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View Full Version : Player Help New to DnD with a terrible group. What do I do? [Long text warning]



StaleGoat
2016-11-10, 10:37 PM
[Sorry for the long text]
I've played two very short games of DnD beforehand, but I still consider myself new and I have no idea how to deal with this problem.

Our game is set in the Elder Scrolls universe just after the Oblivion Crisis and the first two sessions started of pretty alright. There were only a few things I was annoyed about at first our DM always last minute makes changed depending on what his girlfriend wants, the bard (his girlfriend) never does anything other than complain, even in combat, our wizard keeps taking charge all the time and always wanders off to do pointless stuff and expects people to find him when he's done, and everyone else has no say ever.

Our last session pushed me over the limit though, we spent 5 and a half hours doing NOTHING. All we did was role-play. I'm SUPER into Role-playing but as a dumb as heck barbarian that no one listens to, I got nothing done at all. We didn't even talk to anyone but ourselves, like we've been doing all game. Our Wizard ran off somewhere again and the plan that heavily involved him failed because he wouldn't show up (he was literally off to scare homeless people), no one but me and our paladin were interested in the story lines we were given (everyone else just wanted to hang around the same place and do the same thing we were doing for the past 4 sessions, which was role-paying) even though they were all we had to do and they were supposed to be important to us.
I finally got them on track, but I had to pay everyone to join me, and the wizard made me give him 25% of the shares I made on the way. We started leaving the place, found a dungeon that the bard tried to make us skip cause she didn't want to and it would have worked if I hadn't just barged in and ignored the DM saying we should skip it. We did end up knocking out a rat and fighting a were-rat, and I found three gold that the wizard demanded that I give 25% of to her mid-dungeon and got mad when I said to wait. And then the bard got bored so the DM wrapped up the session mid fight with three other were-rats to kill.

Am I just being picky or am I just used to better games? I've never had a group so out of sync with each other and boring.

Draconium
2016-11-10, 10:52 PM
You have no obligation to play in a game you are not enjoying. If you aren't liking your group, just leave. It's better than suffering through session after session of a game you hate. A common saying on this forum: "No gaming is better than bad gaming."

SirBellias
2016-11-10, 11:02 PM
First off, welcome to the forums! And long posts are the norm around here, so no worries on that front.

It is probably you being used to better games, from my perspective. Of course, many people have different definitions of "better" when it comes to RPGs, so maybe it's just how some of them like it.

As far as I can tell, you have some options:

1: Call them out on some of the annoying stuff. This usually doesn't work, especially if you are the newcomer, and there is large amounts of DM's Girlfriend silliness going on, but it can't hurt to try.

2: Bow out. If you are not enjoying yourself, then you aren't enjoying yourself, and that's usually the only reason someone plays games. If it is too much bother, and not really fun, then don't be afraid to leave. As people say on here all the time, no gaming is better than bad gaming.

3: Form your own game. If you don't like how they do it, you could always ask the less annoying people if they wanted to try something different. This is the one I prefer to go with, but I am in a situation with lots of available players almost all the time. So this may not be available to you.

Good luck!

Kish
2016-11-10, 11:09 PM
with a terrible group. What do I do?
That's the easiest question anyone's ever asked on this forum. Drop out.

BWR
2016-11-11, 04:48 AM
To reiterate the best advice:

Step 1: Talk about it.
Take some time before the session to talk serious talk. Tell people you aren't having fun with how things are done and ask if people could please alter their behavior so everyone can have fun. Point out that the game is supposed to be cooperative and people acting like selfish douches all the time isn't universally fun.

Step 2: Alternative games
If 1 doesn't work, suggest something else. If these people are friends and you still want to hang out despite not enjoying the game, try to get them to do something else. Card games, video games, movies, team sports, whatever. Maybe even a different RPG if you feel there is a chance they will act differently (sometimes a change of game helps, sometimes it doesn't).

Step 3: Walk away
If 1 and 2 don't work, walk away. Tell everyone you aren't having fun and rather than suffer unfun or ruin everyone else's fun, you are just bowing out. Find another group if possible, find other ways to game (pbp games, like face to face games, run the gamut of terrible to awesome) or find a new hobby. Doing something you aren't having fun with in order to have fun is not only oxymoronic, it's very nearly plain moronic.

Good luck.

hymer
2016-11-11, 06:20 AM
"No gaming is better than bad gaming."

I always thought that any other sort of gaming would be better than bad gaming, unless you count really bad gaming. :smallwink:

Stealth Marmot
2016-11-11, 03:12 PM
Am I just being picky or am I just used to better games? I've never had a group so out of sync with each other and boring.

I don't know, I'm only hearing your side of the story and I wasn't there.

But I think you have a definite issue here. You like roleplaying, but your character is limited in that AND you would like to beat some heads, so I propose you bring up some ideas.

First, you could make a new character if you want. If your current character is combat focused and limited to the playstyle, then make a new one and bring them in. Just have Thokk the Barbarian say that he's annoyed with the boring talky talk and bring in a different character who has more social skills. You can engage the other players on their level that way.

Second: You could ask around and see if everyone is okay with pushing for more combat and classic dungeon crawl over bar-talk, and hpolitely ask the players ads individuals to tone down a few things. Be empathetic and tell them things like "When you do this, I feel this" so they understand why you would like them to stop. Don't try to pull "Because that's how it's done" because that is a BS argument and will be told so.

Third: You can propose a change in game system or a new game entirely. This is probably the most radical of the ideas, but it sounds like you are using D&D for a purpose it isn't best suited for. If you literally have to PAY the other characters IN CHARACTER to adventure, then they aren't really playing to D&D's strengths. Instead other games like Vampire, Mage, or even Call of Cthulu are better suited towards the introverted character interaction.

