lost DM'ing spark - what can I do?

[lhilas]

The title says it all. I've been DM'ing for 8 years now and I always loved it, I play with my friends although the group has changed alot in the past 8 years.
We had problems in the past but lately I have not been enjoying the game what so ever. I do not enjoy making quests, I do not enjoy running the battles and I especially not enjoy hearing the players say that "the session sucked" because I was distracted and wasn't giving it my best.

My group likes power gaming, they all build smart powerful characters and I am having problem challangeing them. Either the fight is too hard or too easy, depending if they're immune to whatever's fighthing them doing or not. The each deal around the 200-150~ dmg per round, and have less than 150 HP, meaning that everything gets annhilated in 1 turn including them if something hits it. Every fight ends in 1-2 turns and if not they're dead, when I do find some way to cripple their immunities and defenses they call me a cheat. Last session they (in 1 surprise round ) assassinated a king of a large kingdom in his daughter's wedding and then teleported away immediatly with the body (1 character held a scroll and teleported them during the surprise round) , when I made the order of paladins led by the King's son track them via magic and fight them they started argueing with me that it's impossible since they were all wearing disguises and that there is no way in the world someone could identify who the killer was.

I gave this example just to clarify one of the things that annoy me although it is not the only one, so I don't want this thread to be about wether or not i'm right. I don't enjoy DM'ing anymore but I still LOVE DnD and would like to play a little bit as a PC, problem is that only 1 other player at the table is willing to DM but the rest of the party is against it claiming he don't know how since he relatively new to the game :( .

I don't want to destroy the group and end everyone's fun but I also don't like to keep wasting hours of my time on an activity I do not enjoy right now, what do you guys suggest I should do?

[Kanthalion]

Maybe it's time to start a new campaign at low level? Or go ahead and give that other guy a chance to DM. If he has a good sense for story, he doesn't need to know all the rules. And you can always help him out if he gets stuck. Although from what you describe your players acting like, I'd be a bit worried they'd run roughshod over him.

[Florian]

Rotate GMs for a while. Let them deal with their preferred style while having the chance to play at the same level for a bit.

[Vizzerdrix]

Play at their level. Remind them that xp is a reward for challanges, not walks in the park, then make a gentlemans agreement to tone things back on both sides of the table.eIf they complain then cut back on the sessions and train the other dude to run games.

And as always try talking to them etc.

[Kanthalion]

How about taking a break to try a different system?

[lhilas]

They hate playing at low levels, and I did tried talking to them. I told them I do not enjoy DM'ing and they told me to try and resparkle my desire for DM'ing... I wish it was THAT simple...

The other guys who wouldn't mind DM'ing is actually a girl and last time she DM'ed the players made fun of her NPC's and treated all rudely out of disrespect so i'm not sure if that can hold as well.
The funny thing is that there is someone in the party who is a pretty good DM but he just don't want all the paper work and prefers to play, I asked him to help me out and he said he won't enjoy it just as I am not enjoying it now.

[Kanthalion]

It sounds kinda like your friends are *******s.

[Florian]

They hate playing at low levels, and I did tried talking to them. I told them I do not enjoy DM'ing and they told me to try and resparkle my desire for DM'ing... I wish it was THAT simple...

The other guys who wouldn't mind DM'ing is actually a girl and last time she DM'ed the players made fun of her NPC's and treated all rudely out of disrespect so i'm not sure if that can hold as well.
The funny thing is that there is someone in the party who is a pretty good DM but he just don't want all the paper work and prefers to play, I asked him to help me out and he said he won't enjoy it just as I am not enjoying it now.

Well, that´s the curse of power gaming and going near TO levels. It´s exhausting and robs the fun for the one doing the GM´ing, especially if some semblance of balance should be reached.

Mobbing the girl, tho, is simply rude manners, or rather a d**k move and should be called out for what it is.

[Vizzerdrix]

Mobbing the girl, tho, is simply rude manners, or rather a d**k move and should be called out for what it is.

Doing that to anyone, girl or not, is a jerk move. Being a DM is hard enough without getting heckled.

[Kanthalion]

Okay. So I was a little flippant above there. But it sounds like you've already tried a lot of the things we're suggesting. And these players have just been throwing it back in your face saying"dance, monkey, dance!" And on top of that abusing someone who had a passion for the game and might have or could still turn out to be a great DM.

