View Full Version : Showing and Not Telling on Spiked Armour

2016-12-07, 07:00 AM
I'm considering introducing a group in a campaign of mine who use spiked armour. Now, I want to make it plainly clear (ideally in funny ways) why spikes on armour is pretty much unheard of historically. So if you will, playgrounders, help me come up with funny/informative stuff. I'll go first.

When out of earshot, the group are often derisively called the Knights of Ughdammit. Nobody will explain why, but the PCs will find out on meeting them that this is said surprisingly often when the spikes get snagged on something or makes a tear in something they're passing by.

One of their number once fell over while drunk and his spikes caused him to stick to the floor planks. Unable to get up he fell asleep where he was, and the next morning had to laboriously remove his armour before being able to get up.

The local tailor speaks very highly of them. He gets an awful lot of business patching up their clothes and making new ones.

2016-12-07, 07:21 AM
One of the group once suffered a horrible injury when a blow that nearly missed him caught his shoulder spike and glanced off into his head.

Another had neck cramps for week after an ogre managed to grab hold of one of the horns on his helmet.

Stealth Marmot
2016-12-07, 09:02 AM
Local children have made a game of hanging brightly colored strings on the members' spikes without them noticing.

Every local tavern has the same scratch marks on the doorframes at around the same height. In fact, one of their hideouts was was discovered by a band of adventurers by noticing those same scratches on a totally inconspicuous blank wall.

2016-12-07, 09:41 AM
It's virtually impossible for them to fight shoulder to shoulder without stabbing themselves.

They always carry their weapons drawn because no one has figured out how to sheathe a sword successfully.

2016-12-07, 10:39 AM
They get stuck in their bedrolls when attempting to sleep in their armour.

Good luck if they have to carry anyone, like an unconscious ally.

A friendly hedgehog humps their leg

John Longarrow
2016-12-07, 03:40 PM
Their downtime consists of two hours each day slowly removing their armor, cleaning it, and making sure the spikes are sharp. Each has to have a custom armor stand that takes into account THEIR spike placement.

Plus they can't seem to keep horses around for some strange reason. Lots of wild horses have assorted scars from where they got bumped into by spike wearing soldiers.

2016-12-07, 04:13 PM
A bard or minstrel knight that is in love with a member of them practices a terrible poem for "his beloved thorny rose, whose tender embrace cuts deeper than a fiery blade, oh, gentle cruelty of Lady Thistle..." or something.

2016-12-09, 07:48 AM
Two words: allergy season.