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ILM
2016-05-30, 11:12 AM
In an effort to go a little further with my players than "you loot another +3 short sword from the hobgoblin's corpse", I've started to work on item descriptions. I figure that magic weapons (and by extension, equipment) should have some little perculiarities that make them stand out, even if they're not mechanically useful. I'll take any suggestions and in the meantime here's a handful for starters.

1) Emits a low hum audible only to the one who holds it.

2) Appears rusted beyond salvation, but is as solid as new steel

3) Blade is shattered in a dozen fragments, held together in a loose blade-form with magical energies

4) The weapon is invisible beyond its handle/pommel until held in hand; it then becomes fully visible, is somewhat dull, to all onlookers

5) Continually but slowly drips with blood/oil/radiance which evaporates as soon as it hits the ground

6) Pommel is claw-shaped, closes around the wielder's hand when the weapon is drawn

7) The staff appears to be made of embers which continuously smolder; remains cool to the touch

8) Songbirds are inexplicably drawn to the item whenever the wearer is outdoors.

9) Continuously covered with dew, even in the hottest deserts

10) Inscribed with a stylized etching of a dragon; the dragon writhes and prowls around the item slowly

Madbox
2016-05-30, 09:37 PM
11) Is made from an oddly colored metal, such as green steel or purple copper.

12) Is slightly warm to the touch, as if it were recently pressed up against bare skin.

13) Gives off a vibration when the target it last struck dies.

14) Leaps the last few inches to get into the owner's hand when they reach for it, as if their hands were magnetic.

15) Blood spilled on it pools to form odd designs.

Karion
2016-05-31, 01:16 AM
5e's DMG has some lists with minor magical properties of such items, you might wanna check that out. AFB so can't quote page number.

No-Kill Cleric
2016-05-31, 02:07 AM
16) It has points of light in the shape of a constellation that give a faint glow.
17) It feels like liquid is moving in it when you hold it.

Storm_Of_Snow
2016-05-31, 06:44 AM
3) Blade is shattered in a dozen fragments, held together in a loose blade-form with magical energies


As a legendary artefact, yes, definitely. Maybe if new fragments are found, they get added into the blade in the correct place, fusing with the existing pieces as applicable, and increasing the effectiveness of the weapon in some way.

Anyway:

18: The weapon's pommel is in the shape of an animal head, with a clockwork mechanism to make it appear to snarl, growl or whatever the animal does.

19: The handle is covered in leather made from fish skin. The scales do not come off, and the wielder's grip is not affected in any way.

20: The blade is made from Glasssteel.

MrZJunior
2016-05-31, 06:57 AM
21. It feels light as a feather yet it's effectiveness is not harmed.

MrZJunior
2016-05-31, 06:59 AM
22. When not being worn the armor becomes soft and pliable as cloth so it can be folded up for storage.

Fri
2016-05-31, 10:49 AM
23. The armor has a subtle but distinct smell of curry that won't go away no matter how much you scrub it and no matter what concoction you use to wash it. It won't make the wearer easier to track or distract him, but when people are not distracted by being chasen by ogres or walking a tightrope, they'll always say, "hey, don't you smell some curry?"

The_Tentacle
2016-05-31, 11:32 AM
24) Some kind of barely audible whispers, whether to just the wielder or to everyone nearby.

25) When you stare at the blade for long enough, the edges of your vision begin to go black and the blade appears to grow in size.

26) It appears as if a dim light is shining on (not from) the blade at all times - this has no effect on stealth.

27) The blade appears to be made of fluid that flows inside a kind of impenetrable barrier.

28) Any blood that flows from wounds caused by the blade form into strange patterns on whatever surface they fall on.

29) The blade is perfectly reflective and repels any kind of filth or dirtiness.

30) The sound of an angelic choir issues from the blade whenever it is drawn.

31) The blade is etched with thousands of tiny, completely illegible runes.

32) Makes everyone around it feel a slight, barely noticeable chill breeze that stops when you touch any part of the weapon.

Dire Roc
2016-06-01, 01:28 AM
33) A small set of runes count every time the weapon takes a life.
34) A small set of runes count down every time the weapon takes a life, at zero they reset to 255.

35) The gemstones on this crown change to match the color of the wearer's eyes.

36) The wearer of this armor is entitled to a 10% discount from a long defunct merchant organization.

37) The sword's blade is semi-transparent, everything seen through the blade appears covered in snow and ice.

38)The wearer of this clasp can understand the language of pangolins.

39) The symbols of an entire pantheon float up and down the haft of this weapon.

40) The accents of anyone speaking to the wearer of this helmet are absurdly exaggerated.

41) This armor has no scent of its own and can never gain one, this has now effect on the wearer.

42) Upon being cleaned or sharpened, the weapon telepathically thanks its wielder with a prerecorded message.

43) When swung slowly this staff whistles a popular folk tune.

RyumaruMG
2016-06-01, 01:32 AM
44) The armor whispers the names of its previous owners to whomever picks it up.

45) The blade of the weapon sometimes shows the reflection of the person it is destined to kill. (Unnerving if it's the owner's, for sure...)

goto124
2016-06-01, 05:26 AM
40) The accents of anyone speaking to the wearer of this helmet are absurdly exaggerated.

I want this item - great fun for the GM! :smallbiggrin:

spineyrequiem
2016-06-01, 09:45 AM
One from my last game

46) This cloak constantly mutters unintelligibly to its wearer, slowly driving them insane. Taking it off requires a strength check. (I called it Mr Whisper and started asking it for tactical advice)

JoeJ
2016-06-01, 12:01 PM
42) Upon being cleaned or sharpened, the weapon telepathically thanks its wielder with a prerecorded message.

"Success! You have successfully cleaned this sword."

Trekkin
2016-06-01, 04:14 PM
47) (Weapons only) Blade turns the favorite color of the last person killed with it.

GnomishPride
2016-06-01, 06:20 PM
48: The pommel is stylized as a dragon's head, while the blade resembles the dragon's breath weapon (as appropriate for the type of dragon). The breath weapon appears to shift and change (ex. red dragon's fire would flicker as a flame, white dragon's cold would appear as a swirling cloud of snowflakes).
Idea: The type of dragon changes every day/hour/time drawn/etc.
Idea: The type of dragon could be tied to alignment (ex. gold dragon is also a holy weapon).

Vizzerdrix
2016-06-01, 06:37 PM
49. The scabbard of this sword makes a gagging sound when the weapon is sheathed, or a wretching sound when the blade is drawn.

Madbox
2016-06-02, 02:03 AM
23. The armor has a subtle but distinct smell of curry that won't go away no matter how much you scrub it and no matter what concoction you use to wash it. It won't make the wearer easier to track or distract him, but when people are not distracted by being chasen by ogres or walking a tightrope, they'll always say, "hey, don't you smell some curry?"
That's not magic, that was just near the kitchen when someone made curry!

Last time I made curry, not exaggerating, my apartment smelled like curry for the next 3 days.

hymer
2016-06-02, 03:21 AM
That's not magic, that was just near the kitchen when someone made curry!

Last time I made curry, not exaggerating, my apartment smelled like curry for the next 3 days.

I know the feeling. I often make a simple chicken+rice thing, and it obviously needs a little curry. People comment on it visiting the next day.

50: Small birds are attracted to the sword's owner, and will sit on them and chirp happily if not scared away.

goto124
2016-06-02, 03:29 AM
49. The scabbard of this sword makes a gagging sound when the weapon is sheathed, or a wretching sound when the blade is drawn.

