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TheManicMonocle
2016-11-06, 05:15 AM
So I made this thread for you guys to share things players have done, or funny characters they've made. I'll start:

Once I had a character make a hilarious warlock in 5e, basically he was a cthulu-pact lock and his patron was.. well, the player. The character was mad as a hatter and believed they were in a game of D&D. Of course, none of the other characters believed her

hymer
2016-11-06, 05:45 AM
The only enjoyable gnome PC I've ever seen was a tinker, who invented things that either didn't work, or were wildly impractical variation on things that already existed. He had lenses he promised would make it easier to see in dark areas once your eyes adjusted to them. He felt the loss of water from a boiling pot was due to a chemical reaction between the water and the pot. He invented a hat for shade, which was a very uncomfortable way fo carrying around a parasol. And he had healing potions, which worked over night to heal hp.
The creativity was obviously in making a gnome something other than a bother and a burden.

Khaiel
2016-11-06, 06:06 AM
In a game of Anima, while a certain important noble was talking, one of the players decided that her character got bored (which was ver in-character, to be honest) and simply said:
"I throw an otter at him."

She then clarified that she would use her magic to create an otter, and then throw it at the NPC. It became a running gag, and the character would eventually have a retinue of various animal hybrids, all half otter half something.

hymer
2016-11-07, 02:40 AM
In a game of Anima, while a certain important noble was talking, one of the players decided that her character got bored (which was ver in-character, to be honest) and simply said:
"I throw an otter at him."

She then clarified that she would use her magic to create an otter, and then throw it at the NPC. It became a running gag, and the character would eventually have a retinue of various animal hybrids, all half otter half something.

Otterly ridiculous. :smallwink: It reminds me of the salmon cannon (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=l9qA8c-E_oA). "We can do great things."

The Glyphstone
2016-11-07, 02:48 AM
Years and years ago, I was running a game for some friends in school. The current adventure was a huge magical academy, and each school of magic had a head professor they needed to defeat with a themed arena/sanctum tailored to their magic type. The Evocation master was a war-mage, a rather traumatized veteran of some huge magical war - under the BBEG's mind control that had taken over the school, he was reliving his war days and had rebuilt his room into a miniature battlefield full of traps and trenches. The fight was supposed to force the players to work their way across through all the obstacles while he bombarded them with magic.

Instead, the party Rogue wins initiative and shouts out "Reinforcements reporting for duty, sir!" The bluff check went off quite well, and instead of having to kill the professor, they recruited him as an ally. He became a recurring NPC, and eventually made a heroic last stand holding off an army of monsters while the PCs went to engage the BBEG directly. Sergeant Boom is still remembered somewhat fondly.

Dimers
2016-11-07, 03:14 AM
Otterly ridiculous. :smallwink: It reminds me of the salmon cannon (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=l9qA8c-E_oA). "We can do great things."

So, I got lost on TVTropes today, and spent half an hour reading about Cherry Taps (http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/CherryTapping) -- humiliating a foe by finishing them off (or even eventually whittling them down from full health to none) using the damage equivalent of a nosemeep. The most frequently recurring theme I found was hitting people with a fish.

Just sayin'.

(See also Shamu Fu (http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/ShamuFu), apparently.)

Inevitability
2016-11-07, 11:03 AM
(See also Shamu Fu (http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/ShamuFu), apparently.)


A Sub-Trope of Grievous Harm with a Body, where the body being used is that of a fish or fish-shaped animal, like a whale or seal.

I am somewhat surprised this happens frequently enough to be a trope.

Joe the Rat
2016-11-07, 11:57 AM
For some reason, I get the best Rogue players. They do the stupidest things, then find the craziest way to get out of trouble. I had an epic one come up this past weekend.