They need to realize that DM is a role: you are as much a player as they are. And if you are not having fun then everybody isn't having fun. Frankly, at this point I'd say bring out The Tarrasque, drop the mic, and tell them you're done (heck, you might find your spark in planning their demise)

If someone wants to step up and DM for the same group, wonderful! You can be a player. If someone else doesn't, it sounds kind of like the group's already dead. And I'm sure you can find another.

[lhilas]

I did presented them in a pretty negative light, I need to mention that the girl DM does have some issues as well, railroading, too easy encounters, stuff like that, but she means well. And the party were just goofing around since last time she DM'ed it was a 1 time thing since I was sick.
About finding another group it's a bit problematic. Those guys are my best friends outside of DnD - for the last 5-8 years... I go to the same high school as them and meet them for other activities. Ditching them isn't that easy...

[Vizzerdrix]

So just take a break. If everyone realy wants to do some tabletop, play something light and silly. Try bunnies and barrows, or kobolds are my baby.

[Sian]

Ditching them aren't needed, but tell them that in terms of d&d you need some fresh air, and wish to retire (at least for a while) from DM duty in their group and look for inspiration in other groups. Stuff like that is much more a question of how you say it, rather than what you say.

[Kanthalion]

So just take a break. If everyone realy wants to do some tabletop, play something light and silly. Try bunnies and barrows, or kobolds are my baby.

Another vote for trying a different system. Regarding the girl, those are common issues of a new DM. Maybe tag team with her to help her get experience.

If these guys are your best friends outside the game, perhaps you need to talk to them outside the game, as their friend and explain how unhappy you have become as their friend, not as their DM.

Seriously. If they are your friends, talk to them. Hell, show them this thread--even my vitriol above--if that is what it would take to get them to understand your frustration. Obviously that isn't a solution, but perhaps it will get you on the same page to work one out.

[Crake]

Friends or not I wouldn't take that level of vitriol from anyone as a DM. DMing is hard work and if people are gonna treat that work like garbage, then they can just not partake. The last person to treat me anything like your players did was my sister and I stopped DMing for her and found a new group to continue that game. That doesn't mean I suddenly stopped talking to her, but I'm not going to DM for her in the future (except for maybe short 1 shots that my whole family participates in).

If you want to get some "fresh air" so to speak, maybe just organize a short game in roll20 to just try something new. I did that when I was feeling a little underappreciated by my gaming group, and what started off as something just to pass the time has evolved into almost a year long game with the players getting quite significantly involved in shaping the course of history in my homebrew world.

[Honest Tiefling]

It sounds kinda like your friends are *******s.

I'm going to second this. You should tell them they are the reason WHY you lost the spark, and if they want it rekindled they need to understand that you enjoy a certain style of gaming and some compromises need to be made on both sides to find that happy medium. But that they need to compromise as well! They are responsible for the problem they want YOU to fix!

And then someone steps in to DM to help you regain your spark by giving you a breather and they make fun of her for it? She eas trying to fix the issue they are complaining about! Maybe the answer is that you don't enjoy how they play the game. I'd snag another player (from your Friendly Local Game Store, if need be) and have a two player campaign with the lady to help her understand how to DM. Is she open to the idea of learning how to?

Maybe your friends need to return to being your outside of DnD friends...

[Toilet Cobra]

Those guys are my best friends outside of DnD - for the last 5-8 years.

Then they should understand that you're not enjoying yourself and not make a big deal about ending the campaign.

Seriously, burn whatever DMfuel you have left and try to make the ending of the campaign epic enough for their characters, and then walk away. Go to your other potential DM friend and say that if she wants to try running another game with more respectful players, you'll be one and you'll help her recruit more. And then just hang out with your former gaming group at whatever other thing you do together.

I was in your situation recently-- granted my group sounds like its a fair bit older than yours, so that might've made it easier-- but we just agreed that we'd see the campaign through to the end of the next part of the story and made the best of it. Did a little epilogue to put the characters to rest, and voila.

[Honest Tiefling]

These are people who have known you for 5-8 years and don't care about your enjoyment. This is a bad sign!

[LTwerewolf]

Yeah this is a definite end the campaign scenario. They're disrespectful to you and the other potential dm. You don't owe them your time. They are not entitled to have someone run exactly the game they want when they want it regardless of the dm's enjoyment. That's not how it works.