Oglaf has a better idea :smallbiggrin:

sengmeng
2016-06-02, 11:48 AM
45) The blade of the weapon sometimes shows the reflection of the person it is destined to kill. (Unnerving if it's the owner's, for sure...)
Unnerving? Looking at the blade and seeing your own reflection is normal.

51. The weapon casts no shadow.

Lord Torath
2016-06-02, 02:23 PM
52. The gems embedded in the hilt glow whenever you swing/jab with it.

53. The hilt thrums in your hand whenever you hold it (either pleasantly or unpleasantly as you prefer).

Vizzerdrix
2016-06-02, 05:08 PM
54. The weapon looks to be made out of coins welded together. If the weapo is ever sundered, it burstd into 1D100 random coins. If the weapon is ever used to kill a dragon, it imediately bursts into 1D100 hoard scarab swarms that imediately attack the dragons killer before dispersing.

GnomishPride
2016-06-02, 09:00 PM
54?: The whole weapon/armor/whatever appears as a fine mesh of tiny insect shells, compacted into the form of the object. Whenever the object is removed/not in use, the shells turn into a swarm of beetles that fly away. Whenever the object is needed, the beetles recollect into the object (time for drawing/donning not adjusted, as the larger armors require more beetles to gather & such). It also emits a barely audible buzzing noise.

Fri
2016-06-03, 10:27 AM
That's not magic, that was just near the kitchen when someone made curry!

Last time I made curry, not exaggerating, my apartment smelled like curry for the next 3 days.

Coincidentally, the ritual to enchant the armor involves making a pot of curry nearby.

NRSASD
2016-06-03, 10:43 AM
55. The hilt is a little too long and is shaped rather strangely. Not enough to impair its function, but just enough to create a sense of unease that this blade was not meant to be wielded by human hands.

56. The blade feels unnaturally cold at all times. When thrust into someone, the blade becomes warm briefly.

57. The armor constantly reassures the wearer, filling them with the relief a young child feels when their parents promise to protect them.

sengmeng
2016-06-03, 11:08 AM
58. Everything about the weapon's balance seems off, but it functions normally.

59. The hilt is a chain that becomes rigid when it needs to be wielded.

60. The crosspiece has an ivory cameo (carved relief portrait in profile) that changes from a person to a werewolf on full moons.

61. A dagger with large crossguards shaped like bat wings and the Returning quality. When it comes back to the wielder, the wings flap.

62. The blade appears two dimensional.

63. The haft of a spear has bark and leaves, appearing to be a living sapling.

Sam113097
2016-06-05, 12:02 AM
64. The spear appears to be made of a single carved bone, and absorbs the spilled blood of any creature it wounds.

65. The blade can be reduced to just the hilt by clicking a button on the pommel.

66. This magic armor takes the form of a triangular medallion with a strange design, about 3 inches on each side. When a person picks it up, the medallion embeds itself into the person's chest. The owner of the medallion can expand the medallion into a suit of armor at will. It cannot be removed without a certain spell.

67. The helmet completely covers the eyes of the wearer, but the wearer can sense the locations of everything within their normal range of sight, and detect the vital signs of others. The helmet is red and has 2 small horns on the front.

ILM
2016-06-09, 10:15 AM
68. Strange tattoos appear on your forearm(s) when holding the weapon

69. The edge of this weapon's blade appears normal, but anything cut with is appears to have been corroded rather than cut.

70. Parts of this item are transparent. When held to the light just right, faint winding wisps of color appear in the material, slowly shifting under the viewer's gaze.

71. Holding the item briefly incites a feeling of rage/grief/joy/etc. in its user. The moment is fleeting and not powerful enough to distract, yet noticeable.

72. The item seems carved from a single block of ice, but otherwise has all the properties of its normal material.

73. There is a strange symbol featured prominently on the item. It looks like a holy symbol, but not one that anyone recognizes.

74. Anything touched by the weapon is momentarily drained of color in a small radius (say, a hand's breadth). Color gradually bleeds back in as normal when contact is broken. The sheath is ornate and studded with jewels, all in a dull monochrome. It is impossible to know if it has always been that way or if prolonged contact with the weapon permanently deprived it of its original color.

Lord Torath
2016-06-13, 10:48 PM
Okay, now for a variant. I've got a sword+1,+4 vs Bugs. What are your suggestions for mechanically useless but cool things for a bug-slaying sword? (Bugs in this case means giant versions of insects or arthropods. Also centipedes, millipedes, sofuligoids, you get the idea.)

GnomishPride
2016-06-13, 11:38 PM
75: The blade is mildly pliable, remarkably flat, and pitted with small holes in a grid formation. The hilt is long and thin, resembling more a spear haft than a sword hilt.

76: The hilt of this blade is a small cylinder. When a button is pressed on the top of the cylinder, a fine mist sprays out, condensing into the blade.

hymer
2016-06-14, 10:26 AM
Okay, now for a variant. I've got a sword+1,+4 vs Bugs. What are your suggestions for mechanically useless but cool things for a bug-slaying sword? (Bugs in this case means giant versions of insects or arthropods. Also centipedes, millipedes, sofuligoids, you get the idea.)

Insects, bugs, beetles, etc. that touch the sword go into death throes and then die. If the sword touches the ground, creepy crawlies within a foot will start coming out of hiding and flee.

Fri
2016-06-14, 11:03 AM
The sword smells of crysanthemum or lavender.

Bohandas
2017-03-21, 01:24 PM
Okay, now for a variant. I've got a sword+1,+4 vs Bugs. What are your suggestions for mechanically useless but cool things for a bug-slaying sword? (Bugs in this case means giant versions of insects or arthropods. Also centipedes, millipedes, sofuligoids, you get the idea.)

The opposite end has a magnifyig glass attached

Rockphed
2017-03-21, 02:21 PM
Okay, now for a variant. I've got a sword+1,+4 vs Bugs. What are your suggestions for mechanically useless but cool things for a bug-slaying sword? (Bugs in this case means giant versions of insects or arthropods. Also centipedes, millipedes, sofuligoids, you get the idea.)

Lets see:

* Shaped like a mantis's claw or bee's sting
or
* The hilt is shaped like a frog with the blade being a tongue

* glows slightly in the presence of bugs. Brighter means either more or bigger bugs.

* Makes a noise when used to kill a bug. Ribbit, buzzing, or chirping all work.

* Emits smoke. If you stabbed it into a bee-hive, it would smoke out the bees. Otherwise just looks cool.

Anderlith
2017-03-21, 03:23 PM
When wielding this weapon your mouth fills with the taste of blood. As you continue to use it, the taste of blood grows, until you find yourself struggling not to retch.

This ancient but polished blade, when drawn shouts the allengance & battlecry to a long forgotten kingdom.

This weapons sheathe turns to smoke or vapor as the weapon is drawn, reforming as the weilder moves to sheathe it.

The weapon appears to be made of stone & when it kills someone, their blood turns to water

This armor looks like human flesh & has tiny fibers on the inside to adhere it to the wearer, yet it can protect like steal. If only the small twitches would stop, sometimes you find your hand or body doing something, or picking something up something you didnt intend

LokiRagnarok
2017-03-22, 02:03 AM
Okay, now for a variant. I've got a sword+1,+4 vs Bugs. What are your suggestions for mechanically useless but cool things for a bug-slaying sword? (Bugs in this case means giant versions of insects or arthropods. Also centipedes, millipedes, sofuligoids, you get the idea.)

Among other effects, the sword repels normal-sized (Tiny?) bugs, such as mosquitoes.

