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Formless Entity
2016-06-13, 07:49 PM
Celestial Mage

http://i1026.photobucket.com/albums/y323/redeyedstrider/0ca6d17b2df777c65313ff2519bdcb55_zpstnywkg2c.jpg

The Celestial Mage studies for years to tap into their latent connection with this cosmos and learn in turn to bend it to their will. Ever curious about the nature of the universe around them, few of them are content with simply staying in a library or observatory and most will try to go see what is out there with their own eyes. Feeling a deep connection to the cosmos itself, many of them are inclined to worship nature itself, like many druids, rather than a deity.



Hit Die: d6

Armor: None.
Weapons: Simple weapons.
Tools: None
Saving Throws: Intelligence and Wisdom.
Skills: Choose two skills from Arcane, History, Insight, Nature, and Religion.
Equipment:

-(a) two daggers or (b) any simple weapon
-(a) arcane focus
-(a) any simple weapon
-(a) scholar's pack or (b) an explorer's pack.
-(a) a spellbook

Cosmic Force
At 1st level, you have cultivated an inner connection with the cosmos to glean power from one the untethered celestial forces in the cosmos of your choice: Stellar or Void, each of which is detailed at the end of the the class description.

Cantrips
At 1st level you know three cantrips of your choice from the Star Mage spell list, you learn additional cantrips at later levels, as shown on the table.

Spellbook
At 1st level, you have a spellbook containing 6 1st level Celestial Mage spell list. Your spellbook is the repository of the spells you know, except your cantrips, which are fixed in your mind.

Preparing and Casting Spells
The table shows how many spell slots you have to cast your spells of 1st level and higher. To cast one of these spells, you must expend a slot of the spell's level or higher. You regain all expended spell slots when you finish a long rest.

You prepare the list of Celestial Mage spells that are available for you to cast. To do so, choose a number of celestial magi spells from your spellbook equal to your intelligence modifier + your celestial magi level (minimum one spell). The spells must be of a level for which you have spell slots.

You can change your list of prepared spells when you finish a long rest. Preparing a new list of celestial magi spells requires time spent studying your spellbook and memorizing the incantations and gestures you must make to cast the spell: at least 1 minute per spell level for each spell of the list.

Spellcasting Ability
Intelligence is your spellcasting ability for your Celestial Mage spells, since you learn your spells through dedicated study and memorization. You use your intelligence whenever a spell refers to your spellcasting ability. In addition, you use your Intelligence modifier when setting the saving throw DC for a Celestial Magi spell you have cast and when making an attack roll with one.

Ritual Casting
You can cast a Celestial Mage spell as a ritual if that spell has the ritual tag and you have the spell in your spellbook. You don't need to have the spell prepared.

Spellcasting Focus
You can use an arcane focus as a spellcasting focus for your Celestial Mage spells.

Learning Spells
Each time you gain a Celestial Mage level you can add two Celestial Mage spells of your choice to your spellbook for free. Each of these spells must be of a level for which you have spell slots, as shown on the table. You cannot add other spells to your spellbook like many other arcane spellcasters that use spellbook can.

Celestial Scholar (Ex)
Starting at 3rd level, you get a competence bonus equal to your intelligence modifier to any knowledge check made about an astronomical object or concept.

Celestial Navigator (Ex)
Starting at 7th level, you get a competence bonus equal to your intelligence modifier to any navigation check made when the stars in view.

Cosmic Denizen (Sp)
Starting at the 11th level, you can now survive and function normally without oxygen and are immune to the effects on being in a vacuum.




