beleive you mean contradictory.

Contradictory and Redundant. An AMENite, by virtue is a Lunatic.

Okay, let's see, how much money have we raised this year?

[Vespe Ratavo]

Vespe pulls out a wad of cash, and two bags of gold.
Lets see, we got $500 from the Bake Sale, 50,000 GP from our Overstock Magic Weapon Sale, 25 CP from me selling our old chair that got busted, and 200,000 GP from conquests and such.
Carlos pulls out a suitcase full of bloody $100 dollar bills.
And here's all the money from the people I murdered. *cough* *weeze*

[Saurous]

"...Okay, continuing from the funds Vespe mentioned, we also have..."

A large wad of US dollars appear in front of Saurous, along with several bags of gold.

"Around $800 from that coin flipping fiasco, and aproximately 90,000 GP from several of my necromantic and arcane ventures, and we recieve about 8000 Septims per day or so from various stations in Cyrodiil.

What? Necromancy is a very profitable business."

[Dartonus]

10,000 platinum off the blood war.
Sha'rall plunks a bag of platinum on the table
They seem to buy stuff from me in equal amounts.

[Saurous]

"And then, as if by magic, everyone suddenly signs off or loses interest! I swear this place has a curse on it or something."

[Lord Fullbladder, Master of Goblins]

"And by selling Magtok's lab equipment, which since he hasn't shown up in a while he probably won't need, we've raised enough money to construct a small orbital battlestation, in case you're wondering. Maybe we can get Unicron and Galacticus to sign it or something, for prosterity."

Fullbladder spins his swivelling chair a few dozen times, then begins chewing on a stock of wheat.

[thehothead]

Just use giant rocks for ammo on it. They're cheaper, and still pretty effective.

[Vhaidara]

Bookboy pops in, drops a book on the table, and pops out. The book is labeled:



HOW TO MAKE CONTERFEIT MONEY.

[Vespe Ratavo]

Yeah, Saurous can probably enchant 'em or somesuch.

[thehothead]

Thehothead adds something to his rock-throwing list.



______ENCHANTED
_________V
PEOPLE TO THROW ROCKS AT:
My sister
My cousin
My other cousin
Bookboy

[Saurous]

"If you want rocks hitting the planet, just summon a meteor or something. An orbital battlestation could be used for so much more than just firing rocks."

[thehothead]

Theres generally a limit to how many meteors you can summon.

[PirateMonk]

PM appears in a seat.

"Well, I made a fair amount off 'misappropriations,' my war profiteering business has gotten into the trillions this year, the lemonade stand is doing well, and oh yes, we have that AMEN treasury that constantly produces an infinite amount of wealth."

[Uberblah]

Uber appears non-dramatically. Then the voice of his player is heard.
Sorry I haven't been here in awhile. Time has only permitted me with a post or two a day. I started a new job and need some sleep and time to work it.

[Lord Fullbladder, Master of Goblins]

"There are a few issues in the expenses area. The sheer volume of baking and pastry ingredients used is taking a heavy toll on some of our smaller treasuries. As is the production cost of steel and concrete, and let's not forget those diamonds Fus and a couple others use so very often. Forest conservation has increased the price of lumber. And the price of a decent, mildly decomposed corpse has skyrocketed recently.

With our current surplus, none of these are a problem. However a drop in interest and people online has begun to lower our production on pies, robots, undead, and weaponry. If we aren't careful, we'll go down the economic drain."

Fullbladder pulls out an unlabeled pie chart to help demonstrate his point.

[Rex Idiotarum]

"Hm... It also seems the power drain for robots and clones, as well as a large expenditure for books, new telescope equipment, and the transplaner conquest campaigns.

Although, the Dungeon Initiative that I've started has gone a dual purpose, the lower, monster infested levels I've opened to adventurers, for a price. Not only do we clean out some of the harsher areas of this place, we also keep the corpses and equipment of the TPKs. So, it's now some of yours jobs to finish off parties after they become wounded, and make sure no one gets out alive. It's win, win, win, win!"

[Vespe Ratavo]

Vespe walks in with a few Orc Peons.
Hey guys, check it out. I found great workers for us. They never need to be paid, they only take a bit of food, and when you poke them they say funny stuff.
Vespe pokes one.
Stop poking me.
And they can mine stuff forever. I've found a huge vein of pie ingredients outside. Get to work you lazy slobs.
The peons walk outside, mine some pie ingredients, and walks back in to put the bags of ingredients into the kitchen portal. Unless someone interrupts, they'll be doing this for quite some time.

[Saurous]

"A vein of-...Vespe, I'm pretty sure pie ingredients aren't mined.

You know what? I might as well not try. Nothing makes sense around here, anyways."

[Vespe Ratavo]

Saurous, just roll with it. I didn't know pie ingredients were mined either, but evidently they are.

Oh, and that reminds me. There's a lake of chocolate milk not twenty miles from here. I think I'm gonna go bottle some up.

Vespe teleports away.

[Tostada]

Chocolate lake you say? I think I'll take a gander at that.

[Saurous]

"Chocolate milk? Huh. I didn't know we moved the base to a country between Candy Land and the Kingdom of Sweets."

Saurous shakes his head.

[CurlyKitGirl]

Curly sidles in and says, "And I bet there's a lagoon of [insert name of favourite drink] only three doors down on the right. Just behind the bookcase." She places a bag full of miscellaneous wealth on the table. She then sits down to daydream...and wait...but mostly read.

"I curse the weather of Britain. Rain, rain, rain, floods of nigh-Biblical proportions. More rain to come." In a fit of annoyance Curly makes it rain, to see how other people like it. The rain builds up quickly. 1ft of floodwater and rising.

Curly goes to sit on the table.

[Saurous]

Saurous whistles, hops up onto the table, and then jumps up into the rafters.

"I find your player annoying, Curly."

[Lord Magtok]

Magtok finally returns from his week-long absence, and shakes his head as he observes all that happened without him.

*Sigh* Wow. I'm amazed that just a week without me was enough to make you all believe AMEN was dead.

Moments after he says this, a time portal opens up and a Magtok in purple robes and a cowboy hat steps out of it. He pulls out a revolver, aims it at Magtok, and coldly glares at him.

The player thought he could rewrite the backstory, get you some new robes, and ditch the old avatar, and get rid of me. He was wrong. Dead wrong. Since I can't make him pay for what he did, I'll just kill you instead.

[Saurous]

Saurous lowers himself from the ceiling in a Spider-Manesque fashion.

"Well, you're one of the few people who actually keep this place active.

Oh, and Fullbladder sold most of your equipment while you were gone."

The necromancer then retreats back into the rafters, to let Magtok deal with Magtok.

[Rex Idiotarum]

"Okay, so our budget seems to be straight up, we have company production and reasonable investments. And since the base is self-sufficient and isolated as far as internet, cable, and power. I like the fact that we run off of Geothermal Energy, which, for some reason isn't as evil as fossil fuels, but it is evil mastermind's power of choice, with Solar in a close second place. Hm....

Okay, next up is Recruitment, as seen lately, we have had many new members, as well as persistent posting from old ones. So, that brings us to our problem, if there is so many new members, how do we account for the massive amount of deadtime? How do we fix it?"

[CurlyKitGirl]

Saurous whistles, hops up onto the table, and then jumps up into the rafters.

"I find your player annoying, Curly."

"Tell me about it. If we're lucky she'll get bored soon. Her place only got virtually continous rain for four days. She didn't get flooded. Noone near her did." The floodwater levels off at four and a half ft. "I think the table's floating now. But it's not raining any more. Which is good. Swim anyone?" To emphasise the supposed summer weather a beahball aimlessly floats on the water. "Just be glad she's forgotten umm..." she looks around and whispers almost silently "AMEN the Soap Opera. That was scary."

She's shouting most of this at the rafters BTW. She them leaps into the water to avoid the wrath of Magtok.

[Saurous]

"This place needs a drain of some sort."

Saurous then comes back out of the rafters, standing upside-down on the ceiling. He redirects his attention to Rex.

"When you say deadtime, you mean the amount of time members are not around, correct? Well, we can't really do anything about that, as most players actually have something of lives away from the computer. Those of us that are around can keep this place running fairly well while others are away, but otherwise there really isn't anything we can do about time away.

