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goto124
2016-06-07, 01:33 AM
(Numbering added by me.)


791) (One from Reddit) Book of misspellings: Cursed item that, when read, lets the DM change one letter of any spell cast by the player for the next 2d4 days for an entirely different effect. Created some hilarious spells. Like sconeskin.

1. Melf's Acid Arrow, now Melf's A Kid Arrow
2. Cause Fear, now Cause Bear
3. Hold Person, now Gold Person


We're gonna need a bigger thread...

4. Magic fissile
5. cone of mold
6. Bigby's brushing hand
7. prismatic stray
8. limited fish
9. antilife smell
10. animate mead
11. spectral band
12. speak with planks
13. nundetection
14. explosive tunes
15. power word blond
16. box's cunning
17. Bill's strength
18. protection from food
19. create foot and water
20. create greeter undead
21. magic circle against Chads




22. Flesh to Stallone
23. Heart of Stallone
24. Sconeskin
25. Greater Magic ***
26. Nerve****ter
27. Beagle's Splendor
28. Meatier Swarm
29. Berning Hands
30. Cone of Old
31. Dancing Knights
32. Misspell Magic
33. Discern Thighs
34. Detect Secret Moors
35. Ethereal Aunt
36. Explosive Rooms
37. Limited Fish
38. Wall of Mice
39. Voresight


40. Cold Person
41. Fold Person
42. Glob of invulnerability
43. Poison Crowd
44. Mage Band
45. Speak with Deaf
46. Remove Purse
47. Gaseous Farm
48. Seal of Bonding (http://puu.sh/pjIWp/a8e4114491.jpg)
49. Barkvision
50. Shocking Gasp

Come on in and add more!

Spore
2016-06-07, 02:36 AM
51. Direball!
52. Holy Ford

Karion
2016-06-07, 03:43 AM
53. Mold Person (aka polymorph)
54. Bold Person
55. Bald Person

Madbox
2016-06-07, 06:13 AM
56. Magic Miss Ill
57. Fire Dolt
58. Mage Ham
59. Eldritch Baste
60. Power Word Stan
61. Aprehend Languages
62. Inflict Winds

TheTeaMustFlow
2016-06-07, 07:45 AM
A few I thought up in an earlier thread (http://www.giantitp.com/forums/showthread.php?479918-Misspelled-spells-)):


Otto's Irresistible Dunce - as Glibness, but only functions on those with a negative Intelligence modifier.
Disguise Melf - Only works on a certain Archmage.
Dominate Munster - a useful way to start taking over Ireland.
Dominate Münster - ditto, but for Germany.
Protection From Poisson - invaluable when facing Aboleth, Kraken, or the dreaded Carp.
Spirit Grauniad - Inflicts poor editing, middle classness and an obsession with London on a failed save.
Prismatic Spay - Ouch. That poor cat...
Geese - Ayup (https://img.buzzfeed.com/buzzfeed-static/static/2014-02/enhanced/webdr07/5/13/enhanced-21058-1391626441-2.jpg).

And a few more:

Meteor Shawarma - Save versus heartburn.
Mordenkainen's Injunction - Like Geas, but more.
Dominate Minster - Good for taking over churches in York, otherwise fairly useless.
Compelled Duet - A favourite of Bards everywhere.
Lightning Marrow - Ouch.
Trap the Seoul - Beloved by Korean supervillains.
Power World Thrill - It's close to midnight and something evil's lurking in the dark... (xIx_HbmRnQY)

Slipperychicken
2016-06-07, 07:52 AM
Tasha's Hideous Slaughter

Reboot
2016-06-07, 08:34 AM
Some more from the worthless items thread:

78) Larkskin
79) Clink
80) Detect Hood
81) Obscuring List
82) Summon Mobster I-IX
83) Tidy Hut
84) Wall of Wire
85) Wall of Irons

Anonymouswizard
2016-06-07, 08:51 AM
Morkanien's Magnificent Man Shen
Lyreball
Arcane Snark

Fayd
2016-06-07, 08:51 AM
73. Miner Image (dubiously useful)
74. Altar Self (A more creative flesh-to-stone?)
75. Mireball (ewwwwww)
76. Create Waiter (no more waiting for someone to take your order!)
77. Band (lots of ways to take this one)
78. Deathwitch (sounds more like a monster than a spell)
79. Dood (Dood!)
80. Remove Bear (exeunt stage left)
81. Control Feather (just one feather)
82. Hard (I guess a stoneskin variant?)
83. Arcane Mart (Always a blue-light special!)
84. Massage (sometimes you just have to relax)
85. Death Knoll (how many gunmen?)
86. Clam Emotions (replicates the emotional spectra of bivalves)
87. Mage Armoire (a two letter change but its still pretty funny, and could be useful for an extradimensional space to store changes of clothes)
88. True Stroke (ensures the accuracy of timepieces)
89. Burning Hinds (conjure many flaming deer?)
90. Shocking Grass (a decent control spell, outside at least)
91. Reduce/Enlarge Persona (subtle psychological manipulation spells perhaps?
92. Touché of Idiocy (even a broken clock is right twice a day)
93. Gust of Wand (send out multiple charges at once?)

PotatoGolem
2016-06-07, 09:14 AM
84. Conjure Fry- never be without a side dish!
85. Conjure Fee- always be able to pay for services!
86. Conjure Fen- being a high level druid means never having to leave your favored terrain

sengmeng
2016-06-07, 01:51 PM
Tenser's Floating D*ck, Greater Magic Wang, Arcane C*ck, Dongstrider, Mate Hand, Guards and Nards.
87. Manor image.
88. Mayor image.
89. Flesh to stove
90. Stork of vengeance
91. Shield otter
92. Flaking sphere
93. Lightning boot
94. Rock to bud.
95. Mud to Rick
96. Wall of farce
97. Wafer breathing
98. Metal to wool
99. Divine rower
100. Sharechange
101. Manic aura

NomGarret
2016-06-08, 02:32 PM
102: Rouge

Pex
2016-06-08, 07:30 PM
103: For 5E Paladins - Find Stud

Slipperychicken
2016-06-09, 11:16 AM
103: For 5E Paladins - Find Stud

I lol'd.

104: Fire Steed
105: Fire Traps
106: Fire Creature
107: Fire Object
108: Fund the Path
109: Fund Creature
110: Fund Steed
111: Fire Familiar
112: Phantom Stud

sengmeng
2016-06-09, 12:23 PM
113. Undelectable Alignment
114. Phantasmal Miller
115. Pail of the Banshee
116. Whimpering Wind
117. Bigby's Forceful Hank
118. Glitterlust

Mister Tom
2016-06-10, 04:39 PM
Durid splle tiem! Some of them quite useful...

119 Beast Bong
Charm Parson
Create Wager
Purify Fool
Steak with Animals
Dork vision
Detect trays
Gust of wine
Locate Pants ( & Pant growth)
Meld into Stove
Contusion
Elemental Bake
Hallucinatory terrine
Geese
Insect Plaque
Find the bath
Reverse Gravy
...137 Control Heather

Beleriphon
2016-06-10, 04:43 PM
103: For 5E Paladins - Find Stud

Only if the paladin is a lonely and looking for a handsome gentlebeing to romance, or the paladin is a carpenter.

Slipperychicken
2016-06-10, 06:47 PM
Only if the paladin is a lonely and looking for a handsome gentlebeing to romance, or the paladin is a carpenter.

He could be making his Rogue some studded leather armor, as a present for going five sessions without sinning.

goto124
2016-06-10, 10:39 PM
He could be making his Rogue some studded leather armor, as a present for going five sessions without sinning.

And then they sin right afterwards, if you know what I mean... :smallamused:

138. Dope Trick. The rope is fake!
139. Create or Destroy Hater. Great for internet arguments, especially when alignments are involved!
140. Control Hater
141. Shape Hater
142. Hatery Sphere

digiman619
2016-06-10, 11:56 PM
Only if the paladin is a lonely and looking for a handsome gentlebeing to romance, or the paladin is a carpenter.

