AMEN XI: Raiders of the Lost Pie

[Vhaidara]

Oh well. Getting killed is kind of an initiation right. About 50 times on my first day, and until recently, whenever I stuck around. Vespe and I found we had something in common, namely a love of video games.

[Lord Fullbladder, Master of Goblins]

"Uncertainty principle? Honestly, my good man, you'll have to do better than that."

Fullbladder materializes, bathing suit and all, at the opposite end of the tub. He also appears to have found a little pipe that blows bubbles instead of smoke.

"My back may be a little creaky, but I'm just as sharp as ever. Oh, and thanks. I haven't washed my feet in a while."

To that effect, the goblin's reeking foot sticks itself in Bath's face.

[Mr. Moon]

Moon Called watches the occurances with Fullbladder and Dr. Bath, shrugs, and decides to ignore them, hoping that way they may go away. She walks over to a T.V. and turns on a game. It's one of Saphire's. Yaoi Adventure II. Her eyes go wide and she turns the PS2 off.

[Korith]

*Casts Mind Blank on self*

[Vhaidara]

*Shoots TV, Moon_Called, and Saphire. With the RFECL.*

[Saurous]

Moon Called watches the occurances with Fullbladder and Dr. Bath, shrugs, and decides to ignore them, hoping that way they may go away. She walks over to a T.V. and turns on a game. It's one of Saphire's. Yaoi Adventure II. Her eyes go wide and she turns the PS2 off.

"Yaoi Adven...I didn't even know there was even games like that."

"Yeah, I think there are quite a few. Why Saphire has one I don't...well, she is Saphire."

Saurous also makes a shield that blocks out horribly contrived weaponry around the nearby area.

[Dr. Bath]

"I see you are not a man not to be confounded by scientific babble, but it was a necessary phalasy to separate to whey from the curd, so to speak. It's really the use fact that nothing can be known for certain, so I am drifting in and out in existance as I am sensed and ignored by those nearby. When ignored I cease to exist, when noticed again I am where I wish to be. Sort of. Ish." as this is being said, the bath fades and Lord Fullbladder falls to the floor. Dr. Bath is now back in his original position (still in bath).

"Pick yourself up, old chap. You look rather silly sitteing like that."

((have a picture. of Saurous
http://i60.photobucket.com/albums/h24/solarturtle/corpseboy.png
I was very bored))

[Lord Fullbladder, Master of Goblins]

"I say."

Fullbladder picks himself up, dusts himself off, and pulls at Bat'leth from seemingly nowhere.

"Put on some pants and die with honour, damn you!"

[Mr. Moon]

Moon Called takes out this disk, snaps it in half, and tosses it at Saphire. Her plot sheild makes Moon Called miss, as does Bookboy's... thingy. All three of them. "I'm sorry you had to see that." She mutters, making a mental note to check what game is in the system before turning it on.

((Edit: Hey, Saur, you look sexy. ^_^))

[Saurous]

((have a picture. of Saurous
http://i60.photobucket.com/albums/h24/solarturtle/corpseboy.png
I was very bored))

((Wow. Nice. That looks really good.))

Saurous shakes his head.

"I think it's strange how perverted Saphire can be.
I guess that's what makes her a die-hard anime fangirl."

[Vhaidara]

(Rapid-Fire Exploding Chainsaw Launcher.)

So am I. You should OOTS-style that thing and put it on the House of Horrors thread. That would be horror.

[Dr. Bath]

"I very sorry, Fullbladder, but I am engrossed in another task at this time. But if you insist, then the gauntlet has been well and truely thrown."

[Mr. Moon]

"I'm starting to think she only does it for the reactions it gets." Moon Called says, rumadging for any good, porn-free games, and settles on a game with:
Fullbladder, Vespe, try this. You'll enjoy it. It has PLOT. -Saphire taped to it. She lifts the label and reads the tittle. Champions of Norath. Moon Called shrugs, and turns it on.

[PirateMonk]

"We have an avatarist! \/\/007! Uh, I mean, another avatarist."

[Lord Fullbladder, Master of Goblins]

"Ah, screw it. I try and I try, but all anyone ever gets is a bloody nose at best. Maybe I should go back to messing with people's minds. To the Bladdermobile!"

He runs out, to the classic spinny superhero music.

[Saurous]

"We have an avatarist! \/\/007! Uh, I mean, another avatarist."

"I think you mean an avatarist that is good at styles that aren't only OOTS style."

Saurous glances over at the TV.

"Champions of Norrath? That would practically be poisonous to Vespe. Or Bookboy for that matter."

((Oh, and Bath? You don't mind if I take the drawing of Saurous and put it into my signature, do you?))

[Mr. Moon]

Moon Called shrugs, starting a new game. "I didn't write the note. I'm just playing it."

[Dr. Bath]

"As much fun as this has been, it's now time for me to leave. Bwaahahahaha!!!"

There is a puff of smoke and the doctor and his bath have disappeared.

[Saurous]

"Huh."

Saurous leans back on the couch, pulling out his spellbook. He begins flipping through it.

[Vhaidara]

Why would I hate it? I don't just like pure blood and gore games. I play those when I'm getting very tickd off.

[Saurous]

"I was just making a bit of a generalization. The only game I've seen you play was...what was that? Something along the lines of Chainsaws and Lots and Lots of Zombies or something."

[Vhaidara]

Yeah, but I do that to connect with my... how should I put it? Best way I can think of is my inner Vespe. I honestly prefer Baldur's Gate and NWN.

[Saurous]

"I see. But I have to ask something."

Saurous sits up, puts his book down, and hefts an RFECL over his shoulder.

"...are you absolutely sure you're not compensating for something with this?"

[Vhaidara]

I'm sure. I just like exploding chainsaws. And machine guns. So I combined them. Why do you always ask everyone about that kind of thing? These are just fun to use.

[Saurous]

"Eh."

Saurous puts down the weapon, and goes back to his book.

[Vespe Ratavo]

I don't JUST play Dead Rising-ish games, I play plot type games too. Lots of em. And for your information, Dead Rising has a plot, a very good one I might add.

[Saurous]

Saurous sighs.

"I'm just going to stop talking, as everyone else apparently exists just to prove me wrong."

[Vhaidara]

No, we just need something to get you to shut up when you start acting like a psycologist.

[Lord Magtok]

Magtok comes out of his labs, looking very pissed.

I demand to know at once! Who was the fool who allowed Doctor Bath to enter our thread? Who was it who forgot to make him go through the traditional rites of passage?

Those legalese documents, the mentioning of AMEN in their signature, and the gratuitous violence are all part of what makes us AMEN! It is what makes us better than the RBers, better than the Townies, and mightier than the Werewolves and their victims!

It is not enough that we have invaded nearly every forum here and spread our influence! It is not enough that we have stolen Townies, an RBer, and made plans for an AMEN d20 game!

We always must honor the memory of Mauril the Nuetral Dwelf, Ayya the female version of Thog, Psyke_D the founder, and all of the others who have left us, by preserving the traditions we established when they were still here! If they were to all come back here, and see you welcoming visitors with open arms, they would be ashamed to have ever known you! They would believe that you have been led astray from the true path by some paladin scum, and that we have become good!

After yelling at everybody, Magtok's lungs explode, and he falls to the ground, dead.

[PirateMonk]

"I don't think those traditions were in place until well after the first thread. I certainly didn't have to deal with them."

[Lord Magtok]

Magtok's player pops up, and decides to fill in for Magtok while the cloning labs are under repair.

They were around by the second thread, by the very least. Sometime after we officially declared ourselves AMEN, and Pskye_D told us he had to go due to some personal matter.

[Vespe Ratavo]

Well, Dr. Bath is awesome, but Magtok is right.
Vespe pulls out a nail gun, an ice cream scoop, and a teddy bear.
As soon as Dr. Bath gets back, it's "initiation" time.

[Lord Magtok]

Magtok comes out of the cloning labs with a twisted smile on his face.

I hope I'll be around during the usual GMT people hours to see what happens. If I'm not around, you can find the legalese documents in the Room of Excessive Paperwork. It'll probably take a few hours to find it, though.

It's literally buried under ten feet of bills, taxes from every nation our players descend from, and millions of ludicrous legal forms, from the insurance papers I've been hiding from my biological employees, to the declarations of war against nearly every planet, Town, or multiverse we've invaded.

I've also put cold-blooded lawyer-traps, psychotic filing cabinets, and deranged secretaries in there. Chances are, getting the forms is going to be the next AMEN sidequest.

[Vespe Ratavo]

Vespe grabs a Death Star from the Completely Overstocked Armory and blows up some planets for fun.

[Vhaidara]

Vespe, we need to break out the big guns. Nothing has worked on this guy.
He leans in and whispers in Vespe's ear
Time for the MCWUC's.

(MCWUC= Mutant Chainsaw Wielding Undead Cyborgs. Meant to have a piece of everyone's style in it.)

[Vespe Ratavo]

(What about pies? :smallconfused: Pies are like...iconic for AMEN. When people mention us, for some reason they always mention pies... )

Vespe continues blowing up planets, nodding.

[Lord Magtok]

He leans in and whispers in Vespe's ear
Time for the MCWUPCOPS's.

(MCWUPCOPS= Mutant Chainsaw Wielding Undead Pie Cyborgs On Pogo Sticks. Meant to have a piece of everyone's style in it.)

Magtok grabs his edit-gun, and blasts a few extra words and characters into Bookboy's post to fix it.

[Vhaidara]

Good point, thanks for fixing it Magtok. I can't believe I forgot Rex. Well, he hasn't posted in a while. Oh, and if one of you update the enemy list on the wiki, all my guys are staying nuetral.

[Vespe Ratavo]

You know what we need? We need a big old picture, like a banner...that displays just what AMEN has...like there'd be us, with our weapons, in the front, and behind us...pies, zombies, cyborgs, robots, pie golems, Death Stars, AT-ATs, MCWUPCOPS's, all that stuff... maybe with a nice big "YOU WILL SUBMIT" or something at the bottom... and we could all put it in our sigs...

Let's ask Castaras very nicely if she will make it :smallwink:

[Vhaidara]

Don't forget IACTs!

[Lord Magtok]

Oh, and if one of you update the enemy list on the wiki, all my guys are staying nuetral.

Wait a sec...there's an enemy list? Why didn't anyone tell me about this? I wanted to put Exachix on it! :smallfrown:

Magtok's player pops in.

Page 44. That means its title-choosing time. I want those titles ready and waiting when the next thread comes around.

[Vhaidara]

Enemies for the Town Invasion.
Bookboy's player appears
Revenge of the Bookboy?

[Vespe Ratavo]

How about AMEN XII: Now For Something Completely Different?
AMEN XII: Now With Even More Pie
AMEN XII: The Ghosty Type Menace
AMEN XII: The Seven Samu-pie

[Vhaidara]

I'm changing speech colors to orange.
And I still say AMENXII: Revenge of the Bookboy

[Lord Magtok]

How about AMEN XII: Now For Something Completely Different?
AMEN XII: Now With Even More Pie
AMEN XII: The Ghosty Type Menace

Those sound neat. How about:

AMEN XII: Now with a higher Roman Numeral than Final Fantasy!

[Vespe Ratavo]

Those sound neat. How about:

AMEN XII: Now with a higher Roman Numeral than Final Fantasy!

No, they're up to twelve. :smalltongue:

[Castaras]

You know what we need? We need a big old picture, like a banner...that displays just what AMEN has...like there'd be us, with our weapons, in the front, and behind us...pies, zombies, cyborgs, robots, pie golems, Death Stars, AT-ATs, MCWUPCOPS's, all that stuff... maybe with a nice big "YOU WILL SUBMIT" or something at the bottom... and we could all put it in our sigs...

Let's ask Castaras very nicely if she will make it :smallwink:

Maybe.

When my player gets home. Maybe.

Castaras heads back into the kitchen as her player runs off to do stuff.

[Saurous]

No, they're up to twelve. :smalltongue:

((How about..."AMEN XII: Now pretty much equivalent to Final Fantasy!"?))

Saurous wanders past, carrying a bowl of soup and grumbling.

"Good-for-nothing, slothful, torpid Player..."

[Vespe Ratavo]

Maybe.

When my player gets home. Maybe.

Castaras heads back into the kitchen as her player runs off to do stuff.

((Yay. :smallbiggrin: Thanks!))

Vespe walks in, grumbling, and cursing under his breath.
Ok. Turns out in about 20 minutes, they're turning off the power in my area to put in some new pole or something, and it's going to be off for two hours, give or take a bit. So don't expect to see me around...dammit, just after I found all those old Xbox games...

[PirateMonk]

"Would we seem too hypocritical if we did AMEN XII: In memory of the Town (Spring 2006-Summer 2007)?"

[Saurous]

"I don't think we should reference the Town like that in the title."

Saurous opens the door to one of the infirmary rooms, and floats the soup bowl inside.

"Here's your soup, you lazy bastard."

"Shut up. I can't help being sick."

[V Junior]

Junior looks up.

AMEN XII: An Evil Dozen?

Wait. I want to be in one!

AMEN XII: Meerkat Attack?

Suddenly, the AMEN base fills with bubbles, a train crashes through the base, water floods the base, a Christmas tree appears and begins killing everyone, an army of ferrets attack the base, a salad army appears, and AMEN is turned into a yellow submarine. The meerkats begin attacking the ferrets.

What on earth?

[Exachix]

You know what we need? We need a big old picture, like a banner...that displays just what AMEN has...like there'd be us, with our weapons, in the front, and behind us...pies, zombies, cyborgs, robots, pie golems, Death Stars, AT-ATs, MCWUPCOPS's, all that stuff... maybe with a nice big "YOU WILL SUBMIT" or something at the bottom... and we could all put it in our sigs...

Let's ask Castaras very nicely if she will make it :smallwink:

"Oooh... Cool Idea."

He looks around.

"AMEN XII: Thirteen Eve."

[Saurous]

"How do people so easily ignore their surroundings here?

And how am I breathing and talking underwater?"

[CurlyKitGirl]

"AMEN XII: Warning: May Contain Nutters
AMEN XII: The Diabolic Dozen
AMEN XII: Buy XII, get III Free!

Can't think of very good titles, sorry. But the banner sounds amazing. The worst part would probably be getting all those people in with their signature things. If Cassies' player can do that she's amazing.

Curly then realises AMEN has turned into a submarine. "You do realise that if Vespe shows up, we're going to be inundated with Beatles lyrics don't you?" She then begins bursting as many bubbles as she can, spearing meerkats as well.

"Hey Saur, who's in the infirmary?"

[Xerillum]

ROOOOAR roar roarrrr/"Amen XII: Bigger than the Big Mac"?

roar roar roar roar growl roarroar grrrrrrrr/
In the town where I was born,
Lived a man who sailed to sea,
And he told us of his life,
In the land of submarines,

So we sailed up to the sun,
Till we found a sea of green,
And we lived beneath the waves,
In our yellow submarine,

We all live in a yellow submarine,
Yellow submarine, yellow submarine,
We all live in a yellow submarine,
Yellow submarine, yellow submarine,

And our friends are all aboard,
Many more of them live next door,
And the band begins to play.

We all live in a yellow submarine,
Yellow submarine, yellow submarine,
We all live in a yellow submarine,
Yellow submarine, yellow submarine,


As we live a life of ease
Every one of us has all we need
Sky of blue and sea of green
In our yellow submarine

We all live in a yellow submarine,
Yellow submarine, yellow submarine,
We all live in a yellow submarine,
Yellow submarine, yellow submarine.

[Saurous]

"AMEN XII: Warning: May Contain Nutters
AMEN XII: The Diabolic Dozen
AMEN XII: Buy XII, get III Free!

Can't think of very good titles, sorry. But the banner sounds amazing. The worst part would probably be getting all those people in with their signature things. If Cassies' player can do that she's amazing.

Curly then realises AMEN has turned into a submarine. "You do realise that if Vespe shows up, we're going to be inundated with Beatles lyrics don't you?" She then begins bursting as many bubbles as she can, spearing meerkats as well.

"Hey Saur, who's in the infirmary?"

"SP has a severe case of viral nasopharyngitis, and he's forcing me to help him."

Saurous crosses his arms, not really caring if no one knows what nasopharyngitis is.

[Castaras]

"SP has a severe case of viral nasopharyngitis, and he's forcing me to help him."

Saurous crosses his arms, not really caring if no one knows what nasopharyngitis is.

...You mean he's got a cold? What a wimp.

[CurlyKitGirl]

"Heh heh, perhaps you should feed him so much chicken soup that his stomache bursts. Or you could send him one hell of a lot of flowers and then release a swarm of bees. Or smother him in so much generousity that he makes you stop helping him." Curly then give Saur all those things so he can unleash them upon SP. Also the bees are in a jar. The jar says: Royal Jelly.

[Vespe Ratavo]

"Would we seem too hypocritical if we did AMEN XII: In memory of the Town (Spring 2006-Summer 2007)?"

I support this one.

Also, they postponed the power outage to 2-4. *sigh*

[Saurous]

...You mean he's got a cold? What a wimp.

"Yes, yes I do. It's the 'I can barely breathe, see right, or stand upright'.

Yes, he is very much a wimp, but he's a whiny wimp, also."

At that point, a heavy and expensive-looking piece of metal falls from the ceiling and smashes into Saurous's head. Well, it appears to stop a centimeter above Saurous's head when it breaks open, but the necromancer still falls to the floor, apparently unconscious.

SP appears a few feet away, standing upside-down on the ceiling, with bright-red veiny eyes, messed-up hair, and a very tired appearance altogether.

"Jerk."

[CurlyKitGirl]

Curly backs away from where SP is on the ceiling as at this point in time he is scarier than anyone else in AMEN. She then offers him some generic-type medicine in his favourite flavour, and a book of his choice. Stolen from Bookboy. "Scary player, must avoid retribution"
"He can't be scarier than me, can he?" asks CP. Curly nods in terror, still watching SP. She also drags Saurous away from his avengng player.

[zeratul]

Zeratul comes in "Hi guys, I'm back, I've been away far to long." As he says this he is lighting Vespe's clothes on fire.

[Vespe Ratavo]

Vespe walks in and Force Chokes a random NPC employee.
Heh.
He then walks over to a room that never existed before and turns it into a Subway.
What? I'm hungry...

Vespe notices his clothes are on fire, and pulls out a chaingun and riddles zeratul with bullets.
You do not set my clothes on fire.

[Saurous]

SP smirks, and heads back towards his room.

"The only bad thing is Saurous is going to be out for a while, meaning I won't have any servants for a while."

Once SP is out of earshot, Saurous, who is supposed to be unconscious, begins laughing.

"What an idiot."

He then pulls himself out of the prone position, and shakes his head.

[CurlyKitGirl]

"Hello Zer, fancy a dance?" Curly whips Zer into a fox-trot, stepping on off-line Exy as they dance. After the dance Curly wanders over to Saurous and says "If your player wasn't so 'dreadfully' ill, would he have noticed what you did? Or do you really think he's that stupid?" She then offers Saur a box of choccies, "'cos I hate dark chocolate, creation of the devil."

[Saurous]

"Well, I think of him as an idiot because he hasn't figured out by now that I can't be brought down as easily by a simple heavy object. There may have been a higher chance of him noticing if he wasn't sick, but I seriously doubt it."

[Exachix]

The 'offline' fox-Exy begins to hmm and bites into Curlie's leg, before darting off and sitting on the sofa.

[CurlyKitGirl]

"Well, 'tis your own fault for doing what Rex and Cassie did with their online/offline buttons." Curly receives delayed pain from the fox-bite. She curses incoherently and hobbles off to the infirmary to get a tetnas jab, which results in more pain.
Curly then realsies that she made Exy do something that involved actually doing something. She rejoices.

[Saurous]

The 'offline' fox-Exy begins to hmm and bites into Curlie's leg, before darting off and sitting on the sofa.

"Exachix...actually....moved?!"

Saurous then proceeds to run around screaming and babbling something about everything falling apart.

[Castaras]

Castaras' player smirks, limping off to wherever players hang out, trying to rub the face paint off her face.

[Lord Fullbladder, Master of Goblins]

"Bloody stupid painters. This sub was supposed to be slate grey! Who do I have to kill to get some decent work done around here?"

Fullbladder walks in, thoroughly kicking a wall. A few steps later he performs a drawn out stretch, before walking over to the couch and plopping down even as he whips out his gameboy.

[Exachix]

She curses incoherently and hobbles off to the infirmary to get a tetnas jab, which results in more pain.

"Should be Rabies Actually."

[CurlyKitGirl]

"Well, I got one of those two pages ago, offscreen. And since we're in a submarine anyone have any idea where to go?" Curly heads over to the controls aimlessly pushing buttons. A small maroon button is pushed and this comes up
things to do when your bored. (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3FtKYOtOIkE)
"Oh dear."

[Saurous]

Saurous stops running around aimlessly, and covers his ears.

"Ugh, why does everyone hate my senses?"

[Lord Fullbladder, Master of Goblins]

"So, wait. We have a submarine. What's next? We form our own Evil Underwater and Marine Agency (EUMA)? We all get antique vehicles and paint them hot pink? We start a large, beloved band?"

Fullbladder rambles on for a while, before his game distracts him again and he shuts for a while.

[Saurous]

"I believe Evil Marine and Underwater Society (EMUS) sounds a bit better."

"Aren't you supposed to be sick?"

"Yes."

SP then walks back to his room.

[Exachix]

"I believe Evil Marine and Underwater Society (EMUS) sounds a bit better."

"Aren't you supposed to be sick?"

"Yes."

SP then walks back to his room.

"But isn't that too much like a silly bird. or something."

Exachix hmms.

"Why Yellow?"

[Saurous]

"Why the yellow submarine? The Beatles song?"

Saurous begins humming the song, and the OOC voices give a link. (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Yellow_Submarine_%28song%29)

[Exachix]

Exachix nodds.

"There is a beatles song called 'Yellow Submarine, yes, but why was it yellow? Why not Red? Why does our Submarine have to conform to that?"

[Castaras]

Exachix nodds.

"There is a beatles song called 'Yellow Submarine, yes, but why was it yellow? Why not Red? Why does our Submarine have to conform to that?"

Yellow has two syllables. "We all live in a Red submarine" doesn't sound right, seeing as Red has one syllable. And "Yellow Submarine" sounds better than a "Violet Submarine", and appeals to the male and female listeners, unlike "Violet" or "Bright pink" which according to stereotype, would appeal only to the girls.

No, don't ask me what I said just then. I don't know myself.

Castaras' player shrugs and limps into the kitchen.

[Exachix]

Exachix blinks.

"But there are myriads of Adjectives... but it matters not..."

He thinks.

"And... No... In fact... I'll just forget it."

[Lord Magtok]

"Should be Rabies Actually."

The fox has rabies? Yay! Now I finally have an excuse to take him to an animal shelter and let them kill him off! And I won't need to use the fact that he's a spy to convince the others that the fox needs to be killed!

Magtok heads to the armory, in search of his special modified Chicago typewriter designed to fire tranquilizer darts.

[Vespe Ratavo]

Vespe runs in.
Woo! The power has returned! The glorious glorious life giving electricity has returned!
Vespe celebrates by playing video games until his eyes bleed.

[Lord Fullbladder, Master of Goblins]

"You're right, Magtok. If he's rabid, we need to put him down. Plus we need to keep disease at bay during the long months of submarining for EMUS."

[Lord Magtok]

Magtok comes back with the modified Thompson, and aims it at the sleeping fox. A sadisitic grin appears on his sick and twisted face.

Oh gods, I've been waiting for a chance to do this ever since that damn fox dragged his furry butt in here.

He opens fire on the diseased animal, and cackle maniacally as the sound of gunfire fills the room.

[Saurous]

"Well, I doubt anyone will miss him. Or even notice that he isn't there. I mean, it's a rare occasion when he actually moves.

Well, Castaras may miss him. I mean, they have so much in common."

[Vespe Ratavo]

Vespe looks confused at the scene.
Hmm...I'm split...I can't decide whether to thank Magtok or seek bloody vengeance against him. Likewise, I'm not sure whether to mourn Exy or spit on his grave...hmm.... :smallconfused:

[Lord Magtok]

Magtok stops firing, and puts down the dart-firing gun. He looks at the corpse with a mix of disgust and disappointment.

Eww. I didn't think the darts were going to sink in that far...or that they'd explode when they punctured his brain. The vacuum cleaners are going to be complaining about this mess for the next few weeks, at the very least. I was also kinda hoping it wouldn't be this easy, and he'd put up some magical shield or something. Meh, its a fitting end for such a lazy animal.


Well, Castaras may miss him. I mean, they have so much in common."

Y'know, there was something about her interest in a wild animal that always freaked me out a little. The same way those crazy old cat ladys scare me, mind you. Not in the perverted way you're probably thinking about right now. :smallyuk:

[Saurous]

Y'know, there was something about her interest in a wild animal that always freaked me out a little. The same way those crazy old cat ladys scare me, mind you. Not in the perverted way you're probably thinking about right now. :smallyuk:

"Magtok, I wasn't even thinking about that until you mentioned it. Mostly."

Saurous then coughs, a bit nervously.

[Vespe Ratavo]

Vespe pulls out a blender and sticks Magtok's head in it.
Why did I do that? Felt like it.

[Saurous]

Saurous looks at the mess that used to be Magtok's face and a blender.

"Amazing. I had no idea that metal could be shredded and splattered in such a manner."

[Lord Magtok]

Magtok manages to pull his head out of the blender before it kills him. It still manages to completely tear apart his face, though. Ouch.

[Vespe Ratavo]

Sorry Maggot. Violence is fun.
Vespe casts Cure Really Freaky Disfiguring Wounds on Magtok.

[Saurous]

Saurous casts Inflict Really Freaky Disfiguring Wounds on Magtok.

"Surprisingly, he actually looks better that way."

[Xerillum]

Burn-burn burps. spewing fire. Right under where magtok is standing.

[Lord Magtok]

Magtok lifts up a hand to give Saurous the middle finger, when he discovers that his hand is now a skinned mess of muscle, cybernetics, and dripping blood.

He also grabs a mirror, and finds that his human eye has popped and is dangling against his face, his lips have burst in a shower of blood, there are cuts all over his face, his left ear is dangling by a thin, burnt piece of tissue, and his brain is visible due to a large chunk of his skull missing from the back of his head.

Magtok freaks out at the sight of himself, and limps over to the furnace, since his other leg had been charred by Burn-Burn. He tosses himself into the furnace, desperately trying to remove his horrendous self from the world, to make way for a newer and better Magtok.

[Saurous]

"Hmm. Interesting."

Saurous scribbles something down in his spellbook.

"I'll be keeping that one."

[Xerillum]

The furnace door is locked. ROOOOOAAAR/We locked Saphire's DVDs in there. From the inside, so she couldn't get them.

[Saurous]

"Why would you do that? Why, why in the name of all the Hells would you waste a perfectly good corpse-destroying furnace in such a manner?! Who knows what Saphire's DVDs did to it!"

[Lord Magtok]

The furnace door is locked. ROOOOOAAAR/We locked Saphire's DVDs in there. From the inside, so she couldn't get them.

Magtok smahes his already badly injured skull against the furnace, and dies.

The next clone decides to learn from the last Magtok's incident, and carries around an IHD (Instant Healing Dohickey), which uses the power of bacta, white magic, the Force, and player handwaves to act as an instant life-saver in nearly any situation.

[Xerillum]

Roar roooooooaaaaaar/Because I'm a better corpse destroying furnace. Or if you'd like, I could clean out the old one. Burn-burn shoves his head into the furnace, and burns the DVDs to a puddle of molten plastic. He sucks it up, pulls his head out, and spits a plastic pie tin out. Rooar/Look! I made something useful!

[Saurous]

"Yes, I'm sure you're a much better furnace than an actual furnace."

Saurous sighs. He also points a very large, enchanted Dragon-slaying sword at Burn Burn, to convince him that Saurous does not want to be shown how good a furnace Burn Burn is.

[Xerillum]

roar...roar/OK, um...ok, see? I cleaned out the furnace...

[Saurous]

"It's because I was simu-edited. Shut up."

Saurous puts down the sword.

[Lord Magtok]

Magtok heads outside, and is gone for quite a while. When he comes back, he shows Burn-burn what he has been up to that whole time.

Outside, there is a large village. Every single one is dipping themselves in a large vat of ketchup, chanting something about praising the alien cyborg man and doing his bidding. The buildings are made out of very flammable material, and a large number of them hold large shiny objects.

Burn-burn, from this point on, you'll never attack me again, you'll kill Saurous as soon as I get rid of those nasty dragon-hunting weapons, and you'll act as the furnace when our regular furnace is too clogged wth corpses and Saphire's stuff. Understand?

[Saurous]

Saurous hmms, and then turns back to Burn Burn.

"Um, Burn Burn? You are of the red dragon variety, right?"

Saurous sighs after seeing the offline symbol.

"Of course he goes offline right then."

[Xerillum]

Roar. ROOOOAr. ROar./Mmmm, shiniiiiies. Yeah!

[Lord Magtok]

Wait a sec...dragons EAT shiny things? I thought they just collected that stuff and then put it in their caves, waiting for adventurers to come along and rob and kill them. :smallconfused:

Magtok writes "Burn-burn really likes shiny stuff" on his list of "Things to remember when trying to cheat death."

[Xerillum]

roar roar growwwl/That is true, but some dragons clean shiny items by passing them through their digestive tract and excreting them. Draconic fecal matter is clear, and acts as a rust inhibitoromator

[Saurous]

"Oy, as interesting as it is to learn more about dragons, but I don't think anyone wants to hear about how dragons defecate."

[Xerillum]

roarrr roooaaar/ Well, it's good to know when your tank starts rusting in the middle of a battle. Or when your Saphire's DVD furnace's door is rusted shut.

[Lord Magtok]

Magtok vanishes in a matter of moments, and goes on a quest in search of the fabled Acid of Mental Image Wiping. He fights off countless filthy images along the way, defeats the dreaded Lord of Crude Humor, and burns Lifebane's entire collection of questionable magazines in the fiery depths of AMEN's furnace.

He eventually locates the acid, and takes a lake-sized amount of it with him back to AMEN, and pours it all in what used to be AMEN's swimming pool.


I *gasp* did it! And it only took me a month of back-breaking labor and horrors beyond my wildest nightmares!

[Saurous]

"Yes, Magtok. You did work for something you could go two miles down the road to the nearest Wondrous Item Outlet."

Saurous holds up a bottle of the same acid that Magtok had just found, with a small price tag attached to it.

[Xerillum]

The ceiling crumbles, and Saphire's stockpile of questionable DVDs falls out of a hole in the ceiling, burying Magtok.

[Lord Magtok]

Magtok manages to say Oh shi- right before being buried by both DVDs and despair.

[Xerillum]

One partucularly questionable DVD finds its way into Magtok's cyborg DVD slot, and begins to play... on a loop.

[Saurous]

Saurous smirks, and waves a hand. The DVDs organize themselves, and float away from the crushed Magtok and off to the side to be destroyed at a later time.

"You dislike horrible imagery, but they seem to like you."

[Lord Magtok]

One partucularly questionable DVD finds its way into Magtok's cyborg DVD slot, and begins to play... on a loop.

Magtok tears the thing out of himself and shoots it repeatedly, until it is completely shattered. He then glares at Burn-burn and Saurous.

If you guys ever try to put stuff inside me again, I swear by the very players that rule over us, I WILL HAVE MY REVENGE!

...And stop trying to add innuendo to what I say!

[Saurous]

"No one would notice the double entendres as much if you didn't point them out! For the love of Nerull, we notice those things now because you can't just shut your mouth after saying what you need to say.

And I am not the one who attempted to put that DVD into the DVD player that you just now appear to have."

[Lord Magtok]

Well, you're the only one online right now who can move stuff without touching them, so I'm pretty sure you're lying, Saur. :smallannoyed:

I'm also pretty sure I didn't have this DVD player before. :smallconfused:

[Xerillum]

rooar/I don't have opposable thumbs. You must have put it in yourself.

[Saurous]

"Oh, come on. I'm one who prefers physically torturing someone, rather than mental torture. That is Moon Called's and Saphire's thing. And these are Saphire's DVDs. Who knows what they are capable of on their own?

And also, Xerillum is the one who posted the part about the DVD falling in, not my player."

[Lord Magtok]

Magtok looks above himself, and reads the posts on this page.

Saur, looks like you win...this time. I guess I'm going to have to find a way to kill Burn-burn's player someday.

Magtok adds yet another name to his "List of people who must (but probably won't) die", and then gives Xerillium the middle finger before taking a nap n his quarters.

[Xerillum]

Burn-Burn falls asleep in the second swimming pool.

[Vespe Ratavo]

Vespe walks into to the Completely Overstocked Armory.

A few minutes later, he walks out, carrying all sorts o' crap, like shotguns, machine guns, pistols, katanas, chainsaws, teddy bears, etc.

Be vewy vewy quiet. I'm going human hunting.

Vespe then jumps in a tank, and drives off to the town (not The Town) that's pretty close to the base.

[PirateMonk]

((The Werewolf village? :smallconfused: ))

[Vespe Ratavo]

((It's just a generic town near the base of the volcano. Bad city planning, but meh, good place to go hunting.))

[Lord Magtok]

Maybe its that dock with all of the boats that keep getting attacked by pirates...or that place with all of the stabbities, or maybe even that Alien Invasion thread.

Wow, I just realized how life-threatening and terrifying the SMBG can be. Thanks the gods I'm here at AMEN, where it's nice and safe!

[Vespe Ratavo]

The tank crashes through the wall of the base.
Yep. Nice and safe.
Vespe promptly pulls out a large gun that shoots chainsaws that shoot cell phones that shoot lasers that shoot sharks that shoot lasers out of their frickin' heads that shoot Oscar Wilde's that shoot people that shoot shots that shoot guns that shoot chainsaws that shoot bullets at Magtok.

[Lord Magtok]

Magtok is shot.

[PirateMonk]

"I see the forum is reaching 20,000 members. Should we celebrate?"

[Vespe Ratavo]

Vespe polishes his machete, grinning.
More cattle for the slaughter...

[Lord Magtok]

The next Magtok shows up.

Gah, more newbies? I hate them almost as much as I hate the people who only post in the Erfworld and OotS forums. (I don't know why I hate those people, I just do.)

[Vespe Ratavo]

Vespe suddenly has a look of shock.
Er...of course we're just kidding around, right Magtok? I mean, we don't really hate the newbies? That would be flaming...
Vespe budges Magtok in the ribs.

[Lord Magtok]

MP turns to Vespe, shortly after slapping Magtok across the face.

I'm not flaming. He just hates everything that everyon else loves. Since the playground clearly loves newbies with its big welcome thread in FB, and since someone must love the fans who exist here only to gush about the awesomeness of the comic-makers, I figured Magtok should hate those people.

[Vespe Ratavo]

I mean of course, we're justified for hating noobs.

Newbies: New people. No particular reason to hate them.

Noobs: Annoying people, people who act stupid, people who join just to spam or go "omg this comic sux" or something to that effect, etc.

[Lord Magtok]

Hmm...hold on a second.

MP does some handwaving, and then turns back to Vespe.

There. I fixed it. Now he only hates noobs. And manga. And anime. And Saurous. And Exy. And chainsaws. And Bookboy. And rabbits. And...

MP goes on and on, until someone does something to shut him up.

[Vespe Ratavo]

Vespe waits to hear the whole list, so he can agree and/or disagree.

[Lord Fullbladder, Master of Goblins]

"You forgot goblins, Magtok. You've hated goblins ever since I walked through that door. Or at most five seconds after I walked through it."

Fullbladder points at a door hanging precariously from the ceiling. On it is a splash of red paint reading "AMEN" painted overtop of a small brass plague engraved with "Evil Inc."

"Anyway, it's not like you hate everything others love--or you'd hate the comics, the comicmakers, the internet, and good ol' technology."

[Lord Magtok]

"Anyway, it's not like you hate everything others love--or you'd hate the comics, the comicmakers, the internet, and good ol' technology."

Well, I hate most of everything others love. And I didn't really start hating you until you said something to me, and launched that whole pre-Saur vs. Me feud, where I'd make futile attempts to anger you, and end up making myself look like a fool.

And I hated goblins waaay before I met you.


MP continues his ranting.

And transformers. And Harry Potter. And Superman. And chimpanzees. And references he doesn't understand. And villains with Doctor in their name, cuz they make him jealous. And Garfield, because he doesn't find the comic to be very funny. And catfood, for reasons he made me swear never to reveal.

[Vespe Ratavo]

In order, both of the posts included...

Agree, partially agree, partially agree, sometimes, nope, disagree, he's a little better now, rabbits are all right I guess, Transformers pwn you, Harry Potter is all right, but it's kinda bland, Superman...whatever, chimpanzees are ok, references I don't get suck, we can send you back to college, totally agree, and I'm somewhat curious about the whole cat food thing.

[Saurous]

Saurous walks in, picking up an oral thermometer off the table. He walks towards SP room, and tosses the thermometer in at him.

"Put this under your tongue, and tell me when it starts beeping."

"...you hit me in the eye with it..."

"Well, that is not my problem at the moment."

[Mr. Moon]

Saphire walks in with a large amount of pre-melted metal in her hands, which has hardened and now looks like a swan.

"Who. Touched. My. DVDs?" She says with obviously barely contained anger.

[Vespe Ratavo]

Vespe notices Saphire walk in with her swan thing.
Oh gods. Saphire's DVDs have been touched.
RUN FOR YOUR LIVES!
Vespe runs off to the Fallout Shelter.

[Saurous]

Saurous backs away from Saphire, hoping to be as far away from her as possible.

"Um...Burn Burn threw them into the furnace, and wasted a perfectly good furnace while he was at it."

He then ducks behind a desk, noticably his Desk of Invincability.

[Mr. Moon]

Saphire handwaves the Desk of Invincibiltiy away, walks over to Saurous, and picks him up by his shirt. Her flair for the dramatic kicks in while doing so, and a wind picks up, swirling around the room and making her hair whip to and fro. "Where is he?" She hisses.

[CurlyKitGirl]

"He's telling the truth. Burn Burn ruined at least two lots of your DVDs and made questionable remarks about them." After Curly says this she backs away from Saphire and joins Saur under the Desk of Invincibilty, and makes some kind of small talk until Saphire calms down-or does something incredibly vicious to Burn Burn. At least she would of if she hadn't been simu'd; she just stands up against a wall praying to whatever god/demon is listening.

[Dr. Bath]

*Poof*

The Doctor and his bath have appeared in the centre of the room.

"Hello again, chaps. Where can a man get a good army of small, blue men around these parts?"

[Saurous]

"Sleeping in the swimming pool."

Saurous points at the secondary swimming pool where the dragon is sleeping.

[Madmal]

Both Mals appear at the place...

We sensed a disturbance in the spazz...
and beside, we were bored...
yeah, mostly that...

((Vespe: i suppose you refer to something like this?: Newb/N00b (http://www.ctrlaltdel-online.com/comic.php?d=20060823)))

[Dr. Bath]

"Corpse boy, why is that elf girl so argry?"
"It's certainly not a good idea to get so agitated."

[Vespe Ratavo]

((Exactly. I was looking for that one in particular, actually. Couldn't find it. Thanks.))

[Mr. Moon]

Ignoring Curly, Saphire smiles at Saurous, and releases him. In other words, she throws him to the side, sending him crashing into a book case, which topples over him. She walks over to Burnburn's pool, and kneels down. "Offline, are you? Coward." She mutters, and sets up a plot sheild around the pool. She turns, now focusing on the others. "Now tell me why none of you stopped him." Bits of electricity crackle in her hair as she speaks, and she levitates off the floor.

[CurlyKitGirl]

"Hey, Dr. Bath! I love that banner but I can't sig it yet. How do you do it?" booms the voice of Curly's player.

"Saphire is MC's player. Burn Burn" pointing to the dragon in the second swimming pool "ruined her anime DVDs. She's furious. Hide."

[Vespe Ratavo]

Whilst barricading the Fallout Shelter, Vespe squirms a bit.
I was offline! Don't murder me and tie me up and resurrect me and force me to watch your DVDs!

[Saurous]

"Corpse boy, why is that elf girl so argry?"
"It's certainly not a good idea to get so agitated."

"She's pissed off at Burn Burn for destroying her DVDs. I suggest you hide."

Saurous pulls himself out of the mess that used to be a bookcase, and retreats over to the side.

"Well, no one stopped him because we didn't find out until they were already destroyed, as he had locked the furnace door as Magtok was trying to kill himself."

[Castaras]

Iwasntonlinewhenthedvdsweruinedsopleaseohpleasedon tblamemeohgreatestanimefangirlever.

Castaras makes a tactical retreat into the kitchen.

[Madmal]

ooooohhh....Carrie-like special-effects....

mMal just walks to another bookcase, searching for something to get boredom out, takes a book. and vanishes

this should serve

[Rex Idiotarum]

* Rex takes off his clothes and hops in the bath with Dr. Bath. *
You know the dorms only have showers? Turn up the heat a little, will ya?

[Mr. Moon]

Saphire smiles. "Is that so?" She asks. She handwaves, and all the exits close. Vespe and Castaras are dumped uncerimoniusly by unseen hands back in the living room. "I suppose I'll just have to make an example so none of you try it ever again." Behind her, fifteen anime slave-boys apear behind her, kneeling. Each of them has spikey hair and all apear to have been gifted with some extraordinary power at little cost to them. As one, they stand.

"Get them." Laughing, the anime slave-boys charge forth, swords/guns/magic/whatever at the ready.

[Madmal]

Malina just sits behind MC, observing with amusement, while nibbling on a chocolate bar.

My, this could be fun....

[Saurous]

Saurous shakes his head, and draws out his katana, in case he can't get away. He then jumps up into the rafters in his signature way.

Meanwhile, SP comes out of his room, coughing a bit and covering his bleeding left eye.

"What's going on out here?"

[Castaras]

Great...so I'm being attacked because my dumb player was asleep when Saphire's dumb DVDs were stolen. Yay. PLAYER!
Yeah, what?
Get me out of this mess would you?
Why should I? It's fun to watch you die.
It's your fault I'm in this mess!
O RLY?
Ya rly, now get your handwaving abilities out would you?
You asked for it...

Castaras gets lightning bolt'd. And the anime boys can't get to her. Seeing as Castaras' player has handwaved Castaras out of existance for the moment. So :smalltongue: to Saphire.

[Vespe Ratavo]

:eek:

Vespe runs into the kitchen.
I guess Castaras might have a problem with me going into her kitchen...but she got handwaved away, and it's better than being murdered by anime guys...
Vespe pushes everything in the kitchen up against the door to make a barricade.

[CurlyKitGirl]

Curly casts 4K!DS editing and dubbing on all of them rendering thm useless and below-average-animation.
She then whips out her trusty breadknife and her short sword, rready to slaughter the 4K!DS-ified characters. :smalltongue: to Saphire.

[Dr. Bath]

"Ah, yes. Mr. Idiotorum, we hear that you are the leader of this 'organisation'. We use this word in the loosest possible terms, of what I have seen, most of your member are barely controlled barbarians. What is it that you do again?" Dr Bath says, casually swatting an 'anime slave boy into a quantam singularity with his scrubbing brush

(( the URL for the banner is http://i60.photobucket.com/albums/h24/solarturtle/feegles.png, just put img tags round it and put in your sig))

[Mr. Moon]

Saphire handwaves the 4Kids-ization away. A winged slave-boy flys up after Saurous, and thruts his sword forth.

Meanwhile, a Mecha and a (real) Ninja group up on Curly, furrious. The mecha shoots a flame thrower at her, while the ninja launches a storm of shurikin.

A .hack style fighter apears behind Vespe, grinning wickedly, and slashes him with a polearm.

[Saurous]

Saurous deflects the slave-boy's sword with the katana, and kicks him across the face.

"I'm going to go easy on these idiots, and only use magic as little as I can."

[Rex Idiotarum]

"Whatever we want. There is nothing we can't do." Rex says. Rex quietly ignores the fanboys.

[Madmal]

Yay! bloodbath! though mechas are overrated...

[Vespe Ratavo]

Vespe dodges out of the way, and punches the anime boy in the gut, ripping out his intestines. He then takes a picture.
Anime boys are no match for the Ninja Journalist!

[Castaras]

The pies in the kitchen help Vespe barricade the kitchen, and complain about how nobody notices that the kitchen is got to through a frigging magical portal, and as such you only need to press a little button at the side of the portal to make it disappear, and make it impossible for anything or anyone to get into the kitchen, seeing as handwaving and magic are prevented.

They then get shot by the rebel stew who have now realised that Castaras can't stop them from taking over the kitchen.

[Vespe Ratavo]

Vespe slaps himself in the head and pushes the little button.

Then keeps barricading the door for good measure.

[Mr. Moon]

At first glance, one would imagine Saphire would be lossing.

At first glance, one would be compleatly wrong.

"How many of you play Warhammer 40k?" She asks, leaning her chin on her hands. "Here's my advice. Team up. This guy can take out any one of you on his own." She grins as the floor begins to shake. "Oh, yeah. Their's three of them." Three carnifexes, big nasty creatures that could easily rip their way through the most fortified of citidals, crashed through the walls. A Plot Sheild apeard to surround the rather large, crumbling holes in the wall to prevent anyone escaping.

[Vespe Ratavo]

Vespe thanks the gods (as well as Castaras and her player) that the kitchen is connected by a portal and not a door.

He then turns his attention to fighting the stews.

[Saurous]

Saurous sighs, and walks away from the flying slave-boy, as his kick to the face apparently froze him in place.

SP walks over to Saphire, ignoring the chaos around him.

"Whatcha doing?"

[Castaras]

The stew and the pies carry on in their epic battle to fight for the control of the kitchen. One stew grabs Vespe and throws him at a large group of pies. The few pies that survived after being hit by an elf pick Vespe up and throw him back at the stews.

[Vespe Ratavo]

Wee! It's like a carnival, only with more death!
Vespe pulls out a battle axe and starts slashing at the stews as he gets tossed back and forth.

[Dr. Bath]

"You there! Disgusting creatures, We request that you stand down. This is under the jurisdiction of the Norn Queen, local leader and mouthpeice for the Hive Mind. Once again,you are to stand down and await re-absorbtion into the hive conciousness."

[CurlyKitGirl]

Curly dies her first ever death and wakes up in the cloning room. She stays there and watches both battles simultaneously on the new in-HQ cameras. (A bit like the accursed show but with more death, and no twits. Or a narrator with an annoying accent) Although tere is full surround sound. She grabs popcorn out of thin air and watches.

((thanks for the link Dr. Bath))

[Mr. Moon]

Saphire looks at SP, and shrugs. "These guys keep burning my DVD's, I figured I'd teach them what happens to people who touch my stuff." She says, grinning as the carnifexe's team up on Saurous, who apears to be the only one in the living room. "They keep cheating."

The carnifexes stop, and glare at Dr. Bath. "I don't know which Norn Queen YOU'RE talking about, but this is Hive Fleet Jaberwok. I'm their Norn Queen." The carnifexes look at each other, shrug, and two of them launch balls of bio-acid at Dr. Bath.

[Saurous]

"Neat."

Saurous quickly ducks between the carnifexs' legs, and steps up onto the ceiling, standing upside-down. He pulls out a DVD from his pocket and grins.

"Well, Saphire, if you kill me with these things, I guess you'll never get this back."

He holds up one of the few DVDs that were not thrown in the furnace.

[Castaras]

The stews carry on fighting the pies.

More pies fall to the might of the stews. Various fruits and vegetables start taking sides, the majority fighting for the stews. Vespe manages to chop loads of stews in half.

But that only creates two more stews for every stew he chops in half.

[Vespe Ratavo]

Ok...let's see here...
Vespe pulls out a teddy bear, and starts using it to soak up the stews.

[Mr. Moon]

Saphire looks at the DVD, and shrugs. She waves her hand, and the DVD floats over to her. "No. No, I think I will." One of the carnifexes jump up, grabbing Saurous. A large amount of bio-slime gets on his clothes.

[Madmal]

Woot! yes! bar-be-cue! bar-be-cue!

the third carniflex jumps in front of Malina

egh...could you move? i'm watching...dammit, MOVE AWAY!!

*Mighty Boot-to-Face no jutsu*

[Saurous]

SP handwaves the DVD over to himself, and incases it in a plot shield.

"Thank ye."

Saurous sighs, wondering what the bio-slime does exactly.

[Dr. Bath]

"My dear girl unless you claim to be a large pus-spewing mass of organic matter at least three times as big as this building, I seriously doubt that you a Norn Queen of any kind." Dr. Bath deftly manuevres his bath out of the trajectory of the 'bio-acid', without in fact getting out of the bath.

[Mr. Moon]

((Bio-slime is... really slimey. And gross. Bio-acid, now that hurts. But bio-slime just smells really bad.))

Saphire sighs, and grabs her DVD from SP. "Look, do you want to see what's on this DVD?" She asks, then reverts her attention to the battle.

The carnifex manages to pull Saurous down since he didn't do anything to stop it, and moves to crush his head with his crushing claws.

Look, I didn't name their weapons...

Saphire looks at Dr. Bath, and shrugs. "I'm proxing. Let's just leave it at that."

[Saurous]

"Ugh, there just isn't any point trying to use a bargaining chip when the other person can just teleport it away from you no matter what you do."

SP shakes his head, and walks off.

Saurous turns incoporeal, and floats out of the carnifex's claws.

[Vespe Ratavo]

Vespe turns on a TV in the kitchen, which begins showing the battle.
Hmm. On one hand, I feel I should help them. On the other hand, nah.
Vespe turns his attention to the stews again.

[Exachix]

Exachix re-appears and, with dual smgs, opens fire on the dead-timed Magtok. He stops firing soon later and sits on a sofa.

[Mr. Moon]

"Look, this is the Saphire Reaks her Revenge scean. I'm supposed to hold all the cards!" She looks around, and shrugs, now getting rather bored. "I'm going to go buy more DVD's. Moon Called can help you clean up."

"What? Why me?"

"Because I said so."

Moon Called sighs.

[Dr. Bath]

"So be it." Dr. Bath leaps from the bath, towel around his waist, brandishing his scrubbing brush. Above it appears some writing: "Force Weapon- 30pts".

The doctor rolls two d6, which come up with a 3 and 5.
"Eight, good. Now that we have passed our psykic test, you should prepare die, foul spawn!"

[Lord Fullbladder, Master of Goblins]

"... Sh-she's gone? Whippee! I get to LIVE! I thought for sure my animation ideals would earn me death."

Fullbladder removes hismelf from the safety of under the couch.

"Bath, we have this wonderful new invention I think you should try. It's called pants."

[Dr. Bath]

"No, no, tried that once, wasn't nearly good enough. Restricted the bloodflow you see."
"Dr. Bath is quite right. No, trousers are not for us."

[Saurous]

Both SP and Saurous sigh with relief.

"Isn't it nice when the 'almighty evil queen' is a teenager with short attention span?"

"Yes, but aren't you a teenager?"

"Yes, but I'm very mature for my age."

Saurous floats there for a minute, staring at SP, unbelievingly. He then bursts out laughing.

"What's so funny?"

Saurous waves a hand, and he becomes coporeal again. He rolls on the floor in laughter.

"What?"

[Lord Magtok]

Magtok comes out of deadtime, and uses the excuse that the DVDs were used to crush him as his excuse for not stopping Burn-burn. He then turns and faces Dr. Bath.

Doctor, the others may have forgotten, but we have a number of cruel, idiotic, and barabaric rituals we always use on visitors and potential recruits. I'm afraid there's no way to get around this AMEN tradition. If you wish to stay here, you'll have to be subjected to the Legalese Contracts of Soul Exchange and Fine Print, the Pin The Crime On The Necromancer game, and the classic See How Many Shotgun Rounds to the Face it Takes to Kill Corpse-Boy.

[Lord Fullbladder, Master of Goblins]

"How 'bout a nice kilt then?"

[CurlyKitGirl]

Curly leaves the cloning labs, but avert her eyes as she hears what FullBladder said. She walks over to Exy and congratultes him on doing two actual actions in two days. She then eats some strawberries. "Anyone want some? Inexhaustable supply." The strawberries overflow the container and spill onto the floor. They keep multiplying..

[Saurous]

Magtok comes out of deadtime, and uses the excuse that the DVDs were used to crush him as his excuse for not stopping Burn-burn. He then turns and faces Dr. Bath.

Doctor, the others may have forgotten, but we have a number of cruel, idiotic, and barabaric rituals we always use on visitors and potential recruits. I'm afraid there's no way to get around this AMEN tradition. If you wish to stay here, you'll have to be subjected to the Legalese Contracts of Soul Exchange and Fine Print, the Pin The Crime On The Necromancer game, and the classic See How Many Shotgun Rounds to the Face it Takes to Kill Corpse-Boy.

"You must also learn about one of Magtok's amazing special abilities: 'Making Up Untrue Crap Off the Top of His Head'."

[Mr. Moon]

Saphire sticks her head back in the door. "Don't think that just because I'm gone, the carnifexes are." She says, pointing at the carnifexes, and hand-waves them away. They reapire in Magtok's cloning lab.

[Vespe Ratavo]

Vespe sighs as he continues chopping up stews.
Forget this.
Vespe calls in a Space Marine chapter, and they blast all the stews to little tiny pieces.

Then they move to the living room, and begin fighting the Tyranids.

Vespe lies down in the kitchen and eats some pizza.

[Dr. Bath]

"Contracts, you say? Shoot Corpse boy, you say? Well if you care to look through your files, you should see that we completed the nessecary forms months ago. Now if you will excuse us, I have the important matter of personsal hygeine to attend to."

As Dr. Bath finishes he jumps back into his bath.

[Mr. Moon]

Actualy, the Space Marines do not start attacking the Tyranids, because they are busy trashing Magtok's cloning lab and not in the living room.

"Hey, what's this?"

"They look like space marines."

"No, Space Marines look tougher then that."

"Maybe they're Imperial Gaurd?"

"Of course, how silly of me. Shall we eat them?"

"We shall."

[Madmal]

oh, strawberries?, i want some...
she picks a couples, and devours them.:smallbiggrin:

[Saurous]

Happiness walks in, and glances about at the living room. Saurous tosses him a mop.

"What is this for?"

"Cleaning the bio-slime off the walls, floors, and ceilings."

"...'K."

Happiness takes the mop, and begins cleaning up the central room.

[Castaras]

The tiny bits of stew slurp over the few pies remaining, and after a great struggle, the stews are the victors, overlords of the kitchen.

They head over to a table and start plotting.

[Vespe Ratavo]

The Space Marines run into the cloning chambers and begin fighting.

Vespe drinks a bottle of Dr. Pepper and falls asleep on the kitchen floor.

[Lord Magtok]

Magtok sends in a dozen robots to kick the carnifexes out of the cloning labs, while he heads to the room with all of AMEN's paperwork, and begins a long and difficult quest to find something that could easily be obtained from the Computer of Miscellaneous, Trivial, and Ludicrous Files.

[Mr. Moon]

"Hang on, old friends. It apears that the Emporer has sent in his back-up army."

"How odd. Everyone knows Imperial Gaurdsmen are horrible in a fight."

"Well, you know how those humans work. Some sort of protectect each other crap."

"You'd think they'd have learnt by now."

"Anyway, shall we get them?"

"Oh must we? I get sleepy on a full belly, and I'd like very much to go to sleep."

"You can sleep after we defeat them, old chap."

"I suppose."

The carnifexes join battle with the Space Marines and the robots.

[Exachix]

Exachix summons some Eldar, and their God of War.

They begin to rip apart the spacies, and the others.

[Saurous]

Saurous simply watches the fight from a scrying device. If there is a possiblity that it will destroy Magtok's cloning labs, he wasn't against it.

[Mr. Moon]

The carnifexes look at each other. "It seems that we may be going to lose."

"Do you suppose we could call on our Hive for aid?"

"Oh, I don't know. The Norn Queen wasn't very happy last time."

"But this planet has much in the way of life. It would be wise to eat it."

"Yes, and then the Norn Queen would praise us before we die."

"Then it's settled?"

"Yes, I believe it is."

There is a short pause, and then the ground, and the very air, begin to shake. A foul smell fills the air as spore mines fall outside. Inside Magtok's cloning lab, a mass of tendrels bursts out of the concreat ground, wrecking any expensive equipment ((in other words, all of the expensive equipment)) that gets in it's way. The tenticles move aside to reveal a vat of foul brown bio-slime. A Hive Tyrant climbs out of the vat, even though it apears to have had nothing in it before.

Why do you desturb us?

"Yes, quite sorry. However, something apears to have gone... wrong."

"It's the Eldar, milord. They have joined with these Space Marines, we believe."

We do not appreciate having to save your skins.

"Yes, but if you would do it anyway..."

The Hive Tyrant rolls it's eyes, all eight of them, and moves aside. A swarm of Genestealers climb out of the pool, tearing everything apart.

[Saurous]

Saurous hmms.

"I wonder if that bio-slime is flammable..."

[Lord Fullbladder, Master of Goblins]

Fullbladder, having fled when Saphire returned briefly, can be found inside Magtok's lab, furiously hacking away with a sharpened crossbow bolt at the tentacles and beasties in a futile attempt to protect one of the supercomputers from harm. This supercomputer had been marked by Camerazard spies as the next thing Fullbladder would steal from Magtok, so his interests were at stake.

[Dr. Bath]

RUMBLERUMBLERUMBLERUMBLERUMBLE

"Nae king! Nae quin! Nae laird! Nae master! We wilnae be fooled again!" Is the massed cry from a blue and red mass of pictsies. They leap on the Tyranids and begin to headbutt them and hack them with their swords.

[Lord Fullbladder, Master of Goblins]

"Tiny blue men! We are saved!"

[Mr. Moon]

"This is looking better, wouln't you say, old chaps?"

"Oh, I think it is."

"Shall we join the fray?"

"I think we should. Oh, look. Just over there. A tasty looking goblin."

"Shall we eat him?"

"We shall.""We shall."

The carnifexes leap forth to atack Fullbladder, scything talons, reding claws and crushing claws at the redy,

Meanwhile, the Genestealers emit high pitched screams as they bat the pictsies away. A few get eaten. The Hive Tyrant watches cooly, acting as a Transmiter for the Norn Queen. AKA, Saphire.

[PirateMonk]

"So, will Vespe make the new thread?"

A few hundred Squiggoths and Far Too Many Orks arrive and begin stomping on everything in sight.

[Lord Fullbladder, Master of Goblins]

"Avast, ye scumbags!"

Fullbladder falls back, lunging occasionally with the bolt.

"I hate it when a poorly thought out plan falls to peices."

He suddenly jams the crossbow bolt into his crossbow, which, of course, has the infinite ammo cheat on. He continues to fall back, turning at least one of his attackers into a pincushion.

[Vespe Ratavo]

Of course I will.
Vespe begins contemplating thread titles.

[Lord Magtok]

Magtok finally finishes digging through AMEN's paperwork, and finds that Dr. Bath had told the truth. He goes to examine the damage the carni-whatevers did, and mumbles something about a decoy lab, before heading to the PS2 to play The Godfather.

[Vespe Ratavo]

Or not. I gotta go in a bit. Someone else make it.

[Mr. Moon]

"Oh dear. I aprear to be about to die."

"Old freind!" "Fredrick!"

"Do not fear, old freinds. It was to be my fate. Avenge me...." The carnifex dies, falling forward onto Fullbladder.

The other Carnifexes attack Fullbladder, four sets of various types of claws slaming down upon him.

[Dr. Bath]

"Hello there old chap." is the shout from Dr. Bath as he lunges at the Carnifexes attacking Fullbladder, oblittorating the first in a lance of Psycik energy from his force weapon.

[Mr. Moon]

The Hive Tyrant walks forward, picking Bath up by his neck as he goes past. That's an interesting weapon you have there.

[Exachix]

Exachix watches, chuckling.

[Dr. Bath]

Swinging the force brush, Dr. Bath pokes the hive tyrant in the face, making a large hole from front to back.

[Lord Magtok]

Magtok suddenly materializes behind Exy with a dart gun.

I'm afraid we can't keep you here, Exy. Rabid animals are too dangerous, so I'm going to have to put a stop to this before you bite anyone else.

[Mr. Moon]

The Hive Tyrant holds Bath out at full arm's leingth. There is a slight waver in the phsykic communication he uses - his way of chuckling. Now now, that's no way to treat a fellow gentlebeast.

[Castaras]

Gah, has no-one made the thread yet?

*sigh* Lazy idiots.

Castaras' player goes to make a new thread.

[Exachix]

Exachix rolls his eyes.

"1) if I really was rabid... I'd be long dead. 2) If you are bit by an animal it's a rabies Jab not a Tetnus jab. I was nitpicking."

[Castaras]

Here you are, you lazy lot. Have a new thread. (http://www.giantitp.com/forums/showthread.php?p=2875367#post2875367)

[Dr. Bath]

"Oh, so sorry, I just got a little trigger happy there. It's a problem when using this darned thing." The scrubbing brush, picking up a psykic resonence, begin to sing the lumberjack song by Monty Python.

Dr. Bath starts hitting it, as that is the only proper way to fix anything.