Men wearing necklaces [Archive] - Giant in the Playground Forums

Jeivar

2016-10-17, 04:24 PM

gooddragon1

2016-10-17, 04:57 PM

I'm in my thirties and I've never put much thought into my appearance, but that's been changing lately. I'm actually wearing things besides blue jeans and plaid shirts, and I've been thinking about accessories.

Forgive me for coming across like an insecure sitcom dad, but I kind of wanted to get people's opinion on this necklace (https://ae01.alicdn.com/kf/HTB1_xxXKVXXXXbbXXXXq6xXFXXXq/3PCS-Lot-New-Fashion-Women-Punk-Gothic-Style-Long-Black-font-b-Velvet-b-font-font.jpg) that has caught my attention. It's listed as unisex on the site that is selling it, but would you consider it... girly?

Let's pause to reflect on some partially related wisdom from Elim Garak

"Treason, like beauty, is in the eye of the beholder."

My opinion is yes. But that's my opinion. I'd go for a dark colored mineral or crystal. A silver or metal cartouche (https://www.google.com/webhp?ie=utf-8&oe=utf-8#q=cartouche) with your name in hieroglyphics could be cool (just a suggestion).

EDIT: For more on my reasoning as to why... it's too light "weight" as a necklace.

Liquor Box

2016-10-17, 05:06 PM

I agree with Gooddragon. I don't think it would be considered very masculine where I am from. But I suspect norms as to what is manly and what is not varies greatly from culture to culture, so you may want to ask the opinion of people from Iceland, or from cultures that dress similarly to people from Iceland.

Jeivar

2016-10-17, 05:13 PM

My opinion is yes. But that's my opinion. I'd go for a dark colored mineral or crystal. A silver or metal cartouche (https://www.google.com/webhp?ie=utf-8&oe=utf-8#q=cartouche) with your name in hieroglyphics could be cool (just a suggestion).

Hmm. I appreciate the suggestion, but what draws me to that particular necklace is the simplicity and unobtrusiveness. I don't like metal or shiny stuff. I prefer simple clothing.

Dodom

2016-10-17, 06:31 PM

My opinion would be that the effect would vary a lot depending on what you wear with it. If you go for thin fabrics and flat cuts (linen shirts, t-shirts...), it'll fit right in. If you're more into sweaters and other bulky clothes, then it'll stand out as more delicate than the rest and I guess that could evocate "girly".

Crow

2016-10-17, 06:39 PM

Wear whatever the hell you want, bro.

Scarlet Knight

2016-10-17, 08:01 PM

That is basically a bolo tie, which was popular even when I was young and when worn right, is definitly masculine.

http://cbssports.com/images/blogs/the-boss-bolo-tie.jpg

gooddragon1

2016-10-17, 08:44 PM

That is basically a bolo tie, which was popular even when I was young and when worn right, is definitly masculine.

http://cbssports.com/images/blogs/the-boss-bolo-tie.jpg

Remember my comment about weight? Notice the little heart accessory. Gives it weight.

https://www.birchbox.com/images/uploads/January_GrammysRoundup_700x400.jpg
https://vintagethreadspeckham.files.wordpress.com/2011/08/pulp-fiction-splash.jpg?quality=90
https://images-na.ssl-images-amazon.com/images/I/31MaX%2BPFA1L._AC_UL200_SR146,200_.jpg

Makes all the difference.

Winter_Wolf

2016-10-17, 08:50 PM

My vote goes for a bolo tie if you're looking into those kinds of neck gear. In my experience and seeing other men with neck-wear, a fine string or chain doesn't do you any favors.

Personally when I can wear a necklace (does not mesh well with granny grabby toddler!) I wear a fairly heavy gauge sterling silver chain with no adornment else I hang my silver ring from it.

Or you could go the Flava Flav route, but that's really the opposite of understated.

Serpentine

2016-10-18, 05:52 AM

Are you a "girly" person? No? Then if you wear it it's not girly. If you like it, wear it.

In terms of general current cultural standards of feminine/masculine aesthetics, to me it looks decidedly neutral, veering masculine. As mentioned, what you wear with it will probably be the decider.

Knaight

2016-10-18, 06:41 AM

It's looks feminine in the picture, but that's because it's on the neck of someone who is presenting as feminine. Taken out of that context (in my case by picturing it on someone who wears similar and who definitely comes across as highly masculine), it's really not. Of course, there's also the matter of how much you care. Some people will read just about any necklace as girly, and if that's a problem for you then avoid necklaces. If it's an "eh, whatever" type of situation go for it.

