Go South, Young Man! [IC]

[♠Spade♠]

http://cdn.obsidianportal.com/assets/163094/charter.jpg

If there's a bad taste in your mouth, it'd be because you've just spent the better part of last week amidst Brevic "nobility". While not one of the over-dressed bastard is worth a damn, at least they're paying you well to go into the Stolen Lands.

It seems as though every single thrice-damned Swordlord is wearing a ten dollar Stetson on a five-cent head. It is the height of stupidity to believe that their plans are in any way deceptive. In theory, their only concern is for you to map out the southern lands and deal with the bandits and creatures who continually prowl around on Rostland's borders. The reality is that Restov wants to challenge the Surtova hold on the throne, and to do that they need an allied kingdom to back their play. For want of an ally, they've decided to create one.

For whatever reason, dealing with these popinjays provides you a grand opportunity.

The Swordlords of Restov, with their abysmally stupid titles, saw fit to haphazardly flank you with four other adventurers, who you'd only just then met. After a short speech (the content of which isn't even worth remembering), they sent you out the gates, with instructions to take the road east and then south to start your exploration at Oleg's Trading Post, about a day's travel into the wilderness.

Your charter, officially, is to effect an organized search of the environs around Oleg's trading post, with a loose set of boundaries. You will be paid for each plot of land you are able to map, with a bonus dispensed for every rogue agent, ruffian, highwayman, bandit, monstrous creature, etc., etc., etc. you kill or capture, in addition to other threats.

With that, you found yourself trudging south with your four erstwhile compatriots until you reached Oleg's Trading Post.


http://www.cowboychurchwestcliffe.org/yahoo_site_admin/assets/images/DSCF0610.6693753_std.JPG

[HappyMerecat]

Eyotok

Eyotok rides Nakka his trustworthy steed with the group of non-Shoanti companions. It was an unusual task for him, he found himself doing, but one he hoped would be good for him. Stability and friendship were things his life had come to lack and he was still in the wilds, more or less.

[PallentisLunam]

Nala sprawls on the bench of her cart, appearing for all the world to be half asleep and totally bored. In truth she is keeping a very careful eye out for anything even remotely suspicious. Despite the fancy words those bumbling fools sent them out here with, the only laws in these parts are lead, gunsmoke, and steel.

Her lawbringer just happens to be stowed under the seat easily within reach. Her walking stick, and thus her 'third law' is propped up next to her. She gives Horus a gentle tap with the reins, just to keep up appearances really he's a smart enough horse to follow the road all on his own.

"Is it just me or is anyone else hoping that this trading post has a half way decent saloon? There's not gonna be much comfort out here besides a stiff drink."

[THEChanger]

Zander sighs, looking up at the open sky. This was far from an ideal solution, but even if he had stayed in Restov, Boss Sharptooth would have found him. This expedition was a godsend. He missed the city already, but there was nothing else for it. Who knows, maybe this trip would be good for him.

Zander looks around at the open plains, and shakes his head. Too much space. It made him uncomfortable.


"Is it just me or is anyone else hoping that this trading post has a half way decent saloon? There's not gonna be much comfort out here besides a stiff drink."

Zander grins, turning to the half-elf. "Oh, honey, amen to that. A good whiskey and a warm meal would sit in my belly well right about now."

He scratches Stephen behind the ears, and the horse snorts. "And maybe some nice hay for you, eh Stephen?"

[digiman619]

I could definitely use a good meal. Meditation only gets you so far.

[Triskavanski]

Doc Shocklock stumbled in after the reset of the group, patting himself on the chest and sides as he made a list in his head. "Phospherous.. sulfer.. fourty-milimeter glass tubes. Hat! That's it, where is my hat! after a few moments his hands move to his head and pull the hat off his head. "Ah right! My head! What am I forgetting?"

[♠Spade♠]

As you traveled, the farmlands of southern Brevoy fall away and the road at your feet was no longer quite so well maintained.

The land itself has that frontier look about it- a mix of scraggly bushes and shocks of grass interspersed amongst hardscrabble, dry soil. The odd tree struggles to maintain life, though in the distance you spot verdant forests. It's hard land, but with work, can become good land.

As you cross into the Stolen Lands, you get the feeling that you are being watched. However, that feeling's source, and to what purpose they do so is a mystery to you. Regardless, you reach Oleg's trading post unmolested near dusk.

