Funniest moment as a player

[Theobod]

Just thought I would share this with you folks and hopefully start up a discussion about what everyone's best and most humorous moments at table are, after all there's a million and one 'terrible DMs', 'worst moments' and 'worst players' threads out there (infact i'm reading a few out of sheer morbid curiosity and to brush up on my 'what NOT to do' list).

So without further ado:
I and my companions have been travelling through the wilderness for a while from town to town and this country has proven to be utterly awful, EVERY town and village has something wrong with it or some nasty beast attacking it, we have found a town infested with plague zombies, no less than two cults of elder evils and some very creepy villagers, so we were utterly enamoured to find this lovely little burg near the coast that had ABSOLUTELY NOTHING wrong with it as far as we could tell, we inquired and found out that since a druid passed through a while back everyone has had a massive string of good luck, they had no diseases, their children were growing up healthy, their yields were great, not so much as a wolf in the nearby woods and while we sat in the tavern drinking an unclaimed, unbranded herd of domestic animals wandered into town! The place was idyllic, we were initially sceptical but nothing was wrong that we could determine, I was utterly paranoid for the longest time and even I was coming around to the idea that this place might just be the exception to an otherwise nasty land.
And I was explaining this loudly and happily to our party barbarian when the party ranger leaned in and whispered in my ear:
'Lawrence! These people don't BLEED!'
I nearly died with shock IC and laughter OC and we got the hell out of there scared and creeped out at a fast pace, as it turned out the Ranger spot checked a barmaid break a glass in her hand and just brushed it off without injury, we are NEVER going back there.

Looking forward to hearing all you're stories and, relaying this, I may have to start writing up this campaign too :smallbiggrin:

[mastermisha1]

Funniest moment in game was the time our DM had thought he could force us to leave a massive pile of treasure behind by throwing a Yuan-Ti abomination at us. Disabling it was a synch, but we were so loaded down with loot that we were crawling out of there. The DM figured we would abandon loot to escape the abomination whose regeneration we couldn't overcome (regen beaten by good adamantium weapons, which we had none of.) It was then that we had the brilliant idea to have our barbarian wield the adamantium doors we were using as sleds to haul all the loot to smash the thing back to hell, while we cast align weapon on the now improvised door weaponry. It was by far the biggest swear storm we had ever heard out of him, which is saying a lot since just earlier that day a custom built, multi headed dragon impersonating Tiamat failed a fortune save against the green veil of our 7 veiled caster with a natural 1.

[phlidwsn]

...I was coming around to the idea that this place might just be the exception to an otherwise nasty land.
And I was explaining this loudly and happily to our party barbarian when the party ranger leaned in and whispered in my ear:
'Lawrence! These people don't BLEED!'

Sounds like a lovely little village up the coast (http://www.lfg.co/page/248/)

[Thealtruistorc]

So our party had just gotten a new player, a tiefling cleric that the player has since carried over to literally every adventure we have ever run. In the first session, she was helping us take down a mob when she found herself unconscious at the feet of a berserking flesh golem. I, being the party muscle, decided to save the day in the only way I could think of: Grappling the sucker long engough for the other party members to get her to safety.

I run at the golem and end up rolling a natural 1 on my grapple check. There is an extended period of silence before my DM finally announces the fudged result: "the golem also fails his grapple check and you two fall into a tender, loving embrace."

My character was severely uncomfortable for the rest of the session.

I have a few other fun incidents, but they are rather NSFW in nature.