Frozen_Feet

2016-10-18, 07:54 AM

Ninja_Prawn

2016-10-18, 08:14 AM

so you may want to ask the opinion of people from Iceland, or from cultures that dress similarly to people from Iceland.

I'm not from Iceland, but I spent some time there recently. What I've seen of Icelandic fashion tends towards the practical and casual, and there wasn't a wide gulf between what men and women wore. I suspect this necklace would fit right in on most Icelanders.

Rockphed

2016-10-18, 08:26 AM

No it doesn't look girly.

The person in the picture looka girly, but that's because of the shirt color, long hair and V-shaped neckline.

With a higher, U-shaped neckline it'd be indistinquishable from cords on a sweater shirt. It's about as neutral as jewelry as can be.

I think the way it is worn (wrapped around the neck twice with short ends) is what looks feminine. The female model doesn't help. I agree with the posters above that recommended bolo ties. When I first looked at the picture I said, in my mind, "even taken off the girl, that doesn't look very masculine. Why?" After a couple minutes I thought of the ties that cowboys wear, though I could not remember what they are called. They are normally leather or braided cord with metal ends (exactly like the pictured item). The only difference is that the tie is held by a slide of some sort. Looking around, bolo-slides are typically somewhat flashy. Hmmm, this requires more subtlety than that.

Telonius

2016-10-18, 08:42 AM

The slide clasp is really going to make the difference there. I'm from the US, and am used to seeing them with something holding it together, so bear that in mind; but without a clasp it just looks odd to me. There are small, understated clasps for them (they don't all have to be cow skulls or huge turquoise things). If you can find one of them it'll probably look good.

gooddragon1

2016-10-18, 02:02 PM

To be fair, I've seen guys wear pink shirts saying "tough enough to wear pink". The decision of what is and is not something in fashion changes like the wind.

This post is mainly an excuse to link this video by garak on fashion: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2jW5weeu3kQ

Vinyadan

2016-10-18, 02:20 PM

I guess a bolo tie isn't something you would see in Europe, although it definitely is masculine.

I personally don't see many men wearing necklaces unless they are military/rapper/baptismal gear. Ties are easier to find on men.

Is the double lap part of the necklace? That's definitely feminine to me. Otherwise, without double lap, it's unisex for me, as long as it's kept underneath your clothing and visible through the neckline.

I also see a necklace as a very distinct feature from a (bolo) tie.

sktarq

2016-10-18, 02:44 PM

I'd agree that's it is the multi wrap of the neck that makes this look more feminine than masculine for me. It will not work all that well with either broad necks or prominent adam's apples. Also that it is being worn separately from the doesn't help. A bolo focuses on the vertical lines and hides the neck wrap under a collar-without that I'd say you want to wear the join a bit lower - basically the joint of your collarbones is about as high as I'd recommend taking it.

Flickerdart

2016-10-18, 02:48 PM

CurlyKitGirl

2016-10-18, 02:53 PM

The simple fact is this: do you want to wear one? Do you want to wear it regardless of any negative reactions it might create? If you can answer 'yes' to both questions then buy it and wear it. NO one else's opinion matters but yours. If it makes you feel good about yourself and the way you look then, to paraphrase someone or other: 'wear and be damned'!

As for me (and remember, my opinion is nothing compared to your own), I think it's a nice neutral necklace. If someone who presents as female wears it, especially double-looped around the neck like that or with a nice feminine top, then it'll look feminine. If someone who presents as masculine wears it, or someone who wears masculine clothing wears it, it'll look masculine.
It'll look good in both casual and semi-formal situations as well, it's fairly discreet and if you want you could even treat it as being the first step on the road to wearing more noticeable/elaborate necklaces on a regular basis. Or you could just buy necklaces along those lines for the rest of your life if you so please. It's what you want that matters the most. :smallsmile:

tensai_oni

2016-10-18, 03:06 PM

Remember my comment about weight? Notice the little heart accessory. Gives it weight.

Personal opinion of taste but I actually like it better without the clasp thing. The examples you linked don't look heavier, they just look gaudier. OP's picture is simple and understated, and gender neutral because of that.

Scarlet Knight

2016-10-19, 09:48 PM

The clasp is what makes it decorative. Without a clasp, you've only put a shoelace around your neck.

Haruki-kun

2016-10-19, 10:43 PM

I think it looks pretty unisex. Depends on what you wear it with.

golentan

2016-10-19, 11:16 PM

Mostly, I think it looks nice.

Themrys

2016-10-25, 04:54 AM

You want my opinion on men wearing necklaces?