Oleg's trading post is a handful of small buildings surrounded by a wooden palisade; the place used to be a border fort before Oleg acquired it. The remote location and distance from the Thorn River have prevented his business from being much of a success, which he's okay with; he only ever wanted to make a living for himself and his wife away from "civilization."

As you enter, you see that the place is mostly empty, save for Oleg (http://i303.photobucket.com/albums/nn133/daemonblight/oleg.png), who you spot working on the roof of one of his buildings, and Svetlana (http://i303.photobucket.com/albums/nn133/daemonblight/Svet.png), who issues forth from a porch with an excited look on her face.


http://thruxus.shadows-angels.com/1Pathfinder/Kingmaker/OlegsTradingPost-2.jpg

For our purposes, the fort is lacking the catapults.

[PallentisLunam]

Pulling Horus to a stop Nala gives a friendly waves. "Hello there!"

Hopping off of her cart, Nala takes her walking stick but leaves her gun for now. "Rooms for five? And a couple of horses?"

[THEChanger]

Zander gave a lazy wave, not getting off Stephen quite yet. "Would you happen to be Oleg? Name's Zander. That's Nala, Eyotok, Thrond, and the funny looking one we call Doc Shockstock. We're...explorers. Commissioned by Restov. I also here there's a bit of a bandit problem here abouts...?"

[digiman619]

Thrond leaped down from the cart, doing a kata to stretch his achy muscles. Indeed, such varmints need extermination, if they meddle in the affairs of such good folk.

[HappyMerecat]

Eyotok

Eyotok nods at the mention at his name and dismounts looking around at the fort.

[♠Spade♠]

"We've more than enough room for you and your horses," Svetlana gushes. "I'm glad you got in today, tomorrow would be too late." Clambering down from the roof, Oleg stalks over to you and adds "The bastards'll be here in the morning to collect their 'tax'." Glowering at the party suspiciously, he asks "Explorers, eh? I don't suppose you'll be explorenating where these bandits that are draining us are laired up, will you?"

[Triskavanski]

"Explodinating? I'll get right on that! Though I still don't know what I'm forgetting. Were do they come in from? Are they flammable?" Shocklock rambles on, having set out a small kit by this time and going through vials. "Ah! Newtonian Glaciate! I need to stock back up on that! Wait no, Bandits? We're about to be taxed by bandits? When did they become mayor? Ah right, Explodination. Well I've got this here.." he pulls back his sleeve showing off a small wooden tube with a tight spring, currently loaded with another piece of very pointy sharp wood. I call it a Translocational Pokeinator. You poke things with it a distance."

[HappyMerecat]

Eyotok

Eyotok looks at Shocklock and rolls his eyes. "Part of our task is to eliminate bandits and bring order to these lands."

[PallentisLunam]

Nala grins impishly, "It's my personal policy to pay all tax collectors in less precious metals." Glancing around Nala makes a suggestion, "Why don't we get everything stowed and then you can tell us about these 'taxmen' and how we can best rid you of them. Maybe if it's still light enough you can give us a lay of the land from the tops of those walls."

[♠Spade♠]

"The bastards first showed up about three months ago, saying if we didn't hand over all the furs and what trade goods we've gotten, they were going to burn the place down and drag of my wife for their own amusements. They've come back twice more, each time more impatient than the last. The first time there were about a dozen of them, led by a cloaked gunman and a woman carrying a pair of hatchets. The bitch nearly cut my hand in two", he says holding up his hand and showing a very nasty scar that has only barely healed. "Then she took Svetlana's wedding band as payment for not cutting it off at the wrist. She hasn't been back since. The second visit was just the gunman leading only a halfdozen, and the third was just him and another four. They're supposed to be back again tomorrow."

Svetlana clears her throat and smiles at you. "That's quite enough heavy talk for right this moment. Now come on in and eat; I've made up a nice stew with warm bread, and there's even a whole bottle of wine the bandits have neglected to steal."

[PallentisLunam]

Nala scowls at the story told by the beleaguered traders. "After tomorrow they won't be troubling anyone ever again."

At Svetlana's offer of food Nala's expression brightens, "That sounds lovely!" she says, but while she is too polite to say it she thinks, Ugh, wine. I hate wine. Not that tonight would be a night for indulging heavily in any event. Hopefully I can get away with refusing but still be nice about it.

