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View Full Version : Someday, We'll All Look Back at This and Laugh



TigerHunter
2007-07-11, 07:40 PM
So... I rode my bike to the bookstore today. It's eight miles away, but it's good exercise and I prefer riding to driving anyways. Picked up the Spell Compendium and draped the bag over the handlebars, then pedaled off towards home.
Far enough away from the bookstore that going back isn't an attractive option, guess what? The bag rips. So not only does my shiny new book fall down onto sharp gravel rocks and get all scratched up, I now have no way of holding it. My bike bag is just right for paperbacks, but textbook-size is beyond it's capacity. So I end up steering with one hand and holding it in the other.
Bikes have two handlebars for a reason. Rapid deceleration? Good luck. Sharp turns? Fat chance. Rapid deceleration in preparation for a sharp turn? Hope you're wearing a helmet. Highlights of the trip back included flipping over the front wheel in the middle of a busy intersection, hitting the curb at just the wrong angle, nearly getting run over by a parked car, and rapidly swerving off the road and into a tree because the alternative was ramming a cop car.
Fun times.

What have YOU done that wasn't fun at all at the time, but now makes for an entertaining story that everyone, including you, can laugh at?

ForzaFiori
2007-07-11, 08:00 PM
i chuncked a brick at a car when i was 5.
put a 1 inch deep dent in the door.

Nomrom
2007-07-11, 08:05 PM
That's not a bad throw for a five year old.

Syka
2007-07-11, 08:06 PM
I caught a hot iron with my arm. :) It hurt.

Krursk
2007-07-11, 08:17 PM
I stabbed myself with a soldering iron 13 times in just under an hour and a half two years ago. I hold a record at my school for it

crazedloon
2007-07-11, 08:23 PM
Hmm I have to say that is a little pathetic. I have done much the same (i.e. bike with 1 hand) through the woods up and down hills holding a 12 pack of soda. Now that is hard.

However the second you put a motor on a vehicle and I have the worst luck. Including hitting a mailbox (that was fun) blowing out a tire do to a misjudged turn (mostly due to tire age) and hitting an idiot who stopped short. Boy all those sucked

TigerHunter
2007-07-11, 08:24 PM
Hmm I have to say that is a little pathetic.
:smallfrown:

I have done much the same (i.e. bike with 1 hand) through the woods up and down hills holding a 12 pack of soda. Now that is hard.
Not speaking from any sort of experience, but yes, it certainly is.

Ceres
2007-07-11, 08:28 PM
I had two schoolmates attack my hand with a key and an eraser until the blood flowed, just to see what my pain-threshold was. I still bear the scar to this day. Also, we used to heat up pencils in the overhead and burn each other with them. Have a couple of scars from that as well.

But well, was ihn nicht umbringt, macht ihn starker.

ForzaFiori
2007-07-11, 09:18 PM
while i didn't do this, a friend of mine took a long match, heated it up w/ its own fire, and jabbed it into his skin.
where it promptly got infected.

the really ironic part? he did it b/c we said he was too immature to use a lighter.

Lucky
2007-07-11, 09:19 PM
the really ironic part? he did it b/c we said he was too immature to use a lighter.I think he was right.

Midnight Son
2007-07-11, 09:22 PM
I once flipped my car at 80mph. I tell ya, that was the best ride of my life till the pain caught up to me. The speed of pain is apparently slower than 80mph. In fact, it seems to meander and amble along at a steady pace, but always catches you anyway. Pain, your name is Pepé Le Pew.

Kyrsis
2007-07-11, 09:33 PM
An 8 mile ruck march (body armor, helmet, pack, rifle) in uniform. I was forced to do the walk, wearing the uniform with the other stuff was optional. That really sucked, but now telling the stories is hilarious. The look on the poor computer guy's face an hour afterwards when he was told to go on a job about a 1/4 mile away was priceless (we didn't have access to drive there).

Flabbicus
2007-07-11, 09:39 PM
Crashed into a tree while I was riding on a sled with a friend. Funny thing was, he decided it would be better if he steered.

Next thing we new we had crashed into a thorn bush and had to extirpate ourselves from it.

Tom_Violence
2007-07-11, 09:40 PM
I once got hit by a bus and died. That, my friends(?), was indeed a rubbish day.

Still, mustn't grumble.

OverdrivePrime
2007-07-11, 09:40 PM
Highlights of the trip back included flipping over the front wheel in the middle of a busy intersection, hitting the curb at just the wrong angle, nearly getting run over by a parked car, and rapidly swerving off the road and into a tree because the alternative was ramming a cop car.
Fun times.

:smallbiggrin: I'm laughing only because you're okay. I've had an altercation with those devious parked cars once or twice in my day. They're cunning and cruel!


For me, I've so far managed not to injure myself too hilariously, unless you count the time in sophomore gym class where I got ticked off that one of the kids on the other (basketball) team was cheating. Instead of punching him (I'm a pass-a-fist) I decided it would be better to not get suspended; I hauled off and put all my strength into a right cross to the middle of our mascott's head on one of the padded cushions beneath the hoop. Yay padded cushion. 2 inch thick padded cushion. Covering a 12 inch thick concrete wall.

I was so angry that I didn't notice that I had broken my hand until the gym teacher screamed that the bone was jutting out. Whoops. :smalleek:

I missed my driver's test because of that bout of stupidity. They don't let you test with a manual transmission when your right hand doesn't work.

Shiny, Bearer of the Pokystick
2007-07-11, 09:48 PM
Hm...well, I certainly didn't enjoy it at the time, but my upbringing among southern baptists (with jesus-based camp, even!) is, demonstrably, funny in retrospect.

If you're wondering, it didn't...really stick. >.<;

Madmal
2007-07-11, 09:56 PM
I almost drowned on a pool...and my family was thinking i was a natural swimmer...:sigh:

RTGoodman
2007-07-11, 10:10 PM
Speaking of encounters with parked cars...

My friend Dave came over to my house one evening so he could ride with me and our other buddy Paul to a gaming session, and apparently parked his black Jeep directly behind my Jeep, rather than in the open area on the other side of the driveway. And remember, it's like 8:00 at night, with no moon and no lights (since we live out in the middle of the country).