This is my opinion on men wearing necklaces:

http://www.deviantart.com/art/Winternight-582912404

In other words, I read too much fantasy literature to even care what the culture of the country I live in thinks of men wearing necklaces.

Regarding the one you have linked to, it looks like a shoelace with shiny ends. Men wear shoelaces. More neutral than that, you will hardly ever get.

Cease choosing your accessories depending on whether they look masculine. Whether they look good on you is the important thing.

The_Admiral

2016-10-25, 07:14 AM

No, also Dad's a roman catholic, gold crucifix necklace at all times, so, not 'girly' whatever that is.

Liquor Box

2016-10-25, 03:51 PM

For me it's the tightness of the necklace around the neck that suggests a more feminine accessory. Men's necklaces, in my mind's eye, are looser - but maybe it's because the only two situations I can think of where a man would wear a necklace are crosses (which are largely standardized) and the sort of person that walks around with their shirt half unbuttoned (and so the necklace needs to be long, and thus loose, to occupy the enlarged chest area).

You forgot gangster rappers.

https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/originals/12/57/64/1257645de63d292cb93e7c7a994c8cc2.jpg

Not sure an ordinary, non-gangster rapper type could pull it off though.

Edit: Gooddragon's heaviness rule does seem to hold though.

sktarq

2016-10-25, 10:30 PM

Okay thoughts on a "masculine" "unisex" or "feminine" necklaces etc.

The eye uses so much relative shape and line to create images placing clothes, patterns, jewelry in certain ways can effect how we see the person who is wearing it. Vertical lines make people seem taller and thinner by focusing the eye in that direction. Similarly stripes across the chest can make it seem broader. . . thus why they got used in sports like rugby so much. Color blocking to produce an hourglass figure is probably one of the most noticeable examples.

Women and men's bodies are also different in certain ways. And not just in plumbing. and while there is a large amount of overlap between the genders things like a heavier brow, high shoulder to waist ratios, and prominent Adam's apple's are all associated with maleness. More glacile facial features, thinner necks, etc are more feminine. Basic human sexual dimorphism.

So far I don't think I've said much new but its where the two above concepts interact that I define jewelry etc as gendered if not clearly culturally marked is if the piece uses the first effect of tricking the eye into seeing the person with different proportions in a manner that is associated with sexual dimorphism. And yes I think the vast majority of people wear things that push them to a more extreme version of the sexual dimorphism rather than toward the center.

The item shown I think does this. I think it narrows the shoulders/chest and shrinks the neck. As those are both feminine traits I

lylsyly

2016-10-26, 07:06 AM

I think it does look somewhat feminine, however, I am male and I would wear it in a heartbeat (course, I'm gay so...)

Lacco

2016-10-26, 07:52 AM

If you like it, don't care what people think. Life's too short, wear whatever you want.

If you want to go further: you are unsure enough to ask people on the net about it, so make sure you are comfortable with wearing something like that (size, style). That goes along with any kind of clothes/accessories, because if you are feeling uncomfortable, you will look uncomfortable.

Once I came upon a statement, that men should wear only 3 kinds of accessories with casual clothes: wedding ring (if applicable), sign of their faith (if any) and watches. Can't go wrong there usually... but try wearing spaghetti sifter on your head to work... :smallbiggrin:

Keltest

2016-10-26, 08:02 AM

I don't think it looks "too feminine", whatever that actually means, but I do think it looks, well... boring. I'm of the opinion that if youre going to wear a necklace it should either be visible and stand out, or have some sort of meaning to you (or both). Otherwise, well, someone mentioned wearing a shoelace around your neck earlier.

Flickerdart

2016-10-28, 08:45 AM

You forgot gangster rappers.

That's not a necklace, that's the Spanish treasure fleet.

cobaltstarfire

2016-10-28, 05:44 PM

I don't understand jewelry...

I don't understand why being wrapped around a neck twice would make a necklace more feminine? Does the double wrap somehow make it feel more 'delicate', and thus 'feminine'?

It looks simple, and neutral to me.

If you like the necklace wear it, it'll probably look nice.

Disclaimer: I do not wear jewelry at all nor am I known for adhering to or caring about what "gender" a thing has been assigned for. Though I suppose it's easier for someone presenting female to get away with dressing "masculine" than the other way around...

tantric

2016-10-29, 12:45 AM

to be helpful, i went on etsy.com (vintage and ethic garb) and found some men's necklaces.

men's necklaces (https://www.etsy.com/search?q=necklaces%20for%20men)

i wear a buddha on a beaded lamp cord chain.

huttj509

2016-10-29, 10:33 AM

Ooh, here's an idea.

