PDA

View Full Version : 1001 Crazy Cohorts



TheWarBlade
2007-07-20, 04:51 PM
Often mistreated, foregotten and killed cohorts still hold a special place in my heart.:smallredface:

1. A halfling chef
2. An Oathbound dwarf
3. The mule.
4. That bard who wont take a hint
5. PC's brother

mostlyharmful
2007-07-20, 04:57 PM
6. the ships boy,
7. the ships boy maning a HUGE crossbow
8. the ships boy taking on six pirates simulatiously
9. Any teenager who takes on pirate gallleyeis with greek fire and billhooks while still being an NPC

Glyphic
2007-07-20, 05:00 PM
10: Carrion, the carrion crawler that was following the party (apparently we kept it well fed)

tahu88810
2007-07-20, 05:01 PM
11. The LE half-orc fallen paladin. (he was fun, every time he saw a good cleric/paladin he would scream 'RAWR ME SMASH' and rush 'em nomatter what anybody did to stop them...he hated them, so...)

SurlySeraph
2007-07-20, 05:06 PM
12. The awakened squirrel druid. Everyone should at some point be in a game involving an awakened squirrel.
13. The delusional CN fighter who thinks he would make a good paladin.
14. The warforged cleric named Healbot.

Mike_Lemmer
2007-07-20, 05:15 PM
15. The psychologist interrogator. Left our enemies crying using only words. Spent downtime telling us precisely how crazy we are.

TheWarBlade
2007-07-20, 05:19 PM
16. The monk with Vow of Poverty, telling us just how greedy we are.

Jack_Banzai
2007-07-20, 05:25 PM
17. The goblin who will do pretty much anything (within reason) for 10 gold pieces.

18. The elven fighter, Fondle, who will drop out of the air (or appear in one's bag of holding) to help in difficult fights when in an undersized party.

19. Sir Prance-A-Lot, mighty paladin who wields his longsword, Longest, and sometimes a +1 longsword, Longer than Longest.

20. Sir Van de Kamper, who will dive out of a crow's nest for no particular reason at any opportunity.

21. Farmer Bob, an ordinary farmer who is given a +5 longsword and made to adventure by a party of 20th level plus characters.

JackMage666
2007-07-20, 05:41 PM
22. The awaken rat Beguiler

23. The drunken dwarf X (it doesn't matter what he does)

24. Any Extraplanar creature, who doesn't know what's going on.

AngryRussian16
2007-07-20, 05:54 PM
25. Sir Vivor, the knight who hates jokes about his name

26. Random Scarred Barkeep, the tavern owner with a massive burn scar from when a PC's idiot shows up

nows7
2007-07-20, 05:58 PM
27) Awakened Gelatanous Ooze Bard - Max ranks in Preform (Jiggle)

Drider
2007-07-20, 06:48 PM
28. a family of thri-kreen fighters (variant:thug) who drive around in pimped out cars, and shoot monsters

Driderman
2007-07-20, 06:52 PM
29: A complete and fully equipped NPC adventuring party

30: A group of drunken dwarven bards. Their music sounds horrible, but is oddly catchy. They call it 'rock'.

Saurous
2007-07-20, 07:02 PM
31. Awakened Badger Rogue. Please tell me something funnier than having your wallet stolen by a sentient badger.

Deme
2007-07-20, 09:00 PM
32. the zealous cleric who's convinced the celestial wizard is a sign from above, despite the fact that he was a normal wizard who got reincarnated as a celestial.

33. the young male druid who develops a secret crush on the male ranger, and gets his nose broken by the party barbarian every time his nose heals.

goat
2007-07-20, 09:16 PM
31. Awakened Badger Rogue. Please tell me something funnier than having your wallet stolen by a sentient badger.

Badgers should always be Barbarians.

They should be highly charismatic, so that everyone thinks they're cute and fluffy, and then they should suddenly change (when raging) and rip a throat out.

DSCrankshaw
2007-07-20, 09:43 PM
Badgers should always be Barbarians.

They should be highly charismatic, so that everyone thinks they're cute and fluffy, and then they should suddenly change (when raging) and rip a throat out.
Badger's don't need levels of barbarian to rage. They get it as a special ability.

Superglucose
2007-07-21, 12:27 PM
34) The Paladin's cohort paladin who had a cohort paladin who had a cohort paladin... etc. etc. I don't know why my DM let me do this, but showing up with half a dozen paladins and their mounts sure was fun!

PlatinumJester
2007-07-21, 01:57 PM
35) The elf ranger whose parents were (wait for it) KILLED by orcs/drow/chickens and he is off trying to avenge them.

36) The greatsword wielding catfolk duelist.

37) The level 1 monk who thinks he should be the party's main melee combatant.

38) The undead Totemist without a Constitution score.

Ivius
2007-07-21, 07:40 PM
31. Awakened Badger Rogue. Please tell me something funnier than having your wallet stolen by a sentient badger.

Having it stolen by two sentient badgers.

Bagera
2007-07-21, 08:38 PM
39.The thrall herd with smaller thrall herds as his thralls which he refers to as his batteries.

40.The Living Prestidigitation

41.The Ghost of my last character.

Krimm_Blackleaf
2007-07-21, 09:08 PM
40.The Living Prestidigitation

I gave one of these to my party's wizard as a familiar.

42. A wiley, loudmouthed intelligent sword that no one ever believes is a sword, but in fact a clever use of ventrliquism.

Xuincherguixe
2007-07-21, 09:08 PM
43 Runs with Traffic, a Dog Shaman.
44 Talks with self, Shaman of as of yet unspecified Totem.
45 Orc Barbarian with a Death Wish, who fights with just a rusty spoon.

mockingbyrd7
2007-07-21, 09:45 PM
I've never heard of awakened, but I assume it's a sentient animal with class levels?

If that's the case...

46. Awakened Cat Swashbuckler named Puss In Boots

Akennedy
2007-07-21, 10:06 PM
47. A Human Rogue/fighter whom always carries a greatsword and reappears in all campaigns offering free cure light potions; also owner of Joe's Jumbo Jungle of Junk

Siric
2007-07-21, 10:20 PM
48. Frogo, the drug addicted mage, who was also an Alchemist.

Dareon
2007-07-22, 06:37 AM
49: A Factotum/Master of Masks that imitates all the previous (and following, in case you want to get silly) ideas.

Eldan
2007-07-22, 06:47 AM
50. The midget version of the Lawful Evil party wizard.

Pauwel
2007-07-22, 06:59 AM
51. The friendly ogre that dreams only of baking a pie the size of a galleon.
He was only really funny because he was the cohort of the party's Bard, who refused to play anything but the piano, and made the ogre carry him and the piano on his back all the time.

The Vorpal Tribble
2007-07-22, 07:27 AM
52. The kite eating tree
53. Animated pajamas
54. Stephen Hawkings
55. Meatloaf with 10 ranks in Perform (sing)
56. Tangled christmas lights golem
57. Smoky the Bugbear
58. Were-boar that can only speak in pig-latin
59. Swarm of beanie babies
60. Typhoid

Shas aia Toriia
2007-07-22, 08:00 AM
61. The evil villain, who realizes that your way is the right one, and sticks around with you, though you he just happens to lose access to magic items, minions, and cave of doom.

Leon
2007-07-22, 12:04 PM
Badger's don't need levels of barbarian to rage. They get it as a special ability.

Badger with Frenzied Berzerker Levels

Anxe
2007-07-22, 01:47 PM
62. The small talking rock with the attitude of a LA gangster.
63. The ghost of the bartender of the tavern where the adventurers first met up who now haunts them because they failed to tip him for the drinks.
64. The pair of hirelings whose previous job was gopher catching.
65. The Dragon who will breathe fire on the party's opponents if it is allowed to eat all the party's gold.

Hectonkhyres
2007-07-22, 08:39 PM
63. A tarrasque. The size of a hampster.
No matter how many times you drop kick the blasted thing, it keeps coming back.

Korias
2007-07-22, 08:43 PM
64. A Super Deformed Version of yourself.

FoxHush
2007-07-22, 08:50 PM
65. The owner of the ship your on but has no command over it..
66. The prince/princess with stockholm syndrome.

Matthew
2007-07-25, 10:47 PM
XX. Surely, Boo the Miniature Giant Space Hamster must not be forgotten!

Luircin
2007-07-26, 02:30 PM
67: The lawful anal monk who insists that you are HIS cohort.
68: The were-bull druid who can't be trusted around cattle.
69: Steve the Badger (Before he became known as Steve the Badger God)
70: The anarchist bard who tries to start a revolution in every city you visit and makes up songs mocking every authority figure she comes across.

mostlyharmful
2007-07-26, 02:40 PM
70: The anarchist bard who tries to start a revolution in every city you visit and makes up songs mocking every authority figure she comes across.

What are you talking about Cohort, that's one of my favorite characters.... it's the workers that control the means of production....:elan:

Luircin
2007-07-26, 05:40 PM
What are you talking about Cohort, that's one of my favorite characters.... it's the workers that control the means of production....:elan:

Yes, and the last time I played that character, she ended up as the patron deity of tricksters in the new pantheon at the end of an epic-level game. (It's fun to make a bard that can cast epic spells. Not optimized, but fun.)

Just saying that she'd be a colorful addition as a cohort. Bonus from optimized bardsong is too good to pass up, but you end up on the run from the law whenever you venture into civilization. Or something like that.