Inner party conflict.

[Misterwhisper]

Ok so here is the situation.

I am playing a true neutral warlock, half elf with half drow variant from the SCAG, my patron is evil but I am not.
I have an imp familiar which stays in raven form almost all the time.
Due to not wanting to be stigmatized as a warlock, my guy simply calls himself a Mage.

Here lies the issues.
People out of character know I am a warlock, but not in character.
So far over half the group has gone out and bought Drift gglobes simply for "hey let's all gift drift globes so we can dispelled any darkness (my name, not character) puts up, mind you this is before I am even able to cast darkness and we have never even encountered a situation where devil's sight came up.

Also the druid in the group is trying her best to try to investigate why I have a raven and to try and prove I am a warlock even though I have never done a single thing to show any indication of it being anything but a raven.

The biggest issue though it the Dwarven Barbarian, who went on a 20 min real time yelling spree about how certain races "those are not people so they do not matter" Drow being one of them. I pointed out I am half drow to which he replied that that just means "you are not even good enough to be not people, you are just half of 2 races that aren't even people." All the while claiming to be CG.

I mention to the GM that he does know I was raised by the Drow parent and sold his soul for social standing and really hates to be looked down on.

I mention it to the player of the Barbarian to which he just replies "I am a barbarian and you are just a warlock. Feel free to try to do something about it when you want to make a new character"

The gm frowns on but does not outlaw PVP but is perfectly fine with me being insulted constantly.

This would not be so bad but their is also a minotaur in the group but everyone already is on the page of don't make cow jokes or he will kill you, but if I have an issue nobody cares.

I am one step from just saying screw it and dropping the group I have gamed with for 18 years.

P.S. I already brought it up to the GM that if he keeps this up my character will try to kill him.

His only response was, If I let it get that far.

Kind of vague.

[MrFahrenheit]

Sounds like a real free for all.

The drift globes issue is meta gaming at its worst! I would have a serious talk with the DM about that situation. Probably not a lot can be done now, but it's still pretty crappy.

If your character has proven himself in combat, then the rest of the party will hopefully shut up soon. If they don't, you can feel free to "prove yourself" to the barbarian when the party camps out and you're standing watch (be sure to pick up eldritch spear). DM can't care about a fair fight if he's already allowing this much meta gaming.

[JeffreyGator]

I am one step from just saying screw it and dropping the group I have gamed with for 18 years.

P.S. I already brought it up to the GM that if he keeps this up my character will try to kill him.

His only response was, If I let it get that far.

Kind of vague.

It seems to me that people that you have gamed with for 18 years should be better friends. Are some of the players newer to the group?

Is there something else IRL that is creating a problem? I would be suspicious of dropping friendships over an excess of roleplaying.

[Misterwhisper]

Well the guy playing the barbarian is an arrogant jerk IRL too, he loves trolling and piss in people off.

We have all gamed with each other for over a decade except the Druid, but I do not really have an issue with her, a slight bit of meta by the druid about a shape shifted bird familiar is no big deal.

It has been like this for years really.

A campaign or so back, I was playing a Warrior of the Holy Light paladin, and well.

1. I literally find an old sword and shield in a hidden cave, that only opened because of a certain star alignment and felt them call to me.

The groups response, "so what, you found an old rusted sword and shield." Entire plot line ignored because it did not evolve the ones with huge egos.

2. The whole game the Zen Archer monk of the group blackmailed me because, "I am a broken monk, you are a crappy tank pally, I could just kill you and there is nothing you can do about it." (Same player as OP barbarian).

3. Lastly, the group was sent to get an artifact by the church. We get it finally after about 3 months work and when we meet the high priest the group's Monk and magus literally tell him."No I think we are going to keep it, you are a jerk and this is too useful".

The priest just says fine and walks off. I go after him as the Paladin of the group to talk it over. I am thrown in jail immediately, no trial, no rolls, no talking, nothing. I am imprisoned as representative of the group.

The groups response, "Oh, well we really do not have a reason to go back to town. Make a new character."

Meanwhile our entire guild, that I am the leader of is literally stationed in a castle 2 days away.

Getting screwed over is nothing new.

It is almost like pissing me off is a fun hobby for them.

[MrFahrenheit]

Do they treat everyone else like crap and meta game like crazy, or just you? You might want to find a new group if the former; DEFINITELY if the latter.