I hop in my Jeep, turn on the headlights, and put it in Reverse, and just start backing out to turn around. About 2 seconds later, there was a tremendous crash and my Jeep stopped moving. Dave, from the passenger seat looked right at me and gasped. I yelled, "what was that!" to which he replied "...I think that was my car!"

I put the car in Drive and pulled up about 5 feet, and then we all jumped out. Turns out that, if you drive a car that's dark light the night, you shouldn't park directly behind someone. When we got to his car, it turned out that the rear driver's side corner of my Jeep had collided with the front passenger's side corner of his Jeep, completely denting in the area about the wheel that sticks out. So my buddy Paul's solution? He just walks up, puts his hands inside the wheel well, and pops it back out. And of course, the only thing that happened to my Jeep was that it scraped some of the paint off.

It took Dave's dad about 10 months to notice that the front corner of Dave's Jeep was dented and the paint looked all crackled and chipped and such. But, on the record, that happened "in the Wal-Mart parking lot". :smallwink:

purple gelatinous cube o' Doom
2007-07-11, 10:34 PM
At work a series or two ago (about a month to a month and a half ago) in the course of a week, a hard rake slipped out of my hand and I got a pretty good gash in my left leg from that, got my middle finger pinched between the blade and the reel housing of our mower trying to get a belt back on track (which is still all black btw), burned on my right arm from the motor housing on our greensmower we use for the infield, and then there's the half a dozen other cuts and scrapes I get on a daily basis.

Ranis
2007-07-12, 12:26 AM
Jeez, my story fits in every one of these kind of threads.

I cut my finger off with a hatchet while teaching cub scouts how to cut firewood.

Oberon
2007-07-12, 12:40 AM
Ever been hit in the head with a flying bird?

Me neither but I saw it happen... twice... to the same person.

WildArcana
2007-07-12, 12:44 AM
Jeez, my story fits in every one of these kind of threads.

I cut my finger off with a hatchet while teaching cub scouts how to cut firewood.

Wow. Where is it now?

ForzaFiori
2007-07-12, 12:46 AM
Jeez, my story fits in every one of these kind of threads.

I cut my finger off with a hatchet while teaching cub scouts how to cut firewood.

OW.

reminds me of this story i read in the darwin awards where a scoutmaster was showing some new scouts how to chop wood, and as an example of why u shouldn't hit w/ a glancing blow, he took a swing, glanced off the wood, and buried the ax in his knee.

excellent example of why NOT to hit with a glancing blow if u ask me.

WildArcana
2007-07-12, 12:48 AM
I watched Spiderman 3, once.

Vonriel
2007-07-12, 12:56 AM
Jeez, my story fits in every one of these kind of threads.

I cut my finger off with a hatchet while teaching cub scouts how to cut firewood.

And I think the same answer has been posted in every one of these kind of threads.

Wouldn't that be "while teaching cub scouts how not to cut firewood"?


Let's see.. there was this time in elementary school where a bird attacked my head after I rode past its bush on my way to school. Does that count? It scared the boop outta me too.

Imrahil
2007-07-12, 01:15 AM
Now this is the thread for me. I've got some great 'bar stories' to tell, so here's one of my favorites.

During my last year of high school, our graduating class got to go on a trip to Quebec. Two days staying at a ski resort, having 4-person lodges to stay with one's closest friends...should have been heaven.

The first day there, we had the option of going skiing for the day or going to something called a 'snow park' (more on that later). I've been skiing since I was 7, and I was all set for a great day with some nice powder. However, the skis they were supposed to have ready for me weren't adjusted for my large boots. Thus, I took them in to get them fixed up, and I figured it was problem solved. However, they didn't tighten the right one properly, something I found out when I got to the top of the black double diamond run. Ten seconds in, my right ski comes off, and now I'm trying to maneuver with only one ski. I don't care how good you are, you're still going down - and so I did. Luckily, I wasn't that injured, and my ski stopped 50 meters or so down the hill. I figured, just get the ski, tighten it myself, and continue on with my day. Unfortunately, I didn't count on a patch of ice between myself and my destination, and ski boots don't handle that well on a sharp, slick incline. Next thing I know, I'm on my ass again, this time with a sprained ankle. First run of the day, and I have to be driven back to my lodge to spend the rest of the day watching French TV.

Thinking it couldn't get any worse, the next day I decided to test my ankle touring the old Quebec City with the rest of the class. Making it through the day with only a few irritations, my friends convinced me I would be OK enough to go to the snow park that evening. Now, for those of you who don't know, a snow park is essentially like a water park, where one has 'snow slides' instead of water slides to enjoy. Near the end of the night, which had been enjoyable enough to make me forget my pains, my friends and I decided to try snow rafting; this is where they have a white water raft and send 6-8 people down a specialized run at once.

Now, to make sure the raft actually goes down the run properly, they had designed an entrance chute with a swinging metal gate to hold the raft in place until everybody got in, at which time it would open and we could get on our merry way. Lazy people we were, we decided to drop the raft about 2 feet from the gate and start piling in. The slide operator wasn't happy about this, and instructed us to get out and put it right up to the gate. I figured, I was only going to put one foot out of the raft, that way it would be less work for me to do. As the raft settled up to the gate, I sat back down in the second row, my friend Colin in the front, and my friend Justin right behind me, with the others almost ready to get in. However, the gate chose that moment to open up by itself. As we're sliding forward, I heard the girls yell out something to us, so I turned around to hear what they were saying. Suddenly, I realized that we were moving, and I whipped my head back around, when something grey and moving caught my eye.

My thought process as I remember it was something like "Wait, we shouldn't be moving yet...huh, what could that grey thing be...it kind of looks like that gate that - oh SH..." Then a few dozen pounds of frozen metal clocked square in the centre of the head. Then I woke up at the bottom of the run with the girls leaning over me praying that I wasn't dead. After enduring a rescue crew that almost flipped the snowmobile that I was riding on my way to the first aid station, having the most directionally-challenged teacher trying to find a hospital at 11 at night, and then trying to get them to spell my last name right (I wrote it down for them, but somehow they still managed to get it wrong), I was told that the school now had a case study and a reason to continue having a rented car in case of emergencies.

Thus, what was supposed to be a great time ended with a busted ankle, a massive bloody gash across my forehead (luckily, I have a wonky immune system that has made it impossible for me to scar), and a horrible concussion.

Rockphed
2007-07-12, 01:21 AM
I once flipped a bicycle and ended up screaming with my head in a busy highway for 5 minutes.

Raiser Blade
2007-07-12, 01:48 AM
wow umm i havent really maimed myself but once i was playing basketall and i got tripped/pushed on a drive and i actually flipped head over heels twice on the asphalt luckily i only sprained my ankle and bruised my arms and legs

blackout
2007-07-12, 01:52 AM
I did a backflip underwater in a pool, and conked my head on the pool's walls.

Yeah. Not my brightest moment.

Alarra
2007-07-12, 01:53 AM
I walked into my mom's parked car and broke my nose.

Serpentine
2007-07-12, 01:54 AM
Wow. Umm... I havent really maimed myself, but once I was playing basketall and I got tripped/pushed on a drive and I actually flipped head over heels twice on the asphalt. Luckily, I only sprained my ankle and bruised my arms and legs.
:smallsmile:

I have a small scar on the tip of my left index finger. I was waiting for a friend of mine to finish scratching some sort of abuse into a big old tree (she and another girl were having a weird sort of spat... hard to explain), and I got bored. So, I picked up a piece of glass and started drawing something on the tree. Now, the glass kept slipping in my fingers and wouldn't dig in very well. So. I pushed on the edge with my finger :smallsigh: Oh, and then I was sitting there bleeding. Got some toilet paper from the public loo so I didn't get blood all over the place, and sat there, bleeding and bored, waiting for my lovely friend to finish so I could go in search of medical aid. :smallsigh:

Deepblue706
2007-07-12, 01:54 AM
i chuncked a brick at a car when i was 5.
put a 1 inch deep dent in the door.

I once did that with a huge rock! I think I was about the same age too. But, I wasn't trying to hit the car - I wanted to see if I could throw it OVER it...as it passed by. Fun times.

Serpentine
2007-07-12, 01:55 AM
Oh, and I also ran face-first into an open door once.

Jibar
2007-07-12, 02:08 AM
Okeedokee. I got a story for this kind thread.

Ya know how stuff sometimes gets stuck between the cushions on sofas?
Well, imagine there's a really sharp pencil stuck point up.
Not just sharp, really sharp.
It's a summer day, really hot, so I'm not wearing much. I don't see the pencil.
I sit down.
Bam.
I'm bleeding and I see the pencil as I shoot up.

My family have never let me live it down.

ForzaFiori
2007-07-12, 02:09 AM
I once did that with a huge rock! I think I was about the same age too. But, I wasn't trying to hit the car - I wanted to see if I could throw it OVER it...as it passed by. Fun times.

mine was during that "lets through small rocks at cars" phase, and i ran outta rocks.
so my friend, who i stupidly trusted, told me to through the brick i was standing on.
honestly, i'm amazed it made it to the car, let alone put a dent in it.


oh, and another one! i was going through a revolving door, and the edges of it were clear. and instead of the exits being across from each other, the exit was 3/4s of a turn away from the entrance, and then curved around to pass by the door. i thought it went straight through, and walked right into the wall. as i'm getting out of the door, fealing embarrased as heck, i turn around to see one of my friends do the exact same thing.

Flakey
2007-07-12, 02:38 AM
Not sure this counts as a laughed half way through.

Cutting a plastic tie with a very sharp scapel, the wrong way. Next thing I know 1 inch of scapel blade is stuck into my other hand. Silly me I pull the blade out and blood gushes everywhere. I grab a bunch of paper hand towels and walk fast to the lady with the first aid kit. I get there and she takes one look at me. Hand in the air, bloody paper towels hurridely wrapped around it, and blood running down my arm and dripping on the floor.

Her response, a big shriek and she ran from her office. People attracted to her shriek found me dripping blood around her office, laughing my head off as I looked for the first aid kit. :smallbiggrin:

alec
2007-07-12, 05:15 AM
At Venturers, we hit a guy in the face with a catapult. The throwing arm to be precise. Which had a saucepan lashed to it to put the water bombs in. Not only was he lifted off the ground, but he still has a small scar and was lucky not to fracture his skull. Although, he already had the nickname "Trauma Boy" at that stage, so we kind of expected him to get hurt. He's got all kinds of stories.

Azrael
2007-07-12, 07:12 AM
I put the car in Drive and pulled up about 5 feet, and then we all jumped out. Turns out that, if you drive a car that's dark light the night, you shouldn't park directly behind someone.

No, as it turns out, you should ALWAYS LOOK WHERE YOU'RE DRIVING. Especially if you're in reverse. I don't care how dark it was, between your backup lights and your brake lights you'd have seen the car 5 ft behind you.

Death, your friend the Reaper
2007-07-12, 07:20 AM
No, as it turns out, you should ALWAYS LOOK WHERE YOU'RE DRIVING. Especially if you're in reverse. I don't care how dark it was, between your backup lights and your brake lights you'd have seen the car 5 ft behind you.

We hear at Azrael inc. ultimately end up punishing those who don't anyway.

*This has been a community service message by Death; your friend the Reaper

Ranis
2007-07-12, 07:42 AM
My finger has been surgically reattached to my hand, you can almost not see the scar anymore. Surgery was foosking expensive because there is apparently only one neurosurgeon in the greater Indianapolis area. Works fine now, though.

WildArcana
2007-07-12, 08:23 AM
That's awesome.

Damocles74
2007-07-12, 08:24 AM
So as a young teenager I thought I was pretty strong and manly. When I was cleaning up the kitchen for my mom (yeah not too manly huh?) I was placing a 40 oz. glass beer bottle in the trash and then I decided to test how strong and manly I was. A normal beer bottle is made of thicker glass for what ever reason, a 40 oz. by comparison has much thinner glass. So I crushed it in my hand...yeah I still have the scar on my thumb where the glass sliced right through a vein and turned my hand into an A+ fountain of blood. Teenagers are stupid.