If that isn't quite what you mean, could you elaborate? It's hard to understand you sometimes."

[Lord Magtok]

The past Magtok pulls the trigger, and fires a piece of lead at the current Magtok's head. The bullet is caught in his left hand, and tossed into the water.

Hehehehe. I can't believe you actually went to all the trouble of coming here. Didn't it ever occur to you that we've upgraded since your time period?

Yeah, but I saw you lost most of your gun obsession and spent most of your time with worms, so I assumed this would be easy.

I also spent some time water-proofing my circuits. Did you do that?

Oh ****.

The old Magtok dies, and the current one twists off the arm of the old one, and puts it away in his robes.

There. The five-post plot is over.

[Saurous]

"Magtok, the old Magtok isn't connected to you in the future, is he? Because if he had just died, would that not mean that you would die, also?"

Saurous drops down from the ceiling and onto a Necron tomb spyder. It hovers there a few inches above the water.

[CurlyKitGirl]

"Hooray for short plot!" The water changes colour to orange and Curly suddenly learns to do synchronised swimming with 3 NPCs and 2 Magtok clones.
Any good aligned person who touches this person turns a rather strange octarine colour- a sort of greeny-purple. God, I hope it's octarine anyway.

Cue collection by a certain cybernetic-humanoid head of someting-or-other of AMEN

[Lord Magtok]

Magtok scoops up a bucket of the stuff, and then takes it away to the labs. He comes back, and turns to Saurous.

The answer to your question is no, Saur. After being rewritten, given a new physical form, and several other changes I don't like to talk about, the old Magtok was locked away in my player's mind, and I came into existence, the new and (arguably) improved Magtok. The heroic son thing was sent into oblivion, as well as several other things, including the gunslinger avatar, which was eventually replaced with my player's Worms obsession.

[Saurous]

"Ah, I see."

Saurous glances down at the water, wondering why it had suddenly turned orange.

"Unholy orange water of doom, Batman!"

[CurlyKitGirl]

Having accomplished it's possible plotish person the water suddenly disappears. Curly and all the other swimmers drop to the floor. The Necron tomb spider spins wildly in a circle. "Oh, plot. How strange that thou dost venture unto this abode of villains most lazy and moon-crazed. Why shouldst thou vex those who wish that this most abhorrent cause...Inner thoughts: why am I speaking Shakespearian-stlye English? Why are my thoughts visible to all and sundry? Don't think of anything now... a tumble blows past accompanied by a whistling wind.

"'Zounds, by all that is true I wish most ferverebtly that this verbose archaic frame of thoughts would become banished from me. But O! My frame of mind refuses to be removed from this most potent off orders by the aactor known as CP...Curses!"

[Lord Magtok]

Magtok pulls out a Shakespeare to Modern English translator, and holds it upside-down as he transates Curly's post.

Hmm...it seems she wants you to hit her over the head with a frying pan, Saur.

[Saurous]

Saurous spins around with the Spyder for a few moments, before jumping off of it.

"Oh, dear. On from one crazy plot point, and unto another. Why can there not ever be a plot that is not utterly insane.

Wait, moon-crazed? She's making even less sense than normal."

Saurous glances over at Magtok, and hits him over the head with a frying pan.

"For some reason, hitting you over the head with a frying pan does not seem as threatening to my life."

[Lord Magtok]

Magtok rubs his head for a moment, and then turns to Saur.

Hmm...I was reading through the garbage posts that occured while I was gone, and someone mentioned D'anna was coming back. Are the rumors true? :smallconfused:

[Rex Idiotarum]

Rex loads his shotgun.

"When he comes, I'll take care of him. 1-Up'd godmodding, you can't beat that. So, yes, I guess we need to recruit later night members, presumably Australians, since they can cover the night shift."

[CurlyKitGirl]

Moon-crazed: back in Shakespeares time it meant crazy; actually I think it was touched by the moon. It could be some knid of pun too. Lunar-loony. So, talking loony basically.

Translata-matic:
"There's a plot. Here in AMEN place of lazy and crazy villains. Why is it here to annoy those who hate plot."
"Damn! I wish that I wasn't talking like this. Why won't CP stop this?!"

"Yeah, I saw that. It was the last post MC made. Where is she anyway? How about some insomniacs or people who don't have jobs. Or school. That way they won't have anything to do at night." She looks around puzzled. One NPC has a heart attack and dies. "An NPC suffered a natural death. Odd."

[Saurous]

Magtok rubs his head for a moment, and then turns to Saur.

Hmm...I was reading through the garbage posts that occured while I was gone, and someone mentioned D'anna was coming back. Are the rumors true? :smallconfused:

"Dear gods, I hope not. He seems to have lost interest in AMEN a long time ago. I don't think he's going to come back.
But, just in case, we should probably make sure all the defensive systems are still online."

[Lord Magtok]

Magtok heads to his room for a while, and comes back without any visible prostetics, a white lab coat, and a cliche mad scientist hairdo.

If D'anna shows up, just tell him Magtok is on vacation and let some mad scientist act as his substitute for a while.

[Saurous]

Saurous gives Magtok a mock salute.

"Will do."

Meanwhile, a group of large, scarab-like creatures float in, and begin repairing and upgrading the defensive systems of the base.

[Lord Magtok]

Magtok heads outside, and finds a dead chicken by the side of the road. He takes the corpse, and makes a cyborg chicken out of it, which he then plops down on top of the television.

Look! I made a Robot Chicken! :smallbiggrin:

[Saurous]

"That's nice, Magtok. But shouldn't you also force it to watch mindless clips of television until it's cognitive functions change drastically?"

[Lord Magtok]

I suppose so.

Magtok puts the chicken in a chair, fast-forwards time so that the 30 min. Star Wars parody that airs Sunday is on, and then forces the poor chicken to watch it.

Hmm...I think I should've shouted "It's alive!" in my last post.

[Saurous]

A few of the scarab things land on the chair, and also watch the show. They seem intrigued by it.

"Hey! Get back to work on the security systems!"

One of the scarabs holds up a claw and makes a gesture similar to the Finger at Saurous.

[Lord Fullbladder, Master of Goblins]

As the large scarab-beasties pass ovehead, a mighty crab bursts into the air from the Curly-induced water below, sounding a bit too much like an angry alligator. In the height of it's leap, the crab's larger claw fastens around one of the scarabs, and the crustacean drags it down with it.

What occurs afterwards is needlessly gory, as the scarab-thing is horrbily devoured by its submerged assailant. A Camerazard later uploads the footage to National Geographic Channel.

[Saurous]

Saurous looks over at the mess, and slaps his forehead.

"First of all, I thought the water had gone by now, and second, I didn't even know something could maul a Builder Scarab like that!"

[Lord Magtok]

Magtok eyes go wide as the carnage unfolds, and silently vows to never call Fullbladder 'crabby' ever again.

[Saurous]

The other scarabs don't even seem phased by the fact that one of their comrades had been horribly torn apart. In fact, one of them seemed to have been taping the whole event. The others make clicking noises that can be attributed to laughter.

[Castaras]

Castaras finally reads the past posts and goes to investigate the pie ingredients mine.

[Lord Magtok]

Magtok gets bored with the chicken and heads to his room to change out of the disguise. When he gets back, he has a zombie gnawing on his arm.

Saur, I hate you. I'd give you the middle finger, but this freak already chewed them both off.

[Saurous]

The necromancer watches the zombie for a few moments, and then grins.

"Oh, so that's where that one ended up."

[Lord Magtok]

Magtok winces in pain, and tries to resist the urge to do something excessively violent.

Please tell him to stop chewing on my arm, Saur.

[Saurous]

Saurous gestures to the zombie, and it stops chewing on Magtok's arm. It goes on to chew on his head. Saurous shakes his head, but is obviously trying to not burst out in laughter.

[Lord Magtok]

Magtok rips the zombie's body off, leaving the head still gnawing on his skull.

Saur, if this zombie's head isn't gone in five seconds, you're going to find yourself in the puppet dimension, forced to spend the rest of your sorry existence as a sock puppet in a world filled with people like Elmo and Kermit.

[Saurous]

The zombie's head lets go of Magtok's head.