The best way to stop a bully in game is to kill his character. The next time he says something smarmy to you, take him up on his battle offer. Either wait till the camping scenario I laid out earlier, or even better, after a grueling session involving lots of combat where he's burned all his rages. Cast from maximum distance. Combat doesn't have to be on his terms, after all...

[Gtdead]

Wait till lvl 7, suicide your character and create a sorlock with spellsniper, fly and eldrich spear.
Become arrogant yourself and tell them that "if they have a problem, they should do something about it in game".

Let's see how the jerk will respond with his little barbarian against a flying dpr machine that can kill him from a mile away.

[Misterwhisper]

Do they treat everyone else like crap and meta game like crazy, or just you? You might want to find a new group if the former; DEFINITELY if the latter.

The best way to stop a bully in game is to kill his character. The next time he says something smarmy to you, take him up on his battle offer. Either wait till the camping scenario I laid out earlier, or even better, after a grueling session involving lots of combat where he's burned all his rages. Cast from maximum distance. Combat doesn't have to be on his terms, after all...

I could probably take him if I start the fight, we are level 5, and his damage is good enough to kill me on minimum damage in one round thanks to the great brokenness that is GWM. I would have to play keep away the whole fight and pray Repelling Blast can keep him away.

As far as combat goes, our gm is lazy and does not really like running combat much so we only have like one encounter every 3 games or so.

Ex. Last session we traveled from one town to another almost across the contanent. We found a cursed mountain in the middle of the plains with very out of place fog at the top and argued for 30 mins how to get up the mountain climbing, going through the cave, or like I said, just use the broom of flying the Rogue had.

Everyone ignored my broom of flying plan and decided to go through the cave because their might be something to fight in there. We traveled and went through a glowing archway that made the fog lift and found... nothing.

Literally nothing. Rolled some investigate, knowledge and such... nothing.

We just said ok and went back to traveling.

Next we came across a creepy abandoned castle, abandoned to the point there were no animals or plants in it for over 200 years, we investigated and searched for what caused it and found... nothing.

We get to the next town, get paid, pick up new mission for the guild and that is it.

To put it in perspective, last campaign we played from level 1 to level 13. We had a total of 12 encounters, 7 of them being between level 1 and 3.

[GWJ_DanyBoy]

Just...wow. How has this group not fallen apart yet? Why do people keep showing up?

If I had even just a single session that went like that I'd consider it a disaster (And yes, I've had a few sessions I consider disasters. I tell myself to learn from the awful, painful failure).
But whole campaigns? Is your group actually a secret S&M club?

[Biggstick]

Ok so here is the situation.

I am playing a true neutral warlock, half elf with half drow variant from the SCAG, my patron is evil but I am not.
I have an imp familiar which stays in raven form almost all the time.
Due to not wanting to be stigmatized as a warlock, my guy simply calls himself a Mage.

Here lies the issues.
People out of character know I am a warlock, but not in character.
So far over half the group has gone out and bought Drift gglobes simply for "hey let's all gift drift globes so we can dispelled any darkness (my name, not character) puts up, mind you this is before I am even able to cast darkness and we have never even encountered a situation where devil's sight came up.

Also the druid in the group is trying her best to try to investigate why I have a raven and to try and prove I am a warlock even though I have never done a single thing to show any indication of it being anything but a raven.

The biggest issue though it the Dwarven Barbarian, who went on a 20 min real time yelling spree about how certain races "those are not people so they do not matter" Drow being one of them. I pointed out I am half drow to which he replied that that just means "you are not even good enough to be not people, you are just half of 2 races that aren't even people." All the while claiming to be CG.

I mention to the GM that he does know I was raised by the Drow parent and sold his soul for social standing and really hates to be looked down on.

I mention it to the player of the Barbarian to which he just replies "I am a barbarian and you are just a warlock. Feel free to try to do something about it when you want to make a new character"

The gm frowns on but does not outlaw PVP but is perfectly fine with me being insulted constantly.

This would not be so bad but their is also a minotaur in the group but everyone already is on the page of don't make cow jokes or he will kill you, but if I have an issue nobody cares.

I am one step from just saying screw it and dropping the group I have gamed with for 18 years.

P.S. I already brought it up to the GM that if he keeps this up my character will try to kill him.

His only response was, If I let it get that far.

Kind of vague.

