Share your stories

[Kevin Drake]

Just want to say that this specific thread is for people to dump their d&d stories. Anyways on with my story: I was in a group of four (not counting the dm), who had just discovered a heavily guarded underwater fortress on the outskirts of Atlantis. My three teammates decided to sneak in all metal gear solid style with cardboard boxes, while I dressed up as a mariachi band member. Anyways, of course our dragonborn paladin got spotted, and despite being literally brain dead, he managed to use the forgery kit we had him hold onto to make a convincing document thanks to a natural 20, and they let him in, and in the meantime, the rest of us were in a hidden passage that our rouge found thanks to a natural 20 on his perception check. We then came across a fork in the path, I went right while they went left. They then discovered a black market deal going on and then our route killed half of them while our fighter was distracting them. And I (the healer/mage), got to the throne room but was discovered by the real mariachi band, who I promptly murdered brutally and painfully. Our sessions ended there (btw it was all of our first sessions and it was a week ago, so we have yet to have another. We could tomorrow if our dm wasn't out of town)

[Kevin Drake]

Rouge not route, (goddammit autocorrect)

[Breaklance]

Some funny moments

Our group was trying to sneak into a cultist camp and had 2 of their uniforms. Me(the bard) and the rogue dressed up and we're going to escort the barbarian and paladin into their forward camp as our prisoners and deceit persuade our way into the main camp. Solid plan I have +9 to persuade and deceit. Roll d20....

Halt who goes there?
*rolls a nat 1*
We're not cultist and were here to kill you...I mean ugh crap.

Roll for initiative . We spent a good 10 minutes irl decding on a plan and it all fell apart in one roll. This was like the 2nd session of this group too.

Some time later, same group, we came to an inn but all rooms were rented out to some posh looking noblemen and they couldn't be persuaded to give us even one of the rooms in any way shape or form. They eventually insult our barbarian who responds by whipping out his ^*{€ and peeing on their shoes. I being a mischeivious bard use prestigation at the same time to soil their shoes.

Our rogue yells out across the bar or the tavern "holy crap shonuff can piss ****!"

Roll for initiative. Turns out they were some pretty tough assassins. We were just trying to start a bar fight and they brought out their swords immediately so magic started being flung, the inn set on fire, and one (of 4) dead assassins later we've got their boss tied up and questioning him by the light of an inn burning to the ground. We still slept outside

[poolio]

Haha awesome, sounds like a fun group :smallwink:

Well i have a few, some of which I've mentioned on these forums before, but screw it i think they're great and i like telling them:smalltongue:

So i had an Aarakocra monk named Kung-pow, he had the gladiator background and was a luchador.

So one time going though an enemy base, an old castle they haf set up shop in, we had been in a few fights but managed to keep the alarms from being set off, after finishing our last battle we decided to try some stealth to maybe keep the alarms quiet, rogue and i happened across a room with three cultists plus one commander looking type in it, it appeared to a room that they were raining smaller dragons in, they were kept in several open pits, big mistake, should have spung for some cage covers.

Anyway we tell the crew what we saw and try to formulate a plan, a bunch of cowardly choices being thrown around force me to do something drastic, while the team is taking forever i tell the GM i take one of the previously killed henchmans bloodied and torn clothes, put them on, and proceed to burst through the door yelling "intruders, intruders!"

Conversation goes something like this.

Me: "Intruders! Coming soon, get ready, quick!"

Commander: "what!? who's here? Who are you? I've never seen you before"

Me: "I'm new, no time, they're almost here, a group of psychopaths, they whipped out everyone heading this way, i barley escaped, we have to get ready!"

One Preform check vs insight later

Commander: "hmm...alright well you heard him, get into position, ready your weapons!"

By now everyone in the room is situated behind one of the puts to keep the fierce band of mercenaries from just rushing them, with crossbows pointed at the entrance, I manage to position myself behind the commander, telling her more about the quickly approaching dangers.