[theboss]

These are people who have known you for 5-8 years and don't care about your enjoyment. This is a bad sign!

A bad sign of what? Us being untrue friends?
Let me explain something to you, maybe he's not telling you everything but we are all trying to make him come back DM'ing.
1). Since he said that to us we came up an indea in which 3 of us(the potential nominees) will DM in the next session, and when the session ends the players will decide which DM he wants to choose.
2). I personally told him that he should not get into things he doesnt like in his game-style. I'll explain, in the last session as he was saying we have a slain a king of a huge powerful kingdom and he had an argument with one of us about them not knowing a single thing about us (not throught magic, not throught track, not anything) and Lhilas said there is. So easy way to avoid this is simply say there is something they(we) dont know about and The King's Guard does.
Let's make it short here, you dont have the right to say that because you dont know the whole story, dont say things you think they're true simply by geussing it, it indicates lack of understanding.

[Honest Tiefling]

I'm sorry, I don't really get where you're going with that. I don't think I understand what you are saying well enough to comment. Can you elaborate?

[Chronikoce]

It sounds like you might just need a break. I had some pretty serious DM burn out a while back and quit playing as a DM or player for a full year. When I came back to d&d I really enjoyed being a DM again and have been having a lot of fun.

As for player behavior, if you don't feel like your efforts are being respected then talk to them out of game about it. D&d is a game where players and DM alike are supposed to be having fun after all.

As a quick aside for the encounter with the king you mentioned. The party took the kings body right? So unless they warded immediately against divination then his royal guard could have easily found out where they went and who they were.

[Phenrix]

First, the players have no power to decide weather or not they can be tracked anywhere. Gods are gods, and there are plenty of much more powerful beings in the world more than capable of traking them no matter what.

Second, the alternate DM. If she is interested, then sit down and help her learn the rules and mechanics. You play and actual character, and solo a mini game. Run her through a preset campaign setting and let her get a feel for how things are scaled and introduced. This will give her a more stable baseline for future games.

Third, If the group wants a high powered game, fine. Play high powered, make the king immune to assassination in all its forms, make the castle have a permanent lvl 200 anti magic zone cast on it. It dosent matter, your the DM. You get final say on how things progressed.

Lastly, The best way to balance out an encounter in game isnt immunities, its DR SR and ER. If they do ~200 damage on average. Give the enemies DR 100, If the mage pumps out 500-700 damage, give the enemies ER or SR 400. If they have something that overcomes DR SR ER, then make the resistance a supernatural ability and therefor not subject to reduction.

As for the spark, i feel you. Ive been there myself, and its not fun. I suggest making your focus finding new ways to improve the game, make your own enemies with new powers that arent in the books. Create new dungeons with special rules in place that cannot be surmounted in any way.

I really hope this helps, i always hate seeing an DM walk away from the table.

[Kish]

I have to wonder if "the players" really means "all the players" or if it means one player in particular.

It doesn't seem like the game you're running is fun for you, or for at least one of the other players, or like theboss is amenable to your solutions. If it's not a matter of one toxic player who you're willing and able to kick out, you should probably stop trying to run it entirely. Maybe revisit the idea of running a game sometime later. But you have no obligation to run a game that isn't fun for you.

[Azoth]

Dude, I feel you. Best thing you can do is take some time away from the game. Use the time you normally devote to session prep/world building and use it on some other outlets. Catch up on reading, enjoy some video games, watch that back log of movies you have been meaning to.

It will help get creative juices flowing and mentally reinvigorate you.

I will give a bit of a cautionary tale with the new DM. This one is currently causing me burn out. My group has two relatively new DMs with low system mastery learning the ropes. A fair number of players in our group are wannabe power gamers. This leads to them trying to steam roll NPCs for kicks or to get things that they shouldn't. I have found that both of my characters in their games have mechanically shifted focus to be able to reign in or shut down my party members, just so the game can progress somewhat reasonably.

This includes: Planar Binding a party member in one of my private demiplanes, Feebleminding a party member to make them stop trying to dominate a kingdom, using a Quickened Wall of Force to stop a fight with the party BSF, and many other things just to stop massive derailings or quest enders.

[Theobod]

It sounds kinda like your friends are *******s.