It sounds like you've gone through the proper venues in dealing with the situation by first bringing it up to the players and the GM. Since neither of those options seem to have worked you have a few options.

1. Suck it up buttercup (continue playing and adjust your course of play). Three of the players are having fun as well as the DM. Have the party eventually find out in character that you're a Warlock and that you're working to redeem yourself for making a pact with said patron (this can be true or not true, your choice. You don't even need to tell the DM that it's not true ;]). You can mention something about the (insert something the party values or cares about) that your patron has possession or is destroying, and SHAZAM, you're in. If you make it to a situation where you're confronting your patron, make sure you've worked out with the DM that everything you're saying to the party is a show and that you don't really mean to destroy him at all, that way he doesn't just lay the smack down on you.

2. Have your PC wander off from the party (bring in a new character peacefully). The party seems to have an issue with abusing meta knowledge, and they also seem to take issue with Warlocks. I guess gaining power through ancient nature or barbarism is better then being ambitious and seeking power from a different source /sarcasm.

3. Slay the offending Barbarian in his sleep (most likely re-rolling a character, but potentially straining relationships). This is the first option that might potentially cause RL issues in the group. Depending on how your group is with pvp and/or staying in character, this may or may not be ok. I'd only recommend this path if you're ready to pretty much roll a new character. The party will most likely wake up during the attack, and unless you've already killed him, will probably team up and kill you. Even if you do manage to kill him, you'd have to roll pretty well to convince the rest of the party that he died and there was nothing you could do to save him from whatever killed him.

4. Your PC dies in their sleep, or some other interesting way for the DM (leave the group entirely). This is something you brought up, but is the most extreme route to go. If you're not having fun with the group anymore and no one is willing to adjust fire, you might just have to pick up your dice and leave. Think about this decision long and hard before you actually decide to pursue it, as one of the previous three options are completely valid options to continue playing.

[KorvinStarmast]

Ok so here is the situation.
Standard dysfunctional D&D group. You need to answer these three questions:

How important are these people to you?
How important is this game to you?
Why is it so important to you that IC people don't know X about you?

As a follow up to question 3, is keeping secrets from each other a norm in this group? If so, then part of the game For Everyone Else is finding out each others' secrets.

Bottom Line: you are in charge of your fun. If this isn't fun anymore, stop abusing yourself by going back for more.

[kaoskonfety]

I'd be wondering if this is worth the hassle. I generally do not stick around for abuse, in games or otherwise.

Solutions I'd be checking on as they appear to be gearing up to fight you specifically...
- let them know you'll be willing to come back whenever they grow the f*** up and find something else to do with your saturdays, like another group, any other group
- do not interact with your friendly neighbourhood Dwarven troll, ignore them completely. They are not there. This is a social game, do not engage with them, act like they are not at the table. If/when they attack you in game only acknowledge the DM advisement on taking damage or being attacked. When this gets you killed ask the DM why this is being tolerated. Try to have an adult conversation about this with the DM. When this fails, see the first point
- offend the Barb properly in a civilized area, when he axes you, have his ass arrested, possibly for murder


And less mature options...
- leave the party, take up screen time finding another adventure to go on and forming a new party
- Let them die. Critical/close fights can be walked away from while invisible from the back ranks. If they have made it clear in character they hate you, why are you risking your life saving their bacon exactly? If they are particulary nasty that morning give the big bad a bit of a hand before bugging out.
- do some prep, call the barb on it. If they are "optomized" their Wisdom, Charisma and Int saves will blow, increasingly in that order. Wreck them, burn their stuff, whatever amuses. Or die, whatever. Make a new character better designed to end them, repeat.
- laugh it off, agree that you certainly are NOT a person wink, get VERY happy when they suspect you of some random wrongdoing for no good reason, be STUPIDLY helpful and forgiving (the shirt off my back? NO problem!). Make them good and Paranoid. Never betray them. Keep laughing. When you eventually die saving their lives refuse resurrection "why would I come back to you abusive asses? I'm in the paradise my patron has promised me.". Make a new character, make it what they keep wishing you were actually playing. Make it the worse person ever. Trick out an Assassin, starting money on poisons, rob the party and blow the money gambling or on ale and drugs. When the call you on it, apologize make every promise in the world to make it better, then kill someone in their sleep. All of them if you can manage it. Let them know you'll be willing to come back whenever they grow the f*** up and find something else to do with your saturdays, like another group, any other group.

