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View Full Version : Defeat the summon of the poster above you II: Summon a better thread title



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ericgrau
2017-03-18, 07:51 PM
I summon Orochimaru.

ben-zayb
2017-03-19, 10:03 AM
I summon a group of immature people from a different fanbase that insults and jeers at people who reference Naruto.

Emmerlaus
2017-03-19, 02:51 PM
I summon a group of immature people from a different fanbase that insults and jeers at people who reference Naruto.

Since their was a REAL Orochimaru summoned, they all bite covered in bite mark and poisoned. So much for them defeating the source of their hatred!

I summon Planet Earth Green Lantern, with a fully charged ring and lantern.

Arenabait
2017-03-19, 04:29 PM
I summon DC One Million Kal-El

ericgrau
2017-03-19, 05:32 PM
I summon a comic universe reboot.

ben-zayb
2017-03-20, 07:40 AM
I summon terrible writers for reboot

pendell
2017-03-20, 09:04 AM
I summon terrible writers for reboot

I summon Joss Whedon to helm the reboot and kick those other, lesser writers to the curb.

Tongue-in-cheek,

Brian P.

8BitNinja
2017-03-20, 11:02 AM
I summon THE WINGED HUSSARS (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aPd4zDhTn4U)

I'm pretty sure this song (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=75zmIj_4LFQ) is considered a solid meme by now, but I don't know 100%

TheManicMonocle
2017-03-22, 03:44 PM
I summon THE WINGED HUSSARS (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aPd4zDhTn4U)

I'm pretty sure this song (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=75zmIj_4LFQ) is considered a solid meme by now, but I don't know 100%

I summon the introduction of firearms, rendering the hussars obsolete.

(Sabaton is the best)

Syldar
2017-03-23, 08:00 AM
I summon a spell that sets arms on fire.

pendell
2017-03-23, 09:40 AM
I summon a vacuum; without oxygen, no fire.

Respectfully,

Brian P.

An Amy
2017-03-23, 10:17 AM
I summon Dyson to shame your vacuum with bagless technology and elitist pricing.

Libro
2017-03-23, 10:25 AM
I summon dire dust bunnies to clog and break Dyson vacuum cleaners.

ericgrau
2017-03-23, 12:02 PM
I summon a party of 1st level adventurers to slay the dire dust bunnies. They roll their eyes at the DM.

pendell
2017-03-23, 12:12 PM
I summon a lich dire dust bunny, as well as several hench dust bunnies with class levels, not to mention spiked chains.

Tongue-in-cheek,

Brian P.

An Amy
2017-03-23, 01:01 PM
I summon a Zippo.

ericgrau
2017-03-23, 11:20 PM
I summon a fire extinguisher.

Yael
2017-03-24, 05:32 AM
I summon Lester the Unlikely to operate the fire extinguisher.

An Amy
2017-03-24, 07:15 AM
I summon a zucchini in Lester's hands instead of the fire extinguisher.

Libro
2017-03-24, 10:32 AM
I summon a cookbook for zucchini.

pendell
2017-03-24, 11:32 AM
I summon Bork the chef (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sY_Yf4zz-yo) to do the cooking.

Tongue-in-cheek,

Brian P.

Mister Tom
2017-03-24, 03:05 PM
I summon Miss Piggy. Hii-YAH!

Emmerlaus
2017-03-24, 03:09 PM
I summon a confused SJW, both member of PETA and a feminist and a box of matches.

braveheart
2017-03-24, 04:04 PM
I summon the avatar of apathy
i know that you don't care about him

An Amy
2017-03-24, 04:22 PM
I summon Pinkie Pie.

Emmerlaus
2017-03-24, 07:32 PM
I summon Pinkie Pie.

I summon Deadpool

Syldar
2017-03-25, 09:05 AM
I summon a fourth wall made of indestructium.

ericgrau
2017-03-26, 11:45 AM
I summon nightcrawler to teleport away the fourth wall.

pendell
2017-03-27, 12:51 PM
I summon a parallel universe in which the wall never moved. Cue infinite universe theory.

Tongue-in-cheek,

Brian P.

braveheart
2017-03-27, 01:05 PM
I summon a multiverse bomb, that can destroy all universes at once

Emmerlaus
2017-03-27, 02:01 PM
I summon a multiverse bomb, that can destroy all universes at once

I summon a author who rewrite the ending of the serie

ben-zayb
2017-03-29, 05:55 AM
I summon the editor, who obviously has a bigger say than the author

An Amy
2017-03-29, 08:19 AM
I summon a popular fanfic which takes over as the preferred version

pendell
2017-03-29, 09:43 AM
I summon an army of lawyers to sue the pants off the fanfic author.

Tongue-in-cheek,

Brian P.

braveheart
2017-03-29, 11:00 AM
I summon fair use

An Amy
2017-03-29, 03:24 PM
I summon ads on the fair use fanfic site to give it revenue and grounds for a lawsuit.

