Steven Universe and Harry Dresden

[Benthesquid]

Not a vs, exactly, although them testing their powers out against each other could be fun. But say an errant warp pad drops the Crystal Gems (for our purposes including Garnet, Amethyst, Pearl, Steven, and Connie) into the path of our favorite Friendly Neighborhood Wizard, somewhere after Turn Coat but before Changes.

How do the Crystal Gems stack up against the baddies of the Dresdenverse? What happens when Harry soulgazes Steven? How long is it before Bob makes a really inappropriate comment about Fusion? You be the judge!

(Inspired by my realization that if/when he grows up, Steven's likely to give Michael a run for his money in 'best character model for a truly Good Paladin')

[Lord Raziere]

Gems Vs. Dresdenverse Baddies:
I'd say.......hm......they'd probably do pretty well. Against vampires, they're basically immune to being bitten or fed upon because they're lacking in any biology, against Fae again they'd probably do pretty well because most of their powers seem to be about their inhuman strength/speed or their elemental powers from their seasons both of which Gems being near-immortal hard light constructs can withstand. Against wizards, its harder to say, wizards if they're prepared could figure out their gem shatter weakness and somehow use that to destroy them, but the Gems would catch them very off guard before that happens. zombies would be easy for them, because zombies are easy for any competent fighter in general.

The only real trouble I can see them having is against ghosts or other incorporeal beings. If Garnet Pearl and Amethyst can't smash it, they're out of luck, but then again they're ghosts with human desires and motives, meaning Steven wins against them as soon as he starts speaking and understanding what they want. So I can legit see them doing well if the White Council doesn't decide to be jerks about it. Not Being Jerks honestly expecting a LOT from the White Council.

Though if any of them try to go after Lapis, THEY'RE SCREWED. Full stop. Even Harry. There is no one in Dresdenverse that can stand up to what is basically a near-unkillable ocean goddess who can fly and summon water copies.

Harry soulgazing Steven:
Harry sees a mostly pink and happy place of unsurpassed beauty with a single black door where he puts all his doubts, fears, complicated feelings about his mother and so on while tries to be as happy as possible.

when Harry comes out of the soulgaze, Steven is wide eyed and feels a lot of sympathy for Harry and all that he has been though. But never says what he saw to Harry, because no one ever tells Harry what they see in him.

When Bob Makes an Inappropriate Comment on Fusion:
Instantly. Consistently. Eternally.

What I'd expect to happen:
Assuming that the Gem's Homeworld problems are put on hold, I'd expect Steven and the Gems to go around fighting evil, talking out the problems with the more reasonable members of the Dresdenverse, Harry being worried for Steven's safety and having doubts about sending Steven into danger which he would voice to Garnet, the White Council being jerks and trying to cover them up or some other form of jerkery to get rid of them for some perceived greater good, Harry intervening and trying to make sure they're safe from the White Council and paying a price for it as usual. Stuff like that.

[Benthesquid]

Though if any of them try to go after Lapis, THEY'RE SCREWED. Full stop. Even Harry. There is no one in Dresdenverse that can stand up to what is basically a near-unkillable ocean goddess who can fly and summon water copies.


Yes. This is why I left Lapis behind chilling with Peridot in their art commune.

[Lord Raziere]

Yes. This is why I left Lapis behind chilling with Peridot in their art commune.

Yeah, thats my assumption to, but Dresdenverse baddies have a nasty tendency to track down your loved ones with magic and try to kill them to get to you. Which of course, wouldn't end well where Lapis is concerned and if Steven has gotten through to her enough, she might protect the rest of Beach City as well. Though Peridot with the way she is shaping up might actually help with that.

[Callos_DeTerran]

Though if any of them try to go after Lapis, THEY'RE SCREWED. Full stop. Even Harry. There is no one in Dresdenverse that can stand up to what is basically a near-unkillable ocean goddess who can fly and summon water copies.

Lapis' power is directly proportional to how much water she has around herself at any given point in time. In the middle of Chicago? Probably wouldn't be that big of a deal.

Heck, even with Earth's oceans she couldn't actually stop the Crystal Gems, just delay them, because Lapis isn't a good fighter and isn't used to being as powerful as she POTENTIALLY could be depending on how much water is about.

...only real comment, don't know enough about Dresdenverse to comment on a lot of this.

[Lord Raziere]

Don't have to be a skilled fighter to cause a flood. The only reason they weren't all killed by an endless tide of water was because Steven was there and she cared about him.

[Admiral Squish]

Lapis' power is directly proportional to how much water she has around herself at any given point in time. In the middle of Chicago? Probably wouldn't be that big of a deal.

Heck, even with Earth's oceans she couldn't actually stop the Crystal Gems, just delay them, because Lapis isn't a good fighter and isn't used to being as powerful as she POTENTIALLY could be depending on how much water is about.

...only real comment, don't know enough about Dresdenverse to comment on a lot of this.

Well, even in the middle of the city she still has water mains and sewer systems which is nothing to sneeze at, but also, don't forget, Chicago's on the shore of Lake Michigan, one of the largest bodies of freshwater in the world. Like, top five, IIRC. That's more than enough water to put some serious hurt on pretty much anybody.

[Ronnoc]

Gems Vs. Dresdenverse Baddies:
I'd say.......hm......they'd probably do pretty well. Against vampires, they're basically immune to being bitten or fed upon because they're lacking in any biology, against Fae again they'd probably do pretty well because most of their powers seem to be about their inhuman strength/speed or their elemental powers from their seasons both of which Gems being near-immortal hard light constructs can withstand. Against wizards, its harder to say, wizards if they're prepared could figure out their gem shatter weakness and somehow use that to destroy them.

It's worth remembering that pretty much all of the upper tier fae, demons, dragons etc. have ritual magic and usually have the full sorcerer suite of powers on top of being a fae, demon, dragon etc. If the gems attract the attention of one of the stronger factions they are going to run into immortals who are fond of scry and die/curse tactics and will do their homework before engaging directly.

[Keltest]

It's worth remembering that pretty much all of the upper tier fae, demons, dragons etc. have ritual magic and usually have the full sorcerer suite of powers on top of being a fae, demon, dragon etc. If the gems attract the attention of one of the stronger factions they are going to run into immortals who are fond of scry and die/curse tactics and will do their homework before engaging directly.

On the other hand, the Gems don't really leave around any sort of body part residue that could be used to target them. The closer you get to scry and die, the more prep time and resource collection you need to do, and all of that is moot if you cant actually get something to target the darn person with. The bloodline curse in Chages, for example, needed a sacrifice of a member of the bloodline to work, which means actually capturing one first.

[khadgar567]

I think we have a bigger problem and it's our friendly neighborhood pervert bob learning a way to create himself crystal gem like body then houston we have legit problem cuz this means he no longer needs skull as home and he has mobile body that can affect physical realm aka he can make orgies anywhere he wants and participate himself so its not the gems and steven become problem its bob gaining realy dangerous knowledge from the them encounter so bye bye dresden welcome to worlds oddest case of serial pervert attacks

[Keltest]

I think we have a bigger problem and it's our friendly neighborhood pervert bob learning a way to create himself crystal gem like body then houston we have legit problem cuz this means he no longer needs skull as home and he has mobile body that can affect physical realm aka he can make orgies anywhere he wants and participate himself so its not the gems and steven become problem its bob gaining realy dangerous knowledge from the them encounter so bye bye dresden welcome to worlds oddest case of serial pervert attacks

Spirits in the Dresdenverse don't generally have a problem with making themselves bodies out of ectoplasm if they really wanted to. Its not just a case of Bob not knowing how to do it, he literally cannot create a form for himself the way most creatures do. Plus, he's bound to the skull unless the owner gives him permission to leave, so even if he did somehow get a body while he was out of the skull, he still couldn't do anything with it.

The danger of Bob has always been his knowledge falling into the wrong hands, not Bob himself.

[Benthesquid]

Speaking of the Red Court, here's a call for blatant speculation- how much, if any, is Steven capable of healing the various types of spiritual corruption via a good old fashioned spit-handshake?

[Keltest]

Speaking of the Red Court, here's a call for blatant speculation- how much, if any, is Steven capable of healing the various types of spiritual corruption via a good old fashioned spit-handshake?

Probably, pretty poorly. As much as we call it corruption, it isn't really a physical wound to be healed, it isn't even mental trauma like the corrupted gems seem to have.

[Lord Raziere]

Speaking of the Red Court, here's a call for blatant speculation- how much, if any, is Steven capable of healing the various types of spiritual corruption via a good old fashioned spit-handshake?

Not entirely sure about that. Y'know how that went with the corrupted centipeedle: he tried but ultimately she ended up reverting even if her mind was a little repaired. It would be rendering the trauma, seriousness and trouble of both the spiritual damage and the gem corruption a little trivial if Steven could just solve it all with that. Such a thing is a complex problem that probably needs a bit more effort and work to truly cure.

That and Steven's healing powers seem to only repair physical damage. Spiritual damage is closer to mental so probably he would have to use his dream powers instead. If thats even possible to cure through that. I mean vampires basically have DEMONS inside of them. Straight up, hardcore "I literally can't ever be redeemed ever, and I will kill your entire family then slaughter an entire pound of puppies to prove it" kind of Demons. In the case of the White Court, their demons literally die if the person experiences true love before they experience lust fully, but that doesn't help Thomas any.

I mean the people being POSSESSED by demons, probably redeemable, but you'll still have to kill the real demonic deal.

So it'd be a case of Steven finding out that all the things he values are literally poisonous and destructive to the demons inside of the vampires making them bad, and how he would feel about killing thinking demons with the power of love/friendship/whatever and whether that should be a thing at all.

and no Laashe doesn't count as a demon, the real Lasciel is still out there and unchanged by Harry.

[Eldan]

It's worth remembering that pretty much all of the upper tier fae, demons, dragons etc. have ritual magic and usually have the full sorcerer suite of powers on top of being a fae, demon, dragon etc. If the gems attract the attention of one of the stronger factions they are going to run into immortals who are fond of scry and die/curse tactics and will do their homework before engaging directly.

I was about to say. How do they hold up against mental magic, especially? The Fae are very good at that, as are all three vampire courts. The Faerie Queens put Dresden under mental magic before and it usually took him the better part of a book and outside help to even see something was wrong.

How about the Denarians? What happens if Steven touches a Denarius?

[khadgar567]

Spirits in the Dresdenverse don't generally have a problem with making themselves bodies out of ectoplasm if they really wanted to. Its not just a case of Bob not knowing how to do it, he literally cannot create a form for himself the way most creatures do. Plus, he's bound to the skull unless the owner gives him permission to leave, so even if he did somehow get a body while he was out of the skull, he still couldn't do anything with it.

The danger of Bob has always been his knowledge falling into the wrong hands, not Bob himself.
so here is the explanation bob learns gems are bodies made of light and their consciousness are still in their gems so what our friendly neighborhood pervert gonna do first somehow teach harry light magic with cost of building him a gem home since harry needs knowledge about red court and ritual he gonna agree with bob so after chichen itza event harry gonna sit and carve gem for bob who gonna use new gem to try to get his freedom but squirt( aka harry and lashciels daughter gonna get the gem due harry's pregnancy issue and we have maggie's sister as spirit of intellect / gem on reömaining books while bob still pestering harry for another gem home for himself.
side note I am gonna ask dresden community about legality of my post

[Forum Explorer]

I mean the people being POSSESSED by demons, probably redeemable, but you'll still have to kill the real demonic deal.

So it'd be a case of Steven finding out that all the things he values are literally poisonous and destructive to the demons inside of the vampires making them bad, and how he would feel about killing thinking demons with the power of love/friendship/whatever and whether that should be a thing at all.

and no Laashe doesn't count as a demon, the real Lasciel is still out there and unchanged by Harry.

That's not entirely accurate.

For possession, you only need to banish the demon.

Most demons aren't hurt by love/friendship/ect, it's the White Court in particular that have that weakness, though in return they lack the weaknesses of the Red Court. For example, Michael's faith is so strong that Red Court vamps literally ignite when they touch him. White Court vamps could shake his hand and accompany him to church without any sort of problems.