Sc00by
2007-07-12, 08:28 AM
Once, while running away from some 'friends' I ran straight through a small bush, which was covering a small stream. Apparently...

I've fallen/jumped off more rope swings straight into what ever is wet underneath them more times that I care to remember :?

I, too, have been run over by a parked car (though that was a direct result of alcohol consumption...)

and while I'm talking about alcohol consumption;
One night I was out with some friends in London, which has an underground system. After drinking several pints more than I really should've done I attempted to go home. The ticket barrier @ the tube station didn't want my ticket (it had got bent in my back pocket during the evening) and ate it. In my stupor I decided that the simple solution was to jump over the barrier.

Wrong!

I now have a lovely titanium plate in my shoulder holding my arm on...

Ranis
2007-07-12, 09:22 AM
That's awesome.

Yes, yes it is. I wouldn't recommend going through the procedure though, it's.....not fun being without a right index finger for three weeks.

Serpentine
2007-07-12, 09:27 AM
I now have a lovely titanium plate in my shoulder holding my arm on...
Yeouwch. Could you please explain exactly what happened there?

OverdrivePrime
2007-07-12, 09:28 AM
I now have a lovely titanium plate in my shoulder holding my arm on...

Much love to all the drunken cyborgs out there!

Somehow I made it through my (highly saturated) early-to-mid 20's without needing any borg enhancements. Accidents were common, though I usually didn't remember them. One morning I woke up with scabbed over holes in the palms of my hands which hurt like crazy. Over breakfast, my friends told me how I took a running start to jump up and grab a branch of a tree to swing from, then hurl myself out over a park bench. I landed alright, but my hands were bleeding. Yeah... don't swing from the branches of thorn trees. :smallsigh:

MR.PIXIE
2007-07-12, 09:34 AM
My parents would'nt let me have a b b gun:smallfrown: . so I rode my bike to wallmart and bought a shiny new b b hand gun:smallsmile: . While i was racing home the gun fell out of my pocket and got smashed into 30 mangled peices.:smallannoyed:

Xerillum
2007-07-12, 10:15 AM
1. When I was really little (In diapers), I could read, and so I opened a bottle of cough syrup, drank the bottle, got pretty drunk, and stuck my hand in hot coffee. and then took a nap. In the emergency room.

2. when I was in 5th grade computer class, I noticed a paperclip in the power outlet. Being a 5th grader I wasn't too smart. One of my friends dared me to pull it out. As soon as I touched it, three computers got knocked out, and I got electromacuted. I still have the burn on my finger.

Siwenna
2007-07-12, 08:41 PM
I'm an extreme klutz, but I haven't seriously injured myself

I have failed to sit down several times. The most memorable is when we were playing D&D and I got up to show where I moved on the map. Then I went to sit down and slid off the side of the chair.

I left a very sharp pencil on my bed, and somehow got it jammed in foot when I sat down. It got infected too, and you can still see the led.

One day my mom took me and two friends to the pool. I was about 8, friend A was 9, and friend B was 10. Eventually we got bored and went to go chase geese. My mom needed to go, but we were having fun so my mom agreed to let us stay as long as we kept out of the pool and highway. It had just rained, so there was a bunch of mud. We started throwing it at the geese and at each other, and on the stuff of the guy sleeping by the pool. Then we started throwing it onto the highway, and I managed to hit a car. The two teenagers riding in it pulled over to us, asked for our parent's phone number, and threatened to call the cops if we didn't go home. We made up a number and ran home (at 8 you take the threats of 17-year-olds seriously.) My parents never found out.

Amy
2007-07-12, 08:54 PM
That's not a bad throw for a five year old.

That's what I said!

(I'm mf11's big sister.)

SMEE
2007-07-12, 09:05 PM
When I was 8 years old, I got a new bike.

Eager to try it, I went up a slope that there's in front of my house and rushed down.

Middle way, I saw that there was a Volkswagen Type 2 (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Kombi) parked at the end of the slope.
I tried to hit the breaks, but they were too stiff for me to pull them.
So the bike front wheel hit the wagon at about 32kph. I was launched towards the Volskwagen chassis and hit it hard with my head.

I was out for about a minute after that. I didn't had an scratch, no broken bone, no head ache, no nothing.
The bike suffered no damage.

The volskwagen... well... it's chassis suffered some major damage and had to be repaired...

It's kinda worrying to think that I hit and damaged a car chassi with my head at 32kph and nothing really happened to me...
Well, given that my older brother hit his head way harder than I did in this minor incident at least 3 times and never had any bone of his cranium broken or damaged, I can only conclude that my family has a very sturdy skull... :smallconfused:

Pyre
2007-07-12, 09:19 PM
Once, while running away from some 'friends' I ran straight through a small bush, which was covering a small stream. Apparently...

I've fallen/jumped off more rope swings straight into what ever is wet underneath them more times that I care to remember :?

I, too, have been run over by a parked car (though that was a direct result of alcohol consumption...)

and while I'm talking about alcohol consumption;
One night I was out with some friends in London, which has an underground system. After drinking several pints more than I really should've done I attempted to go home. The ticket barrier @ the tube station didn't want my ticket (it had got bent in my back pocket during the evening) and ate it. In my stupor I decided that the simple solution was to jump over the barrier.

Wrong!

I now have a lovely titanium plate in my shoulder holding my arm on...

Hey, I have a titanium plate in my head. We can start a club.

Xerillum
2007-07-12, 09:33 PM
Oh, I forgot the time I made a rocket sled, took it down a hill at a park where I live (It's a pretty big hill), and turned on the engines. One of the engines blew, the sled flipped over and over and over, until it hit a tree at 40 mph. I shattered one of my legs, and the other one was broken backwards at the knee, so my kneecap was shattered, and that leg also had a compound fracture so that the bone was sticking out og the thigh. So, my foot, if you bent the breaks at right angles, was in my face. I now have multiple titanium plates in my legs. I remember that I was laughing, and I didn't know what was going on. My friend says that I said something like: "Hey, Ted, dude, I hit a tree! ha ha! hee hee hee! Look at my leg! It's like a gummy worm! Bendybendybendy!"