Hmm, a Carpenter paladin... Where have I heard that before... (http://dresdenfiles.wikia.com/wiki/Michael_Carpenter)
(http://dresdenfiles.wikia.com/wiki/Michael_Carpenter)
Oh, and on topic: The bard can make a capoeira tournament break out whenever he wants with a 0-level spell: Dancing Fights.

Altair_the_Vexed
2016-06-11, 07:37 AM
I fnid tihs therad insulating.

Slipperychicken
2016-06-11, 07:42 AM
Oh, and on topic: The bard can make a capoeira tournament break out whenever he wants with a 0-level spell: Dancing Fights.

The necromancer bard can keep his undead horde moving in style with Dancing Wights

The paladin can keep himself and the fighter properly lit during nighttime jousts with his Lancing Lights spell


I fnid tihs therad insulating.

I represent that remark

goto124
2016-06-11, 08:32 AM
146. Viscous Mockery. When you need to insult gelatinous cubes.


The paladin can keep himself and the fighter properly lit during nighttime jousts with his Lancing Lights spell.

http://img04.deviantart.net/7f6b/i/2014/348/4/2/beacon___red_knight_sketches_by_joshcorpuz85-d89vyv7.jpg

SirBellias
2016-06-11, 11:26 AM
147: Yeast Shape: hiding in breweries needs to happen more often.
148: Yeast Sense
149: Thunderwane
150: Chill Pouch
151: Blog Cloud
152: Heroes Beast
153: Magic Thistle
154: Sold Person
155: Cute Wounds
156: Guiding Colt
157: Bending
158: Rending
159: Produce Blame
160: Prismatic Stray
161: Firebill
162: Wind Familiar
163: Fine Familiar
164: Fond Familiar

Slipperychicken
2016-06-11, 11:49 AM
165: Healing World
166: Hearing Word
167: Heeling Word

Pex
2016-06-11, 01:40 PM
168: Fish
169: Power Word Kilt

BlueHerring
2016-06-11, 01:48 PM
170. Power Word Bill. Nye, Gates, or even Mays! It's all up to you!

sengmeng
2016-06-11, 01:53 PM
169: Power Word Kilt

I think that's my favorite so far!

171: Move Garth
172: Bleak Enchantment
173: True Peeing (has no one done that yet?)
174: Shivering Torch

Madbox
2016-06-11, 07:16 PM
170. Power Word Bill. Nye, Gates, or even Mays! It's all up to you!

What about the kind that shows up in the mail every month, and my electricity goes ou if I don't pay?

Coventry
2016-06-11, 08:30 PM
Some from the Tomb of Battle:

175. Ancient Mountain Hummer
176. Avalache of Blakes
177. Ballista Throb
178. Cattle Leader's Charge
179. Flood in the Water
180. Burning Grand
181. Castigating Shrike
181. Charming Minotaur
183. Distracting Member
184. Dragon's Blame
185. Giant Milling Style
186. Shamstring Attack
187. Band of Death
188. Land of Death
189. Shearing the Air
190. Iron Heart Purge
191. Flaw Bearer
192. Leaning Dragon Stance
193. Lion's Roam
194. Marital Spirit
195. Nighty Throw
196. Mithral Cornado
197. One wish Shadow
198. Bouncing Charge
199. Pray on the Weak
200. Quicksolver Motion
201. Ring of Fare
202. Sing of Fire
203. Hoots of the Mountain
204. Shadow Nose
205. Shield Flock
206. Stance of Clarify
207. Sudden Reap
208. Scooping Dragon Strike
209. White Raven Tictacs
210. Zephyr Dunce

Pex
2016-06-12, 01:16 AM
211. Wired
212. Holymorph
213. Dane
214. Protection From Veil
215. Power Word Bland
216. Remove Purse
217. Cure Light Hounds
218. Farm
219. Regenerake
220. Play Living

EccentricCircle
2016-06-12, 09:55 AM
221: Endure Elephants
222: Mordenkainan's Lubrication
223: Alter Shelf
224: Find the Cath

I also heard about a dyslexic monk who became a master of Chai Tea.

