View Full Version : Books Never Written: Fun With Puns

2016-07-28, 02:46 AM
I remember doing a lot of these with my dad when I was just a wee lad; you've probably heard many of them before, if not by this name. You come up with a name that is a pun (probably a bad one), and then a book title they likely would have written. Classic examples include "Under the Grandstands" by Seymour Butts, "Yellow River" by I.P. Freely, and my favorite, "50 Yards to the Outhouse" by Willie Makeit, illustrated by Betty Wont. So I challenge you to come up with your own entries in a similar vein.

I'll start with one I came up with a few weeks back when I was thinking of names for a training exercise at work that I thought was fairly decent:

"Medicine for the Young and Old" by Gerry Attric and his grandson Petey.

Now, your turn!

Black Socks
2016-07-28, 07:06 AM
Among the Pachyderms by Elle E. Funt.

2016-07-29, 08:42 AM
Running for a bus by Willie Makit and Betty Wont

2016-07-30, 07:05 PM
Trouble Below by Ivan Asrasch, illustrated by Wilma Budditch

The History of Prostitution by Selma Botti

2016-07-31, 12:21 AM
Oooh, Selma Botti. Nice one.

Business is Dead by Mort Ishan.

Scarlet Knight
2016-07-31, 07:11 AM
Accounting for Physicians by Dr. D. Books

2016-08-01, 05:35 AM
I ran from wolves by Claude Bottom

Black Socks
2016-08-01, 03:03 PM
The Race for the Finish Line by Justin Time

2016-08-02, 01:19 AM
The Sausage Feast by Eaton Wieners

2016-08-03, 09:44 AM
Get Rich In Days! by Yu Dum Gai.

Scarlet Knight
2016-08-03, 07:10 PM
The Gravediggers Handbook by Phillip Hole.

2016-08-04, 05:42 AM
Falling off a cliff by Eileen Dover and Phil Down

2016-08-04, 08:00 PM
101 Ways To Cook Your Pig by Chris P Bacon

2016-08-06, 05:56 PM
Sidewalk Repair Tips by Phil McCracken.

Black Socks
2016-08-07, 06:21 PM
Stages of Death by Rig R. Mortis

2016-08-08, 12:22 AM
Toddler Overboard by Chuck D. Babee

2016-08-09, 02:59 AM
Running into trouble by Luke Out

Laughing Dog
2016-08-09, 06:17 PM
Constipation and You by Phillip T. Cornhole.

Scarlet Knight
2016-08-09, 06:20 PM
Modern Style by Art Deco

2016-08-10, 01:11 PM
Stirring the Pot by Jimmy Rustler

I'm Calling My Lawyer by Sue DeBastarde

No More Lying Down by Stan Dupp

I'm Not An Alien by Hugh Mann

Rides Like a Dream by Selina Lemon

Black Socks
2016-08-10, 03:18 PM
A History of Humour by Joe King

2016-08-11, 09:12 AM
No More Manscaping! by Harry Johnson

2016-08-11, 07:06 PM
How to get out of places quickly, by Yu Goh Nao.

2016-08-11, 10:22 PM
Planning For Your Future by Tom Morrow

The World's Top Models by Cameron Yu

Scarlet Knight
2016-08-12, 06:48 PM
Scandanavian Painting by Matt Finnish

2016-08-12, 07:44 PM
Mission Impossible: Winning 22 Gold Medals by Jim and Michael Phelps

Prince Zahn
2016-08-13, 01:41 PM
How did I not find this game sooner? :P

falling off the cliff by Hugo furst. (yes I know Sengmeng did this one)

Overcoming Amnesia by Hu R. Yu

To become a widower by Ike L. Dherr

One lifeguard short by Mann S. Drowning.

Scarlet Knight
2016-08-14, 09:22 PM
So You Want to be a Book Reviewer? by Paige Turner

2016-08-15, 06:28 AM
My trousers won't stay up by Lucy Lastic

2016-08-16, 05:32 PM
Don't Read Me by Ira Nee

How To Get Wrinkle-Free Clothes by Ira Ning

You Can Say That Again by Rhee Peter

12 by Jack Black

2016-08-19, 02:23 AM
The Jack Black one took me longer to get than I really care to admit.

Alternative Forms of Pleasure by Dommie Natrix

2016-08-19, 05:28 AM
My life with odd sized private parts by Wun Hung Lo

2016-08-19, 06:15 PM
How To Succeed In Politics by Ima Lyon

Perfect Acquittal Record by Dewey, Cheatham, & Howe

Scarlet Knight
2016-08-26, 01:19 PM
Alternative Forms of Pleasure by Dommie Natrix

Pain is Pleasure by Sadie Istik

2016-09-07, 12:41 PM
My Parents Hate Me by Richard Ryder.

Prince Zahn
2016-09-07, 05:09 PM
Returning to my homeland - by D. Ported.

2016-09-16, 08:43 PM
I'm Not a Racist, But... by Ray Cist.