As long as you own the sword, insect remains are cleaned off your body and armor as per the prestidigitation spell. This does not affect breath attacks, but would clean basically insect innards off you, for when you kill Bugs and get insect goo all over you.

The sword makes terrible insect-themed puns whenever it kills a bug. ("Why don't mosquitoes pray to Pelor? Because they are in sects.")

Mr. E
2017-03-22, 02:11 AM
The blade has a hex pattern embossed on the blade.

Small insects flee the area when the blade is drawn. Larger insects feel a vague fear.

The blade is in black and red, or similar colours of large spiders.

The blade has gemstones like spider eyes embedded in the hilt.

Rockphed
2017-03-22, 09:17 AM
Back to general things:

* This spear is shaped like an arrow, complete with giant fletching at the bottom.

* When used to split firewood, this axe always splits the wood perfectly in two.

* The handles on this pair of daggers feel warm if the other dagger is being held.

* This sword has a face engraved in the hilt. It mimics the expression of the owner.

N810
2017-03-22, 12:54 PM
77: The pommel seem like it's missing a sizeable gem, you feel a compulsion to make the weapon whole again.

78: The blade appears dull and tarnished, after slaying a foe, the blade seem to clean itself of blood and become less tarnished.

79: every time you touch the item, you get the uneasy feeling some one is looking over your shoulder.

80: The trident squirms when you grasp it, as it attempts to wiggle out of your grasp like so many eels.

Coventry
2017-03-22, 10:27 PM
Okay, now for a variant. I've got a sword+1,+4 vs Bugs. What are your suggestions for mechanically useless but cool things for a bug-slaying sword? (Bugs in this case means giant versions of insects or arthropods. Also centipedes, millipedes, sofuligoids, you get the idea.)

Just after dusk on a cool summer evening, the owner's hind quarters start blinking like a lightning bug.

Velaryon
2017-03-22, 10:39 PM
81. Every time this quarterstaff strikes a living being, a quiet sigh of satisfaction can be heard by the wielder.

82. The blade of this short sword is always damp when drawn, as though it were left in the grass overnight and gathered dew.

83. Whenever you hold this rapier in hand, it changes your voice so that you speak with a French-sounding accent.

84. A single flower grows from the haft of this spear. If plucked, it will regrow in 1d4 days.

85. While wearing this cloak, you are persistently followed by the music of an imposing-sounding march, audible to all in the area.

Anderlith
2017-03-22, 11:38 PM
Lord's Maile
This suit of chainmail was forged by interlocking all the signet rings of the lords pledged to this long dead king.

red_kangaroo
2017-03-23, 03:11 AM
87) Wherever you leave the weapon before going to sleep, you wake up holding it in your hand.

MrZJunior
2017-03-23, 09:39 AM
88) The cascabel on this Cannon is shaped like a wise old man. When attempting to fire the gun the man will come to life and ask you if you are certain you want to fire. It will not go off until you say yes.

89) After firing this cannon a gigantic bolt of lightning with accompanying peal of thunder happen, even on cloudless days.

Barhandar
2017-03-23, 05:37 PM
90. This weapon hums a lullaby if you attempt to sleep with it next to you. The lullaby does not interfere with sleep in any way, whether negative or positive, and can only be heard while falling asleep.

91. A girdle that changes colors based on the emotions of the nearest god.

92. A pair of boots, whose lacing pattern changes every time it is not observed. Does not affect the fit and the changes aren't synchronized between different boots in the pair.

93. A single glove that appears to be woven from several different grasses that do not wilt or wither, remaining green. While touching any plant through the glove, the wielder has plant-like knowledge of nutrients necessary for that specific plant at current time. This effect does not provide any chemical, botanical or agricultural knowledge.

SomeNerd
2017-03-23, 10:44 PM
94. No matter how inured the wielder is to battle, they'll be extremely aware of every bit of bone or flesh this sword cleaves through.

95. Whenever this sword is tossed into the air such that it lands in an empty square, it always lands point-down and, if able, embeds itself into the ground. It can be freely removed, and is not damaged by the process.

96. This shield has a pattern of a great serpent painted onto it, that will writhe and attempt to dodge any blows blocked by the shield. If the serpent is struck, it will drip red oil down the shield's surface.

97. Blood that drips from wounds caused by this weapon will smell of flowers.

98. This blade has a mirror-like shine on its surface... but anyone who has ever wielded it is not reflected by it.

Rockphed
2017-03-24, 12:02 PM
98. This blade has a mirror-like shine on its surface... but anyone who has ever wielded it is not reflected by it.

Their reflection is replaced by that of a person they have killed with it. If somebody commits suicide with the blade and are brought back to life, they might show their own reflection.

Anderlith
2017-03-24, 06:13 PM
When first wielded, this blade/hammer feels lighter than air, but for every foe slain by it it seems to get just a little bit heavier...

Arrows loosed buy this bow sprout flowers once the foe has died, certain flowers for certain races.
Human-Rose
Elf-Dandilion
Dwarf-Onion
Halfling-Petunias
Orcs-Daisies
Goblins-Lilies
Etc

Braininthejar2
2017-03-24, 07:56 PM
* The head of the pick is shaped like an ibis head, and there are hieroglyphs along the handle.

* The weapon's blade is covered in runic inscriptions - when translated, they turn out to be dwarven obscenities aimed at the enemies of the wielder.

* The armor seems metal at first, but is actually made of gorgon hide.

* the bracers are covered with intricate pattern that seems the kind of Celtic knotwork at first, but on closer examination turns out a bit Escheresque - it does weird things to perspective when looked at for too long.

* The leather armor is embossed in decorative patterns, with thin silver wires running inside them - those visibly light up, channeling away harmful energies when the armor's protective abilities are used.

* The dagger seems to be made from a single tooth of something really big.

* The helmet has a small "bag of holding" effect that allows it to fit smoothly regardless of how the wearer's hair is styled.

* The shield is smooth and dark - a ghostly visage of angry face briefly appears as if beneath the surface, when the shield is used to block attacks.

* When not worn, the ring returns to its default size - about an inch too wide for an ordinary human.

* The blade seems to have been ceremonial at some point - the haft is inscribed with what seems to be the names and titles of its former bearers.

* The hilt is cool to the touch - in a way that seems ominous even in the summer heat.

* The inside of the armor is inscribed with a warrior's prayer, intended to be recited as each individual piece is put on.

Velaryon
2017-03-24, 07:56 PM
Pretty sure this is 101, at least if we count Rockphed's addition to #98 as a separate entry.

101. This battleaxe makes the sound of a screaming guitar solo every time it is swung.

Braininthejar2
2017-03-24, 08:02 PM
A coin minted in the year the item was made is embedded in it as decoration - perhaps it was made to commemorate a new ruler's coronation?

http://www.zamek.malbork.pl/uploaded/fck_files/image/obrazkiwydarzenia/2011/Srebra_monetami_inkrustowane/troki1.jpg

Anderlith
2017-03-24, 08:37 PM
The complete holy scripture of Pelor adornes this sword, engraved in Celestial in minute script, & always shines like it is reflecting sunlight

ChrisAsmadi
2017-03-24, 08:45 PM
*Swiss-army knife Thieves Tools, complete with the tiny nail file and the bottle opener (crucial for long heists!).

*Torches that give off coloured or scented smoke.

*Multi-coloured Alchemist's Fire.

Velaryon
2017-03-24, 09:39 PM
Every time an arrow from this bow strikes a target, they catch a strong whiff of roses.

