View Full Version : Worst. Comic. Ever.
Sausagician
2006-07-23, 08:04 AM
Superman with a Santa-beard and a humongous gun vs. not one, but two hitler clones in a post-apocalyptic setting.
Oh, god. (http://www.redshirt.co.uk/media/supernazis/index.htm)
Steward
2006-07-23, 02:45 PM
Dear God...
RemoJr
2006-07-23, 02:55 PM
i think that thing just killed off some of my brain cells.
Flabbicus
2006-07-23, 03:03 PM
I think my brain just leaked out of my ear.
Why would they clone Elvis!?
Steward
2006-07-23, 03:21 PM
I think my brain just leaked out of my ear.
Why would they clone Elvis!?
Why would they clone Hitler? Elvis, I can understand. A lot of people like his music, and I think that a lot of people would pay good money if someone were to resurrect the King of Rock "n" Roll. Cloning Hitler, on the other hand, would be pointless after cloning KENNEDY and EINSTEIN.
Jibar
2006-07-23, 03:36 PM
I'd say why, but it might be touchong on religion.
Needless to say, it's a very good reason to clone him.
And am I the only one who thought the idea was cool but the execution stupid as hell?
The_Logic_Ninja
2006-07-23, 03:46 PM
Yes. You are.
TWO Hitler clones! doesn't a good idea make.
Steward
2006-07-23, 04:02 PM
And am I the only one who thought the idea was cool
No, no it wasn't.
Calvin Coolidge's Cloning Center
"Hey, we've cloned Elvis, Einstein, Kennedy...what next?"
"I know! Hitler! Hitler!"
"Huh? But why? We've already proved that we can clone humans, and famous ones at that. What's the point?"
"I can't tell you. But let's do it."
"Okay, fine. But let's clone him not once but twice!"
Sigh. "Whatever. You're paying for it, though."
-----
What would be slightly more interesting would be a clone of Hitler who wasn't an evil megalomaniac. Sort of a nature vs. nurture type thing.
Flabbicus
2006-07-23, 04:06 PM
Why couldn't they clone someone powerful... like I don't know... Superman!
At least that would make a hell of a lot more sense than cloning a world-infamous dictator!
Clone some superhero's!
TinSoldier
2006-07-23, 08:12 PM
I think that CelestialStick will have a good time with this!
TruenuffTrey
2006-07-23, 08:19 PM
Yikes. That was an abomination to all comics everywhere.
elliott20
2006-07-23, 09:11 PM
my god... that comic looks so god awful I think I actually need to own a copy of this piece of unintentional literary hilarity.
ElfLad
2006-07-23, 09:49 PM
Why did the Hitler clones style their hair the same way? It would have been so awesome to see one Hitler with dreadlocks and another with a walrus mustache and muttonchops. But we get the same boring little Hitler-stache.
The Vorpal Tribble
2006-07-23, 10:01 PM
*slumps silently in his chair and gives up the ghost*
I gotta see CS reaction to this...
this....
...this is just the....
....I....
...well...
...no, wait....
...wha....
...he....the....
....what?
Felinoid
2006-07-24, 12:10 AM
Ehhhhhhh...I didn't get that at all. But I think it may have been my brain protecting itself by preventing a hemorrhage. :P
how did Hitler cause EVERY war?
is he retro-evil?
1337_master
2006-07-24, 12:15 AM
Why couldn't they clone someone powerful... like I don't know... Superman!
At least that would make a hell of a lot more sense than cloning a world-infamous dictator!
Clone some superhero's!
BY CERBURUS AND/OR ANY OTHER AWESOME EVIL GODS
OR ENTITIES, SUPER MAN SUCKS, HE CAN BE SLAIN WITH A ROCK!!! Its like, hey Im superman, I am going to kill you now, and then you say, well I got a rock, and superman dies, and by cerbures, I wouldn't feel safe protected by him
Steward
2006-07-24, 12:34 AM
how did Hitler cause EVERY war?
is he retro-evil?
He's Hitler. His evil transcends time, space, logic...
Haggis_McCrablice
2006-07-24, 03:02 AM
Is this Superdickery.com-worthy, you think?
Look carefully at the panel with the Hitler Twins and you'll note the name "L. Luthor" stenciled on one of the cloning tanks...what, they needed another megalomaniac and decided to Xerox ol' Baldy too?
Oh, it can get worse. I wrote a fake movie review for my site once which looked at a movie where scientists cloned Hitler's butt (http://www.freewebs.com/welcometolemora/smokingcatnewslinks.htm)...and it starrred Andy ****. Ironically I did that because I couldn't make the idea work as a comic script...guess I should have tried harder.... :-/
The_Pyre
2006-07-24, 05:48 AM
I thought it was a joke. A bad one at that. Or at least a subpar webcomic.
But apparently, I was wrong.
No words can describe the horror DC unleashed by publishing that monstrosity. The author deserves to suffer the same way Batman's body did, with all copies of that abomination burned with him. >:(
Sir_Rosh
2006-07-24, 06:05 AM
Tom Veitch must have some cloning fetish. He wrote Star Wars: Dark Empire in which the crew fight.... you guessed it a clone of the Emperor.
If you want a great Superman story check out Alan Moores' "Whatever Happened to the Man of Tomorrow?"
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Superman:_Whatever_Happened_to_the_Man_of_Tomorrow %3F
Artisan
2006-07-24, 06:12 AM
I dunno...it's probably still better than (and Is wear to cthulhu this is an actual comic) Archie meets THE PUNISHER (http://www.fresh99.com/images/comicbooks/archie-punisher.jpg)
Cardel
2006-07-24, 08:59 AM
I dunno...it's probably still better than (and Is wear to cthulhu this is an actual comic) Archie meets THE PUNISHER (http://www.fresh99.com/images/comicbooks/archie-punisher.jpg)
No wonder there are so many people who say comics rot your brains... seriously, what were these people on to come up with these really REALLY dumb ideas?!
Lizard_SF
2006-07-24, 10:20 AM
I am just going to assume this was a parody of over-the-top hyper-violent yet preaching-anti-violence comics, and the fact that such comics are so close to self-parody themselves makes the satire in this rather moot.
Also, "DNA Diktators" sounds like they were trying to do a Kirby riff, and failing badly. Only Jack can pull that **** off, and he's dead.
Alchemistmerlin
2006-07-24, 10:45 AM
how did Hitler cause EVERY war?
is he retro-evil?
I don't think it was meant that way. It was a lame attempt at metaphore that failed.
Hitler didn't cause every war, but people like him.
Dawnstrider_Moogle
2006-07-24, 10:54 AM
"Do you know why your precious Krypton was destroyed, man of steel?
...HITLER did it!"
No, this is DC... they meant that Hitler caused every war. I'm sure, when they were writing it, they meant to imply he started every war since WWI, but failed miserably at getting their point across.
Artisan
2006-07-24, 11:05 AM
"Hitler killed your parents, Caped Crusader"
"Thanagarian War? Yeah, totally Hitler's fault"
"With great power comes great responsibility...oh! And Hitler!"
Lizard_SF
2006-07-24, 11:07 AM
"Hitler killed your parents, Caped Crusader"
"Thanagarian War? Yeah, totally Hitler's fault"
"With great power comes great responsibility...oh! And Hitler!"
Hitler killed Uncle Ben.
Hitler sabotaged Victor Von Doom's experiment back in college.
Hitler created Doomsday.
Hitler killed Uncle Ben.
Hitler sabotaged Victor Von Doom's experiment back in college.
Hitler created Doomsday.
Hitler was the demon in the Green Lanter that drove Hal Jordon insane
Hitler molested Cap. Marvel
Hitler twisted Casandra Cain to the dark side
Hitler made Beast into a putter cat
Hitler destroyed Genosa
Hitler killed Jason Todd
the best part was superman's unexplained flamability and not bullet proofness
Jibar
2006-07-24, 12:11 PM
He had been disconnected with the sun for too long...
He mentioned it in one of the panels...
He had been disconnected with the sun for too long...
He mentioned it in one of the panels...
BULLOCKS
he's able to recharge from the sun in a mere mater of hours! Superman Returns it took one trip into higher atmosphere. What did Hitler block out the sun!?
Flabbicus
2006-07-24, 01:15 PM
He used the power of evil, or bad plot device.
He used the power of evil, or bad plot device.
You know what would have saved this comic!?
HITLER TWIN POWERS ACTIVATE!!!!
H1 "FORM OF A TANK!"
H2 FORM OF A PEROGI!
Flabbicus
2006-07-24, 01:31 PM
Your mincing comic-book characters now Ing.
And besides, everyone knows that Bucket of Water and Shark are the best. ;D
Your mincing comic-book characters now Ing.
And besides, everyone knows that Bucket of Water and Shark are the best. ;D
I know I'm mincing but if the Hitler Twins had HAD the Wondertwin powers that would have made this THE BEST COMIC EVER.
especially if the transformations were German based. maybe one could turn into German war machines the other into forms of German snitzle.
Steward
2006-07-24, 01:38 PM
No, this is DC... they meant that Hitler caused every war. I'm sure, when they were writing it, they meant to imply he started every war since WWI, but failed miserably at getting their point across.
Here's a quote:
"I understand now. The nations had to defend themselves... they had to build engines of destruction, in order to stop you... once the arms race started, it never stopped... more and more deadly weapons, more hatred, more killing... all because of you!"
I have a hard time believing that the world was a bastion of peace before Hitler and that the war that sparked all the other deadly weapons and hatred and killing was WW2.
ElfLad
2006-07-24, 01:46 PM
Hitler crucified Jesus.
http://www.superdickery.com/images/propaganda/GOD.jpg
Flabbicus
2006-07-24, 01:48 PM
That's dipping into religion.
Steward
2006-07-24, 02:07 PM
Elflad, did you do that with photoshop? Please say you did?
Elflad, did you do that with photoshop? Please say you did?
He didn't I've seen it before
its funnier once you realized God is wearing wonderwoman's bracelets.
btw, the link has been posted up in the superdick forums.
GeeVee
2006-07-24, 02:21 PM
Hitler crucified Jesus.
http://www.superdickery.com/images/propaganda/GOD.jpg
Oh. My. God.
Just...
Ergh...
Why...?
I having trouble deciding which one is worse, the Superman one or...this. Probably the first one, though. I hereby declare that all the world's stupidity comes from comic books. This is why comic books corrupt our children. :P
Also, I can't believe someone would make something called "GOD Comics". That would probably make for some very uninteresting reading material, Him being omniscient and omnipotent and all that.
Then again, it'd probably be exactly like most Superman comics. ::)
saraswati
2006-07-24, 02:41 PM
The layers of irony involved in Jesus himself saying "I'm saved" as God rescuses him from his divinely appointed crucifixion just made my head explode.
That's way more interesting than God's little foray into women's jewelry.
Just. Wow.
As for the posted comic it's the dialog really that does it for me. As far as plot goes, yes, I agree: two hitlers is pretty much a losing proposition for coherence. But stranger things have been made interesting in the wide world of comics.
It's the impossibly laughable dialog that makes you cringe. This soooooo needs some form of MST3K commentary.
The layers of irony involved in Jesus himself saying "I'm saved" as God rescuses him from his divinely appointed crucifixion just made my head explode.
That's way more interesting than God's little foray into women's jewelry.
Just. Wow.
As for the posted comic it's the dialog really that does it for me. As far as plot goes, yes, I agree: two hitlers is pretty much a losing proposition for coherence. But stranger things have been made interesting in the wide world of comics.
It's the impossibly laughable dialog that makes you cringe. This soooooo needs some form of MST3K commentary.
He's right thouse....2 hitlers clones would be intersting if it wasn't so clichely done (in that they were exactly like Hitler)
personally I plan to now just write a story to prove that the idea can be done well...ish.
dragonspar
2006-07-24, 03:04 PM
That was just bad.
BTW, the punisher vrs archie comic, yeah, its real, I have read it. Ends with wolverine being sent after jughead. Really. Least thats what I recall, been a few years.
U2QueenBee
2006-07-24, 03:31 PM
You know what would have saved this comic!?
HITLER TWIN POWERS ACTIVATE!!!!
H1 "FORM OF A TANK!"
H2 FORM OF A PEROGI!
I just have to say that that made me laugh harder than I have probably in years (or it just feels that way cause I've been depressed lately.) Either way, kudos!
Both of those comics just...gaaaah....if ever there was an apt time to use the phrase 'the mind boggles', this is it. I'm utterly, unstoppably boggled. (Also, does 'God' look suspiciously like Santa Superman? I smell a conspiracy...)
HypnoticMonk
2006-07-24, 06:57 PM
I love comics. I have for years. Now if you will excuse me, I have to go and claw my eyes out with an icepick. I can't subject my poor eyes to anything like that ever again without suffering permanent dain bramage... (Damn those were bad!!)
I just have to say that that made me laugh harder than I have probably in years (or it just feels that way cause I've been depressed lately.) Either way, kudos!
Both of those comics just...gaaaah....if ever there was an apt time to use the phrase 'the mind boggles', this is it. I'm utterly, unstoppably boggled. (Also, does 'God' look suspiciously like Santa Superman? I smell a conspiracy...)
glad i could help *click click ;) *. my work here is done
*flys through the roof into power lines*
Tom Veitch must have some cloning fetish. He wrote Star Wars: Dark Empire in which the crew fight.... you guessed it a clone of the Emperor.
Yeah, but Dark Empire's good. Better art, too.
Dark Empire II got a little weird for my taste, and Empire's End *really* stretches it out, and I never even read all of Crimson Empire and Crimson Empire II (but CE2 has Nom Anor in it!)
-Actually, watch Revenge of the Sith and then read Dark Empire. It's even better that way.
Yeah, but Dark Empire's good. Better art, too.
Dark Empire II got a little weird for my taste, and Empire's End *really* stretches it out, and I never even read all of Crimson Empire and Crimson Empire II (but CE2 has Nom Anor in it!)
-Actually, watch Revenge of the Sith and then read Dark Empire. It's even better that way.
Dark Empire's great because it means Vader's noble sacrifice meant NOTHING!!!!
take that ya cripple wrinkle assed bastard!
Dark Empire's great because it means Vader's noble sacrifice meant NOTHING!!!!
take that ya cripple wrinkle assed bastard!
Precisely. Palpatine's just that bad-ass.
-Even if he dies, he wins.
BelkarsDagger
2006-07-25, 12:44 AM
OH. MY. GOD.
That comic was 73l-l 5uxx0rz.
Now, allow me to wash my brain in bleach...
Zeful
2006-07-25, 01:34 AM
He's right thouse....2 hitlers clones would be intersting if it wasn't so clichely done (in that they were exactly like Hitler)
personally I plan to now just write a story to prove that the idea can be done well...ish.
The stories been done Ing, the 2099 series by John Peel (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/John_Peel_(writer)). If you want a hitler story replace Tristan, Devon, and Jame with Hitler1,2, and 3 respectivly.
Death, your friend the Reaper
2006-07-25, 04:13 AM
Where can you buy one of these wonderful comics from? ;)
Jibar
2006-07-25, 04:32 AM
The God comics one was a joke, from DC I think. It was featured on the back of one of the issues. I know someone who has it, I'll find out what comic.
bluish_wolf
2006-07-25, 06:38 AM
OH. MY. GOD.
That comic was 73l-l 5uxx0rz.
Now, allow me to wash my brain in bleach...
Do you mean the cleaning fluid or animé series?
Were-Sandwich
2006-07-25, 07:59 AM
I thought it was knida cool,ina stupid kind of way. And it does work better if you imagine its santa.
Shakalooloo_Doom
2006-07-25, 09:39 AM
BULLOCKS
he's able to recharge from the sun in a mere mater of hours! Superman Returns it took one trip into higher atmosphere. What did Hitler block out the sun!?
Since it's called Superman at Earth's End, I'm assuming that it's set in a future when the Sun is a lot closer to dying, and so not as Superman-friendly.
Oh God, how can I be acting as an apologist for this?
larnman2
2006-07-25, 10:25 AM
Where was the gun in most of the scenes, because he got it, then you don't see it at all, then he whips it out of nowhere to suddenly attack the hitler twins.
[form of: a plothole]
LordOfNarf
2006-07-25, 11:55 AM
That was just bad, it seems horrible and i an't belive anyone actually published that
Where was the gun in most of the scenes, because he got it, then you don't see it at all, then he whips it out of nowhere to suddenly attack the hitler twins.
[form of: a plothole]
Superman has super anal packing powers.
ElfLad
2006-07-25, 02:11 PM
Since it's called Superman at Earth's End, I'm assuming that it's set in a future when the Sun is a lot closer to dying, and so not as Superman-friendly.
Oh God, how can I be acting as an apologist for this?
Yes, but it would take several millenia for the sun to deteriorate to that point, and since this appears to be within a few decades (at most) of Bruce's death, it can't be longer than one hundred years. And if global warming has any credence, the sun would actually be stronger by then, or at least the atmosphere would block less of its rays
Flabbicus
2006-07-25, 02:19 PM
So using greenhouse gases helps Superman's powers!?
Quick! We have to help him!
Steward
2006-07-25, 04:04 PM
So using greenhouse gases helps Superman's powers!?
Quick! We have to help him!
Yes! Aerosol-Man to the rescue!
Yes, but it would take several millenia for the sun to deteriorate to that point, and since this appears to be within a few decades (at most) of Bruce's death, it can't be longer than one hundred years. And if global warming has any credence, the sun would actually be stronger by then, or at least the atmosphere would block less of its rays
You're apparently putting more thought into this than the writer did.
Flabbicus
2006-07-25, 04:11 PM
Are you assuming that whoever wrote this ever thought it through!? ???
Steward
2006-07-25, 04:13 PM
Are you assuming that whoever wrote this ever thought it through!? ???
I don't even think that a person wrote this. I think that a disgruntled engineer fired from Action comics rewired a Porta-potty to generate comic strips about Santa Superman. You know, the same toilet that writes the Garfield strips.
Electric_Bard
2006-07-25, 04:32 PM
(twich) my... (twich) arrrg...
(twich) my... (twich) arrrg...
It must be popular though.
I know i GOTTA get that comic.
The_Logic_Ninja
2006-07-25, 10:11 PM
I don't even think that a person wrote this. I think that a disgruntled engineer fired from Action comics rewired a Porta-potty to generate comic strips about Santa Superman. You know, the same toilet that writes the Garfield strips.
Now, now.
Jim Davis doesn't actually write Garfield anymore.
Steward
2006-07-25, 10:13 PM
Now, now.
Jim Davis doesn't actually write Garfield anymore.
Ouch.
Really, though, I knew that. Garfield is actually written and drawn by the same robots that decide the TV's fall line-up.
Beep boop-boop beep! "More reality shows! Garfield is fat and likes lasagna! RENEW HOPE AND FAITH! Garfield hates Mondays!" Beep boop-boop bop!
Ouch.
Really, though, I knew that. Garfield is actually written and drawn by the same robots that decide the TV's fall line-up.
Beep boop-boop beep! "More reality shows! Garfield is fat and likes lasagna! RENEW HOPE AND FAITH! Garfield hates Mondays!" Beep boop-boop bop! FLUSH
fixed
and i used to like Garfield.
Haggis_McCrablice
2006-07-26, 03:06 AM
Is Jim Davis still living?
I mean, yeah, I like Garfield too, but I say let Odie exhibit some real dog behaviors for a change. Drink out of the toilet. Dump the garbage all over the kitchen. Wee on the carpet. ;D
And let's face it: Nazis are comic gold. The Three Stooges knew it. Charlie Chaplin knew it. Bob Crane and Werner Klemperer knew it.
Badmofo
2006-07-26, 03:39 AM
I do belive that comic has been used in Gitmo ta get the bad guys talking...
Duncan_MacSmasher
2006-07-26, 09:44 AM
The moral of the story is: Santa-Super-Anal Packing-Gun Man and Garfield suck.
Deuce
2006-07-26, 10:02 AM
Ouch.
Really, though, I knew that. Garfield is actually written and drawn by the same robots that decide the TV's fall line-up.
Beep boop-boop beep! "More reality shows! Garfield is fat and likes lasagna! RENEW HOPE AND FAITH! Garfield hates Mondays!" Beep boop-boop bop!
Reminds me a little of how South Park portrayed the writers from "Family Guy" in "Cartoon Wars - part 2"
Jibar
2006-07-26, 10:02 AM
This just made me think.
Wouldn't it be awesome if there was a superhero who's power was that he knew EVERYTHING about comic books?
He would defeat his enemies by relaying the worst comics ever to them, or by doing something that a comic hero did in the exact same situation.
This comic would be one of his deadliest weapons.
Steward
2006-07-27, 02:34 AM
This just made me think.
Wouldn't it be awesome if there was a superhero who's power was that he knew EVERYTHING about comic books?
He would defeat his enemies by relaying the worst comics ever to them, or by doing something that a comic hero did in the exact same situation.
This comic would be one of his deadliest weapons.
Actually, his real power would be being able to duplicate the feats in comic books. Studying Spider-Man's tactics is worthless unless you have radioactive blood.
Actually, his real power would be being able to duplicate the feats in comic books. Studying Spider-Man's tactics is worthless unless you have radioactive blood.
Shouldn't MJ have cancer from being around his radioactive blood (and other fluids) for so long?
Coffee_Dragon
2006-07-27, 09:40 AM
Shouldn't MJ have cancer from being around his radioactive blood (and other fluids) for so long?
#7 on the list of Wouldn't It Be Funny If Story Hooks that No One Actually Needs to Explore.
Duncan_MacSmasher
2006-07-27, 11:13 AM
Actually, it turns out that Spider Man was bitten by a magic spider, now. Not a radioactive one. Which is incredibly stupid, but apparently, our favorite fat whore Joey Q thought is was a good idea.
Jibar
2006-07-27, 11:49 AM
Hey!
He didn't say that!
It's only been hinted that there might be something magical going on.
At least, as far as I'm up to date.
Isn't he still in the Iron Spider suit anyway?
Duncan_MacSmasher
2006-07-27, 12:46 PM
I didn't actually read "The Other," but his magicalness was firmly established and he will remain Iron Spidey throughout Civil War, I think.
#7 on the list of Wouldn't It Be Funny If Story Hooks that No One Actually Needs to Explore.
huh? should there be a comma or quotes around there?
Coffee_Dragon
2006-07-27, 02:19 PM
huh? should there be a comma or quotes around there?
Imagine an ellipsis after "if" for extra clarity. As in, "What if..."
Steward
2006-07-27, 02:35 PM
Shouldn't MJ have cancer from being around his radioactive blood (and other fluids) for so long?
I don't know. I don't think that Spidey has radioactive blood. I got it from that song:
"Is he strong? Listen bud, he's got radioactive blood."
Personally, I don't understand how having 'radioactive blood' would make you 'strong' but then again I am not a mad scientist.
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