After everyone's attention is well trained on the door, i shove the commander into a pit, the feral beats in the pit tear her apart pretty much instantly, and this happens, much to my surprise, without alerting the others in the room, so i decide to press my luck and run straight at the next closest pit with two more guys, shoving them both in, by now the last guys is starting to take notice, he shoots, missing me, poor guy, i then run full steam and drop kick him into the pit he thought would protect him.

So after all that i go to the door, open it, and tell my comrades, "s'all clear"

I think the GM was having fun actually doing some role playing and things other then just, 'we show up, we hurt things toll they're gone' type of stuff my group usually did :smallwink:

More to come later.

[mgshamster]

Way back in 2e, I was playing a sailor (fighter) on a pirate ship. He was low ranking on the boat, and left to go on this adverture (kind of forced into it). As a pirate/sailor, he had the habit of selling everything at each port, buying what was needed for the next leg, and spending the rest of booze and brothels.

My character had the highest strength of the group at 17, and became the designated mule for every item the rest of the group didn't want. I didn't mind; I often volunteered for it. As soon as we got to the next city, I'd announce to the DM that I visit the local shops to sell off some gear, buy some equipment for the next leg of the journey, and them spend whatever was left on booze and brothels.

It took the gaming group about six months of real time before they finally realized what I was doing and exactly what it meant.

"Hey, didn't we have a rope of climbing? We got it a few months ago."

"Yeah! Hamster's PC has it."

"No I don't."

"What do you mean? You carry everything no one else wants."

"Sorry, I don't have it. It's not written on my character sheet. Must have sold it."

And that's when it dawned on them that Every. Single. Time. we visited a town, I would do the same exact thing: sell off any equipment (including *all* magical equipment), purchase stuff needed for the next mission (even if it was just food or pitons or other normal equipment), and spend the rest on booze and brothels. I never hid it. I always said it aloud. Just no one figured I'd sell of thousands of gold worth of stuff just to spend it on getting drunk and laid at each town.

It was fantastic.

[vostyg]

Rouge not route, (goddammit autocorrect)

Actually, "rogue" is the word you're looking for. Rouge is a red powder or cream used as a cosmetic for coloring the cheeks or lips.

[Specter]

Way back in 2e, I was playing a sailor (fighter) on a pirate ship. He was low ranking on the boat, and left to go on this adverture (kind of forced into it). As a pirate/sailor, he had the habit of selling everything at each port, buying what was needed for the next leg, and spending the rest of booze and brothels.

My character had the highest strength of the group at 17, and became the designated mule for every item the rest of the group didn't want. I didn't mind; I often volunteered for it. As soon as we got to the next city, I'd announce to the DM that I visit the local shops to sell off some gear, buy some equipment for the next leg of the journey, and them spend whatever was left on booze and brothels.

It took the gaming group about six months of real time before they finally realized what I was doing and exactly what it meant.

"Hey, didn't we have a rope of climbing? We got it a few months ago."

"Yeah! Hamster's PC has it."

"No I don't."

"What do you mean? You carry everything no one else wants."

"Sorry, I don't have it. It's not written on my character sheet. Must have sold it."

And that's when it dawned on them that Every. Single. Time. we visited a town, I would do the same exact thing: sell off any equipment (including *all* magical equipment), purchase stuff needed for the next mission (even if it was just food or pitons or other normal equipment), and spend the rest on booze and brothels. I never hid it. I always said it aloud. Just no one figured I'd sell of thousands of gold worth of stuff just to spend it on getting drunk and laid at each town.

It was fantastic.

I award you with inspiration.

[Specter]

Our 3.5 bard was a very charming and intelligent guy, even in real life. He was able to elaborate complex plans on the spot and get his way around most encounters.

At a time, he was trying to woo the princess into letting us stay in court.
Roll: natural 20 (something like 35 in those days)
Speech: I can see now that the legends are true, your mother has indeed inherited your beauty!