Partially this, but I hear you, argumentative players who assume they are right and thus have the right to inquisit over details as to the whys behind events can kill a game, put a stop to it. Something as simple as 'Indeed your assertions may be true under many circumstances, as you can however see, this is currently happening so you must be incorrect or your logic is faulty' or similar whenever something like that comes up, then immediately move on.

Also seconding the 'DMs are players too' gravytrain, if you don't have fun, don't play, let someone else do so, point them towards E6, suggest they limit to a tier for character choices and make sure she vets each and every build choice and feels free to say 'this is not suitable for my current game' without explanation. Make sure the rest of the group know that as the DM is new, whatever she says goes, period, bring up mechanic discussions AFTER the game.

[Ger. Bessa]

I'd agree with what TheBoss said earlier. When they try to tell you "You can't do that because reasons", they're (in this case) in the wrong on every level.

1) So they killed the king and escaped in one round, and aren't pursued. Cool story, nice session. See you next week guys.

2) Locate object on the king's body/clothes/fake teeth/crown/prepared inconspicuous item put there by the king's security staff.

3) Characters of level high enough can be identified by knowledge checks or bardic lore checks. If they want the disguise skill to trump divination magic, then let's enjoy challenging a "powerfull kingdom"'s army of experts.

4) Rule zero, motivated by 1).

+1 to Vizzerdrix too. Did they even spend a fourth of their spell slots ? A tenth ? If not, exp for CR at party level -2. Now if they want that xp, they might want to face those paladins.

The game can be played for epic adventures, but if it's just about saying bigger numbers than the DM and feeling happy about it, might as well change system (wish fulfilment is OK. Wish fulfilment with nothing else is wanking).

[Yahzi]

My group likes power gaming
This is why you are burned out. For role-playing to work, you need characters you can relate to. And that means a world which you can believe in. And that means a world in which there are consequences and limits.

Power-gamers exist to avoid consequences and break limits. Playing D&D as a chess game, where the characters are merely pieces with piles of stats and numbers, becomes boring very quickly. You're better off buying some war games and playing those with your friends.

[DarkSoul]

I'd agree with what TheBoss said earlier. When they try to tell you "You can't do that because reasons", they're (in this case) in the wrong on every level.

1) So they killed the king and escaped in one round, and aren't pursued. Cool story, nice session. See you next week guys.

2) Locate object on the king's body/clothes/fake teeth/crown/prepared inconspicuous item put there by the king's security staff.

3) Characters of level high enough can be identified by knowledge checks or bardic lore checks. If they want the disguise skill to trump divination magic, then let's enjoy challenging a "powerfull kingdom"'s army of experts.

4) Rule zero, motivated by 1).

+1 to Vizzerdrix too. Did they even spend a fourth of their spell slots ? A tenth ? If not, exp for CR at party level -2. Now if they want that xp, they might want to face those paladins.

The game can be played for epic adventures, but if it's just about saying bigger numbers than the DM and feeling happy about it, might as well change system (wish fulfilment is OK. Wish fulfilment with nothing else is wanking).What's funny is that theboss is part of the problem, if the previous threads started by this group are any indication.

To the OP: It's likely time for a break, from this group if nothing else. There's no reason to believe that they're going to act any differently with another DM, even if you're playing. In fact, you have every reason to believe they'll be the same way or worse, because you've seen the way they act with a different DM. I was in a similar situation in World of Warcraft, where the people I was playing with made the game less fun for me, and I tried for too long to just have fun anyway. Now, I don't know if I'll ever play that game regularly again.

As far as the game goes, them crying foul when they got tracked down is just childish and is a pretty clear indication that the group just wants to steamroll everything without anything posing a real threat. If that's not your style, it's time to go. Them giving the other DM (the crusader, I assume?) a hard time when she gave it a shot reinforces my impression.

As far as getting the desire to play back, try looking for a different group to play with. If that's not realistic where you live, look online. I run a game on Roll20.net because I don't live around other gamers that I know of, and I'm having a great time doing it. Another thing you can do is look around the web for gaming websites and see what other people have to say about it. Reddit has sections dedicated to pretty much every edition of D&D. A couple of sites I like are roleplayingtips.com and theangrygm.com. Maybe something on another site will help if nothing here does. One thing you might want to do, though, is make sure your current players don't know your new usernames. They've made it hard to get anything accomplished in previous threads; there's no reason to believe they'll stop any time soon.

[theboss]

What's funny is that theboss is part of the problem, if the previous threads started by this group are any indication.

What problem? That he lost his DM'ing spark? if it is, then you're terribly wrong.
I don't know any specific reasons that i was the cause for his lack of fun, and if there was i told him many times to tell me that and i'll try my best to avoid those situations. Don't blame me, Im not even relevant to this thread, but if anyone will mention me - I'll be here.
FOCUS on helping him and don't point a blaming finger at me or anyone else from our group.

[DarkSoul]

What problem? That he lost his DM'ing spark? if it is, then you're terribly wrong.
I don't know any specific reasons that i was the cause for his lack of fun, and if there was i told him many times to tell me that and i'll try my best to avoid those situations. Don't blame me, Im not even relevant to this thread, but if anyone will mention me - I'll be here.
FOCUS on helping him and don't point a blaming finger at me or anyone else from our group.Yes, that problem. Whether I'm wrong remains to be seen, but judging by what I've already seen from you, him, and the girl playing the crusader in the past, I'm less wrong than you want to believe. It doesn't have to be specific reasons; if your play styles don't mesh on a general level, there doesn't have to be something specific.

We are focusing on helping him, and identifying problems is part of that process. If you're part of the problem, the blaming fingers will be pointed at you, and there is nothing you can do about it. If that bothers you, perhaps stepping out of a thread that's not focused on you is your best course of action.

[daremetoidareyo]

Quit. If you're not having fun, that means that you need to change something.

Judging by having one of your players drop in on this thread and be all defensive about how it's your problem that you alone must fix, and that you mischaracterized the entire situation, I'm left with the impression that the quickest fix is simply refusing to DM. That player behavior like having an abusive partner crash your therapy session to blame you for relationship dysfunction. That's a line that was crossed. The act of addressing the problem to best serve your needs did not require player input...but they sure as hell felt entitled to voice that input.

You don't enjoy playing as much as you used to, whereas the PCs don't have to do any prep work that they don't directly benefit from. Your characterisation of the issue, underscored by the behavior we all just witnessed in the thread, leads me to believe that your players cannot suppress their selfishness enough to make the game inclusive of the DM.

The only reward that DMs receive is the pleasure of playing the game. If the players cannot facilitate your happiness in this endeavor, they don't deserve your time. Even if they beg you to return; what they want is to play out THEIR game and it is easier to beg a person, incessantly, than it is to actually create a campaign as a DM. So you have to refuse if you want a break or to stop entirely.

The best way to get that DM groove back is to be a player for a while in campaigns run by others. That's just a reality of the game. You did good, champ. Take your rest.

[theboss]

We had problems in the past but lately I have not been enjoying the game what so ever. I do not enjoy making quests, I do not enjoy running the battles and I especially not enjoy hearing the players say that "the session sucked" because I was distracted and wasn't giving it my best.

My group likes power gaming, they all build smart powerful characters and I am having problem challangeing them. Either the fight is too hard or too easy, depending if they're immune to whatever's fighthing them doing or not. The each deal around the 200-150~ dmg per round, and have less than 150 HP, meaning that everything gets annhilated in 1 turn including them if something hits it. Every fight ends in 1-2 turns and if not they're dead, when I do find some way to cripple their immunities and defenses they call me a cheat. Last session they (in 1 surprise round ) assassinated a king of a large kingdom in his daughter's wedding and then teleported away immediatly with the body (1 character held a scroll and teleported them during the surprise round) , when I made the order of paladins led by the King's son track them via magic and fight them they started argueing with me that it's impossible since they were all wearing disguises and that there is no way in the world someone could identify who the killer was.



The problem as you can see is that he's having a problem challanging us. And when he does, SOME of the players call this a cheat.


Yes, that problem. Whether I'm wrong remains to be seen, but judging by what I've already seen from you, him, and the girl playing the crusader in the past, I'm less wrong than you want to believe. It doesn't have to be specific reasons; if your play styles don't mesh on a general level, there doesn't have to be something specific.

What you have seen is an argument, nothing is personal here (at least from my view). If it wasn't specific (from my side) And an example of it is my "play-style", we should have the same problem years ago, since I have been playing as long as Lhilas have.




