Favorite Spell if you slightly change the name?

[ChubbyRain]

Crackball
3rd-level evocation

Casting Time: 1 action
Range: 150 feet
Components: V, S, M (a tiny cocoa leaf)
Duration: Instantaneous

A bright streak flashes from your pointing finger to a point you choose within range and then blossoms with a low roar into an explosion of white powder. Each creature in a 20-foot-radius sphere centered on that point must make a Constitution saving throw. A target takes 8d6 poison damage on a failed save, or half as much damage on a successful one.

The crack spreads around corners. It effects creatures even if they don't need to breath (gets into their eyes). This causes all creatures and objects to be lightly coated in white powder.

At Higher Levels: When you cast this spell using a spell slot of 4th level or higher, the damage increases by 1d6 for each slot level above 3rd.

[Deleted]

Arcane Stye

Basically Arcane eye but everyone you look at for too long gets a stye.

[MasterMercury]

Lots of fun with the wish spell.

Wash
9th level spell capable of cleaning anything, from a Lich's soul to the barbarians loincloth.

[DragonSorcererX]

If we can get cheesy...

Annihillation Ball
3rd-level evocation

Casting Time: 1 action
Range: 150 feet
Components: V, S, M
Duration: Instantaneous

A dark streak flashes from your pointing linger to a point you choose within range and then expands silently into a sphere of void devouring everything within its reach. Each creature in a 20-foot-radius sphere centered on that point must make a Dexterity saving throw. A target takes 8d6 force damage on a failed save, or half as much damage on a successful one, it also deals double damage to objects and structures.

The void engulfs everything within its area, and ignores damage threshold from non-magical objects and structures.

At Higher Levels: When you cast this spell using a spell slot of 4th level or higher, the damage increases by 1d6 for each slot level above 3rd.

[pwykersotz]

Usain Bolt
3rd-level Evocation
Casting Time: 1 Action
Range: Self 100-Foot Line
Components: V,S,M (A Worn Tennis Shoe)
Duration: Instantaneous

The fastest man in the world materializes and runs in a line 100 feet long and 5 feet wide, sprinting out from you in a direction you choose. Each creature in the line must make a Dexterity saving throw. A creature takes 8d6 damage on a failed save, or half as much damage on a successful one. He carries the Olympic torch, which ignites flammable objects in the area that aren’t being worn or carried.
At Higher Levels. When you cast this spell using a spell slot of 4th level or higher, the damage increases by 1d6 for each slot level above 3rd.

[Sicarius Victis]

Slur
2nd-Level Enchantment

Casting Time: 1 Action
Range: 120 Feet
Components: V, S
Duration: 24 Hours

The target must attempt a Wisdom save. On a failure, they become unable to speak without insulting those they speak about. For the duration, they suffer disadvantage on all Charisma (Persuasion) checks, and other people suffer disdvantage on all Wisdom (Insight) checks to figure out whether what they're saying matches what they believe. In addition, whenever they cast a spell with a verbal component that targets another creature, that creature must succeed at a Wisdom save or immediately become hostile against the spell's original target. If this effect happens to a creature that is already hostile to them, they instead suffer disadvantage on all attack rolls against targets other than the spell's original target on a failed save.

At higher levels: When cast using a 4th-level slot, the target begins to use racist, sexist, or otherwise discriminatory insults. Everybody who hears the target cast a spell with a verbal component must attempt a Wisdom save or become hostile to them, and the target of the spell suffers disadvantage on their Wisdom save.

How about that?

[Fishyninja]

Usain Bolt
3rd-level Evocation
Casting Time: 1 Action
Range: Self 100-Foot Line
Components: V,S,M (A Worn Tennis Shoe)
Duration: Instantaneous

The fastest man in the world materializes and runs in a line 100 feet long and 5 feet wide, sprinting out from you in a direction you choose. Each creature in the line must make a Dexterity saving throw. A creature takes 8d6 damage on a failed save, or half as much damage on a successful one. He carries the Olympic torch, which ignites flammable objects in the area that aren’t being worn or carried.
At Higher Levels. When you cast this spell using a spell slot of 4th level or higher, the damage increases by 1d6 for each slot level above 3rd.

This is utterly amazing!

Tasha's Hideous Daughter

1st-level enchantment
Casting Time: 1 action
Range: 30 feet
Components: V, S, M (tiny tarts and a feather that is waved in the air)
Duration: Concentration, up to 1 minute

Upon casting this spell Tasha's Hideous Daughter Mildred appears and attempts to flirt with the enemy and they must make a Cha saving throw of 15, upon failing they must spend their next turn small talking with the daughter and also they are stunned at her hideous form.

[Pex]

Find Stud

2nd level conjuration
Casting time: 7 days
Range: Self
Components: V, S, M (a meatloaf)
Duration: Permanent

In just seven days make a man.

[The Ship's dog]

Finger of Meth

7th-level necromancy

Casting Time: 1 action

Range: 60 feet

Components: V, S

Duration: Instantaneous

You send the negative energy of crippling addiction to methamphetamines coursing through a creature that you can see within range, causing it searing pain because methamphetamine has not yet been invented.

The target must make a Constitution saving throw. It takes 7d8 + 30 necrotic damage on a failed save, or half as much damage on a successful one.

A humanoid killed by this spell rises at the start of your next turn as an addict that is permanently under your command, following your verbal orders to the best of its ability to get 'that taste'.