Everybody: ....
Wth was that?

Him: Okay, brain fart, I failed.

We were asked to get away from her.

[mgshamster]

I award you with inspiration.

Ha! Thanks! Also, to note, that wasn't a sailors campaign, it was a normal on-land campaign going across mountains and deserts and forests getting from one major city to the next.

In that same group was a wizard (who had to pretend to be a fighter), a wizard-hunting fighter, and a knight (bard, gallant kit).

The wizard hunting fighter had a special ability that allowed him to know when a spell was cast within a certain range. It was a percent chance to know, and it wouldn't tell him who did it, only that one was cast.

It just so happened that every time our wizard cast a spell, the fighter failed his check (wizard also only cast spells when the fighter wasn't looking). The rare occasions when the fighter did detect a spell being cast and it was our wizard who did it, the enemy we were fighting also happened to have a spell caster and the fighter would charge in to kill him.

Then, as soon as our wizard was out of spells, he would draw his sword and charge into melee. Coincidentally, I've never seen so many nat 20s rolled. That wizard hit at least twice every battle before he was knocked unconscious (with a -5 to hit for not having proficiency with the weapon). Then the wizard-hunting fighter would abandon whatever he was doing to rescue his fallen combat brethren.

It was about a year into the game, real time, when the fighter finally learned the truth about his comrade. By that time, we were level 4 and had plenty of in character time to convince the fighter that not all wizards were bad.

(You read that right, a year of gaming every weekend - 10 hour sessions - to reach level 4).

[DMThac0]

On the other side of the screen:

I was running a homebrew having come up with this fun story about Loki tricking all the Dieties with a mind game while he wreaked havoc on the material plane in their absence. Now, I've run a number of campaigns by this time and I've come to realize that players almost never follow the advice of the NPC who told them "Go see the king about this thing". More often than not some shiny object, monster, cave or anything but the objective completely derailing things for a while. From these experiences I've decided to put in those side quests on purpose so that the players can get the adventuring itch taken care of and have it help them progress simultaneously. Enter my newest victims players, who for the first time in my life as a DM, skipped every cliched trope and walked directly to the throne room...2 levels lower than I had anticipated.

I tossed a dilapidated tower, with a broken down wagon on the side of the road leading to the tower, less than a 10 minute walk from them. They walked on by sending an animal messenger back to their home town to send help.
They had a bandit ambush while they were in the city, trapped in an alley, they used their horses to ride past/thru their blockade and found the town guard.
At one point in time they ran across the King's Knights out on a mission, they chatted it up with the Knights, wished them well, and went on to the castle with a bit better understanding of the King's personality.

Of course I told the group after the session with the king that they had completely thwarted all my planning, with good humor all around. Still the funniest discussion I've ever had:

DM: You guys skipped every encounter I threw at you, you found ways to avoid combat completely, and circumvented almost every trap and pitfall I planned...You guys should be at least 2 level higher than what you are.
Players: *lauging* I guess we need some RP experience, and maybe be a little less focused on the task at hand?
DM: Heck, I'm half inclined to give you all an extra half level due to the ingenuity you used to get out of those situations!

[Breaklance]

I award you with inspiration.


Lol I have totally done the same with my bard and my parties rogue. We have a bit of a Road to El Dorado thing going on and the party let us sell the treasure from the first several dungeons. We were nicer about it though....sold all and for example would get 2000 gp then come back to the party saying we got 1500 for it. The DM lets them roll off insight vs my deceit which is horrendously one sided in my favor. The rogue and I split what we skim off the top

First time this happened I, ooc, said what do you expect letting the bard with a criminal past and the treasure hunting rogue sell all the loot. DM backed me up saying we were and have been way nicer about it (which I Rp saying we're only taking what we think we can get away with as opposed to "oh noes we got mugged on our way to the shops and lost all the loot")

But yeah I'd award all of the inspiration to you at the moment your party figured out you've been whoring in style all this time