why the 3.5 Soulknife is sooooo Overpowered (and anime-esque) !!

[umbrapolaris]

ok , so the Soulknife (http://www.d20srd.org/srd/psionic/classes/soulknife.htm)is the most overpowered class in the game , why?

The guys is a tricker from the start ! the guy is a killer that disguise himself as a skinny commoner !!!


the appetizer:

- skills : Move Silently, Hide, tumble , jump, autohypnosis : ok basically he is a ninja warrior from japan, and even if he is not, he can force-telling himself he is by hypnotized himself ! uber abused !

- Saves: Full Ref and Will save , come on ... the guy will dodge your spell like they were snowflakes

- Feats : Weapon focus & Greater WF + Speed of Thought for free right of the bat .... holy *****

- proficiency: all simple melee and Mind Blade + light Armor = so he can wear a kevlar jacket without penalties...; abused again !


the main dishes

- Wild Talent : "may the force be with you" of course the force is with him !!! come on...

- Mind Blade : whooooooot ! ok the guy is a fusion of a Jedi/Kuwabara (yuyu hakusho) /Psylocke (marvel) but better, he has a permanent secret lightsaber that he can replace right away if broken or lost !
he use it as a light weapon
his lightsaber increases in precision and damage as he level !!!! even the strongest Fighter can't do that !
He can have it even in null psionic fields, so he can trick or force-teleport a Psion in this field and beat him ! cheated !

- Throw Mind Blade: ok , now he can throw his lightsaber, as if it wasn't strong enough to have it...anti-skirmisher by excellence, "you want flee from me ? i don't think so ! lightsaber in the back"

- Psychic Strike: ummm...what?!!!

The guy 's Lightsaber now do awesome damages , which again increases damages as he level and this effect can be held !
It can affect every living being ! only way to avoid it , is to be dead or brainless !!!!! ("Creatures immune to mind-affecting effects are immune to psychic strike damage")...way tooo overpowered !
It can affect enemies immune to crits and sneak attacks !!!! ("Unlike the rogue’s sneak attack, the psychic strike is not precision damage and can affect creatures otherwise immune to extra damage from critical hits") . come on !!! the fighter was made useless, now the rogue too !

- Free Draw : pffff ! now he can draw his Lightsaber before anyone can react !!!

- Shape Mind Blade: what ! now his Lightsaber can be made as a different type of weapon... so he can change it to a finger and stick it deep it your... and you say "no it is not abused" !!!

- Mind Blade Enhancement: ok so it has his lightsaber that increases in precision and damage as he level , now it can put special abilities on it ! this is madness !!!!

- Bladewind : pfffff.... (again) , now he can fragment his lightsaber and throw it to everyone around him with all the previous effect enabled !!! abuuuuuuused !

- Knife to the Soul:: what you said "im a wizard , im tier 1 , im not impressed, i can win the soulknife eyes closed" ? are you mad ! the Jedi - oops - the Soulknife will splice your brain , no brain , no spells, you dead !!! no caster is out of his reach ! even clerics ! your god will not save you from it ! because your god will not help a wisdom-less cleric , you will not worthy anymore and cant hold your hammer !

- Multiple Throw: ok i surrender now , he can throw many lightsaber to you , ok dodge (if you can) or be dead ....


you say it is just theory , will never happen in real life scenario: ok let see;

the Soulknife was paid by the local villagers to kill the mad Wizard abusing them , so he goes to the pleasure house where the Wizard and his acolytes use to enjoying life.
since he is able to hypnotize himself , the soulknife disguise as a crossdresser and impersonate as a female ; a 1m80 hot chick is quite attractive so the owner of the house immediately hire "her"...
Then the wizard come, as this pervert see our attractive and tall soulknife he immediately request her.. of course the bodyguards do a deep search on her for any weapons , which they dont find of course...
once in the privacy of the room and alone with his target , he wait for the wizard to undress (you know removing a robe is not easy task ; it take some times and in a makes you blind for a couple of second since he robe obstruct your vision)...this is the moment our overpowered Soulknife was waiting for ! then BOOM :

- Quick draw materializeing the Mind Blade + Keen special ability (for better crit range) + Psychic Strike + Knife to the Soul (Intelligence) !!! the wizard die screaming before even realizing what happened !

the scream immediately alert the bodyguards? BOOM (again) :

- Speed of Thought (to get out of the room fast) + tumble like a ninja + Bladewind to each bodyguard !!! they are dead...

mission successful , time to get the cash....

i told you !!!! overpowered !!!!

this post used Epic Sarcasm :p

[KillianHawkeye]

I dunno... I don't think all of those fancy tricks can offset the devastating loss of a familiar/psicrystal. :smallwink:

[Jack_McSnatch]

Figters r better ten dum soulknives! Figters r thee best class!