Emmerlaus
2017-03-29, 04:16 PM
I summon Ads Blocker on all computers in the world

ericgrau
2017-03-30, 09:37 AM
I summon Microsoft who puts OS forced leaks in the ad blockers to allow "good" (mostly their) software through. Of course anyone can take advantage of the leaks.

braveheart
2017-03-30, 10:13 AM
I summon Linux

pendell
2017-03-30, 03:01 PM
I summon Linux user interface. Job done.

Tongue-in-cheek,

Brian P.

Simetra Irertne
2017-03-31, 07:25 AM
I summon a glass of water, which gets knocked over onto the computer.

ElFi
2017-03-31, 02:29 PM
I summon paper towels. The quality kind.

braveheart
2017-03-31, 02:45 PM
I summon fire

Ninjaman
2017-03-31, 03:16 PM
I summon lack of aim.

An Amy
2017-03-31, 04:11 PM
I summon an aimbot to fix that handily.

Simetra Irertne
2017-04-01, 05:10 PM
I summon a glass of water to fall on the aimbot's circuit board.

ben-zayb
2017-04-01, 08:48 PM
I summon water-proofing technology

An Amy
2017-04-02, 04:07 PM
I summon sulfuric acid to mix with the water and create some nasty reactions.

Simetra Irertne
2017-04-03, 07:32 AM
I summon a resilient sphere to encase your nasty reactions and bury it in the ground. The reactions are still happening, just not here.

pendell
2017-04-03, 09:51 AM
I summon Bigby's sphere-retrieving hand to get the sphere and it's reactions back.

Tongue-in-cheek,

Brian P.

Ignimortis
2017-04-03, 10:18 AM
I summon a "Do not touch" sign onto the sphere.

Simetra Irertne
2017-04-03, 10:38 AM
I summon Bugsby's Poking Finger to intentionally disregard the sign. I then summon Bugsby's Expressive Single Digit (http://www.giantitp.com/comics/oots0624.html) to deal with those who object.

An Amy
2017-04-03, 02:18 PM
I summon a no-magic campaign setting to put an end to all these Bigby shenanigans, resilient spheres and such.

Xihirli
2017-04-03, 03:01 PM
I summon bored players.

braveheart
2017-04-03, 03:28 PM
I summon an over the top action packed adventure.

Mister Tom
2017-04-03, 03:44 PM
I summon (and truly am sorry) Michael Bay to direct it.

pendell
2017-04-03, 04:14 PM
I summon D20 Modern, and ignore Michael Bay.

Tongue-in-cheek,

Brian P.

An Amy
2017-04-03, 10:27 PM
I summon a D20 modern adaptation film for Michael Bay.

Simetra Irertne
2017-04-04, 06:57 AM
I summon a large glass of water to fall on the control panel for the screen showing the film.

pendell
2017-04-04, 09:12 AM
I summon insulation and waterproof materials for the computer. You could operate it at the bottom of the Marianas trench and it would come to no hurt.


... apropos of that, I summon Michael Bay to the bottom of the Marianas Trench. And there was much rejoicing (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yciX2meIkXI).


Tongue-in-cheek,

Brian P.

An Amy
2017-04-04, 09:20 AM
I summon James Cameron in a nifty new sub to Challenger Deep to rescue Michael Bay... and they rose to the top and had a glorious idea for co-directing a new blockbuster pentalogy.

Simetra Irertne
2017-04-04, 10:01 AM
I summon a portable hole in the side of the sub, through which I throw a glass of water...immediately followed by more water (not in a glass).

Libro
2017-04-04, 10:25 PM
I summon a bag of holding to place in the portable hole from a safe distance.

If a bag of holding is placed within a portable hole a rift to the Astral Plane is torn in the space: Bag and hole alike are sucked into the void and forever lost. If a portable hole is placed within a bag of holding, it opens a gate to the Astral Plane: The hole, the bag, and any creatures within a 10-foot radius are drawn there, destroying the portable hole and bag of holding in the process.

pendell
2017-04-05, 10:07 AM
I summon antimagic field, cancelling both the portable hole and the bag of holding.

Tongue-in-cheek,

Brian P.

An Amy
2017-04-05, 10:22 AM
I summon the Sun Crusher to rescue the two brilliant and awe-inspiring directors from the bottom of the Challenger Deep and away from this pouch and bubble of "no more weird things".

Simetra Irertne
2017-04-05, 12:13 PM
I summon a glass of water to fall on a key component of the sun crusher's system at a critical time, short-circuiting the system and causing an emergency shutdown.

So simple, so easily defeated, yet the glass of water lives on as the bane of technology everywhere. Well, not "lives" exactly, but ...continues to exist? ...remains in power? ...forget it. You know what I mean.

