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2D8HP
2016-11-04, 09:23 PM
Um.... instead of derailing a very fine Worldbuilding thead:


(I just can't resist it anymore)

In notRussia you don't level up with experience, experience up level YOU!




In Not!Russia, Lich is quest giver!


In notRussia, inn-builders meet on adventures!
In notRussia, dragon steals YOUR loot!
In notRussia, artifact is corrupted by you!
In notRussia, ten foot pole uses you to check for traps!
In notRussia, you pickpocket party rogue!
In notRussia, spells fire-and-forget wizard!

....I'm addicted.


(There just needs to be more!)

In notRussia Dungeon explores YOU!

In notRussia YOU heal CLERIC!

In notRussia half-orc is the result of tragedy for ORC!

In notRussia Spell uses up WIZARDS!

In notRussia Feats gain YOU!

In notRussia Hobgoblins count as PACIFISTS!

In notRussia PC's don't form a party, Party forms YOU!

In notRussia treasure gathers YOU!


Please help!

Velaryon
2016-11-04, 09:59 PM
In notRussia, undead turns you!

In notRussia, potion drinks you!

In notRussia, prerequisites meet you!

RazorChain
2016-11-04, 10:23 PM
In notRussia you hoard loot and monsters raid your home for gold and xp.

In notRussia the paladin gets smitten

In notRussia your first quest that you get from the Lich is to clear dragons from his cellar.

In notRussia you had to pay the Lich 5000 gp for completing his quest.

In notRussia you sell treasure maps to shady men in taverns.

In notRussia you accept handouts from beggars so you can pay for your quests

Tohron
2016-11-04, 10:39 PM
In notRussia the game breaks PunPun
In notRussia the Omniscificer knows nothing
In notRussia the Fighter wins fights and the Wizard tanks damage
In notRussia Commoners are OP.

2D8HP
2016-11-04, 11:15 PM
In notRussia The Unknown Searches YOU!

In notRussia The Borderlands Keep YOU!

In notRussia Horror of Tombs!

In notRussia Giants Against YOU!

In notRussia The Drow Vault YOU!

In notRussia Elemental Evil Temple YOU!

In notRussia Phandelver Mine YOU!

GnomishPride
2016-11-04, 11:25 PM
In notRussia, classes take you!
In notRussia, up levels you!
In notRussia, skills make you checks!
In notRussia, explosions make gnomes!
In notRussia, you hurt weapons!
In notRussia, you track ranger!

Madbox
2016-11-05, 12:30 AM
In notRussia you fall, rocks die!
In notRussia, the sun ironheart surges you!
In notRussia, you heal and give stuff to villains.

Batou1976
2016-11-05, 01:26 AM
In notRussia, hit points depletes YOU

In notRussia, d20 rolls YOU

In notRussia, sentient item wields YOU (okay, this can happen normally, also :smallbiggrin: )

In notRussia, armor wears YOU

In notRussia, skill is proficient in YOU

In notRussia, spell prepares YOU

In notRussia, character class picks YOU

In notRussia, lone 1HD kobold slays YOU... and the rest of the party

In notRussia, party splits YOU

In notRussia, dungeon clears YOU

In notRussia, XP gains YOU

In notRussia, equipment buys YOU

In notRussia, character generates YOU

In notRussia, sword enchants YOU

In notRussia, explosion happens to YOU

In notRussia, fire is burned by YOU

In notRussia, language learns YOU

In notRussia, GP earns YOU

In notRussia, Mind Flayer is dominated by YOU (you dirty boy :smalltongue: )

In notRussia, role plays YOU

Doorhandle
2016-11-05, 02:08 AM
In notRussia, You curse mummies with mummy rot!

In notRussia, Limbs regenerate trolls!

In notRussia, Maneuvers initiate you!

In notRussia, the darkness casts magic missile at you!

In notRussia, fire is known for breathing dragons!

In notRussia, You engulf gelatinous cubes!

In notRussia, You rust monsters!

And of course; in In notRussia, Memes repeat you!

Ninjadeadbeard
2016-11-05, 02:48 AM
In NotRussia, the Playground is in a Giant!

JAL_1138
2016-11-05, 06:50 AM
In NotRussia, treasure chest opens you! Is because we are having terrible mimic infestation. Is very serious problem, many people killed. Please help.

In NotRussia, vampire burns the sun! He is unholy tyrant who is ruling with iron fist and power like god. Crops wither and everything freeze. Please help.

In NotRussia, vodka drinks you! Water-weird get into distillery; many worker die. Please help.

Vinyadan
2016-11-05, 08:19 AM
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5GK8ewRec7c

Black Socks
2016-11-05, 08:47 AM
In notRussia, you must get demons OUT OF the Abyss!
In notRussia, dungeon delves in YOU! (kinky....:smalltongue:)
In notRussia, opportunities make attacks against YOU!
In notRussia, armor wears no wizard!
In notRussia, familiar summons YOU!
In notRussia, animal get ranger companion!

