Grandfather, why? - The Mythology Building Game

[Eldan]

I like the idea of building mythologies. Not really worlds, but stories, gods, creation myths, explanations for phenomena. We did something like this once already, where people got together to write stories from the mythology of the world, and it turned out quite interesting. By having many people work on a mythology piece by piece, we get an intersting feeling, where different people bring in different ideas.

I thought we could try again, with a bit more structure, and I thought of what is basically a simple game.

One person asks a question, phrased as coming from a child to their wise elder. "Grandfather, why are there clouds in the sky?" "Granny, why do birds go away in the winter?" "Uncle, where did the moon come from?" "Wise priestess, why do we burn the dead?"

The next person spins a short story explaining this thing, perhaps involving a mythological creature, or a god, or a culture hero. Then asks the next question. And so on.

And: feel free to sligthly contradict someone else, but don't write a complete opposite. There can absolutely be two moon gods. One hero can show up three times with their name spelt differently every time. There can be three incidents of the creation of the first people. Throw in as many names as you like, too. You don't even have to explain everything you bring up. Clearly, the child already knows who Herena is before this story, and why bears fear her name.

So, let's start this off.

"Grandfather, what is thunder?"

[GorinichSerpant]

"Grandfather, what is thunder?"

Thunder's the blunder of the Elkhead Glunder. He made the mistake to steal from the drake of the sky's wake. And now he getting clobbered during storms with a mallet.

Grandfather, where do the fish come from?

Nevermind, someone else came up with another idea.

[falcon1]

Grandfather, why does the moon change shape?

[Thinker]

Grandfather, why does the moon change shape?

The moon is but a pie made by Tragdar the Baker. Every month, he bakes a new one and every month his husband Kentar eats it, one bit a day until there's nothing left and Tragdar has to begin anew. In honor of Tragdar's efforts, we bake moon pies every new moon.

Grandfather, what lies beyond the Great Waste?

[Mith]

Grandfather, what lies beyond the Great Waste?

The Great Wastes were formed when the Titan army fled from the wrath of the victorious gods, who's might scorched the earth before them. After a month of pursuit, the gods caught up with their fleeing foes and slew them.

It is said that if you travel for a month across the Wastes, you will behold a vast mountain range that grew up from the remains of the Titans. No one has yet discovered what lies beyond those mountains, as the journey to them is harsh, and they are unwelcoming to followers of the gods. It is said that demons and followers of the Titans dwell among the remains of their masters, seeking to rise again.

Grandfather, where does the sun go at night?

[Potato_Priest]

GrandFather, where does the sun go at night?

Well, as the sun sets it descends into the Western ocean, which puts it out, and then Luss throws it up into the sky, back towards the east. As it flies, it dries out, and in the morning it lands in Mount Moltenstone, waking Bran up for the day. He then causes a minor eruption, which sends the sun back towards the ocean during the day, on fire once again.

Grandfather, why do the leaves change colors in fall?

[chif-ii]

>Grandfather, why do the leaves change colors in fall?

Because as the frost descends down the mountains, it drives the world dragon Vyranna from his lofty lair into the soil and caves beneath our forest. He suckles at the roots of the forest trees, draining them of their vitality throughout the months of fall before departing for lands south of our own. And as he travels the great furnace within his belly cools, and he drags the sun behind him so that the earth is covered in frost. But each year in the days of deepest winter, the god-hero Kentar the Pie-stealer journeys down into the belly of the earth to fight Vyranna. Each year the fight is long-fought, but Kentar is victorious, and he forces the dragon to return the stolen colors of the trees, bring back the sun, and take his place once more in his mountaintop lair to provide heat to all the world.

Grandfather, what causes the lightning?

[inuyasha]

So, this turned out to be much longer than I originally expected it to be when I started writing, which is why I spoiler'd it. I have no idea if it's good or not... or if it even makes sense. sorry if there was an intended length limit to this thread :smallredface:

Well, son, legends tell of heroes from millennia ago who accomplished great things, but they were once like you and I. This story in particular tells of a gnome who was skilled in the arts of technology, not the flashy magic that we take for granted, oh no, his was forged by hand with blood, sweat, and tears.

His workshop boomed and crackled night and day, fires were lit as fast as they were quenched, but he knew what he was doing. His little gnomish hands gripped tightly to hammers, tongs, and other instruments as he did his work, but of course no one else knew what he was doing... so all the villagers in the land grew to fear him.

They feared the booms, the bangs, the flashes of light that flew from his workshop and streaked past their crude tents and huts, and fearing what they didn't understand, they banded together to set his home alight, using what they saw as their most advanced tool.

The bangs, the booms, the crackles that erupted from his home were not the last, but legend has it that they were truly magnificent. The entire village died that fateful night, but the story does not end there... oh no child, for the gods were watching too.

The goddess of nature spoke amongst the pantheon, her voice ethereal and light, "He has taken what I have made and blasphemed!"

Another, who was the god of trickery, replied in his defense, "I believe he should continue his work! For it is something new, and curiosity can only improve what we have created."

The final god, one of war, roared violently in agreement, for his passion knew no words, only fiery extremes.

It was decided, then and there, that the visionary gnome should live in the sky, far away from the frightened beasts of the earth. His workshop was reconstructed in the heavens, and he himself was given new form, one that constantly crackled with life and ingenuity, his entire being became the energy which he so sought to control. He thought of ideas beyond his wildest dreams, but the intervention of the pantheon gave him a slight problem...

The goddess of nature believed his tinkering should not go unrestricted, Trickery begrudgingly agreed and put his wit to good use, granting the gnome his form and telling him of what had happened, but not of his upcoming setback. War, however, also saw fit to add in a contribution. From that day on, the gnome could only work on days he was truly upset, on the rainy days that reminded him of his death.


Grandfather, why do we bleed when we get hurt?

[White Blade]

So, this turned out to be much longer than I originally expected it to be when I started writing, which is why I spoiler'd it. I have no idea if it's good or not... or if it even makes sense. sorry if there was an intended length limit to this thread :smallredface:

Well, son, legends tell of heroes from millennia ago who accomplished great things, but they were once like you and I. This story in particular tells of a gnome who was skilled in the arts of technology, not the flashy magic that we take for granted, oh no, his was forged by hand with blood, sweat, and tears.

His workshop boomed and crackled night and day, fires were lit as fast as they were quenched, but he knew what he was doing. His little gnomish hands gripped tightly to hammers, tongs, and other instruments as he did his work, but of course no one else knew what he was doing... so all the villagers in the land grew to fear him.

They feared the booms, the bangs, the flashes of light that flew from his workshop and streaked past their crude tents and huts, and fearing what they didn't understand, they banded together to set his home alight, using what they saw as their most advanced tool.

The bangs, the booms, the crackles that erupted from his home were not the last, but legend has it that they were truly magnificent. The entire village died that fateful night, but the story does not end there... oh no child, for the gods were watching too.

The goddess of nature spoke amongst the pantheon, her voice ethereal and light, "He has taken what I have made and blasphemed!"

Another, who was the god of trickery, replied in his defense, "I believe he should continue his work! For it is something new, and curiosity can only improve what we have created."

The final god, one of war, roared violently in agreement, for his passion knew no words, only fiery extremes.

It was decided, then and there, that the visionary gnome should live in the sky, far away from the frightened beasts of the earth. His workshop was reconstructed in the heavens, and he himself was given new form, one that constantly crackled with life and ingenuity, his entire being became the energy which he so sought to control. He thought of ideas beyond his wildest dreams, but the intervention of the pantheon gave him a slight problem...

The goddess of nature believed his tinkering should not go unrestricted, Trickery begrudgingly agreed and put his wit to good use, granting the gnome his form and telling him of what had happened, but not of his upcoming setback. War, however, also saw fit to add in a contribution. From that day on, the gnome could only work on days he was truly upset, on the rainy days that reminded him of his death.


Grandfather, why do we bleed when we get hurt?

The short answer, little one, is that the Gods are harsh masters. The longer answer is that the gods apportioned to men their fixed share of fate at the beginning of the world, so that each man lived eighty years or ninety years, that dogs lived eighteen, that cats lived thirty and so on and so forth. In time, however, the Gods began to grow tired of having to wait for men to die. So they devised a scheme: Rather than apportioning a fixed fate to each person, they would apportion to them an allotment of life. This life, in humans and most animals, takes the form of blood. Thus, when we bleed, a portion of our destiny spills onto the floor and the gods are enabled to take or give life as they please.

Grandfather, why do we wear black at funerals?

[RazDelacroix]

"Child of my child, when I am gone from this world and my body is naught but dust and ash of the ground, the spirits of our enemies slain will come to commit evil upon our friends and kin. The cowards will strike at those whom the departed have loved, but as spirits they possess a weakness. For being craven cowards in life, the gods have seen fit to punish them with the inability to see those whom don cloth as black as unlit night. This is all the protection we among the living gain, however. For evil spirits are cruel, and they have much power. All we can do is suffer in grace."


Grandmother, why are plants so green?

[GorinichSerpant]

Grandmother, why are plants so green?

When the Goddess of the Forests was born the Trickster God accidentally spilled a chalice with molten emeralds on her. It may sound peculiar, but see the Gods drink gems because mortal brews are not strong enough for their divine stomachs. As I was saying, he spilled the scolding green nectar on her, forever staining her with a green hue. As the plants were made in her image, thus they are green.

Grandmother, why don't horses have fingers or toes?

[Eldan]

Why don't Horses have Fingers or Toes?

When the Star Horse, the ancestor of all horses, was young, it was very curious and one day, she snuck into the workshop of the Cloud Gnome, to see what he was building. That day, he was making the wind shears. They were magical blades that he made as a weapon for Tragdar, so he could free his husband Kentar from the north wind's cold prison.
They were made of obsidian and very shiny, so the Star Horse tried playing with them. But then she slipped, and cut off all her fingers and toes, and the silver blood that spurted out formed the great star way in night sky. The Cloud Gnome tried to help her, but try as he might, he could not put her fingers back on, so instead, he put great caps of bone on the stumps so she wouldn't bleed out.

So, remember when we told you not to play with scissors? We meant it.

Uncle, why does the river water rise after the harvest and flood the land?

[DuctTapeKatar]

Why don't Horses have Fingers or Toes?

Uncle, why does the river water rise after the harvest and flood the land?

