PDA

View Full Version : Any way to get a player to be more serious?



PhantomVector
2017-01-26, 01:14 PM
So I'm pretty new to DnD mostly because I haven't really found a group yet that plays in my area. But I've been on and off for a while now. But it ends up with me not being sure how to handle this, or perhaps not being able to understand if I'm overreacting.

On to the title question, recently I've got a few good friends together who were interested in playing and said I'd DM for them. The problem is one of them while interested, isn't...very serious, like at all. We usually get along alright but having spent at this point a couple weeks working on this campaign I've gotten a little...Peeved at him about how he makes doesn't seem to well take anything really seriously. Like he wanted to be a doomsday prepper or batman when I asked him what kind of character he wanted to play. Before he settled for a Robin Hood type character. Feels like he is disrespecting the time I've put in to try and make an interesting campaign and world. I realize stuff can go off the rails pretty quick but I as I said it just felt disrepesctful at the time. The campaign isn't going to be deadly serious 24/7 but there is a general storyline to follow.

Am I just overreacting? If not, or if it actually becomes a problem what should I do? I don't want to kick him out, not mention were all good friends and I don't know how well that would fly. I've talked to him a little and explained that it felt like he was disrespecting me and he's sobered up a bit but I'm just at a bit of a lost at what to do if it continues.

Is there anyway to engage him IC before having to pull him aside or worse be forced to either kick him out, or shut the game down?

Beans
2017-01-26, 01:19 PM
If it happens again, definitely talk ooc. Ask him why he's acting this way and, if you haven't already, let him know it makes you unhappy. Maybe he came in with expectations rather different from what your intended experience is.

Darth Ultron
2017-01-26, 01:27 PM
Is there anyway to engage him IC before having to pull him aside or worse be forced to either kick him out, or shut the game down?

It's possible, sure, to make the game SO interesting to the player that they get serious. Though you will often need to have the whole game world revolve around the character and really, really make the whole game about the one player. It might be worth it to have a good game....or not.

A fairly good way to handle this is to mostly ignore any dumb ''funny'' stuff the player does and make it not matter. No matter what they do, just have nothing happen at all. And the game goes on with no interruptions.

You can also ''make the game more funny'' too....

PhantomVector
2017-01-26, 01:28 PM
We've talked a bit I explained for this one, both because no one but me and another friend have had any experience in DnD or table top that I wanted it to be somewhat linear and serious so I could work on adding free form stuff later on, and have some structure for them to build upon. So we could all slowly get used to using more free form elements.

dps
2017-01-26, 04:02 PM
I don't think that there's enough detail about exactly what he's doing that annoys you to tell if you're over-reacting or not. And there could be a dozen different reasons he's not taking things seriously, ranging form he doesn't find the campaign you've set forward interesting enough to take seriously, to he's the kind of player who deliberately tries to derail campaigns, to he simply likes his games light-hearted.

Segev
2017-01-26, 04:03 PM
A fairly good way to handle this is to mostly ignore any dumb ''funny'' stuff the player does and make it not matter. No matter what they do, just have nothing happen at all. And the game goes on with no interruptions.

You can also ''make the game more funny'' too....

This is actually decent advice, though I actually recommend simply talking to him OOC about it, without waiting for it to happen again. It's bothering you. So don't let it fester. Let him know it's bothering you before you let it build into him "doing it on purpose" and making you out-and-out mad.

Talk to him about the tone of the game, and about specific things that bug you. Let him give feedback, as well, as to how you might adjust things to make it feel more serious to him. But attitude is more in his court than yours, in this case.

So...ask him to tone it down. To help you set the mood the way you want it. If he can't or won't, this may not be the game for him.

Jay R
2017-01-26, 06:50 PM
Feels like he is disrespecting the time I've put in to try and make an interesting campaign and world. I realize stuff can go off the rails pretty quick but I as I said it just felt disrepesctful at the time.

It's not. He not not interested in your campaign enough to have any respect or disrespect for it. He's just not focused on it.

Don't try to make it personal. It's not about you; it's about him.

Maglubiyet
2017-01-26, 07:24 PM
It's not. He not not interested in your campaign enough to have any respect or disrespect for it. He's just not focused on it.

Don't try to make it personal. It's not about you; it's about him.

If it's his first time roleplaying he may be uncomfortable. It's possible that reacting with humor/goofiness is his way of coping with feeling nervous.

Knaight
2017-01-26, 07:30 PM
Some people just have more fun with RPGs taking them less seriously - and that includes some GMs who still put heavy planning time into their games, so this isn't just a matter of time put into the game. I can pretty much guarantee that this isn't a matter of disrespecting the game, and that it's almost certainly not even seen as clashing. So, if possible, work around it. You've got an odd character in a serious setting, but odd people can easily be a part of serious works, including non-fiction. If it's not tenable at all, just ask them to tone it down a bit or find a different, more serious-game conducive wacky character.