[Samayu]

Drawmij's Instant Breakfast
1st level enchantment
VSM

Add a pinch of dried grain to water in a container. Produces enough porridge to feed nine people or three steeds for a day.

[pwykersotz]

Drawmij's Instant Breakfast
1st level enchantment
VSM

Add a pinch of dried grain to water in a container. Produces enough porridge to feed nine people or three steeds for a day.

I feel like this should be called "Drawmij's Instant Oatmeal" instead, but maybe that's just me.

[Potato_Priest]

Tasha's Hideous Daughter

1st-level enchantment
Casting Time: 1 action
Range: 30 feet
Components: V, S, M (tiny tarts and a feather that is waved in the air)
Duration: Concentration, up to 1 minute

Upon casting this spell Tasha's Hideous Daughter Mildred appears and attempts to flirt with the enemy and they must make a Cha saving throw of 15, upon failing they must spend their next turn small talking with the daughter and also they are stunned at her hideous form.

That is a beautiful spell that I simply must use. Shouldn't they be able to spend their action to attempt to politely extricate themselves from conversation, thereby gaining another saving throw? It is only a level 1 spell, after all.

Edit: Is there a reason you didn't make the saving throw tied to spellcaster DC?

[Potato_Priest]

Telemarket
7th Level Enchantment (Ritual)
Casting Time: One action
Range: Infinite
Components: V, M (A Poster advertising one of your products or services.)
Duration: One Round
You say a short statement advertising a product or service that you produce or offer. Choose a number of targets equal to your spellcasting ability. Your level of Familiarity to the target determines the likelihood of this spell affecting them. Roll a d100 on the table below to determine whether the spell finds the correct target or not, and who else it might target. Each target makes an intelligence Saving throw. On a success, the creature may choose not to receive the message. On a failure, the creature must listen to your message. A creature that is resting when it listens to the message receives no benefit from the rest upon its completion, and a creature that is concentrating on a spell when it listens to the message must make a disadvantaged wisdom saving throw against your spellcasting DC or lose its concentration.



Familiarity
Target's True Name
Piece of Target's Body
Very Familiar
Casual Acquaintance
Met Once
Description
False or Dead Person


On Target
01-100
01-100
25-100
54-100
74-100
74-100
___


Nearby Person
___
___
14-24
44-53
54-73
54-73
___


Demographically Similar Person
___
___
06-13
34-43
44-53
44-53
51-100


No Target
___
___
01-05
01-33
01-43
01-43
01-50




At Higher Levels: Choose an additional number of targets equal to your spellcasting ability for each level of spell slot you expend above 7th.

Sorry I built the table sideways. I haven't used that before and don't want to redo it.

[Armok]

Delayed Blast Furball

The longer you concentrate on it, the bigger the yuck. Coincidentally, most cats become 13th level spellcasters by virtue of this existing.

[JakOfAllTirades]

It's in my signature. :smallbiggrin:

[Vaz]

Fish

You get a lot a of Fish.

[djreynolds]

Irresistable Pee Pee Dance

Creature must make a con save... or have to pee and can think of nothing else. Losses all concentration, cannot attack, and must dash to the nearest tree

[Âmesang]

Bigby's gesturing hand (finger?)
Mordenkainen's lubrication (where did I put my copy of the BoEF?)
Storm of Vegemite
Vampiric Couch (aka, the "Couch of Devouring")
Which Bolt? ("How do I cast spell?)


Tasha's Hideous Daughter
Make it Tasha's hideous son. Nothing says "life of the party" like summoning Iuz the Old. <GREYHAWK® Geek> :smalltongue:

EDIT: Turns out Tasha/Iggwilv (https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Iggwilv#In-universe_character_biography) did have a "hideous daughter," a vampiress named Drelzna who was slain sometime in the late 570s CY. Oops.

[Fishyninja]

That is a beautiful spell that I simply must use. Shouldn't they be able to spend their action to attempt to politely extricate themselves from conversation, thereby gaining another saving throw? It is only a level 1 spell, after all.

Edit: Is there a reason you didn't make the saving throw tied to spellcaster DC?
That is kind of why I picked Charisma as a save, it allows for the
"Pardon me I have to go, my grandmother appears to be on fire excuse" or something similar.

[Shining Wrath]

Wash. Makes entire planets clean at the cost of a 9th level slot.

[KorvinStarmast]

Find Stud

2nd level conjuration
Casting time: 7 days
Range: Self
Components: V, S, M (a meatloaf)
Duration: Permanent

In just seven days make a man. Needs the ritual tag. Love the M component.

Usain Bolt
The sum of awe.

Fish
You get a lot a of Fish. Ritual tag, casting time is between twilight and two hours after dawn, material component is a small boat, beer, pole, hook, bait.

Irresistable Pee Pee Dance

Creature must make a con save... or have to pee and can think of nothing else. Losses all concentration, cannot attack, and must dash to the nearest tree This is how you handle Mood Druids in Wild Shape.

My creation:

---------------

Shattered
2nd - level evocation
Casting Time: 1 action
Range: 60 feet
Components: V, S, M (black disc about 11" in diameter)
Duration: Instantaneous

A sudden loud noise, played by the image of an ethereal zombie strumming a lute with small bolts of lightning emanating from it, creates a painfully effect at a point within range.
Each creature in a 10- foot-radius sphere centered on that point must makes a Wisdom saving throw, taking 3d8 lighting damage on a failed save, or half as much damage on a successful one.
Any creature made of stone begins to roll on a failed save, traveling their movement before they can stop in a random direction (unless "downhill" is obvious). Encountering moss ends this roll.
All other creatures, on a failed save, try to bite a big, phantasmal apple gaining disadvantage on any Dex saving throw during its next turn.
(Might need to be a third level spell due to the multiple effects ...)

[JakOfAllTirades]

Vicious Crockery: all foes in a 15' radius are attacked by animated dinnerware.

1 minute duration. Concentration. V,F.

Bard Spell, of course.

[LordVonDerp]

Magic Fissile
You summon 3 nuclear warheads that home in on targets

[DragonSorcererX]

Magic Fissile
You summon 3 nuclear warheads that home in on targets

You will die too, don't you?

[cZak]

Vash

2nd level
Same effect as Fly
Except, all ranged attacks have advantage

'I am a leaf on the wind. Watch me soar'

edit for: Sicarius Victis 'Problem is, then you have to get spiked in the chest and suffer a death that outrages everybody.'

[Sicarius Victis]

Reduce to a 1st level spell.
Same effect as Feather fall

'I am a leaf on the wind. Watch me soar'

Problem is, then you have to get spiked in the chest and suffer a death that outrages everybody.

[Notafish]

Pope Trick

2nd Level Illusion
VS

Concentration, up to one hour

For up to one hour, allows you to impersonate a high-ranking member of any religious order, including vestments that hold up to non-magical inspection. While the spell is active, you gain advantage on all Religion, History, Intimidation, and Persuasion checks made to recall information about the religious order or to convince others that you are a high-ranking member of said order.

[Lawful Good]

Animate Bread

3rd Level Conjuration

V, S, M (Betty Crocker's Immortal Soul)

You magically animate up to three pieces of mostly breadish foods as per Animate Objects

Dance, muffin, dance:P

EDIT: Also, my sig

[Theodoxus]

Feather Ball - 1st level transmutation; creates a ball shaped mass of feathers that softens your landing. By a smidge smudge.
Find the Math - 6th level divination; allows you to instantly understand the underlying statistics of the game.
Protection from Prison - 2nd level abjuration; grants Diplomatic Immunity for 1 hour.
Spider Limb - 2nd level transmutation; caster touches any creatures limb, it turns into a tiny spider's leg.
Staggering Mite - 4th level evocation; a tiny spiderlike creature shoots from your hand, barreling into your opponent on a successful ranged spell attack, causing them to lose all movement for the round.
Gaseous Foam - 3rd level transmutation; turns you into a marshmallow
Sacred Blame - Evocation cantrip; on a failed Wis save, causes the subject to turn beet red and do nothing for the turn, as they remember some heinous act they did or thought of doing. Not considered stunned or helpless.
Scorching Tray - 2nd level evocation; pulls a cookie sheet from the nearest hot oven and hurls it at your opponent.
Porn Whip - Transmutation cantrip; Throws an image of nude men, women or mixed couples in front of your opponent, distracting them to move closer to you.

[Abithrios]

Altar self. For when your friend needs a shrine to pray at or offer sacrifices on. Alter self

Bestow nurse. Why should I be bothered to learn the medicine skill myself? I have magic for that. bestow curse

Disgust self. Warning: repeated use may result in bulimia. disguise self

Globeness. Doubles how round the target is.glibness

Legend bore. Kinda like what happens when the DMPC casts the original spell in a party of murder hobos.legend lore

Mage armoire. Did you think wizards just carry their robes in a backpack like some sort of savage?mage armor

Spy growth. Not as useful for infiltration and intelligence gathering as the bard who created it expected, to nobody else's surprise. Casters who don't dump wisdom have found it useful for counterintelligence operations, however spike growth .

Wall of horse. Nerfed substantially since 3.5e when you could use free actions to mount from one end and dismount the other end with just a couple of easy ride checks. wall o' force

Color spay. Used on pets. (usually :smalleek:) color spray

It's not that easy making all these invisible spell names on my phone. I hope you actually see them, or at least figure out on your own the spells I am referring to.

[Arkhios]

Thunderstruck!

As Thunderwave, but rather the after-sensation when you've been struck by one!

[Razuchee]

Fold Person
2nd level enchantment
Casting time: 1 Action
Duration: until dispelled.

The target must succeed on a constitution saving throw or be subject to the silkened condition, and be folded into a square foot stsh of cloth. while under this spell, the creature is only as thick as a fingernail, and weighs nearly nothing. any alteration to the cloth will also appear on the person once the spell ends. While a piece of silk, the target does not need to eat or breathe.

[Joe the Rat]

Find Stud

2nd level conjuration
Casting time: 7 days
Range: Self
Components: V, S, M (a meatloaf)
Duration: Permanent

In just seven days make a man.
A concise yet complete reference. The material component is a master stroke. I tip my hat to you, sir.



Mordenkainen's lubricationThis is the name I use for grease.

[Fishyninja]

Thunderstruck!

As Thunderwave, but rather the after-sensation when you've been struck by one!

Alternative Version!
A short man with a funny common accent who wears a flat cap suddenly appears and sings about heading to a farway land and wooing some dancers while powerplaying a lute.

[Arkhios]

Alternative Version!
A short man with a funny common accent who wears a flat cap suddenly appears and sings about heading to a farway land and wooing some dancers while powerplaying a lute.

I salute you!

My favorite band since I was 4 years old. No joking, we have old VCR's as proof!

[Fishyninja]

I salute you!

My favorite band since I was 4 years old. No joking, we have old VCR's as proof!