The weight would be all wrong, but to get a feel for things try taking a long black shoelace and wrapping it around your neck like that.

A lot of the look depends on your personal proportions, style, and taste. I know blokes on whom that necklace would look fine, I know blokes on whom it would look odd.

As an example (though different concerns), I have a hat I wear often. On some people it looks a bit off, but when I look in the mirror I see me looking back. I feel it fits me (it also has personal sentiment, no, I didn't get it from George RR Martin, I got it from my grandpa TYVM).

A friend of mine has a hat he wears often. On him it looks awesome, on me it just looks goofy. His head is narrower than mine and it changes the flow.

Bohandas

2016-10-29, 11:50 PM

"Treason, like beauty, is in the eye of the beholder."

Also deathrays

kraftcheese

2016-10-30, 07:36 AM

It looks like something a surfer would wear I guess?

If you like it, wear it! Why not?

Foxtail

2016-10-30, 08:36 AM

I'm usually the guy who just says "If you like it then go ahead, don't care about what other say." but even so, I don't think it's necessarily feminine. If you think it looks good, I wouldn't think it'd look out of place.

NickNgaruiya

2018-07-13, 08:03 AM

You don’t need any special training to recognize bracelets that go for men. Thin metal bands with precious stones are exclusively for women. Pretty much the other type of bracelets goes for males, as well. But here are a few that are the most common for menswear.

Honest Tiefling

2018-07-13, 09:48 AM

If you were American, I'd suggest a nice, good watch that will match most of your clothes as an accessory. Iceland? No idea. My best guess is that if you like something like it, try to make it more masculine. I doubt bolo ties are widely known in Iceland.

One idea is to make it more masculine. The cord should perhaps be thicker and not as tightly wrapped around your neck. You don't want to emphasize how tiny your neck is, unlike the model. If you can get a leather version, the material itself might help. I do suggest adding a thicker piece somewhere to it, even if you don't like metal.

Have you considered going to a jewelry store? They want your money, sure, but they can usually offer some advice more relevant to your region. They want you to be happy with their purchase, after all.

AuthorGirl

2018-07-13, 11:33 AM

As a girl whose family has quite strict ideas of appropriate femininity, I'd find it too masculine to wear without risking an argument. So there's that.

Seriously, though: life's short and you're a grown adult. Wear what you want.

Kyberwulf

2018-07-13, 01:34 PM

I find it a good rule of thumb, that if anything is referred to as "unisex"... then it usually isn't.

The thing about bolo ties, is that you can really only wear those, if you are from the south (usually Texas) have an oil field, and have a drawl.

I noticed you said, Accessorizing, how tied are you to necklaces? Because, in my limited experience, only two types of people wear necklaces. Women, and men who want to show off their wealth. I mean baring religion or showing something significant (such as a wedding ring on a chain), which I assume isn't you since you mention it as accessorizing. I also assume that you don't want to show off since you also mentioned not liking metal, or shiny, and liking unobtrusive and simple.

I second, going to stores and asking around, or if you have a friend who shares the same kind of look you are going for as him. Ask some other people in your life if you know them. If you want to ask randos on the internet, try to bring some other things to show what you are wearing besides the necklace. Because, as far as accessories go, we need to see what you are "Accessorizing" to tell you if it looks good or not. I mean, you could dress like Eminem, and ask us if adding a stetson would make you look to "cowboy"... and we wouldn't know.

2D8HP

2018-07-13, 05:15 PM

In counterpoint

http://lastfm-img2.akamaized.net/i/u/770x0/2f9e0bc06a7c44d5b358243a454cb428.jpg

http://images1.dallasobserver.com/imager/u/original/7059208/screamingjay.jpg
Do not ask if what you want is "girly" remember that un hombre macho no pregunta, él es!

Honest Tiefling

2018-07-14, 10:03 AM

I mean baring religion or showing something significant (such as a wedding ring on a chain), which I assume isn't you since you mention it as accessorizing. I also assume that you don't want to show off since you also mentioned not liking metal, or shiny, and liking unobtrusive and simple.

Could be a way to gain confidence in your jewelry selection. Get an item that represents a cause/belief/memory you have and put it on a thicker, plainer leather cord. If anyone asks, you have a way to make them feel bad.

Lemmy

2018-07-14, 02:25 PM

Well... The guy asked the question 2 years ago, so at this point he probably already got his accessory or gave up the idea. :smallbiggrin:

Gravitron5000

2018-07-16, 08:14 AM

That's not a necklace, that's the Spanish treasure fleet.