[Bobby Baratheon]

Our DM spent three weeks slaving over an underwater adventure - setting up maps, quest chains, vivid NPCs, etc. This was a oddball campaign that combined Star Wars and D&D (magic=force) which was a ton of fun, so at one point we'd gotten a wand of silence in a random loot drop, which he'd forgotten about. His big hook to get us down there was a siren, who was going to enrapture us with her singing and lead us down to her lair/people/whatever. We're walking along the beach, looking for something (landmines, I think?) and the siren pops out. We get the drop on her, wand of silence her, and brutally murder her in one round. The DM just went quiet for a minute, then decided to go with his other planned adventure, a derelict Titanic-esque space yacht filled with zombies and medusas. To this day I'm impressed that he was willing to let us go off the rails like that, and it still makes me laugh :smalltongue:

[Daddoo]

To kill time a friend of mine asked me to run a game of DnD 3.0 so we both rolled up chracters and started playing. Another friend saw us and asked to join a couple of sessions later. I was DM and playing a Elven Druid while my first buddy was playing a stuck up grouchy Gold Elf Arcane Archer. The new guy decided to play a Half-Orc Barbarian and rolled a rather low Int score. He really made that character work playing the dumb brute up really well. Since he was our highest HP PC he became the door opener and as a barbarian our trap finder as well. A few sessions down the road another friend asked to play and to fill a missing piece decided to play a Halfling Rogue. Walking through a forest we spot what might be a net trap, before anyone could say anything the Barbarian walks over grabs the Halfling and throws him into the trap. Everyone just looked at him with wide eyes he casually says "What? you said he was here to remove traps". So began the hilarious life of Mike the half orc Barbarian.

[Daddoo]

Our DM spent three weeks slaving over an underwater adventure - setting up maps, quest chains, vivid NPCs, etc.:smalltongue:

I once spent two days making the perfect dragon combatant in 2E and the darn thing rolls a 1 on it's first attack, they slaughtered it before it could recover.

[Theobod]

That reminds me of the human pyramid I once played in xD not quite as wonderful as halfling chucking but close ;)

I was playing a strongheart halfling Warmage, my two other party mates were a necropolitan human dread necromancer and an ogre crusader, there came a point when the water was too high to wade in for me so I mounted the ogre and cast spells from his shoulders, the necropolitan didn't mind walking underwater and the ogre just had difficult terrain for waist high wading so all was well, when it dawned on us... A small and medium spellcaster with a large melee brute...

The next encounter we confidently strode into battle, the ogre smashing face mounted by the necromancer slinging curses and the halfling on top like an elementalist cherry upon the cheesecake of our party :D

Good times while it lasted, party split due to differences on opinions a few seshes later.

[Daddoo]

That reminds me of the human pyramid I once played in xD not quite as wonderful as halfling chucking but close ;)

I was playing a strongheart halfling Warmage, my two other party mates were a necropolitan human dread necromancer and an ogre crusader, there came a point when the water was too high to wade in for me so I mounted the ogre and cast spells from his shoulders, the necropolitan didn't mind walking underwater and the ogre just had difficult terrain for waist high wading so all was well, when it dawned on us... A small and medium spellcaster with a large melee brute...

The next encounter we confidently strode into battle, the ogre smashing face mounted by the necromancer slinging curses and the halfling on top like an elementalist cherry upon the cheesecake of our party :D

Good times while it lasted, party split due to differences on opinions a few seshes later.
That is too funny

[Inevitability]

That reminds me of the human pyramid I once played in xD not quite as wonderful as halfling chucking but close ;)

I was playing a strongheart halfling Warmage, my two other party mates were a necropolitan human dread necromancer and an ogre crusader, there came a point when the water was too high to wade in for me so I mounted the ogre and cast spells from his shoulders, the necropolitan didn't mind walking underwater and the ogre just had difficult terrain for waist high wading so all was well, when it dawned on us... A small and medium spellcaster with a large melee brute...

The next encounter we confidently strode into battle, the ogre smashing face mounted by the necromancer slinging curses and the halfling on top like an elementalist cherry upon the cheesecake of our party :D

Good times while it lasted, party split due to differences on opinions a few seshes later.

I had a similar situation, where after emptying a Bag of Tricks the party had acquired a... diverse arrangement of animals.

After some ridiculous shuffling, they managed to put a monkey on the gnome sorcerer on a dire badger on a tiger on a giant moose. In retrospect, I should've remembered the encumbrance rules.

[Red Fel]

I run at the golem and end up rolling a natural 1 on my grapple check. There is an extended period of silence before my DM finally announces the fudged result: "the golem also fails his grapple check and you two fall into a tender, loving embrace."