Fourth: MAKE YOUR OWN D&D GAME! WITH BLACKJACK! AND HOOKERS! IN FACT, FORGET THE D&D! In all seriousness, offer to host your own game alternating weeks. See if the players have more fun with your perceived style over the other DMs. I realize you are new to the game, but I'm betting so is the other DM.

dehro
2016-11-15, 02:07 AM
If you really want to play with these people or don't know anyone else to pay worth...
If you're the new guy, try talking to the people who do seem to want to do more but are hampered by the bar and the magician, to understand if they feel the same as you do. Once you know, you can go together to the DM and try to explain your shared frustrations to him. If they don't seem to want to speak up you can still try it yourself, arguing that you'd like to give a sense to the things he might have prepared rather than pottering about somewhere, wasting his prep time. Alternatively you could ask to rewrite your character and create one that has a chance to better engage with the other team members. This will most likely not work because he's keeping around his girlfriend who most likely doesn't even want to be there, so the group dynamic is skewered from the get go. As a last ditch attempt you can just go to the next session and, if they insist on that gaming style, calmly point out the issues you have with it, tell them it just isn't fun for you and pack up your stuff. It may get a discussion started,which you can hang around to listen to but shouldn't take part in ...if not, just leave and find a better group, however difficult that may be.

Xerlith
2016-11-15, 05:19 AM
For the smartasses out there, the Tao of these forums repeated: "[No gaming] is better than [bad gaming]".

Alent
2016-11-15, 05:29 AM
For the smartasses out there, the Tao of these forums repeated: "[No gaming] is better than [bad gaming]".

I'm fond of "Not gaming is better than bad gaming".

One extra letter, no unintended double meaning.

exelsisxax
2016-11-15, 02:00 PM
If someone argued with me about loot at any point during combat, and couldn't fit "we're busy doing things right now" into their skull as a perfect answer and let it go, i'd leave the game. That alone is an awful attitude and points to the group being terrible. Try to find a different group that enjoys playing the game.

tensai_oni
2016-11-15, 02:35 PM
There are situations when talking to bad players may allow them to learn the errors of their ways and get better.

But frankly this doesn't sound like one of them. The group is dominated by two spotlight-hogging prima donnas, and the game master lets one of them in particular get away with everything and decide on the whole game's direction because she's his girlfriend. The "never play with SOs" rule proves true once again.

Time to leave the group. Maybe take some other players with you, if they're less terrible than the examples given. But what you have there doesn't sound like fun, nor anything that can be salvaged into fun, I honestly wouldn't bother.

NomGarret
2016-11-17, 10:46 AM
The good news is that this is a scenario where you should be able to leave without hard feelings. The style of game they're into isn't what you're into. Simple as that.

FreddyNoNose
2016-11-18, 05:35 PM
Obviously this game is different from what you wanted to do. That being said, you come off as being passive in the situation. If you want to go out in the world and explore/adventure, tell the GM what you are doing and don't let the party hold you back. They will either follow or stay behind. In either case, you are trying to do what you want to do.

Green Elf
2016-11-18, 07:23 PM
If they may feel bad that you leave you could always use the potential of a barbarian and try to kill the party.(bard and wizard last because of the GM)When you die you can leave.:)

Aegis J Hyena
2016-11-19, 03:36 AM
I had this problem too. I ran a game that each battle took THREE or more hours to resolve. After 4 sessions, no one had made it out of the prologue. I called it quits, it wasn't fun. It was my own fault because the melees were massive (two tribal attacks, as the bad guy threw -everything- to stop the prophesied character thanks to some earlier beat-the-odds stuff happening)

John Longarrow
2016-11-20, 11:43 AM
I'd try talking to the DM between sessions. See if what's going on is abnormal or the groups normal style of play. Let the DM know what you are interested in. See if they are looking to run a game that you would like to play in. If not, let the DM know your looking for a different group that fits your style and bow out. It could be that the DM really wants a more energetic group but doesn't know how to get the game running.

D+1
2016-11-20, 12:25 PM
No D&D is better than bad D&D. First thing that is non-negotiable: COMMUNICATE. The DM and the other players almost certainly don't know how bored you are with the game if you haven't SAID so. People aren't mind readers. Even if it's obvious to YOU it may not be to them. TELL the DM you're bored and why. He'll either do better or he won't but then it won't be your fault for not having ever said anything. Don't make accusations or threats, just say, "I'm bored." Give a few examples. Tell him what would make the game better for you - like some actual knock-down drag-out combat. Just ASK.

No need to mention the issues with the DM's girlfriend at this point. It's an issue but one that's easier to deal with if the rest of the game is actually fun.

Secondly you probably have two choices - accept the game for what it is and work within those constraints. If a dumb barbarian doesn't fit with the relentlessly talky nature of the game, drop the barbarian and roll up a character that can interact better with the game and the other PC's.

Or you could quit. No shame in that. It's not YOUR fault. It might not even be theirs. Some people just want or expect different things from the game. If what you want doesn't fit well enough with what everyone else at the table wants (or is willing to provide) then don't keep going to the game and being BORED. THAT would be your fault. Assuming you've ASKED for a less boring game and have not been given it, then just politely tell the DM and the group that this game isn't your style and you're going to go find one that is. And then go find one that is.

MarkVIIIMarc
2016-11-26, 12:23 AM
There is a chance the player whose character asked for part of the loot in the midst of combat thinks of it as roll playing.

If it happens again give him an IN GAME kick in the shin and rejoin the combat.

Perhaps the in character bully will respond positively to that. Perhaps it will be a chance for a fight you'll enjoy.