Who knew that this whole time they were rapping about booty, they were actually talking about buried treasure? :smallbiggrin:

dehro

2018-07-17, 05:14 AM

I think what matters is that you're comfortable with it. if you are, whether it's girly or not is completely irrelevant.
There are always going to be men and women out there who have an opinion about anything you put on, or take off.
Put it this way.. would it be girly if, say, Jason Momoa, Brad Pitt or Johnny Depp wore it?
Is make-up in general particularly girly or effeminate?
Truth is, most jewelry, perfume and ways to adorn oneself were developed by men, for men, at least initially; like high heels, just to name one, intended to make one look taller and more imposing.
Every society has it's own particular hang-ups.. but that's all they are. Pink shirts would be a no-no for a guy in certain countries. In Italy they're perfectly fine. Skirts would be frowned upon in many countries.. but there are plenty of countries where they are acceptable... Plenty of dudes in Asia use make-up and have droves of girls chasing them.
It's all equally pointless and gains significance only when you give it value.
If you like it, wear it.

Lvl 2 Expert

2018-07-17, 06:29 AM

EDIT: Ah dammit, got suckered into necroreplying. In general I don't like the rules against that, but for advice topics thay're a good thing. Anyway, I wrote it already:

I'm going to skip the whole discussion on "you should wear what you like", because you should wear what you like. I'm instead going to analyse what looks traditionally masculine and feminine about this necklace.

The necklace is simple, made from mostly everyday materials and generally looks not jewelry like. That's unisex or maybe even masculine. A girl could use an accessory like this to look a bit more tomboyish or less "trying hard to look pretty" while still using jewelry to not look too bland or casual.

Another aspect of the necklace is that it's thin and lacy, and that's kind of feminine. Imagine the same simple lace with a shark tooth or a raptor/bear claw on it. That's manly. It has the same simple materials and natural look, but like other examples people gave, it adds some weight to it. Some nice woodwork on a string could work as well, or even some bronze or copper ornament because of how unlike gold and silver it looks.

In that sense the bolo ties some people linked seem design wise almost the opposite of this, yet very similar in overall effect. They look like jewelry, they're elaborate and metally, but they add some weight and size to compensate and become more manly. They're not something you would wear when you want to be the manliest man around, more something a man would tack on to an outfit to show sophistication or a gentler side, or even "I'm so manly I'm still the man while wearing this". (I guess rapper bling is kind of the exception, because of how ridiculously they often overdo the size and weight aspect and how it's tied to a specific subculture and has build up meaning within and through that.)

So yeah, I would definitely say this has a unisex or feminine quality to it, similar to guys wearing earrings. If you're trying to be conscious about the signals the stuff you're wearing give off, this will give many people some sort of feminine or unisex signal. Depending on the viewer, the rest of your clothing and just how you yourself look you might be seen as sensitive, deeper than meets the eye, sophisticated, gay (doesn't even have to be by people who have certain negative perceptions off that matter, it's just in general an impression some people could get), or just plain so secure in your masculinity that you can throw on anything, like an 80's rocker. That's my take on it anyway.

Vinyadan

2018-07-17, 11:09 AM

What about men-wearing necklaces, though?

Corsair14

2018-07-17, 11:25 AM

As an amature jeweler, I tend to refer men to silvers, tribal and jade. I cant actually see the original pic as its blocked where I am. Neutral or earthtone stones, or on darker skinned individuals smaller turquoise and silver pieces. Certianly no brighter than that.

darkrose50

2018-07-23, 03:03 PM

That looks a LOT like a Bolo tie . . . (In a Simpson hillbilly voice) that cowboy thingum what cowboys wear. Looking like a cowboy is manly, I bet.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bolo_tie

-----

At work we wear lanyards with our work ID on them. They just started color coding them . . . like from PARANOIA . . . sort of. I am purple, and in Paranoia that is second to the highest rank (8/9), but sadly here at work it is the middle 3/5 one.

-----

When on vacation to someplace like Disney or while at a convention to someplace like GenCon I wear a belt pouch / fanny pack. Those are now in style with 20-something girls that go to clubs. I am guessing so that they can have a phone in one hand and a drink in the other, and not worry too much about their purse.

------

That is basically a bolo tie, which was popular even when I was young and when worn right, is definitly masculine.

http://cbssports.com/images/blogs/the-boss-bolo-tie.jpg

You beat me to the punch!

-----

To be fair, I've seen guys wear pink shirts saying "tough enough to wear pink". The decision of what is and is not something in fashion changes like the wind.