Figters gets feets! So manys feets! I got all the feets because I am a hyuman figter!

I got reeflexsesl and eckspertease and power attack and I took flaws so I coud get moor feets and one of them was illiterressy but I dont car because I am a figter

~written by Ted. A fighter. Age 27

[Kelb_Panthera]

Ladies and gentlemen, Poe's Law in full effect.

I genuinely couldn't tell if this was a genuinely held position or a mockery of such if it weren't for my knack at picking up sarcasm in text.

[ijon]

you can tell it's not authentic because he didn't hold up a spork once

[umbrapolaris]

Ladies and gentlemen, Poe's Law in full effect.

I genuinely couldn't tell if this was a genuinely held position or a mockery of such if it weren't for my knack at picking up sarcasm in text.

check the little spoiler at the end of the text ;)

[Kelb_Panthera]

check the little spoiler at the end of the text ;)

Saw this on my phone the first time. Thought that was part of his sig. :smallredface:

[Extra Anchovies]

you can tell it's not authentic because he didn't hold up a spork once

Ah, but he did - it was just a permanent secret spork that he can replace right away if it's broken or lost. So overpowered!

[Inevitability]

I'm getting LordDrako flashbacks again...

[Heliomance]

I'm quite impressed at how flawlessly the troll language patterns were imitated. I couldn't write like that, wouldn't know how.

[ekarney]

Well satired my friend. You genuinely made me cringe and that's a tough thing to do!

[Calthropstu]

Is a spork a legitimate form for a soulblade?

[umbrapolaris]

I'm quite impressed at how flawlessly the troll language patterns were imitated. I couldn't write like that, wouldn't know how.

Thank you, i have a lot of experiences by crossing many trolls as a mod of a computer security forum; trolls never die , they regenerate !!! abuuuused :p



Well satired my friend. You genuinely made me cringe and that's a tough thing to do!


you are welcome ;)


Is a spork a legitimate form for a soulblade?

yes it is , it's an exotic weapon !!! http://boingboing.net/2016/09/08/yes-this-is-a-tactical-spork.html

[Sword-Geass]

Don't forget that they have unique attack paterns that can't be replicated! (AKA: The BAB in the table is quitte messed up :smalltongue:)

[Âmesang]

Should I fear the kind of demiplane that would require a tuning spork?

Also, silly idea came to mind regarding dodging snowflakes; could you apply Snowcasting, Flash Frost, and Energy Admixture to a control weather to create a blizzard of acidic snow? Thunderclaps that deal sonic damage!

Perhaps, even… a "Rain of (Colorless) Fire?" :smalltongue:

[Sword-Geass]

Should I fear the kind of demiplane that would require a tuning spork?

Also, silly idea came to mind regarding dodging snowflakes; could you apply Snowcasting, Flash Frost, and Energy Admixture to a control weather to create a blizzard of acidic snow? Thunderclaps that deal sonic damage!

Perhaps, even… a "Rain of (Colorless) Fire?" :smalltongue:

Well, you have just created a less effective, but more flavorful (and indisputable RAW legal) LCB. Congrats.

[Extra Anchovies]

Thank you, i have a lot of experiences by crossing many trolls as a mod of a computer security forum; trolls never die , they regenerate !!!

I'd recommend fire or acid, but that might not be good for the servers.


Should I fear the kind of demiplane that would require a tuning spork?

I believe that would be the Quasi-Elemental Plane of Mixed Fruit in Light Syrup (https://mmnpl.files.wordpress.com/2011/11/dole-fruit-cup.png).

[umbrapolaris]

I'd recommend fire or acid, but that might not be good for the servers.


We have the Ban hammer of Thor , but some use VPNs to mask their IP adresss , damn trolls !

[azaph]

I'd recommend fire or acid, but that might not be good for the servers.

I think internet trolls are imune to flames.

[LoyalPaladin]

I'm getting LordDrako flashbacks again...
It cracks me up how this is basically the GitP meme...

[Draconium]

You know, I went into this thread expecting it to be a satire of some sort. Glad I wasn't disappointed. :smallamused:


I'm getting LordDrako flashbacks again...


It cracks me up how this is basically the GitP meme...

... I don't get it.

[Inevitability]

... I don't get it.

LordDrako (also known as vampire, ice_assassin and Ragevillain) was a poster on these forums best known for his ridiculous (and never RAW-legal) builds, inability to admit defeat, repeated insulting (and last time, threatening with death) of other posters, pictures of shirtless sorcerers (might as well flaunt the charisma) and poor grasp of the English language. He was last banned by the mods a few weeks ago, but legend has it at the end of time he shall return, sailing a ship made from bad grammar and corrupt spells.

[Draconium]

LordDrako (also known as vampire, ice_assassin and Ragevillain) was a poster on these forums best known for his ridiculous (and never RAW-legal) builds, inability to admit defeat, repeated insulting (and last time, threatening with death) of other posters, pictures of shirtless sorcerers (might as well flaunt the charisma) and poor grasp of the English language. He was last banned by the mods a few weeks ago, but legend has it at the end of time he shall return, sailing a ship made from bad grammar and corrupt spells.

:smalleek: Well, now I get it.

[LoyalPaladin]

... I don't get it.

LordDrako (also known as vampire, ice_assassin and Ragevillain) was a poster on these forums best known for his ridiculous (and never RAW-legal) builds, inability to admit defeat, repeated insulting (and last time, threatening with death) of other posters, pictures of shirtless sorcerers (might as well flaunt the charisma) and poor grasp of the English language.

:smalleek: Well, now I get it.
No no no, clearly Dire_Stirge has learned nothing. What I learned from all those threads, is that Sorcs are far superior to Wizards because charisma is far superior to intelligence. You can also identify them as follows, if it wears a shirt, it's a wizard and is then synonymous with plebeian. If it doesn't wear a shirt, it's a sorcerer and you should then worship it as a deity.


He was last banned by the mods a few weeks ago, but legend has it at the end of time he shall return, sailing a ship made from bad grammar and corrupt spells.
Oh my gosh. I kid you not, I just shot my coffee out through my nose and all over my keyboard. Now I've got nose coffee all over my full plate. Thanks, Stirge. Owe you one.

[vasilidor]

while I recognize this thread as sarcasm, I have had fun playing the soul knife. especially in a low magic setting where I also convinced my GM to let me gestalt with psion :smile:

[digiman619]

while I recognize this thread as sarcasm, I have had fun playing the soul knife. especially in a low magic setting where I also convinced my GM to let me gestalt with psion :smile:

You should look into the Pathfinder version by Dreamscarred Press. It's incredibly versatile and fun, plus with the addition of archetypes, the mind blade can be practically anything.

[Âmesang]

No no no, clearly Dire_Stirge has learned nothing. What I learned from all those threads, is that Sorcs are far superior to Wizards because charisma is far superior to intelligence. You can also identify them as follows, if it wears a shirt, it's a wizard and is then synonymous with plebeian. If it doesn't wear a shirt, it's a sorcerer and you should then worship it as a deity.
Pretty sure if my sorceress went without a shirt she'd be breaking a law, depending on culture. :smalltongue: On the other hand… free blindess/charm person/daze? On the other other hand… what's the magical equivalent of sun screen? :smallfrown: It's tough being a Suel under the sun.

[Red Fel]

this post used Epic Sarcasm :p

It's super effective!

Seriously, as others have said, the base structure is spot-on for some of these posts. The grammar, the organization, really makes it feel like authentic absurdity. Well done. And the little details, like throwing out "anime-esque" in the title like that means something self-explanatory, are particularly well-executed.

Bravo.

[LoyalPaladin]

Pretty sure if my sorceress went without a shirt she'd be breaking a law, depending on culture. :smalltongue: On the other hand… free blindess/charm person/daze? On the other other hand… what's the magical equivalent of sun screen? :smallfrown: It's tough being a Suel under the sun.
Bahahaha. Oh, playground. How I love thee.

[Extra Anchovies]

Bahahaha. Oh, playground. How I love thee.

Oh, but it gets better.


Pretty sure if my sorceress went without a shirt she'd be breaking a law, depending on culture. :smalltongue: On the other hand… free blindess/charm person/daze? On the other other hand… what's the magical equivalent of sun screen? :smallfrown: It's tough being a Suel under the sun.

Cloak of Shade (Sandstorm) explicitly protects one creature from sunburn (and some other natural heat/sun effects) for 1 hour/level, and it's a 1st-level Cleric and Druid spell. Impede Sun's Brilliance (Druid 1, Ranger 1, Summer domain 1) applies pretty much the same effect to creatures in a 10-foot-radius cylinder for 10 minutes/level, so a casting or two is perfect for keeping you and your guests cool at picnics and barbecues.

[Âmesang]

I wonder if I can get those enchanted onto a parasol? :smallsmile:

[LoyalPaladin]

I wonder if I can get those enchanted onto a parasol? :smallsmile:
I wonder what the stats for a parasol as a weapon are...

[umbrapolaris]

You should look into the Pathfinder version by Dreamscarred Press. It's incredibly versatile and fun, plus with the addition of archetypes, the mind blade can be practically anything.

i am aware of this version, it is why i precisely put "3.5" , if i picked the PF version, it would defeat the purpose of the sarcasm (taking a poor class and complaining about it as if is is uber powerful) since it is a quite good class with lot of options/archetypes ;)


It's super effective!
Seriously, as others have said, the base structure is spot-on for some of these posts. The grammar, the organization, really makes it feel like authentic absurdity. Well done. And the little details, like throwing out "anime-esque" in the title like that means something self-explanatory, are particularly well-executed.

Bravo.


Thank you. ;)

[Beheld]

Man.... you know you are getting old when someone posts a hip young parody of a crazy guy with bad English who makes weird Sorcerer posts and the forum is like "Great Joke" and all you can think is "Back in my day we posted parodies of a crazy guy with bad English who made weird Monk posts."

[LoyalPaladin]

Man.... you know you are getting old when someone posts a hip young parody of a crazy guy with bad English who makes weird Sorcerer posts and the forum is like "Great Joke" and all you can think is "Back in my day we posted parodies of a crazy guy with bad English who made weird Monk posts."
Is it Monkday already?

[Inevitability]

Is it Monkday already?

Sorcerous Saturday, perhaps? Or Soulknife Sunday.

Do we have a list of these days?

[LoyalPaladin]

Sorcerous Saturday, perhaps? Or Soulknife Sunday.

Do we have a list of these days?
Soulknife Sunday
Monkday
Tempest Tuesday
Wizard Wednesday (hump dayyyyy)
Theurgeday
Fighter Friday
Sorcerous Saturday

[Extra Anchovies]

Man.... you know you are getting old when someone posts a hip young parody of a crazy guy with bad English who makes weird Sorcerer posts and the forum is like "Great Joke" and all you can think is "Back in my day we posted parodies of a crazy guy with bad English who made weird Monk posts."

Don't worry, I brought the partially charged wands.

[Vizzerdrix]

I wonder what the stats for a parasol as a weapon are...

Parasols can be found in Sandstorm. Id guess 1d4 as an improvised weapon. Maybe 1d3.

[One Step Two]

Don't worry, I brought the partially charged wands.

Of all the things in this thread, this made me completely lose it, well done!

[StreamOfTheSky]

http://www.minmaxboards.com/index.php?topic=6574.0

My contribution: http://www.minmaxboards.com/index.php?topic=6574.0;msg=99828

[Draconium]

http://www.minmaxboards.com/index.php?topic=6574.0

My contribution: http://www.minmaxboards.com/index.php?topic=6574.0;msg=99828

Brilliant. Simply brilliant. Thank you for showing us this masterpiece. :smallbiggrin:

[Zaydos]

My brain is now trying to stat out the flying nimbus as a rideable aberration. I think I need a partially charged wand of memory alteration. In other words good job.

[StreamOfTheSky]

Brilliant. Simply brilliant. Thank you for showing us this masterpiece. :smallbiggrin:
No problem. :smallsmile: This thread immediately reminded me of that one.

My brain is now trying to stat out the flying nimbus as a rideable aberration. I think I need a partially charged wand of memory alteration. In other words good job.

I'd think you'd represent it as some sort of air elemental. There's an animal companion variant to get one.... :smallwink:

[Extra Anchovies]

My brain is now trying to stat out the flying nimbus as a rideable aberration. I think I need a partially charged wand of memory alteration. In other words good job.