A DM I used to play with years ago (actually the guy who first got me into D&D) used to give out a bow that did this, but it had some other properties as well.

The full item was called the Bow of Bad Luck. When you fired an arrow, it would instantly vanish into thin air. Instead of piercing the target normally, the damage the bow dealt would be caused by a random event of bad luck that happened right then: the target would trip on an exposed root and twist their ankle, or a flowerpot sitting in a third floor windowsill overhead would fall out the window and hit them on the head, or something like that. The only clue that anything was amiss would be a strong scent of roses that persisted for a few seconds after the unfortunate "mishap." It was a nifty little item.

Bohandas
2017-03-25, 01:27 AM
Rod of Lordly Might is inscribed with a mystic symbol representing the Outlands

Frost Brand's blade is inscribed with the names of the 31 flavors of ice cream

VoxRationis
2017-03-25, 11:48 AM
When first wielded, this blade/hammer feels lighter than air, but for every foe slain by it it seems to get just a little bit heavier...

Arrows loosed buy this bow sprout flowers once the foe has died, certain flowers for certain races.
Human-Rose
Elf-Dandilion
Dwarf-Onion
Halfling-Petunias
Orcs-Daisies
Goblins-Lilies
Etc

Why is the human a rose and the elf a dandelion? Why are orcs daisies?

Bohandas
2017-03-25, 11:58 AM
And the oonion should be for ogres

usorer
2017-03-25, 01:01 PM
These are great resource.

hymer
2017-03-25, 01:17 PM
And the oonion should be for ogres

Cuz ogres stink? Or make you cry? Or if you leave them out in the sun they go all brown and start sprouting little white hairs?

I don't know which number we're at, but since we probably reached 101, I'm not sure I ought to...

A morningstar, whose head gives off light like a torch for one minute for every point of damage dealt. More damage adds to the duration.

Kami2awa
2017-03-25, 06:06 PM
Unnerving? Looking at the blade and seeing your own reflection is normal.

51. The weapon casts no shadow.

Or it's invisible, except for its shadow...

Anderlith
2017-03-25, 08:18 PM
Why is the human a rose and the elf a dandelion? Why are orcs daisies?

No real reason. Thought it would be interesting. Something along the lines of elves being dandilion eaters, i wanted to avoid ugly weeds or plants with orcs, & thought onion sprouts would be inventive for dwarves since they do flower, they are a root vegetable, & it was amusing .

Archpaladin Zousha
2017-03-29, 09:15 PM
112. The dwarf who forged this sword expertly carved several notches and perforations along the blade, carefully tuning it to "sing" by the air passing over it as it's swung, and so it rings clearly and beautifully when it strikes shield or armor.

Barhandar
2017-03-30, 04:26 PM
* This Nordic shield has an insult appear on its inner side whenever the wielder takes a strike on the shield head-on, as opposed to glancing and redirecting it. It's about a third covered in writing.

* If you put this, otherwise completely ordinary, drinking horn to your ear, instead of the pseudo-noises of the sea you will hear sounds of an arbitrary point in the ocean two meters over sea level.

* This metal helmet, if turned upside-down and placed over a fire, always heats evenly and does not heat the rim past 20*C.

* A candle that burns even when upside-down without dripping wax, with the color of the flame being dependent on the angle between candle and vertical. Otherwise extinguished like an ordinary candle.

Celestia
2017-03-31, 03:13 AM
This sword is soft and drooping, like a leather belt. The blade stiffens after being rubbed and can thereafter be used normally until sheathed.

LordCdrMilitant
2017-03-31, 04:48 PM
This silver blade is marked by dull gold runes. If wielded by a paladin or cleric of a good-aligned deity, the runes will glow brightly when she attacks, and fade slowly afterwords over the course of about 30 seconds. They are searingly hot when lit, but otherwise have no effect.

This rifle is made entirely of brass and iron, with spinning cogwork visible through vents in its frame.

This circlet is made of interlaced silver bands. One band, however, is a bundle of braided copper electrical wire with red rubber insulation, it's ends soldered together at the back.

This suit of full plate armor has a black box, about 1" by 2", on its chest. It's current owner will re-live the final fight of its previous owner while she sleeps at night.

hymer
2017-04-01, 05:22 AM
This blade has faint runes etched into it. It spells in dwarvish: "Help, I'm trapped in a weapon smithy."

LokiRagnarok
2017-04-02, 01:09 AM
This bedroll always adjusts its upper part into a pillow which is exactly as fluffy and big as you prefer. (Sleep in the bedroll is no more or less restful than in a usual bedroll).

This armor looks like it is affected by the weather in a far away place X instead of where you are. It may look like the sun shines on it despite the rain over your head, or will look wet during sunny times because it rains in X.

This armor has the same effect as above, but X is always set to your current destination so you know what the weather is like there ahead of time.

When this sword is drawn outside of battle, the wielder sees a random vision of a glorious moment fought with this sword. The criteria for "glorious" adjust to the wielder - a swashbuckler may see a particularly athletic moment, while a paladin may see the victory over a big evil.
On the hilt there is an inscription: "People forget, weapons remember."

Barhandar
2017-04-02, 10:26 AM
* This melee weapon makes unrelated noises (such as birds chirping, wood cracking, etc) instead of the appropriate swoosh when swung. The noises are of same volume as the normal swooshes.

* This composite bow is uncomfortably warm, and slightly damp to the touch. It periodically tenses by itself, the bone parts sometimes have small fractures that quickly heal, giving them a slightly patchwork appearance, and the wood parts have visible sap running through them at appropriate times of year.

* This silver-polished breastplate reflects a modified version of the one looking and nothing else. Damage to the breastplate results in the reflection having appropriately damaged appearance, such as having scars for scratches, bruises for dents, old age for armor losing polish, et cetera.

* This lantern has a handle fit for being gripped by the mouth, instead by the hand.

noob
2017-04-02, 11:25 AM
* This hat somehow always looks like a hat even when when transformed in something else.

thelifeofapanca
2017-04-02, 11:36 AM
Wow great posts thx guys!

Anderlith
2017-04-02, 04:48 PM
The plain unassuming mirror reflects back a better more inspiring version of whoever looks at it. It doesn't show the viewer any grand lies, but they might see their hair better arranged, thier clothes better fitted, their teeth straighter, their posture straighter & their waist slimmer. Many are compelled to be better people after seeing themselves in the mirror

Skelechicken
2017-04-05, 12:48 AM
34) A small set of runes count down every time the weapon takes a life, at zero they reset to 255.


This is diabolical and I love it. My players would be so convinced some Grand Reward was coming when they finally hit zero. For it to just reset... I'm getting ideas :smallamused:

* Every night while the party is asleep or not looking a small row of clay figures appears by the wielder of this sword resembling everything the sword killed the previous day.

* While wielding this weapon, the wielder will sometimes hear their own name in a sharp whisper right behind them. This does not happen at critical junctures in combat scenarios or any scenario where the distraction may prove harmful.

* While wearing this armor people will assume the wearer is better at gambling. There is no reasonable explanation for this belief as the wearer is no more capable of winning at any games of chance than before the armor was donned, but they will be regarded as a force to be reckoned with at any gaming table.

Rockphed
2017-04-05, 09:59 AM
* While wearing this armor people will assume the wearer is better at gambling. There is no reasonable explanation for this belief as the wearer is no more capable of winning at any games of chance than before the armor was donned, but they will be regarded as a force to be reckoned with at any gaming table.

Sounds either really good or really bad for poker.