Gotta love them! Out of interest (and completely off topic) have you heard the "hillbilly cover" by Steve and the Seagulls? I'll put up a link if you are interested.

I wonder what other spells you could link with bands/song names?

[Arkhios]

Gotta love them! Out of interest (and completely off topic) have you heard the "hillbilly cover" by Steve and the Seagulls? I'll put up a link if you are interested.

Of course I have! Steve'n'Seagulls is a Finnish band, no less!

[Fishyninja]

Of course I have! Steve'n'Seagulls is a Finnish band, no less!

Dat Anvil Tho.

Edit: In a brain fart, I forgot you were from Finland!

[Yagyujubei]

Vash

2nd level
Same effect as Fly
Except, all ranged attacks have advantage

'I am a leaf on the wind. Watch me soar'

edit for: Sicarius Victis 'Problem is, then you have to get spiked in the chest and suffer a death that outrages everybody.'

spell name should be wash however because that is his name, not vash. short for Hoban Washburne


that being said

Dimension Whore
4th-level conjuration
Casting Time: 1 action
Range: Unlimited
Components: V
Duration: Instantaneous

You teleport yourself from your current location to any prostitute within range. You arrive at exactly the prostitute
desired. It can be a whore you can see, one you can visualize, or one you can describe by stating physical features,
such as “Mary, with the big freckled titties” or “That firey redhead with the shaved downstairs from the Broken Oar Inn”
You can bring along objects as long as their weight doesn’t exceed what you can carry. You can also bring one willing
creature of your size or smaller who is interested in the possibility of a threeway. The creature must be within 5 feet of
you when you cast this spell. If you would arrive at a prostitute already occupied by another creature, that creature is
teleported to the nearest field of goats.

[Fishyninja]

Vash

2nd level
Same effect as Fly
Except, all ranged attacks have advantage

'I am a leaf on the wind. Watch me soar'

edit for: Sicarius Victis 'Problem is, then you have to get spiked in the chest and suffer a death that outrages everybody.'


Problem is, then you have to get spiked in the chest and suffer a death that outrages everybody.

If you really wanted it to be a true Vash, it would be:

Vash, upon casting this spell during your fights, you incapacitate them without killing them, cause untold colatteral damage to the surrounding area, and have a strange obsession over food and women,

[Deleted]

If you really wanted it to be a true Vash, it would be:

Vash, upon casting this spell during your fights, you incapacitate them without killing them, cause untold colatteral damage to the surrounding area, and have a strange obsession over food and women,

I figured it would be a summoning spell that brought two insurance agents to you, who would then complain because they heard Vash was in the area... (note: he is not)

[Yagyujubei]

If you really wanted it to be a true Vash, it would be:

Vash, upon casting this spell during your fights, you incapacitate them without killing them, cause untold colatteral damage to the surrounding area, and have a strange obsession over food and women,

seriously though his name is wash. Deleted has it right with the Vash the stampede reference if you ppl insist on calling the spell vash.

[Fishyninja]

I figured it would be a summoning spell that brought two insurance agents to you, who would then complain because they heard Vash was in the area... (note: he is not)

God I love Millie.

[Fishyninja]

seriously though his name is wash. Deleted has it right with the Vash the stampede reference if you ppl insist on calling the spell vash.

Yes I know Wash is from Firefly.

My previous quote was also a Vash the Stampede reference.

[Deleted]

God I love Millie.

That whole manga is a national treasure.

[Fishyninja]

That whole manga is a national treasure.

Indeed.

New spell.

Power Word Dance!
Anyone afflicted by this spell must dance until they die. Caster may choose dance style.

[Arkhios]

Indeed.

New spell.

Power Word Dance!
Anyone afflicted by this spell must dance until they die. Caster may choose dance style.

Macarena? x)

[Fishyninja]

Macarena? x)

Yes even that abomination :smalltongue:

[Arkhios]

Yes even that abomination :smalltongue:

Best/Worst kind of abomination. Recipient targets would die of shame!

[Dr. Cliché]

Finger of Meth: You'll regret it, man!

Hunger of Hodor: Hodor!

Maize: You conjure 100lb of maize.

Massage: You call forth a succubus and compel it to give one creature a delightful massage. For the duration, the succubus cannot harm you or the target and must deliver a pleasant massage to the best of its ability. Any consequences of this spell are entirely your own fault.

Frightening Bolt: Anyone in the AoE must make a will save or be frightened for 1 round. Affected targets see the 'bolt' manifest as their greatest fear and head right at them. The caster does not see the individual fears. But they're probably clowns.

Blink: The target must succeed on a will save or blink its eyes once. Seems rubbish, doesn't it? But it's a third level spell and the designers must have known what they were doing. Perhaps there's an amazing use for this spell that you just haven't thought of yet. Why not take it for a spin and see what happens? Go on! You know you want to.

[MadBear]

Sharted
2nd level evocation
Casting time: 1 Action
Duration: instantaneous

All targets in a 10ft radius make constitution saving throws. Those that fail suffer 2d8 poison damage and suffer from the poisoned condition until they change their clothes. They also suffer disadvantage on all charisma checks against creatures who can smell.

[Aett_Thorn]

Between Scorching Tray and a few others here, I feel like you could have enough to build a mad chef with a few extra spells involved.

Hail of Scones: Next time you make a ranged attack, enemies within a 10-ft radius of the target are pelted with delicious scones for 1d10 bludgeoning damage

Cure Meats: Cure one targeted meat, allowing it to be preserved for long periods of time

Braise Dead: Can only target undead or dead creatures. Undead targeted by this spell must make a Con saving throw or suffer 8d8 fire damage. Other targets are braised delightfully, and the meat just falls off the bone when eaten.

Beacon of Soap: Turn one ally into a mobile scubbing station. It will follow you around, allowing you to wash dishes at your leisure for the next hour. Complete with scrubbing brush, dish soap, and hot water.

Arcane Rye: Summon a magnificent loaf of rye bread, weighing a few hundred pounds. If cast in the air, the rye will fall on your opponents in a 10' radius, dealing 10d6 damage (Dex save for half damage)

Rice Storm: Conjure a 15' radius swirling cloud of rice. For the duration, this area becomes difficult terrain, and enemies that start their turn there, or move into it for the first time on a turn, must make a Dex saving through or suffer 8d6 bludgeoning damage. WARNING: DO NOT use at a wedding festivity. You will be chased from the scene by an angry mob.

[KorvinStarmast]

Arcane Rye: Summon a magnificent loaf of rye bread, weighing a few hundred pounds. If cast in the air, the rye will fall on your opponents in a 10' radius, dealing 10d6 damage (Dex save for half damage) The Bard version of this spell ...

Arcane Rye
You summon a bottle of aged whiskey of the finest quality.

Any creature taking a sip of this amber liquid must make a Charisma save to avoid being at disadvantage for the next turn due to falling all over them selves trying to thank you.

Those making the save simply enjoy a fine tipple.

[Fishyninja]

Hail of Scones: Next time you make a ranged attack, enemies within a 10-ft radius of the target are pelted with delicious scones for 1d10 bludgeoning damage


As an englishman the idea of creating scones delights me to no end however the fact that those conjured scores are being wasted as a weapon and not as elevensies flabbergasts me.

This scone spell pairs perfectly with:

Create or destroy tea
Instantaneous

Upon casting the pot of tea appears with 1d4 number of cups. anyone who drinks said cups of tea earns 2*there level worth of HP and as a bonus id the tea is too weak for any reason the pot can be poured over an enemy for 1d8 scalding damage.

[MadBear]

Thunderstruck!

As Thunderwave, but rather the after-sensation when you've been struck by one!

Or thunderstruck,

ACDC shows up to play for you in concert.

[Aett_Thorn]

Conjure Animal Crackers: You conjure up fey spirits that take the shape of animal crackers, enough to feed up to 2 CR worth of human children-like creatures (8 1/4 CR, 4 1/2 CR, or 2 1 CR). While not necessarily nutritious, it will keep the kids quiet on long journeys.

[Yagyujubei]

Conjure Animal Crackers: You conjure up fey spirits that take the shape of animal crackers, enough to feed up to 2 CR worth of human children-like creatures (8 1/4 CR, 4 1/2 CR, or 2 1 CR). While not necessarily nutritious, it will keep the kids quiet on long journeys.

this one is the best for sure

[Crgaston]

Feather Ball - 1st level transmutation; creates a ball shaped mass of feathers that softens your landing. By a smidge smudge.
Find the Math - 6th level divination; allows you to instantly understand the underlying statistics of the game.
Protection from Prison - 2nd level abjuration; grants Diplomatic Immunity for 1 hour.
Spider Limb - 2nd level transmutation; caster touches any creatures limb, it turns into a tiny spider's leg.
Staggering Mite - 4th level evocation; a tiny spiderlike creature shoots from your hand, barreling into your opponent on a successful ranged spell attack, causing them to lose all movement for the round.
Gaseous Foam - 3rd level transmutation; turns you into a marshmallow
Sacred Blame - Evocation cantrip; on a failed Wis save, causes the subject to turn beet red and do nothing for the turn, as they remember some heinous act they did or thought of doing. Not considered stunned or helpless.
Scorching Tray - 2nd level evocation; pulls a cookie sheet from the nearest hot oven and hurls it at your opponent.
Porn Whip - Transmutation cantrip; Throws an image of nude men, women or mixed couples in front of your opponent, distracting them to move closer to you.


You, Sir, win the internet for today.

[JumboWheat01]

Sharted
2nd level evocation
Casting time: 1 Action
Duration: instantaneous

All targets in a 10ft radius make constitution saving throws. Those that fail suffer 2d8 poison damage and suffer from the poisoned condition until they change their clothes. They also suffer disadvantage on all charisma checks against creatures who can smell.

This is totally a spell an evil-ish bard would create.

Question of if it affects people who aren't wearing pants. Barbarians can go naked after all...

[Potato_Priest]

Blink: The target must succeed on a will save or blink its eyes once. Seems rubbish, doesn't it? But it's a third level spell and the designers must have known what they were doing. Perhaps there's an amazing use for this spell that you just haven't thought of yet. Why not take it for a spin and see what happens? Go on! You know you want to.

This is the funniest thing I've seen in this thread so far, and there is some good competition.

Maybe on people who can't speak due to stunnage, who are using the cliche of blinking to communicate, this spell could be super useful! A Must-Prepare for sure.

[The Ship's dog]

Finger of Meth: You'll regret it, man!


I refer you to page 1 :smalltongue:

[Sicarius Victis]

Mordenkainen's Dysfunctional Family: Yeah.

Polled Person: Target is entirely unable to do anything but rant about who they did and did not vote for.

Poled Person: The spell that makes Vlad the Impaler squee in joy.

Cold Person: Target is entirely unable to do anything but shiver. Side effects include popsicles and snowcones.

Eye-Bite: Go for the eyes!

Stone to Flash: And suddenly, every nearby stone statue loves nothing more than showing you their entire body, in full detail.

Pass Without Face: Or: Hiding the fact that you don't have a face 101.

Miner Illusion: What are you talking about? There's totally a whole group of people mining here!
Or
Minor Illusion: What are you talking about? I totally have kids, and I can prove it!

Dissonant Whiskers: Something is wrong with his/her/its facial hair. You're not quite sure what, but it's definitely something.

False Wife: Or: How to make your ex jealous 101.

Fig Cloud: Where did all these figs come from?!

Hax: l33t skillz not included.

Dorkness: The answer to anyone complaining that the characters are nothing like their players.

Counterspill: "How did you stain the new counter already?!"

Melf's Minute Meat-Eaters: "We're like two peas in a pod! Two bullets in a mag! Two cannibal midgets in a fat guy's ribcage!"

More to come.

[Dr. Cliché]

I refer you to page 1 :smalltongue:

Ah, sorry. I missed that.

[The Ship's dog]

Ah, sorry. I missed that.

No no no, that's cool. It's fun to find out that I wasn't the only one who thought of that.

[Aaron Underhand]

Have you all missed ....

Misspell Magic - 3rd, Reaction

Amend an enemy spell being cast by the addition, substitution or deletion of a single character from the spell's name. All other elements of the cast remain as far as possible, but the effect reflects the new name. At higher level additional characters (in the spell name) can be modified, 2 at 4th, 3 at 5th...


And I personally like:

Time Stamp - for one minute all actions in the area attract a stamp of the date and time on the most appropriate element - fighters wrist on drawing a sword, wound on a hit, tongue when casting a spell. the stamp is firm and causes 1 point of damage, and a concentration check when relevant...


Oh and Blink.... massive spell... if you've seen Dr Who...

[JumboWheat01]

Oh and Blink.... massive spell... if you've seen Dr Who...

Still one of the creepiest episode of modern Who.

[N810]

Fireballs:

Causes a burning itchy sensation against males,
the target is only able to use one hand for the next D4 rounds.

[Joe the Rat]

Oh and Blink.... massive spell... if you've seen Dr Who...


Still one of the creepiest episode of modern Who.

No, don't cast blink. not even for a moment. And definitely don't look at the picture on the spell scroll...
(I would love to use something like them, but timey wimey aside, they aren't very D&Dable. Not as monsters, at least. )

[Deleted]

No, don't cast blink. not even for a moment. And definitely don't look at the picture on the spell scroll...
(I would love to use something like them, but timey wimey aside, they aren't very D&Dable. Not as monsters, at least. )

Have the creatures move whenever you see the players blink.

Character makes a Con Save (Action) DC 10 or DC 15... The player can blink if they pass... :D

Make them old, hungry, and slower than normal angels... But still gonna snap yo neck.

[Joe the Rat]

The difficulty is that they are great puzzle monsters, but "can't be hurt when they aren't moving" does not jibe well with players. Smashing statues to prevent gargoyle/golem/mimic/illusioned helm horror/pudding-in-stasis ambushes (if you have any other ideas, please share) is common practice. Nonmagic weapon immunity would help, but limits their terror range (low levels, no wizards).

Treating them like a sentient trap (avoid or confound, destroy is not really an option) would get more mileage.

And to get back on topic:

Ray of Frog
Frog Cloud

Very popular with Pact of the Toad Warlocks...

[Arkhios]

Wolf's Cunning (Fox's Cunning); I find that wolves are much more cunning animals than foxes are. Plus I like wolves.

[Dr. Cliché]

Wolf's Cunning (Fox's Cunning); I find that wolves are much more cunning animals than foxes are. Plus I like wolves.

I'll second this (on both counts).

[Logosloki]

Beacon of Pope: A light beam grazes over the clouds, alerting the pope that the material plane needs him (,or her).

Glubness: You sound like you are trying to talk whilst underwater.

The Resistance: Summons a ragtag group (1d8) of humanoids with a diverse set of skills to get the job done.

Detect Magick: For the duration you sense the presence of larpers, tabletop roleplayers and Ren-faire enthusiasts.

Glade Ward: Until the end of your next turn you only smell the scents of Glade.

Armour of Agatha Christies: As long as you maintain control of a scene you may not die. If anyone does die you may reveal who killed them in the presence of the relevant authorities.

[Fishyninja]

Armour of Agatha Christies: As long as you maintain control of a scene you may not die. If anyone does die you may reveal who killed them in the presence of the relevant authorities.
This is utterly amazing!

[Addaran]

Detect Magik: You can detect the presence of Illyana Rasputin, the sexy demonic sister of Colossus. :smallredface:


Wolf's Cunning (Fox's Cunning); I find that wolves are much more cunning animals than foxes are. Plus I like wolves.

Wolf's Cunning should give Pack Tactics to all the targets. =D

[Deleted]

I'll second this (on both counts).

Coyotes (and Coywolfs) are much more cunning that either.

Not only have they started mating with wolves and making a new fricken species (wolves don't like to mate with smaller "wolfs') but they live fricken everywhere!

Like... Downtown Chicago has coyotes living everywhere. They steal dog toys in urban areas to give to their pups. They also don't bother humans because they realize humans will mess them up BUT they kill things that make us mad. A town in Canada got rid of their Coyotes and then had a huuuuge goose problem. Coyotes also get rid of vermin and other bad things that can cause problems for humans and our pets.

They are like the secret santa of pets. We never really see them but they see us and have adapted to rural and urban human coexistence.



https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MhtuHXInt88

Absolutely lovely documentary from PBS!

[JAL_1138]

Viscous Mockery

Vicious Crockery

Vicious Spockery
http://youtu.be/KCamCYip2t4

[Kane0]

Reverse Cavity. Sure it's high level, but it's something mending doesnt fix so dentists could make quite a bit of money out of it.

[Ursus the Grim]

I'm just going to leave this (https://www.reddit.com/r/DnD/comments/5gvasj/my_gm_created_the_ring_of_the_grammarian_allowing/) here. :smallbiggrin:

[Hathorym]

Last night I was mispronouncing a spell...

Absorb Elephants: quite a different visual

[Fishyninja]

Last night I was mispronouncing a spell...

Absorb Elephants: quite a different visual
This amuses me Immensely.

Hunters Makers Mark
A bottle of amber alcohol from a strange land called Kentookay appears, you drink laugh and be merry.

Post Script. I know it is spelt Kentucky.

[Crgaston]

Rope Tick
Cope Trick
Dope Trick
Hope Trick
Lope Trick
Mope Trick
Nope Trick
Pope Trick
Trope Trick
Rope Track
Rope Truck
Ripe Trick

[Psikerlord]

Usain Bolt
3rd-level Evocation
Casting Time: 1 Action
Range: Self 100-Foot Line
Components: V,S,M (A Worn Tennis Shoe)
Duration: Instantaneous

The fastest man in the world materializes and runs in a line 100 feet long and 5 feet wide, sprinting out from you in a direction you choose. Each creature in the line must make a Dexterity saving throw. A creature takes 8d6 damage on a failed save, or half as much damage on a successful one. He carries the Olympic torch, which ignites flammable objects in the area that aren’t being worn or carried.
At Higher Levels. When you cast this spell using a spell slot of 4th level or higher, the damage increases by 1d6 for each slot level above 3rd.

We have a winner!

[sir_argo]

Rope D***

2nd-level Transmutation (Wizard)
Casting Time: 1 action
Range: Touch
Components: VSM
Duration: 1 hour

You touch a length of...

Oh hell no, I'm not writing a description for this spell! I wouldn't touch that with a 10' pole.

[cZak]

Armour of Agatha Christies: As long as you maintain control of a scene you may not die. If anyone does die you may reveal who killed them in the presence of the relevant authorities.

That is absolutely awesome!!!

[Prince Zahn]

Crowd of Jagger's

You summon a 10 foot by 10 foot cube sized crowd of retro Rolling Stones fans who live in the past. Anyone who begins their turn in their space must make a charisma save or be charmed and assimilated, and increase the size of the crowd.
Calling forth a sudden burst of magical wind (such as that by gust of wind) does not disperse them. Instead, such Wind Calls only make them stronger, increases the DC of the Charisma save by +2.

[Sirdar]

Agonizing Last

Prerequisite: Eldritch Blast cantrip

When you try to cast Eldritch Blast, you lose initiative and have to go last!

[GhorrinRedblade]

I don't think I saw this one already, sorry if I missed it.

Which Bolt
Will help you quickly assemble prefab furniture by always picking up the proper part.

[pwykersotz]

I don't think I saw this one already, sorry if I missed it.

Which Bolt
Will help you quickly assemble prefab furniture by always picking up the proper part.

I consider that to be worth a first level spell slot.

[GhorrinRedblade]

Then if you've got a bolt or screw that you're sure should go "right there," that's when you bust out make hole.

(And I'm fairly sure that's not a 5e spell anymore, but we can roll with this, right?)

[Misterwhisper]

Metagaming's Disjunction

Level 7 Divination Spell

Material Component: The Monster's Manual

If the DM fails a Wisdom Save, you can look at the monster's entry in the Monster's Manual, or if it is an NPC the DM has to tell you what level the NPC has in which classes and their stats. If you are a caster, you may change one spell on your list for one other spell you can cast at your level.

"Oh, crap! That is that thing? ... casts spell... Wait, that monster has a garbage Constitution save and has vulnerably to thunder damage. One Second... oh yeah, I do know Thunderwave"


Metagaming's Word

Level 7 Enchantment Spell

Material Component: The PHB

If the DM fails a Charisma Save, you can choose whether the DM uses the RAW or the RAI of the rule in question.

"Hold on, your patron just gives you an OPTION to take your patron spells? ... cast spell... See, I am pretty sure it meant that you get to add them to your spells known"


Metagaming's Private Sanction

Level 9 Enchantment Spell

Material Component: a bribe, blackmail material, or be dating/married to the DM

If the DM fails an Intelligence save then you may alter any note or rule written in any of the gaming books or in your GM's notes for the next scene only.

"Ok guys we are finally here to take out the Grand Lich... casts spell... do not worry though THIS Lich is not one of those that can cast spells."

[tomato]

Blooming Blade.

Create or Destroy Waiter.

Frog Cloud.

Sex.

Godberry.

Animal Massager.

Find Trips.

Moronbeam

Ripe Trick.

Bacon of Hope.

Speak with Pants.

Wall of Wafer.

Dominate Breast

Antiwife Shell

Legend Sore.

Malestorm

Teleportation Circus

Wall of Farce.

Tree Pride.

[Fishyninja]

Blooming Blade.

Create or Destroy Waiter.

Frog Cloud.

Sex.

Godberry.

Animal Massager.

Find Trips.

Moronbeam

Ripe Trick.

Bacon of Hope.

Speak with Pants.

Wall of Wafer.

Dominate Breast

Antiwife Shell

Legend Sore.

Malestorm

Teleportation Circus

Wall of Farce.

Tree Pride.
One requires descriptions Poste Haste Please.

While I wait, I'll try:
Malestorm
It starts raining Men, Literally

[tomato]

One requires descriptions Poste Haste Please.

While I wait, I'll try:
Malestorm
It starts raining Men, Literally

Hallelujah!

[Fishyninja]

Blooming BladeYour wepon instantly regenerates, or any flower you plant or touch gains razor sharp petals


Sex.
*Description Censored*



Godberry.
You gain a PDA that puts you in touch with the Pantheon of your choice. However you will never have service.

[stkr]

sapchange
transmutation cantrip
casting time: 1 round
duration: permanent
changes 1 pound of sap to sap from another type of tree

"weapon syrup yumm"

[Mjolnirbear]

Dimension Doom

Open a door to Xoriat or Dal Quor. Watch as Eberron citizens are annihilated.

[Fishyninja]

Butter Knife
The user can launch a knob of butter up to 60 ft from them, when the butter inpacts it spreads out and creates a greasy area on the floor or lightly buttered toast.

[Corran]

Create or Destroy Waiter.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cz1rhLnCrJQ
(Stephen Fry in the new statesman was the first to use this spell)

[Lvl 2 Expert]

Cure Meats: Cure one targeted meat, allowing it to be preserved for long periods of time

In 3.x this would of course be split up into Cure Light Meats for poultry and Cure Serious Meats for pork and cow.

Dancing Mites
Evocation cantrip
Casting time: 1 action
Range: 120 Feet
Components: V, S, M (a hairy caterpillar)

Duration: Concentration, up to 1 minute

Target becomes very, very itchy.

At higher levels: When cast from a 2nd level spell slot the itchy spots start moving around on the targets skin.

Can be made permanent with a permanency spell.

[RickAsWritten]

Best Bond
8th-Level Transmutation
Casting Time: 1 Action
Range: 90ft
Components: V,S,M(a vodka martini, shaken not stirred)
Duration: Concentration, Up to...about an hour and a half

Up to 6 creatures of your choosing must make a Charisma saving throw against the caster's spell save DC. On a failed save the affected targets' weapons and armor are transmuted into hand crossbows and nobleman's clothes, respectively. The targets are under an effect similar to the spell Compelled Duel with the difference being that the compulsion causes them to duel each other until only one creature remains. The DM must roll D6's for each affected creature to assign a particular Bond from the following:
1-Sean Connery-has the Tavern Brawler feat, and can cast Charm Person on one of the other Bonds(DC15)
2-George Lazenby-Immediately falls unconscious and must succeed on three Death Saving throws to regain consciousness
3-Roger Moore-Disadvantage on all Athletics Checks and has their movement speed reduced by half, Advantage on Performance checks involving one-liners
4-Timothy Dalton-has the Heavy Armor Master feat, but is no longer wearing armor
5-Pierce Brosnan-Advantage on all Persuasion checks
6-Daniel Craig-Has the Tavern Brawler feat, and Advantage on all Intimidation checks

[MadBear]

Animal Massager level 1

a woodland creature appears and gives you a 10 minute massage.

You may use a higher level slot, to summon an extra woodland creature equal to the level of slot used

Dank Vision level 4

you instantly know the effects of any illegal substance that is obtained

Knock-up level 9

Target becomes pregnant. They may or may not be the reincarnation of their deity made manifest.

[Corran]

Television
2nd level, Ritual
Casting Time: 10 minutes
Duration: 2 hours
Components: V, S, M (a mirror worth at least 50 gp, and with a clear surface)
Effect: After casting this spell, you can select up to 6 willing creatures. For the duration, each affected creature that regains hp by whatever means, doubles that amount of hp regained. It also reduces exhaustion by one level, provided the affected creature is under the effects of this spell for at least 1 hour. You cannot reduce exhaustion by more than 1 level per single casting of this spell. Moreover, every creature affected by this spell, is incapacitated for the duration.


Telecontrol
3rd level, Ritual
Casting time: 1 minute
Duration: 24 hours
Components: V, S
Effect: This spell allows you to modify the duration of television, so that you can end the effect earlier if you want. Moreover, every creature affect by television isn't incapacitated (as the telecontrol allows you to ignore commercials), though they suffer disadvantage on perception checks and attack rolls instead.


Heroes' Fist
6th level
Casting time: Special
Components: S*, V*
Duration: 24 hours
Effect: You can choose up to 6 creatures affected by television, that are not incapacitated. For the duration of television, and provided that it lasted at least 1.5 hours, every affected creature of this spell watches a movie of the greatest hero of all time, Chuck Norris. During that time, every one of the affected by this spell creatures, must be able to concentrate (as if concentrating on a spell) on practicing the somatic (roundhouse kicks) and the verbal (telling Chuck Norris facts; yeah... facts, not jokes) components of this spell . Upon completion of this spell, every affected creature gains the following benefits for the next 24 hours, or until they take a long rest:
1) Advantage on athletics checks
2) Advantage on intimidation checks
3) Gain the tavern brawler feat
4) Upon the completion of this spell, the creature can choose to replace any number of class levels they might have, with an equal number of monk levels (limited to the open fist archtype). The resulting outcome of your build follows the rules for multiclassing, though it trumps ability score prerequisites. Creatures without class levels can choose to gain 1 monk level.