"Quite the humorless git, aren't you?" it says as it falls to the floor. It takes a small bite out of Magtok's foot, before rolling away.

[Exachix]

Fox-Exy just watches.

[Lord Magtok]

Magtok comes back online, and looks around to see who is still online. He curses when he realizes he can't initiate Operation: StFFitH until later.

[Rex Idiotarum]

Rex looks at Exy, "Well, you're the most active lurker in this place."

[Saurous]

"I find it funny that he needs to post pointless actions that are basically him doing nothing just to remind us that he isn't dead yet."

[Vespe Ratavo]

Vespe posts a post about himself doing a pointless action just to remind everyone he isn't dead yet.

[Dartonus]

An Oozium blobs through the room and eats a sofa.

[Lord Magtok]

"I find it funny that he needs to post pointless actions that are basically him doing nothing just to remind us that he isn't dead yet."

Hmm...Vespe, I was wondering...how much is a magical fox's hide worth? Cuz I was thinking about skinning Exy in his sleep.

[Lord Fullbladder, Master of Goblins]

"Why in his sleep? Why not now? Why not with this knife?"

A knife is pulled out of Fullbladder's left sleeve's pocket. It's finds itself being tossed up and odwn a bit. It's thoughts are those of a passifist.

[Vespe Ratavo]

Hmm...Vespe, I was wondering...how much is a magical fox's hide worth? Cuz I was thinking about skinning Exy in his sleep.

Hmm...not sure. But if you try to do that, I'm afraid I'll have a nice cyborg skin up for sale.:smallamused:

[CurlyKitGirl]

Hmm...Vespe, I was wondering...how much is a magical fox's hide worth? Cuz I was thinking about skinning Exy in his sleep.

"I thought you believed he was a Good-aligned Fox-person-thing. What's the point in just skinning him. Doth thou not recall the water that reveals the Good in all people for thou shalt know and use all that thou seeks in thine quest to prove Exy a despicable spy"
"Damn. Words in my mouth again."

[Lord Magtok]

Hmm...not sure. But if you try to do that, I'm afraid I'll have a nice cyborg skin up for sale.

Meh, you wouldn't get a dime for my skin. Nobody buys human skins, especially not ones with pieces of broken metal.


Doth thou not recall the water that reveals the Good in all people for thou shalt know and use all that thou seeks in thine quest to prove Exy a despicable spy"

'Water that reveals the Good in all people?' She means one of Castaras's potions, right? :smallconfused:


"Why in his sleep? Why not now? Why not with this knife?"

I guess I could kill him now. May I borrow that knife?

[PirateMonk]

PM stands up and waves a hand, yanking everyone back to their seats in the meeting.

"Okay. Here's the problem as I see it: Well, one problem, anyway. We have no opposition, and thus either get utterly bored and never post, or be forced to fight each other to maintain some semblance of entertainment. This comes from the fact that Good simply isn't awesome enough, causing all groups formed to oppose us to inevitably dissolve, their members either wandering off or joining us.

"There are several possible solutions to this. We could work to make Good a more attractive option, but I'm sure many of us would find that idiotic and ultimately counterproductive. An alternative is to invade somewhere where the Forces of Good are already firmly in place, such as the Town, which you may remember we planned to invade before. Granted, we were not terribly successful in that venture previously, but I have a few reasons to believe we may do better now.

"First off, I have identified I viable target that has a high likelihood of responding: the new Town Defense Initiative, formed from the Tau General Nukular's mercenary army, known as the Blackout Raiders; two groups of Imperial Guardsmen; the local Thieves' Guild; the Fourth Empire, a group resembling the WWII German political party, which the mods apparently didn't object to; two leading automata manufacturers; and likely some other parties which I have forgotten. They are heavily fortified, but I am confident that our combined forces should easily crush them.

"Secondly, on the off chance that there are any living Town Council members remaining, it may be wise for are players to consult with them before proceeding.

"That is all."

PM returns to his seat.

[Lord Magtok]

I wish the answer was that simple PM, but invading the Town won't be as simple as it sounds. You see, there are several kinds of godmodding in AMEN and the Town I've observed.

1. The lazy god-modder: This is an almost excuseable kind of godmodding, which involves forgetting or being to lazy to add the word "attempt" to a post. eg: Instead of Bob attempts to cut off your arm, the post says Bon cuts off your arm

2. The humorous godmodder: A kind seen often in AMEN, where the god-modding isn't an attempt to bother other players, but merely to do funny things, like shove my head into a beehive, or use a personality potion on someone. Me and my player approve of this kind of godmodding. *Skins Exy mid-rant.*

3. The a**hole godmodder: The guy who is godmodding in an attempt to win a fight, get the upper hand in a duel, etc. They just blatantly ignore the rules, believing they are above the forum's laws.

Currently, the Town is infested with a**holes. I suspect they'll be gone by the end of the summer, driven out by boredom.

[Dartonus]

Here, here! Now hand me an eleven-twentieths wrench. I'm almost done with this deathray, at which point we can kick some TDI Butt!

[Saurous]

"Am I the only one who doesn't see anything good about invading the Town? It's primary residents now are Nightwing, Thehothead, Bookboy, The Randomizer, and Blackout. The Town is dead, and a complete hellhole now. There's nothing positive about capturing it, other than that fuzzy feeling you get when you conquer something."

[PirateMonk]

"And be replaced with more of their kind. So are you saying the whole thing is completely hopeless? Do you have a better idea?"

((Oh, by the way, I'm leaving on vacation today. If I don't have Internet access, heads will roll. :smallannoyed: ))

[Rex Idiotarum]

"Okay" So the Town isn't a good idea, in fact, this seems to be the only place in the forums that is still thriving as it did, while these places lose members, we gain them.

So, if the Town's conquest we must, and Veal's new forum takes away a lot of the group, what we need is someone on the Council. Who has been in the Town the longest? Magtok, choose a running mate, and convince everyone that you are the best for the job. Use your charisma to gain the position. With chancellorships in your control, we slowly move the Town into our control.

Second, is to move this initiative to other planes, Other forums. AMEN is such a success at getting Evil People together, we can really step up the game."

((I'm so sorry about that PM, *hides party supplies*))

[Saurous]

"Rex, you have a real skill for posting important things when almost no one else is around. And when I'm about to say something about it being so quiet.

Anyways, expanding to other planes would be a good idea, if we can actually accomplish it and not get bored with it after the first few days."

[Rex Idiotarum]

I say we get a Gaia Version going. It will take a bit of work, but after a few weeks, we'll be sporting cool Dudz.

[Lord Magtok]

I guess Rex is right. But I have a few questions.

1. Could someone give me a link to this Gaia thing?
2. Does anyone know of any other webcomic forums that might (reluctantly) accept us?
3. Did anyone see the white text in my last post?

[Rex Idiotarum]

"It isn't a Webcomic Forum, but an RP Forum. It's corny, yes, but popular. Here I'll show you"

* Rex opens a portal to Gaia (http://www.gaiaonline.com/). *

[Saurous]

"Alright, Magtok. Here are the answers to your questions:

1. http://www.gaiaonline.com/
2. I can't think of any webcomic forums off the top of my head anywhere near like this one that would accept us, so I can't help you there.
3. Yes, yes I did. No one except you and Exachix probably care, though."

[Lord Magtok]

Magtok clicks on the link, and his player begins trying to make the avatar look as Maggy and undorky as possible. He bitches quietly about having an extremely slow internet thingy, and after a few minutes, he gives up on making an avatar, and closes the window.

Meh, you guys go invade Gaia without me. I hate manga and anime anyways.

[Rex Idiotarum]

What are you talking about? I got onto it when I had Dial-Up, I didn't have any problem.

[Saurous]

"Either MP has an extremely small attention span, or perhaps his internet is even worse than Dial-Up, if that is even possible."

[Mr. Moon]

Saphire considers making a big show of the fact that she's back, then decides against it. "Gaia? Better than Neopets, I suppose. I wonder if I still have my old account there..." She says instead.

[Lord Magtok]

"Either MP has an extremely small attention span, or perhaps his internet is even worse than Dial-Up, if that is even possible."

My computer had trouble loading the low graphics version of Runescape. If it can't even handle that lousy game, there is no way it can handle manga-ish people.