Class Level

Prof. Bonus

Class Features

Cantrips

1st

2nd

3rd

4th

5th

6th

7th

8th

9th



1st

+2

Celestial Force Features, Spellcasting

3

2

-

-

-

-

-

-

-

-



2nd

+2

Celestial Force Feature

3

3

-

-

-

-

-

-

-

-



3rd

+2

Celestial Scholar

3

4

2

-

-

-

-

-

-

-



4th

+2

Ability Score Improvement

4

4

3

-

-

-

-

-

-

-



5th

+3

-

4

4

3

2

-

-

-

-

-

-



6th

+3

Celestial Force Feature

4

4

3

3

-

-

-

-

-

-



7th

+3

Celestial Navigator

4

4

3

3

1

-

-

-

-

-



8th

+3

Ability Score Improvement

4

4

3

3

2

-

-

-

-

-



9th

+4

-

4

4

3

3

3

1

-

-

-

-



10th

+4

Celestial Force Feature

5

4

3

3

3

2

-

-

-

-



11th

+4

Cosmic Denizen

5

4

3

3

3

2

1

-

-

-



12th

+4

Ability Score Improvement

5

4

3

3

3

2

1

-

-

-



13th

+5

-

5

4

3

3

3

2

1

1

-

-



14th

+5

Celestial Force Feature

5

4

3

3

3

2

1

1

-

-



15th

+5

-

5

4

3

3

3

2

1

1

1

-



16th

+5

Ability Score Improvement

5

4

3

3

3

2

1

1

1

-



17th

+6

-

5

4

3

3

3

2

1

1

1

1



18th

+6

Celestial Force Feature

5

4

3

3

3

3

1

1

1

1



19th

+6

Ability Score Improvement

5

4

3

3

3

3

2

1

1

1



20th

+6

Celestial Force Feature

5

4

3

3

3

3

2

2

1

1







You have gained power from the stars and galaxies of the cosmos. You powers involve outputting radiation and heat though you also gain some aspect of the star's more nourishing side as well with minor healing abilities.

Armor Proficiency: At 1st level, you become proficient in Light Armor.
Skill Proficiency: At 1st level, you become proficient in either Medicine or Persuasion.

Expanded Spell List
These spells are added to the list of spells avalible to learn.

Cantrips: Light, Sacred Flame
1st: Burning Hand, Healing Word
2nd: Flaming Sphere, Continual Flame
3rd: Fireball, Daylight
4th: Fire Shield (warm shield only), Wall of Fire
5th: Flame Strike
6th: Sun Beam
7th: Fire Storm
8th: Sunburst
9th: Meteor Swarm

Starstreak
Starting at 1st Level you get the Starstreak spell-like ability, you can use this spell-like ability a number of times per short rest equal your Charisma modifier. You use your charisma as your spellcasting ability for this spell-like ability.

Starstreak: Evocation
Casting Time: 1 action
Range: 80 feet
Components: V, S
Duration: Instantaneous

A blast of yellow-white light streaks towards a creature within range. Make a ranged spell attack against the target. On hit, the target rakes 1d6 radiant and 1d6 fire damage.

The spell creates more than one beam when you reach higher levels; two beams at 6th level, and three beams at 11th level, and four beams at the 17th level. You can direct the beams at the same target or at different ones. Make a separate attack roll for each beam.

Star's Light (SP)
Starting at 2rd level, as a bonus action, a number of times per day equal to your Charisma modifier, you can grant you and all allies within 30 ft of you advantage on all saving throws for one round and temporary hit points equal to your charisma modifier.

Starborn (SP)
Starting at 6th level you gain resistance to radiant damage, at 14th level this expands to include resistance to fire damage as well.

Cosmic Guidance (SP)
Starting at 10th level, as a free action you can make all forms of magic within 60 ft. of you glow softly for one minute. The color of the glow depends on the school of magic it is. Universal: Blue, Abjuration: White, Conjuration: Orange, Divination: Yellow, Enchantment: Pink. Evocation: Red, Illusion: Purple, Necromancy: Black, and Transmutation: Green. This is visible to everyone, not only the Cosmic Magi and the glow is stronger the more powerful the magic.

Dead Star Aspect (SP)
Starting at 14th level you can convert the damage type of any Cosmic Mage spell or feature from fire damage to cold damage or radiant to necrotic by reducing the damage dealt by 1/4 its total amount.

Star Blessing (SP)
Starting at 18th level, as a action you can cast heal all allies within 30 ft of you by 2d6 + your charisma bonus HP an amount of times per day equal to your charisma modifier.

Supernova (SP)
Starting at the 20th level, as a action you can force all creatures within a 10-80 ft. Radius of a spot within 80 ft of you to be pushed back 50 ft. away from the radius and to make a dex saving throw, counting 8+your proficiency bonus+your charisma bonus as the saving throw DC or else take 20d6 fire and 20d6 radiant damage if it succeeds it takes half damage. You can do this once per long rest.