But those are just Vampire variants. Other demons are just big, ugly, nasty, brutes. They have some weaknesses to Faith, or rather God, but other then that? They need to watch out for thresholds, magic circles, and other things that ground out magic. Physical force can destroy their body, but that typically just banishes the demon, nothing more. And they are pretty strong, even a minor demon could throw cars around, and spit globes of acid.

Fallen are terrifying and basically have zero weaknesses. However they have to obey rules that are so strict that they basically can't do anything to anyone, without their explicit permission. And if they do try and break the rules, then their counterparts get to balance the scales.

In short? I imagine Steven would actually be really good against breaking possessions, but not much good against anything else. And the breaking possession thing is more encouraging the victim to shake it off (in universe, humanities free will is it's ultimate trump card. They can defy literally anything, regardless of the power disparity, though most don't realize that)

Well, power wise. I'm pretty sure he could do lots of other stuff. Heh, and wasn't Harry looking for someone to wield the Sword of Love? :smallwink:

[Forum Explorer]

so here is the explanation bob learns gems are bodies made of light and their consciousness are still in their gems so what our friendly neighborhood pervert gonna do first somehow teach harry light magic with cost of building him a gem home since harry needs knowledge about red court and ritual he gonna agree with bob so after chichen itza event harry gonna sit and carve gem for bob who gonna use new gem to try to get his freedom but squirt( aka harry and lashciels daughter gonna get the gem due harry's pregnancy issue and we have maggie's sister as spirit of intellect / gem on reömaining books while bob still pestering harry for another gem home for himself.
side note I am gonna ask dresden community about legality of my post

Harry doesn't need to ask permission or bargain with Bob, he just doesn't like the idea that Bob's a slave and can't disobey him, so his subconscious reflects that and gives Bob a lot more latitude.

Similarly, Harry doesn't have to fulfill any deal he makes with Bob, but does for much the same reason. Point is? Making Bob his new home was more out of concern for Bob's safety and regard for his friendship with him then out of obligation. He would likely refuse to make Bob a crystal home for much the same reason as denying him body possessions whenever possible.

[khadgar567]

Harry doesn't need to ask permission or bargain with Bob, he just doesn't like the idea that Bob's a slave and can't disobey him, so his subconscious reflects that and gives Bob a lot more latitude.

Similarly, Harry doesn't have to fulfill any deal he makes with Bob, but does for much the same reason. Point is? Making Bob his new home was more out of concern for Bob's safety and regard for his friendship with him then out of obligation. He would likely refuse to make Bob a crystal home for much the same reason as denying him body possessions whenever possible.
cold days he needed to made new skull for him so he can get his help if we add steven universe to mix bob might get new idea :)

[Forum Explorer]

cold days he needed to made new skull for him so he can get his help if we add steven universe to mix bob might get new idea :)

That's what I mean, strictly speaking, Harry didn't need to make him a new skull. He could have made Bob tell him what he needed to know, and Bob couldn't refuse him.

But a much better point is that the skull Harry made is described as crude in comparison to what Bob already has. And the gem things look like they'd be even more complex to master.

[khadgar567]

put harry's ass on life or dead situation and see how quickly he learns an masters whatever mancy you want your plot to be derailed by it

[Keltest]

put harry's ass on life or dead situation and see how quickly he learns an masters whatever mancy you want your plot to be derailed by it

Actually, I don't ever remember Harry learning any sort of magic on the fly. Any time he comes up with a new trick its between books where he has a lot of time to refine his ability. He's decent at adapting his existing magic in new and exciting ways, but part of that is specifically because its the same spell in principal.

[Seerow]

Actually, I don't ever remember Harry learning any sort of magic on the fly. Any time he comes up with a new trick its between books where he has a lot of time to refine his ability. He's decent at adapting his existing magic in new and exciting ways, but part of that is specifically because its the same spell in principal.

Yeah the biggest exception I can think of is sue(we never see Harry do any sort of necromancy before out after), but I believe that later got explained by it actually being a simple spell that just needed lots of power, and Harry tapped a ley-line that runs through the museum.

[The Glyphstone]

That, and he had an instruction manual written by the most powerful necromancer of all time in his hand/head at the time.

[Eldan]

And the most magical night of the year, and a massive ritual going on that amplified necromantic energies. And the perfect bones to do it on.

[eggynack]

I feel like Steven Universe folk would be pretty outclassed in the Dresdenverse. The crystal gems are strong, but their basic MO is just direct attacking, and not always especially intelligent direct attacking. They got taken out by sentient watermelons for crissakes. Could they do well against some troll, or white/red court vampire, or some of the fomor? Yeah, probably. But everything in Steven Universe exists in this kinda narrow power band. You have normal humans, and then the significantly more powerful gems, and everything more or less falls into one of those two categories, with rare exceptions (Lapis, mostly). The protagonists are rarely forced out of their power level comfort zone, and victory has a lot more to do with gaining something as a character than actually having a better plan or being stronger or anything like that.

Contrast that with Dresden, where you have like a billion orders of magnitude of power. Power that defies human comprehension or proper ordering to some extent. We know that you essentially have these over-god characters, mostly the mothers and archangels so far, and then god characters, people on the level of Mab, Odin, and the Erlking, as well as probably Ferrovax, and then you have stuff around fae lady level, with Lea hanging out between this group and the last, and this group is probably where, say, the senior council hangs out. And then you have Dresden, probably, about five levels from the top. And there's a whole massive sorting algorithm of power hanging out beneath Dresden too. All that's to say nothing of, say, Merlin, outsiders, Cowl, or any number of other characters with unclear power rankings, but whose estimate hits something around pretty damn high.

All this to say, sure, the gems could probably fight away at foes a couple of levels below Dresden, but put them up against someone at his level, or, worse, someone above his level, and they're screwed. Hell, put them up against Ace and they'd probably get taken out, just because a stealthy assassination plot would probably get them really well (even if you'd have to account for their crazy resilience). The Dresden Files is a book series largely about characters scraping for ways to fight outside their weight class, and that's something I don't think Steven Universe characters are all that equipped to do.

SU characters rarely, if ever, take a minute or ten to step back and say, "Okay, this enemy is incredibly strong, but here's a plan that has a decent shot at beating them." It's telling that the one time they did that they all got captured basically immediately before escaping based on an enemy screw up. Dresden would never have been so caught off guard by home world gems. He would have set up his staging ground, pulled in enough allies to make it a real fight, and attempted to anticipate his opponent's attacks and create plans to neutralize or evade them. With Dresden's leadership, they'd be effective allies, because it's not like the various characters he pulls in are out of their league, but the team would probably fail to go toe to toe with most major enemies, simply because a run up and punch strategy isn't all that effective. Maybe they would have done better back in the Rose years.

[Lord Raziere]

Hm, I dunno about that, Dresdenverse characters don't seem that powerful. or have much in the way of tiers.

Its gritty urban fantasy, most of the big powerful stuff is tied up in so many rules and ritualistic stuff that you honestly can't see any of them actually wrecking the world except in very exceptional circumstances. that and the Gems have fusion, they can take on things outside their weight class by just fusing to become more powerful, they've done it multiple times.

in contrast, there are very little rules to how Gem magic works and the stuff we've seen works on planetary scales: a Gem that can shift oceans, a superweapon that could crack open the planet from the inside, another superweapon that can corrupt all Gems on a planet, terraforming an entire planet into a base, sure the Crystal Gems don't have access to any of this, but given how fast any of these could disrupt or destroy all life on Earth and you see what level they're playing at, especially when they fuse to take on threats like Malachite.

in contrast, the so-called "Gods" don't seem to be anything particularly powerful in a linear way in Dresdenverse. Neither the Angels nor the Demons can take action directly without getting reprisal from the other. the Fae are bound by very weird rules. the Gods have their own rules to follow and, really, none of these supernatural entities seem any way equipped to handle Gem level battles. their power is never really shown in full and their rules make sure they can only use small parts of it. the Wizards are the ones we see the most with power, but even then, their power is more through prep time and analysis than straight up raw power.