[THEChanger]

Zander's grin grew wider as he dismounted. "Stew? Bread? Drink? That sound wonderful. Many thanks, miss." He clapped a hand on Doc's shoulder. "Doc, remember. Explodinating bad guys, explorinating land." As he started guiding Stephen to where the horse could be stabled, he began to take stock of the surrounding buildings. There was time to prepare for those who would come in the morning. At the very least, getting a good position to fire from would be ideal.

[digiman619]

Finishing his kata, Thrond says The food sounds lovely, but no wine for me; I don't indulge in such imperfections.

[HappyMerecat]

Eyotok

Eyotok nods at the description of events and the bandits. He was content to let the conversation lapse for now at Svetlana's request. He nodded and smiled in thanks for the meal

[Triskavanski]

"Heavy? Nothing we were talking about had anything to do with the gravitational pull of the land we are standing in. Though sustenance would be needed, but I too will have only watered down wine. We've got an early day tomorrow if we are to properly explodinate the bandits." he glances to Zander "Exploring?! No one said anything about exploring! Wait.. no, someone did. Was that what I was forgetting? No.. I remember it was something else. "

[♠Spade♠]

Svetlana fetches the dinner, which you gleefully scent long before you sight. A hot stew of wild vegetables and elk meat, boiled potatoes from a small patch outside the rear wall, and bread baked fresh this afternoon. She offers everyone their choice of beer, whiskey, wine, or water to drink as well. After the wonderful meal, Oleg gets right down to business. "How are you going to deal with the bandits in the morning?"

[PallentisLunam]

Nala wolfs down a full plate of food like she hasn't eaten in a week. Swallowing hard she takes a sip of water before answering Olaf, "Give 'em the chance to find a new line of work, which they won't take, and then like I said," she reaches over to her walking stick and reveals about an inch of the blade hidden inside. "We'll pay 'em in less precious metals."

[THEChanger]

"Delicious food, and whiskey? Oleg, you are a lucky man!" Zander polishes off the last of his meal, and gently nurses his drink. The perpetual lazy smile starting to fade. "Aye, fill them with steel and iron, yes. But we should have a better plan than just put the pointy end in the ones trying to take our money." He starts to massage his temples. "Eyotok, Doc, how good are you two at being stealthy like? Could get the three of us on rooftops. Raining hell down on em, while Thrond and Nala tie em up down below. Take positions on the top of the stable, and that bunk over there. Use the carts and tables outside to make things difficult for anybody trying to reach us."

[digiman619]

That works for me; I work better close up.

[PallentisLunam]

Nala smirks and nods, "Just how I like it, too."

[HappyMerecat]

Eyotok

Eyotok smiles. "I can remain unseen against humans easily and deal with them with my bow."

[Triskavanski]

"I've never snuck around anywhere and I'm not going to start now! Maybe later. But certainly not now, not with these bandits about! What we need is a trap. A hole perhaps, with spikes. I'd call it the translocational pokinator. Ah Yes! Cloth. Dirt.. A lattice work of sticks to hold up leaves and dirt and make it look like there is no translocational pokinator where they are about to step into!"

He says, drawing up a small sketch of a spiked pit.

[HappyMerecat]

Eyotok

Eyotok smiles. "A pit trap is not much good against a group and is a lot of work to make and hard to make inconspicuous. Not to mention filling in afterward."

[Triskavanski]

Thats why we also get a very large wheel that spins with colors, swirling in a pattern like so.. The distractonator. And we can fill the pit with their bodies."

[♠Spade♠]

The night passes uneventfully, with the straw beds being a welcome alternative to the many nights sleeping under the stars that you'll most certainly have in your future. Just before sunup you all awaken and get situated. The bandits will arrive soon, but you have plenty of time to take your positions.

The bandits arrive as scheduled, approaching from the south on horseback about an hour after sunrise and swinging out to join the road before approaching the fort. There are three bored looking men led by a fourth who seems far more attentive, and they have two riderless horses with them as well. Seeing Nala standing out in front of the gate, they slow their approach and finally pull up thirty-five feet away from her.


http://il3.picdn.net/shutterstock/videos/10484435/thumb/1.jpg

"Good morning to you" says the leader, who scans the fort warily. This was obviously unexpected, and he doesn't like it.

http://i.imgur.com/ptG1uSP.png



Perception: [roll0]

[PallentisLunam]

"Hi there, chief. And what business do you have at this fine establishment so early in the morning?" Nala calls with a wide slightly vapid smile plastered across her face.