This post is mainly an excuse to link this video by garak on fashion: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2jW5weeu3kQ

Pink was once a mans color . . . all the red-like colors were . . . because blood . . . and how we would be all manly and make it come out of other manly men. Men also used to get all the flower names.

sktarq

2018-07-23, 03:35 PM

Pink was once a mans color . . . all the red-like colors were . . . because blood . . . and how we would be all manly and make it come out of other manly men. Men also used to get all the flower names.

Yes but the French Men liked it....And thus the Brits started calling Pink a feminine colour as a way of calling into question the masculinity of the French. And the via the British empire and the like and that norm became phenomenally widespread.

Because the British be using colour to play with the heads of the continental types...again.

- see also using a Mexican red dye to make "redcoats" a law in order to A: Provide a market for all the dye the privateers were raiding from the Spanish and B: to publically make fun of the Spanish by declaring their confidence in their ability to KEEP raiding the Spanish galleons on their way be from the new world.

Liquor Box

2018-07-23, 04:41 PM

Yes but the French Men liked it....And thus the Brits started calling Pink a feminine colour as a way of calling into question the masculinity of the French. And the via the British empire and the like and that norm became phenomenally widespread.

Because the British be using colour to play with the heads of the continental types...again.

- see also using a Mexican red dye to make "redcoats" a law in order to A: Provide a market for all the dye the privateers were raiding from the Spanish and B: to publically make fun of the Spanish by declaring their confidence in their ability to KEEP raiding the Spanish galleons on their way be from the new world.

If that's true, I think it is hilarious that the idea that pink is not for men came from the English wanting to call the masculinity of the French into question.

Xuc Xac

2018-07-24, 03:33 AM

Yes but the French Men liked it....And thus the Brits started calling Pink a feminine colour as a way of calling into question the masculinity of the French. And the via the British empire and the like and that norm became phenomenally widespread.

Because the British be using colour to play with the heads of the continental types...again.

The idea that pink is for girls started after World War II, because department stores and fashion retailers all pushed it as part of a "return to peace time/end of rationing/let's all relax" marketing campaign. Women could stop wearing blue cotton work shirts and leave their factory jobs, so why not go the complete opposite of blue denim? Frilly pink aprons and skirts for staying at home!

People bought into it hard. "Pink is for girls" was what baby boomers grew up with. Like everything else that happened more than twice to a baby boomer, it was assumed to be a tradition handed down from time immemorial.

Knaight

2018-07-24, 08:13 AM

Like everything else that happened more than twice to a baby boomer, it was assumed to be a tradition handed down from time immemorial.

Mind if I borrow this phrase? It's a thing of beauty.

sktarq

2018-07-24, 09:17 AM

The idea that pink is for girls started after World War II,.....
People bought into it hard. "Pink is for girls" was what baby boomers grew up with. Like everything else that happened more than twice to a baby boomer, it was assumed to be a tradition handed down from time immemorial.

Not quite, though that is where it rises in popularity again.

the had faded somewhat but was a thing before that-esp in England....the baby boomers brought it back and Americanized it though.

Jay R

2018-07-29, 10:23 AM

"Ignore what other people think" is just as wrong as "do what other people think," and for the same reasons.

Make your own decisions, based on all the information - and that includes what the people you care about think.

[Note that if somebody tells you to ignore everybody else's opinion, they are implicitly declaring that you should not ignore theirs.]

In the specific example of the necklace, it depends so much on what else you're wearing, how you look, where you intend to wear it, what other people wear to the same venue, etc., that we can't give very informed advice.

I recommend asking somebody whose fashion sense you trust, and whose opinion matters to you, a more specific question, like, "How would this necklace look with this shirt, at the barbecue next Saturday?"

Sinewmire

2018-08-01, 07:50 AM

When I'm wanting to be dressy, I have a bronze rectangular pendant, about the height and width of a thumb, covered in norse knotwork that I wear on a leather string around my neck at just above open-shirt collar height. I think it makes me like a self-absorbed d-bag, but I tend to underplay everything too much, and I also think it looks quite good and so does my girlfriend, so I do it.

Generally in my opinion I'd say traditionally feminine neck-wear tends to be fiddlier, and comprised of smaller intricate pieces, where mens' tends to be larger individual pieces (although they can be intricate items). Gold chains were all the rage back in the noughties, there's always some dude wearing bear claws or sharks' teeth.

Knaight

2018-08-01, 12:45 PM

"Ignore what other people think" is just as wrong as "do what other people think," and for the same reasons.

...

[Note that if somebody tells you to ignore everybody else's opinion, they are implicitly declaring that you should not ignore theirs.]

Not necessarily - there's a fairly clean transition here. "Ignore what other people think" is effectively a shorthand for "switch your way of thinking about this topic from one that takes other's preferences into account, to one that ignores them". You're addressing the person at the first part of the transition, where they currently don't ignore opinions. In the second part of the transition you may well be asking them to blow you off just like everyone else.

Themrys

2018-08-01, 04:35 PM

"Ignore what other people think" is just as wrong as "do what other people think," and for the same reasons.

I don't ignore what other people think.

I pay attention to it and then very deliberately and intentionally do the opposite. :smallbiggrin:

(Well, most people. My friends tend to agree with my course of action, that's why they are my friends)

With regard to the wearing of necklaces as a male, I'd think about whether I'd endanger my life and/or seriously damage my social standing by going against gender norms in this way. If not - well, gender norms need to be challenged regularly so that people get used to the fact that their silly ideas aren't law.

Otherwise, you might end up with the silly gender norms actually becoming laws, and next thing you know, you live in a dystopia a la Handmaid's Tale.

Besides, I just prefer to do what I want, if it is at all possible to do so without getting myself killed, or unemployed.

Male necklace-wearing just pushes the boundaries a bit.

If Aragorn does it, it can't be wrong. :smalltongue:

Dienekes

2018-08-01, 05:05 PM

Looking at that specific necklace?

Yeah, looks a bit feminine to me. But, hell, I regularly have male patrons that wear full on dresses and make-up. If you like the necklace, wear it. Be comfortable with your masculinity. You don't need to prove you have testes to anybody.

dehro

2018-08-02, 05:16 PM

https://www.usakilts.com/media/catalog/product/cache/1/small_image/260x260/9df78eab33525d08d6e5fb8d27136e95/c/e/celtic-nations-8-yarder-pc_1.jpg
https://bbook.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/11/1.51681_image.jpg
https://skinmagonline.files.wordpress.com/2011/10/meninheels.jpg

Liquor Box

2018-08-02, 06:24 PM

dehro

2018-08-03, 04:21 AM

I wonder how helpful all the "who cares what people think, just wear what you like" comments really are. Sure that is one approach, and if it is yours, by all means take it.

But it is clear from the opening post that Jeivar was concerned about conforming to fashion trends for men. He is clearly making an effort to become more fashionable (the word fashionable itself implies having regard to what other people think) and is asking for help in determining what is fashionable for a man. Conforming to norms in terms of clothing can have real benefits in terms of social acceptance - if you want to make a choice to reject those norms and not seek acceptance from those that value them, then that is a choice for you - but it is not the choice that the OP has made.

The OP is probably strutting down catwalks by now, given how old this thread is..
His concern was whether a specific necklace would be considered girly. My counterpoint to that is that I don't think any item of clothing or accessory is inherently girly and that it entirely depends on context. I am making an assumption here, but to pause and consider whether an item of clothing might appear girly, I would say, that the fear is that it could detract from someone's masculinity or may hint at a non cis-gender/hetero personal identity. I think that that's not the case. Put simply, if I were to wear a tiara, nobody would think of me as any less masculine than I am and I would still be regarded as that bearded bloke with a tiara on his head.
Likewise, I don't think anyone would make assumptions on the sexual inclination or manliness of the people I posted the pictures of based on their use of a stereotipically female item of clothing (admittedly, I went sort of hyperbole with them, but they illustrate the point). So.. a specific necklace that may be designed and marketed to be a little more geared towards a female wearer doesn't really say anything about the guy who might chose to wear it. If it fits the rest of one's look well, then the "potential girlyness" of the necklace doesn't matter at all.

I mean, on a purely personal level.. take Eddie Izzard for example, who actually IS transgender and has done quite a few shows dressed and made up as a woman.. for the longest time I've watched those early shows and thought that they were just part of his routine and had nothing to do with his sexual orientation, which I rated as "just another hetero guy". If a guy can pull off an entire trans/female look and still not make me question his sexual orientation, you will see how it would be hard for me to question the "manliness" of a guy (or a guy's look) based on his necklace of choice, especially when, like in this case, the girliness of said necklace really isn't established.
I understand that that's a very personal take, and that others may react differently to that necklace in particular.. but, well.. I don't think there's an universal truth to the matter to be found, so the best I can offer is my opinion.