[Misterwhisper]

Standard dysfunctional D&D group. You need to answer these three questions:

How important are these people to you?
How important is this game to you?
Why is it so important to you that IC people don't know X about you?

As a follow up to question 3, is keeping secrets from each other a norm in this group? If so, then part of the game For Everyone Else is finding out each others' secrets.

Bottom Line: you are in charge of your fun. If this isn't fun anymore, stop abusing yourself by going back for more.

1. We have been friends for 18 years, but mainly just due to gaming, we really have nothing else in common.

2. The game is important because it is the only real game around unless I want to game with people like 15 years younger than me what still have to be reminded which one the D8 is.

3. The secrecy thing is because my character sold his soul for social acceptance and power, he was a half drow being raised by the drow. He knows people will go back to not accepting him if they found out. Also everyone generally just does not trust warlocks in the first place and I am the face man for our guild of adventurers.

No, it is not the norm, the Rogue is an assassin who kills for gold, the barbarian is your typical club it with big sword guy, the minotaur cleric is a surly violent pirate, and the druid almost never talks at all.

I am just the only one that takes it serious, so they find it fun to piss me off.

[KorvinStarmast]

1. We have been friends for 18 years, but mainly just due to gaming, we really have nothing else in common.

2. The game is important because it is the only real game around unless I want to game with people like 15 years younger than me what still have to be reminded which one the D8 is.

3. The secrecy thing is because my character sold his soul for social acceptance and power, he was a half drow being raised by the drow. He knows people will go back to not accepting him if they found out. Also everyone generally just does not trust warlocks in the first place and I am the face man for our guild of adventurers.

No, it is not the norm, the Rogue is an assassin who kills for gold, the barbarian is your typical club it with big sword guy, the minotaur cleric is a surly violent pirate, and the druid almost never talks at all.

I am just the only one that takes it serious, so they find it fun to piss me off. if this is standard fare, and has been for years, there isn't a solution. You've had your rant ... now go and have some adventure. :smallbiggrin: If you "take this seriously" and the others don't, and you've been doing this together for years, none of this is a surprise to you. Right?

[uraniumrooster]

In my experience, dysfunction in a gaming group generally comes from the players seeking different types of fun. Check out this article for an explanation:

http://angrydm.com/2014/01/gaming-for-fun-part-1-eight-kinds-of-fun/

It sounds to me like you're looking to experience Fantasy, Narrative, and Expression from the game. Some of the others (the Dwarf Barb at least) are looking for more of a Challenge and Submission experience. That is to say, you want to actually partake in a story and make your character a part of it, while they want to roll dice and kill stuff and not worry too much about the "fluff" (even going as far as belittling you/your character for seeking a more narrative experience).

If they're mature enough to understand the difference and accept that everyone enjoys the game for different reason, it might be worth bringing this up with your group. If the DM is willing to incorporate all of the different types of fun, then all of you guys should be able to get what you want from the game. They just have to be willing to accept a bit more story-driven narrative content in the game instead of belittling it, with the understanding that it's a group game and not everyone enjoys the game the same way.

If they can't accept that, and they think of the setting and story as a bunch of "power-word blah" that just gets in the way of combat, then it might come down to adjusting your own expectations for the game and just roll with it as a not-terribly-serious combat oriented game. Or, if you're just not enjoying it, bow out of the group and find something else... you could even start your own game. If you enjoy Narrative & Expression as ways to have fun, then DMing can be even better than playing.

[Demonslayer666]

It sounds like they are just trying to get a rise out of you. Stop giving them what they want.

Instead of getting mad, laugh it off.

[MrFahrenheit]

I wouldn't normally suggest this, but since the guy playing the barb seems like a grade-A jerk...

If you rarely have combat, you can effectively marginalize him. You're going to have maxed out charisma. If he's as combat optimized as you say, he simply won't. And if your DM hates combat, he's basically marginalized himself anyhow.

Shut him down in all social situations and fight fire with fire. "YOU really want to try intimidating with your (8-12 I'm guessing) charisma? Go do something useful with your athletics proficiency while the grown ups talk."

Be sure to ignore any at-table advice he sends your way during conversation, too. In fact, try doing the opposite whenever possible.

At the end of the day, this situation is still ridiculous. Most players who are jerks in character to one another leave it at the table...