An Amy
2017-04-05, 01:31 PM
Summon pure h20 for the glass of water, which is not electrically conductive.

5a Violista
2017-04-05, 02:20 PM
Summon pure h20 for the glass of water, which is not electrically conductive.


I summon the difference between a zero (0) and a capital o (O) which makes H20 totally different from (and possibly more reactive than) H2O.

;p

pendell
2017-04-05, 03:58 PM
H20 should be just hydrogen. So I summon a lit match into it. This forces an oxidation reaction (and a fire ,but let's not be picky). Combining the hydrogen and oxygen results in water. And a fire, don't forget.

Respectfully,

Brian P.

Simetra Irertne
2017-04-05, 07:34 PM
I summon a glass of water. To put out the fire. Come on, you're making this too easy.

Is there anything a glass of water can't do?

TheManicMonocle
2017-04-06, 02:42 AM
I summon an electrical fire

An Amy
2017-04-06, 07:50 AM
I summon dead batteries that stop the electrical ignition source so the glass of water can do its thing.

pendell
2017-04-06, 10:32 AM
I summon a bolt of lightning. 1.21 GIGAWATTS!



I summon a glass of water. To put out the fire. Come on, you're making this too easy.


More seriously, a glass of water on a fire that I just described would have no more impact than spitting on the sun. Remember that water (in vapor form) is being created as a result of the fire.

Tongue-in-cheek,

Brian P.

GreyStormcrow
2017-04-06, 10:45 AM
I summon a bolt of lightning. 1.21 GIGAWATTS!



More seriously, a glass of water on a fire that I just described would have no more impact than spitting on the sun. Remember that water (in vapor form) is being created as a result of the fire.

Tongue-in-cheek,

Brian P.
Clearly it was a big glass.

I summon Frankenstein's Monster, who noms the bolt up.

braveheart
2017-04-06, 11:27 AM
I summon the peasantry, with pitchforks, and FIRE

Simetra Irertne
2017-04-06, 11:41 AM
I'm back. I summon a huge glass of water. It's more like a tank, but shaped like a glass. I then drown the peasantry.


If you have a problem, solve it with fire. If it doesn't work, use more fire. If someone else has a problem, drop a glass of water on it. If it doesn't work, get a big glass of water and drown them.

An Amy
2017-04-06, 01:30 PM
I summon gills for the peasants, webbed feet for swimming in the torrent, and tridents instead of pitch forks. For fluff.

pendell
2017-04-06, 01:57 PM
I summon an adventuring party hungry for XP, since the peasants are now Sahagin.

Tongue-in-cheek,

Brian P.

braveheart
2017-04-06, 04:18 PM
I summon an EVIL GM to murder the party

Xihirli
2017-04-06, 04:25 PM
I summon a wolf to kill the GM!

pendell
2017-04-06, 04:45 PM
I summon a mysterious Ronin to act as a bodyguard for the GM. He spends most of the session squinting at the players.

Tongue-in-cheek,

Brian P.

Simetra Irertne
2017-04-06, 05:45 PM
I summon a glass of water, and pour it on Ronin's head. Just for fun. I then throw the glass at him. (From a safe distance. With mage hand.)

:belkar:Physical comedy! Ha! What else would you expect from a bumbling sidekick?

braveheart
2017-04-07, 10:40 AM
I summon Drax the destroyer to jump up and catch it with his fast reflexes

Xihirli
2017-04-07, 12:11 PM
I summon a turtle and a knitting needle.

Simetra Irertne
2017-04-07, 01:04 PM
I summon a glass of water. The water goes on the needle, just out of spite. The turtle gets glass in it's face.

pendell
2017-04-07, 03:02 PM
I summon The Dessicator (http://dark.prophecy.tripod.com/DarkReign/imperium/history.html)



Trilkin's arms research scientists had actually already designed a devastating new chemical weapon, a catalyzing compound that sheared the hydrogen atoms from water molecules. The compound then incorporated the free hydrogen atoms, thereby reproducing itself and continuing to divide any water molecules it came in contact with. The effect could be transferred through airborne water molecules and even through water in living organisms. One molecule of the compound could therefore consume all the moisture in an entire planet in a matter of minutes.



And this happens (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RezinSRBLCk) .

There is no more water on the planet. Further, because it is covered with this chemical, any newly introduced water will immediately be converted into Desiccator compound as well.

Tongue-in-cheek,

Brian P.

Simetra Irertne
2017-04-07, 03:39 PM
Congratulations. We're all dead now. I'm surprised it took this long for someone to do something like this, using ice-nine or another water-removal chemical.

However...loopholes.

I summon a glass full of a clear, inert, stable liquid that splits The Dessicator molecules into water and more of itself. It has a half life of 1 month and upon decaying, becomes...water. It also protects the existing water from further desiccation or conversion into ice-nine. Within moments, it is full of water and the planet has been returned to it's life-supporting state.

