Help, I think I might be jaded!

[Prince Zahn]

I have a problem right now with my hobby, maybe with change or stress.
For quite a few years now, Dungeons and Dragons, (and tabletop roleplaying games in general) was my main hobby and my life. It would be all I wanted to talk about. That's what all my friends want to talk about, too. I don't mind that, even now, I often contribute where I can, anyway; I'm a giver. :smalltongue:

Nowadays, all I talk about to people are my problems. I don't know if it's burn out, or frustration from my normal life, or stress about the future, or maybe I just got tired of it - But I've lost touch with my games, their plots, their rules, and my beloved characters.
I don't get inspired anymore, even the thoughts about how to continue my games (both as player and DM) tire me and I try to do something else. But on the other hand, I don't want to leave it behind. I don't play other games anymore, I don't have other hobbies, I fear I have little other excitement from life in me, anyway - I can't afford to lose this too!

Does anyone else here have (or had) a similar situation? How do you handle it? How do you go back to normal? Or What do you do when you can't? :smalleek:

[Algeh]

You may just need a break. I know I've taken long breaks from gaming, which I needed to get excited about it again. I fell into anime, then filk while "on break" from gaming so I definitely stayed in the larger geek community while changing which cons and events I went to. I still got out about as much as I ever did, I just went to anime screenings or geek music concerts instead of having a gaming group (for a while, I ran group that would get together once a month to watch anime at various people's houses, for example). At this point I'm still spending a lot more time and energy on filking than gaming, but I do have this one campaign idea I may have time to start later this year...(and I'm starting to burn out on hauling an audio recorder with me to conventions and trying to keep all of my filk recordings organized, too.)

There's nothing wrong with getting burned out on something that you used to find fun, or even still find fun in an abstract sense. Personally, I suspect I'm someone who tends to fall too deeply into things in general, burn out on them, and need a break for a while before I come back again. It seems like for me it's about every 5 years that I find a new thing as my main focus.

On the other hand, if you feel like you're just not enjoying anything anymore (not even gaming) rather than just that you're not enjoying gaming anymore, that could be a sign of a larger issue, and you might want to talk to your doctor or someone else in your life about it.

[Knaight]

I'd look into the other hobbies situation - interest in individual hobbies waxes and wanes for me, but that's a total non issue when I have multiple interests. It sounds like you've burned out a bit on TTRPGs, and that's fine. It leaving only problems to talk about is less fine, so I'd recommend trying to find something else that catches your interest. It's probably not going to be work (if it was it would give you something to talk about already), but that leaves plenty of options. Try to get into cooking, or sports at a recreational level, or reading, or whatever else.

[Eldariel]

I'd second Knaight's advice. I've had various hobbies over my life and I'm still somewhat involved in many of them (reading, gymnastics, video games, tabletop, anime, board games, partner dance, figure dance, wine tasting, tea tasting, bouldering, sailing as the big ones I guess) but new ones have taken over as the primary outlets and some have turned into studies/professional (linguistics, philosophy). I still enjoy tabletop, video games and board games in my sparetime but if I now get to choose between going dancing or playing, I'll generally choose dance. It's fully possible that as time passes, dance will become more a part of my life and less of an all-consuming passion. I'll keep doing it for the rest of my life while I keep trying out new things. The road goes ever on, after all. I've yet to properly get into classical singing and ballet and playing harp - countless things I want to drown in and thoroughly experience with my whole self.

Here's the key I guess: You fear you have little else? I'm not certain that's the whole of it; the world is full of things for you if you wanted to give them a try. So what is it that you fear? Change, perhaps? Mayhap this is an opportunity: surf the wave of change instead of trying to change back into who you once were. What is it that stays your hand? You're free to explore and try and see what other things feel like. There is a sea of experiences out there looking to just sweep you in if you give them half the chance. Giving something else a try might rejuvenate your enthusiasm about RPGs too, and provide you with new perspectives and new ways to think about things. It is indeed possible that your mind is trapped by stress or frustration; those are the kinds of things that can kill your interest in just about anything. However, for me and from what I understand most people, hobbies are precisely the thing used to combat said stress and frustration. Perhaps part of the negative experiences can stem from routine and repetition as well; there are many reasons to try something new.

