What is the Most Pathetic Clickbait Ever? [Archive]

8BitNinja

2017-01-16, 12:28 AM

The thread title says everything. What is the saddest and most stupid attempt to make you get your computer loaded with malware and/or show you to a useless website?

The example I have for the start was one I found on a site that I use to watch anime. The advertisement said something along the lines of "This is an MMO for Adults Only and is Really Not Good for Children Because of it's Sex Stuff". Okay, that might not be what it said, but something along those lines. While I don't have the picture of it, the sad part comes from the fact that the picture was of The Bannered Mare from Skyrim. But I guess it might've been convincing if you have never seen anything about Skyrim.

Ninja_Prawn

2017-01-16, 01:53 PM

What is the Most Pathetic Clickbait Ever?

This thread? :smalltongue:

Asmodean_

2017-01-16, 02:14 PM

What is the Most Pathetic Clickbait Ever?

This thread? :smalltongue:

You won't believe #7!

Inevitability

2017-01-16, 03:37 PM

What you're describing sounds a lot like Evony. Even if it's not, I think it counts.

Hamste

2017-01-16, 03:56 PM

IS THIS THE NEXT GTA? (AMAZING FROG? GONE SEXUAL?)

From a Hatfilms video done as a joke about how people were complaining about their click baity titles.

Maquise

2017-01-16, 05:14 PM

I'm going to second the whole Evony debacle. Still brings a chuckle to me.

8BitNinja

2017-01-16, 05:45 PM

warty goblin

2017-01-16, 11:03 PM

Another sad one that was going for that "too sexy for credible sites" I saw (which are some of the saddest ones. Also, why do I encounter so many of these?) was one that said "Game of Thrones is not the Only Show With the Most Nudity"

If you just read the title, it should be enough to facepalm.

Being absurdly technical, two shows could have the most nudity if they had exactly the same amount, and no other show had more.

Inevitability

2017-01-17, 01:45 AM

Being absurdly technical, two shows could have the most nudity if they had exactly the same amount, and no other show had more.

What do you measure nudity in, anyway? Average percentage of skin exposed? Duration of states of total undress?

Ninja_Prawn

2017-01-17, 03:15 AM

What do you measure nudity in, anyway? Average percentage of skin exposed? Duration of states of total undress?

Micronipples per second. But you have to factor in the Outrage Constant, which varies depending on your region code. That's how you end up with multiple shows at the top of the table.

SaintRidley

2017-01-17, 04:39 PM

This thread? :smalltongue:

Female Protagonists. Who cares?

Douglas

2017-01-17, 05:27 PM

What you're describing sounds a lot like Evony. Even if it's not, I think it counts.

I'm going to second the whole Evony debacle. Still brings a chuckle to me.
Heh, I remember that one, it definitely counts. I'm not going to link directly to it, but if you search for Evony ads there's a site that has their descent into utter ludicrousness chronicled for posterity.

AvatarVecna

2017-01-17, 05:46 PM

"Optimized Sorcerer vs Optimized Wizard: SORCERER SUPREME!!!!!!!!!"

A little specific to this forum (even a particular sub-forum), but I think it counted while it lasted...

8BitNinja

2017-01-17, 07:05 PM

Female Protagonists. Who cares?

Hey! You got that all wrong! Don't say stuff like that!

The correct way to write it Female Protagonists: Who Cares?

:smalltongue:

8BitNinja

2017-01-17, 07:07 PM

What do you measure nudity in, anyway? Average percentage of skin exposed? Duration of states of total undress?

Depends on who you ask. If you ask the Amish, they will probably say something like "exposure of elbows"

tomandtish

2017-01-18, 06:32 PM

gooddragon1

2017-01-18, 06:38 PM

An image of a person from a demographic shaking a check left and right.

8BitNinja

2017-01-18, 07:41 PM

One from a game called League of Angels is borderline illegal. I've seen some and they straight up plagiarize from other games. A few I've seen plagiarized from League of Legends and Overwatch.

Anonymouswizard

2017-01-19, 07:37 AM

Trump's leaked IQ shocks nation.

She has no idea why the crowd was cheering.

No, I didn't click on either of them.

I do remember the old Evony adverts, and do occasionally see the League of Angels ones. IIRC they ranged from 'ignorable' to 'utterly pathetic'.

Inevitability

2017-01-19, 10:58 AM

"What (insert attractive celebrity from the 80s) Looks Like Now is INSANE"!

They may or may not have the celebrity that was named in the link in their list of 15-20. And the "insane" part is apparently that they ... aged?

Relevant PA (https://www.penny-arcade.com/comic/2017/01/06/the-ravages-of-time).

Bit of a warning; while this particular page is profanity-free a fair number of comics aren't.

Strigon

2017-01-19, 10:59 AM

Heh, I remember that one, it definitely counts. I'm not going to link directly to it, but if you search for Evony ads there's a site that has their descent into utter ludicrousness chronicled for posterity.

All right, you've piqued my curiosity; I'm going in.
And I'm ashamed to say it's going to be on my browser history forever.

Edit:
What does it say to me that I'm more distressed by the cringey "my lord" talk than by the state of undress?

gooddragon1

2017-01-19, 04:45 PM

There's actually this one weird trick that people with no speeding tickets in at least 3 years use to change the mortgage on their house. They blind the realtor with a flashlight so bright that it should be illegal just before they sign the contract and switch it with another one. When they see what they signed, they will freak.

Videkus

2017-01-19, 04:58 PM

9/10 people fail this test!

The Succubus

2017-01-19, 05:45 PM

Eh. Click here. If you like. Or not, it's all the same to me.

Ninja_Prawn

2017-01-19, 05:49 PM

8BitNinja

2017-01-19, 06:04 PM

All right, you've piqued my curiosity; I'm going in.
And I'm ashamed to say it's going to be on my browser history forever.

you just have to incognito that stuff

Strigon

2017-01-19, 06:52 PM

you just have to incognito that stuff

Really, it was a borderline case and I was feeling lazy.
Chances are, nobody's gonna look through my history. Chances are, if anyone does, they won't notice it. Chances are, if they do, they won't know what the game is, and if they do know what the game is, I can just show them this thread.

gooddragon1

2017-01-19, 06:53 PM

you just have to incognito that stuff

Wait, you mean if you delete your browsing history it is still kept?

Douglas

2017-01-19, 07:11 PM

Edit:
What does it say to me that I'm more distressed by the cringey "my lord" talk than by the state of undress?
Hey, at least the "my lord" verbiage has something to do with the game - in the context of the game, the player is a lord (I think).

Strigon

2017-01-19, 08:24 PM

Hey, at least the "my lord" verbiage has something to do with the game - in the context of the game, the player is a lord (I think).

Yeah, you're not wrong.
If I remember correctly, it even predates the women in the ads. But something about having a woman in a state of undress using that phrase makes it seem 100 times creepier to me.

8BitNinja

2017-01-20, 08:13 PM

Hey, at least the "my lord" verbiage has something to do with the game - in the context of the game, the player is a lord (I think).

But it's still clickbait, my lord

An Enemy Spy

2017-01-20, 08:33 PM

I think one of the stupidest clickbaits I've ever seen was Pokemon Go: The Desktop Version!

I can't imagine how you would play that game.

Domino Quartz

2017-01-20, 09:10 PM

Recently, I've been seeing something similar to those Evony ads around the internet. It's basically "Look! A scantily-clad sexy anime girl in a provocative pose! Oh yeah, and play our game, it's called Blade of the Queen." with the logo for the game at a small size in the corner of the banner.

8BitNinja

2017-01-20, 09:43 PM

I think one of the stupidest clickbaits I've ever seen was Pokemon Go: The Desktop Version!

I can't imagine how you would play that game.

That's like playing the knife game from Aliens without hands.

One I saw that I always thought was funny was "Sexy [very specific nationality] singles just waiting to talk to you." The fact that there are people who fall for this makes me sad

Anonymouswizard

2017-01-21, 03:28 AM

One I saw that I always thought was funny was "Sexy [very specific nationality] singles just waiting to talk to you." The fact that there are people who fall for this makes me sad

The ones I always see are Russian and Chinese. The last are always funny, because I've met young Chinese women and the pictures used look nothing like them.

Anime sites tend to be the worst, I've previously had four adverts all some variety of 'Asians want to implied practice the erotic art skill/talk to you' under one video. It's half the reason I switched to watching legitimately if possible.

8BitNinja

2017-01-21, 11:27 AM

Another few I have seen are actually on YouTube. They're always "Play Minecraft/Five Nights at Freddy's/CS:GO for FREE." The thing is that the pictures are obvious Source Filmmaker ripoffs of the actual game. The CS:GO one didn't even rip off the easy to find promotional art for the game. They just took the stupidest faces of the game (The facial textures for the Israeli Defense Forces and the Balkans are somewhat infamous for their looks) and said "this looks somewhat credible."

Gaurdian_Angel1

2017-02-17, 08:35 PM

Why Hillary clinton has not been using social media will shock you!!

It's because she lost the election.

lio45

2017-02-17, 11:12 PM

One I saw that I always thought was funny was "Sexy [very specific nationality] singles just waiting to talk to you." The fact that there are people who fall for this makes me sad

What really makes me laugh is "This single mom from [your city, based on your IP] is making $xx,xxx per day thanks to this trick!" with her picture...

... the thing is, I split my time between three different cities that are a few hours away from each other, and I get the same picture of the same single mom in each of the three, making the same amount, but she's always from the city I'm in, according to the ad! Riiiiiiiight...

Vinyadan

2017-02-18, 11:19 AM

15 Headlines You Will Not Believe Someone Thought Would Interest You! Number 10 Is So Pathetic!

8BitNinja

2017-02-18, 11:00 PM

What really makes me laugh is "This single mom from [your city, based on your IP] is making $xx,xxx per day thanks to this trick!" with her picture...

... the thing is, I split my time between three different cities that are a few hours away from each other, and I get the same picture of the same single mom in each of the three, making the same amount, but she's always from the city I'm in, according to the ad! Riiiiiiiight...

I see ones like these a lot

Lappy9001

2017-02-20, 01:51 AM

31 Weird Tractors That Make NO Sense! You Won't BELIEVE Number 11!!!

neriractor

2017-02-20, 05:40 AM

This thread? :smalltongue:

I swear the, the second I saw the title of the thread this is exactly what I thought, really impressed that I was beat to it on the first post :smallbiggrin:

-Sentinel-

2017-02-20, 12:23 PM

Of all the bad clickbait titles I've ever seen, the one that took the cake was for an article featuring pictures of famous adult film actresses when they were teens.

"Oh, I love this porn star, but she's too old at 22! I want to jerk off to a 15-year-old version of her."

So gross. :smallyuk:

8BitNinja

2017-02-20, 02:56 PM

"Oh, I love this porn star, but she's too old at 22! I want to jerk off to a 15-year-old version of her."

Do you hear that sound, article creator?

That's the sound of the FBI ringing your doorbell.

Xyril

2017-02-22, 01:57 PM

"You Won't Believe Why Hollywood Won't Cast [Actor/Actress] Anymore"

You expect some sensational, controversial reasons, and invariably they're just due to circumstances that are obscure because they're so darn reasonable.

I'm still waiting for

1. He's incredibly hard to find--sources close to him say that it's as if he's been hiding underground since the 1960's.
2. He never returns phone calls.
3. His acting has suffered--directors who recently worked with him claim that his acting is incredibly stiff and he's completely unresponsive to direction or criticism.
4. He's lost his signature good looks.
5. It's difficult to cast costars--most actresses absolutely refuse to do love scenes with him anymore.

Inevitability

2017-03-04, 10:00 AM

8BitNinja

2017-03-04, 12:35 PM

Obama's new law will ruin you. Find out what you can do!

One problem, Mr. Ad

Barrack Obama is no longer president of the United States

junlogji

2017-03-04, 12:37 PM

The thread title says everything. What is the saddest and most stupid attempt to make you get your computer loaded with malware and/or show you to a useless website?

two sentences in and i already see a major contradiction

8BitNinja

2017-03-05, 01:51 PM

two sentences in and i already see a major contradiction

No, not literally. I was just saying that the title was self explanatory.

junlogji

2017-03-05, 02:01 PM

That's like playing the knife game from Aliens without hands.

One I saw that I always thought was funny was "Sexy [very specific nationality] singles just waiting to talk to you." The fact that there are people who fall for this makes me sad

http://orig08.deviantart.net/9095/f/2014/363/2/b/rainbow_dash_meets_her_match_by_tiredbrony-d8bo0o2.gif

No, not literally. I was just saying that the title was self explanatory.

"What is the saddest and most stupid attempt to make you get your computer loaded with malware and/or show you to a useless website?"

believe it or not

that is not the sole type of clickbait

2D8HP

2017-03-05, 10:21 PM

...I'm still waiting for

1. He's incredibly hard to find--sources close to him say that it's as if he's been hiding underground since the 1960's.
2. He never returns phone calls.
3. His acting has suffered--directors who recently worked with him claim that his acting is incredibly stiff and he's completely unresponsive to direction or criticism.
4. He's lost his signature good looks.
5. It's difficult to cast costars--most actresses absolutely refuse to do love scenes with him anymore.

My grandfather told me repeatedly that in the 1930's he worked as Errol Flynn's airplane mechanic and that "we worked on his plane all night together", and "he was a good Joe", he also said that, "his wife was a snob, a real sourpus".

8BitNinja

2017-03-07, 06:39 PM

My grandfather told me repeatedly that in the 1930's he worked as Errol Flynn's airplane mechanic and that "we worked on his plane all night together", and "he was a good Joe", he also said that, "his wife was a snob, a real sourpus".

That sounds pretty cool. I wish I had a grandpa that worked for a celebrity.

Oh wait, I do actually.

This post reminds me that my grandpa once worked as stage security for The Beach Boys once. Apparently, it's really hard to keep hundreds of screaming fangirls off of a stage, especially since you're not exactly allowed to use force on teenage girls. I have no idea how he did it, but apparently he did and got paid decently from it.