TheManicMonocle
2017-04-07, 05:16 PM
I summon a nearby star going supernova that swallows the planet and dries up any liquid​ and probably the planet too

An Amy
2017-04-07, 09:33 PM
I summon the Gnab Gib.

TheManicMonocle
2017-04-07, 09:39 PM
I summon a creator deity to start it all again

ericgrau
2017-04-08, 10:18 AM
I summon an apocalypse.

Simetra Irertne
2017-04-08, 11:45 AM
I summon a large glass of water to rehydrate the earth, restarting the creation of life. Soon, silicon (glass) life-forms are created.

GreyStormcrow
2017-04-08, 02:01 PM
I summon an opera singer.

braveheart
2017-04-08, 02:21 PM
I summon a soar throat

GreyStormcrow
2017-04-08, 02:58 PM
I summon weights to help keep the throat on the ground.

TheManicMonocle
2017-04-08, 04:10 PM
I summon a waterproof crane to lift the weights

Simetra Irertne
2017-04-08, 04:17 PM
I see you've prepared for me...
I summon a pair of huge glasses of water, which I attach to the weights to weigh them down beyond the crane's ability to lift them. Your move, creative people on the internet...

Masema
2017-04-08, 04:42 PM
I summon a pair of huge sponges, made of transient materials. They exist just long enough to absorb all of the water, then *poof* only the glasses remain.

pendell
2017-04-09, 05:32 PM
I summon antimatter to interact with the glasses and blow a hole in the void of space, leaving a black hole from which neither light nor water can escape.

Tongue-in-cheek,

Brian P.

dadada
2017-04-09, 09:50 PM
I summon a Warforged with the Planar Portal spell/ritual

Simetra Irertne
2017-04-10, 07:18 AM
The portal opens. A small object comes speeding out, followed by another...and another. Soon the Warforged is knocked off balance by a barrage of speeding glasses of water, shards of reinforced glass flying everywhere as they shatter on it's skin. The Warforged tries to turn, to escape the speeding projectiles, to dismiss the spell. Nothing works. Against all reason, the portal remains open and continues to spew forth an endless supply of water, complete with clear cylindrical containers.

I'm back! Miss me?

pendell
2017-04-10, 07:38 AM
I summon a second portal whose point of exit is just behind the first one. The glasses of water travel in an endless closed loop between the portals.

Tongue-in-cheek,

Brian P.

Simetra Irertne
2017-04-10, 07:52 AM
I pour a glass of water on the face of the concentrating wizard. His concentration broken, his portal fails, and the glass-water onslaught continues unhindered.

(Sorry about the 3 post rule, but this is too good an opportunity to pass up. Tech isn't the only thing messed up by a glass of water to the [inter]face)

pendell
2017-04-10, 11:13 AM
I pour a glass of water on the face of the concentrating wizard. His concentration broken, his portal fails, and the glass-water onslaught continues unhindered.

(Sorry about the 3 post rule, but this is too good an opportunity to pass up. Tech isn't the only thing messed up by a glass of water to the [inter]face)

There is no wizard. Just a portal.

Tongue-in-cheek,

Brian P.

5a Violista
2017-04-10, 07:19 PM
Since there is no wizard, I summon a legion of brooms carrying buckets to help clean up the water.

:smalltongue:

TheManicMonocle
2017-04-10, 09:38 PM
I summon a giant glass of water, way too heavy for the brooms to move

Simetra Irertne
2017-04-11, 05:30 AM
I summon a smaller glass of water, which I throw at your glass and crack the side, causing all your water to leak out. That's my signature summon!

pendell
2017-04-11, 05:48 AM
I summon a smaller glass of water, which I throw at your glass and crack the side, causing all your water to leak out. That's my signature summon!

I summon an even larger glass of water to trap the leaked in water and the smaller glasses.

I think I sense the thread title of the next iteration of this game :smallamused:

Tongue-in-cheek,

Brian P.

ericgrau
2017-04-11, 07:42 AM
I summon an even larger glass of water above yours to fall and crush it, with thick enough glass that it is not damaged from the fall.

An Amy
2017-04-11, 10:16 AM
I summon SID from Virtuosity that starts to replicate himself by eating the glass.

Libro
2017-04-11, 11:20 AM
I summon an Imperial Star Destroyer to perform an orbital bombardment to destroy SID.

pendell
2017-04-11, 11:23 AM
I summon a small glass of water to fall in a critical component of the ISD's reactor #3. The ISD, as with most Imperial engineering, instantly vaporizes. There is not even dust left.

Tongue-in-cheek,

Brian P.