You have gained power from the void between the stars and the holes in reality that bend space and time.

Weapon Proficiency: At 1st level, you become proficient with Short Swords.
Skill Proficiency: At 1st level, you become proficient in either Stealth or Acrobatics.

Expanded Spell List
These spells are added to the list of spells avalible to learn.

Cantrips: Ray of Frost, Chill Touch
1st: Inflict Wounds, Expeditious Retreat
2nd: Darkness, Mirror Image
3rd: Vampriric Touch, Haste
4th: Greater Invisibility, Ice Storm
5th: Cone of Cold
6th: Freezing Sphere
7th: Teleport
8th: Anti-Magic Field
9th: Time Stop

Voidray
Starting at 1st level you get the Voidray spell, you can use this spell a number of times per short rest equal to your Charisma modifier. You use your charisma as your spellcasting ability for this spell.

Voidray: Evocation
Casting time: 1 Action
Range: 80 feet
Components: V, S
Duration: Instantaneous

A rays of darkness streaks towards a creature within range. Make a ranged spell attack against the target. On hit, the target takes 1d6 necrotic and 1d6 cold damage.

The spell creates more than one beam when you reach higher levels; two beams at 6th level, and three beams at 11th level, and four beams at the 17th level. You can direct the beams at the same target or at different ones. Make a separate attack roll for each beam.

Cosmic Darkness (SP)
Starting at 2nd level this character can use the Darkness as a spell-like ability a number of times per day equal to its charisma modifier as a bonus action.

Voidborn (SP)
Starting at 6th level you gain resistance to necrotic damage. At 14th level this expands to include cold damage as well.

Voidwarp (SP)
Starting at 10th level, you gain darkvision and can teleport itself to up to 50 ft away to a location it can see a number of times per day equal to your Charisma modifier as an action.

Cold Fusion (SP)
Starting at 14th level you can convert the damage type of any Cosmic Magi spell or feature from cold damage to fire damage or necrotic damage to radiant damage by reducing the damage dealt by 1/4 its total amount.

Voidwarp Mastery (SP)
Starting at 18th level you can cast Misty Step as a spell-like ability as a bonus action.

Spatial Collapse (SP)
Starting at the 20th level, once per day as an action, you can create a 5 ft zone within 80 ft of you that deals 30d6 necrotic and 30d6 cold damage to any creatures in that zone. All creatures within 30 ft of that zone must make an strength check equal to 8+your proficiency bonus+your Charisma modifier or be pulled ten feet towards that zone, if any of these creatures end up in that zone they take the damage as well. This zone persist until the beginning of your next turn.



Cantrips:

Dancing Lights
Mage Hand
Message
Resistance
Unseen Servant

Level 1 Spells:

Color Spray
Comprehend Languages
Detect Magic
Feather Fall
Floating Disk
Mage Armor
Magic Missile
Shield
Silent Image

Level 2 Spells:

Arcanist's Magic Aura
Blindness/Deafness
Blur
Calm Emotions
Darkvision
Detect Thought
Hold Person
Levitate
Misty Step
Silence

Level 3 Spells:

Blink
Clairvoyance
Dispel Magic
Fly
Gaseous Form
Glyph of Warding
Hypnotic Pattern
Magic Circle
Major Image
Protection from Energy
Slow
Tongues

Level 4 Spells:

Arcane Eye
Banishment
Dimension Door
Freedom of Movement
Resilient Sphere

Level 5 Spells:

Arcane Hand
Conjure Elemental
Contact Other Plane
Planar Binding
Seeming
Scrying
Telekinesis
Teleportation Circle
Wall of Force

Level 6 Spells:

Disintergrate
Find the Path
Globe of Invulnerability
Instant Summons
Planar Ally
Programmed Illusion
True Seeing

Level 7 Spells:

Etherealness
Forcecage
Project Image
Plane Shift
Prismatic Spray
Reverse Gravity

Level 8 Spells:
Control Weather
Demiplane
Mind Blank

Level 9 Spells:

Astral Projection
Foresight
Gate
Weird
Wish


AvatarVecna for constructive criticism and pointing out balancing errors and dead levels.
SirTiefling from Deviant Art for the picture.
JNAProductions for constructive criticism and suggesting to add fluff.
TheTeaMusFlow for pointing out the error in the class name.
Ghost Nappa for pointing out power scaling issues.



EDIT: Fixed Typos
EDIT: Cleaned up presentation
EDIT: Adjusted for Balance. Adjusted to eliminate dead levels. (Credit to AvatarVecna)
EDIT: Made the class table into an actual table. (Credit to AvatarVecna)
EDIT: Minor Level Shifting
EDIT: Added Fluff (Credit to JNAProductions)
EDIT: Added picture (Credit to SirTiefling from Deviant Art.)
EDIT: Added some class description.
EDIT: Nerfed some abilities and fixed typos.
EDIT: Nerfed Spatial Collapse (Credit to JNAProductions.)
EDIT: Changed the Name (Credit to TheTeaMustFlow)
EDIT: Swapped Voidwarp and Cosmic Darkness (Credit to Ghost Nappa)

JNAProductions
2016-06-13, 09:27 PM
This class just feels straight up incomplete.

Formless Entity
2016-06-13, 09:35 PM
This class just feels straight up incomplete.

Constructive criticism is welcome, but I am afraid you may need to be more specific.

AvatarVecna
2016-06-13, 10:10 PM
My basic thoughts just skimming over this:

1) Formatting is your friend. Things like bolding/all-caps/different color for class feature titles helps them stand out, make it easier to see where the abilities separate, but that's not a huge issue. What would make this look a lot better, though, is having your table actually use the table formatting stuff; the button is just below the button that Bolds stuff in the section above the typing area when you reply.

2) Generally, all classes have one "strong save" (a save that comes up a lot, aka Dex/Con/Wis) and one "weak save" (a save that rarely comes up, aka Str/Int/Cha). Your class has two weak saves as their proficient saves. My suggestion would be to change out Charisma for Wisdom, since both saves serve similar functions, with Wisdom just coming up a lot more often. Changing other features to work with Wisdom would work better as well, although leaving it all (including the save) as Charisma is, of course, up to you.

3) Eschew Materials is not a thing that exists in 5e. By the rules, possessing either a Component Pouch or a Spellcasting Focus makes the need for the specific material component not apply; since you receive a spellcasting focus as part of your starting equipment, there is no need for an ability that makes Eschew Materials necessary.

4) A design philosophy of 5e is that there is no such thing as a "dead level"; that is, a level where a class gets nothing but more hit points; spellcasters, to an extent, get around this because usually when they receive no class features, it's at a level where they gain access to a new level of spells (such as 5th level, where no class feature advances, but they get 3rd level spells). Your class has 6 dead levels, and none of them make up for it by being the level at which you gain a new spell level. This can be remedied by shifting around the levels at which you receive sub-class abilities (and improvements to said abilities).

5) With that in mind, I would suggest moving Cosmic Denizen to level 14.

6) Please specify whether the spells indicated in each sub-class are added to your class spell list (and can be selected) or if they are automatically added to your spellbook.

7) Starstreak/Voidray is like a better version of Eldritch Blast, particularly in the early levels; a straight Blastlock will do better with EB, especially later on, but as it stands, it's overpowered. I would suggest ditching it and just giving each sub-class "Eldritch Blast" as a cantrip; if the damage type is the issue, allow them to change the damage type. Also, if you are going to insist upon Starstreak/Voidray staying, I will reference point 1 again by asking that you spoiler it for the sake of formatting.

8) I recommend changing Star's Light to 2nd lvl, and making it a Bonus Action (since there's no such thing as a Move Action in 5e).

9) I recommend moving Starborn to 6th level, and it's upgrade to 10th level, for the sake of eliminating dead levels.

10) Cosmic Guidance does not indicate how often it can be used (I would assume it's at-will, but it doesn't say so). Regardless, it's also marked as a move action; I would recommend changing this to an Action, personally.

11) Dead Star Aspect seems fine, although I would recommend moving it to 10th level personally.

12) Star Blessing lets you cast Heal (a 6th level spell) up to (Cha mod) times per day without expending a spell slot. How do I put this...NO. NOBODY GETS TO DO THAT. EVER. A 20th level Life Cleric (aka, the best healer in the game) gets at most 6 slots they can use to cast 6th level spells; Star Blessing gives you up to 5 extra 6th level slots for casting this spell, which is total BS. The most, the absolute most, I can recommend for this ability, to let it be even remotely reasonable, is to either let them add "Heal" to their spell list (to cast it out of their normal slots) or to give them a Lay On Hands-esque ability.