Flabbicus
2007-07-12, 09:33 PM
I once stabbed a pencil point into someone's hand during math class. The point broke off. Yeah, don't ask me why I did it, I don't really know. 7th grade was a weird year.

TigerHunter
2007-07-12, 10:00 PM
When I was 8 years old, I got a new bike.

Eager to try it, I went up a slope that there's in front of my house and rushed down.

Middle way, I saw that there was a Volkswagen Type 2 (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Kombi) parked at the end of the slope.
I tried to hit the breaks, but they were too stiff for me to pull them.
So the bike front wheel hit the wagon at about 32kph. I was launched towards the Volskwagen chassis and hit it hard with my head.

I was out for about a minute after that. I didn't had an scratch, no broken bone, no head ache, no nothing.
The bike suffered no damage.

The volskwagen... well... it's chassis suffered some major damage and had to be repaired...

It's kinda worrying to think that I hit and damaged a car chassi with my head at 32kph and nothing really happened to me...
Well, given that my older brother hit his head way harder than I did in this minor incident at least 3 times and never had any bone of his cranium broken or damaged, I can only conclude that my family has a very sturdy skull... :smallconfused:
Sort of like the time first learned to ride a bike... and ended up running over my sister, putting her in the hospital and forcing her to get stitches. In my defense, she ran out right in front of me.

Both my stories involve bikes... maybe I should switch to walking.

Bor the Barbarian Monk
2007-07-12, 10:02 PM
There was a quote I read ages ago, and I know I no longer have it right...but every time I see thread, I think of it.

"Some day, we'll look back on all of this...and probably plow into a tree." :smallbiggrin:

The very first story on this thread reminds me of the days when I was young and stupid. Y'see, I rode my bicycle EVERYWHERE. Heck, it was all that bike riding that has probably saved my legs these days. On days when there was nothing else to do, I could put away twenty-five miles just by riding around.

The thing is, I also enjoyed reading. Raise your hand if you think riding a bicycle and reading make for a bad combination...

*pauses to see everyone has raised their hands*

Good. But that's exactly what I did. Holding a book in my hands, riding around aimlessly, I would spend hours grinding through paperbacks.

Now I'm sure many of you are wondering how I pulled off this utterly foolish stunt.

First, I have PHENOMINAL peripheral vision. I was tested a couple of years ago to see how bad my diabetic retinopathy was affecting me. I leaned into this white hemisphere thing, told to stare straight ahead, and then point to where I thought I could see the light that was manipulated by the test-giver. There was just one little problem...as she would pull the light all the way out and reposition it, I would still be pointing to exactly where it was. There was no pisition she could put it where I couldn't see it. This means that I could see various things as they approached...remember, my head was bowed to see the book, so my peripheral vision was marking things ahead of me.

Next, I NEVER EVER pulled this stunt in a busy area. If traffic was heavy, the book was tucked away in my every-present backpack.

Third, just because my eyes were occupied doesn't mean my ears stopped functioning. Even in rural areas, I could hear a car approaching. Thankfully, I gave up this stupid hobby as cars got quieter.

Last, once upon a time, my reflexes were very good. Caring more for my life than a book, if I needed to drop it and grab the handlebars, that's what I did.

Now, if you've read this little Bor story, PLEASE, DON'T TRY THIS ON YOUR OWN!!! I have already confessed to it being dumb. That should be enough to ward you off from trying.

13_CBS
2007-07-13, 01:14 AM
Hmm...back in 1st grade, I managed to get a nice chunk of pencil lead stuck in my forhead. That was fun.

Sc00by
2007-07-13, 01:34 PM
Yeouwch. Could you please explain exactly what happened there?

I tried to hurdle the barrier and just failed. Landed on my shoulder and smashed right clavicle into 3 bits. Took me an hour to notice too. THAT'S how drunk I was (my shoulder was about 6 inches (150mm) lower than it should've been)

I could go on - I've got a very, very long list including trying to cycle up a hill covered in snow. That was funny, if fruitless :smallwink:

Hoggy
2007-07-13, 01:56 PM
When I was 4, I swallowed some lego. I can't exactly remember why but spent 20 hours in hospital. 19 and a half waiting.

Horribly drunk when I was 15. We had a fire, and I was standing next to it, kinding dozing off... next thing I know, my friend has lept across the fire and tackled me away from a fire to the face, and winded me. I was angry at the time, but laugh now.

PhallicWarrior
2007-07-14, 07:56 PM
Right after my family moved into our current house I decided to look around the basement. Thing is, I thought of this while I was on the far side of the house so I (being a hyperactive little bugger) ran around to the basement stairs and fell down into the basement. I didn't even get a bruise.

Jalor
2007-07-14, 09:16 PM
Well, a few years ago, I went skiing with some relatives of mine. It was my first time, I took no lessons, and went up a 5-mile hill. About 5 minutes in, I fell hard, sprained my leg badly, and could barely move. One of my cousins tried to carry me to the bottom, but I was too heavy and there was ice on the hill, leading to another painful fall. I had to walk down. In ski boots. It hurt like ****, but it got better, and now I laugh about it.

Xerillum
2007-07-14, 09:29 PM
Ouch... At least you didn't do that with a :smallcool:Rocketsled:smallcool: Then you may have had to walk down the hill with a shattered bone.

Gaelbert
2007-07-14, 09:30 PM
From what I hear, this isn't my fault but I cut off the top of my middle finger with a folding chair when I was three. My nail grew back over the top of my middle finger, which is now shorter than the other. It looks quite odd.

Extra_Crispy
2007-07-15, 04:52 AM
Lets see I have jumped out of a swing trying to catch a tree, missed and fell hard on my back, knocking the wind out of me. Got back up and tried it again.