Simetra Irertne
2017-04-11, 11:43 AM
I summon a large glass, half full of water, to materialize directly below the small glass and catch it without spilling any water.

braveheart
2017-04-11, 05:30 PM
i summon a waterproof cordless drill to make a hole in the bottom of the giant glass of water

TheManicMonocle
2017-04-11, 07:23 PM
I summon static shock! That superhero with electric powers who zaps the drill into not working.

(I wonder if we should ban glasses of water next time 😂)

ericgrau
2017-04-12, 01:29 AM
I summon anti-static dryer sheets.

Simetra Irertne
2017-04-12, 07:00 AM
I summon a glass of water to soak the sheets, making them less useful in a dryer. I then break the glass and use the shards to cut them up, reducing their existence to wet pieces of paper.

pendell
2017-04-12, 11:07 AM
I summon stainless steel scissors. Scissors beat paper, y'know.

Tongue-in-cheek,

Brian P.

An Amy
2017-04-12, 04:06 PM
I summon stainless steel scissors. Scissors beat paper, y'know.

Tongue-in-cheek,

Brian P.

I summon a rock. That's on fire. On fire because it was ignited. It's made of iron (iii) oxide.
Eh... it's a rock.

Alandra
2017-04-13, 03:23 PM
I summon a fire extinguisher.

TurboGhast
2017-04-13, 03:46 PM
I summon a metallic glass box around the extinguisher labeled "Break in case of emergency".

One rock isn't quite an emergency. Two rocks, though...

5a Violista
2017-04-13, 06:15 PM
I summon an emergency.
(Y'know, like how it happens in Sim City. So...should we go with Riots or Alien Invasion this time? How about both?)

Yael
2017-04-13, 09:14 PM
I summon 911.

An Amy
2017-04-14, 10:08 AM
I summon the Avengers.

Simetra Irertne
2017-04-14, 10:56 AM
I summon a glass of water in the Hulk's face. He goes on a rampage and destroys the rest of them. They can't do anything because they are all distracted by various glasses of water:
Iron Man: water+technology=bad
Black Widow: drowning
Hawkeye: drowning
Thor: water conducts electricity
Captain America: trapped in upside-down glass full of water, reinforced to be unbreakable

GreyStormcrow
2017-04-14, 02:18 PM
I summon a machine that destroys every iteration of a glass of water that is, was, or ever will be.

Asmodean_
2017-04-14, 02:27 PM
I summon Jontron (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1CCNLlngp6M)

Yael
2017-04-17, 04:20 AM
I summon internet haters on Jontron's personal points of view on society.

EDIT: Jontron <3

pendell
2017-04-17, 09:46 AM
I summon a solar flare which wipes out the internet via EMP in a heartbeat.

Yes, I also summon a small glass of water which appears directly in the path of the aforesaid solar flare, and immediately vaporizes. Believe it or not, there are some things in the universe H20 cannot solve :smallamused:

Tongue-in-cheek,

Brian P.

The-0-Endless
2017-04-19, 09:45 PM
I summon the singularity. Without that pesky EMP weakness.

ericgrau
2017-04-20, 12:08 AM
I summon the exponential growth fallacy: limited resources or other constraints prevent exponential growth from ever continuing, including the singularity.

pendell
2017-04-20, 09:53 AM
I summon a can-do attitude and magic. Both of which have been waterproofed.

Tongue-in-cheek,

Brian P.

Arenabait
2017-04-20, 10:43 AM
I summon crippling depression!

Asmodean_
2017-04-20, 12:11 PM
I summon medication and a good support base.

pendell
2017-04-20, 02:07 PM
I summon medicinal allergies and an abusive spouse.

Libro
2017-04-20, 02:20 PM
I summon a lich in spiked armor. No allergies, spouse gets injured if the try anything bad.

braveheart
2017-04-20, 02:51 PM
I summon a rust elemental who is also a level 20 paladin

pendell
2017-04-20, 03:30 PM
I summon waterproof 1st edition AD&D rules. There are no level 20 anythings. Only humans and demihumans can be player characters, and only humans do not labor under crippling restrictions. Multiclassing is limited, and there is no such thing as a rust elemental.

...

Great scott, since when was "Rust" an element, anyway :smallbiggrin:?

Oh, and everyone dies horribly after taking five steps into the dungeon because they miss their save-or-die rolls against a collapsing ceiling/rockfall trap.

Tongue-in-cheek,

Brian P.

Syldar
2017-04-20, 07:21 PM
I summon Wizards who live on the coast.

ericgrau
2017-04-21, 12:26 AM
I summon Hasbro... and crystalline cylindrical vessels with open tops full of water for their executives to drink without triggering anti-glass contingencies.

pendell
2017-04-21, 08:46 AM
I summon a wizard to change the water into something more drinkable :smallbiggrin: Merlot, by preference, but Port isn't bad either.

Tongue-in-cheek,

Brian P.

5jco
2017-04-21, 05:13 PM
I summon an Ancient Black Dragon, with a passion for the arcane arts, a dead family, and Anti-magic Field!

Mister Tom
2017-04-23, 01:45 AM
I summon the fact that without magic Dragons could not possibly exist,and a DM stupid enough to accept that argument.

ericgrau
2017-04-23, 08:46 AM
I summon a better DM.

pendell
2017-04-23, 09:00 AM
I summon the DM's significant other to run a Mary Sue/Marty Stu DMPC character in the campaign.

ETA: The character sheets and rule books are all waterproofed.

Tongue-in-cheek,

Brian P.

Ann P. C.
2017-04-23, 09:39 AM
I summon a bigger fish.
Word of god makes the charackter incompatible with the system and setting.

Simetra Irertne
2017-04-23, 12:56 PM
I summon a glass of water to throw at the fish.
Can fish live in water? Yes. Can fish live with glass shards in their everywhere? No.

I'm back. In case you haven't noticed.

ericgrau
2017-04-23, 05:59 PM
I summon an opera singer to shatter the glass mid flight before it hits the fish.

Drakeburn
2017-04-23, 07:17 PM
I summon strep throat, so that the opera singer can't break the glass.

braveheart
2017-04-24, 11:41 AM
I summon a hammer so the opera singer can break the glass anyway

pendell
2017-04-24, 03:11 PM
I summon an art critic to so thoroughly crush the self-esteem of the opera singer that she leaves the theater and goes to sell real-estate instead.

It goes without saying that the art critic is encased in a pressure suit which is designed specifically to be invulnerable both to water and to glass.

Tongue-in-cheek,

Brian P.

Ann P. C.
2017-04-24, 03:27 PM
I summon a lawsuit against the critic because his biased critic against the opera costed us a fortune.

GreyStormcrow
2017-04-25, 01:00 PM
I summon a bounty on lawyers.
*Blam!*

Drakeburn
2017-04-25, 01:34 PM
I summon a bounty on the bounty hunters.

pendell
2017-04-25, 02:16 PM
I summon a bounty on the bounty hunters.

I summon a hacker to freeze the bounty hunter's bank accounts, so no one gets paid.

Also , the hacker and her computer are enclosed in waterproof garments. She also drinks only Code Red Mountain Dew, so water has no hold on her.

Tongue-in-cheek,

Brian P.

5a Violista
2017-04-26, 01:00 AM
I summon a power outage.

Simetra Irertne
2017-04-26, 07:07 AM
I summon a continuous rain of lightning streaming down from the heavens, providing enough power at a reasonable voltage to power everything on the planet. As a by-product, it also causes massive fires at every flammable object on the planet. Oops...
My "glass of water" summons have gotten waaay out of hand. Changing my style. Flame Strike!

Ann P. C.
2017-04-26, 04:05 PM
I summon sand. It gets everywhere and doesn't burn. Also, technical, it is grounded.

Simetra Irertne
2017-04-26, 05:53 PM
Sorry about the 3-post rule. Couldn't resist:
I summon fire to melt the sand. I then shape it into glass. I then fill the glass with water.

Drakeburn
2017-04-26, 07:34 PM
I summon a baseball to break the glass and spill the water.

pendell
2017-04-27, 07:53 AM
I summon a baseball bat, and a batter.

Tongue-in-cheek,

Brian P.

Ann P. C.
2017-04-27, 11:13 AM
Purification in progress. I summon the Judge. It is a very Off Gamereference from my side, but well....

The game is OFF by mortis ghost. It is free. There isn't a offical trailer, but here you go: https://www . youtube . com/watch?v=bAFhMoXgqk8

Simetra Irertne
2017-04-27, 12:08 PM
I can't say I get the reference. Sorry about that. I guess I'm not as much a nerd as I thought I was.:smallsigh:
I summon a fireball. And a lightning bolt, for good measure.

Drakeburn
2017-04-27, 11:07 PM
I summon an innocent bystander to get in the way of the fireball and lightning bolt.

TheManicMonocle
2017-04-28, 12:42 PM
I summon "All Might" a superhero from "boku no hero academia" to save the innocent bystander!

pendell
2017-04-28, 04:48 PM
I summon "All Might" a superhero from "boku no hero academia" to save the innocent bystander!

I summon a crippling vulnerability to Dihydrogen monoxide and .. you guessed it ... a glass of water.

:smallamused:

Tongue-in-cheek,

Brian P.

Simetra Irertne
2017-04-28, 06:38 PM
Halfway though saving the bystander, "someone" lights the hero on fire. When he puts it out, someone lights him on fire again. By now the bystander has been hit by the fireball.

ElFi
2017-04-28, 06:57 PM
I summon Now Do It Again Backwards (http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/NowDoItAgainBackwards).

Preemptive apologies to anyone who has their lives ruined by TV Tropes.

Ann P. C.
2017-04-29, 09:30 AM
TvTropes, heh? I summon a subversion.

ericgrau
2017-04-29, 02:55 PM
I summon an internet crash.

TheManicMonocle
2017-04-29, 05:31 PM
I summon Bill Gates

Simetra Irertne
2017-05-01, 07:16 AM
I light him on fire.

Syldar
2017-05-01, 08:30 AM
I summon a glass of water fire extinguisher.

pendell
2017-05-01, 10:39 AM
I summon a bigger fire.

Tongue-in-cheek,

Brian P.

ElFi
2017-05-01, 04:08 PM
I summon a team of firefighters and a hydrant.

Drakeburn
2017-05-01, 08:59 PM
I summon a hydra to eat the firefighters.

pendell
2017-05-02, 12:00 AM
I summon a hydra to eat the firefighters.

I summon a horde of minions to feed themselves to the hydra , gorging it and putting it to sleep.


Xykon and Redcloak did this in one of the bonus comics, but I forget which one.


Tongue-in-cheek,

Brian P.

Simetra Irertne
2017-05-02, 07:19 AM
Mass Ignite Minions! (translation: a summoned fireball with an abnormally large radius)

pendell
2017-05-02, 07:53 AM
Water elemental minions, paired with glass elementals to encase them in armor to protect them from other things that aren't fire. :smallamused:

Tongue-in-cheek,

Brian P.

Drakeburn
2017-05-02, 10:54 PM
I summon an earthquake to destroy the glass elementals and have the water elementals fall through the cracks.

TheManicMonocle
2017-05-03, 01:12 AM
I summon the red cross to aid the people stuck in this earthquake

pendell
2017-05-03, 04:32 PM
I summon a zombie plague amongst the victims, which the Red cross workers catch and spread worldwide through air traffic. Cue zombie apocalypse.

Tongue-in-cheek,

Brian P.

Simetra Irertne
2017-05-04, 07:01 AM
I light the zombies on fire.

pendell
2017-05-04, 08:09 AM
So now people are being chased by flaming zombies instead of just zombies. How does this help?

I summon a mutation which renders the zombies immune to fire.

Tongue-in-cheek,

Brian P.

Syldar
2017-05-04, 08:15 AM
I summon a worldwide casting of "Undeath to Death."

Ann P. C.
2017-05-04, 12:14 PM
I summon a hicup in your summoning.

Asmodean_
2017-05-04, 12:43 PM
I summon a glass of water, drunk from the far side of the glass.
http://picayune.uclick.com/comics/ch/1989/ch890419.gif

Drakeburn
2017-05-04, 11:41 PM
I summon a boulder to crush the glass of water.

Simetra Irertne
2017-05-05, 07:45 PM
I vaporize the boulder with a high-powered fire.

Xihirli
2017-05-05, 09:21 PM
I fight the fire with even more fire.

ericgrau
2017-05-07, 07:18 PM
I summon even more fire than that.

Simetra Irertne
2017-05-08, 07:01 AM
I dump a giant glass of water to put out the fire. Then, just to prove my dominance, I light it on fire again.

pendell
2017-05-08, 07:49 AM
I summon a neutron star in the last stages. It collapses into a black hole, taking the fire with it. All the fire and all the glasses of water in the universe will be sucked in, never to be seen again.

Tongue-in-cheek,

Brian P.

Ann P. C.
2017-05-08, 07:57 AM
I summon the directors of the movie Interstellar, explaining us that inside a black hole is a childs room.

Simetra Irertne
2017-05-08, 09:56 AM
I light the child's room on fire. Then, in a fit of spontaneous cruel malevolence, I light the child on fire as well.

ElFi
2017-05-08, 03:07 PM
I summon a seven-day monsoon to put an end to all of this fire nonsense.

pendell
2017-05-08, 04:20 PM
I summon a glass the size of a planet to catch the water from the monsoon.

Tongue-in-cheek,

Brian P.

ericgrau
2017-05-08, 08:47 PM
I summon a glasswing space fighter to shoot the planet sized glass at its weak point and make the whole thing shatter.

Simetra Irertne
2017-05-15, 07:01 AM
I melt the space fighter with a firestorm.

Celticbear
2017-05-15, 08:09 AM
I summon the anti-flame to cause the fire to stop existing.

pendell
2017-05-15, 09:47 AM
I summon actual laws of physics, which both disallow antiflame (what's that) and fire in space (fire without oxygen?)

Tongue-in-cheek,

Brian P.

ben-zayb
2017-05-15, 09:50 AM
I summon lawbreakers who happen to be immune to any negative effects from fire or heat.

Simetra Irertne
2017-05-16, 06:55 AM
I drown them in a gigantic glass of water.
Back to the basics.

Drakeburn
2017-05-16, 12:04 PM
I summon the ice age to freeze the water solid and break the glass.