We are focusing on helping him, and identifying problems is part of that process.
See above. Now that you know - go for it...



If you're part of the problem, the blaming fingers will be pointed at you, and there is nothing you can do about it. If that bothers you, perhaps stepping out of a thread that's not focused on you is your best course of action.
Untill then, don't blame unless you have any kind of evidence.

[DarkSoul]

Untill then, don't blame unless you have any kind of evidence.Your posting history over the past few months is plenty of evidence.

[Honest Tiefling]

I was going to point out that theboss is not addressing the problems the OP has, and is instead placing the blame solely on him...But Ihilias hasn't confirmed that the Theboss is one of the players. I would find it suspect that someone who was supposedly friends with the guy for 5+ years would come here to say that the group is completely and utterly in the right instead of listening to the guy's issues and trying to work them out with him in real life.

[theboss]

I was going to point out that theboss is not addressing the problems the OP has, and is instead placing the blame solely on him...But Ihilias hasn't confirmed that the Theboss is one of the players. I would find it suspect that someone who was supposedly friends with the guy for 5+ years would come here to say that the group is completely and utterly in the right instead of listening to the guy's issues and trying to work them out with him in real life.

I'm trying to help him. For example, I DM'ed in the last session, Lhilas was one of the PC and he said to me that he had a great time - I can tell him to support me here if you for any reason don't trust me.
In the next session, our former Crausder is going to DM (She's now playing Warforged Juggernaut) and in the following session our Rogue/Swasbuckler/Invisable Blade suppose to DM. See now? we do alot for him...

[Dr_S]

Hey OP,

Going to take a slightly different tone from everyone else here.

I think you may benefit from learning to say "no" a little more often. (or more accurately by learning to voice your needs more directly) I think we all from time to time have issues with it, especially when we were in high school, but practicing it will make you a better DM, and overall improve the situation I think.

You describe a situation in which you are doing things you don't want to do because the group is dictating things to you.

I.e. your players say they don't like playing at low-levels... well they don't like playing at high levels right now (because you don't enjoy it and it's affecting your DMing) so "tough ****, roll up some level 2's." (You can use more diplomatic language than, "tough ****" I was trying to drive the point home)

Keep in mind that the things we want from a group as players are often counter to what we'd have fun with. I want to have a super awesome powerful character, but that **** would be boooooring. The fun of DnD comes from overcoming challenges, if I did my job right as a player and am sufficiently high level enough to no longer be challenged in the setting as presented, then it's time to start winding down the game.

Interactions have 3 components, What do we want/need? (objective) How will it effect how we're viewed? (relationship) and how will it effect how we view ourselves? (self-respect) You seem to be someone who prioritizes the relationship aspect first, which isn't inherently bad, but the goal is to balance those three things to the best of your ability.

To take the example of the girl who wants to DM, You want them to not be disrespectful to her while she's learning to DM (objective) You don't want them to feel like you're accusing them if they didn't mean it in a disrespectful way (relationship) but if you don't say anything it will affect how you view yourself. (Self-respect)

Is there a solution that'll cover all 3? Probably not. Just how the world works, but just make sure you're not always picking the same one over and over. (or never picking one of them) It's not an easy thing to do though, hence why I suggested practice.

Also, every good DM ever, used to be a really ****ty DM. If your group has someone who wants to learn, encourage that and give some feedback to help her learn. Gives you a break, gives you guys a good DM down the road once she's got some practice, and gives her a chance to try something she wants to learn. Literally the only downside is a few painfully awkward sessions while she tries to figure out what the hell she's doing.

[Hogsy]

Hey OP,

Going to take a slightly different tone from everyone else here.

I think you may benefit from learning to say "no" a little more often. (or more accurately by learning to voice your needs more directly) I think we all from time to time have issues with it, especially when we were in high school, but practicing it will make you a better DM, and overall improve the situation I think.

You describe a situation in which you are doing things you don't want to do because the group is dictating things to you.

I.e. your players say they don't like playing at low-levels... well they don't like playing at high levels right now (because you don't enjoy it and it's affecting your DMing) so "tough ****, roll up some level 2's." (You can use more diplomatic language than, "tough ****" I was trying to drive the point home)

Keep in mind that the things we want from a group as players are often counter to what we'd have fun with. I want to have a super awesome powerful character, but that **** would be boooooring. The fun of DnD comes from overcoming challenges, if I did my job right as a player and am sufficiently high level enough to no longer be challenged in the setting as presented, then it's time to start winding down the game.