"Well, y'see, the water spirits in the river get hungry too. So whenever they see us done harvesting, the spirits want to join in for the feast we have later. That's why we give some of our harvest to the river, so that they don't have to come visit us so often. Of course, sometimes the river gets lonely, and comes to visit anyway."

Why do animals that eat their own species go Dire?

[JNAProductions]

"Well, y'see, the water spirits in the river get hungry too. So whenever they see us done harvesting, the spirits want to join in for the feast we have later. That's why we give some of our harvest to the river, so that they don't have to come visit us so often. Of course, sometimes the river gets lonely, and comes to visit anyway."

Why do animals that eat their own species go Dire?

"Oi... That's a toughie. See, eating gives you a measure of the power of another being-but the more different the being, the less power you get. So a man eating a dragon wouldn't gain that much-too different. But a man eating a man... He'd gain dang near ALL that man's power! Same thing with a wolf chomping down on a wolf."

Big brother, why do dragons kidnap princesses?

[RazDelacroix]

Big brother, why do dragons kidnap princesses?


"Ah, that's one of the primal questions. Like why wizards sit in towers. Well way way waaaaaay back, or so they told me in bard college, the only dragon child of Bahamut AND Tiamat, was in the process of collecting treasures for his hoard. From sparkling gems made from the stars above, to plates of gold to serve as his bedding, and even a great dragon castle out of the tallest mountain to store it all in! However, once he acquired all his castle could hold of the greatest wealth of the mortal world, he found himself unfulfilled. For there was one piece missing.

However, when a shepherd in a nearby valley prayed for guidance for his people, a heavenly princess angel descended to answer the shepherd's prayers. This caught the dragon's attention, and he flew straight to that angel and crowed ballads to her beauty. The shepherd, forgetting the plight of his people for a time, immediately cursed the dragon. For this was a time when man did not know of what dragons were all about, and so the shepherd took up courage and challenged the dragon to fly off and leave the angel in peace.

The angel, in her divine wisdom, promised to fairly judge between man and dragon for whom she would court in the mortal realm. However, as the shepherd's prayers were made first, she would see to man's business first. The dragon sulked but gave accord saying he would take her up later to his home and there woo her proper.

Then the shepherd's king saw the angel, executed the shepherd, held the angel captive in a gilded cage, and proclaimed the angel his bride-to-be by divine right. For this crime against heavens and fair play, every dragon has an inkling need to capture a princess. Ask me not how that first dragon's story ends, for that is how volcanoes do."


Grandpa, why does the yeth hound fear the sun?

[falcon1]

Dragon's are royal creatures, and therefore desire royal blood. They also enjoy a good fight, and they know are kidnapped royal will get them one. Therefore they attack princes and princesses alike whenever they get the chance.

What lies below the catacombs, Grandfather?

[White Blade]

"Ah, that's one of the primal questions. Like why wizards sit in towers. Well way way waaaaaay back, or so they told me in bard college, the only dragon child of Bahamut AND Tiamat, was in the process of collecting treasures for his hoard. From sparkling gems made from the stars above, to plates of gold to serve as his bedding, and even a great dragon castle out of the tallest mountain to store it all in! However, once he acquired all his castle could hold of the greatest wealth of the mortal world, he found himself unfulfilled. For there was one piece missing.

However, when a shepherd in a nearby valley prayed for guidance for his people, a heavenly princess angel descended to answer the shepherd's prayers. This caught the dragon's attention, and he flew straight to that angel and crowed ballads to her beauty. The shepherd, forgetting the plight of his people for a time, immediately cursed the dragon. For this was a time when man did not know of what dragons were all about, and so the shepherd took up courage and challenged the dragon to fly off and leave the angel in peace.

The angel, in her divine wisdom, promised to fairly judge between man and dragon for whom she would court in the mortal realm. However, as the shepherd's prayers were made first, she would see to man's business first. The dragon sulked but gave accord saying he would take her up later to his home and there woo her proper.

Then the shepherd's king saw the angel, executed the shepherd, held the angel captive in a gilded cage, and proclaimed the angel his bride-to-be by divine right. For this crime against heavens and fair play, every dragon has an inkling need to capture a princess. Ask me not how that first dragon's story ends, for that is how volcanoes do."


Grandpa, why does the yeth hound fear the sun?

The hounds of yeth were once the pets of the sun's master, but they mauled his daughter and were driven out from the house. Now they hide beneath the lowest plains.

Dragon's are royal creatures, and therefore desire royal blood. They also enjoy a good fight, and they know are kidnapped royal will get them one. Therefore they attack princes and princesses alike whenever they get the chance.

What lies below the catacombs, Grandfather?

Below the catacombs lies the worthless images of the gods. Whenever a god perishes from heaven or is no longer worshipped within the city, their images are hidden beneath the catacombs so they cannot curse us or steal our life's breath. You must never go there, or you could be haunted by a god.

Grandfather, when was the last God born?

[JNAProductions]

Grandfather, when was the last God born?

"How old are you? Because, you see, a god just a being who breaks the rules. A thousand years ago, it was said that no man could wield magic-now, we have magically lit lanterns on every street! A hundred years ago, it was said man could never fly-now we've got the Skyroads! Just last year, people said no one could come back from the dead, and wouldn't you know, Saint Guinevere proved them wrong! So we've all got a little god in ourselves-and don't let those bastards high in the sky tell you otherwise!"

Mom, why do apples rot?

[ShiningStarling]

Mom, why do apples rot?

Well sweetie, everything has a spirit of some sort, and apples are no different. The spirits in them normally love to give us their bounty, but they grow tired of waiting, and eventually turn bad. That's why we never take apples from that old hedge witch down the road, people say that her apples rot on the inside while the outside seems pleasing, they say she makes the apple spirits evil.

Grandmama, why doesn't rain pile up like snow?

[JNAProductions]

Well sweetie, everything has a spirit of some sort, and apples are no different. The spirits in them normally love to give us their bounty, but they grow tired of waiting, and eventually turn bad. That's why we never take apples from that old hedge witch down the road, people say that her apples rot on the inside while the outside seems pleasing, they say she makes the apple spirits evil.

Grandmama, why doesn't rain pile up like snow?

"I don't know! Now shut up and peel potatoes!" :P

*Later, after potatoes are peeled...*

"Now, I thought about what you asked earlier, and I came up with the only logical answer. Snow, being white, is attracted to the sun-which is also white. So, it tries to go up, but the force that pushes on us from above keeps it down. But it can't force it underground-it can only go so far. Rain, though, isn't white, so it doesn't care about the sun-so the same thing that pushes us down, pushes rain down to the underground. Makes sense, right?"

Big Jim, why do some people grow up to be big and strong, like you, and other people don't?

[Eldan]

Big Jim, why do some people grow up to be big and strong, like you, and other people don't?

All things are made of sky and earth, and the things they make when they meet and interact. So it is with human spirits. Some people have much earth in their bodies, and their bodies are like the earth: wide, and heavy, and with strong bones. Others have spirits like the air, tall and light. The air raises to their heads, and then tries to pull the heads upwards, like balloons, so their bodies are stretched out to hold the bodies down to the ground.

Grandmother, why do dogs guard our houses?

[Eldan]

Alright, then...

Grandmother, why do dogs guard our houses?

Don't be stupid, child, that's just how things are!

Grandfather, why is the sky blue at noon, but red at dusk?

[ShiningStarling]

Grandfather, why is the sky blue at noon, but red at dusk?
Because it's blushing at the moon's arrival!

Auntie, why do people hate dragons so much?

[Lord of Monies]

Auntie, why do people hate dragons so much?

Ugh, you've been getting too close to the common people. You listen to your mother and I, the world beyond is far too dangerous for us. The dragons, in their good grace, saved us from the slayers and brought us to their home for our own protection. It's only right that we do our part to feed and entertain them in exchange for safety and all the luxuries we share. Everyone is happy if we co-operate and stay here, so I don't want you listening to the lies those people are saying about slavery and being prisoners.


Grandad, who put the royal family in charge?

[JNAProductions]

Grandad, who put the royal family in charge?

They did, squirt. But they did it for good reason-at least, to start. Ya see, long long ago, this was a dangerous place, and their family (though it weren't a family at the time) was a group of mighty adventurers! They came in and slew dragons, fought trolls, and generally were completely badasses! Eventually, they settled down, married each other, and started up civilization here. Course, the family's gone downhill since then. Now, they're fat and lazy, barely know how to use a sword.

Traveling Bard, why do adventurers get so powerful so quickly?

[Eldan]

Traveling Bard, why do adventurers get so powerful so quickly?

All adventurers are marked by Death. He spares them, for a time, and in exchange, they slay monsters and undead and long-lived things. And with every creature they slay, he lends them more power.

Grandfather, what happens to the travellers who vanish in the forest?

[RazDelacroix]

"Ah children, gather round, and I'll tell ye the truth of things. For many of us are content with our lives, whether baker or king, barkeep or courtesan, we find fulfillment in the lot the gods grant us. All of us, except for those whom were not given an entire soul before they were born.

You see, when you have most of a soul, you feel empty on the inside. You cannot explain it, but you try anyways. You want knowledge of what is beyond your parents' fields. You want to see the world beyond the king's mountains. You want to understand why the gods do what they do. It seems kind enough, until you make your first kill.

Poor goblins are almost always the first to suffer. Sure, goblins eat our food and kin, but even they have souls. At least, until the adventurers come and slay them. For you see, the horrible truth is that adventurers devour souls with each kill they make. Every soul gives feeds the nigh-bottomless well in their being, with power and understanding of the experiences they acquire.

For a time, an adventurer may be able to hide what they are by working under the very forces of our kingdom. As guards, knights, court magi, novice priests, or even humble militia. It serves to keep the truth of their nature hidden until they can wrest our womenfolk from honest husbands. Husbands, whom they behead and drink deep of their rich souls before sating their unholy lusts on innocent maidens and wives.

So if you ever find a friend of yours, who perks up one day and says something akin to, "Hey, let's go on an adventure!". . . Kill them. The priests and judges will understand why you had to do it. For the sake of all of our souls, you must kill every adventurer whom shows themselves to you. Thus, I dub thee, our Blackguard."



Grandfather, why do stars fall?

[GorinichSerpant]

Grandfather, why do stars fall?

Because they have loosed their hold on the sky and slipped.

Grandpa, why does Death need adventurers to defeat monsters? She's literally the goddess of murder.

[ShiningStarling]

Grandma, why does Death need adventurers to defeat monsters? She's literally the goddess of murder.

Well you see, Gods don't live here with us down on the ground, so when they reach to us, the other gods know about it.

Now Death is an interesting one, cause she loves nothing better than a good contract. Long, long ago, Death made a deal with Life, that neither would undo the work of the other, but that they would encourage us mortals to do their work for them instead.

Elder, why can't we all do magic?

[Mith]

Elder, why can't we all do magic?

Magic is more than just studying ancient texts and chants, boy. You have to have the right sort of stuff in you. Sorcerers get their name from being the source of the mortal bloodlines that allow us to do magic. Wizards can usually trace their lineage back to an ancient sorcerer, who may trace their ancestry back to an Immortal.

The best that a regular mortal can do is strike a deal with a Power for magic. Do it with the right sort of power, and you are a Cleric. Do it with the wrong sort, and you become a Warlock.

And it isn't always easy to see the difference between the two...


Grandfather, where did the Dragons come from?

[JNAProductions]

Grandfather, where did the Dragons come from?

The ground. They grow in the ground like seeds, absorbing rocks and gems and metals, and eventually pop up from the ground, spreading their wings and flying up to be the MOTHER-

Father, language!

Right, right. To be the bastards they are.

Father!



Dad, why does O look 0?

[Mith]

Dad, why does O look 0?

Pure coincidence. The letter "O" was designated as such by ancient scribes to symbolize the shape of one's mouth when they say the sound.

The number "0" was designated by the great sage Stanzai as a means of symbolizing an empty set the number system he was developing at the time.

Legends say that he had scratched out various runes on tiles to get a feeling for which characters felt right for which number. He had 13 tiles in a bowl, ranging from zero to 12 of our current counting system. A clumsy student of his came by and knocked bowl off the writing desk, breaking the bowl and it appeared, the tiles. Stanzai cried "You foll, there is nothing left!"

Father, why are there rainbows?

[Eldan]

Lysserda, the dawn maiden, loves to paint, that is why each dawn is different. But she needs to clean her brushes. Since her father is Sky, she is of course not well liked by the River, due to their ancient rivalry, so she can't use that water. But the Cloud Gnome is a good friend and built her a machine that makes water appear in the sky and fall down, so she can clean her brushes. That is why rainbows only come out when it rains, and why they have all colours.

Grandmother, why are there pictures in the stars?

[ShiningStarling]

Grandmother, why are there pictures in the stars?

Well, you see... some things were so meaningful in times gone by, that the Gods immortalize them in the stars, as no ordinary canvas would do for the likes of artists like Lysserda, the dawn maiden.

Poppy, why can't animals talk like us?

[Lleban]

Ohh dear child they could once. When humans were first arrived on Ferrica, the land was brutal and dry. Filbert the Green Stache, as the people would soon call him, saw these humans and felt mix of emotions. Pity as he saw them drop like flies struggling to survive, but also envy as they lived and sang together. Nervous about his form he introduced himself to humans in the guise of a chubby green giant. To be loved by the humans he showered them with blessings, bountiful crops, smooth navigable rivers, and respite from plague so long as his sacred. But, Filbert was still lonely, as a giant he could not freely interact, so devised a clever scheme, he'd simply shatter his mind and spread the shards of his consciousness among the forest creatures. For a time this plan worked, but the humans soon became weary of the talking animals. What was once seen as a miracle soon became an omen of ill fortune, crops died, pox spread, and meat eating became really awkward. Rejected by humanity and twisted by rejection, the animals fled deep within the woods. They became the first monsters.

Grandfather, why do wolves roam in packs?


EDIT:....What...what is Filbert?

[Draconium]

Grandfather, why do wolves roam in packs?

They say that Father Wolf loved his children very dearly, and always kept them close by his side. But one day, the youngest pup, Olais, wandered off on his own, as he was sick of being so close to his siblings. That is when their blood enemy, the Moon's Shadow, attacked him. Father Wolf came just in time to save his youngest, but his fight with the Shadow cost him his life. Today, all wolves stay in their packs in remembrance of his sacrifice.

Grandmother, why do the crows steal their food from others?

[Cicciograna]

Grandfather, why do wolves roam in packs?

Ah, young one, that's a fascinating story! *takes a puff from pipe* So, many many years ago, the proud God Drogammar decided that he wanted to expand his dominion from barren wastes to a more verdant and bountiful land: he saw the ancient woods, which in that age span the entirety of the continent, and liked them. He went to his little brother, the quiet God Lear and asked him:

"O brother, your realm is large and bountiful! Give me a piece of it, so that I can shape to my tastes!"

Shy Lear loved his brother, but was afraid of his might and anger; but stronger than his respect and fear for his brother was the love he had for his woods and the creatures that inhabited them. So he stood up and said:

"No, brother, I am sorry. I won't give you any of my quiet and beautiful woods, lest you turn them to a battlefield like your barren wastelands!"

"So it is! - replied the angered Drogammar - Then your woods shall know my scourge, and I will take by force what you didn't want to give me!" and retired to his domains, leaving Lear crying in anguish.

Soon the plan of Drogammar was clear: he unleashed a terrible beast in the peaceful woods of his brother. Legends around this monster - whose name is lost to history - are many and diverse, but all of them tell of a fearsome beast, all teeth and horns, a hulking behemot who feared nothing and ate everything it could lay its fangs upon. Lear tried to rally the inhabitants of the woods, to fight the abomination: none of them could oppose the fierce and fearsome beast.

Crying, Lear turned to their youngest sister Amana, Goddess of the Hunt:

"Amana, brave and fearless, help me! The horrible beast Drogammar sent against me is laying waste to my precious realm! Help me fight him, before my woods are turned to ash and rubble!"

"Send against it your bears, your eagles, your badgers, brother Lear - replied Amana - they will surely fight with valor and save your woods"

"It's useless: they already fought the horror, and lost! Nothing can stop it now!"

"I have an idea - smiled feraless Amana - The beast is strong...but it's just one. We will pit it against many opponents, and make them fierce and relentless in their assault!"

So the two siblings began working to create this new creature. They gave it fangs, so that it could rip the monster's flesh. They gave it superb senses, so it could prevent ambushes from the monster. They gave it speed, so that it could run in circles around the monster. And they made MANY of them, so that, even if small compared to the beast, they could attack it from many parts.

Thus the wolves were born. They were fiercely loyal one to the others, for they were all siblings, created by siblings.
As soon as the first pack was made, the wolves set immediately on the tracks of the fearsome beast, and thanks to their incredible senses they found it quickly. The beast was strong, but its skin could nothing against the wolves' fangs. The beast was quick, but the wolves were quicker. And, most importantly, the beast was but one: it killed the first wolf, but the others attacked; it killed the second wolf, but the others attacked; it killed the third wolf; but the others attacked. For each killed wolf, many more would bite it from every other direction...until the beast was dead, its tainted blood flowing from its many wounds. And the wolves howled, and their howl scared Drogamman who retired deep in his domains.

The woods had new protectors: the first, huge pack lived on, fragmented in various smaller packs and scattered around. But the ancient spirit of loyalty never abandoned those proud animals, who kept hunting together, many creatures moving as one, thinking as one, fighting as one.

All right, if nobody has anything against it...


Grandmother, why do the crows steal their food from others?

Good question, dearie! Sit on my lap, that's a curious story.
Many centuries ago, when Mankind had just begun to master Sword and Sorcery, the Gods were still watching upon us, smiling at each of our discoveries and feeling proud of our victories.
But the Gods are mysterious and often capricious.
One of them, Hyyallar the Trickster, didn't have much love for us. He wasn't explicitly against us, not to anger Father Koras the Strong and Mother Liana the Wise, but we weren't on his best side. So he played tricks on us, as it befits his nature: he would scare fishes so fishermen would come home empty-handed; he would curse the fields, so the crops were not as bountiful as expected; he would send bad weather, so that our activities would be delayed. The thing he was most fond of was stealing our food and eat it, reveling while listening to our cries of hunger.

We were powerless to fight him, for he was a God, and we were still young. So we erected temples to Liana, prayed the Wise Mother and asked her for protection and help, lest we die of starvation. When our pleas reached Liana's ears, she grew very angry against Hyyallar: she confronted the unruly godling and, at the height of her fury, slapped hard his face, breaking his jaw. Blood rained down on Earth from Hyyallar wound: his jaw broken, he was unable to eat anymore! No longer would he revel with our food!

But Hyyallar was crafty and devious. The blood which fell on Earth coagulated into black, winged forms: thus were the crows created, flying emissaries of the starving god. Not able anymore to savor food, he relied on them to sate his hunger: they steal our food to nourish the body they were part of, and have done it for millenia, now. As we became more powerful and our crops more plentiful, the losses to the crows became less and less troublesome; yet they still steal, because that is the only way Hyyallar has to sate his hunger.

Grandfather, where do Trolls come from?

[DuctTapeKatar]

Grandfather, where do Trolls come from?

"They are kinda like mushrooms- they like wet places, like under bridges and in sewers. All trolls feed off of moisture, so they try to find it in any way they can- and it just so happens that your insides are the perfect moisture for their eggs. Trolls are all female, they hunt for moisture, sucking away at the blood and water in our veins. And when its time for them to lay their eggs... Well, the best place to put their soft, slimy eggs is inside of something that was once living, don't really care what it is."

"..."

"Well, I answered your question, didn't I?"

Mommy, why do we stay away from the ruins, and why are they made from iron?

[LordotTrinkets]

Mommy, why do we stay away from the ruins, and why are they made from iron?

"First off, dear, that isn't ordinary iron. Fire does not melt it, and simply touching it will turn your blood into acid.

"As to why we stay away is because it is forbidden to step foot there. You see, those ruins were once a great and powerful city, whose name has been stricken from all records. Back then, Luss was not strong enough to throw the sun all the way back to Mount Moltenstone, so men were given the job of catching it when it landed and sending it the rest of the way. That is why the city is made from so strong a material, so that it could withstand the fall and possible heat of the sun.

"Over time, the people of the city grew proud, and thought themselves mighty enough to keep the sun for themselves. After a week of slumbering, Bran noticed that the sun had not yet arrived, and went to see what was wrong. The citizens of the city attacked Bran the moment he arrived, but were all destroyed by the fire from his bellows. Before reclaiming the sun, he cursed that city, saying that light would not be seen inside its walls, and the light that dwells there would be the demise of any who enter it.

"To this day, anyone who goes into the ruin either doesn't come out, or returns with an incurable disease that kills the fellow within days. Of course, only adventurers go there, so it isn't a real loss."

"Papa, why do animals act strange when the weather changes?"

[Bohandas]

Does that last prompt mean like before a storm, or at the changing of the seasons?

[Temotei]

"Papa, why do animals act strange when the weather changes?"

The weather lives, little one, and when it passes us by, we all feel its changes. Take Erebus, here. When the Fog descends, he hides with us inside, away from the windows, away from the doors. Doesn't even want to look, right? Well, that's 'cause Erebus is a coward. And rightfully so! The weather acts, and all animals, us included, should react accordingly, because it owns these lands. Sure, we have our huts, and our houses, and our pens, but the moment the capricious--that is, eager to change--weather decides to take it all away, we can only hope it gets bored or changes its mind before our foundations crumble.

Sister, why do we pray to the dead gods too?

[Recalcitrent]

>Sister, why do we pray to the dead gods too?

Hmm, well, little brother, Elder Markus told me once the reason is that those Gods aren't truly dead! See, the Gods aren't like us. When we reach our eldest days, or when the Gods have taken our life's blood from us, we die and go to live with Grandfather Sky and Grandmother Sea. But it doesn't work that way for the Gods.

See, when the Gods were born, Grandmother Sea made their bodies out of sea foam and the waves, and Grandfather Sky breathed their souls into the bodies with great gales. Grandmother Sea and Grandfather Sky then blessed each of their children with domains over the Earth. But, soon after, the Titans, Grandfather Sky's first children, grew jealous of the Gods' favored positions, as they were forced to the edges of the world to hold up Grandfather Sky's throne. In their jealousy, they sought to tear down Grandfather Sky for their own gain. However, the Gods rose up to defend their father, and, though the Titans were defeated, many of the Gods themselves fell to the Titan's power over the many eons that the war raged. But, as the Titans were made of Grandfather Sky's own body, their power came from him as well, and they could no more harm the great gales within the Gods than they could tear out their own hearts. However, they could harm the bodies Grandmother Sea had fashioned for her children, and their souls became trapped in their now dead bodies. So, little brother, we pray to the dead gods to keep them company, to keep them sane, for they can still hear us even in the prisons that used to be their bodies. And all you have to do to see what happens if a dead god is ignored or forgotten for too long, is look to the north, dear brother, to the Great Crater. So, be diligent in your prayers, little one, for everyone's sake. And off with you, I know you have chores left to finish!

Mother, why can't we hunt the deer in the Evergreen Glade?

[JNAProductions]

Mother, why can't we hunt the deer in the Evergreen Glade?

"You see, each deer in the Evergreen Glade is the reincarnated spirit of one of us. That's why there's so damn many of them-we're an old people, and we've had a lot of death over the years. That senseless, senseless war... But anyway, we reincarnate as a deer, then as a plant (big ones, mind you-it's why we don't chop the trees of the Glade, but we can step on the grass) and then, once the tree dies rightly and properly, we become an angel. Of course, that's only if you're good... If you're not, it goes skunk, grass, demon. Speaking of which, you did chop the potatoes like I asked, right?"

Mom, dad... Why do ghosts haunt one place?

[Sybracus]

Mom, dad... Why do ghosts haunt one place?

Well child, see with all the death in the world, the afterlife is all kinds of backed up. When a soul hasn't been reincarnated, they tend to stick around, waiting for a spirit to come back with a carriage to bring them to judgement. If they move from that spot, the spirit might miss them when they return. And they will have to wait until the end of time to face judgement, because they lost their place in line.

Big Brother, where does all our stuff go when adventurers pass by?

[Temotei]

Big Brother, where does all our stuff go when adventurers pass by?

Adventurers are said to be descendants of Grandfather Sky, guided by his windy breath. Unfortunately, his breath also often takes our stuff with it. Not much we can do but nail everything worth more than a copper piece to the floorboards and hope the guiding winds aren't strong enough to uproot the house.

Young one, to where do you and your friends always disappear?

[DuctTapeKatar]

Young one, to where do you and your friends always disappear?

The spiders... They tell me things, papa... Horrible things... Papa... They take me to old ruins We've never seen... yet I wander the halls like it was my home at one time... And my friends... They stand in places that they say they once knew... Is it true? What the spiders say?

Papa... Is it true... Why mama ran away? Why they hunted her down? Is it true that I was once a demon? That we were all demons? Is it true that I was once Shel'zag the Weaver of Razors?!

[Recalcitrent]

>Papa... Is it true... Why mama ran away? Why they hunted her down? Is it true that I was once a demon? That we were all demons? Is it true that I was once Shel'zag the Weaver of Razors?

Hey, shhh, calm yourself, wipe your tears away. An orc warrior-to-be must not cry. Now, who's been filling your head will all this nonsense? *listens* Marius? Hmph, I'll have to teach that drunkard a lesson later. *sigh* I suppose, in a way, it is somewhat true, why your mother was hunted down.

Now, a long time ago, after the Titans were defeated, the Gods spread across the world, each to their own domain. However, as seems to be their nature, they grew bored, lonely. So, some of them decided to create mortals, to populate the empty world, each one in the image of their creator. And, for a time, the world was filled with joyousness and peace. However, Grandfather Sky's throne, which had been held up by the Titans, had been falling. The Gods, preoccupied with their new mortal distractions and their duties, failed to notice this happening right in front of them. Now, I don't know why Grandfather Sky did nothing to stop this from happening, but some say it was to test his children, or perhaps their mortal creations, because, when it struck the earth, a great Cataclysm befell the world.

The earth shook underfoot the world over, earthquakes and rock slides and tsunamis struck all over the world, as a great cloud of dust rose to blanket the sky. But, the worst was yet to come. For, where the great throne of Grandfather Sky struck earth, a great chasm was torn into the world, and from it, boiled forth the demons, greatest of which was Shel'zag, Weaver of Razors.

Now, the Gods were busy with protecting mortals from the natural disasters, while still trying to uphold their duties, and didn't have the time to spare to figure out what had happened yet, which is why the demons went unnoticed for so long. As the demons swarmed over the land in their endless numbers, already beleaguered mortals, elves, dwarves, gnomes, humans, everyone in their path was swept up and slain mercilessly. Until this point, mortals had never experienced war, and could offer no real resistance to the demon hordes.

Finally, Gruumsh One-Eye, a disfigured veteran of the Titan Wars, and chief warrior of the gods, took notice of the demon incursion, and brought to them a battle that the likes of which has never been seen before or since. For an untold number of years, Gruumsh fought the demons, pushing them back towards the hole they sprang from, before Shel'zag threw himself into battle with the warrior god. For weeks they battled, and it seemed they had both met their match, for they could not best the other. Gruumsh, seeing that while he battled Shel'zag, the demon horde swarmed past him, knew he had to end this fight now. So, feigning an opening on his blinded side, Gruumsh drew Shel'zag to make a reckless attack, which cost the demon his life, as Gruumsh chopped his head off with his god-axe. However, the warrior god did not escape unharmed, and was gravely wounded.

He knew he had failed. The demons would overrun the mortals that he had fought so long to protect, and it seemed his brothers and sisters had abandoned them to this fate. But, when all seemed lost, the wounded god noticed his foe's lifeblood pouring onto the blasted ground between them, and saw that plants that had died began to sprout wherever the demonblood touched. Gruumsh had never created a mortal race, as he was not a creator god, he was a warrior, and lacked the finesse of power to do so. But, in that moment, he knew that with his foe's own blood, he could make a race worthy of him.

Pouring what remained of his power into the blood, he fashioned a hardy, strong people, not fair in visage, but fierce, and strong of will. The Orcs. The first warlike race had been born. Now, Gruumsh slipped into a slumber he still has yet to awaken from, as his progeny waged a great war upon the scourge of the world.

However, this history was known to only the orcs until very recently. The other mortal races, who had finally learned the art of war after defending themselves from the fraction of the demon horde that had slipped past while Gruumsh and Shel'zag fought, had advanced towards where Grandfather Sky's throne had fallen to earth, seeking to put an end to the demon threat once and for all. But, when they got there, they found only the orcish people, a fractured, tribal society warring with itself for lack of other foes, after having slain the demon horde for good. To the "fairer" races, all they saw were demonbloods who fought among themselves, and sought their ruin. And for millennia orcs struggled to defend their very survival from the people they were created to protect.

And that, my daughter, is why your mother was hunted down, because even now, there are still people who refuse to believe that orcs aren't demonspawn. The so called "Silver Legions" call themselves demonhunters, but are little more than lynch mobs to hunt down orcs and their kin. But, you don't have to worry, child, because the town made it very clear to the Silver Legion that they will not be tolerated here, with the heads of those who killed your mother...my wife.

Grandmother, if Grandfather Sky and Grandmother Sea love us, why do they send hurricanes and typhoons?

[Temotei]

Grandmother, if Grandfather Sky and Grandmother Sea love us, why do they send hurricanes and typhoons?

Ah, Poppet. It is simple. The challenges we are given strengthen our resolve to live. The gift of life we have been given is beautiful, and the possibly even greater gift of cherishing this gift is a sure sign of love.

This is the explanation you will receive for now. Perhaps you will learn more as you grow.

[Grandmother, you told me long ago that you might tell me more about the storms Grandfather Sky and Grandmother Sea send to us. Are they really signs of love?]

Poppet-

[Grandmother, don't you think I'm too old for that name?]

You are only too old for it when I am too old to say it, Poppet. Now, shush--one question at a time.

What I told you when you were little...do you remember it?

[Yes, Grandmother.]

Good. It is the truth--at least, as far as we know it. The rest is hearsay for the common people such as us. There are some who say they have explored the edges of the heavens and the ends of the oceans. These adventurers come bearing stories of endless turmoil in the waters and winds that stir even their experience-hardened hearts to fear. They speak of a nebulous dread, fear of fear within those who have seen the manifestation of Fear, Dismair, and defeated it. Those who have all but become fear themselves, but still cannot comprehend the ends of the world. These storms, they say, are The End, The Resolution--that it is coming to us, creeping over the edges of a horizon we cannot see, is a certainty. It is only a matter of time before the world is taken by endless storm, and it is reclaimed to be truly borne by their love again.

These adventurers claim that Grandmother Sea and Grandfather Sky are currently unable to love the world--us. They are disconnected, partitioned off from us by the sins of the Titans, and by our own sins, manifest in the Living Hate (Rancorus), the Living Fear (Dismair), and many other creations of our own connected subconscious wills. When our people speak of relations to all across the world, we are speaking truthfully, not metaphorically. Our bloodlines may not be connected, but the winds and the waters of life connect us just as any familial relations would. This connection is what they speak of--and this connection is what has brought about our own destruction.

To take these stories as truth, if only for the sake of it, is to accept that the storms Grandfather Sky and Grandmother Sea send to us are representations of their love, their desire to be with us. Unfortunately, this very love and desire will destroy us, forever preventing them from watching over us as they do so wish.


Mama, tell me the story about Kentar (http://www.giantitp.com/forums/showsinglepost.php?p=21509855&postcount=4) again! The one where he wins over and marries Tragdar the Baker!

[DontEvenAsk]

Mama, tell me the story about Kentar (http://www.giantitp.com/forums/showsinglepost.php?p=21509855&postcount=4) again! The one where he wins over and marries Tragdar the Baker!
Again, sweet? All right, if that's what you want.

Long, long ago, when Luss of the Strong Arm was just a little girl who skipped the sun over the land like a stone on the water, a mountain spirit woke up in his stone - a nice, shiny, mirror-like stone, like the obsidian amulet you wore when you were little - and found that he was hungry. Very, very, very hungry. And so he got up and began to look for things to eat.

Now, that day, Hyalar the Clever was walking through the mountains, looking for Minna the halfling, who had taught him to care for mortals. He was so distraught as he searched for her that he lost his cloak fastener, which was magic. It was called the Clever God's Clasp, and no one was allowed to touch it without first asking Hyalar three times. But the mountain spirit saw it, and he was so hungry he thought it might be good eating, for all it was metal. So he picked that clasp right up and ate it. And just like that, he overcame a rule made by Hyalar the Clever himself, and when he swallowed down the Clever God's Clasp he got all its power for himself. And after this he was still hungry.

Hyalar always knew where his clasp was, and the instant the mountain spirit ate it, he said, "Hi, you! I know what you've done. That was my clasp, and you must pay for its loss. Tell me your name, so that I will know what to call you when I collect."

The spirit said, "I have no name, O Clever One."

"Then I will call you Kentar," Hyalar said, which in the old language that people spoke in those days just meant mirror.

"Tell me what you want," said Kentar, "and I will get it for you straightaway. I do not like being in debt to anyone."

And Hyalar said, "There is one thing which I would ask of you. Go to the Sun City of Bentahask, and bring back to me the Queen's son, whose name is Tragdar. She once promised me her firstborn; that is a curious tale which I do not want to tell a simple spirit, but it is enough to say that she has yet to keep her word."

"Why," asked Kentar, "do you not go to Bentahask yourself and do this?"

"You fool!" Hyalar cried. "Do you not know that the Sun Cities belong to Bran, the Keeper of Mountains? I cannot set foot within their walls."

Kentar could not argue with this, so he said, "I will do this deed, and be freed from my debt."

So Kentar picked up his shiny stone, and he set out for Bentahask. Bentahask, now, was a great city made of magic metal, built to hold the sun as it skipped across the land. Its Queen, whose name was Yitter, was very clever and a famous warrior. At the gates of Bentahask she posted lots of guards, whose job was to search any visitors for weapons and then take them and keep them until the visitors left. When Kentar came to Bentahask, the guards took one look at him, with his broad chest and strong arms, and they were afraid he might use the big round block of obsidian he carried as a weapon. So they told him to leave it at the gate, and he did, because, you see, he really wanted to be free of his debt. Hyalar is hands down the worst god to owe something, because you never know what he's going to ask you to do. It could be something simple, like eat your vegetables at dinner. Or it could be something like what he told Kentar to do.

It's simpler to just eat your vegetables, isn't it?

Anyway, Kentar went into the city and started asking around for where he could find the Queen's son. Soon he learned that the Queen lived in a big black iron castle, and that every night at sunset she stood on the balcony with her husband and her son and waved goodnight to all her subjects. He decided to climb the balcony during the noon hour, when everyone was sleeping, and hide there until nightfall. He blended right in with the iron, and because he was a mountain spirit, he was strong enough to hold on to the balcony all day.

When the sun began to set, Queen Yitter came out onto the balcony with her family to wave goodnight, and next to her was Tragdar, dressed all in red, looking like a hundred sunsets. Kentar loved him immediately, and decided that Tragdar was too good to be Hyalar's servant all his life, which is what usually happens when you promise a god your firstborn. Don't ever do it, sweetie, no matter what the cost. If a god asks for your firstborn as a trade, make a better offer instead.

No, this doesn't have anything to do with your sister. Shush.

So Kentar went outside the city gates to his shiny block of obsidian, which was where he kept all his magic power as a spirit. He polished it with his sleeve and said, "Give me twice the amount of gold owned by the Queen of Bentahask." Because he was a mountain spirit, the stone was full of every precious thing ever to sit under a mountain, and the flood of gold that came out blanketed the land. He was afraid someone might see it, so he said, "Take back the gold and give me twenty perfect rubies." So the stone gave him twenty rubies, all large and flawlessly cut, each a different shade of red. No, I don't know what a ruby looks like. It's a red gem. Don't interrupt.

So Kentar, after looking at these rubies for a bit, realized that if he wanted to seem like a fancy person who could marry royalty, he'd have to dress like one too. So he said, "Give me twenty gold coins." When he had those, he went to market with them and bought a fancy box to put the rubies in, and a big bag to put gold in, and then went back for more gold. He spent a few days this way, buying the fancy clothes and the nice horse and everything else he needed to look like a rich fellow. But in those few days, a guard actually noticed him, and was very surprised. The guard kept it to himself, though.

Then Kentar got all dressed up and went to the iron castle, in the front door this time, during visiting hours. He walked right up to the Queen, opened his box of rubies, and said, "I am Kentar, Prince of the Mountains. These rubies are a small part of my wealth."

"You have my attention," said Queen Yitter.

And Kentar - I've never heard anyone mention this other than me, but I figure he must've been awfully nervous - Kentar said, "I've come to ask permission to marry your son."

The Queen sat there and thought that over for a long time, and finally she just said, "No." No explanation, no nothing, just... "No." Kentar was mighty annoyed.

Stop squirming! I know you know the ending, but you've gotta be patient.

So Kentar walked around back of the castle - it wasn't much of a castle, really, if he could walk around back of it, but I always heard it called a castle. Maybe it was a palace.

He walked around back of the palace, and because he still never stopped being hungry, he decided to walk past the kitchen and see if he could talk himself into some leftovers. While he was doing this, he asked one of the very poor scullery maids where he could find Tragdar. The scullery maid laughed at him, but when he asked again, she said that Tragdar was always down in the kitchen when he had spare time from all the prince things he had to do of a day. Kentar thought that was awful odd, but he just asked the maid if he could come by there every so often. She thought he was the Prince of the Mountains, so of course she said yes.

The very next day Kentar came to the kitchen in his regular clothes, without any of the fancy things he'd bought at the market, and he found Tragdar there in the middle of all the bustle, turning out pastry like the people outside were starving to death. You know how I look when I'm baking, sweetie, you tell me if people look very nice at it. No, not usually. They're all bent over the counter, covered in flour and maybe grease and things, been stirring and kneading and sweating from the oven. Well, Tragdar was that sort of person that could look good doing anything. I only met one person like that in my life, and she was an elf.

And Kentar walked in, and he said, "Well! I didn't know Princes of Bentahask were also taught to bake, as well as to ride and fight and speak handsomely."

Tragdar had heard of this weird Prince out of nowhere who apparently wanted to marry him, and like with the nervous part, nobody ever told me this, but I'm pretty sure Tragdar blushed to the roots of his hair. That's what I've always thought, anyway. And then he said, "Not at all; I learned because I care to."

Well, Kentar was a sharp one, and he asked, "Do you not care for the court, then?"

And in fact Tragdar did not care for the court one bit, and he said so.

"Except," he said, "for the jewels everyone wears at court. If I could decorate a loaf of bread with jewels, I would do it."

Well, if there's one thing Kentar had a lot of, it was jewels. So every day, he came and talked to Tragdar about this and that, whatever things you talk about in a Sun City palace kitchen, I don't know. And every day he also gave Tragdar a jewel. So they became very good friends, and they both got over some of their being nervous - at least, I figure that's what Mama - your Grandmama - meant when she told me they "got used to each other." Mama wasn't always all that clear when she told stories.

Well, she must've gotten better at it in the meantime, then.

Well, it turned out that the scullery maid and the guard who'd seen the magic stone were engaged to be married - yes, that's a funny coincidence, isn't it? I remember thinking just the same thing when I heard this story the second time, and Mama told me it was just how things worked in these kinds of stories.

No, I didn't hear the story twice because I kept pestering my elders about it like you. I heard it twice because my little sister was hearing it for the first time and I was sitting next to her.

Of course I wasn't sitting next to her because it was my favorite story, don't be ridiculous.

Well, after a while of these friendly visits, the scullery maid happened to mention them to the guard, and the guard realized that the Prince of the Mountains and the odd foreigner with the magic stone had to be one and the same - they looked just alike, see? And then just like that he got this funny feeling that Kentar was Big Trouble.

Which was true, just not the way he thought.

So the guard got his scullery maid fiancee to go talk to the Queen and tell her all about Kentar visiting Tragdar in the kitchen. And the Queen got furious. She called Kentar up before her in an audience, and she called up Tragdar too, and demanded to know WHAT IS THE MEANING OF THIS? in a big voice that boomed and rolled all through the throne room.

Well of course they had only been talking and baking, not fooling around or anything else stupid like that. But Kentar seemed all suspicious to her now, because of his magic. So he confessed to Tragdar that he was actually not the Prince of the Mountains but actually just a mountain spirit who had swallowed a magic clasp that made him specially powerful.

Well, then it was Tragdar's turn to confess something. Stop squirming! Yes, I know this is the good part.

Tragdar confessed that he was actually not the Queen's son at all!

In those days, it was so common for babies and children to get terrible sick and die that people wouldn't announce them until they got to be around their fourteenth year. It seemed to everyone that the Queen just had a son, raised him up for fourteen years, and then announced she'd named him Tragdar.

What actually happened was, when the Queen's real son came of age, she realized that Hyalar would soon come looking for him, so she went out walking the streets because she was so upset she just didn't know what to do, and started wandering. Well, she ran into a baker, who was blind, and so he didn't know who she was. And he had a son who was just about as handsome as a hundred sunsets, and that was Tragdar. Tragdar was just about to graduate from apprenticeship as a baker, she soon learned, and so she hatched a clever plan. Queen Yitter was very good at clever plans.

She arranged for the baker's son Tragdar to trade places with her real son, whose name was Murin. And so then Tragdar was the Prince of Bentahask, and Murin had to learn to be a baker. It turns out Murin was a terrible baker, and he cheated people by filling up their bread with sawdust and charging them extra for it anyway.

Well, after all that business came out, Kentar finally fessed up to being actually sent to take Tragdar back to Hyalar as a servant, because Hyalar thought he was the Queen's firstborn. So the Queen had Murin arrested for bread fraud - yes, that was a real crime you could charge people with; people still do it, it's just counted under defraudment, which is a big complicated thing I'll explain when you're older - and said Kentar could take him to Hyalar to get his debt paid, and then she agreed that Kentar and Tragdar could get married.

When Kentar explained all this business to Hyalar, the god was shocked and amazed. He said, "By puzzling out this tangle, you have done me a great service. I now owe you a debt."

Well, Kentar was just beside himself with happiness, and he decided to hold on to that debt for another day. And he went and married Tragdar at sunset in Bentahask, all in shiny black with his shiny magic stone on his back, with Tragdar in red looking like a hundred sunsets. The Queen gave her blessing, and in the names of Bran and Luss their hands were joined.

And when Bran heard what had happened, and how Kentar had gotten one over on Hyalar, he came to the wedding in his own mighty self, and said, "Kentar of Obsidian, did you know that when you swallowed the Clasp of the Clever God, you became yourself a god?"

And it's true. It was that powerful.

Well, Kentar didn't know that beforehand, so he said no, which was the truth.

"It is so," said Bran, "and I now pronounce you Prince of the Mountains, God of the Mirror as consequence."

And then, when the moon was invented, Kentar went on to become the moon god, and took Tragdar up to the gods' lands with him, and they had all sorts of adventures. Nowadays Kentar has to do the ugly jobs nobody else wants to, like stealing back spring when it's time to end winter. But those are all different stories, and this is what you asked me to tell. Unless you'd like another one?

...ohhhh, bless your heart, little sleepyhead.

Sleep well.
Daddy, why is it most birds can fly, but chickens can't?

[RazDelacroix]

Daddy, why is it most birds can fly, but chickens can't?

Well my precious darling, there is quite the tale to that! If your mother were here she'd tell it all in rhyme and song. Alas, she decided to sleep for the winter. On to the tale!

Long ago chickens could fly like any other bird! The feathers of their wings and tail were longer, and they had colorful crests atop their heads that inspired our own knights to adorn plumage, and with these feathers they could fly as easily as eagles. One day, the great flock of chickens came upon a field of gold corn. Now this corn was special, for this was before dwarfs lived underground and so they grew corn to get their gold. Now the flock of chickens began to devour the corn as their greedy little hearts inclined them to do. But all that weight made them fat, and lazy, and soon they were weighed down by their gluttonous feast. No sooner had they eaten their fill than the wolves came for them and tore into the whole lot of them. Their bright and colorful plumage made them easy to spot, and they could not fly with such large bellies. Those that did try to fly were the first to be ripped apart by the ever-hungry pack of wolves.

When the massacre was finished, the only chickens that were left were battle-scarred roosters and hens that had fled on foot to the farms of our halfling friends. There it was agreed to an arrangement, that in turn for the occasional sacrifice of their meat and unborn young, the farmers would tend to the chickens and protect them from the wolves.

And that's why we are having chicken noodle soup! It cures everything! Just ask your mother when she stops hibernating!


"Oh Mother of my Mother, why is the earth's blood so black and yet so colorful in the right light?"

[chando]

"Oh Mother of my Mother, why is the earth's blood so black and yet so colorful in the right light?"

Well, little one, in the spirit world once there was a hungry snake-woman, Cihuacoatl, who had mouths all over her body and was constantly, eating their brother creations. As they could not feed her, her brothers Ashcoatl of the Cloud and Ishcoatl of the River drag her down great waters and mutilated her body. They made woods out of her hair and lakes out of her eyes. Of her shoulders they made mountains and from her nose, valleys. But her mouths were still everywhere and she still cries for food. When it rains, she drinks. When flowers wither, trees fall and people die, she eats. But she is never satisfied.
So she cries that black blood in the mountains by the lake, out of sorrow for her lost body, for her lost brothers. But it's said that when her tears meet with the tears from the cloud and the rivers, the love of the three brothers transmutes the tears together. That’s why we always found these little golden rocks by the river after storms.


"Granny, why do we pray to evil gods?"

[ArlEammon]

"Granny, why do we pray to evil gods."
"Little one, we pray to evil gods because they have power. The evil gods can become good. The evil gods may stay evil, but if we anger them, we will all be destroyed."
"This is the very spot, the Dark Valley, where the Father Of Evil first entered the war in the Dark Crusades."
"Long ago the Father of All Evil was under assault by the Chosen Ones. The Chosen Ones attempted to purify the Father Of All Evil but could not. He would not relent in his evil spirit, for that is what he always was. But the wisest of the virtuous gods causes the Father of Evil to speak blessings, not curses, and feel remorse, pity, and sympathy, not jealousy, not wrath, not cruelty, but goodness. Out of these blessings, The Father of Evil wept a single tear for each murder, each victim of an evil death that would die."

"The Father Of Evil can never be redeemed, but his tears became the Blood Crystals of the world, used to excorcize demons from the world. With these Blood Crystals, demons can be appeased or fooled without the need for sacrifice.'

'Granda, why do the dragons hate the giants?"

[ShiningStarling]

'Granda, why do the dragons hate the giants?"

I told you to stop callin' me that! Just Allison will do.

As for those two, it's an age old fight, that. The Giants long, long ago stole the secret of Dragon scales from the great forges of Yltair the Dragon Smith, and have used it in all their armor and weapons since, and while they were at it, they poisoned his metal, weakening all dragons made thereafter! The scales, you see, cannot be breached by magic of any sort when made right, but the tainted scales were vulnerable still, and so the dragons have ever hunted giants, both for revenge and to try to recover the secret of their scales.

Please sir, you must tell me what became of my sister in the war! She's the only friend I have in the world, please!

[inuyasha]

Having joined as a Warmage, I'm afraid she got one of the most dangerous jobs of all. When a Warmage such as your sister goes out onto the battlefield, the elements go berserk at their very whim, creating primordial fire and crackling lightning with a thought, word, and motion of the hand. These elements do not take kindly to being enslaved to a mere mortal, which is why the Elves are better at using magic than us humans. When a Warmage overdoes it, using too much magic than their soul can handle, the Elemental Lords take their toll.

Nobody's really sure what happens, but the body is consumed in one last grand spell, created as the final act of the Warmage, and shaped in any way they can think of in their last moments of life. The soul afterwards is then taken, and moves throughout the multiverse. Some say they become Elemental Lords in their own right, as the fundamental nature is changed so much that they become out of reach to even the most skilled of priests.


Professor, if they are treated as tribal savages, why do Kobolds have such an affinity for ingenious traps both mechanical and magical?

[JNAProductions]

Professor, if they are treated as tribal savages, why do Kobolds have such an affinity for ingenious traps both mechanical and magical?

Because shut up! They're inferior, and that's that!

*Later, after the lecture, the assistant comes to you.*

So... The professor kinda shut down your question, but I've actually been studying kobolds for a while. I think it's some kind of racial memory-it's in their bones. I think-now, I could be wrong here, but-they were once a mighty and marvelous race, with wonders unlike anything else! But they've degraded since then, and I'm trying to find out why. All that's left is vestiges of their once mighty species.

Dad! I cut myself!

...

Why do we bleed red?

[ArlEammon]

"Son, we bleed red because of a sacrifice to the gods. I don't know what we used to bleed, but we bleed red now because our ancestors went to war with the red dragons and nearly drove them extinct. We imprisoned the rest and because of that we bleed red."

"Grand Master, why do we learn magic through martial arts, but the magic of the West is through the elements?"

[inuyasha]

Because in the ancient times, our ancestors sought to steal magic from the gods. Most succeeded, however, one young rogue was caught stealing great magics of endurance and strength. He was spotted by the god of war and battle, so since then we have been cursed to learn our magic through hard work and toil, blood and sweat.

The magic of the west however, infuses the land as it rains from the clouds. Their strange god the Cloud Gnome is said to have made a machine to infuse the air and water with magic, and thus the trees and grass, and thus the animals that eat. As the westerners consume their food, the magic enters their bloodstream and stays there. The magic has built up through generations of consumption, which is why we cannot benefit from it immediately by going to live there.


O wise chief, scourge of elves and breaker of dwarves, why do we yelp like beasts when we get hurt, when we are the only ones who possess the gift of speech?

[RazDelacroix]

inuyasha
O wise chief, scourge of elves and breaker of dwarves, why do we yelp like beasts when we get hurt, when we are the only ones who possess the gift of speech?

"Because there is a beast inside all of us. All of us true-blooded and right-thinking masters of the world. The gods place the beast inside of us so that we may be empowered by the strength of the beast, the cunning of the beast, the will of the beast! We take this blessing of the beast so that we may crush the man-animals, ravish and breed out the weakness of the elves, burn the dwarves in the very heart of their nests!

On this moon, we shall let the beasts cry out in jubilation! Our songs shall herald the divine might of our gods and through us shall their glory be worked upon the world! When we are struck and take pain, the beast cries out from the inside to remind us to do better! Now, shift and devour the weak animals who cringe from our song! For tonight, WE HUNT!"


"Treasured Elder, why does silver sting the flesh of the wicked so?"

[inuyasha]

Because the wicked come from places deep below the earth, defiling it and laying in tremendous pools of their own filth. When they escape such foul environs, the only thing that can harm them is an object of purity from their home equal in strength to their blasphemous ways.

"Sorcerer of Dragon-Blood, why do lizards so resemble your ancient kin, but lack wits and magic?

[DuctTapeKatar]

"Sorcerer of Dragon-Blood, why do lizards so resemble your ancient kin, but lack wits and magic?

IN ANCIENT TIMES, THE GREAT DRAGON BILGEHEART MADE A PACT THAT OTHER DRAGONS RATHER IRRITABLE. SO, TEY TOOK OUT HIS BRAIN. THOSE ARE HIS KIDS.

"Can you quit yelling?"

NO.

Why do the dead people keep coming back?

[Thunderfist12]

Why do the dead people keep coming back?

Grandfather: "Would YOU like to lie in a box for all eternity?"

Child: "Not really."

Grandfather: "Well, neither do they."

Father: "Come on, pa, don't fill the boy's head with such nonsense. It's because - "

Grandfather: "Nope! Boxes it is!" *speaking again to the child* "Now off to bed with you."

---

"Father, why aren't the stars always there at night? Do they have somewhere else to be?"

[inuyasha]

Well child, as you may know, during the day the stars all group together to form the sun, in all its glory. Some say that during nights where the sky is dark and lightless, the stars have formed a secondary sun far away in the world, to grant hope when extreme tragedy of the highest caliber arises.

Grandmother, why does water banish flame?

[JNAProductions]

Grandmother, why does water banish flame?

Well, you see, squirt, water and fire love each other very much. But water, being inherently magical, is able to send fire to the Elemental Plane of Water, where it can be amongst the rest of the water. As a result, the water discorporates, being replaced by steam-a sort of magical backlash.

Goddess, why did you tell us to burn down... Everything?

[ArlEammon]

Goddess, why did you tell us to burn down... Everything?


"The souls of the slain children make their way to me where they may find rest or find parents once again through reincarnation."
"The city was put to the sword, men, women, old, and children, and the weak, because the demons empower them. Should they have been allowed to exist, their blood line would grow filthier with demons until there was nothing left but a living demon in corporeal form."
"The city of Thyra was once the capital of the world's first global empire. After three hundred years of dominance, the Empire became intolerable. The murder of children, the rape of women, the sacrifice of the weak for the strong, and the strong yet for false gods. Demon worship in order to sate their sinful appetites became so strong the people were transformed naturally into monstrous souls for all their filthiness."
"I, the Goddess Of Fire demanded you purify them all, lest their bloodline rise up to bring the End Of Days. You failed."

"Acolyte, why have you murdered the High Priestess?"

[inuyasha]

It was in the old days that students would kill their masters! I have slain the hierophant as a sacrifice to our goddess, and I seek to bring new order and discipline to this church!

A change has come about in the celestial hierarchy. I have heard mutterings from Her Holiness, saying that her will is to be formed anew. No more musty tomes, for these words decay, and instead our stories should be etched in shields and the blades of swords! No more pews, as they weaken the soul and body, instead we are to stand on nails to toughen our feet like true soldiers! And finally, no more ancient priestesses, droning on about grace, we will take evil and smite it with words of war and power!


Chirurgeon, why does the body grow rigid after death?

[Thunderfist12]

Chirurgeon, why does the body grow rigid after death?

Chirurgeon: "Because, child, dying is very, very painful. The reason you stay all tense is that you never wake up to feel relief."

Apprentice: "Never?"

Chirurgeon: "Well... usually not."

---

"Elder, who was the first Wizard? What was he like? Was he old and wise like you?"

[JNAProductions]

"Elder, who was the first Wizard? What was he like? Was he old and wise like you?"

"The first Wizard was actually a Sourcerer. That is, a source of magic. There were many Sourcerers before him-or her, or it, I'm not quite sure-but they were the first one to codify magic. They created the first spells-specific workings of the hand and voice to compel magic to act in a certain way. Hearsay has it that they accomplished all this by the age of 32, so not quite as old, but most likely far wiser."



"Grandfather, why do we use steel for coins AND swords?"

[Thunderfist12]

"Grandfather, why do we use steel for coins AND swords?"

Grandfather: "The living make coin and swords take the living. Steel is both life and death... both sides of the same coin, you could say."
---

"Brother eldest, who are the men in the Mountain?"

[inuyasha]

Well, young one, they say that the first of the wizards was also one you'd never expect. People always think the elves pioneered wizardly magic, but they didn't really need that. Their flexibility and intellect proved useful in other ways! No, the first Wizard was a young man, one human with a dream to look into the future. Using his magics, he managed to predict the weather perfectly, determine whether crops would grow, and eventually he progressed to more martial uses... predicting whether an attack would strike, and adjusting appropriately, divining proper battle strategies, and even figuring out how peer into the domains of gods! This human also made his dream easily understood, which is why it is so much easier to learn Divination magic than any other specialist mage.

EDIT: I got ninja'd hardcore, hold on!

Some call the Knockers, others call them mole men, and yet others still say that they're demons. Nobody's really sure what lives in the mountain, but they've proven useful thus far in warning of cave-ins and impending monster attacks, sending envoys under cover of darkness and spells. I personally think it's a small group of gnomes with a decent sense of humor and a good amount of magic behind 'em.

King of these wide realms, why do the Halflings not speak of their magical accomplishments?

[Thunderfist12]

King of these wide realms, why do the Halflings not speak of their magical accomplishments?

King: "Well, mage-to-be, if you must know, it's simply that few still walking the world remember them. Generations ago, before the first wizards penned the secrets of magic and before the first sorcerer felt the call of his boiling blood, it was they who bore the heavy burden of the world's greatest and most wondrous magic. It was under them that the first Wizard, a mortal man named Galen, studied his art. Learned though he was, he was unable to conjure any magical power save through the aid of his teachers, a circle of powerful warlocks known as the Druids. Until, legend has it, he struck a deal with the god Kurtulmac. While he promised great power and long life to the druids who devoted their craft to him, the god had his own plan. He stripped the little folk of their craft and shaped the druids into the first kobolds, whom he made loyal only to him. The resulting backlash of magical energy left many of the ungifted with strange and often aberrant gifts. Most of this power, however, went not to Galen or his cronies, but to the newly made children of Kurtulmac, who lorded over the land in the absence of the druids. Whether out of fear for the new order or out of sheer remorse for what he had done, Galen gathered a group of gnomish miners and led the druid-kings into a crypt where he promised they'd find a relic of ultimate and unchallenged power. Instead, the miners caused a rockslide, sealing them inside for all eternity. When the gods Garl and Boccob saw this, they rewarded mortalkind with magic, giving the greatest portion to the gnomes and the smallest unto men and halflings. It is so because time and again men like Galen have proven that men are too easily corrupted, just as halflings are too easily persuaded."

---

"Father? When the wolves come, why don't the sheep fight back?"

[JNAProductions]

"Father? When the wolves come, why don't the sheep fight back?"

"Well, kiddo, you see, sheep worship the wolves. They are their gods-mysterious beings that come from the forest, and claim their tributes. It's why they sometimes don't even run-they're especially pious sheep. It's like how we sacrifice someone once a month to the dragon on the mountain, only a bit more random. Speaking of which, eat up-the dragon likes 'em fat."



Why does salt taste good?

[jqavins]

Why does salt taste good?
Why must you ask so many questions? Oh, well, I can tell you.

Have you ever noticed that all of our food is either an animal or a plant? Well, Canalite, the Mad King of the Earth Elementals noticed. And he was jealous. Yes, jealous because mortals didn't want to eat him; didn't I say he was mad? "If plants and animals are good enough to eat," he roared, "then rocks are even better!" So he used all his magic to make us mortals like eating rocks. Fortunately for us, he never had much magic, and all he could accomplish is to make us love eating one kind of rock: salt.

-----

Daddy. Daddy. Daddy. DADDY! Why are there stars? What is water made of? Who invented dirt? Who was that lady you were kissing? How come kitties don't lay eggs like chickens? Why is Henry so mean to me?

[DuctTapeKatar]

Daddy. Daddy. Daddy. DADDY! Why are there stars? What is water made of? Who invented dirt? Who was that lady you were kissing? How come kitties don't lay eggs like chickens? Why is Henry so mean to me?

Grumble grumble...

Stars are there... because... stars... *dozes off...*

*snort* Stars! They're things that were... uh... souls. That's what they are.

Dirt? Dirt? ... Well, we did... kinda... There used to be no dirt. Then we ate stuff... Then, well, you know the rest.

That woman was your succubus mother, coming back from some etheral plane or somesuch so she could feed off... well, you'll learn that in the future.

Cats DO lay eggs. The eggs are just really good at hiding. That's right. They hide. They have legs to move around.

As for Henry? He knows that you're the daughter of a succubus.

On a different note, do you know where my ax is? I have work to do now.

Who are you? Why are you in the sacred chamber of Yg'yllsmot? Why are you naked, and for god's sake, why are you covered in blood?

[RazDelacroix]

Who are you? Why are you in the sacred chamber of Yg'yllsmot? Why are you naked, and for god's sake, why are you covered in blood?

"Who am I? Why am I here? What do you think?! YOU DID THIS TO ME! Your befouling of my sacred words have twisted my form into this woman's you see before you! The corrupt actions of your people have wrung me from my rightful domain and drenched me in the blood of the innocents you cruel debased mortals have murdered in MY NAME!

Now? Now of all times do you and your little spiteful charlatans cringe and seek my wisdom? Now you question my cloth and bearing? Now you ponder where all the blood you spilled has gone off to? Do you not know, the consequences, of SPEAKING A DIVINE NAME IN VAIN AND SLANDER?!

Have my holy texts been scrawled over with the filth and dung of merchants to slavery and death? Has my wisdom been lost to the ravages of avarice and arrogance? Oh how shall I ever deal with this now? Now that your misbegotten clerics have mangled the holy names of my divine servants and made mockery of their forms now manifest in these... 'Lords of the Realm'.

So be it. It seems I must seek out boon company to help me sort out this kingdom and remove the stain from my divine legacy. I shall in good time take back my name and see it spoken once more in those devoted to my teachings. First, I must clean up my holy house.

Oh look, my last paladin left their Holy Avenger here. Beneath my Altar. Just. In. Case.

Do not speak, for you are bereft of life and throat. And you make me angry.

I, am Ys'gymallsmotora. My word shall be holy once more."



"Grandfather, is it true about sticks and stones breaking bones but names cannot hurt us?"

[jqavins]

Grandfather, is it true about sticks and stones breaking bones but names cannot hurt us?
Ah, my dear child, it's strange how often tragic history is remembered in children's rhymes. (Yes, yes, I know it doesn't rhyme; that's just an expression.)

Do you know that Outsiders all have two names? One name they use to face the world, and the other, which is called the True Name (though I've never understood what's any more 'true' about it) is the key to holding power over them. You'll learn more about this if the Gift shows in you as has in your brother.

What most people have forgotten is that once, thousands of years ago, we mortals had "True Names" as well. The casters of magic sought often to learn the true names of their enemies, mortal and outsider alike. If your True Name was learned, a powerful mage could destroy you, body, mind, spirit, and soul; or he could destroy only your spirit, making you his slave; he could trap your soul in unending torment, either with your mind intact to experience the pain or without it, at his whim; a powerful mage could control or destroy you in a hundred ways, if he knew your True Name. But most people had nothing to fear, for most people never have to opportunity, let alone a reason to make an enemy of a mage; mostly they battled each other, and most would fight to put down those evil ones who tormented ordinary people. And life went on, generally in peace.

Then came the calamitous day when Morgloch (cursed be his name) devised a way to learn the True Name of any mortal. Morgloch (may the dust of his bones remain ever dry) was powerful among demons; by stealing and tormenting the souls of mortals he hoped to more become powerful than any other, and even to become a god. He made slaves of many mortals, and killed many more just to satisfy his lust for pain and blood. He demanded worship; his slaves constructed temples and many more, who were not his slaves, willingly gave themselves to him.

Why? Who knows why they would give themselves to him? Some, probably, thought they would gain wealth or status as worshipers of Morgloch (forever is he reviled) when he became a god. Perhaps some shared his lust for pain and blood. Others- I simply don't know why fools and evil men do what they do.

The gods tried to stop Morgloch (the never-god) but he continued to gain power through the souls he possessed. And they could not break his method of learning True Names, for they did not know how he did it. But finally, Hyyallar the Trickster, whose mischief is not always so evil as many think him, and who was never so evil as Morgloch (ever cursed) figured out that if he could not hide the True Names of mortals, he could take their True Names away. And this he did. Some who were in Morgloch's (damned and accursed) thrall stood with him, and died with him when the gods struck him down. Some, whose souls he possessed, died on the moment, which was a great tragedy, for they were innocent. But this was a small price to pay compared to the darkness that would have befallen us all if Morgloch (curse his bones) had become the god he wanted to be.

Without true names, mortals ever since have been less magical than we used to be, fewer of us have the ability to become mages, for in the time before Morgloch (who must never return) we could all cast spells, even if most could cast only the weaker magics. But that, too, is a small price to pay.

And now, the great calamity of that time is remembered mainly in a child's rhyme (yes, yes; hush) for it is indeed true that though sticks and stones can still break bones, but Names can never more hurt us.

-----------------

Great Ys'gymallsmotora, not all of us have forgotten you. But we had almost lost hope; why did you wait so long to return?

[jqavins]

Did I kill the thread? I'm sorry. I could withdraw the question and come up with another.

[Thunderfist12]

Great Ys'gymallsmotora, not all of us have forgotten you. But we had almost lost hope; why did you wait so long to return?

The Great: Great what? What the devils are you - oh. I see. I had nearly forgotten that name, dust-child, for I have not borne so much as a rune for the past eon. Pray tell, where do your people say I went?

???: In honesty m'lord, they don't.

The Great: *scoffs* I'd thought as much. Have you heard of the Battle of Karadheine, when I battled the hag Czyra Ys'Ladrian?

???: Of course, m'lord. They say you fled the hill.

The Great: DO THEY NOW?

???: Many pardons, m'lord.

The Great: Accepted, soldier. In truth, I never fled the grounds - nor had I perished. Although in a manner you could say I had...

???: I don't understand, m'lord.

The Great: Neither do I, entirely. It's quite hazy - a few millennia in the Underworld can do that to a man.

???: The Underworld?

The Great: Yes.

???: So you met the Faceless One then?

The Great: Obviously.

???: What was he like?

The Great: Boring. His half-wit lackey of a gatekeeper held better conversation in his sleep. Which was when I slit his throat and escaped.

???: YOU DID WHAT???

The Great: Did I stutter, soldier?

???: No, my liege. But... if you killed the Gate-Keeper...

The Great: Yes. My return brought about these hordes of undead. If I had known I would never have dreamed of escaping. I grow tired of these questions, soldier, and we need to stop to make camp before the sun rises.

???: But m'lord -

The Great: Now.

???: Yes, m'lord.

--------------

Master Gransmyr? Why are the undead so afraid of water?

[jqavins]

All know that the undead are harmed by holy water, is it not so? But all water comes from Grandfather Sky and flows to Grandmother Sea, giving life along its way. And the life that water brings blesses the water in return, with algae and fish and, yes, even with its leavings. (With its leavings? You mean poop and pee bless the water? Yes, dear, because that too is part of life. Up to a point. Ewwww! Hush.) So all water is holy, at least a little. Oh, not all of it can harm the undead, but it hurts them and it reminds them - those that can think at all - of their vulnerability. So they fear it, as well they should. Now, drink up, and remember to thank your Grandfather for his holy gift.
----------
Grandpa, have you ever seen an orc? My friend Sally sais she saw one, but Ezra says he was only half orc. If orcs are so different from us, how come they look like us. Well, mostly like us.

[falcon1]

The differences are inside, little one. An orc's soul is connected to storms. That is why they always rage and roar, for they are thunder and wind trapped in mortal flesh. A half orc feels the call of the storm all the same. Of course, orcs do look a bit different.

What about the goblins, Grandpa?

[DemonicAngel]

Ah yes, the goblins. the greenskins, cousins of orcs, gnomes and kobolds.

what do you mean, you never knew orcs and gnomes were related? orcs, although some think are demon-blooded, are actually connected to Storms. And you do remember the stories about the gnome in the sky? yes, the one with the gods and the thunder.

well, orcs were the creation of the great god warrior, demon blood, and the spark of lightning from the gnome itself.
but the great warrior god did not notice he missed a few drops of the demon blood, that dripped down into the earth, to the lairs of the kobolds.

kobolds, with all their mischievous technologies, worshiped the storm gnome for all his power! lightning and thunder! and when they found those drops of blood, imbued with power from different spheres of influence, and charged with the electrifying energy of their god,they decided they must make use of it! with their knowledge of science,, they did what no other mortal race has ever done, created new life!

but alas, the gods saw it, and were displeased. and thus,the trickster god decided he had enough, and created an accident,as one of the kobolds slipped into one of the incubation vets, and destroyed the research, but creating something new! combining the horrid appearance of the orcs, with the malevolence of the kobolds.

thus came the goblins, who we now see as pests, as they attack our farms and steal our cattle. thankfuly, they're knowledge of techonology isnt a grand as their kobold creators.

-------

My love, why does the war wage?

[Obesesniper93]

My love, why does the war wage?

Because the greed of men and the chaotic Nature of the Tiefling will fuel their rivalry on this land until were all dead.

------------------------------

Brother, where did the Orcs go?

[RazDelacroix]

Brother, where did the Orcs go?

Well, if you would look over that hill yonder, you'll see a whole lot of them heading northward. Something about some relic-city-throne-thing hidden in the peaks of the Ever Red Ice mountain. They really did not want to talk to ME about it, but... Oh hey one of them orcs is a girl... Okay lil bro, time for you to become a MAN! Go adventuring! First quest, get that girl to a festival! Then, when spring comes go make some half-orc kids for Mom to spoil!

Or you can just follow them to Ever Red Ice and see what's there. Your call.



"Oh Elder of the Chronicle Wall, how did the Ever Red Ice come to be what it is?"

[jqavins]

Oh Elder of the Chronicle Wall, how did the Ever Red Ice come to be what it is?
Once the mountains were warm and green. See here on the wall, long long ago, how the mountain has trees? And then the dwarves found gold under the ground, and the elves found magic in the trees. At first, these only brought more joy to the mountain, for gold delights dwarves, and magic elves; and humans, orcs, halflings, goblins, and many others came to the mountains to trade for the gold and the magic, which made everybody prosperous and happy.

Oh, but joy soon gave way to greed, as so often happens in the world. The dwarves wanted more and more mines, disrupting the elves' groves. And the mountain turned chill. And the elves used magic to make the groves grow larger until their roots wrecked the dwarves' mines. And the mountain became cold. Humans, hungry for the dwarves' gold, would at once help defend the mines against the elves and also steal the gold for themselves. Colder grew the mountain, and the rocky places were sprinkled with blood. The goblins - well, I'm sure you can guess - they coveted the elves' magic, so they acted much like the humans, both defending the elves and stealing from them. And snow fell in the groves, where snow had never been known, and the snow was red with the blood of many races. The war is on the wall, just here.

For centuries war raged, snow fell, and blood flowed. In time, all the magical groves and dazzling mines were gone, but the wars raged on, driven only by hate. The snow and the blood fell, and froze, and stayed. And still wars are fought on the mountain today.

Here you see the mountain painted on the wall, covered in red ice. So it has been for years beyond memory (which is why it must be recorded on the wall) and so it will stay. Forever? Perhaps. Perhaps only until something can bring back the joy of those rich, fertile early times. But who can dig mines though frozen blood, and what will grow in it? I think it will be a very very long time before there is any answer to that question.
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Grandpa, I know how the sun goes out at night while it's flying from the west to the east, and I know that the stars fall because they lose their grip on the sky. But what are the stars, anyhow?

[Belac93]

They are the oldest of the old gods, child. They did their work long ago, and now they have their fun flying around the world, forever.

Grandfather, why do the undead hate us?

[jqavins]

Grandfather, why do the undead hate us?
Because they are jealous of us. Being only half alive they are jealous of the fully living.

Grandma, where do the Northern Lights come from?