[Velaryon]

I've felt very much the same before, though whether the root causes are the same is something only you can figure out for sure.

In my case, gaming became a huge part of my identity throughout high school, college, and most of my 20's. First it was Magic: the Gathering, then I got into D&D and other tabletop RPGs. That was where the majority of my energy went for those years. I became closer to my fellow gamers and less close to friends who didn't share the hobby (not intentionally, but it happened). I spent significant portions of my day on gaming forums. "Gamer" became the first word I used to describe myself.

At some point (after some personal drama I won't go into here), I started wanting more out of life. It wasn't that I didn't enjoy my hobbies anymore, but I wanted to get out of my dead-end, less than minimum wage job, get a girlfriend, and be able to do more things in life. Graduate school took up two years, the girlfriend thing was good for awhile but didn't work out, and I'm busier now than ever before but I still find some time for those hobbies.

However, I find that I can't devote the focus, energy, or time to gaming that I used to. Even when I have days off, I find it more enjoyable to play PS4 or browse the internet than, say, work on D&D stuff, even though I love the game I had going. I still see those players fairly often, but either one of them is running a game or we're doing other things. I even find that playing D&D every week, which used to be my standard in college and my early 20's, is more than I want to play even when I do have the time to spare.

In your case OP, I'd say you have some questions to ask yourself:

1. Do you still find enjoyment in your hobbies? If so, do you still find the same amount, or is it diminished from what it once was?
2. Gaming is not like some other hobbies in that it still requires a lot of work - prep time for GM's, character design, note taking, and so on. Are you finding that the work aspect of your hobby is making it less fun?
3. Are you feeling a desire for something new, something that maybe gaming isn't providing or can't provide for you? You might just need to explore some new hobbies.
4. Are you finding that you feel less connected to your friends because they still seem to have that obsession for the game that you don't seem to be feeling right now? If so, maybe look for other things you can do with those friends such as board games, or taking up a new more active hobby together.

I don't have the answers. I've just been in the same boat as you, maybe for a little longer, and these are some things I've been thinking about.

[Prince Zahn]

Hey guys thank you for replying!

I finished with the work I had to do, it's complicated, I didn't get fired, but I'm not working anymore. I still don't feel liberated by it's burden, though. I've now reached a point where for the first time in my life, I don't have anything planned. That is scary, but also confusing and blurry.

Frankly? I don't enjoy gaming like I used to, I quit running my campaign because I didn't want to finish it.
Thankfully I do still enjoy some things, but a lot of it, like music, games, things I did for fun, aren't what they used to be.
At the same time, I also feel uninspired, like I can't think of anything, I'm not doing anything about it.
@Velaryon it's not really a desire for something new, but more like just, I don't desire THIS.
My friends too try to feed me more of it and I have nothing to say to them. And I doubt these guys would be into board games and the like, frankly. I think I am the problem, I changed there in a way I should not have, and I need to backtrack from here. Maybe try to recover that love of life I had before.

Anyway, thanks again, everyone!

[Herobizkit]

Hobbies and such are great diversions - they're a healthy part of life.

Life, however, needs some daily maintenance. If your quality of life/satisfaction dwindles, it infects everything else you might enjoy.

It's scary, but try something new. It will feel weird and uncomfortable and unnatural, but learning anything new causes such anxiety. Sweat it out and you'll likely be thankful for the experience, even if it wasn't really your "bag".

[The Succubus]

How to check if you're jaded -

Look at large areas of skin such as the arms, legs or your face in the mirror. If you do not see large patches of green stone, then you are not jaded. :smallbiggrin: