Help fill a shop

[Calen]

This is somewhere between gamer humor and DM help.

I am DMing a short little campaign that we are playing rather tongue in cheek.

For example the two named NPC's the party has met are the innkeeper Klee Shay and the guard captain Generic.

What I am looking to do is fill a shop because the players are going to get to load up on supplies before going on their Quest. I don't have to many ideas in this regard but just wanted to be able to throw some funny ideas or joke items into the mix for fun. Some stuff I have thought of already.

10 foot poles, buy 3 get 1 free!

"Oh you're looking for X? Right past the bin of used MacGuffins."

a set of Dwarven Plate (when asked to look at it is a plate, saucer, mug etc.)

Thanks in advance for your help.

[Ninja_Prawn]

Have a rack of greatswords and greataxes, then "oh, but if those are out of your price range, we also have these good swords and there's a bin of okay-axes over there."

The scale armour is all 1:72 scale.

There's a random table in the middle of the shop that the wares are spread out on. If the players ask about it, they learn that it used to belong to a well-known harlot who used to work above the shop.

You should also mix in some of this (http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/AdamSmithHatesYourGuts) and maybe reference this (https://xkcd.com/1114/) if your players are into webcomics.

[DataNinja]

If you want to include some Magic Items, then there's a link in my sig to the "Mostly Useless Magic Item" thread compilation. If you can't find something humorous in there, there's another 30 pages of unsorted items. (Which I should really get around to cataloguing someday.)

[Calen]

If you want to include some Magic Items, then there's a link in my sig to the "Mostly Useless Magic Item" thread compilation. If you can't find something humorous in there, there's another 30 pages of unsorted items. (Which I should really get around to cataloguing someday.)

Didn't want magic items in the shop but I was planning on borrowing some of those for "rewards" :smallbiggrin:

[Herobizkit]

Maybe some cheap Participation awards/medals to make starting heroes feel special? :)

In fact, make a huge section of the shop filled with balloons, wrapping paper, ribbons, and the like.

It's a Party Supply Store, after all.

http://www.articlesweb.org/blog/wp-content/uploads/2012/09/party-supplies-11.png

[Lorsa]

You could have the "Shelf of Shop Props" or the "Table of goods everyone glosses over".

If you're looking for special offers, there's "Priceless Bullseye Lantern, only 2 gold pieces, oil not included", or "Used soap, as good as new".

Then I guess you have to name the clerk "Sho P'Keeper"?

[Ninja_Prawn]

Then I guess you have to name the clerk "Sho P'Keeper"?

There should be a few other people browsing the shop, too. Gus Toma is just looking for some everyday essentials, while Maj. Per Jeice has come to order supplies for a new regiment of guards.

[Stealth Marmot]

Advertise free chain mail and when the players ask about it have the shopkeeper each hand them a letter in an envelope saying "Send this to 10 friends or else you will be cursed".

Have the shopkeeper mention polearms and when the players look, it's a set of 10 foot poles that are animated objects that each have a bunch of tiny arms.

[Tiktik Ironclaw]

You can't go wrong with a whole cage of dead parrots!

[Ninja_Prawn]

"Send this to 10 friends or else you will be cursed".

Speaking of curses...

http://25.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_mbwciqNIDx1ridkofo5_250.gif

[JAL_1138]

Cut-Me-Own-Throat Dibbler and similar iterations of the same narrative ideal (Fair-Go Dibbler, Al-Jiblah, Cut-Me-Own-Hand-Off Dhblah, May-I-Never-Achieve-Enlightenment Dhiblang, Disembowel-Meself-Honourably Dibhala, Swallow-Me-Own-Blowdart Dhlang-Dhlang, etc., etc.) make for great shopkeepers. A cockney accent and a great sales pitch (even, and in fact especially, for terrible products) makes for a memorable character.

[Telonius]

Rust Monster Repellent. Apply to sword, place in sheathe, wait 2 days. Guaranteed to make your sword completely unappetizing to Rust Monsters. (Vials actually contain water).

[FreddyNoNose]

Don't forget to have some special items on a rack of their own with some "history" to them.
Oh, this is the bronze spear that Hercules used to slay a dozen stone giants. Is it overpriced and not special? You bet.


Don't forget the traveling salesman who profits from selling items of dubious worth and quickly heads to the next town. Potions of Doctor Healgood. Will they track him down after they discover they don't work? See another adventure!


How about the party asking people in the tavern about the nearby ruins so they can go in prepared. Someone tells them some "valuable" information about something the party will need "magic" to overcome. A passing stranger overhears this an just happens to have the solution to their problem. He has a magic item that will counter the effects when you say the right phrase but it only has three charges. The item creates a extremely bright magical flash when the magic phrase is said but doesn't counter the what is in the ruins. Mostly likely reason it doesn't counter it is that the two people are working together to scam the players out of their money and made up the story. Then again, they might find a use for the magic item.

[JAL_1138]

I mentioned this idea in another thread, but can't find it to repost at the moment:

Tiger repellent. (Or some other animal, so long as there are absolutely none of them whatsoever native to the area and the chance of encountering one is practically zero.) Set it up like the old joke. At some point, when questioned about it by the players, the shopkeeper should say "Do you see any tigers in my shop? No? Then it works."

Several days or weeks later when they come back to the shop, they find the shopkeeper backed into a corner, trying to use a chair to fend off a large tiger. The shopkeeper sees the party and yells "Help! I sold out of tiger repellent!" Roll initiative.