[digiman619]

Thrond readies his gun as he hides on the wall
I took 20 on my Stealth check, so my result is 13 (Armor gave me a -8 ACP)

[HappyMerecat]

Eyotok

Once the riders begin to approach the fort Eyotok sneaks towards the gate to be as close as he can to the bandits.

Stealth [roll0]

[THEChanger]

Zander readies his gun, peering over the edge of the roof, trying to get a bead on whoever looks like the leader.

Readied action to fire if the bandits draw weapons.

Also taking a 20 on Stealth, since we had plenty of time to prepare. That ends with Zander's Stealth being 22.

[Triskavanski]

Doc fiddles with a few potion bottles. He could have made a pit. A big hole! That would have been great! But alas, he didn't have enough time and the others didn't seem to wanna help. For now he waits.

[♠Spade♠]

The man attempts to smile ingratiatingly at Nala, but the effect is ruined by the state of his teeth. "Why we was just here to have some breakfast, we was. Shame about the bugs in the food though." At his second sentence, the men with him immediately perk up.

[PallentisLunam]

Nala raises an eyebrow, "Not that I saw any bugs in the food, but maybe the proprietors could afford better quality supplies if they weren't constantly paying off thugs. Thugs on horses who threaten women and try to slice off men's hands."

Nala snaps her pistol forward aiming it right between the leader's eyes, "That ends today."

[HappyMerecat]

Eyotok

As Nala confronts the bandits, Eyotok rises, enough for them to see him, arrow ready to fly.

[THEChanger]

The runes flare, the powder flashes, the bullet flies through the air. Zander is the first one to strike, arcane energy surging through his rifle as he trains his eye on the bandit's leader. He liked Oleg and Svetlana, and sure as Hells had no reservations about taking these folk down on their behalf. No honor among thieves.



Swift Action, use a point from Zander's Arcane Pool to add a +1 Enhancement bonus to his rifle.

Standard Action, fire at the bandit leader. Near as I can tell, he is roughly 100 ft from Zander, which puts him in Zander's second range increment. I'll be rolling with the -2 because of that.

To Hit - [roll0]
Damage - [roll1]

Move Action - Since the bandits are farther away than I thought they would be, time to dismount from this rooftop. May my Acrobatics be high. If Zander has remaining movement, he'll put himself somewhere behind Nala, where he has a direct line of sight on the bandits.

Acrobatics - [roll2]

[digiman619]

Firing at the leader, Thrond runs down the stairs toward the gate.
I was going to jump, but then I remembered I have -7 to Acrobatics checks due to armor, so I literally cannot jump down without hurting myself.
Attack Roll:
Damage:[roll]1d4

EDIT: Well, my gun jammed. Good thing I wasn't going to bother reloading it anyway.

[PallentisLunam]

Nala jams her cane point first into the ground and draws her blade leaving the sheath standing upright in the dirt road. She then surges forward and lets loosem with both barrels at the leader.

Free: Draw cane sword as part of a movement.
Move: 25 ft closer to the bandits leader. Should be 10 ft away now.
Standard: Fire both barrels of the Double Pistol within the first range inc. so it's a touch attack
Attack roll 1st Barrel: [roll0] Confirmation: [roll1] Damage: [roll2]
Attack roll 2nd Barrel: [roll3] Confirmation: [roll4] Damage: [roll5]

[Triskavanski]

Doc groaned a little. "They should have let me build a pit instead! Blasted fools!" as he began to make his way up to the area around the top of the fort.

[HappyMerecat]

Eyotok

Eyotok slows his breath and lets his arrow fly at the leader.