13) There is no such thing as a full round action, please alter this to Action.

14) I recommend making Voidwarp an Action, since it gives you quite a bit.

15) As with Starborn, I recommend moving Voidborn to 6th level and its upgrade to 10th.

16) Please make Cosmic Darkness either an Action or a Bonus Action.

17) Once again, suggesting Cold Fusion be moved to 10th level.

18) You remember me freaking out about you getting to cast a 6th level spell up to Cha mod times per day without expending a spell slot? I'd like to point out that Voidwarp Mastery gives you a 7th level spell at-will. Yes, Teleport is 7th level now, it's to keep people from being able to spam it. I have no problem with this being Misty Step (bonus action 30 ft teleport) at-will, that would be a neat ability, but straight-up Teleport at-will? NO.

19) Once again, make Spatial Collapse an Action.

Formless Entity
2016-06-13, 11:53 PM
Took your ideas into consideration Vecna.

Do you mind reviewing this version?

AvatarVecna
2016-06-14, 01:53 AM
1) 5e tends to avoid giving small bonuses like Competence to various things, and attribute stacking in particular, in order to make the bookkeeping easier. My suggestion would be to change "Celestial Navigator" to instead give the character Expertise with Navigator's tools; this would have them rolling with proficiency+proficiency+intelligence, rather than proficiency+intelligence+intelligence.

2) Voidray still reads as initially allowing two rays; this appears to just be something that got missed, since the next sentence has it gaining a 2nd ray at 6th level.

That's the only stuff that looks super-off to me; there's potentially some balance issues with some abilities (which I'm not a huge expert on), but I've already flagged all the things that stuck out to me as too much. I'm sure somebody more experienced with homebrew will come along and point out ways that this is over- or under-powered at points.

Formless Entity
2016-06-14, 02:20 AM
1) 5e tends to avoid giving small bonuses like Competence to various things, and attribute stacking in particular, in order to make the bookkeeping easier. My suggestion would be to change "Celestial Navigator" to instead give the character Expertise with Navigator's tools; this would have them rolling with proficiency+proficiency+intelligence, rather than proficiency+intelligence+intelligence.

2) Voidray still reads as initially allowing two rays; this appears to just be something that got missed, since the next sentence has it gaining a 2nd ray at 6th level.

That's the only stuff that looks super-off to me; there's potentially some balance issues with some abilities (which I'm not a huge expert on), but I've already flagged all the things that stuck out to me as too much. I'm sure somebody more experienced with homebrew will come along and point out ways that this is over- or under-powered at points.

Thank you for your advice.

Formless Entity
2016-06-14, 03:28 AM
My first reaction to this is: "why does this need to be a base class? It's so similar to the wizard that I'd just make it an arcane tradition (or two)."

If you've got an answer to that, my other comments are:

1. I agree with what AV says about expertise, navigator's tools, etc.

2. "Heal or Diplomacy"? Don't you mean medicine or persuasion?

3a. You say Starstreak is a "spell", but it doesn't have a spell level. This matters in terms of interactions with Counterspell and Globe of Invulnerability, plus the 'if you cast a spell as a bonus action, you may not cast another in the same turn unless it is a cantrip' rule. Starstreak looks like a cantrip because of its scaling, but it's way more powerful and has a usage limit.

3b. On that spell, it says it deals "radiant and fire damage". That's not really a thing in 5e. Do you mean it does 1d6 radiant + 1d6 fire?

4. Abilities as free actions are extremely rare in 5e. I'd advise against them. Star's Light should 100% be an action. Cosmic Guidance could be an action or a bonus action.

5. Star Blessing needs to be re-worded; I can't believe you mean to give people 5 castings of Heal on all allies without using a spell slot. More likely, you want to give a few free castings of Mass Healing Word. Also, it's an action, not "a action".

6. Why does Supernova use Charisma? This class uses Intelligence as its casting stat. And then there are some typos: the targets are pushed back, not "pushes back" and radiation damage is not a thing in this game.

7. I'd move Voidwarp to level 18 and make it work like Misty Step. *reads ahead* Oh wait, you have that already. Then that 2nd-level ability needs to be changed. It's stupidly overpowered.

1) They come from different places in terms of their origins in the game. Keep in mind classes are more than statistics.

2) Yes, thank you for that.

3a) I will change it to a spell-like ability then.

3b) I suppose.

4) Star's Light an action makes sense. I do not think Star's Guidance should be an action.

5) Why do you assume everyone will be maxing out Charisma?

6) Meant to say "Radiant". Also have you even been reading the class? All of the features from the Celestial Forces use Charisma and the spells use Intelligence.

7) In my experience spending your action to teleport a small distance only a couple of times a day is not overpowered.

Overall you did point out a couple of proof-reading errors but you need to read the class more thoroughly before leaving a review of it.

Formless Entity
2016-06-14, 03:40 AM
......please watch your tone. This is an extremely disrespectful way to talk to someone who is trying to help (and did read the whole class) and I am *this* close to withdrawing my advice and permanently blocking you.

Resorting to threats?

Is that an eye for an eye?

In any case I was not trying to be "rude" I was being direct.

JNAProductions
2016-06-14, 04:55 PM
Spatial Collapse is too strong.

Formless Entity
2016-06-14, 05:28 PM
Spatial Collapse is too strong.

Why?

It has much less range than Supernova and Meteor Swarm and it is a capstone ability that can only be used once per day.

I think I might need to change its duration to just one turn though.

Formless Entity
2016-06-14, 05:32 PM
Nerfed the damage and the duration

Ghost Nappa
2016-06-14, 06:57 PM
Under "Stellar" and "Void" there is a typo in both sections around the same spot:

"These spells are added to the list of spells avalible to learn."

It should be "available."

Change the description of "Starstreak" to match the description of "Voidray." I would argue that you should change both of them to be homebrewed cantrips exclusive to each branch of the class rather than have them be a class ability.

Voidwarp should specify the range of the Darkvision granted by the feature (the normal choice is 60'). I also agree that allowing the player to teleport that many times per day as an action is probably too good at Level 2. Misty Step isn't available to almost any character until Level 3. While Misty Step has a better casting time of a bonus action, keep in mind that this is an ability a character can pick up for 2 Levels of a class and then Multi-class out into Wizard, Sorcerer, Bard, Warlock, Paladin... and I gotta say, a multi-use teleport is a very tempting trade-off for an ASI/feat and a potentially bad capstone. Especially some of them don't even give up any spell slots. Keep in mind that the closest comparison for a class feature that I think of is the (Way of Shadow) Monk's Shadow Step, which they don't receive until Level 6.

I would say have it start off as a Once/Long Rest for the first couple of levels (so it starts off as a cool trick the player can mess around with, but not break things with) and then upgrade it CHA times/Long Rest at some point mid-level, and then replace the 18th level ability with a final upgrade that makes it a bonus action to use. This means that after 18 levels they have a multi-use teleport that is statistically better than Misty Step, which is something that no other class can claim, but it isn't too good too soon, and is comparable to other features at this level like the Wizard's Spell Mastery (which allows them to cast 1 1st and 1 2nd level spell at their lowest levels for free), or a Warlock's 8th Invocation.

I would also just remove any instance of the words "spell-like ability" or "per day" because that doesn't really show up in 5E jargon. Let me give you an example of how to fix this so its more consistent with other 5E class write-ups.

For example, here is your description for Void Celestial Magi's 10th level feature, "Cosmic Darkness."

Starting at 10th level this character can use the cast Darkness as a spell-like ability a number of times per day long rest equal to its their charisma modifier as a bonus action.

TheTeaMustFlow
2016-06-14, 07:09 PM
Magi is a plural, the singular would be Magus. Mage would work as well, I suppose, but 'Celestial Magi' as a singular is simply wrong.

Also, the text sometimes refers to Cosmic or Star Magi, rather than Celestial.

Formless Entity
2016-06-14, 09:48 PM
Magi is a plural, the singular would be Magus. Mage would work as well, I suppose, but 'Celestial Magi' as a singular is simply wrong.

Also, the text sometimes refers to Cosmic or Star Magi, rather than Celestial.

Okay I will fix that.

I am hesitant to use the term magus because of the class called such in pathfinder.