Green Elf
2017-01-26, 07:56 PM
Listen to the advice you were just given. And.... This may sound weird but maybe have a small ffrp game, 1 on 1 to teach him to RP better.

PhantomVector
2017-01-27, 09:24 AM
Thanks for the advice guys. As I said I was probably over reacting a bit. If it becomes disruptive I'll talk to him out of the game.

obryn
2017-01-27, 09:56 AM
Just remember, somewhere off in the great void of the internet, a player is writing a post, "Any way to get my DM to lighten up a little?" :smallsmile:

Segev
2017-01-27, 10:02 AM
Thanks for the advice guys. As I said I was probably over reacting a bit. If it becomes disruptive I'll talk to him out of the game.

I'd not wait for it to become disruptive. If it isn't yet disruptive, address it as not-yet-disruptive, but do bring up your concerns. Ask him now to help you build and preserve the tone you want for the game, before it becomes a problem and hard feelings start to develop.

In fact, I'd suggest approaching him about it as asking for his help with the game's tone. While you CAN bring up things he's done "wrong" in that respect, you might get more mileage out of not doing so, but instead asking him for help. Outline the tone you want. Voice your concerns that it's not quite hitting that note, and ask if he has any ideas how to get closer to it. Ask him for help in how he plays his character.

He might realize you're asking him to tone it down, but if you don't get accusatory, he's less likely to get defensive. That doesn't mean you can't point out problems if it comes up. In fact, you shouldn't avoid doing so if they come up. But try to do it without making it sound like he's "wrong." Because right now, he's not doing anything "wrong" because he doesn't know it's inappropriate for your game.

PhantomVector
2017-01-27, 11:13 AM
Just remember, somewhere off in the great void of the internet, a player is writing a post, "Any way to get my DM to lighten up a little?" :smallsmile:

Ha good point. As I mentioned in the opening this is my first real foray into DMing. So I kind of want the start to be a bit more structured both for my sake, so I can get a feel for DMing and for the new players so I can better explain the basic mechanics of the game. Sort of like a tutorial level in a video game.

Aetis
2017-01-27, 11:27 AM
Keep in mind that maybe he doesn't want to play?

Ask him whether he's having fun playing D&D, and tell him it's cool if he'd rather do something else.

PhantomVector
2017-01-27, 11:36 AM
Keep in mind that maybe he doesn't want to play?

Ask him whether he's having fun playing D&D, and tell him it's cool if he'd rather do something else.

Lol he was the first to sign up :3 and this would be his first time playing the first game is this Saturday :).

Having some time to think on it, it's probably the stress talking, I don't really know DnD lore well enough nor do I have access to any of the premade campaigns so I've been trying to make my own, while helping 4 new players make character sheets for the first time lol. I forgot how frustrating it was trying to make a character with all the numbers n stuff lol.

Segev
2017-01-27, 11:38 AM
this would be his first time playing the first game is this Saturday :).


Oh, so this non-seriousness is out of game chatter before the game has even run? That makes this easy: open the first session but discussing the tone you want to set, and then ask the players all to help you set it. Then do your best to establish it in your opening narration. (This is not an easy skill, as you don't want to wax purple in your prose, nor go on too long. Which is why asking the players to help you set it is important.)

PhantomVector
2017-01-27, 12:25 PM
Oh, so this non-seriousness is out of game chatter before the game has even run? That makes this easy: open the first session but discussing the tone you want to set, and then ask the players all to help you set it. Then do your best to establish it in your opening narration. (This is not an easy skill, as you don't want to wax purple in your prose, nor go on too long. Which is why asking the players to help you set it is important.)

Sounds tricky :3 I'll try it though.

KillianHawkeye
2017-01-29, 12:45 AM
One thing that's kind of important to remember is that a lot of first time roleplayers lack knowledge of the background and context of a typical D&D fantasy setting. They might've seen Lord of the Rings or played one of the older Final Fantasy games, but they still mostly have to draw on their knowledge of other media in order to come up with ideas. They might not know which modern concepts are suitable for the game and which are not.

HidesHisEyes
2017-01-29, 05:33 PM
If it's his first time roleplaying he may be uncomfortable. It's possible that reacting with humor/goofiness is his way of coping with feeling nervous.

That would be my guess too. In my experience lots of people playing an RPG for the first time will goof around because they feel self-conscious or aren't really sure how it all works, but are determined to have fun. My advice would be to give it time, accept that it will be a bit of a rocky road to start with but wait for the group to find a groove and see what kind of gamer this guy becomes. Also, try and get hold of a premade module to run if at all possible. There are lots of free or very cheap ones on DMs Guild.