Tiktik Ironclaw
2016-11-05, 10:21 AM
In NotRussia, traps make insidious kobolds!

In NotRussia, drow male in charge of drow female!

In NotRussia, Gouda cheese can't resist the taste of a fine hobgoblin! :smalltongue:

In NotRussia, gnolls are best workers, and very Lawful Good!

In NotRussia, worg rides goblin!

2D8HP
2016-11-05, 11:49 AM
In notRussia YOU eat Mind Flayer brains!

(Mix with beet, make soup. Is one of many fine delicacies you enjoy. Bring many brains whole family. We have much scenic splendors, such as the majestic Meenlock moose.)

TheTeaMustFlow
2016-11-05, 12:34 PM
[B]We have much scenic splendors, such as the majestic Meenlock moose.)

Wait a minute, majestic moose is from notSweden (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=79TVMn_d_Pk)!

...I see you have learned secret of success in adventuring from great notRussian research magician (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gXlfXirQF3A).

2D8HP
2016-11-05, 12:57 PM
I see you have learned secret of success in adventuring from great notRussian research magician (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gXlfXirQF3A).

черт побери!

JAL_1138
2016-11-05, 05:10 PM
In NotRussia, metal smiths dwarf! Insane automatons are kill many dwarf and make into flesh golems to attack surface. Hundreds dead. Please help.

2D8HP
2016-11-05, 05:43 PM
In notRussia YOU bite Vampires!

Little joke. Hardly any Undead at all. Bring much livestock loved ones for visit. You will have a small chance of survival wonderful time for whole family.

(please send help while they're still any living left)

JAL_1138
2016-11-05, 08:04 PM
In NotRussia, vacation takes you! To Barovia. Whole village swept up into mists and vanish, two week ago. I lose family. Please help.

In NotRussia, witch burns villagers! Witch is Baba Yaga. She has kill hundreds of people and have curse many more. We always are living in fear of her. Please help.

In NotRussia, vampire stakes you! Vampire impale his enemies on pikes, and setting them up on the streets as warning. We cannot sleep for the screaming. Please help.

Cluedrew
2016-11-05, 08:53 PM
To JAL_1138: Your obviously not from notRussia, because in notRussia quest-givers save adventures.

2D8HP
2016-11-05, 09:35 PM
In notRussia adventures give quest to strange old men in taverns.
EDIT:
(Oops someone beat me to it):



In notRussia you sell treasure maps to shady men in taverns.



In notRussia Warlock buys soul.


(OK then.....to combone a couple of previous ones)

IN NotRussia instead of PC's forming party to investigate Dungeons, Party form dungeon to investigate PC's!

(Now I'm starting to wonder about Worldbuilding this threads notRussia :smallbiggrin:)

Tohron
2016-11-05, 09:54 PM
In notRussia, 2nd level Commoner is more common than 1st level Commoner.

NecroDancer
2016-11-05, 11:02 PM
In notRussia fire resists teifling

Vizzerdrix
2016-11-05, 11:06 PM
In notrussia chickens abuse commoner infested flaw.

Doorhandle
2016-11-05, 11:42 PM
To JAL_1138: Your obviously not from notRussia, because in notRussia quest-givers save adventures.

Those are the adventures. They're in over their heads. :smallbiggrin:

GnomishPride
2016-11-05, 11:42 PM
In notRussia, commoners steal from evil PCs!
In notRussia, gold hoards adventurers!
In notRussia, locks pick thieves!
In notRussia, fire breathes dragons!
In notRussia, undead raise you!
In notRussia, gods worship cleric!
In notRussia, players rule 0 the DM!
In notRussia, Lolth worships drow!

2D8HP
2016-11-06, 12:02 AM
In notRussia adventures get map in Dungeon of the way to the tavern so they can get the treasures in there!


(My kind of treasure! :smallsmile:)

GnomishPride
2016-11-06, 12:46 AM
In notRussia adventures get map in Dungeon of the way to the tavern so they can get the treasures in there!


(My kind of treasure! :smallsmile:)



Ah yes, the ultimate goal of the adventurer: Beer & Babes (which is really what D&D should have been called) :smalltongue:

Batou1976
2016-11-06, 02:13 AM
In notRussia adventures get map in Dungeon of the way to the tavern so they can get the treasures in there!


(My kind of treasure! :smallsmile:)



In notRussia, tavern wench hits on YOU :smallbiggrin:

Cluedrew
2016-11-06, 08:01 AM
To Doorhandle: Well, let's send in a tavern of quest givers. Yes, a group of quest givers is called a tavern. OK, I just made that up.

To Batou1976: Considering the social grace of some adventures that happens outside... oh, "hits on" not just hit. So I guess in notRussia, adventures fend off unwanted advances from local girls? (Actually did misread that the first time.)

In notRussia, raising stats levels up!

Black Socks
2016-11-06, 08:05 AM
In notRussia, level 1 commoner kill cat!
Try some cat stew. It's tasty.

JAL_1138
2016-11-06, 09:14 AM
To JAL_1138: Your obviously not from notRussia, because in notRussia quest-givers save adventures.


Those are the adventures. They're in over their heads. :smallbiggrin:

Da, comrade. In NotRussia, heads are in over you! NotRussia very dangerous place. Terrible vargouille infestation. Creations of powerful mage named Rozvankee the Strategist who conquer large part of NotRussia once long ago. Vargouilles kill many people, their heads fly away as more vargouilles. Please help.

eru001
2016-11-06, 11:04 PM
In notRussia crossbow shoot you

In notRussia you no get cold. COLD GET YOU

JAL_1138
2016-11-06, 11:41 PM
In notRussia crossbow shoot you

Da, comrade. Baba Yaga animate crossbows she take from dead adventurers. They attack travelers on road at night, many deaths. Please help.



In notRussia you no get cold. COLD GET YOU
Da, comrade. The ice para-elementals and ice fundamentals have kill many people, and destroying fields so that whole villages starve. Please help.

Batou1976
2016-11-07, 01:09 AM
To Batou1976: Considering the social grace of some adventures that happens outside... oh, "hits on" not just hit. So I guess in notRussia, adventures fend off unwanted advances from local girls? (Actually did misread that the first time.)

I guess it could be from any local girl, but I see the taven wenches as being much more aggressive about it. :smallbiggrin::smalleek:

Also, given some of the suggestions I just know have been said to the D&D multiverse's beleaguered tavern wenches, the ones in notRussia will probably brazenly ask two guys from the party to come back to her room so she can watch them... :smalleek:

Black Socks
2016-11-07, 06:38 PM
In notRussia, ale drink adventurer!
Crazed wizard has made ale elementals. They consume people whole. Please help.

Batou1976
2016-11-08, 01:15 AM
In notRussia, tavern wench hits on YOU :smallbiggrin:

Tavern owner is retired high level wizard. His barmaids are summoned succubus. Most of town drunks have died. Please help.

UristMcRandom
2016-11-17, 06:01 PM
Can this please be made into an actual setting? I want to run a game in it.

2D8HP
2016-11-17, 07:06 PM
Can this please be made into an actual setting? I want to run a game in it.
The original notRussia thread (http://www.giantitp.com/forums/showthread.php?505000-notRussia) may help.

Also, in notRussia adventures bring treasure TO Dungeon!

The Witch Tsar demands tribute.
Please help!

NecroDancer
2016-11-17, 07:18 PM
In NotRussia fire breathes dragons!
(Tornado of fire appeared in fields, dragons fly out of tornado, many deaths, riding horse died, can't escape, crops burned, pls help.

falcon1
2016-11-17, 08:57 PM
In NotRussia you eat ghouls! (There is nothing else to eat. The dragon-breathing fire has destroyed all the crops. Please help.)

UristMcRandom
2016-11-17, 09:20 PM
In notRussia 10-foot pole searches for traps with you.

Great wizard animate many 10-foot poles to create automatic trap-searching. But poles got too smart and using people to check for the traps. Many people died. Please help.

TheTeaMustFlow
2016-11-18, 09:48 AM
In NotRussia you eat ghouls! (There is nothing else to eat. The dragon-breathing fire has destroyed all the crops. Please help.)

In notRussia, fire breathes dragon!

...Epic Fire Elemental Sorcerer use epic spell to summon dragons (http://www.dandwiki.com/wiki/SRD:Dragon_Strike) to conquer land. Bad news is, many people dead. Good news is, ice para-elementals also dead! See, in notRussia we make progress!

falcon1
2016-11-21, 05:45 PM
In notRussia, fires start goblins! ( Fire spirits have taken over goblin tribes and whipped them up into massive hordes. Entire towns have been destroyed. Please help)

Madbox
2016-11-21, 11:46 PM
In notRussia, lock picks rogue! Is tradition for locksmith apprentice to be bonded with intelligent magic lock as graduation ceremony.

In notRussia, you hook plot! Plot is kind of fish. Is delicious.

In notRussia, Lich destroys your phylactery! Which is your body. Sorry.

In notRussia, dragon slays you! Is quite good comedian, very funny.

In notRussia, dead raise Cleric! And bring down again. And again. Cleric dead now, need help.

In notRussia, missile deflects monk! Told him he need better acrobatics skill to try jump kick, but he no listen.

eru001
2016-11-25, 11:18 AM
In not-Russia you no find treasure. Treasure Find You.

In not-Russia you no use rope. Rope use you.

In not-Russia you no swing sword. Sword Swing you.

Mith
2016-12-19, 09:49 PM
Earlier in the thread:


In notRussia, the sun ironheart surges you!

Consider that the sun supernovas when it starts producing iron in it's core...

Also, ten-foot poles in notRussia? Da, comrade, you ate your borsche growing up.