Celticbear
2017-05-16, 01:10 PM
I summon Trashcan Man (http://stephenking.wikia.com/wiki/Donald_Elbert) who detonates one hundred nuclear bombs causing what remains of the world to go into mutagenic horror.

Bumpty Bumpty Bump!

pendell
2017-05-16, 01:59 PM
I summon one hundred glasses* of water** to contain each of the bombs and the resulting reactions.

This is beginning to feel a lot like rock/scissors/paper, only with glasses of water and setting people on fire.

*Material and density not specified, but assume it is adequate.
** Quite a lot of water actually.

Tongue-in-cheek,

Brian P.

Mister Tom
2017-05-16, 02:30 PM
I summon a large gin and tonic with a wedge of lime, which is definitely better than any number of glasses of water.

TheManicMonocle
2017-05-16, 02:44 PM
I summon a world where glass was never invented

Drakeburn
2017-05-16, 04:56 PM
I summon a giant plastic bubble to trap the world inside of it.

ben-zayb
2017-05-16, 06:00 PM
I summon a heatproof gigantic pointy object

Libro
2017-05-16, 09:13 PM
I summon an energy shield powered by my amazement that we're almost at 50 pages.:smalleek:

Celticbear
2017-05-17, 08:47 AM
I summon a Tolkien size army of orcs that go around your energy shield, slaughter whatever's behind it, and then don fire proof full spandex body suits under their armor.

pendell
2017-05-17, 09:22 AM
I summon a tailored nanovirus targeted against orcs.

Tongue-in-cheek,

Brian P.

Drakeburn
2017-05-17, 10:08 AM
I summon a necromancer to raise the dead orcs as his army of the undead, and send them marching towards wherever they're supposed to go to.

Simetra Irertne
2017-05-17, 11:35 AM
I summon an army of dwarven clerics, all knowledgeable in turn undead and holy flame.

ElFi
2017-05-17, 03:43 PM
I summon a massive anti-magic field, leaving the clerics powerless.

pendell
2017-05-17, 03:59 PM
I summon a massive anti-magic field, leaving the clerics powerless.

I don't have to summon anything. The massive anti magic field also breaks the power animating the undead as well, and they fall down en masse.

I summon a glass of water to sip while watching this spectacle unfold.

Tongue-in-cheek,

Brian P.

Drakeburn
2017-05-17, 05:16 PM
I summon a water elemental into the cup of water, so that it'll cause chaos in the stomach of whoever drinks out of it.

ben-zayb
2017-05-17, 06:21 PM
I summon Spongebob Squarepants.

ericgrau
2017-05-17, 10:03 PM
I summon a pair of scissors large enough to cut spongebob, which is also glassproof, waterproof, fireproof, rockproof and paperproof (just for good measure).

Simetra Irertne
2017-05-18, 06:56 AM
I summon a random encounter. It's a rust monster!

Celticbear
2017-05-18, 08:09 AM
I summon a group of first edition rogues, who snipe the rust monster at a distance.

ben-zayb
2017-05-18, 08:54 AM
I summon a misspeller, turning them into relatively less-threatening First Edition Rouge.

pendell
2017-05-18, 01:00 PM
I summon a misspeller, turning them into relatively less-threatening First Edition Rouge.

I summon autocorrect, and the universe ends.

Tongue-in-cheek,

Brian P.

Simetra Irertne
2017-05-19, 06:57 AM
I summon a unisivere creator.

Celticbear
2017-05-19, 08:14 AM
I summon a flame proof English major that translates "unisivere" into "universe" without that pesky auto-correct.

ben-zayb
2017-05-19, 08:18 AM
I summon non-native English-speaking Ghost in the Shell fans who insist that the "Major" should be Japanese.

pendell
2017-05-19, 08:30 AM
*Puzzled* I am one of those fans. She is Japanese, isn't she? I'd always assumed so. Japanese people come in all sizes and shapes, not just the stereotype. And it's a cybernetic body anyway, so it can look like anything.

Half of section 9 is blonde-haired and blue eyed; I'm guessing that in the world of GOTS there's been so much cultural interchange that Caucasian Japanese are now a thing in their world.

In the real world -- this is the chairman of Sony (https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Howard_Stringer#Sony), who just retired in 2012 .

At any rate, I summon The Laughing Man.

Tongue-in-cheek,

Brian P.

Iceseer
2017-05-22, 06:39 PM
I summon someone to create a new thread. Who is powerful enough to knock out the laughing man.

Celticbear
2017-05-22, 06:47 PM
Your summon is successful. (http://www.giantitp.com/forums/showthread.php?525220-Defeat-the-summon-of-the-poster-above-you-III-revenge-of-the-planeswalkers&p=22021294#post22021294)

Hope it's okay that i toke the liberty of doing this.