Interactions have 3 components, What do we want/need? (objective) How will it effect how we're viewed? (relationship) and how will it effect how we view ourselves? (self-respect) You seem to be someone who prioritizes the relationship aspect first, which isn't inherently bad, but the goal is to balance those three things to the best of your ability.

To take the example of the girl who wants to DM, You want them to not be disrespectful to her while she's learning to DM (objective) You don't want them to feel like you're accusing them if they didn't mean it in a disrespectful way (relationship) but if you don't say anything it will affect how you view yourself. (Self-respect)

Is there a solution that'll cover all 3? Probably not. Just how the world works, but just make sure you're not always picking the same one over and over. (or never picking one of them) It's not an easy thing to do though, hence why I suggested practice.

Also, every good DM ever, used to be a really ****ty DM. If your group has someone who wants to learn, encourage that and give some feedback to help her learn. Gives you a break, gives you guys a good DM down the road once she's got some practice, and gives her a chance to try something she wants to learn. Literally the only downside is a few painfully awkward sessions while she tries to figure out what the hell she's doing.



I'm seconding this. D&D is not a game where a DM preps for 8 hours only to have the entire session crushed to bits and pieces. If you don't like something you just say "Sorry guys, that's not happening this time."


Besides that, it seems like your party is starting to try fixing the problem right now, seeing from theboss's posts. But you need to realise as a party that powergaming fun will not last. If you want to deal 250 points of damage per turn, that means that your enemies will have increased HP so the game will remain a challenge. The whole point of optimizing isn't so you steamroll through every encounter, it's so you can prepare better for it. And making fun of a new DM who's trying to fix the situation YOU'RE complaing about? I don't even understand that point of view. If the DM is having a problem challening you and that results in nobody having fun then that doesn't mean the DM has to "gitgud", it also means that YOU need to tone it down a bit. D&D is a group activity, not a contest to measure each other's ****s. I'd love to play as a PC in a session where you or one of the other powergamers DM and see how you like it when your entire session you've been working for a week on crushes to pieces because I wanted to "kill things". Powergaming and being a murderhobo is fun when you're 14 and even then it's fun for like what? 3 sessions? maybe 4? If one person is not having fun, then nobody is having fun. I get you're trying to change and fix the situation, but you need to realise that this guy felt the need to go to an online forum and seek help for how to deal with his friends of 8 years. Let that sink in for a second. I suggest you have a little group chat outside of D&D because I can't believe that this is a D&D-only problem. If you already have, then kudos to you. Remember, OP, learn how to say "No.", and honestly, if the people who've been my friends for 8 years acted like complete ********s like that even once I'd ditch them on the spot.

I'm also running a campaign for some friends right now, and I also have to study for exams. If they did anything remotely close to what your friends did to you, they wouldn't hear from me ever again. You sit for hours and hours to make something that everyone will enjoy only for nobody other than your FRIENDS to **** on it? I hope this situation is resolved in a peaceful manner where you keep being friends and that you ALL get something out of it, because it sounds like some people in your party are acting in a VERY immature way.


PS: I'm disgusted by their behaviour towards the newbie DM. You just don't do that to a person who's trying their best to DM for YOUR enjoyment while you sit there and be like "Uhhh, I don't want to DM, you do it!" and then just proceed to humiliate that person. It's sad.

[killem2]

I've been DMing now since 2011. I've understood the concept of it since the mid 90s.


The title says it all. I've been DM'ing for 8 years now and I always loved it, I play with my friends although the group has changed alot in the past 8 years.
We had problems in the past but lately I have not been enjoying the game what so ever. I do not enjoy making quests, I do not enjoy running the battles and I especially not enjoy hearing the players say that "the session sucked" because I was distracted and wasn't giving it my best.


1. I would like to know what the "problems in the past" were.

2. If you do not enjoy making quests you should be running a premade AP, there is nothing wrong with them.

3. When you say running the battles are you talking about just straight running them as in moving figure a to square z and casting said spell? There is a lot that goes into <running a battle> as you know.

4. I've had players tell me a session sucked. You know what I asked them back:

Why?