* This ring of protection from elements has one stone for each element. The last one it protected from glows brighter than the rest.

Anderlith
2017-04-05, 04:44 PM
This armor can be reconfigured into a small but comfortable chair with a small stand attached for taking notes or meals on.

This books rewrites everything written in it by a clear & legible hand

DuctTapeKatar
2017-04-05, 05:17 PM
* These lockpicks moan sexually as they are used -- just quietly enough to irritate the user without alarming anyone in the vicinity.

* This wakizashi's blade is mottled black-on-red, with glowing yellow particles running between the onyx blotches. Its sheath is decorated as such.

* This gargantuan mace says "bonk" whenever it strikes a person's head. Does not matter how hard or softly.

* This saddle greets whatever backside is placed upon it with small vibrations for a couple of seconds. Perfect for practical jokes.

* A disembodied hand is attached to the end of this quarterstaff. It seems to be alive, albeit still being a floppy, disembodied hand that does not reply to any orders, spells, or anything trying to get it to move.

* This bag of holding always spits out a snicker's bar along with whatever is drawn from it once per day. Not that filling, though.

* This pair of embarrassingly tight, black leather pants follows its owner no matter where they go, bounding down with the sole purpose of being worn. Whoever kills the owner inherits this pair of pants, which will always fit.

* This pair of black gloves make cartoon "pows!" and "whams!" whenever they are used to punch someone.

* This helmet forces whoever wears it to make a poorly done Batman impression, making it incredibly clear who is behind the visor.

* This vest says "Oh, yeah..." whenever it is taken off accompanied by deep bass and sexy music.

SomeNerd
2017-04-05, 07:17 PM
* This article of clothing is entirely impossible to describe; descriptions will be along the lines of "it's kinda floppy... scarf-ish... thing" or "the color? i think it was... like... a reddish-cyan?". These properties do not apply to the wearer.

* As this crossbow fires bolts, it carves its target's name into them. It uses it's wielder's knowledge to carve this name, which is not guaranteed to be correct.

* This bag of holding makes a loud slurping noise whenever something is put into it, followed by a lip-smacking noise and an 'ahhh'. It additionally makes a vomiting noise when objects are taken out of it.

* People who see this scabbard will be absolutely convinced that it is, in fact, a sheath.

* Tapping on this tower shield twice in succession will cause it to say "Who's there?".

Anderlith
2017-04-05, 11:20 PM
This weapon has a brass hand instead of hilt or guard when wielded the hand animates to clasps the wielder. The wielder suffers no penalty for an awkward grip. When sheathed or stored it offers a heartfelt "Well Done" in a proper English accent.

walfulninja
2017-04-06, 10:50 AM
*This sword tastes vaguely of strawberries

*This sword plays a long, random piano note whenever it is swung

Braininthejar2
2017-04-07, 08:26 AM
The haft of this halberd is covered with bands of metal and runic inscriptions - it seems to be a used-up and repurposed wizard's staff.

This snakeskin belt is made from a whole taxidermied snake, with metal fangs serving as a locking mechanism (press both eye gems at the same time to unlock)

Concrete
2017-04-07, 07:03 PM
This bag of holding s made from a preserved snake's head, and any small rodent put into it will be lost forever.

This short spear looks almost exactly like a musket with an affixed bayonet, but on closer inspection, the gun is actually painted wood, as if it's creator had studied a musket, but didn't understand its function.

Barhandar
2017-04-09, 01:28 AM
* This blindfold, when worn, makes the wearer perceive the night-sky's twinkling stars instead of the inner surface of the blindfold (closing the eyes works to stop it), as if all obstacles but atmospheric turbulence between the wearer and the stars have vanished - looking down will make them see the stars that are currently in the nadir.
** The sky need not match their current world's.

* This otherwise completely ordinary weapon looks like a hole in spacetime showing starry sky. Stars are different depending on what angle you look from, but they're entirely unfamiliar.

* This wooden cudgel, if buried in the ground for a year, will grow into a willow tree sapling.

Hazrond
2017-04-10, 12:40 AM
95. Whenever this sword is tossed into the air such that it lands in an empty square, it always lands point-down and, if able, embeds itself into the ground. It can be freely removed, and is not damaged by the process.

I'd make a ton of these just for the animemes. They'd also make a good bombardment weapon since theyy always land face down. :smalltongue:

Barhandar
2017-04-10, 01:19 AM
I'd make a ton of these just for the animemes. They'd also make a good bombardment weapon since theyy always land face down. :smalltongue:

They only land point-down in empty squares, i.e. not on top of the enemy. They're bad bombardment weapon, but pretty good terror weapon.

Braininthejar2
2017-04-10, 05:24 AM
* This club is made from a smooth round stone attached to a human femur - it isn't nearly as brittle as it looks.

* This spear is a single piece of polished hardwood, covered in gruesome carvings that glow faint green when brandished at the enemy.

* This scimitar is made of wood, with the edge lined with shark teeth. They slowly grow back if chipped.

* This magical sap is a bag of coins - the coins are varied, and some of them depict kings that are clearly not human.

Rerem115
2017-04-12, 06:57 PM
*When the command word is spoken, the object will recite loudly, in Common, the wielder's full name and all nicknames.

*This suit of armor can only be described as "holy"; it has holy symbols from every religion you know, and quite a few you don't, inscribed all over it, inside and out.

*This shield is covered with a strange grid. While it functions as a normal shield while wielded, when placed on the ground, it turns into a square gaming table, complete with legs and translucent tokens.

Milodiah
2017-04-15, 12:27 PM
*Whenever the weapon is brandished at someone pleading for their life, the wielder hears a commanding voice in his head pass judgement upon the target. It does not explain why the target deserves to live or die, nor does it magically compel the wielder to abide by its decision.

**A small number of stinging insects frequently crawl across the surface of this bag; they sometimes, but not always, sting people other than the owner who are rummaging through the bag.

***A small handbell whose pitch and tone somehow seem to convey the current emotional state of anyone who rings it.

****Several coin sized crystals which all glow with a faint amber light whenever one of them is being moved. If more than one is moving, their light shines proportionally brighter.

*****A portrait sized piece of artistic canvas, with elaborate runes in gold leaf enlaid across the edges. If laid upon someone's face and pressed down methodically, it creates a well-drawn charcoal sketch of their likeness, which fades over time if it is removed from their presence.

Velaryon
2017-04-15, 03:27 PM
*This magical bag, which is lined inside and out with fur, seems to breathe gently while it's open. When it's first opened up, it coughs once or twice before resuming its slow and steady breathing.

**This breastplate looks normal until it's worn. Once you put it on, it turns itself and the wearer's entire torso (but not the rest of their body) invisible.

***This staff has a small ornament on top that looks like a weather vane, but it does not respond to the wind. Instead, it seems to turn (or not) of its own accord, with no discernible cause.

****This bow is made of glass, but otherwise acts like it's made from a normal wood (bends when drawn, etc.).

*****This sword has runes engraved on the blade in an ancient, near-forgotten language. However, every time the blade is drawn, the runes will be different. Anyone who can read it will discover that all the different writings are lines from an ancient epic saga, seemingly chosen at random - the lines and verses are not sequential, nor are they typically relevant to the wielder's current situation.

...actually, I really like that last one. I might use it someday myself.

Bohandas
2017-04-15, 07:28 PM
A small portion of the item is invisible in such a way as to spell out the name of the person who enchanted it, as if the words had been etched into of the item, except no material has actually been removed, just made invisible

Concrete
2017-04-16, 02:18 PM
This heavy black tower shield depicts a stylized face with a large, square-toothed open maw and blankly staring white eyes.
The more humanoids the wearer kills, the more tiny stylized humanoids appear in the maw, drawn in white, seemingly trying desperately to claw their way out. Other humanoids are seen in the image, drawn in red, seemingly suffering the same fate. One of them looks vaguely like the creature you just looted the shield from.
The crudely drawn pastoral scenes on the inside of the shield, however, never change.


These magical sling bullets have an eye etched into them, which seems to close after having hit an enemy.


The pattern of this fine braided sling depicts a stylized moon in moonlight, and a sun in sunlight, looking completely plain in any other light.


This bucket helm appears to have been made from a bronze bell, inscribed with holy symbols. If the padding is removed, it still rings quite clearly.

Jay R
2017-04-16, 05:15 PM
A chest containing four balls, each one strapped down.

1. A bright red one about the size of a soccer ball does nothing special, but seems to travel pretty far when thrown or hit.
2 & 3. Two identical jet black balls, slightly smaller than the red one. If released, they will rocket around, trying to knock the PCs down.
4. A bright gold one about the size of a large walnut, which has little fluttering silver wings. It's very hard to catch because it's so fast and difficult to see. The two black balls will not stop moving until this one is caught.

Bohandas
2017-07-10, 02:51 AM
Blade of greatsword is engraved with dwarvish runes reading "this end toward enemy"

TheYell
2017-07-10, 08:58 AM
An ahlspeiss of Elysian bronze with an ironwood haft.

A round mithril shield with a beast rampant crest. It changes beast with the lunar cycle.

Jade lamellar armor with each tile inscribed with a different ideograph. Exposed to moonlight, the ideographs glow like polished silver.

Full plate armor of cheap leather scraps. When worn, it radiates a uranium-green mist that protects like steel.

A complete set of living steel panware

A wok

An iron helm in the shape of a camel's head

A batik patterned neck cloth with symbols denoting virility and masculinity

A bottle of orc musk cologne

Human leather boots

An orc tusk carved into a demon

A clay whistle in the shape of a goblin's head

Eight ornate mithril sporks in a matching pattern

A wooden bowl and spoon with a charioteer logo carved on them

A lidded ceramic jug with the word "Sugar" in Abyssal

A drum made of elf-skin

An ornate gold ring with the emblem of a secret society

A coffee set of cold iron wrought in an alien and unearthly geometry

A leather helm with faceted "bug eye" goggles

A toy sword

A plush hobgoblin

Ironwood chopsticks in a lacquer case

A bronze comb

Plans for a quadruple watermill stamped "TOP SECRET" in Undercommon

An opaque ball with a floating d20 in it, roll to read the number that floats to the top

A conch shell that shouts "Walkers Got It Coming" in Aklo when you blow on it.

Kami2awa
2017-07-19, 03:01 AM
The weapon really does go "tzing!!!" when drawn.

Lvl 2 Expert
2017-07-19, 03:43 AM
Gives +2 to the cooking skill when used to chop the vegetables.

Good roleplayers will be thorn trying to ditch the weapon as better options become available, because they know how much their characters like it.

In a similar vein:

Can be used as a dowsing rod to find cute little forest animals.

Gives the cleanest shave, no 5 o'clock shadow until at least 5 o'clock the next day.

Is really good with kids. (Nope, no idea how that one works.)

Let's anyone use the craft (brewing) skill as if trained at 1 skill rank.

Rockphed
2017-07-19, 09:28 AM
Gives +2 to the cooking skill when used to chop the vegetables.

Good roleplayers will be thorn trying to ditch the weapon as better options become available, because they know how much their characters like it.

On a dagger or small sword, this could be fun and interesting. But on a mace it would be just hilarious.

goto124
2017-07-19, 09:29 AM
It's a +1 Mace of The Messiest Fruit Juicing Ever.

N810
2017-07-19, 09:55 AM
+2 maul of melon smashing ?

hymer
2017-07-19, 10:42 AM
Good roleplayers will be thorn trying to ditch the weapon as better options become available, because they know how much their characters like it.

Just because you find a knife that cuts bread better doesn't mean you throw out your best filet knife.

goto124
2017-07-19, 10:43 AM
Note that it gives cooking skill only when cutting vegetables.

Does a tomato count as a fruit or vegetable? Considering the context, probably vegetable, but heh...

Thisguy_
2017-07-21, 03:39 AM
This dark violet blade feels slick to the touch and is always a little cold. This is even true of the hilt, which, upon visual inspection, appears to be wrapped in cloth.

This weapon also works as a tuning fork, despite being entirely the wrong shape for it. If you bang it on a rock or other hard enough surface, it yields a specific tone.

This weapon whistles when swung, usually twice, loudly and in quick succession, as if trying to call attention to itself.

This weapon, for all intents and purposes, looks like it used to be a toy (although it is now very clearly dangerous).

This suit of armor, while not in any other way inferior to others of its ilk, looks simply unimposing.

This weapon is difficult to draw from its scabbard. Although this makes no difference when your life is on the line, unless you're pulling fairly hard, it's bound to give you trouble.

Spore
2017-07-21, 12:11 PM
This item seems to be able to attract any and all woodlands creatures, birds and other pleasant critters. None of these are actually able to understand you nor does the necklace enhance their intelligence in any way. The selection of the critters is random and at your DM's discretion. None of these are harmful or would attack you. It's just weird that it does.

SomeNerd
2017-07-21, 12:47 PM
This sword has a living eye built into the crossguard.

This weapon seems to be made of crystallized honey. Licking it produces a honey flavor, but does not deplete the weapon or provide nutrition.

A set of "metal" armor that is actually made with plates of extremely thick leather stapled together by poor quality iron rings. Otherwise identical to its metallic counterpart.

A dagger or short-sword made form an extremely large fang (DC 20 Knowledge: History tells you its a dinosaur fang, DC 20 Knowledge: Religion tells you that the dinosaur had an early version of vampirism). The dagger will drink blood that spills upon it, which will then drip out onto the hilt.

A pair of gloves with only three fingers and a thumb. They can be worn normally and cause the appearance of only having the mentioned digits, but do not impede dexterity in any way.

A cursed boomerang that causes whoever owns it to speak in an Australian accent. (For sillier campaigns)

A halfling battle-spoon; same stats as a dagger, but shaped generally like a spoon. DC 5 spot check to realize that it's a weapon when not in active use.

A coin that always lands on heads, but only when someone who doesn't know about the enchantment calls it in mid-air.

A backpack that randomizes the flavor and color of anything put inside. Flavors are always approximately as palatable and colors approximately as bright as the original.

A candlestick that slowly rotates when a lit candle is inside it, causing the wax to melt evenly.

VoxRationis
2017-07-21, 02:53 PM
This item seems to be able to attract any and all woodlands creatures, birds and other pleasant critters. None of these are actually able to understand you nor does the necklace enhance their intelligence in any way. The selection of the critters is random and at your DM's discretion. None of these are harmful or would attack you. It's just weird that it does.

Mechanically useless, eh? Seems like a boon to the fowler.

Jay R
2017-07-21, 03:07 PM
"flavorful and mechanically useless"

A plain vanilla +1 sword.

goto124
2017-07-22, 03:11 AM
The sword, when licked, produces a vanilla flavor.

Wait, that's not what you meant by 'flavorful'?