Liquor Box

2018-08-08, 03:44 AM

The OP is probably strutting down catwalks by now, given how old this thread is..
His concern was whether a specific necklace would be considered girly. My counterpoint to that is that I don't think any item of clothing or accessory is inherently girly and that it entirely depends on context. I am making an assumption here, but to pause and consider whether an item of clothing might appear girly, I would say, that the fear is that it could detract from someone's masculinity or may hint at a non cis-gender/hetero personal identity. I think that that's not the case. Put simply, if I were to wear a tiara, nobody would think of me as any less masculine than I am and I would still be regarded as that bearded bloke with a tiara on his head.
Likewise, I don't think anyone would make assumptions on the sexual inclination or manliness of the people I posted the pictures of based on their use of a stereotipically female item of clothing (admittedly, I went sort of hyperbole with them, but they illustrate the point). So.. a specific necklace that may be designed and marketed to be a little more geared towards a female wearer doesn't really say anything about the guy who might chose to wear it. If it fits the rest of one's look well, then the "potential girlyness" of the necklace doesn't matter at all.

I mean, on a purely personal level.. take Eddie Izzard for example, who actually IS transgender and has done quite a few shows dressed and made up as a woman.. for the longest time I've watched those early shows and thought that they were just part of his routine and had nothing to do with his sexual orientation, which I rated as "just another hetero guy". If a guy can pull off an entire trans/female look and still not make me question his sexual orientation, you will see how it would be hard for me to question the "manliness" of a guy (or a guy's look) based on his necklace of choice, especially when, like in this case, the girliness of said necklace really isn't established.
I understand that that's a very personal take, and that others may react differently to that necklace in particular.. but, well.. I don't think there's an universal truth to the matter to be found, so the best I can offer is my opinion.

I wasn't really referring to your comment, and I agree that in different cultures and context different necklaces might be seen as masculine or feminine.

I'm just saying that people who are telling the OP to not worry what people think etc (which I don't think you did) are not being helpful given that he obviously does care what people think.

candys

2018-08-16, 12:48 PM

I think it looks very stylish and I don't see anything wrong with that. I ordered very cool necklaces on eBay my bf a few weeks ago but my parcel was lost. As it turned out I entered the wrong postal code. Now I check it through site (https://worldpostalcode.com/singapore/) twice to avoid such mistakes. Want to order this one next time
https://img.etsystatic.com/il/c9ffe6/486278344/il_570xN.486278344_8m5c.jpg?version=0

Tvtyrant

2018-08-16, 08:11 PM

I noticed recently that you.can buy megalodon teeth on ebay, and I was wondering if using one in a necklace would be gaudy or over the top? You can get a three+ inch long one for fairly cheap.

Lvl 2 Expert

2018-08-17, 11:32 AM

I noticed recently that you.can buy megalodon teeth on ebay, and I was wondering if using one in a necklace would be gaudy or over the top? You can get a three+ inch long one for fairly cheap.

Depends on how you sell it and how other people interpret it. 3+ inches is pretty big for anything hanging around your neck, and even kind of large for a semi-sharp object being carried in public. People could think it's fake as well. Because obviously shark teeth aren't that large.

However, just as with the other necklace: nobody can tell what specific other people will think off it. Some people will think it's really cool. Some people will like the story behind it/the fact that this is megalodon, why didn't they find out you can buy megalodon teeth now first? In general the impressions people get will range from manly to adventurous, to nerdy, to trying too hard. If you dislike only one of those options, it could be worth it...

Tvtyrant

2018-08-17, 01:46 PM

Depends on how you sell it and how other people interpret it. 3+ inches is pretty big for anything hanging around your neck, and even kind of large for a semi-sharp object being carried in public. People could think it's fake as well. Because obviously shark teeth aren't that large.

However, just as with the other necklace: nobody can tell what specific other people will think off it. Some people will think it's really cool. Some people will like the story behind it/the fact that this is megalodon, why didn't they find out you can buy megalodon teeth now first? In general the impressions people get will range from manly to adventurous, to nerdy, to trying too hard. If you dislike only one of those options, it could be worth it...

Summers ending soon so it will be out of season by the time I put it together anyway. :/

I will probably end up using it as beach wear, like my straw hat and tourist clothes.

Bartmanhomer

2018-08-17, 03:01 PM

Are you serious? I see men wear skirts when I come from. So no men wearing necklaces isn't girly. :annoyed:

dethkruzer

2018-08-17, 05:39 PM

Just to add my two cents to OP, I wouldn't say it looks all that masculine, but there's really nothing feminine I see to it either. It's something I think would suit my personal tastes, but I could see it complementing the right clothing choices.

I myself usually prefer silver jewelry when it comes to something hanging around my neck, up until around the turn of the year I used to wear this silver disk that had... I think it was Hebrew scripture or something like that engraved into it, at least I did until the leather cord broke. Aside from that, the only piece of jewelry I tend to wear is this stainless steel ring I keep on my right index finger.

But yeah, if you like it, I'd say wear it.