My character was severely uncomfortable for the rest of the session.

http://i.imgur.com/mEs0Vvr.jpg

[Theobod]

-good times-

Old but still fantastic. Still tickles our gaming group and gets mentioned periodically.

[atemu1234]

Any time a high-bluff character says "I roll to seduce."

[Thurbane]

One that comes to mind is during a dungeon crawl, one of the players was a spiked chain tripper (Fighter) who loved showboating every when he won a combat.

We had a fight in a prison area of the dungeon (prisoners locked in cells behind bars).

After he defeated the MBEG/jailer, he did a lap of the cells to "high five" all of the prisoners through the bars.

What he didn't know was that according to the module, one of the shadowy cells contained an imprisoned wight, and his "high five" ended up in a lost level.

...the other players lost it laughing, and even the player with the lost level thought it was pretty funny.

:biggrin:

[Azoth]

This one was a bit recent, and still makes me chuckle. I was playing a shield focused Warder in our pathfinder game that specialized in Bull rushing enemies. We get attacked by several Harpy Rangers and we get a startling realization that no one in our group is worth anything at ranged combat. There is nowhere to run to force the fight to melee range at all. So we are thinking that we just have to run away and deal with this some other way at a later time.

Cue the party Barbarian telling me to plant myself firmly under a Harpy because he has an idea. I do so, just to see what idiocy he is up to, when he tells me to ready to shield bash him when he is directly over head. I am laughing hysterically already, and he goes for it. He declares a charge attack at the Harpy above me and says he has an ability that allows him one turn on a charge up to 90 degrees and he is using it straight up. So he comes running at me full tilt, jumps over me, I bullrush him 30ft up, he uses a boost to make an jump check as a swift action from mid air to get the last bit of height he needs and grapples the Harpy. He is smiling and cheering, we are all patting him on the back for snatching a Harpy 40ft out of the air, when the DM calmly says, "The Barbarian, Harpy, and Warder all take 17 damage...and are all prone in a heap of metal, leather, and feathers."

[Thurbane]

There was another funny moment with the same player as above, this time playing a Halfling Rogue.

We were both playing in a different group that we hadn't gamed with much. One of the players was really obnoxious, and as a result, so was his Shifter Barbarian character.

Our party was in a bar, after completing a particularly disturbing horror based adventure. The Shifter was at the bar, trying to drink away the horrors he had witnessed, and said to the bartender "Give me something to knock me out!". The Halfling slips up behind him and sneak attacks him with a sap to the head.

The Halfling rolled very close to maximum SA damage - exactly enough nonlethal damage to reduce the Shifter to negatives, and unconsciousness! :smalltongue:

...couldn't have happened to a nicer Shifter. He got his request to be KO'd fulfilled, but not exactly how he expected!

[Pex]

Not funny as in haha but funny in the irony.

Recent game. The party is hanging out at the tavern. We meet a group of NPC strangers the DM made note of. The rogue started to tell them all about us. The paladin had to kick him under the table to shut him up.

[digiman619]

This happened in a 5th edition game, but worth sharing. I was playing a Wild Magic Sorcerer, and he gave me an item the triggered my Wild Magic EVERY TIME i used a spell even cantrips. We were in the middle of a narrow tunnel and were attacked by kobolds. I cast the 0-level acid spell (I forget the name) past the rest of the party and kill a kobold. Unfortunately, my wild magic triggered, and all of a sudden I've got a unicorn up my backside (thankfully not entirely literally). Either way, it was really uncomfortable until the minute-long summoning was over.