RyumaruMG
2016-06-12, 12:06 PM
225: Find Steer

Potentially just as useful, but not great if you need something to chase someone. Plus side, it's a cheaper "Conjure Food and Water" that lets you keep what you conjure!

digiman619
2016-06-12, 03:29 PM
226: Legend Bore: When your history teacher just won't shut up!

sengmeng
2016-06-12, 04:19 PM
227) Funburst
228) Blame Arrow

Rockphed
2016-06-12, 09:50 PM
212. Holymorph

So you turn into an angel for the duration of the spell? Not bad. Not bad at all.


213. Dane

Are we summoning Hamlet, or merely checking if we have found him. Alternatively, is this a spell for holding kingdoms hostage until they pay up tribute? If so, I assume that its primary component is a stack of gold.


214. Protection From Veil

This would have made Jacob's life so much simpler.


216. Remove Purse

For all those times your wizard wants to try being a petty thief.

I'll try to come up with some myself, but I cannot think of any right now.:smallfrown:

Vinyadan
2016-06-13, 02:50 PM
229. King of Fire
230. Mate
231. Gust of Rind
232. Paste
233. Good Nope
234. Mind Trap
235. Mound
236. Passball
237. Churning Hands
238. Farm Animal
239. Protect Image
240. Misread
241. Secret Best
242. Neutralize Poisson
243. Raze
244. Phandom Trap
245. Molar Ray
246. Sunteam
247. Symbol of Inanity
248. Chase Door

Dragonfan
2016-06-14, 08:29 AM
249 Obscuring List
250 Unclean Servant
251 Heather Fall
252 Arcane Mock
253 Praise Monster
254 Illusory Mall
255 Illusory Ball
256 Animate Lead
257 Magic Circle against Awe
258 Mordekainens Faithfull Mound

PersonMan
2016-06-14, 10:31 AM
Psionic abilities!

259 - At Traction (Very limited Contingency that takes effect once you gain traction)
260 - Control Fight
261 - Create Mound
262 - Bloat (I don't feel so good...)
263 - My Fight (Keeps allies from joining you)
264 - Energy Hay (Keep your Nightmare's fires burning hot!)
264 - Psionic Rock (A must-have for every Psion/Bard)

No-Kill Cleric
2016-06-14, 06:37 PM
260) Hair Bubble
261) Seek Alignment (MY HONOR!)
262) Fabricate Bulletins

Dire Roc
2016-06-14, 07:02 PM
263) Beat Metal
264) Peat Metal (And you thought rust monsters were bad)
265) IRON HEART SPLURGE! (A favorite of pricey merchants)
266) Eldritch Fast
267) Fade Ward (the best for clothing!)
268) Magic Loan
269) Magic Phone
270) Lightening Lurk
271) Sword Wurst
272) Shillelag-agh I give up trying to spell it, the stick whacking spell!
273) Seaming
274) Fallow
275) Lance of the Spider
276) Limited Fish

No-Kill Cleric
2016-06-14, 07:04 PM
277) This Direction
278) This Spell Magic
279) Hypnotic Patty
280) Skeet Storm
281) Crying

Pex
2016-06-14, 10:32 PM
282) Summon Muenster
283) Glute
284) Abi Dalzim's Horrid Wilding
285) Disfunction
286) Reserection

Dragonfan
2016-06-16, 08:04 AM
287 Dimensional Clock
288 Dimensional Block
289 Arcane Sigh
290 Bald Undead
291 Gentle Response
292 False Lie
293 Quarkvision
294 Stinking Crowd
295 Eat Metal
296 Forbid Dance
297 Crying Eyes

Vinyadan
2016-06-16, 08:12 AM
287 Dimensional Clock
294 Stinking Crowd
295 Eat Metal
296 Forbid Dance
297 Crying Eyes

These remind me of some concerts.

Pex
2016-06-16, 12:08 PM
298 Irresistible Dunce
299 Clairbeyonce
300 Should
301 Slob
302 Waste
303 Wall of Farce
304 Framestrike
305 Cone of Mold

goto124
2016-06-16, 11:12 PM
306) Overland Fight
307) Overran Flight

Dragonfan
2016-06-17, 01:27 AM
308 Singer of Death
309 Mordekainen's Pirate Sanctum
310 Payer
311 Power Word Fill
312 Protection from Shells
313 Symbol of Rain
314 Sonbeam
315 Trap the Foul
316 Well of Ice
317 Leaves of Fatigue
318 Transmute Metal to Loot
319 Ghost Found
320 Shire Field
321 Shakechange

Rockphed
2016-06-18, 09:26 PM
308 Singer of Death

So it summons a musical banshee?


309 Mordekainen's Pirate Sanctum

Is it full of pirates or is it only usable by pirates?


311 Power Word Fill

All containers within the sound of the speaker's voice are filled with whatever they last contained. It might be able to summon creatures (up to 10 HD per caster level), but is more likely to summon hay, manure, and feed. Can only create 50 pounds of precious material per caster level. If there are more containers that should be filled with precious material, they are instead filled with hay, manure, or feed. Or 10 HD of rats.


313 Symbol of Rain

This third level spell will summon a personal raincloud for every creature who looks upon it and fails the will save. Raincloud dumps a torrential downpour for the duration of the symbol.


316 Well of Ice

Fills any hole below the caster with ice to a volume of 125 ft per caster level (so 1 5 ft cube).


320 Shire Field

One targetted field becomes perfect for growing mushrooms and tobacco. All other crops mysteriously produce either mushrooms or tobacco.

Hooligan
2016-06-18, 10:33 PM
Milf's Acid Arrow
Aids
Antiwife shell - protection against mates
Arcane Mate
Arcane *ock
Arcane Sock
Astral Rejection - you leave your body behind to breakup with a significant other in the astral plane.
Beacon of Dope
Color Spay
Commando
Convulsion
Cone of Cod
Continual Fame

Spore
2016-06-18, 10:53 PM
Lolymorph :smallamused:

Hooligan
2016-06-18, 10:53 PM
Ream
Cream
Earthcake
Fabric
Aerie Fire
False Wife
Feign Debt
Finger of Debt
Fire Dolt
Flame Trike
Fry (feel like this is a duplicate)
Dog Cloud
Forbid Dance
Farcecage
Fartcage
Foreskin
Foreslight
Gaseous Foam
Caseous Form
Gas
Lentil Repose

Hooligan
2016-06-18, 11:16 PM
Gourds & Wars
Guy Dance
Lust of Wind
Guts of Wind
Rail of Thorns
Hail of Porn
Wallow
Farm
Wheal
Healing Turd
Healing Tard
Meat Metal
Heat Meta
Hellish Repuke
Shellfish Rebuke
Heroinism
(L33t) Hax
Scold Monster
Hold Parson
Scold Parson
Hypnotic Patent
Vice Storm
Inflict Wombs
Dump
Legend Whore
Legend Ore
Leomund's Secret Sauce
Leomund's Tiny Butt
Leomund's Tin Hut
Lightning Arroz
Lightning Dolt
Bongstrider
Dongstrider

Hooligan
2016-06-18, 11:29 PM
Tragic Missile
Magic Moth
Ass Cure Wounds
Ass Heal
Ass Healing Turd
Ass Suggestion
Meld Into Stoner
Musty Step
Modify Mammary
Mordenkainen's Faithless Hound
Mordenkainen's Repossessed Mansion
Otiluke's Seizing Sphere
Ass Without Trace
Asswall
Phantom Seed

sengmeng
2016-06-19, 08:38 PM
Phantom Seed

I don't know the specifics of what this one does, but I bet it has a duration of "until discharged."

goto124
2016-06-20, 02:07 AM
Antiwife shell - protection against mates

Only female mates. Husbands aren't protected against.


Astral Rejection - you leave your body behind to breakup with a significant other in the astral plane.

Just when you thought doing this by text message was bad enough...

sengmeng
2016-06-21, 11:39 AM
250ish? Glyph of Wording- summons a thesaurus.