Bullseye Shot with movement action. Favored enemy human added in.
Attack [roll0]
Damage [roll1]

[♠Spade♠]

The leader never gets the opportunity to respond to Nala as a rifle round accompanied by a sharp crack slams into him. As though that were a signal, all hell breaks loose. Having hit his man, Zander leaps from the rooftop and lands lightly on his feet before moving towards the open gate. Thrond's holdout manages to jam and he makes his way down the ladder. Nala manages to get the leader with both barrels as she advances on him, and Eyotok finishes him off with an arrow. The bandit leader hits the ground without ever realizing a fight had broken out. His men do. practically drawing as one, they quickly fire in sequence, a staccato of booms heralding great pain for Nala. Any satisfaction she feels from the bandit leader's fall is short lived as three lead projectiles slam into her in rapid succession, dropping her unconscious to the ground.


http://i.imgur.com/HlJ893Z.png

[digiman619]

In retrospect, being on the wall was a bad idea, Thrond thought as he rushed toward the action.
I drop the pistol; it's jammed am I don't have the time to fix it right now. I'll pick it up later

[HappyMerecat]

Eyotok

Eyotok stays behind cover as best he can and taking aim and controlling his breath looses an arrow and the next bandit.

Attack[roll0]
Damage [roll1]

[THEChanger]

Zander swears under his breath when he sees Nala fall, and he charges forward. Arcane energy flows through his fingertips into the rifle, and the runes all along the barrel glows an icy blue. Halfway before he gets to Nala, he raises the rifle and fires. Twice. The first trigger pull releases the spell he had cast, a blast of snow and cold that streaks towards one of the bandits - followed quickly by an iron bullet just as cold.

Move 30 ft directly forward, bringing the bandit directly in front of Zander into Close Range for spells.

Using Ranged Spell Combat to cast Snowball and fire the rifle in the same action. Zander is now within the rifle's first range increment, so the rifle shot will hit Touch AC, as does the spell. Both are targeting the bandit directly in front of Zander. If the Snowball manages to kill, the rifle shot goes to the next bandit in line.

Snowball To Hit - [roll0]
Snowball Damage - [roll1]
Rifle To Hit - [roll2]
Rifle Damage - [roll3]

[Triskavanski]

Doc climbs up onto the wall, "Great Scott! They're already dieing! If only we had a pit then my caculations would have predicted a more successful success. Where is that ammoniumiom potasimite?" he asks himself patting himself once more as he fashions together a makeshift bomb, and hurls it out at one of the bandits.

[♠Spade♠]

The bandit closest to Eyotok cries out in pain from the arrow before being flung to the ground by the near hit of Doc's bomb. Dropping their pistols and drawing machetes, the remaining bandits bear down on Thrond. You can see the worry and lack of confidence in their eyes as they swipe half-heartedly at the dwarf, as though they are simply going through the motions.


http://i.imgur.com/yfNdzEz.png

[digiman619]

Thrond effortlessly dodged the brigands' wayward blows Amateurs. Is that really the best you have?, he thought. A roundhouse kick later, he stands ready to parry the remaining brigand's attack.
Standard action: Once again, I can't see the map; but since they attacked me with in melee, I can only assume they're adjacent
Unarmed attack nearest foe [roll0]
Unarmed damage roll [roll1]
I then make a move action to move toward the leader

[THEChanger]

Zander takes a shot at one of the remaining bandits, and then swings over towards Nala.

To Hit - [roll0]

Damage - [roll1]

Anyone who is standing when he shoots is a fine target.

Moving to the square directly to the right of Nala. I stay outside their melee range, so I don't have to worry about attacks of opportunity.

[HappyMerecat]

Eyotok

Eyotok calmly draws another arrow and fires it at a standing bandit with great focus.


Attack [roll0]
Damage [roll1]

[Triskavanski]

Doc points his fist at another bandit, clenching it as a bold flies from his sleeve. "Behold! The Telepokinator!"


Pretty certain that all the bonuses and negitives cancel out. +! higher ground -4 shooting into melee +3 dex)

[roll0] [roll1]

[♠Spade♠]

Another bandit drops to the ground from foot and arrow. The remaining bandit is hit by Zander and doesn't hesitate for a second before turning tail and running back the way he came.


http://i.imgur.com/tsU6dkI.png

Direct link for digiman. (http://i.imgur.com/tsU6dkI.png)

[digiman619]

Thrond blinked, as the sudden retreat caught him off guard. He begins to chase after the coward, but stops after a few seconds; he realizes that the brigand has quite the head start, and dwarves weren't really built for speed in the first place. He the takes a deep breath and turn to his fallen ally.
I take a move action toward the fleeing brigand, but then make another move action so I end up adjacent to Nala

[HappyMerecat]

Eyotok

Eyotok nocks another arrow and fires at the fleeing bandit.

Attack[roll0]
Damage[roll1]

[Triskavanski]

Having missed with the first bolt, The maker saw fit to bless Doc with two arms. So he raised his other arm now and fired the bolt on that arm at the fleeing bandit as well. They couldn't have the enemy leaving so soon!

"Someone with a sword get on a horse and get him! We can't have him alerting anyone else!"


[roll0]
[roll1]

Apply Penalties as needed

[THEChanger]

Zander takes a deep breath, aiming carefully, and his rifle breaks the air, the bullet screaming towards the fleeing bandit.


To Hit - [roll0]
Damage - [roll1]

Within first range increment, so hitting that Touch AC.

[digiman619]

Upon seeing his downed teammate, Thrond whispered "Let Irori perfect this form and bring it back to health"

Upon seeing color return to Nala' cheeks, he responds "Good, you're up. Do you have any rope? These bandits aren't dead and we might want information from them."
I convert one of my spells into cure minor wounds healing [roll0] hit points.

[♠Spade♠]

The final bandit crumples to the ground and Oleg let's out a low whistle. "You folks don't mess around, do you? You put them down right quick." The entire fight lasted less than thirty seconds.

[HappyMerecat]

Eyotok

Eyotok, seeing the last bandit falls, stand up straight and scans the horizon for any observers that might be there.

Perception [roll0]

[THEChanger]

Zander kneels, putting a hand on Nala's shoulder. "You alright? Took quite a beating just now." He grins at the devastation their little group had caused. This was good work. He was going to like it here.

[PallentisLunam]

Nala gasps as her eyes fly open. She blinks a couple times and glances between the faces gathered around, "How'd we do?"

[Triskavanski]

"Our performance was worse than if we had an automated pitintator with a gravity induction spikinator positioned in the bottom. But all forms of conflict have currently ended. Preparations will need to be underway to prevent additional assaults.

[THEChanger]

Zander rolls his eyes as he helps Nala to her feet. "What Doc is trying to say is we got all of them that showed up today. But there's almost certainly more out there." Zander looks to the four corpses laying on the road. "Well, we probably shouldn't leave them out here. Anyone want to help me...bury them? Is that what we should do?"

[digiman619]

Let me see if they aren't still alive first! Thrond says, the horror of the idea of being buried alive sends a shiver down his spine. Head to the stables and get some rope; we'll want to interrogate anyone I manage to save.

[♠Spade♠]

Going over the bodies, Thrond finds three of the bandits stable but unconscious, including the group's leader. One of the bandits is still in the process of bleeding out. Walking out to the gate, Oleg practically beams at the party. "You've no idea how much I appreciate you doing this. The way they were bleeding us, we couldn't have afforded to stay out here much longer." Once rope is acquired and the bandits secured, the party goes through their belongings and gathers their horses.


Leather Armor (x4)
Dagger
Machete (x3)
Musket
Pistol (x3)
Bullet/powder (x80 shots)
Trail Rations (x8)
Alchemist's Fire (x2)
Silver Amulet
65gp
Horse (x6)

[HappyMerecat]

Eyotok

Eyotok nods to Zander after ignoring the alchemist.

"I am pretty sure more are out there, the question is where is there? I guess there are none close, but only by checking the tracks can we be sure." With that he gets his horse and mounts up.
Nodding at the bodies before riding off he says. "They can wait a bit to be buried. if the vermin take a bite I don't mind."

As he rides off he turns and says, "Don't let them talk, separate them."

Survival to check tracks [roll0] +2 for them being human included
Perception to stop anything that survival does not [roll1] +2 more if what he spots is human

[Triskavanski]

"Ah its a good thing they didn't have enough time to use these flames in a bottle. Burned down half my lab once when I sneezed making them." Doc says holding up bottles of alchemist fire. "I certainly am capable of using these, though I don't have any of your fancy guns either." he takes a few moments to reload his wrist-crossbow

[digiman619]

convinced his patients will pull through, Thrond heads back to the fort to retrieve his jammed piwstol.

[PallentisLunam]

Nala rises stiffly to her feet and does her best to corral, control, and inspect the horseflesh that the party has captured.

[THEChanger]

Their captives stabilized and bound, Zander drags their leader into one of the stables. He takes with him one of the machetes, and a bucket of water. He stabs the machete into the ground next to him, and throws the whole bucket of water into the bandit's face. "Good morning sunshine. Let's have a chat."