Help me think of an Item!

[Hobbo Jim]

In lieu of my graduation, my DM has told me that when I open a box that I found, an item comes out. I was then told that the item could be whatever I wanted it to be! (This is a humor campaign, so being OP is a non-issue). The only catch is that whatever I choose he and the other player may "twist" in some way. Of course, we can't live in fear of twists! So, help me get my creative waves flowing and let me know what ridiculous thing (listed or your own creation) you think I should take. As a side note, we are doing a "space campaign" in which mages put protective bubbles around ships and then fly them around, going from planet to planet. I am a Sociopathic businessman (think devils), who owns a large string of pawn shops/"general" stores.

Ideas so far:
-Key that can open any door
-A can of re-usable "whoop-ass"

[TheTeaMustFlow]

Might be useful to know what class and such you are. Also, what's the technology level? By ships, are we talking the USS Enterprise or a Spelljammer (http://cdn.obsidianportal.com/assets/200517/bral5a1.jpg)?

Something that disrupts the protective bubble around a ship might be useful. Or perhaps something that helps in breaking and entering, like an invisibility whatsit.

[Misterwhisper]

Cape of Fanfare: This came plays your entrance music whenever you enter a new location, once per short rest, it will include pyro and an illusory hype man.

[Kane0]

The Covetous Coin (Attunement)

As an action you can activate or deactivate the coin's effect. You are immune to the coin's effects.
When active any creature that can see the coin must make a Wisdom saving throw (DC 18) or become overcome with craving and desire to possess it. They go to any lengths they are capable of to claim it as their own and protect it from others.
Creatures that lose sight of the coin for 1 full minute are able to shake off the effect.

Exactly the kind of thing a sociopathic businessman needs.

[Specter]

Headband of Honesty
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Uncommom
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The bearer of this headband awakens honest emotions on those around him. You automatically know the Charisma score of any creature within 20 feet of you. Additionally, any creature attempting a Charisma (Deception) check against you is consumed by unspeakable horrors, taking 4d10 psychic damage and falling prone.
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That's what I'd dream of. :D

[Hobbo Jim]

To answer the initial questions: We're playing spell jammer and I'm playing a Psion, planning to take rogue levels. I have put the vast majority of points into charisma and int.

As for the items, the coin seems like it could go very poorly for me very quickly o.O especially since I'm near pirates, who'd probably rather just kill me opposed to bartering for it :smalleek:
The cape and the headband both sound hilarious. I'll have to decide how much attention I want... I appreciate the ideas! :smallbiggrin:

[Lombra]

The middle finger of destruction:

a glove which when worn forces the wearer to close the fist and raise the middle finger;

Once a day the wearer can perform an intimidation check on a creature, pointing the glove to the target of the intimidation.
If the target gets intimidated the wearer of the glove can cast disintegrate on the intimidated creature without the need of any components.

[Innocent_bystan]

-Key that can open any door


Think bigger. A foldable door that can be placed against a wall to become an entrance. Step through the door and you can peel it from the wall to be reused.

[Gurston]

A small robot butler (a golem or a sentient animated object or something like that). could be fun with the players getting to twist it a bit

[Wulfskadi]

Belt of stubbornness:

Single use item

If you are trapped in the vacuum of space, about to die. If you are bleeding in the back of a temple and fail your last death saving throw. If you stick your hand in a statue's mouth and suddenly everything goes black. If you die for any means, this belt takes effect. Your body remains intact, however you remain comatose and essentially dead. However in reality you are only mostly dead, which is partially alive. While mostly dead you are essentially dead, except you don't decompose. You also appear revivable to anyone with medical training. If anyone finds you and tries to revive you, they succeed and you are restored to life with half HP. If you are killed within the next 24 hours you return to being mostly dead, however after this period the belt loses effect for 100 years.