Change the item or the player?

[Dousedinoil]

Hey all,

I always love posting on here as everyone has been great with responses. Anyways, I've been running a campaign for about 8 months now and I haven't been harsh with banning equipment and feats. Basically they can buy whatever they want with their gold. I've allowed one of my characters to buy a ring of invisibility as it helps keep up with the rest of the party for damage in combat. However, this has really caused problems out of combat. Not only does he remain invisible the entire game and doesn't role play with the rest of the group but he gets bored and goes off on his own little side adventures. This takes away from the whole group dynamic and makes it less fun for the rest of the group.

The biggest problem occurred last session when he was looting the boss while the rest of the group was helping the prisoners that were held captive. He jacked a book that was a vital plot point and was like "well my character has no interest in saving the world". I can still be creative and work things in without the book but it seems like his character takes away from the overall fun of the group.

I was thinking about nerfing the ring of invisibility but I doubt it stops him from playing gung-ho. I told him if he doesn't want to do the group quest he can make another character that would want to save the world and play with the party.

Am I being to harsh? Has anyone else had this problem?

[Gallowglass]

You are not being too harsh. You are not being harsh enough.

This player is pretty pointedly bored with the game you are running. I am assuming the other players are not bored with the game you are running.

This player is now acting out and most likely making the game less fun for the other players as well as you.

When confronted, this player will bring out the "But I'm playing my character" argument that is the go-to excuse that this player uses to justify their bad behavior. I know this because this player is representative of thousands of other players who do exactly this who have come before him.

You will find a wealth of advice for how to deal with this and how to react to this player and his argument.


"Let him run off on his solo adventures, but stay with the group and just don't do anything with him. If you get done with the rest of the group, then you can do something with him."


"Kill him."


"If he runs off to loot a vault or something, put a monster in the vault. He'll learn to change his behavior"


"You are not challenging him. Give him a challenge that meets his needs/wants as a player and a character."

But its very unlikely that any of those will work. Because this player enjoys being a troublemaker and enjoys the attention and, honestly, enjoys making everyone else as miserable as he is.
In the end there is only one sure way to address the problem.


"But I'm playing my character!"

"No, you are being a ****. Stop it. If you need to make a new character to stop it, then do so. If you feel I'm being unfair then leave."

[Kelb_Panthera]

Gallowglass has the right of it. This is an out of character problem that can only be successfully handled out of character. Explain to the problem player why his behavior is a problem then tell him to knock it off. If you're feeling generous, ask what you can do to improve his experience and garner his involvement with the plot. The way he's using the ring isn't the problem, it's a symptom of the problem.

[Dousedinoil]

All good advice. I think this situation is a bit unique as the "problem player" is just bored because he was the previous GM of the group. The rest of the group loves the adventure and he does to. They like being handed an adventure while he wants it to be a sandbox. I think he's just used to creating his own adventures. This in Itself is kind of frustrating because I'm essentially doing him a solid by giving him a break. I think I'll have to talk to him about being an easier player to deal with. From all the feedback I've gotten, everyone seems to vastly prefer me as GM and maybe he feels threatened? Or maybe misses it? Which is weird because it doesn't seem like he's in any hurry to GM again.

I can't threaten to kick him out. It's at his place, he's normally the DM and honestly I don't think it will come to that. Everyone still has fun but some of the other players get antsy when they are involved and wait a couple hours before they find a fight.

[Crake]

I'm essentially doing him a solid by giving him a break.

As someone who practically full time DM's, let me please tell you: Do not think like this. You are not doing DMs a solid by DMing, unless he has done you countless solids by DMing for you in the past. As a question i suppose, did you tell the players beforehand what kind of game you're going to run? More often than not I run the kind of games that I would want to play in, and I suspect he does too (which I assume based on what you said, he runs sandbox-y adventures where he writes up the content as it comes), so naturally he's going to be disappointed when it's not that kind of game, and hes yearning for a more impactful experience, because as someone who understands the behind the scenes very well, he probably feels like playing in a module leaves him with no real agency, you're just following the plot of the module after all. In cases like that, ignorance is truly bliss, and I share his sentiment there (if I'm correct on how he feels).

Of course, none of that really excuses him, but he might not really be aware how much his actions are upsetting you, or messing with the table, so I suggest just have a talk with him, explain, and he'll likely straighten right up. If he's anything like me, the sirens call of DMing will pull him back soon enough, don't worry.

[frost890]

Another thing you can do to give it a bit more sandbox feel that the player needs is to start giving in game contacts. That way the players that are more open about the party interactions can gain friends. If he is always invisible then the area can not learn of him from the monster battle in the market. Merchants can start giving discounts to the rest of the party. If the wizard has never heard of him why would he even be willing to talk to him much less make him a ???.