So the party is working their way through an temple dedicated to the worship of a Demigoddess of Carrion and Cannibalism. You know, the usual stuff. They find a meditation room with lovely frescoes of unholy corpse-eating symbolism, and decide to spend some time demolishing it. This makes a bit of noise. The rogue ("P") decides to take off (alone) down to an unexplored T-intersection to keep watch for trouble, and almost runs head-on into one of the temple guards: A Black Handmaiden (Ghast) and her troop of Ghouls. After blowing his surprise round on a spectacularly poor shot, P bolts down the other branch away from the party, hits a corner, then shouts further into the temple that they have company.

This gets the notice of the Temple Acolytes who have their rooms there. In short order he's got the Ghast (Death Stench and all) in his face, and is about to get pincered by some low-level priests.

So what does he do on his next turn? Fight like a cornered rat? Disengage and Dash back to the party? Of course not.

He reaches into his Robe of Useful Items, pulls off a "ring" patch, drops to one knee, and proposes to the Ghast.
Remember. Ghast: Undead, sallow-skinned, corpse eating, disease bearing, oversized claws and pointy teeth, reeks like a sun-bloated deer corpse.

And P rolls crazy high on the Charisma check.

Everybody in the fight stops for a round. Everyone playing has a solid watdafudge laugh.

The Handmaiden (and DM) are so flabberghasted that the two would-be-betrothed are effectively out of combat as they each try to talk the other into joining their side.


P does eventually get around to sneak attacking with a hidden dagger, critting massively, and dropping her with a single strike through the ribs. The heartbreaker.


And the Coda: He is taking her body back to town so she can be blessed and given a proper burial, to free her soul.


I am somewhat surprised this happens frequently enough to be a trope.

What was their rule for tropes? It has to have Three (http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/RuleOfThree) distinct examples?
(Yes, we are evil.)

Dr_Dinosaur
2016-11-07, 01:27 PM
So the PCs are travelling up through a magic tower in the land of the forgotten dead, where every 'death' is impermanent but takes just a bit of your essence each time you come back, and they get to a floor constructed entirely of grave dirt. Grave dirt in this setting is a specific thing, enchanted soil meant to prevent the dead from rising as ghosts or other undead. So eventually they stumble across the last few people stuck here, and realize the bit about the special soil, specifically that the resurrection effect doesn't work and these poor souls are trapped here as ghosts in the room they died in. None of the PCs can revive the dead (yet) so the situation is (I thought) mostly a somber reminder not to get too comfortable with their "immortality" here.

So one of the wonderful nutters I play with realizes he could just drag their corpses with him until they get to the next floor. They do, use Restore Flesh for the first time ever, and then destroy the bodies, reviving the four dead guys as per the rules. So now the party size has doubled and the rest of the game is a really fun mess of people playing multiple characters and scheming behind their own backs when the party eventually started fracturing toward the end.

Sariel Vailo
2016-11-07, 07:18 PM
hello trolls and players meet BOB. I Had a group of players at an event. we had sgt. flowers king james the third and BOB THE TORTURE OF DEVOTION. i had a simple set up find the orc necromancer. the rouge flighty had all the information flighty( was a pc, as was bob and james ,and sgt flowers.) flighty ran from sgt flowers and BOB flighty atacked them both and almost killed sgt flowers outright bob than cobatted the flighty rouge knocked him out , and than began to waterboard the rouge with urine.
i almost ahd a buddy join the group just to kill them all

TheManicMonocle
2016-11-09, 04:44 AM
hello trolls and players meet BOB. I Had a group of players at an event. we had sgt. flowers king james the third and BOB THE TORTURE OF DEVOTION. i had a simple set up find the orc necromancer. the rouge flighty had all the information flighty( was a pc, as was bob and james ,and sgt flowers.) flighty ran from sgt flowers and BOB flighty atacked them both and almost killed sgt flowers outright bob than cobatted the flighty rouge knocked him out , and than began to waterboard the rouge with urine.
i almost ahd a buddy join the group just to kill them all

Sgt. flowers? Like red vs blue? Lol

Sariel Vailo
2016-11-09, 07:56 PM
Sgt. flowers? Like red vs blue? Lol

Yes it was bad. He let himself faint no saves

Fiery Diamond
2016-11-09, 09:21 PM
Years and years ago, I was running a game for some friends in school. The current adventure was a huge magical academy, and each school of magic had a head professor they needed to defeat with a themed arena/sanctum tailored to their magic type. The Evocation master was a war-mage, a rather traumatized veteran of some huge magical war - under the BBEG's mind control that had taken over the school, he was reliving his war days and had rebuilt his room into a miniature battlefield full of traps and trenches. The fight was supposed to force the players to work their way across through all the obstacles while he bombarded them with magic.