5. Define - distracted please.



My group likes power gaming, they all build smart powerful characters and I am having problem challangeing them.


This is partially on you. You are the arbiter of what is allowed in games. If you are playing dungeons and dragons, I would strongly suggest to limit the books or switch to pathfinder.



Either the fight is too hard or too easy, depending if they're immune to whatever's fighthing them doing or not.


Unless they are past level 10, and playing with what is considered around these parts Tier 0/1 classes, following guides to a T, they should not be immune to anything and if they are, refer to the quote before this one please. :smallsmile:




The each deal around the 200-150~ dmg per round, and have less than 150 HP, meaning that everything gets annhilated in 1 turn including them if something hits it.


I would hope they have less than 150 HP. I would be curious to know exactly what level they all are at this point. I'm curious to know if you are confused as to what to expect from your player's characters.



Every fight ends in 1-2 turns and if not they're dead, when I do find some way to cripple their immunities and defenses they call me a cheat.


While it is never cool for players to disrespect a dungeon or game master in such a fashion, it also is never cool for the DM to hand waive a solution to your players mid swing. (Not saying you did of course)

This is much for of a problem with your player base than it is you falling out of love with being a DM. You might be falling out of love of being a DM of high power campaigns.




Last session they (in 1 surprise round ) assassinated a king of a large kingdom in his daughter's wedding and then teleported away immediately with the body (1 character held a scroll and teleported them during the surprise round) , when I made the order of paladins led by the King's son track them via magic and fight them they started arguing with me that it's impossible since they were all wearing disguises and that there is no way in the world someone could identify who the killer was.


Hate to break it to the party, everyone around them in reach would have been allowed an attack of opportunity for casting that spell. Also, I seriously doubt they could have done this as the daughter is neither a willing person or an object. So your players messed up and so did you for not knowing the rules.

You are going to have to be a bit more specific on "track them via magic". I am very understanding of the DM plights and pitfalls and what tools the DM has at his or her disposal of course.

However, your players in my humble opinion can STFU, because Scrying does exist. And I would have no problem believing the closest guard to a king such as that would have any problems knowing all about the daughter and know exactly who took her. They have have disgusies at the time of the crime, but I seriously doubt they kept them on after the crime, and thanks to scrying you can see everything considering even a FAILURE on a saving throw would net you a 10 foot area of view.

Also, I'm guessing you never made any rolls for the good guys here to see through their disguises, as if they interact with people saves are entitled. Another rules miss man.





I gave this example just to clarify one of the things that annoy me although it is not the only one, so I don't want this thread to be about wether or not i'm right. I don't enjoy DM'ing anymore but I still LOVE DnD and would like to play a little bit as a PC, problem is that only 1 other player at the table is willing to DM but the rest of the party is against it claiming he don't know how since he relatively new to the game :( .


Well, it's not really that you are right or wrong, in that example is very much that all involved have a misunderstanding of the rules.

You need to have a serious talk with this group however. They can either except that someone else needs to take over (play an AP if they are a newer DM) and give you a chance to play. If they refuse disband the group. I have a feeling though there is more to this story however.

/popcorn on



I don't want to destroy the group and end everyone's fun but I also don't like to keep wasting hours of my time on an activity I do not enjoy right now, what do you guys suggest I should do?

Here is my advice.

At my house, which is where we play 99.99% of the time:

https://i.imgsafe.org/2f63c21.jpg

It's my home. I host. I DM. I schedule everything. I also play with adults. I used to allow teenagers, but I don't anymore. And before I add more people to the group, I consult with the original core group, on what they think about it. We discuss things. We talk.

They have a complete understanding and respect for my time. Most importantly they respect each other.

I've had a couple of players who didn't respect these things. When I address it, by telling ALL the players, only I.. the DM have the authority to tell someone they are playing their characters wrong, and if they didn't like it, they could leave. they never came back. That happened because two players who were barley 20 years old at this point, thought they needed to tell others in my group that they were not roleplaying their alignments properly.

Now, this what not done because I'm an ******* or a rude son of a bitch. I know that for a gaming group to work ALL involved must be having fun.

You too, need to grab the reins on your group. I don't know what you are expecting in this thread, but part of me wonders if you were looking for an In game answer and there isn't one. At least not one that doesn't end, in an arms race.