Clopin Silk
2016-11-30, 05:50 PM
This thread is exactly what it says; I want to know your weirdest, wildest and most absurd adventuring experiences, and I'll start with my own.
Alright, honesty time; I've only ever played a single session of D&D, and I can't quite remember whether it was 3.5 or PF, but it got freaky pretty fast. I was the elven Rogue Clopin Silk (backstory provided in a previous thread), rolling with the dwarven fighter Dit Pitfighter (strong as an ox, but only half as smart), the human sorceress Esmeralda (played by a girl so tired on that particular night that she was only awake for about half of it, and even then just barely), a human druid whose name I forget (who was only interested in the summoning of giant centipedes), and the human psion Soren (a DMPC who was mostly there to keep the plot moving, and who was thankfully at the same level of power as the rest of the party). We were... ridiculous.
The first big moment of stupidity happened on the road; Dit started dancing. While on horseback. And the druid joined in. They had to take balance checks, they both failed, they fell of their horses and took a couple points of non-lethal damage. And then they did it again.
Next was probably the cave incident. We'd stopped at a cave to rest for the night. I had first watch. With a wisdom of 10. Suffice to say, a pack of wolves got pretty damn close before I spotted them. I threw one of my starknives at them, and missed. I wished I'd been sensible enough to buy more than two, or grabbed a better primary melee weapon (first ever session, remember). The other members of the party were all easy enough to wake up, with the exception of Dit. This was a problem, because at that point, Dit was our heaviest hitter. Soren melted one wolf's brain, while the rest of us took another down together (Yeah, we didn't roll too hot, our druid had apparently prepared no spells except summoning spells that wouldn't work in such a small space and healing spells, and the sorceress only ever cast magic missile). And then, Dit finally woke up. He hit the last of the wolves with his warhammer, doing so much damage (stupidly high strength plus stupidly lucky rolls) that our DM ruled that the wolf had been rendered into wolf-flavoured slush.
We later fought either orc or goblins (they were green, but I forget everything beyond that). I threw a starknife, and missed completely (seriously, I had a dexterity score of 18, but I still missed whenever I threw anything). The druid failed to summon a centipede. Dit killed everything. Then came the hill. I say hill, but it was really more like a small cliff. I had not one but two ropes. The other party members decided to climb down without rope. Dit fell and took 2d6 of damage. Esmeralda fell. She only had 11 hp. I sort of half-caught her and she only had to roll 1d6 (she rolled a 2). I used the rope, because I wasn't an idiot.
And finally, the cavern full of skeletons. At this point, it becomes necessary to point out that, due to a lucky roll on my part sucking up to a merchant, combined with our DM being disgustingly generous with the results of that roll, we all had some magic equipment. The druid got boots that protected him from cold damage and meant that he no longer left footprints in the snow (useful given the climate we were questing in), Esmeralda got a ring that boosted her charisma by 1 (useful, given she'd been at an odd number), Soren got some rocks to plug into his head (I forget what those things are called), I got a Keen +1 throwing dagger that returned to my hand if I missed with a throw (I can't help but feel like I was being mocked with that last bit), and Dit? Dit got the Bonebane. Our combat powerhouse, who had never needed a second swing to kill anything, got a +1 warhammer that did bonus damage against undead. Like I said, disgustingly generous. So, despite my new toy, I still couldn't hit anything with a throw, so I just took a skeleton's head off in close combat (critical hits, I love you so). The druid finally summoned a centipede... but somehow botched the roll so that it was summoned all messes up and unable to move, so it just lay there while the skeletons clawed at it. And then came Dit's contribution. There was a kill or two on his part during this fight, but then came the big one. He hit a skeleton. On a natural 20. He got a critical hit, and he rolled maximum damage. With his monster strength. And a weapon that did bonus damage against undead. The skeleton was deemed to have been reduced to dust.
So, those are the highlight of the insanity that occurred during a single session. Think you can beat them?
Alright, honesty time; I've only ever played a single session of D&D, and I can't quite remember whether it was 3.5 or PF, but it got freaky pretty fast. I was the elven Rogue Clopin Silk (backstory provided in a previous thread), rolling with the dwarven fighter Dit Pitfighter (strong as an ox, but only half as smart), the human sorceress Esmeralda (played by a girl so tired on that particular night that she was only awake for about half of it, and even then just barely), a human druid whose name I forget (who was only interested in the summoning of giant centipedes), and the human psion Soren (a DMPC who was mostly there to keep the plot moving, and who was thankfully at the same level of power as the rest of the party). We were... ridiculous.
The first big moment of stupidity happened on the road; Dit started dancing. While on horseback. And the druid joined in. They had to take balance checks, they both failed, they fell of their horses and took a couple points of non-lethal damage. And then they did it again.
Next was probably the cave incident. We'd stopped at a cave to rest for the night. I had first watch. With a wisdom of 10. Suffice to say, a pack of wolves got pretty damn close before I spotted them. I threw one of my starknives at them, and missed. I wished I'd been sensible enough to buy more than two, or grabbed a better primary melee weapon (first ever session, remember). The other members of the party were all easy enough to wake up, with the exception of Dit. This was a problem, because at that point, Dit was our heaviest hitter. Soren melted one wolf's brain, while the rest of us took another down together (Yeah, we didn't roll too hot, our druid had apparently prepared no spells except summoning spells that wouldn't work in such a small space and healing spells, and the sorceress only ever cast magic missile). And then, Dit finally woke up. He hit the last of the wolves with his warhammer, doing so much damage (stupidly high strength plus stupidly lucky rolls) that our DM ruled that the wolf had been rendered into wolf-flavoured slush.
We later fought either orc or goblins (they were green, but I forget everything beyond that). I threw a starknife, and missed completely (seriously, I had a dexterity score of 18, but I still missed whenever I threw anything). The druid failed to summon a centipede. Dit killed everything. Then came the hill. I say hill, but it was really more like a small cliff. I had not one but two ropes. The other party members decided to climb down without rope. Dit fell and took 2d6 of damage. Esmeralda fell. She only had 11 hp. I sort of half-caught her and she only had to roll 1d6 (she rolled a 2). I used the rope, because I wasn't an idiot.
And finally, the cavern full of skeletons. At this point, it becomes necessary to point out that, due to a lucky roll on my part sucking up to a merchant, combined with our DM being disgustingly generous with the results of that roll, we all had some magic equipment. The druid got boots that protected him from cold damage and meant that he no longer left footprints in the snow (useful given the climate we were questing in), Esmeralda got a ring that boosted her charisma by 1 (useful, given she'd been at an odd number), Soren got some rocks to plug into his head (I forget what those things are called), I got a Keen +1 throwing dagger that returned to my hand if I missed with a throw (I can't help but feel like I was being mocked with that last bit), and Dit? Dit got the Bonebane. Our combat powerhouse, who had never needed a second swing to kill anything, got a +1 warhammer that did bonus damage against undead. Like I said, disgustingly generous. So, despite my new toy, I still couldn't hit anything with a throw, so I just took a skeleton's head off in close combat (critical hits, I love you so). The druid finally summoned a centipede... but somehow botched the roll so that it was summoned all messes up and unable to move, so it just lay there while the skeletons clawed at it. And then came Dit's contribution. There was a kill or two on his part during this fight, but then came the big one. He hit a skeleton. On a natural 20. He got a critical hit, and he rolled maximum damage. With his monster strength. And a weapon that did bonus damage against undead. The skeleton was deemed to have been reduced to dust.
So, those are the highlight of the insanity that occurred during a single session. Think you can beat them?