Dr_Dinosaur
2017-07-22, 09:05 PM
This set of mechanical woodland creatures seems to seek out cool but mechanically useless items that attract woodland creatures

This whip transforms any nonliving fluid (so no blood or oozes) its tip directly touches into a rich cream

A gun, except it has a gun (so an overconolicated double-barrel gun)

goto124
2017-07-23, 04:21 AM
This whip transforms any nonliving fluid (so no blood or oozes) its tip directly touches into a rich cream

The lake is now cream. The ocean is now cream. The Water Dungeon is now Delicious Cream Dungeon.

That's going to be my next campaign and I'm bringing cans of whipped cream!

Dr_Dinosaur
2017-07-23, 07:37 PM
The lake is now cream. The ocean is now cream. The Water Dungeon is now Delicious Cream Dungeon.

That's going to be my next campaign and I'm bringing cans of whipped cream!

That will take a while since it's only the water the tip is in direct contact with

Bohandas
2017-07-24, 01:23 AM
The sword is sentient but lacks intelligent item special abilities and is moronic with nothing useful or intelligent to say; int and wis both 8 or lower cha 10 or lowerm

Vogie
2017-07-24, 11:17 AM
After casting a fire spell that causes an explosion of some type, if the caster is facing the other way, sunglasses magically appear on the caster's face for 1d4 minutes. These glasses provide no mechanical benefit.

This quiver can also hold an umbrella or parasol in an extradimensional space.

The hilt of this rapier has an inscription in an ancient language. Upon a DC20 history or language check, the inscription reads "Stick them with the pointy end".

When firing this crossbow, a distant clap of thunder sounds

This greatsword looks shattered, with what is left of the blade about the length of a dagger, and allowing it to be stored in a very short sheath. When it is drawn, the rest of the fragments of the blade appear, glowing slightly
https://pbs.twimg.com/profile_images/679753435097481216/bijhIFqG_400x400.jpg

Lord Torath
2017-07-25, 08:40 AM
When firing this crossbow, a distant clap of thunder soundsFrom a slay-the-catgirls perspective (Sorry, girls, really!), is it intended that the person firing the crossbow hears this distant thunder sound at the instant the crossbow fires?

My first thought was that this could be a cool way to tell if your friend is in trouble. You left him guarding the camp/refugees/treasure while the rest of the group left to explore/shop/dig a latrine. Suddenly they start hearing thunder from a clear, blue sky, and they know they need to get back ASAP. Then I started imagining how the thunder would sound to the party half-a-mile from the crossbow operator.
I was thinking of having the thunder originate somewhere within 1d4 miles, and then realized that thunder travels at a speed of about 1 mile every 5 seconds (1000 ft/second)1. Which means that if the thunder reaches the firer at the time of firing, it must originate 5-20 seconds before the trigger is pulled.

My sincerest apologies and sympathy to the families and friends of the poor catgirls. :smallfrown:

1 - The speed of sound at Standard Temperature and Pressure is 1,125 ft/s (https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Speed_of_sound). However, there is empirical evidence that the speed of sound in OotS is roughly five times faster than this: page 2, panels 2-3 (http://www.giantitp.com/comics/oots0352.html).

Jay R
2017-07-25, 03:13 PM
One of the minor joys of being a DM is handing out a flavorful but mechanically useless item.
One of the triumphant joys of being a D&D player is figuring out a way to use the intended useless items.
One of the delightful joys of being a DM is watching your players find a use for a useless items.

One DM gave out a bag of useless duplication. You could put anything in it and get a useless duplicate. Duplicated food was inedible; duplicated jewels and coins were obvious fakes; duplicated magic items looked real but didn't work.

I used it to steal another party's magic items, leaving behind the duplicates. They spent a long time trying to re-activate their items, and to investigate what could have made all their magic items inert.

But they never came looking for the thief, because they never suspected that the items were stolen (despite the fact that the bag of useless duplication had been theirs).

Braininthejar2
2017-07-25, 04:45 PM
A dagger or short-sword made form an extremely large fang (DC 20 Knowledge: History tells you its a dinosaur fang, DC 20 Knowledge: Religion tells you that the dinosaur had an early version of vampirism). The dagger will drink blood that spills upon it, which will then drip out onto the hilt.

Depending on the delay between the blood being absorbed and dripping out, this could be very good for gathering rare spell/item components.

goto124
2017-07-26, 04:03 AM
A mustard sword. Comes in Dijon, honey, and whole grain.


duplicated magic items looked real

That's where the mistake was made :smallamused:

Jaxter Gronaldi
2017-07-26, 07:42 AM
The violin, when played, always plays A The Devil Went Down The Georgia, no matter what strings are being plucked or played

Vogie
2017-07-27, 01:24 PM
This fishing rod doesn't actually work as what it looks to be, and provides a negative bonus when attempting to use it for actual fishing. It will, however, be heavily complimented by anyone who sees it.


A mustard sword. Comes in Dijon, honey, and whole grain.

An intelligent bastard sword, which can talk, but will only discuss its issues about being recognized by its father.



From a slay-the-catgirls perspective (Sorry, girls, really!), is it intended that the person firing the crossbow hears this distant thunder sound at the instant the crossbow fires?

My first thought was that this could be a cool way to tell if your friend is in trouble. You left him guarding the camp/refugees/treasure while the rest of the group left to explore/shop/dig a latrine. Suddenly they start hearing thunder from a clear, blue sky, and they know they need to get back ASAP. Then I started imagining how the thunder would sound to the party half-a-mile from the crossbow operator.
I was thinking of having the thunder originate somewhere within 1d4 miles, and then realized that thunder travels at a speed of about 1 mile every 5 seconds (1000 ft/second)1. Which means that if the thunder reaches the firer at the time of firing, it must originate 5-20 seconds before the trigger is pulled.

My sincerest apologies and sympathy to the families and friends of the poor catgirls. :smallfrown:


Who knows? It's magic.

Braininthejar2
2017-07-28, 03:01 PM
A pipe sculpted in the shape of a dragon's head, with smoke coming out of its nostrils.


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=U54GIUfR6Ck

Bohandas
2017-07-29, 06:53 PM
*glows in the presence of humanoids

*seems like it m8ght be intelligent but actually cycles through stock phrases like a pullstring doll

Rockphed
2017-07-30, 01:45 AM
*glows in the presence of humanoids

*seems like it m8ght be intelligent but actually cycles through stock phrases like a pullstring doll

Is it dumber than a box of rocks, or only pretending to be dumber than a box of rocks? (I would have included a link to the spoileriest page of Buck Godot, but it seems to have been removed from the internet.)

sengmeng
2017-07-31, 10:28 AM
Blade of greatsword is engraved with dwarvish runes reading "this end toward enemy"
Lol, a claymore^

Little holes in a sword's blade make weird whistling sounds when swung.

Braininthejar2
2017-08-02, 07:47 AM
The surface of the sword seems slightly melted, forming into screaming faces - one for each person killed with it. It doesn't actually eat souls or anything though, just keeping score.

Braininthejar2
2017-08-02, 07:52 AM
The guard and blade of the rapier is shaped like a head of a swordfish.

Vogie
2017-08-02, 08:47 AM
The guard and blade of the rapier is shaped like a head of a swordfish.

The head of the hammer is shaped like an anvil.

When placed gently on the ground, blade pointing down, this sword balances & stays upright

When dropped or falling, the gravity hammer falls slowly, as though imbued with Feather Fall.

This dagger is shaped from the jawbone of a donkey

Spore
2017-08-02, 08:07 PM
This dagger is shaped from the jawbone of a donkey

After you enchant it with the returning quality it will only return if you shout: "DONKEY!" in Mike Myer's Shrek voice. At the table of course.