that and if the Crystal Gems have been around for 5000 years, then they're probably OLDER than the vast majority of the supernatural world in the Dresdenverse. and they haven't been lazy, they've been hunting things and being badass since before most of human civilization existed. So really, if they're on the same Earth, then the supernatural world and the Crystal Gems would already know each other and if the Crystal Gems have survived long enough for Steven to exist, then the Crystal Gems would probably be more badass than their canon selves, and people would know not to mess with them because hey, only line of defense against alien space rock empire with far greater tech and ability to kill us all, maybe we shouldn't screw with them.

because as per the OP's premise, an errant warp pad would send them to Chicago. no Warp pad can connect to anything that isn't another Warp pad. Warp Pads don't have the power to connect to alternate universes, because the energy requirements for that are probably ludicrous, and no warp pads would be in a parallel universe where Gems didn't exist anyways, therefore the only logical way for the premise to work is if Dresdenverse and Gems were on the same Earth, and therefore if the Crystal Gems being the badasses they are, must've somehow survived 5000 years of dealing with the supernatural world to get to this point, would know a lot of people and how to beat them, therefore Gems still win, because they're literally older and more experienced than most everyone Harry interacts with.

[Benthesquid]

because as per the OP's premise, an errant warp pad would send them to Chicago. no Warp pad can connect to anything that isn't another Warp pad. Warp Pads don't have the power to connect to alternate universes, because the energy requirements for that are probably ludicrous, and no warp pads would be in a parallel universe where Gems didn't exist anyways, therefore the only logical way for the premise to work is if Dresdenverse and Gems were on the same Earth, and therefore if the Crystal Gems being the badasses they are, must've somehow survived 5000 years of dealing with the supernatural world to get to this point, would know a lot of people and how to beat them, therefore Gems still win, because they're literally older and more experienced than most everyone Harry interacts with.

The premise of the OP was that the Warp Pad, in this odd scenario, did have the power to connect to alternate universes. Add as many levels of techno/magibabble as you need to to feel comfortable with that.

"What might it look like if the original Homeworld Gems coming to colonize Earth had arrived on Dresdenverse Earth," is also an interesting question though.

[Sholos]

Honestly, I don't think the Gem Crew stands much of a chance. Not long run, anyways. They're largely about punching things until they go down with a side of befriending the problem. Both of which could go very badly considering the power levels involved in the Dresden-verse. Angels obviously aren't a worry, both since they'd be on the Gem's side and that they're not allowed to interfere, but the Fallen? I don't even want to think about the consequences of the Fallen encountering the Gems and Steven. Imagine if Steven accidentally touched one of the Coins... Or Connie, who's definitely been shown to be more aggressive and willing to outright fight things than Steven. Then you've got both Winter and Summer who are great at manipulation and have a pretty sizeable amount of muscle as well. I don't really know how the Gems would handle actual subtlety since that's one thing their opponents have largely lacked up to this point. And then there are the various gods. Now, they're limited in just how much they're allowed to interfere (or simply don't care? I'm not quite sure on that point), but I don't think the Gems could even hope to compare. Harry is (at this point) a pretty big figure, and even he doesn't have anything close to a hope of countering an actual god. See his encounter with Hades to see how that went I do think they'd be alright against some of the White Court, especially since most of them seem to be pretty strong emotionally which is basically all of the various White Court families' weaknesses. Garnet alone would almost certainly outright destroy any Wraithe vamp she got her hands on.

Also wanted to point out that most of Winter's power is tied up in protecting our universe from Things From Beyond that would annihilate everything if they got in. And they still largely manage to push around several factions at the same time. Winter is freaking Scary.

[The Glyphstone]

I'd look more at when Dresden met Odin/Vadderung in his office during Changes. Harry's a pretty badass wizard, and Odin pins him to the floor, immobile and paralyzed, just by thinking about doing so. Admittedly, it was in Vadderung's sanctum where he's at 100% power and not somethin he can do easily if at all out in the world, but it's a benchmark.