Maerok's Poetry at deviantART! (and this forum, by special request)

[Maerok]

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[Maerok]

What? No community support for an aspiring artist? :smallamused:

[PhoeKun]

I will not condone the use of deviantArt. If you want comments, post them here. :smallamused:

[Maerok]

X_X For you PhoeKun, sure. :smallbiggrin:

Here are my two ice-breaker ones, with author's comments, copied from the 'devil site'. I had one planned for release today but I had a dinner to go to, so expect it tomorrow if anyone takes interest in my style - "Fast: A Tradition".

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My Style? The Beginning of Pwned101
Journal Entry: Wed Jul 18, 2007, 8:22 PM
When I write, I favor the supernatural and macabre genre of fantasy. I'd like to describe it as Victorian/Romanticist, along the lines of Shelley, due to the overall thematics and the intensive diction of some of my stories (such as City of Light, which I admit could get a little dense :D ). My major sources of inspiration are Poe, Lovecraft, anti-transcendentalists, and philosophers.

I originally started a few years ago looking to write short stories and novels, and I've done quite a bit of that, but poetry seems to be more in my format; I do not really have the focus for a long literary work because I end up wanting to finish them and move onto the next interesting idea before I can actually, well, finish them. Brief(er) poetry allows me to encompass all that I want to say and do in a concentrated form where I do not have to worry about maintaining that style and message throughout many pages in prose when it could be said better and more forcefully with concise and jabbing poetry.

My goal is to write at least two poems a week from now until forever (or then some). If I fail to do so, you may hit me with a stick.

This will be a project to test myself; I want to see progress through my works until I have achieved some sort of literary success; that'd be nice. :D I've won a few awards for some of my prose and poetry. Whether or not anyone particularly likes or dislikes my stuff is not as important as improving myself, but if you do have comments, I always *love* to talk about my work! Sadly, I never really get too. :(

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Upon a Paper

Hello again,
My creation.

Ah yes, you are but a figure
Conceived of the mind
And born of the pen.

To you,
To your world,
And to your peers,
I am a god.

‘Your’ world itself is wrapped
Around my finger;
A ring of existence or inexistence,
Whichever I desire, to crush
With just the slightest whim.

As the puppeteer,
I pull the strings of my choice,
Yet even the consequences are subject to my will.

Reality is fantasy,
Infinity is void,
Everything is as it seems,
Yet nothing is as it is.

Your choices are my desires,
As we are of each other.

A creator without a creation
Is but a creation of another.

But as I reside upon my world,
A product of mind and soul,
I reside as a fool;
For I myself am but a pawn,
A portion of a whole.

As you will learn just as I,
Every creator was created.
I feel the pull of their strings,
And soon you shall feel mine.
Will and whim have always been
Products of the ‘more divine’

And within your temporal ignorance,
I am envious of your bliss.

Author's Comments
Bow before me, NPC #31!!! This sort of poetry is another common theme of mine - the conjecture of characters in writing and theater. Who says a scripted character doesn't have a soul? Muahaha! In fact, I've been mulling over such a poem ever since I read Rosencrantz and Guildenstern: great stuff, Mr. Stoppard.

This was an earlier poem of mine, from two years ago as a sophomore in high school (I've graduated this year) for the school literary magazine. I wrote it while I was at the school's open house as I manned the Spanish table. Do not keep your hopes up on Spanish poetry; I learned it in high school to the highest level, but I still don't grasp the tangential nuances in its vocabulary. Portuguese, maybe. But I have to finish learning it... Power to my people! :D

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Prayer to the Wicker King

Heed my calls Wicker King, my Wicker King;
The stars and the moon shine ever so bright.
What splendid things shall my Wicker King bring?

Bearer of heroes, whose death do you sing?
Today is the day, tonight is the night…
Heed my calls Wicker King, my Wicker King.

Each dead eye burned down to a crimson ring,
Yet no grim spirit escapes your true sight.
What splendid things shall my Wicker King bring?

Keeper of souls, unleash the harrowing;
No ward, no shield – no hope – defies your might.
Heed my calls Wicker King, my Wicker King.

Effigy of straw, a forsaken thing,
Held by both souls and vines strung ever tight.
What splendid things shall my Wicker King bring?

I call forth harvest - wield that icy sting!
And when the deed is done, lay low fell sprite.
Heed my calls Wicker King, my Wicker King;
What splendid things shall my Wicker King bring?

Author's Comments
Ah, villanelle is perhaps my favorite poetry form. The sonnet scheme (not particularly the iambic pentameter, mind you!) is nice for getting a point across but villanelle is just more appealing to me; it has that effect like singing in a round (a la Row Row Your Boat) and I've always liked that flow of sound and rhyme.

This one was created a while ago, and I'm just testing the waters to see what you all think.

My goal here was to create a sort of macabre, floaty poem with a Halloween feel to it; I put a definite focus on making it ritualistic through the patterns and overall theme. I imagined the Wicker King as sort of the Thorn Elemental of Magic: The Gathering with a demonic touch.

What do you think about it?

[Maerok]

I will not condone the use of deviantArt. If you want comments, post them here. :smallamused:

And what is wrong with deviantArt?

[PhoeKun]

And what is wrong with deviantArt?

The vast majority of the people who use it.

[Maerok]

I'm a reformist. :smallbiggrin:

[Maerok]

Any comments, anyone?

[PhoeKun]

Any comments, anyone?

Sorry, I haven't meant to string you along. I just haven't had time to really sit down and comment, yet. I'll post something soon.

edit: hmmm...

Question: do you feel these poems to be representative of your current works?

[Maerok]

Representative? Hmm, well none of the stuff I've posted yet has won any sort of recognition, but these are a few of my common thematics (a bit of existentialism, maybe encroaching nihilism from time to time, mixed with dark romanticism, though I'm not trying to be explicitly 'goth' or 'emo'). I like to perform 'experiments' with words from time to time, in order to try something new and expand my repertoire. The first two are ones that have gone through several phases of drafting, but the third (any fourth, on DA) are rather raw for now; I plan to redo them overtime, in place of making up an entirely new one every Tuesday and Friday, when I lack the proper mood.

[Magioth]

its an unoriginal concept but you gave presented it well. there was too repetition. I liked it :)

EDIT: the first poem i mean

[PhoeKun]

Er... not quite the answer I was looking for. My fault; poorly worded.

If you were setting up some sort of official exhibit, where all of the literary world would look at your poems and say "So this is Maerok..." while no doubt stroking their beards in a scholarly fashion... would these be the poems you chose to put up? Is this your true, poetic splendor, or merely the warm up act? In still other words: are there any newer pieces you feel show off your skill and/or progress as a poet, or are these older works the stronger stuff?

Sorry, but you gave me author notes. Now that the pieces carry that taint, I need a bit more perspective before I can really go full tilt here...

[Maerok]

its an unoriginal concept but you gave presented it well. there was too repetition. I liked it :)

EDIT: the first poem i mean

Yay. Of course it's unoriginal. :smallbiggrin: I had written that about a year ago for a literature magazine at my school and I like that sort of theme. I'd like to expand the topic a bit later on; there's a sort of poem I want to write but I don't know how to get there yet.

@PhoeKun: I'll post some more of my older works here, to serve as a more definitive example (though I do expect to improve drastically). These are from the last year (copied from a compilation I had made). I'll add these to DA for the sake of completeness...

What I am trying to accomplish here is to display where I am coming from now as I go on to becoming more prolific. I've never really faced any criticism before with my writing, and I'm sure you guys would be more apt to provide some due to a lack of knowing one another.

*These have all be added to DA. As of this edit.

Requiem for an English Assignment (2007)
(Mostly iambic pentameter sonnet but there were some parts I would not allow to be crunched into the framework; I won $20 to Borders and got to recite this one of public access TV. Technically, I am an award-winning poet. :smallcool:)

Heartfelt sorrow for you words I have slain.
‘Twas not choice but force that brought your demise;
I’ve acted as Judas and I’m sorry to contain
That which must roam, as far as I surmise.

Sinuous silhouettes of euphony
Have been woven, entangled, with onerous rapport,
Amidst collisions of cacophony-
Hollow shells of meaning oft held before.

Your souls laid low ‘cross an ivory sheet,
By the flensing of your apt purpose
And assertion of décor far too sweet.
Thus you suffer on ‘til honest repose.

Promethean plight, never made lighter,
All for the survival of the writer.

Freedom from Obligation (2007)
(NOTE TO SELF: Always explain poem to girlfriend before giving it to her for her to review. :smalleek:)

To whom it may concern:
Allow my words to be most brief-
Conflict of interest can’t be spurn-
Let me spare us the grief.

We’ve had our share of pure good time-
The little things in life-
Which makes it all sublime:
Things to cherish amidst this strife.

Might I mention the bad?
The difficulties and hardships:
All the guilt that we’ve had.
Alas! Upon my heart it rips.

When push comes to shove, you may see,
‘Tis human nature this:
If you’re not with me, you’re ‘gainst me:
And ‘tis you I will miss.

You’ll forgive, I know you will-
Dearest Conscience, lie thee still.

Response to the Sublime (2007)

Can God be captured in one word?
In two, or three, or four?
Could we e’en comprehend?
Can the mortal tongue – how absurd!-
Translate an idea divine?
Futile, don’t You agree?
Perhaps there’s something I can’t see.
Would You please give me a sign?

One Rose (2007)
Small rose, white rose.
Fresh rose, jade rose.
True rose, red rose.
New rose, pink rose.
Old rose, gray rose.
Dead rose, black rose.

Ad Absurdum (2007)
World in flux,
Rise and fall;
Seasons spinning,
Ups and downs.

Chaotic, chaotic,
Is the uncertain world;
Permanency forbidden
By nature itself.

The cyclic soul
Is never foretold
Of matters gone awry
And acts ever bold.

Entropy, probability,
And random chance
Conspire as villains
To scour stability.

Cherished is the thing
That’s bound ever tight;
Vain is the keeping
Of what will take flight.

[Maerok]

I've still been adding content (and usually making up for most of the days I've missed due to college stuff).

[MrEdwardNigma]

Good stuff, really good stuff.

[The Neoclassic]

I do rather like "Requiem for an English Assignment." It's ever-so-slightly too flowery for my tastes, but I am in no position to talk considering my skills at poetry. I'm not sure if you were looking for a more in-depth look, more than "I liked it", so feel free to ignore my next comments if that's the case.

(This is all on the poem I mentioned above, by the way). Third line: If you can still get the same rhythm/number of syllables you need, I'd say reduce "I've acted as Judas" to a more direct metaphor. The similie is fine, but a more direct figure of speech could be more powerful. The imagery in the third stanza is particularly pleasing; the soft but slightly sterile of the "ivory sheet" is sharply and cleanly contrasted by the unpleasant feel of "flensing."

I have to go to class now, but I may come back and look at these again later. Good work.