Rockphed
2017-08-02, 11:20 PM
Is it dumber than a box of rocks, or only pretending to be dumber than a box of rocks? (I would have included a link to the spoileriest page of Buck Godot, but it seems to have been removed from the internet.)

Hey, I found that link (https://web.archive.org/web/20150428203902/http://www.airshipentertainment.com/buckcomic.php?date=20090609)


After you enchant it with the returning quality it will only return if you shout: "DONKEY!" in Mike Myer's Shrek voice. At the table of course.

Frankly, the jawbone of an ass is probably better statted as either a sword or an axe than a dagger. Probably an axe since those are sometimes designed to be thrown.

Vogie
2017-08-03, 01:50 PM
Frankly, the jawbone of an ass is probably better statted as either a sword or an axe than a dagger. Probably an axe since those are sometimes designed to be thrown.

Meh, it's a Supernatural reference.
https://vignette4.wikia.nocookie.net/supernatural/images/6/6a/DeanMarkofCain.jpg/revision/latest/scale-to-width-down/250?cb=20140602012704

N810
2017-08-03, 03:34 PM
^ That references the story of Samson in the Bible.

King of Nowhere
2017-08-03, 05:03 PM
42) Upon being cleaned or sharpened, the weapon telepathically thanks its wielder with a prerecorded message.



I can see a player hearing the message, believing the weapon is intelligent, and and then undertaking a dozen quests to unlock the "true power>" of the weapon.
I learned it is very dangerous to give the players something that may be mistaken for a subtle clue. unless you are ready to face the results.

Braininthejar2
2017-08-03, 05:53 PM
The helmet is shaped like an anvil. It isn't solid enough to be functional as one. (unless it is, but that's a matter of enchantments, not shape)

The priest necklace is made of woven leather straps, with semiprecious stone beads forming the symbol of the god.

The blade of the axe is sculpted into vicious teeth (which should ruing its effectiveness against armor, but somehow doesn't)

The plate gauntlet is sculpted to look like a face of an angry dwarven ancestor, with the fingers of the gauntlet forming the beard.

DuctTapeKatar
2017-08-03, 05:55 PM
* The sword is completely useless at doing its job, but acts fantastically as an arrow.

* These gauntlets are decorated with icons of lions. The age of the lion determines how much combat experience the lion depicted looks (a recruit foot soldier would have icons of a cub, and fast forward to when they become a warlord that conquered the evil empire, the greaves would have a fully-maned lion).

* This massive fish is inedible, does not rot, and is incredibly heavy. It is treated as a masterwork warhammer in combat, and leaves the stench of fish on whomever it strikes.

Dire Roc
2017-08-04, 04:08 AM
I can see a player hearing the message, believing the weapon is intelligent, and and then undertaking a dozen quests to unlock the "true power>" of the weapon.
I learned it is very dangerous to give the players something that may be mistaken for a subtle clue. unless you are ready to face the results.

Well if a player takes the message that seriously then there is only one thing to do. Write up stats for the weapon's 'true' form and congratulate the player on discovering the secret quest you had totally planned all along.

Vogie
2017-08-04, 08:41 AM
This curved sword is a back-blade, so the cutting edge is on the opposite side than normal.

This Axe's head will occasionally come off and roll away. If so, the handle will begin using vulgar language, muttering curses until the axehead is put back on.


^ That references the story of Samson in the Bible.

Actually Cain, the third human ever, who killed Abel, his brother and the fourth human ever. At least in supernatural, it was "the first blade" and used in tandem with the "mark of Cain".

Although, to be fair, Samson did the same thing a while later.

I do like the concept of a donkey-jaw-axe with Mike Myers' voice.

N810
2017-08-04, 09:04 AM
* ....
* This massive fish is inedible, does not rot, and is incredibly heavy. It is treated as a masterwork warhammer in combat, and leaves the stench of fish on whomever it strikes.

http://rs90.pbsrc.com/albums/k273/johansb/fishSlap1a.gif~c200


ps. oh yea ... I was thinking he totally killed Abel with a rock or something...

Rockphed
2017-08-04, 09:30 AM
ps. oh yea ... I was thinking he totally killed Abel with a rock or something...

Supernatural is allowed to make whatever they want up or use whatever version of the bible they want as a source. Actually, considering that half the show is the brothers dealing with conspiracy theories in the ranks of angels and devils, using obscure apocryphal books as idea mines probably works. I've only seen a few episodes, but my favorite scene was when Hell was under new management and got turned in to waiting in a line.

I will admit that part of why I thought of an axe/sword is that the first weapon made from a donkey jawbone that I think of is the one mentioned in the bible as used by Sampson. I think the typical narrative has him killing about 20 people with it, so I thought a large martial weapon would fit that narrative better than a dagger. I was unaware that supernatural had a dagger made from a donkey jaw.

At any rate:
This iron ration is shaped like a rabbit. If it is placed in a field of grass, it will even twitch its nose and hop around for about a minute. Invariably, the first part of the ration that you try to eat will be the ears.

Kami2awa
2017-08-04, 01:02 PM
When held, you can see through the eyes of the weapon (two jewels on the hilt). Unfortunately that's not much use because the weapon must be in hand to use this ability, though it could be used as a periscope.

Glows in the presence of oxygen.

Glows in the presence of something entirely random, e.g. oranges.

Glows in the presence of enemies, but the detection range is one inch.

Glows in the presence of presents.

Kami2awa
2017-08-06, 02:22 PM
Sorry for double post, but I thought of a few more:

The weapon is a very accurate replica of a legendary weapon, as famous as Excaliber. It was most likely made for a ceremony, or maybe even as a prop in a play (or a film, for modern settings). It works just fine, but might be mistaken for the real thing - and maybe could be used to pull a con trick. Of course, it has no magical properties.

The weapon is attached to a chain and shackle which can be locked onto the wielder's wrist to prevent it being lost or stolen. It is up to the GM if the key is still available.

The weapon includes one or more small tools that fold out of the handle, like a Swiss army knife.

Magic runes light up along the blade when it is drawn. Of course, this is all it does - it has no other magical powers, and the runes may not even mean anything.

The weapon is intelligent - in the literal sense only. It is less an intelligent item and more a stupid item, making it more a hindrance than anything else.

The weapon is engraved with a dedication, such as "To X'Liss on your hatching day! Congratulations on your first human sacrifice."

The maker's mark indicates that the weapon is the work of a legendary smith... when he was an apprentice, so it's not particularly special. It could still be valuable to historians or collectors, however.

sengmeng
2017-08-06, 02:24 PM
This bag of holding is tied onto a stick and dumps all its contents if it is removed.

Cealocanth
2017-08-07, 12:07 AM
This sword makes elated "Aaah" noises whenever it's used to kill someone, and after slaying its foes, it comments that "You have made a simple sword very, very happy."

This sword is having a very interesting time with its first moments of life as a sword.

This staff was hewn from a growing sapling tree. You can still see some of the bark on the outside of it.

This bag is made from dragon skin - no, scratch that - komodo dragon skin.

You're frankly a little afraid of the things this suit of armor would say if steel could talk.

This suit of armor appears to have been hand-forged painstakingly out of the ploughshares of human farmers.

Bohandas
2017-08-08, 05:28 PM
Vestments of a cleric of the god of rogues are made of og kush instead of textile hemp


This suit of armor appears to have been hand-forged painstakingly out of the ploughshares of human farmers.

Surely you mean a sword made out of plowshares