You know, I was going to bring up the Skybleeder as a good place to start because it hides in a cloud, but then I pulled up their entry in the Fiend Folio again and, well,

http://i.imgur.com/q20lHeE.png

i'm scared

http://i.imgur.com/jqBJtUn.png

KAORTI ARE TOO ANIME

Seriously, everything about them just screams "edgy anime protagonist". Kaorti PCs "have resisted the psychological transformation into kaorti, and struggle to survive in a hostile world" - so their parents hate them and the whole world is pain. Emo, much? They have a "natural predisposition to become sorcerers" and Kaorti wizards store their spells on resin strips they hang from the ceiling, so a lot of them are just magical for no reason at all and the ones that learned how to cast spells still get their own unique style of magic. But it gets worse: "no instance of a divine spellcaster kaorti has been recorded", so every PC Kaorti cleric or druid, just by existing, gets to be the special snowflake that this race is clearly designed to be.

Don't get me started on kaorti resin. A special material that only they can make, and that crumbles to dust if someone steals it? Every dumb cookie-cutter anime gives the hero some sort of weapon that can't be used against them. And the resin suits, the armor that hurts anyone else who wears it so it can't be stolen and protects the wearer from the effects of the environment so Mr. Chosen-One always has perfect hair in any weather? It even hides their face just like every bland "mysterious" anime hero, I s**t you not. Their ribbon daggers (an exotic weapon they get proficiency with FOR FREE, mind you) are somehow both razor-sharp and super-flexible, a description that gives me flashbacks to all the times stupid katana-worshippers have invaded our forum to whine about how "misrepresented" their favorite anime weapon is. I thought this was Dungeons and Dragons, not Katanas and Kawaii!

You think that's bad enough? Wait until you hear about their spell-like abilities. The biggest offenders are Alter Self so they can always maintain a perfect appearance, which in the average Kaorti player's mind probably means spiky hair, huge eyes, and cat ears, Feather Fall so they can drop from absurd heights without a scratch (obviously for stupid high-jump attacks), Spider Climb so they can straight-up walk on walls, Matrix-style, whenever they want to, and Reduce Person so they can literally turn other people into chibi versions of themselves. They also get Color Spray and Ray of Enfeeblement, because no dumba** anime hero is complete without a way to make their enemies get weaker or just fall unconscious for no reason. All together that's five first-level spells and one second-level spell, all of which are classic D&D staples, so they're pretty much getting a level of wizard, for free, on top of everything else that's wrong with this monster. Oh, it makes my blood boil!

[Inevitability]

Actually, Kaorti are Outsiders, so Reduce Person won't work on them.

[Yael]

Still can't beat the ultimate class: The monk.

[LoyalPaladin]

Parasols can be found in Sandstorm. Id guess 1d4 as an improvised weapon. Maybe 1d3.
Didn't believe it. Looked it up. Not disappointed. Is there a way to make an indestructible improvised weapon? I feel a build coming on.

[Inevitability]

Didn't believe it. Looked it up. Not disappointed. Is there a way to make an indestructible improvised weapon? I feel a build coming on.

Make it out of riverine?

[Extra Anchovies]

Didn't believe it. Looked it up. Not disappointed. Is there a way to make an indestructible improvised weapon? I feel a build coming on.

Perhaps a Psychic Warrior with the Soulbound Weapon ACF (from this (http://archive.wizards.com/default.asp?x=dnd/psm/20070214a) Mind's Eye)?

There's also the -4 penalty to hit for using an improvised weapon, which is tricky to deal with. Maybe EWP (Umbrella)? Complete Warrior supports the penalty being due to nonproficiency:

Any creature using an improvised weapon—from a broken bottle to a barstool—in a fight is considered to be nonproficient with it and thus takes a –4 penalty on attack rolls made with it


Make it out of riverine?

The Riverine entry doesn't say anything about weapons, so I don't know if riverine weapons (especially piercing weapons like an umbrella) are possible.

Tangent: I just looked at the Drunken Master, and they get a number of class features that enhance improvised weapons, but none of them affect the nonproficiency penalty. Ah, WotC. :smallsigh:

[dascarletm]

To OP:

I 124850% agre. The secnd somone evn mentios using that weeaboo wannabe clas, I imeditly kik them out of the hous. Irregaurdles of whos hous it is