Ooh look, Saphire's back. I think I'll go oversdose on Tylenol so MC can't kill me.

[Uberblah]

Uber wakes up and looks around to see what's new.

[Rex Idiotarum]

What's your ram? 16 MB/s?

[Lord Magtok]

Dunno. All that really matters to me is that it sucks. I rented KOTOR I once, and it barely was able to do that game on the lowest graphics settings, movies turned off, etc.

[Rex Idiotarum]

Well, I couldn't get KOTOR to work either,

[Uberblah]

Uber just listens, trying to understand.

[Lord Magtok]

As I said, you guys can go assualt Gaia without me. I think I'll be spending more time trying to think of a Town invasion plan that will actually work. Preferrably one that uses the same kind of sudden suprise attack that worked so well for the Fourth Empire.

[Uberblah]

UP looks at the Town thread.
Is it really worth it? I'm basically done with Town now. It seems to have died.

[Lord Magtok]

It isn't dead, beacuse the a**hole-godmodders and newbies are still there. I want to make them pay for driving out all of those Townies that made this forum such a neat place.

We will kick the wounded Town while it is down, bury it alive, and then dance on its grave! Then AMEN will be the center of all online free-form roleplaying in the playground! We will become known as the slayers of the Town, and rulers of all SMBG! Muhahahahahahaha!

[Uberblah]

UP and Uber look eager.
What can we do to help?

[Lord Magtok]

Hmm...start thinking of a dramtic entrance for AMEN. I was thinking we could arrive in a giant flying fortress of doom, but that kind of thing's been done before.

We'll also need a list of people willing and unwilling to participate. I already know Saur will never agree with me, so he's definitely not coming. MC's player will probably be busy watching Naruto, Exy will be busy being Cassie's MWS, and Fullbladder refuses to ever involve himself with the Town.

[Uberblah]

Sounds like it'll be just us then.
How about the base errupts from the ground?
I think it's been done.
Damn... Um... Falls from the sky and causes dust and such to rip through Town alerting everyone that something big arrived?
Maybe... Magtok?

[Lord Magtok]

Hmm..the fall from the sky idea is neat. What if AMEN were to crash into the Town with a large and fiery fall from the sky instead? The AMEN ites who didn't join in would be presumed dead, and the rubble would quickly reform itself into a giant citadel or something, and countless troops would pour out, assualting the godmodders with pies, robots, and maybe even the rapiers of a certain bard-barian.

[Rex Idiotarum]

Boot everyone out of, and commendeer Trog's. That will be fun.

[Uberblah]

I like 'em both.
Excellent.

[Lord Magtok]

Boot everyone out of, and commendeer Trog's. That will be fun.

Hmm...I can just imagine that now.

Me: Quick! Everyone outside! The horrible plot/Cthulhu/something really scary is coming to the tavern!

Everyone: *Screams and panics as they leave the tavern.*

Castaras: Are they gone now?

Me: Yup.

Vespe: Woo! Lets get drunk and have a party!

AMEN: *Gets drunk and has a party*

[Uberblah]

What about me?

[Lord Magtok]

You're part of the group that gets drunk and has a party. With four arms, you could probably chug down booze faster than anyone other AMENite. I can also see you as the victim of a practical joke involving the kidnapping of a small child on his birthday, and someone telling the kid you're a pinata and handing the boy a metal bat.

[Uberblah]

That's awesome!!
Hey!
No, go ahead Magtok. I like it.
And UP's word overrules Uber's.

[Lord Magtok]

Hmm..we could also have a food fight, using baked goods supplied by Cassie. We'd probably kill off countless NPCs as we did this, and maybe even cause someone to fall in love with someone else.

[Uberblah]

I'm a little opposed to the food fight...
Pansyass.
Shut up!

[Lord Magtok]

Magtok ignores the Ubers, continuing his planning.

Hmm...what would we do when the Townies realize they've been duped? Turn the foodfight against them? Laugh at 'em and teleport away? Gape in horror as Rex suddenly warps behind them and splatters blood everywhere with his speedy rapiers?

[Uberblah]

UP has a malicious tone to his voice.
Why not all three?

[Lord Magtok]

Whoa. All three? That's an even better idea. But would it be food first, then stab, then teleport? Or stab, then food, then teleport?

[Vespe Ratavo]

...
assualting the godmodders with pies, robots, and maybe even the rapiers of a certain bard-barian.


Hmm...I can just imagine that now.

Me: Quick! Everyone outside! The horrible plot/Cthulhu/something really scary is coming to the tavern!

Everyone: *Screams and panics as they leave the tavern.*

Castaras: Are they gone now?

Me: Yup.

Vespe: Woo! Lets get drunk and have a party!

AMEN: *Gets drunk and has a party*

Invading the town? Drunkenness? Killing?
Sign me up!
Vespe starts bouncing up and down with his hand raised.
Pick me! Pick me!

[Uberblah]

Food, stab, teleport. And I gotta go. Work calls in about five or so hours. And a party calls tonight so I may or may not be on tonight. See ya later.

[Lord Magtok]

Okay Vespe, you're in. We'll probably need to start at around 3pm EST two days from now, so Castaras can do the catering and get all the food to the tavern before she goes offline if she feels like joining us (damn timezones), and then everyone else will arrive whenever the hell we feel like showing up, and party as we barricade the door and tease the tavern-less Townies, who will be robbed of their favorite place to mess around.

We could play Spin the Love Potion, make Uberblah a pinata, use Exy as a rug, and do all sorts of other stuff we'll regret in the morning!

[Vespe Ratavo]

Okay Vespe, you're in. We'll probably need to start at around 3pm -5:00 GMT (or EST) two days from now, so Castaras can do the catering and get all the food to the tavern before she goes offline if she feels like joining us (damn timezones), and then everyone else will arrive whenever the hell we feel like showing up, and party as we barricade the door and tease the tavern-less Townies, who will be robbed of their favorite place to mess around.

We could play Spin the Love Potion, make Uberblah a pinata, use Exy as a rug, and do all sorts of other stuff we'll regret in the morning!

Ooh sounds fun. Well, it's almost one, better get some sleep. And yeah, I'm in GMT-5.
Vespe goes to sleep on the couch.

[thehothead]

We would regret those things? I doubt that.

[Lord Magtok]

Magtok yawns, wonders how he ranted so much at 1:40 AM, and then tries to head over to his bed before he's overcome by tiredness. He nearly runs out of energy about halfway to the door, and ends up collapsing on the floor in Junior's room, too tired to walk all the way to his own quarters.

[thehothead]

Thehothead uses Magtok as a chair.

[Castaras]

You don't know how much I hate being a GMT person. I'm always on when you lot aren't. :smallannoyed:
We're in.
Wait...you didn't consult with me?
Do you want to throw pies at the godmodders and n00bs of the Town that drove away all good roleplaying?
Throwing Pies? What about personality potions?
Sure. If you want.
In.
*sigh* Then you need to get back into the base with those pie ingredients you "mined" and make pies.
...I'm not stupid you know.
Can I have a second opinion on that? :smallamused:
Hmph. :smallannoyed:

[V Junior]

Junior looks up, excited.

FOOD FIGHT WHOOOO!

However...

I'll not join in with the getting drunk part. My player is opposed to alcahol, and won't let me. Not that I'm bothered, anyway. Only English people will get this bit. Face bovvered? Face look bovvered? Booze? Drink? I ain't BOVVERED!

Cookie for the refrence. Also, I GOT CITY OF HEROES/VILLIANS!!! WOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[Exachix]

Only English people will get this bit. Face bovvered? Face look bovvered? Booze? Drink? I ain't BOVVERED!

Exachix's eyes glow a sullen red of anger and Junior explodes in a brilliant light.

"If I hear anyone say anything like that again I will kill you, lock your soul in a gemstone and feed it to the devil lords."

[CurlyKitGirl]

Exachix's eyes glow a sullen red of anger and Junior explodes in a brilliant light.

"If I hear anyone say anything like that again I will kill you, lock your soul in a gemstone and feed it to the devil lords."

"I agree, except with mighty whales crashing down upon V Junior. She also failed to notice that Magtok, her love is in her room. I wouldn't mind doing this town invasion either. I'll be the DJ."

Curly nips off to her room to search for CDs and really good music.

[Saurous]

Saurous walks out of his room, wiping sleep out of his eyes, and tossing his zombie plushie back over his shoulder into the room.

"Ugh, the one time I decide to not stay up all night, you guys go on and plan an invasion of the Town that could actually be successful."

[Lord Magtok]

Hmm...we can't just party. We have to mess with them in other ways, too.

Magtok shoves thehothead off of himself, and begins writing up plans for the invasion.


Phase 1-Tavern Takeover: We kick out the Townies, and rob them of their favorite RPing location. We then spend the rest of the day/night/whatever barricading the doors, beating the **** out of any visitors, and having a great time.

Phase 2-Propaganda/Mental Warfare: We set up some sor of intercom thingy, and constantly blare messages about the futility of fighting AMEN. Even if they were previously capable of uniting and stopping us before, the drop in morale will keep them from doing this.

Phase 3-The True Death of the Town: We spread our influence as much as possible, moving to the station, building an HQ thread if we are kicked out of the tavern by this point, and corrupting the place as much as possible with our twistd selves.

Magtok makes copies of his plans, and passes them out to everybody.

So what do you guys think of Phase 2 and 3? Think we should do them, or just stick with Phase 1 and then leave? :smallconfused:

[Castaras]

Phase 1 seems like the most fun. I'm not so sure about phase 2, but phase 3 sounds good. Maybe that could be going on while we're in the middle of partying in the tavern...

Phase 1 will be the one I'm looking forward to most though.

[Lord Magtok]

Maybe I should edit the other two a little...

Magtok takes another piece of paper, and tries to figure out how to make the rest of the plan more fun.

[Madmal]

Diego peeks on the plan...

I really hope you detail Phase 1 better... if there's any godmodders there now...it 's not gonna be easy...

[Vespe Ratavo]

In phase two we should also blare annoying songs, and in phase three we should also be annoying as possible.

Wee! Can't wait! This is gonna rock!

[Madmal]

yeah, it seems you'll surely shine on those two phases...:smallamused:
Diego smirks

[Lord Magtok]

So...should we plan this out for a few more days, or start tomorrow? I think we should wait to see if anyone has any good ideas or objections to part of the plan before we start this.


In phase two we should also blare annoying songs, and in phase three we should also be annoying as possible.

Good idea. Can you think of anything that might work? Something catchy, yet annoying at the same time?


I really hope you detail Phase 1 better... if there's any godmodders there now...it 's not gonna be easy...

We're AMEN. We reinvented godmodding, and turned into a form of entertainment. I'm sure we can handle a few fools with no RPing experience.

[Vespe Ratavo]

Good idea. Can you think of anything that might work? Something catchy, yet annoying at the same time?


Off the top of my head, Beat It, Badger Badger Badger, Mangos, and just about everything else in Weebls stuff.

[Castaras]

Good idea. Can you think of anything that might work? Something catchy, yet annoying at the same time?


"Oh my word this tune is annoying... (http://www.albinoblacksheep.com/flash/annoying.php)

"I know something that gets on your nerves
Gets on your nerves
Gets on your nerves
I know something that gets on your nerves
And this is how it goes..."

"Nobody likes me
Everybody hates me
Thinks I'll go and eat worms
Long thin slimy ones
Short fat furry ones
See how they wriggle and squirm

You bite off their heads
And suck out the juice
And throw their skins away
Nobody knows how I can thrive on
Worms three times a day

The long thin slimy ones
Slip down easily
The short fat furry ones stick
And the juice of them all
Gets stuck round your teeth
And the juice goes
Heeheeheehee Errrk..."

[Exachix]

Fox-Exy just watches, slightly afraid.

[Lord Magtok]

Those should work well.

Hmm...what if we got some kind of banner or some other arty thing to mark the AMEN Assualt? Then we'd be unable to just forget about it like the last Town invasion plan, because we'd be constantly reminded that someone wnet through a lot of trouble for this, and that it'd be unfair to let everyone down by giving up on the plan.

Magtok turns and grins in Exy's direction for a moment.

And what if we desecrated Inari's Temple with grafitti and blew stuff up inside?

[Exachix]

Exachix hmms.

"We'd probably find my Player's Town Character."

[thehothead]

As well as my players 6 or so.

[Mr. Moon]

"If we're going to be taking down Iny's temple, then I have a bit of an idea..." Saphire walks in, with a male half-elf behind her. "I'd like you all to meet Damian, high preist of Banthulu."

"Banjulhu, actualy." Damain says.

"Whatever. Take a seat, they may not post for a bit. Most of 'em are off line."

"Then why are you posting?"

"I'm bored." Saphire shrugs and begins to sing to herself. "Oh my word this tune is annoying..."

[Castaras]

I'm here.

Castaras smiles slightly.

[Saurous]

*Yawn* "I'm still here. Mostly.
Would you care to tell us of your idea, O Mighty Saphire?"

[Mr. Moon]

"Think about it. Banthulu-" "Banjulhu." "whoever, is the god of manipulation and decit. It'd make sense that he would want to... spread his control to other areas, perhaps even willing to destroy his siblings in the process. Damian has devoted himself to the service of said diety. If he were to find out that a new orginization was willing to aid him, even indirectly, in aiding him in carrying out the will of Banjulhu, he'd jump at the chance."

[Castaras]

Eh, maybe. I'd personally be happy just to desecrate Inari's just for the fun of it. Maybe in the name of the FSM, but otherwise, just for me...

[Saurous]

"Wasn't the Church of Bajulhu made in the original plot to take over the Town? What do you mean by 'find out about a new organization'? Other than that little continuity nitpick, it sounds like a good plan."

[Mr. Moon]

"I was created to help them?"

"Just a little."

Damian sighs.

"Anyway, if you're going to nitpick, fine. If he were to find out about an orginization, that better?"

[Exachix]

Exachix listens.

"Why not just desecrate the whole town?"

[Saurous]

"Whatever."

Saurous looks over at Exachix.

"I'm thinking that is what we are going to do. We're just planning out individual attacks on various places."

[Madmal]

Diego suddenly spouts...
easy. desecrating brings zombies in. zombies are dumb. zombies sucks.

hmmm, me hungry, anything in the fridge not poisoned?

[Castaras]

Poisoned food is *Points to the non-cassie kitchen* Thata way. Unpoisoned is *points at Cassie's kitchen* thata way. And if you believe that then you're more stupid than I take you for.

[Saurous]

Diego suddenly spouts...
easy. desecrating brings zombies in. zombies are dumb. zombies suck.

hmmm, me hungry, anything in the fridge not poisoned?

"Actually, Desecration brings in all types of undead, not just zombies. And in response to your insult towards zombies..."

Saurous abruptly pulls a pistol from his pocket, and shoots Diego in the head.

[Madmal]

Diego sighs, stops the bullet in mid-air, turns it into a chocolate pellet and eats it...

well, excuuuuuse me if i don't like rooting, mindless creatures....i specially don't like the rot...esqueletons are cooler...

[Exachix]

"Actually, Desecration brings in all types of undead, not just zombies. And in response to your insult towards zombies..."

Saurous abruptly pulls a pistol from his pocket, and shoots Diego in the head.

"Actually, a undead gatherer will do that. Desecration just lets them be there without being in pain from it's flip. I think."

[Lord Magtok]

I honestly don't care whether or not undead make the temple their new unholy breeding grounds. I just want to see Inari (and her spy) mourning the loss of their beloved temple.

[Saurous]

"Ooookay, so now what do we plan on doing? Continue with our planning of the inavsion, or go on with our regular madness until we decide to attack?"

[Lord Magtok]

Someone should make a "Town Attack" thread in the wiki forum. Not me, though. My player is busy. He just got the generator thingy to work for the character sheet thing.

Saur, you do it.

[Saurous]

"How about...No."

[Mr. Moon]

"Tell ya what. Let me in to the damn page and I will."

[Lord Magtok]

"Tell ya what. Let me in to the damn page and I will."

If I knew how, I would. Go PM Vespe.

[Saurous]

"Tell ya what. Let me in to the damn page and I will."

"I'm afraid that only Vespe or Rex (I think) could do that, miss."

[Mr. Moon]

Saphire sighs, sticking her hands in her pockets. "You know, you guys keep on making this thing overly complicated." She kicks a peble someone tracked inside and wanders off.

[Saurous]

"The whole stupid Wikidot thing is overly complicated."

SP crosses his arms, and walks off to do something not productive.

Meanwhile, Saurous decides to use the holodeck that has always been in the base. Yup, always been there.

[Rex Idiotarum]

Okay, Moon_Called, you're all set.

[Lord Fullbladder, Master of Goblins]

"Saurous had best beware--afterall, Moriarty lurks there."

Fullbladder leans forward in his chair, taking up the pose of the classic painting 'The Thinker'. He appears to think of something. Then, however, his periferal vision picks up the sun setting early for no real reason, and before he can do anything but raise his right eyebrow, his skin, armour, and basically the entirety of his being becomes cold, hard, and grey. Further inspection would yeild that he is stone, through and through.

Cold, unseeing eyes are locked in the direction of where one of various AMENites had stood at the time.

[Saurous]

Saurous takes a look at the petrified Fullbladder for a moment.

"Hmm, strange. I had no idea that Fullbladder had the same problem that most Tolkien-esque trolls have. Odd that it is in reverse, though."

[Lord Magtok]

"I'm afraid that only Vespe or Rex (I think) could do that, miss."

Vespe made me a moderator (I think), but I haven't the slightest idea how to use my modly powers.

[V Junior]

Junior looks around her.

How could I make this more fun... hmm...

A pair of meerkats with radio collars walk in.

Meerkat. Meer meer kat meer kat.
MEER?! GAAAAH!

[Saurous]

Several loud explosions come from the holodeck, and a few minutes later Saurous limps out. He's covered in bruises and burn marks, has a beartrap attatched to one foot, and has a large sword sticking out of his chest.

"I'm okay!"

He then collapses to the floor.

[Exachix]

"I agree."

He summons some chicken and devours it.

[Lord Magtok]

Magtok walks over to Saur's body, and check to see if the necromancer still has a pulse. Regardless of whether he finds one, he slits the elf's wrists with a rusty knife, and mumbles something that sounds like "That could've been me."

[Saurous]

After a few minutes, Saurous respawns, and walks over to his corpse. He drags it over to the furnace, and tosses it in.

"Just a notice for everyone, Professor Moriarty appears to have taken over the Danger Room or holodeck or whatever it is we call it."

[Lord Magtok]

Professor who?

Magtok goes to wikipedia, and then finds out why that name seemed familiar.

Nevermind. So should we just lock up the holodeck and wait for him to starve to death?

[Saurous]

"Oh, perhaps I should have said 'the virtual representation of Professor Moriarty'. I don't think a computer simulation of him will starve."

[Castaras]

Can't we just...oh I dunno...send a few zombies or pies or something after him?

[Lord Magtok]

We could. But that would take the fun out of it. One of us should head in there and fight him until his virtual representation is deleted or something.

Saur, you do it.

[Saurous]

"I'm not going back in there unless someone else helps. He has complete control over the entire Danger Room, and can basically do anything.

...why don't we just reboot the holodeck? We may be able to get to the control panel without him obliterating us."

[Castaras]

Eh whatever. I'm not much of a technical expert, so I'll leave it to you two to work on this.

Castaras turns and heads back into the kitchen.

[Lord Magtok]

Magtok grabs an AK-47 from the armory, and a copy of HK-47.

Alright Saur, lets go.

"I am quite eager to participate in some unadulterated violence."

Don't pay him any attention, he's just coming along as a bodyguard.

[Saurous]

"I know I'm going to regret this."

Saurous begins heading in the direction of the holodeck/Danger Room, gesturing for Magtok to follow.

[Lord Magtok]

Magtok follows, and his eyes dart in every direction, fearful of an attack coming from any direction.

[Saurous]

The mechanical door opens with a loud hissing noise as the group enters. The room inside appears to be a large study, with a large fireplace on the opposite side of the room. Bookshelves line the walls, and a large chair is sat facing towards the fireplace, and an aged man sits in it. He doesn't seem to notice the group enter.

Saurous draws his katana out of it's sheath. He doesn't move to far away from the holodeck entrance, ready for something to happen.

[Lord Magtok]

Magtok puts his back to a wall, and quickly writes on a piece of paper, which he swiftly hands to Saur.


I'm going to toss a smoke grenade at him, and then fire into the smoke with HK-47. While he tries to deal with that, you can sneak up on him and stab him in the back. Your kind have some sort of low-light vision thing, right?

[Saurous]

Saurous nods, and quickly rushes behind a bookcase to use as cover.

Meanwhile, Moriarty shifts in his seat slightly, and moves his hand. A wireframe in the shape of a tea cup materializes in the air, before shifting into an actual cup. He takes a sip out of it.

[Lord Magtok]

Magtok and HK-47 do eaxactly as the paper said they would.

[Saurous]

Saurous rushes along one wall towards the edge of the smoke, and attempts to attack Moriarty. He shouts, and the smoke clears. From wall to wall is a massive group of gansters, each armed with a Chigaco typewriter, all aimed at Magtok and HK.

Behind the group, Saurous faces Moriarty, who had apparently lost the chair, and somehow armed himself with a pair of revolvers, both of which are aimed at Saurous. The Holmes villain smirks.

"Oh, come now. Did you honestly expect to be able to get rid of me that easily?"

The line of gangsters then open fire at Magtok and HK-47.

[Lord Magtok]

Oh, shi-

Just before Magtok can finish what he was going to say, HK-47 shoves Magtok behind him, and allows the bullets to hit him.

Advisory: It is not possible to destroy the master. It is suggested that you run while my blaster warms up."

[Saurous]

The gangsters rush forward, and continue firing. They focus their fire a bit more, trying to keep on HK-47's "head".

Saurous and Moriarty remain frozen, waiting for the other to make a move.

[Lord Magtok]

Magtok manages to crawl out of the spot the robot tossed him, just in time to watch the droid's head fall off.

Damnit, I knew I should've made that thing's head bulletproof.

Magtok grabs the broken droid, and uses it as cover as he tries to come up with a plan. A few bullets whiz by his head, and nearly kill him before he comes up with a plan.

He shoves a thermal detonater down the robot's "neck", and tosses it into the crowd of mafiosos.

5, 4, 3, 2...

[Saurous]

The explosions scatters the gangsters in all directions, and they all slowly disappear. Unfortunately, another group of gangsters manifest, and approach Magtok.

Moriarty apparently gets tired of standing around, and fires both revolvers at Saurous. The necromancer dives out of the way, and then rushes towards the crime boss, and swings his katana at his leg. Moriarty shouts as the blade cuts open his ankle, and he ducks back, firing another round at Saurous. One of the bullets connect, striking Saurous in the arm. He also jumps backwards, and takes cover behind a bookcase.

[Lord Magtok]

Magtok quickly attaches an odd little gravity-controlling device to his hand. If the gangsters open fire, he just raises his hand, and makes them fall to the ground, imitating what Neo did in the Matrix.

[Raistlin1040]

Raistlin appears in, wearing his signiture armor and wearing his hair in the long dirty way.

Thank gods that potion wore off.

He pulls out his Uber Katana and Doom Crossbow and begins to charge at the gangsters. He then proceeds to slaughter them all. After he's done, he jumps back by Magtok.

So what's going on here?

[Saurous]

A few moments after Raistlin destroys the mafia rejects, another group slowly begins building up. Yes, there's a near infinite amount of them, but having full control of the holodeck helps.

Meanwhile, Moriarty pulls himself up, and fires at the bookshelf Saurous was hiding behind. He uses the remainder of his ammo, but manages to make the bookcase collapse. Saurous makes a quick rush towards the professor, and swiftly kicks him across the face, and then stabs his katana into his chest. Moriarty screams in pain, and dissipates.

[Lord Magtok]

Magtok grabs the offline body of Raistlin Exy and uses his magical powers to blast the swarms of made-men.

Saur, y'know that invasion we're planning? I conteacted a few former Townies. Destro Yersul, Nevrmore, and even our enemy the Chilli God have agreed to join, wanting revenge against the godmodders. If they come to say hi, don't attack them.

[Vespe Ratavo]

Magtok grabs the offline body of Raistlin Exy and uses his magical powers to blast the swarms of made-men.

Saur, y'know that invasion we're planning? I conteacted a few former Townies. Destro Yersul, Nevrmore, and even our enemy the Chilli God have agreed to join, wanting revenge against the godmodders. If they come to say hi, don't attack them.

Sweet! Vengeance is ours!
Vespe starts stabbing a voodoo doll of Nightwing.

[Lord Magtok]

((Please post any further stuff about the war in our wiki. They won't be able to see what you do if you do it there. Not that they'll be looking at our thread anyway.

And please post there! I'm lonely, and have several important things to say!))

Magtok notices Saur and Raistlin go offline, so he sneaks out of the holodeck and decides to do that plot later.

[Saurous]

Saurous sighs, and walks out of the holodeck, mumbling something about dealing with Moriarty in a little while.

[Lord Magtok]

Magtok wanders around the base, and then heads to his room.

Hmm...what should I bring for the invasion? Which avatar should I use? The hooded? The unhooded? And should I try to rewrite the battle plan? We have a lot of former Townies who'll be joining us (most of whom can't be mentioned right now. I'll tell you all who's participating in the wiki.)

[Uberblah]

Hello. I'm here and getting off soon due to weariness from new job. They say it'll be easier after this week though. Anyway, I'm still in on the Town invasion. Just to let you all know. Ok, night.

[Lord Magtok]

Okay, bye.

Magtok gets bored, so he appoints himself Head of the AMEN division of the Town Assault Force. He also whines and tries to get someone to post in the wiki, as he needs to list all the former Townies who will be joining AMEN. ((And there's a hell of a lot of 'em, too.))

[Castaras]

In the kitchen, all of Castaras' old plans are gathering dust as she prepares the pies and potions she'll need for the invasion. Nearby, some more intelligent pie golems are creating more golems, all for the attack.

This should be good.

Castaras hmms, looking over to a nearby animated fruit bowl. It starts opening the cupboards, talking to the residents inside. The wine barrels in the storehouse get picked up and carried over to Castaras. She looks over them.

Passable. Continue with the preparations.

[Vespe Ratavo]

A large man in a white suit carries in a fairly large box.
Vespe signs for it and unpacks the box. It appears to be a Nightwing clone.

Five minutes later...ooh. Ouch, you don't want to know.

I mean, you really don't want to know what he did with the shower head. *shudders*
...
I know what you're thinking sicko.
Nothing like that.
Worse.

[Saurous]

Saurous shudders at what Vespe did to Nightwing.

"Shouldn't you be saving violent murders like that for the invasion itself?

I didn't even know you could use a magnet like that."

[Vespe Ratavo]

Sorry Saur. I just needed to get this right. You really only have one shot with the shower head, you know.
And about the hedge trimmers...okay, I really don't have an explanation for the hedge trimmers.
And yeah, the machine gun/magnet thing was pretty grotesque.
And I suppose I could have restrained myself from the meat cleaver.
And yes, the chainsaw was a bit of overkill.

[CurlyKitGirl]

Curly is celebrating. "Hey, Magtok got all the nominations he needs to stand for council membership. Now, all we need is propaganda-which is something I'm very good at. My player is too."
Curly walks determinedly to her room muttering about hexed dancing shoes...

"Hey, anyone know who's made a Town character, 'cos we need one to go to Town right? I haven't and I need to get around to doing one, I just don't have the hang of yet."

In Curly's room she is unpacking boxes of shoes, books and a rather nasty rusted double-edged short sword; with a few modifications. And the always trusty bread knife. Good for anything, and you can vut bread with it.:smallsmile: "Now all I need is a way to sell them, or give them away. hey, Magtok! Promo gift.

Vote for Magtok and get the latset uber-stylish adventuring trainers/shoes. With a free look changer. Create a unique look all of your own! Just Vopte For Magtok, Councillor of the Town. You can trust him:smallwink:

Something like that anyway."

Edit: "Why do it to a clone, when you could do it to the real thing. And why did you do that? With the hairbrush and the three white mice...?" A green tinge comes over Curly's face, but she controls herslf and resumes planning stuff.

[Saurous]

"That's nice, Vespe. But did it have to be done in the middle of the living room?"

[Lord Magtok]

Magtok heads outside to trim the hedges...and then runs away with his eyes wide and filled with terror when he finds the hedge trimmers.

Next, he decides to go find the meat cleaver so he can cut someone up for cybernetic surgery. Once again, he runs away in terror.

Then, he decides to go take a shower. You can already guess what happens next.

Lastly, he decides to destroy all chainsaws in the base, so that his phobia of them can't be used against him. After spotting the chainsaw Vespe used, he dies of fright.

[Vespe Ratavo]

"That's nice, Vespe. But did it have to be done in the middle of the living room?"

Er....
Yes. Yes it did.


Magtok heads outside to trim the hedges...and then runs away with his eyes wide and filled with terror when he finds the hedge trimmers.

Next, he decides to go find the meat cleaver so he can cut someone up for cybernetic surgery. Once again, he runs away in terror.

Then, he decides to go take a shower. You can already guess what happens next.

Lastly, he decides to destroy all chainsaws in the base, so that his phobia of them can't be used against him. After spotting the chainsaw Vespe used, he dies of fright.

*falls over laughing*
Wow. If that killed him, I want to see what happens when he finds what I did with his PS2.

[Saurous]

Magtok heads outside to trim the hedges...and then runs away with his eyes wide and filled with terror when he finds the hedge trimmers.

Next, he decides to go find the meat cleaver so he can cut someone up for cybernetic surgery. Once again, he runs away in terror.

Then, he decides to go take a shower. You can already guess what happens next.

Lastly, he decides to destroy all chainsaws in the base, so that his phobia of them can't be used against him. After spotting the chainsaw Vespe used, he dies of fright.

Saurous tries to not burst out in laughter. He runs off to the labs, and slams the door behind him. Loud laughter can be heard from the room.

[V Junior]

COCO YOU IDIOT!!!!
Oops!

Two meerkats come rushing in, evidently speaking Common. They are screaming.

COCO! SENTRY! What have you done this time?
We were in the dark, and we found a candle...
...but it was really dynamite! RUN!
AHHH!

[CurlyKitGirl]

Magtok heads outside to trim the hedges...and then runs away with his eyes wide and filled with terror when he finds the hedge trimmers.

Next, he decides to go find the meat cleaver so he can cut someone up for cybernetic surgery. Once again, he runs away in terror.

Then, he decides to go take a shower. You can already guess what happens next.

Lastly, he decides to destroy all chainsaws in the base, so that his phobia of them can't be used against him. After spotting the chainsaw Vespe used, he dies of fright.

*laughs so hard she drops eveything she's carrying* It's a few chainsaws.
She laughing to herself she picks up the contents of the box and staggers off to her room; still laughing rather loud.

[Saurous]

"Junior, what is with you and the uncessarily pale text colors? I actually like being able to read something without my eyes burning."

Saurous exits the labs, still snickering. He also appears to be wearing a black glove over his left hand. The glove has wicked-looking hooks at the end of each finger.

[Lord Magtok]

The next Magtok clone shows up, and somehow fails to see everything Vespe did.

[Saurous]

Saurous hides the glove-thing behind his back, and shouts over at Magtok.

"Magtok! Could I test something on you for a moment?"

[CurlyKitGirl]

Curly says in a sing-song voice "Freddie Kreuger.. I hope he does go to Saurous, I really do. And this Magtok must be partially blind not to see the mess Vespe made on the carpet; and the walls; windows; oh, and the ceiling. OMG! How the hell did that get up there?!" Curly points a quavering finger to a quivering purple globule of Nightwings' innards dangling off a light bulb, slowly roatind and filling the base with a meaty smell.

Preparations continue as normal. Curly gets on the phone and leaves a message with Smudge to see if she wants some fun too.

[Exachix]

Fox-Exy has his spellbook open and is actually memorising spells.

[Lord Magtok]

Just how stupid do you think I am, Saur? Do you really think I'm going to let you test whatever sick and disturbing weapon you have behind your back on me?

[Saurous]

"Well, I do think of you as being very unintelligent, but I guess your not that idiotic. Oh, well, it's not like I needed your permission anyways."

Saurous swings his left hand forward, and the hooks burst out of the weapon, attatched to very long chains that somehow fit inside the glove. The hooks quickly fly towards Magtok, aimed for his chest.

[Vespe Ratavo]

Don't worry Magtok, I'll save you!
Vespe pushes Magtok out of the way. Unfortunately, Magtok is shoved right into Vespe's Bucket O' Running Chainsaws.
Whew, that was close, huh Magtok? Magtok?

[Saurous]

Saurous sighs, his target lost. The chains and hooks retract back into the glove, which he promptly takes off and puts into a small bag.

"Well, the firing and retraction both work. I should probably put an enchantment that will allow me to aim it better once the chains are out..."

Saurous hmms, and walks back into the labs.

[CurlyKitGirl]

"Someone will be. That I can garuentee. Vespe here yet?" Curly makes awide berth around Saur and goes to the front door. A cat flap appears in the front door. Curly is looking at it expectantly.
A cat walks through the cat flap and starts making suggestions on weapons and the like. "This cat is called Smudge, she is a familiar for want of a better word."
Yeah, and I'm probably smarter than you too.
"Yet you still need people with opposable thumbs"
Just because you have opposable thumbs doesn't make you the Lord of All Creation. We only need you because you can open doors and cans.

Curly looks at Vespe's act.
"Oh, I was right after all. Nice blood spatter too."

[Lord Magtok]

Magtok is reduced to a mess of gore, blood, smashed robotics, and scattered body parts when he falls into the bucket.

The next Magtok clone shows up, and decides to hide in his room for a little while.

[Saurous]

Saurous exits the labs, holding up two maps, one of the Town, and the other of the AMEN base.

"Huh. That's strange. It seems that Magtok's room is number 1408 on that floor."

Saurous grins.

[PirateMonk]

PM smashes through the AMEN roof, screaming. Upon smashing into the ground, he liquefies and explodes bloodily. While the Chef gathers up the blood, a clone walks over to Magtok, grumbling.

[Raistlin1040]

Raistlin appears.

We're attacking the Town? Cool. I get to kill Kyrian.

[Saurous]

"You just now realize that we're invading Town? Where have you been for the past five pages?"

[Raistlin1040]

Reading Bleach. Also developing the mighty Axe of Noob Slaying.
He unveils a large axe that glows black. On the blade is a little doodle of a dead Nightwing/

[Saurous]

"I see. Well, Nightwing doesn't have a chance, then."

Saurous shakes his head, getting the feeling that the joke had been used before.

[Raistlin1040]

Exactly
He opens up his Bag of Holding and draws out the Uberkatana and the Doom Crossbow. He lays them on the ground and puts the Axe next to them.

[Saurous]

Saurous walks away from Raistlin and his collection of weaponry, and goes to take a seat on the couch. He pulls out his glove weapon, and begins putting various enchantments on it.

[Lord Magtok]

Saurous exits the labs, holding up two maps, one of the Town, and the other of the AMEN base.

"Huh. That's strange. It seems that Magtok's room is number 1408 on that floor."

Saurous grins.

Yes, sadly. I've been trying to have my room changed ever since I first read that short story by Stephen King, but Rex won't listen.

Speaking of which, are we going to have a place to stay when we visit the Town? Will we just take all of the filthy rooms on the second floor of the tavern (which have been used by couples a lot)? Or will we just go offline on the floor, leaving ourselves exposed? If we end up making a thread, we're going to have to do some Dimension Lock thingy to keep out teleporters, and make it as indestructible as the tavern.

[Saurous]

"Isn't there already an AMEN base in the Town?"

One of the hooks on Saurous's gauntlet abruptly fires, and latches onto the ceiling.

"Dammit!"

[Raistlin1040]

Raistlin takes out an ordinary dagger and begins to tinker with it.

[Lord Magtok]

It has Vespe's face carved into it. I don't want to be sleeping inside a Vespe's left nostril.

Magtok polishes some droid, and begins lining them up.

Standard Android Infantry, you will be led by Rold Gamkot. He is a clone of me filled with all kinds of tactical strategies, manuevers, and other stuff. He will not tolerate failure, and has a long history of terminating troops who didn't meet his expectations. His name is an anagram of mine, because my player was too lazy to come up with anything else.

Hand, Bird, and Spider bots, you will be known as Magtok's Dark Hand. The title means nothing, I just think it sounds neat. You will be in charge of taking up space in this post, and making LordVader wastes his time reading this useless post, which I know he will be doing, as he is SPYING on us. Hmm...on second thought, you guys will be my surveillance, stealth, scouts, etc.

The rest of you already know your positions. Now head to the training grounds and prepare yourselves.

[Vhaidara]

Raistlin appears.

We're attacking the Town? Cool. I get to kill Kyrian.

Bookboy pops in
No luck, he left. Along with Vael, and Fenric, and Deadly, and someone else that was on council, and Sophistemon. Also, there's someone trying to join the Town branch. And one of Nightwing's characters is protected.
He pops out.

[Saurous]

"...Rold Gamkot. Rold. Gamkot. Ugh, the laziness burns."

[PirateMonk]

"How should I contribute? Should I just throw in vast armies and avoid making an appearance in case the enemy players respond in kind?"

[Raistlin1040]

A random NPC of RP's walks up to Magtok.

"Uhh, Mr Magtok sir? I have a a message to you from Raistlin."

[Lord Magtok]

"...Rold Gamkot. Rold. Gamkot. Ugh, the laziness burns."

I know, I know. I hate his anagrams, too. Now lets avoid saying anything important. They're watching us.

[PirateMonk]

"I'd love to chat on the wiki, but by some oversight both Vespe and Rex seem to have failed to make me a member."

[Lord Magtok]

"How should I contribute? Should I just throw in vast armies and avoid making an appearance in case the enemy players respond in kind?"

No. Make PirateMonk a character instead of a player. Don the divine image of Belkar, and smite them with your lord's unholy might!


"Uhh, Mr Magtok sir? I have a a message to you from Raistlin."

Yes, what is it? I'm very busy pretending to be very busy, so make it quick.

[PirateMonk]

No. Make PirateMonk a character instead of a player. Don the divine image of Belkar, and smite them with your lord's unholy might!

"I already am a character. Hello. See me?"

[Raistlin1040]

"He says he wants you to umm outfit his Delta Squad with cyborg abilities and skills for the upcoming invasion."

[Vespe Ratavo]

Ooh, that reminds me. Magtok, I don't suppose you could give me super strength cybernetic limbs? It'll give you an excuse to cut off my arms and legs.

[Lord Magtok]

"I already am a character. Hello. See me?"

Then I don't see any problem.


"He says he wants you to umm outfit his Delta Squad with cyborg abilities and skills for the upcoming invasion."

Okay. Tell him to get his squads to the labs. I'll give 'em eyes with night vision, nanothingies to heal them from the inside, and some stuff I can't talk about where those SPYING METAGAMERS can hear us.


Ooh, that reminds me. Magtok, I don't suppose you could give me super strength cybernetic limbs? It'll give you an excuse to cut off my arms and legs.

Magtok pauses for a moment.

You're saying I...can cut off youe limbs...and put cybernetics in their place?

Magtok's head nearly explodes from an overwhelming amount of sadistic glee, but he manages to survive, and escorts Vespe to the labs.

By the way, I don't have anything to stop the pain, so this is going to hurt. A lot.

[Raistlin1040]

RP rises from a shadow.

I'll have him PM ya K Magtok?

[zeratul]

Zeratul, who was in a cryogenic freezing chamber all this time wanders out. "Magtok can I have some towels? And a blow torch?"

[Vhaidara]

Bookboy's voice is heard
Hey Zer, I think you should see what's happening in the saga thread!

[Lord Magtok]

Sure.

Magtok, being the cool frood that he is, immediately hands Zeratul his trusty towel.

[Vespe Ratavo]

Magtok pauses for a moment.

You're saying I...can cut off youe limbs...and put cybernetics in their place?

Magtok's head nearly explodes from an overwhelming amount of sadistic glee, but he manages to survive, and escorts Vespe to the labs.

By the way, I don't have anything to stop the pain, so this is going to hurt. A lot.

Cool with me. :smallbiggrin: