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mezz09
2006-01-11, 06:22 PM
a tale thats too witty

please read it at http://home.giftedscribble.co.uk/toowitty/index.html

the forum now works!!!

Sophistemon
2006-01-11, 10:24 PM
It's interesting, but you should probably have more than two comics done before you start linking to it.

Karellen
2006-01-12, 12:34 AM
Also, to be perfectly honest, the amount of funny to be found in the two strips is so infinitestimally small, I would suggest you consider ways to improve it.

BardicLasher
2006-01-12, 01:43 AM
And it's... not particularly attractive.

Miles Invictus
2006-01-12, 02:55 AM
In the spirit of constructive criticism, I suggest you include proper grammar, spelling, and punctuation in your dialogue, and that you switch to hand-drawn art or at least refine your spriteworking skills.

You may also want to script your dialogue beforehand and test it out on people around you. See what they find funny, and what they think could make something funny.

What you've got right now is -- no offense -- not particularly good, but I see some potential in it. Comics 3 and 6, for example, could be quite humorous if reworked slightly, and if the artwork was a little more expressive.

You should keep working at it, though. Most cartoonists do not start out brilliant or great; they get there by plugging away endlessly, always seeking to get better at their craft. If you really want to make a great comic, you should do the same.

brainwipe
2006-01-12, 05:10 AM
I agree with Miles Invictus. Keep hacking away and don't feel bound by the graphics you're using.

Also, if you save your images as 'gif' files, they'll appear sharper and will not take so long to download.

Sophistemon
2006-01-12, 05:16 PM
Keep working at it and I'm sure that you'll improve.

shnu
2006-01-13, 03:28 AM
It's perfectly alright to link to a comic with only two entries.

Just don't build up people's expectations before they click on the link: they'll be harsher critics if they are disappointed.

shnu
2006-01-13, 03:33 AM
It's up to 16 issues now.

My comments: it's kind of nice, but I don't read many comics and I won't bookmark this one. I like the iconic style: very distinctive, might make for effective story telling later, and I like the to-the-point action. I don't generally like D&D-rulesey comics (Oots is a category defying exception), and you *must* fix your spelling: it jarred for me, and it will put others off.

Advice: The next thing you should do is go back and fix spelling mistakes! Now! Before you have too many comics to tackle the task.

shnu
2006-01-13, 03:36 AM
Unwanted advice #2: if you want more people to particpate in your forum, allow unsigned users to post. It attracts spam, but there are workarounds for that, and it will dramatically increase fly-by participation, which is what you need when starting out.