Instead, the party Rogue wins initiative and shouts out "Reinforcements reporting for duty, sir!" The bluff check went off quite well, and instead of having to kill the professor, they recruited him as an ally. He became a recurring NPC, and eventually made a heroic last stand holding off an army of monsters while the PCs went to engage the BBEG directly. Sergeant Boom is still remembered somewhat fondly.

This is absolutely amazing. I would have loved to have been in that game.

Tough Butter
2016-11-10, 08:27 AM
In a campaign setting where gods ruled over kingdoms alongside everyone else, we had one PC who was defiantly atheist. Like, he would find excuses to why gods didn't exist while getting his butt whooped by the servants of ares. He was arrested for heresy more times than I could count. At the climax of the story, where we were brung captured and tied down at the feet of Pluto, he screamed "Now you will feel the wrath of the GODS!" Which was responded by "Gods are dumb." He died right then and there.




Also he was a cleric? I don't even understand....

hymer
2016-11-10, 09:42 AM
"Gods are dumb."

Strange women lying in ponds distributing swords is no basis for a system of government.

Cernor
2016-11-10, 03:35 PM
Strange women lying in ponds distributing swords is no basis for a system of government.

Really? Nobody blinked an eye when I declared myself an emperor because a moistened bint lobbed a scimitar at me...

hymer
2016-11-11, 06:57 AM
Really? Nobody blinked an eye when I declared myself an emperor because a moistened bint lobbed a scimitar at me...

You can't expect to wield supreme power just 'cause some watery tart threw a sword at you!

Keltest
2016-11-11, 11:07 AM
Our party was traveling between elven lands and dwarven lands, and we had to pass through a forest to do so. Along the way, we were attacked by a group of giant spiders, doing their giant spider things. We noticed they had a captive, so at that point our party wizard got the absolutely brilliant idea to set all the webbing on fire to free the poor guy.

It worked, to a point. The unfortunate fellow was a dwarf. Who had just been set on fire. The poor sod lost his entire beard. It took him 40 years to grow that beard, and our wizard burned it off.

Later, when we were still escorting him back to the dwarven kingdom, we ran into a banshee being attacked by orcs. The banshee mopped the floor with the orcs, but we finished it off. In the process though, poor Dalim got killed and reanimated as a zombie. using an item we had, we managed to control the Dalim-Zombie and get him resurrected, but man did we ever make an impression once we got to Mountain Palace (the Dwarven Kingdom) showing up with a half-incinerated zombie dwarf.

needless to say, Dalim does not like us at all. And the Dwarven King has decided he is to be our official guide through dwarven territories while we do quests.

Segev
2016-11-11, 11:21 AM
What did Dalim do to make the Dwarf King mad at him? :smallconfused:



Before I joined the game, the party in a Rifts campaign was leading an assault on a Coalition States fort. Max, a dogboy, tends to wear CS-issue armor because they're the only ones who make dogboy-shaped armor. He's in the hovercraft bay trying to figure out how he's going to get through some of the vehicles' security, when the commander of the fort, a coward fleeing his command rather than try to rally his forces to fight back, comes in.

This commander sees a dogboy and orders him, "You, dog, you're flying me out of here," and, as Max salutes and walks up, the commander uses his access codes to open a hovercraft and the hovercraft bay. At which point Max tazes him into unconsciousness.

Remedy
2016-11-11, 11:25 AM
For the first several sessions, the party did not meet the PC himself, only his followers. All of them were Awakened corgis, speaking in very professional styles and serving as effective guides, scouts, flankers, and minor magical support (as several of them had cleric levels). They couldn't hold their own in a fight, exactly, but their presence was almost always helpful.

That is, until the party realized that in order to progress to the next stage of their early mission, they needed to figure out where the next artifact was being held (they had to collect five, and currently had two). The party arcanist couldn't penetrate the artifact's defenses against Divination, so the corgis offered to bring the rest of the party to their high priest, a powerful Divination specialist. They wandered through the forest for many days at the behest of the corgis, battling a handful of monsters on the way. Eventually they reached the home village of the followers, with many buildings, not sized for medium creatures exactly but large enough that they could at least all enter the large church building.

There the PC, also a corgi like his followers, sat at the altar, his head bowed towards a symbol that appeared to resemble a golden sun with a hole in the center. As he heard the PCs enter, he lifted his head and turned to face them. All of the followers filed in behind the party and bowed their heads respectfully towards the dog on the altar as they introduced him.

"The All-Seeing Eye Dog."

Rerem115
2016-11-11, 11:39 AM
That reminds me of the time our DM made a dungeon and quest-giving NPC entirely out of Ninja Sex Party lyrics.

RedMage125
2016-11-11, 01:14 PM
So...I was running a 4e game while on deployment aboard the USS Ronald Reagan. Surprisingly, most of the players I had were Marines (I'm Navy).

Well, one Marine decided to play a Shaman, using the World Speaker option from Primal Power (in which the Shaman's companion is an elemental creature composed of nearby environment instead of a spectral animal). His backstory was amazing.

Basically, instead of being your typical "shaman", he had been an ordinary young man in his village. Since the village was pretty remote, he was a hunter, and he lived with his wife and children in a small house located pretty far away from the rest of the town. His home was attacked by a marauding pack of gnolls, and he was saved for last as the gnolls killed and ate his wife and children in front of him. Before he could be eaten, some adventurers arrived and saved him, driving off the gnolls.

He became a hermit, living off in the deep woods in a small cabin, completely withdrawing from the world. For nearly twenty years (he was about 40 at the time of the game starting), he just subsisted alone in this cabin, his only companion was the stone that he spoke to. At some point, the stone began speaking back to him, and he believed himself to be going mad, but was resigned to this fate.

After several years, the stone convinced him that he was NOT mad. He was, in fact, a "spirit talker" (member of the Shaman class), one of the few individuals chosen by Primal Spirits to be their voice in the world. The stone convinced him to imbue some of his energy into it (using the Shaman's ability to summon his companion), and the stone gathered nearby dirt and moss and became able to move on its own. Finally starting to believe he MIGHT not be crazy, he headed back to the village of his youth.

On the way, he encountered the party Barbarian and Druid (both Primal classes), who IMMEDIATELY recognized him as a "shaman", further validating his sanity, and they traveled into town together.

This was absolutely the most outside-the-box and creative take on a class I have ever seen.

Keltest
2016-11-11, 01:39 PM
What did Dalim do to make the Dwarf King mad at him? :smallconfused:

He led us to the dwarven kingdom, obviously. :smalltongue:

Stealth Marmot
2016-11-11, 04:16 PM
He led us to the dwarven kingdom, obviously. :smalltongue:

"You lead them here, now lead them EVERYWHERE THE HELL ELSE BUT HERE, UNDERSTAND??"

sengmeng
2016-11-11, 05:08 PM
In a Dark Heresy game, we captured a heretic cultist the hard way, and he needed surgery. While patching him up, we implanted a bomb and a tracking device. After interrogating him, we pretended to believe him when he said he wasn't a heretic, and let him go. He led us right to his friends, and got blown up the very next round after we demanded they surrender and they refused. And that's how we accidentally slaughtered another Inquisitor's acolytes. Good times.

raygun goth
2016-11-11, 06:15 PM
My nephew once wrote down mirror image on his character sheet as The Rea l Slim Shady.

It is straight-up the most clever thing he's ever done.

Inevitability
2016-11-12, 02:23 AM
The party discovered one of their tagalong members was a shapeshifting spy and tried to kill him, but the spy fled. Fortunately for them, they were on a boat, so the players were confident they'd find him.

The crew (a bunch of bugbear brothers) were commanded to look for the spy, but nothing was found. As I mention the bugbears returning from their search, one of the players makes a brilliant remark.

"I count the bugbears."

Sure enough, there's one too many. Sadly, the bugbears are similar enough in appearance that it's impossible to see who's extra. The player follows up with another flash of brilliance.

"I have the bugbears stand in line and make them count up in their native language."

One of the players, who speaks goblin, is able to confirm that the first bugbear did indeed say 'one', the second did say 'two', and so on... up until bugbear nine, who just mumbles something semi-goblinish.

That day, ten levels of planning got ruined because the players killed the important NPC spy.

GrayGriffin
2016-11-12, 06:07 AM
Well, honestly, a spy who can't even speak the language of a group he's pretending to belong to wasn't going to get very far anyways.

To be more on topic, I once had a character in GURPS who chose to be a hobo. His weapon was the only 0-cost item, a rock. It was actually pretty useful in the one combat they got to do.

AnBe
2016-11-12, 07:09 AM
Well, honestly, a spy who can't even speak the language of a group he's pretending to belong to wasn't going to get very far anyways.

To be more on topic, I once had a character in GURPS who chose to be a hobo. His weapon was the only 0-cost item, a rock. It was actually pretty useful in the one combat they got to do.

A rock, eh? How big was this rock, and what did he do with it? Throw it, smash a few skulls?

Inevitability
2016-11-12, 07:35 AM
Well, honestly, a spy who can't even speak the language of a group he's pretending to belong to wasn't going to get very far anyways.

It wasn't like that. The spy was originally masquerading as a kobold, so he only needed to speak draconic and common to be believable (and he did). The turning into a bugbear was a last-ditch effort to avoid combat.

Cluedrew
2016-11-12, 01:09 PM
The group I play with tends to gravitate towards... non-conventional character concepts. So the first scene of our last game (and I have yet to get tired of saying this) the first scene of our last campaign could be summed up as follows: A mercenary, a misguided mystic and a reality-TV host, with camera crew, walk into a bar.

That wasn't even the entire party.

Following up RedMage125's interesting take on classes, the most interesting character/class combination I have seen was a philosopher who could go into many works... that he couldn't read. Because he was a barbarian.

GrayGriffin
2016-11-13, 06:42 AM
A rock, eh? How big was this rock, and what did he do with it? Throw it, smash a few skulls?

A normal rock, but he managed to make a called shot with it. (I think, this was a while ago.) Also due to the low weight he had a bunch of backups as well.

Doorhandle
2016-11-13, 08:26 AM
So, I got lost on TVTropes today, and spent half an hour reading about Cherry Taps (http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/CherryTapping) -- humiliating a foe by finishing them off (or even eventually whittling them down from full health to none) using the damage equivalent of a nosemeep. The most frequently recurring theme I found was hitting people with a fish.

Just sayin'.

(See also Shamu Fu (http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/ShamuFu), apparently.)


http://i.imgur.com/fycK6.jpg

http://s1160.photobucket.com/user/strigonia/media/automotivator_zpsvoplqxox.jpg.html

http://smg.photobucket.com/user/arctrooperbum/media/motivation%20posters/improvisedweapon.jpg.html

Improved weapon proficiency is a glorious thing. I had a pathfinder society Barbadian who focused on improvised weaponry. Did better work with a 10ft pole than most people did with actual spears.

Joe the Rat
2016-11-14, 10:08 AM
Following up RedMage125's interesting take on classes, the most interesting character/class combination I have seen was a philosopher who could go into many works... that he couldn't read. Because he was a barbarian.
"Pff, writing. Recording things in chicken scratches rather than actually knowing things? It's just going to make the mind weak."
Early epic poets and probably quite a few early philosophers may scoff at writing. Why learn anything when you can just look it up?

Your people have a Strong Oral TraditionTM.