Also, the same unicorn later was instrumental in having our level 1 party kill a Adult Blue Dragon, but that's another story. :smallcool:

[RingofThorns]

me and some friends were playing a game as an adventuring company that is about in the middle of their careers, well we are down in some dark dungeon or another and we are looking around to try and find all the loot we were supposed to find. I am playing a rogue so I am out in front of the party looking for traps and the like and come across a massive pair of doors, I mean these things were like ten feet tall at the top of the ark if not higher. I go back and tell the party about them and of course the brilliant fighter jumps up and rushes to open the door, I had to stop him and explain any door that big without a lock had to have something big and scary on the other side of it. I had them wait while I climbed up to the top of the arch and tied a bundle of acid flasks and alchemists fire together once I had that done I signaled to open the door, as soon as they even moved the doors they swing inwards and out came some massive giant/troll thing. When it walked out I told the dm "I swing the bundle of flasks into its face." DM rolled to see if the monster dodged and got a one, he proceeded to tell us how this thing got hit in the face and pretty much loony toons right into a wall.

[Psyren]

http://i.imgur.com/mEs0Vvr.jpg

This was made into a comic too.

"Ma, Pa - I'd like you to meet Throzar, former Scourge of the North." (https://mythjae.wordpress.com/2016/01/28/fated-3/)

[Theobod]

Fantastic, I have just sent this to all my players.

[Pex]

This was made into a comic too.

"Ma, Pa - I'd like you to meet Throzar, former Scourge of the North." (https://mythjae.wordpress.com/2016/01/28/fated-3/)

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
:smallbiggrin:

[Snappy]

I was running a loose campaign with a few friends, and one of my players was playing an elf rogue. While in a new city, he split off to try to find info on the local thieves' guild. I offhandedly mentioned him passing a dog. He became SO paranoid of this dog, you'd think he assumed it was the killer gazebo's unholy offspring. It culminated with him rolling a Sense Motive check, at which point I stared at him and said, "It's a DOG. Bark bark, woof woof!" The other players erupted in laughter, and our exchange was written down to be remembered years later.

Another time, I was a human monk in a friend's game, and we just entered a portal to the dimension of the Star elves. We came across a bridge with a giant snake skeleton coiled around it, and immediately started rolling initiative. We shattered the skeleton, only for the DM to look at us and declare, "Guys, it was a decoration!" We looked at each other like idiots for a moment before I raised my hand a little and asked, "Experience?" The DM had to call a break to recompose himself.

[TheIronGolem]

3.0 game, in fact it was our first game in the system because this was right after 3rd Ed was published.

The bad guys of the adventure are some cultists who are making trouble in the village. They all have their mouths ritualistically sewn shut, as an apparent sign of their devotion to Vecna (the god of secrets).

We track them back to some secret temple in the nearby hills. Above the entrance to the temple, carved into the stone archway, is some message in a script none of us understand (this will be important later). We enter the temple, have a few encounters with patrols and traps, and eventually get to the "boss room".

We enter the room from a door to the south. At the north end of the room, we see the high priest. In front of him, a bunch of cultists, arranged in rows. Time for the big fight, right?

Well...sort of.

The high priest doesn't see us, because his head is bowed in prayer, and the hood of his cloak is down over his face. The other cultists don't see us, because they're facing away from us (towards the priest), are kneeling down to pray, and also have hoods over their heads.

As our footsteps on the stone floor make no noise, we realize the room is magically silenced. They can't see or hear us. Right about now it starts dawning on the DM that he perhaps did not think this encounter through.

As it happens, the number of cultists in each row is the same as the number of people in the party. So we come up behind the first row, each of us behind one cultist. We share one last "is this really happening?" look, shrug, and proceed to execute our cultists.

Due to a misunderstanding in the rules, we mistakenly think the cultists count as helpless, so we resolve the attacks as coup de graces. This being a 1st-level game, none of them survive the HP damage to even get a Fort save.

And so on up we go towards the priest. Step forward, line up, coup de grace. Step forward, line up, coup de grace. We butcher all the cultists, methodically, right in front of the boss. All in absolute silence.

At this point, the DM takes pity on the high priest and lets him notice us. A "real" fight ensues. The DM had intended the high priest to be a serious threat, using Silent Spell to buff and heal the cultists as they fought us (and our own casters unable to use any magic). But without the backup he was intended to have, he goes down like a chump.

After the game, we decide retroactively that the carving above the archway says "The Temple of Free XP".