The biggest one that comes to mind though was my car accident when I was 18. Lets just say hitting an electrical pole backwards from losing control of your car is very very bad. Spent 2 months in a burn unit with burns over about 65% of my body and 40+% of that was 3rd degree (from the electricity) then spent 1 month trying to get balance, strength, and cordination back at a physical rehab ward. Also had to wear a compression garmet from the top of my neck to my toes for 24 hours a day, 7 days a week, for a year. Now this might not seem like something to laugh at but it is one of the ways I delt with all of it. After all look at my name:smallbiggrin:

Alleine
2007-07-16, 11:15 PM
Several years ago, in middle school, I, being naturally superior at sprinting than most people for no reason whatsoever, would chase after things and usually be the first to get to them. So we're playing some from of basketball and some jerk manages to grab the ball, chucks it pretty far and I say to myself, "A challenge, eh?" So off I go, but some other kid who is closer to it starts running, when he falls behind(all in the space of a few seconds), he "accidentaly"(I never liked the guy) clips my foot. So what happens when your foot doesn't keep running at top speed? You fall a fairly good distance over a stretch of asphalt. Scraped by knees, elbows, and hands pretty badly. Got up, limped painfully over to the nurse's office and got bandaged. The scars are smaller than I remember.

When first learning to ride a bike I hopped up a curb on accident and ran into a light post. Later I was turning a corner and something caught the spokes and down I got. Got some nasty scrapes from that.

3-4 years ago I was helping my dad switch wooden gates on a fence, the old wood was pretty soft and splintery, but I was ratcheting something so no gloves. The ratchet slips, jams my hand against the door. Ouch. The right-hand ring finger took it all, including a 1/3 inch splinter that looked fairly thick to me, straight into the knuckle. Swelled up in a matter of minutes so I had to go to the emergency room. Got doped up, they sliced the finger, extracted something spherical that wasn't wood(confused the hell out of me) then pulled the splinter. Couple days later after swelling and redness hadn't left we decided it was infected, that was a useless waste of three days plugged to an IV tube for antibiotics. Oh, and before that we saw some "hand specialist" who recommended they essentialy cut my finger in half, flush it out, sow it up and spend some time(at least a year) in physical therapy. That scared the hell out of me. It still hurts on occasion.

Other than that, I sprained a finger a few months ago, first sprain ever, and haven't broken a single bone. I'm waiting for the day it'll all catch up and kill me.

TigerHunter
2007-07-16, 11:18 PM
Other than that, I sprained a finger a few months ago, first sprain ever, and haven't broken a single bone. I'm waiting for the day it'll all catch up and kill me.
Replace 'months' with 'years' and that's me.

Khaldan
2007-07-16, 11:27 PM
When i was 3, i decided to make lemonade. with lemons. and sharp knives. lets just say i ended up with the ability to the the bone in my middle finger. gonna have that scar for a looooong time.

Siwenna
2007-07-17, 12:03 AM
I remembered a couple more....

When I was about 10, me and some of the kids in the neighborhood would go and play kickball at a field nearby. We didn't have any actual bases, so we emprovised with whatever was lying around. There was this concrete slab which we used as third base most of the time. I was in the outfield (I believe that's the right term) between 2nd and 3rd base. This big 14 year old comes up, kicks the ball, and starts running pretty fast. He's coming around, probably going to get a home run, and I decided to stand kinda in front of him. That way he would slow down and we could get him out (we were a bit shady on the rules.) Except he didn't slow down, at least not until after he hit me. I went flying, scraped my elbow on the concrete, and got a black eye from a rock.

When I was 10 I had high bed, alot like a bunkbed but without the bottom bunk, so I slept about 7 feet up. One night I had a dream that I was hanging off the nightstand in my parents room but my feet weren't touching the floor. The nightstand was about 2.5 feet, so I figured it was just a drop of a few inches and let go. I woke up on my back on the hardwood floor, freaking out because I couldn't breath. Once I calmed down, realized that I had just been winded and must have somehow fallen off my bed. I was fine, but my back hurt like hell for the rest of the day. I'm still not sure what I did exactly. I wasn't in the right position to have just let go of the ladder, but there were rails so it would have been hard to roll off.

Alleine
2007-07-17, 02:03 AM
Bunkbeds! That reminds me...

I woke up in the middle of the night once when I was little. I was pretty drowsy right then and rolled over(on the top bunk IIRC), then realized that I was rolling over the edge, so naturally I try to grab on, but nooo, I was too far over the edgefor it to stop me. I slowed, which was long enough for me to realize that we never clean up the legos in our room, and they often cover the floor in a light plastic layer. >.< Ow. At least I was light enough for it not to pierce my skin too much.

Dr._Weird
2007-07-17, 02:10 AM
Ouch... At least you didn't do that with a :smallcool:Rocketsled:smallcool: Then you may have had to walk down the hill with a shattered bone.

You know, I think rocketsleds just make everything worse. I can't think of a situation where a rocketsled would make things better.

"At least you didn't eat that salad while riding a rocketsled. You coulda gotten injured."

"At least you didn't hold up that bank with a freakin' rocketsled."

Saithis Bladewing
2007-07-17, 02:49 AM
I have a scar on my thumb that never faded. I got it from a cheese grater. Was busy making slices of cheese and looked up to see someone, and suddenly, whoosh! Chunk of my thumb was gone. :smallconfused:

commander43
2007-07-18, 12:54 AM
Once, at a bout 11:00 at night while we were playing capture the flag, my friend sprinted at full speed into a chain fence. He couldn't see it because it was so dark. He broke his nose.

sapphail
2007-07-18, 07:03 AM
Three weeks ago. At work. In a restaurant kitchen. Had about four jobs on the go when the sous-chef asks me to take care of the gravlax (cured salmon). This means sprinkling said salmon with chopped coriander before covering in sugar and salt. Let's just say we were a tad busy that morning and I may have been rushing slightly; even so I was somewhat surprised when the knife slipped and took off two thirds of the fingernail on my right index finger. Oh, and naturally there were no bandaids in the first aid box.

So one of the waiters goes across the road for bandaids and I'm standing there with a wad of paper towels pressed to my hand. 10 minutes later he returns and we discover that the bandaids aren't going to be enough to stop the bleeding. Eventually found some bandages, cleaned myself up, bandaged my finger, stuck a glove on and went back to work. :smallbiggrin: Still hasn't grown back yet.

Pyre
2007-07-19, 12:43 AM
Playing football on the sidelines at a football game one time. We didn't have a ball so we improvised with a crushed coke can. Opening of coke can + thumb + tackler= trip to hospital.

And I put my arm through a plate glass window. It's so cool to see all the fat and tissue that makes up your arm hanging out on the outside.

PlatinumJester
2007-07-20, 08:27 AM
One time I was trying to use a stanley knife (even though I was 5) and cut a chunk out of my thumb. Then I tried to use the other hand and cut a chunk out of my other thumb.

One time, me and my friend were at a forest and decided to play Splinter Cell (well just pretend we were like Sam Fisher). We find a stream about a meter across so we try and do the wall splits thing in between it. Unfortunatly the sides were muddy so we start slipping towards the water and we couldn't get out since we couldn't reach far enough over the side. So me and my friend are stuck above a stream in the middle of winter for about an hour. Eventually some passers by helped to get us out.

The worst incident was about 3 years ago when it was snowing. We were at the same forest stealing holly for Christmas decorations. We were near a huge frozen over lake which the stream which we go stuck in/over lead to. Well near the bank of the lake, there was a floating log, which in my infinite stupidity decided to balance on. As you can probably predict, the log just sank and I'm stuck in a freezing cold lake wearing heavy clothing. However my friend pulled me out.

Mad Wizard
2007-07-21, 11:54 PM
I've got a couple of stories involving head injuries. The first one is fairly simple. I was sledding, and some kids had erected a jump out of snow. This is a fairly steep hill, and I'm on a metal disk of a sled. The last thing I remember is starting down the hill, thinking "I should avoid that jump." Apparently, I didn't. I flew off my sled, and slammed into the ground, going unconscious. I was kind of disoriented when I came back, and just climbed back, thinking everything was fine. Luckily, my mom and sister were there, and we went to the emergency room. Turns out I had a concussion.

Skip ahead about 2 months. It's spring now, and me and my dad go out to throw some boomerangs (plastic ones). I'm not very good at it, and they mostly fly off to the side. One that I throw seems to hover there for a second, then flies straight at me. Instead of moving out of the way, I try to catch it (these boomerangs aren't really meant to be caught the way I tried to). It slams into my forehead. I put my hands up to my forehead, and when I pull them back, they're covered in blood. That's another trip to the emergency room. Have a fairly obvious scar from that. Whenever anyone asks about it, I say, "Well, I was throwing some boomerangs, and the thing about boomerangs is they come back."

Hell Puppi
2007-07-22, 12:05 AM
I got the joint of my left hand middle finger broken completely in half by a sheep.

Beat that:smalltongue:

Klerik
2007-07-22, 01:12 AM
My friend and I were playing ping-pong when I accidently dented the ball in an attempt to catch it. My friend told me about a cool trick where one holds the ball above a flame and the hot air inside expands to remove the dent. Well I held the ball over a candle and in seconds I had a hand held flaming sphere. The aftermath left me with horrible second degree burns and a good laugh from my friend. It is only now that I can look back and laugh at the situation.

Extra_Crispy
2007-07-22, 04:04 AM
When I was 9 our family moved and my father picked up a box that had a small (about 10-15 lb) fire extinguisher on it. The extinguisher rolled off and landed on the little toe of my right foot. I remember seeing the toe nail go flying through the air.

My grandfather was cutting open a water heater and warned me before i went to feed his dogs to stay away from the extremely sharp metal of the heaters. On the way back in my right shin iched so I reaced down to scratch it and sunk my middle finger up to the first nuckle (about a inch) into my shin. Thing was was to where the metal from the hearter was I had to have cut my leg on the way out, no the way back in, and did not even feel it. That left a 4 inch long, 1/4 inch wide scar on my right shin

Started a piece of string (that had wax mixed with it) on fire and was holding it with my left hand watching the fire slowly burn the string toward my had when I piece of the string and hot wax fell off and landed on the back of my right hand. Have a tiny scar from that. But the funny part is combined with the scar I have on the palm of my right hand (from shingles when I was 15) I had a girl convinced that I had burned clean through my hand. There was no possible way as the angle would just not be possible, but I convinced her. That is untill I started laughing so hard I cried.

RAGE KING!
2007-07-22, 07:48 AM
...wow thats terrible, and here i thought mods were godly beings, impossible to harm.

my friend and i were biking to his house(along a super gentle paved biking path), and we were talking about people who do wheelies and stuff on there bikes (neither of us can do anything like that, nor do we care to), and he's like "yah, its soo hard to get your front wheel up at all" then he sorta hops his front wheel up an inch, then it lands again (which is really easy). i do that all the time and so i say "yeah, but hat you did, is super-easy". stupid laws of comedic physics. I do it, and land beautifully on a rock, my front wheel slips sideways really fast, and im pitched off the other side. Then i throw out my arms, and my right elbow lands really hard, on another pointy rock. I dont want to figure out what the chance of those two rocks being perfectly positioned, and me doing the hop and exactly the right (or should i say wrong) time are. I had something like 5 square centimeters of skin ripped off, and then all the flesh down underneath for almost an inch gouged out. it hurt. so then i lay there for 5 minutes, and get up. Turns out any pressure on my arm causes severe pain. That includes holding a handlebar. and in my injured state, no way was i biking one-handed. i wlaked my back i long way, then picked out all the crap from my elbow with a pair of tweezers (i sterilized them in rubbing alchohol-abad idea as it turns out). adn then washed it, and put bandaids, I now have a bunch of scar tissue on my elbow.

Quirinus_Obsidian
2007-07-22, 08:10 AM
When I was 11 or 12, I thought that it would be cool to improvise my own hole-puncher. With, you guessed it, a sharp as the dickens pencil. Hilarity ensued, and I still have the scar and pencil lead stuck in me left hand.

The other time was when I was 15; I decided that I would try to make it across town as quick as possible. Downhill, on a mountain bike wherein the metal spokes were not tight enough. This is a lesson in bicycle maintenance and stupidity. I drop it in 12th gear, as high as it can go. I start downhill, AND am pedaling as hard as I can, and all of a sudden I just barely nick a 1 inch depression in the ground, and the bike wheel bends ,and I go flying for about... oh say 10 feet. (1d6 per DnD rules does NOT cover falling damage!!!!) Broken left arm, 3 fractured fingers, and a wicked concussion. I still get migraines from time to time because of this too. Apparently, I hit something old and metal; could have been a parked car, I can't remember.

Aereshaa_the_2nd
2007-07-22, 08:37 AM
A few months ago, I decided that I needed a new television set for my room. I took the TV from the basement, brought it outside my room on the 2nd floor, And then tried to get the old TV off of the short chest of drawers by my bed. As I and a friend lifted it off, the entre cabinet fell over, and I had to keep it from falling over while putting down the TV. Luckily, I wasn't injured from a cabinet falling on me.

ChronicLunacy
2007-07-24, 01:15 AM
I got the joint of my left hand middle finger broken completely in half by a sheep.

Beat that:smalltongue:

You would have won so hard if you'd just said, "Bleat that!"

Anyway, I have a story about hitting a parked Volvo on a bike when I was eight but that has been done already. I also ran my forehead into a doorknob when I was about four or five. Still have the scar from that one. Hm...I broke my wrist falling out of the bed of a parked pickup truck while playing hide-and-go-seek. Broke my foot when it fell into a hole on the way OFF the football field, but told everyone I'd been injured in the pile-on. I have MANY MANY scars on my from working at a juice bar with large kitchen knives and a tomato slicer.

Oh, and just a few months ago I was in a karate class sparring a taller, older man. He had longer legs and could therefore kick me at a distance greater than my short little legs so I took him to the ground. In the process of me ruining his sh*t we rolled over and I took our combined weight on my thumb, which bent all the way back. I doubt I broke any bones but it still hurts if I try to crack the knuckle.

Hell Puppi
2007-07-24, 01:23 AM
I can't claim to be that punny :smalltongue:

On a side note that sheep also broke a man's leg and someone else's back. That thing needs to belong in some sort of monster handbook. It was amazing.

SurlySeraph
2007-07-24, 01:38 AM
There was that time I checked my watch 13 times... in three minutes. A friend of mine was following me around and counting without telling me. Someday, I'll get him for that.

ForzaFiori
2007-07-24, 01:44 AM
seeing someone else speak of head injuries and earning a cuncussions motivates me to top him.
i have had...4 concussions, iirc. 1 from fighting, 1 from a sai to the head in karate, 1 from football, and 1 from gym.

needless to say, my memory is nowhere near as good as it once was, and i'm pretty sure the fact that standing up usually makes me dizzy should be attributed to those too.

SweetLikeLemons
2007-07-24, 02:07 AM
I've never had a concussion, and never broken a bone. I have had stitches. Only three, but they were in my eyelid. I've told that story in another thread, though.

Hmm, another story, less impressive, but more amusing: In junior high, my school didn't have any sports teams, so I had to play soccer at another school, a couple miles away. I'd walk over there every afternoon, and after awhile, the walk got pretty monotonous. I decided to cut my travel time by rollerblading instead, never mind that I couldn't actually skate. I did fine however, until I came to a very steep hill and found the path blocked by a tree limb. That was when I realized that I was not at all good at braking. I landed on my butt and skidded for several feet. On asphalt. In skimpy soccer shorts. Ouch. :smalleek:

I limped the rest of the way to soccer practice, where the fact that I had skinned my butt caused endless amusement for my teammates. I never used those stupid rollerblades again.


Edit: Here (http://www.giantitp.com/forums/showthread.php?p=2678418#post2678418) is my eyelid story. I'm sure your eyelid story is much cooler than mine. I tend to injure myself in the silliest ways.

ForzaFiori
2007-07-24, 02:27 AM
I've never had a concussion, and never broken a bone. I have had stitches. Only three, but they were in my eyelid.

you are lucky.

i've had my fair share of cuncussions (as I stated), i broke my nose recently playing soccer (very minor break though), and i've had...48 stiches in my head. and plenty injuries that probably required stitches but i didn't get them, lol.

i'm gonna have to find that eyelid story , just to see if its anything like my eyelid accident.

Exeson
2007-07-26, 05:16 PM
I have two, Both bike related.

When I was around 13 I got a new bike and I was riding along, putting it through the ropes, getting a feel for it when I hit a stone and I do not know how but the bike fell. The worst part was that as it fell I somehow managed to snap the screw holding the handlebars in place. it sung up and hit my on the inside of my upper left leg. I could not walk for a week and limped for at least a month more.

When I was 14, again I was going out cycling, so I stopped by a mates house and asked if he was in, he was not. So as I was cycling off my chain started making a funny noise, so I looked down, but at the same time I continued to cycle, pretty fast. Next thing I know I went slap bang into the back of a van, my glasses cut into my nose and the side of my face, frightfully close to my eyes, my stomach hit the handlebars fast but the worst part was that my groin hit the neck thingy of the bike somehow cutting into me. suffice to say about 3 centimeters lower and I would have lost my manhood.

SDF
2007-07-26, 06:06 PM
I can't claim to be that punny :smalltongue:

On a side note that sheep also broke a man's leg and someone else's back. That thing needs to belong in some sort of monster handbook. It was amazing.

My half-orc, The Mange, got killed by a cow while cow tipping... He didn't think it was very funny at the time, but he was borderline retarded. (as per the rules on INT)

I have the perfect story, but it isn't forum appropriate. :smallsigh:

MR.PIXIE
2007-07-27, 08:26 AM
My parents would'nt let me have a b b gun:smallfrown: . so I rode my bike to wallmart and bought a shiny new b b hand gun:smallsmile: . While i was racing home the gun fell out of my pocket and got smashed into 30 mangled peices.:smallannoyed:

Is that karma or what?:smallsigh: :smallbiggrin: