Ever felt an attraction outside of your orientation?

[Jeivar]

I'm a straight man, and I could never imagine myself going so far as to touch a guy... like that. But there are moments when I can't help but acknowledge how damn attractive someone is. I'm curious whether others know this feeling too.

At the top of my personal list would be Jerry Dandridge (https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/originals/55/c6/b2/55c6b2e5e7a9529b429ae86f5d3ffc52.jpg) from the original Fright Night. I watched that movie with a friend a couple of years ago, and we agreed that he was just distressingly sexy. And not just his looks, but the performance as well.

And I have to admit that I totally ship Finn and Poe from The Force Awakens. They're just so good together. :smallredface:

[Jon_Dahl]

Sometimes I feel attracted to non-Latin women, or even to Nordic women. It's extremely rare, though.

[Yora]

No, I am pansexual. :smallbiggrin: Gender is not a factor regarding attraction for me.

[lylsyly]

I'm gay (happily so), yet over the years I have been attracted to a few women. A couple of times, I've even done something about it. Maybe I have Pan tendencies (hmm...).

[Chen]

I'd say there's a subtle difference between being attracted to someone and thinking someone is attractive. Being attracted, whether sexually, romantically or whatever to someone is one thing. But simply acknowledging that a person is attractive (whether conventionally in society, or just in your eye) is quite different. Your thread title appears to ask about the former, whereas your example appears to be more the latter.

[Knaight]

Attracted to? No. Capable of seeing the attractiveness of? Absolutely. Wished that I looked more like? For sure. There are some subtleties to picking up the intricacies of cultural beauty standards, but it's not like the broad strokes are in any way hard to figure out.

[BWR]

Not really, no. Straight as a ruler, I am. The closest I ever got was being very impressed with some of Jim Morrison's topless pics. I'm perfectly capable of seeing and acknowledging physical attractiveness in guys, however.

[Yuki Akuma]

I used to think I was attracted to people outside my orientation, before I realised that simply meant my orientation was broader than I initially assumed.

[golentan]

Nah, I'm... pretty flexible.

http://i.imgur.com/XNMZQXC.gif

[Anonymouswizard]

Yes maybe kind of? I'm bisexual, so gender does matter to me (if it didn't I'd call myself pansexual) but occasionally have found myself attracted to someone more like what I prefer in the other gender. Sort of?

Oh, I also once became more attracted to someone post transition even though their personality hadn't changed. They just presented themselves as the other gender and I was attracted to some of their qualities in that gender.

[Red Fel]

Yeah, for me, it's less about "am attracted to" and more about "appreciate the aesthetic of."

I mean, can you imagine me being attracted to anybody? Bunch of disturbing meatsacks with a repulsive body-soul duality. Eugh.

But I can admire. From an aesthetic perspective. I can admire a man with an abdomen on which you could grate cheese. I can admire a woman with perfect skin, an ideally symmetrical face, and eyes that absolutely pop against her natural hair color. Heck, I can admire the hum of an optimally-tuned engine or the slow-motion flow of a predator's rear legs before it pounces; it's all aesthetics to me. Ain't about attraction.

And don't ask about my orientation. We all know where I'm oriented.

[Eldariel]

While I'm a straight man, there's one man I have felt attracted to. Just feminine enough with perfect physique, of course into dance and yoga, fine features - the man looks like a Greek god and has the brains to match. Masculinity doesn't do it for me, but sufficiently attractive bishounen types with numerous traits I appreciate might. Of course, nothing would ever come out of such.

[Lycunadari]

Nope. I'm asexual. :smallbiggrin:


I'd say there's a subtle difference between being attracted to someone and thinking someone is attractive. Being attracted, whether sexually, romantically or whatever to someone is one thing. But simply acknowledging that a person is attractive (whether conventionally in society, or just in your eye) is quite different. Your thread title appears to ask about the former, whereas your example appears to be more the latter.

Yeah, this. I find plenty of people cute, pretty, handsome and other things you could call attractive, but I'm never actually (sexually) attracted to them, so there definitely is a difference.

[Aedilred]

Sometimes I feel attracted to non-Latin women, or even to Nordic women. It's extremely rare, though.

I'm not sure "Latina" is really an orientation, is it?

[Anonymouswizard]

I'm not sure "Latina" is really an orientation, is it?

No, but I do know some people with a major preference for a certain ethnicity, sometimes to near exclusivity. I personally have a preference for East Asians despite it not being my race, although I've been attracted to a great many Caucasian women as well. So for some people it could in practice be an orientation.

On that note, I have to mention that I've met several people shocked that Latina is considered an ethnicity in the US (not sure if it is in the rest of America), whereas it generally isn't over here (although to be fair, I also use 'oriental' because it's not considered politically incorrect, and we also use Chinese as an alternative for East Asian in some respects).

[Recherché]

Back when I was a teenager I thought I was a lesbian. However over the years enough guys (including a few transguys) have caught my eye that I don't think that quite applies anymore. Nowadays I just go with "queer" and try to avoid pidgeonholing myself as much as possible. Can't be attracted to someone outside your orientation when you mostly refuse to define your orientation other than "I'm open to whatever comes up"

[Kato]

Well, I do consider myself pretty straight but opposite to some guys I have no problem acknowledging when I think a man is attractive. Not sure how uncommon this is exactly.
Then there are the few things I'd call man crush regarding celebrities / fictional people where I'm not entirely sure how I'd react if they came on to me.

[Jon_Dahl]

No, but I do know some people with a major preference for a certain ethnicity, sometimes to near exclusivity. I personally have a preference for East Asians despite it not being my race, although I've been attracted to a great many Caucasian women as well. So for some people it could in practice be an orientation.

On that note, I have to mention that I've met several people shocked that Latina is considered an ethnicity in the US (not sure if it is in the rest of America), whereas it generally isn't over here (although to be fair, I also use 'oriental' because it's not considered politically incorrect, and we also use Chinese as an alternative for East Asian in some respects).

Thank you, sir.

[gooddragon1]

Shouldn't this thread be in the main lgbt thread (http://www.giantitp.com/forums/showthread.php?493711-LGBTAI-58-Infinity-2-0-The-Darth-Arminius-Apology-Thread/page25)? It's a bit late to move it now imo, but I think it more closely aligns with that thread.

[danzibr]

I'd say there's a subtle difference between being attracted to someone and thinking someone is attractive. Being attracted, whether sexually, romantically or whatever to someone is one thing. But simply acknowledging that a person is attractive (whether conventionally in society, or just in your eye) is quite different. Your thread title appears to ask about the former, whereas your example appears to be more the latter.

Attracted to? No. Capable of seeing the attractiveness of? Absolutely. Wished that I looked more like? For sure. There are some subtleties to picking up the intricacies of cultural beauty standards, but it's not like the broad strokes are in any way hard to figure out.

Yeah, for me, it's less about "am attracted to" and more about "appreciate the aesthetic of."

I mean, can you imagine me being attracted to anybody? Bunch of disturbing meatsacks with a repulsive body-soul duality. Eugh.

But I can admire. From an aesthetic perspective. I can admire a man with an abdomen on which you could grate cheese. I can admire a woman with perfect skin, an ideally symmetrical face, and eyes that absolutely pop against her natural hair color. Heck, I can admire the hum of an optimally-tuned engine or the slow-motion flow of a predator's rear legs before it pounces; it's all aesthetics to me. Ain't about attraction.

And don't ask about my orientation. We all know where I'm oriented.

Well, I do consider myself pretty straight but opposite to some guys I have no problem acknowledging when I think a man is attractive. Not sure how uncommon this is exactly.
Then there are the few things I'd call man crush regarding celebrities / fictional people where I'm not entirely sure how I'd react if they came on to me.
These quotes more than sum up my thoughts on the issue. Consider attractive v. attracted to.

[Eldan]

Never, no. I mean, I can tell when a guy is good looking, but there's no attraction there. Can't imagine myself, say, kissing a guy, or even touching them much. Doesn't feel repulsive or anything, but touching a guy rates about the same as touching a wall or something, plus a few metric tons of social anxiety about touching anyone.

[Chen]

No, but I do know some people with a major preference for a certain ethnicity, sometimes to near exclusivity. I personally have a preference for East Asians despite it not being my race, although I've been attracted to a great many Caucasian women as well. So for some people it could in practice be an orientation.

I suppose you can stretch orientation that way, but it's just going to cause confusion since the vast majority of people take it to meaning sexual orientation in the hetero/homo/bi/asexual etc sense. While the thread title doesn't explain that reading the first post makes it clear that's what was being discussed.

[danzibr]

Never, no. I mean, I can tell when a guy is good looking, but there's no attraction there. Can't imagine myself, say, kissing a guy, or even touching them much. Doesn't feel repulsive or anything, but touching a guy rates about the same as touching a wall or something, plus a few metric tons of social anxiety about touching anyone.
Oh yeah.

I meant to mention a guy did kiss me once. Didn't repulse me, but didn't do anything for me, either.

[Xyril]

On that note, I have to mention that I've met several people shocked that Latina is considered an ethnicity in the US (not sure if it is in the rest of America), whereas it generally isn't over here (although to be fair, I also use 'oriental' because it's not considered politically incorrect, and we also use Chinese as an alternative for East Asian in some respects).

Am I reading this correctly (by that I mean, did you mean to write that the way you did?)

[Anonymouswizard]

I suppose you can stretch orientation that way, but it's just going to cause confusion since the vast majority of people take it to meaning sexual orientation in the hetero/homo/bi/asexual etc sense. While the thread title doesn't explain that reading the first post makes it clear that's what was being discussed.

This is true, and it's just that I wanted to bring up that some people might view the term that way. I personally view orientation as hetero/homo/bi/pan/a/omni/whatever and fetishes or the like, although I'll admit in the context of this thread it's fairly obvious we're talking about the hetero/homo/bi/pan/a/omni/whatever stuff,


Am I reading this correctly (by that I mean, did you mean to write that the way you did?)

I'm not going to go back and edit the post, so people can see it as I mistyped it, but I'll clarify what I mean.

Oriental is generally not considered politically incorrect where I live (the UK). It's not the best term to use because it can be insulting, but if you use Asian it'll generally take a moment for me to realise you don't mean someone from the Indian subcontinent, because that's what Asian is generally used to mean over here. It's like I'll occasionally call my Chinese friends 'yellow', because that's how they describe themselves, although I'll try to avoid a term if asked to. I veer towards Chinese over Asian or Oriental because most of my Asian friends are Chinese, although I do have one friend of Indian descent who describes himself as Oriental (because he seems the term as synonymous with 'eastern').

This is all a big mess, and nine times out of ten I'll use 'East Asian', but because of how it's seen over here I don't have any problems with the word and won't generally correct anyone who uses it. It's just how it is over here, the term is rarely used but you aren't likely to correct someone, I've used it in casual conversation before.

So what I mean is 'I also use 'oriental' because it's not considered politically incorrect in my native country'. I hope that clears up what I mean.

[Celestia]

Nope. I'm pretty well repulsed by the idea of being with a guy. I could never give up boobs.

[Themrys]

Acknowledging that someone is damn attractive is not the same as being attracted.

But I think it is impossible to be attracted to someone outside of your orientation. If you felt truly attracted to a man - not just aware that he's hot - then you'd be attracted to men, and then that'd be part of your orientation.

It is by definition impossible to be attracted outside your orientation, the way I define it.

[Recherché]

It's also important to consider that orientation isn't a simple one of 3 categories thing. It's not even a one of 6 numbers (Kinsey scale) thing. There's near infinite nuance and sometimes your brain can surprise you with some you didn't know you were capable of before. Nor is orientation necessarily static. While I don't believe it's possible to force your orientation to change, I know at least for myself it can shift and morph over time and dependent on situations. I just go with screw it I contain multitudes but your milage may vary.

[A.A.King]

Nope. I'm pretty well repulsed by the idea of being with a guy. I could never give up boobs.

This pretty much sums up my position as well. :smalltongue:

[BWR]

Nope. I'm pretty well repulsed by the idea of being with a guy. I could never give up boobs.

There are guys with boobs, you know. :smalltongue:

[Celestia]

There are guys with boobs, you know. :smalltongue:
That joke wasn't funny the first thirty times I heard it.

[Razade]

That joke wasn't funny the first thirty times I heard it.

Then maybe you should hear it 32 times, because it's a pretty amusing retort.

[golentan]

That joke wasn't funny the first thirty times I heard it.

It's not even necessarily supposed to be funny. My ex had boobs up until he got top surgery a couple months ago now I think.

[S@tanicoaldo]

Is it weird that I want to "top" a guy while still being a girl? Is that even a thing?

[Razade]

Is it weird that I want to "top" a guy while still being a girl? Is that even a thing?

Yeah, it's called pegging.

[golentan]

Yeah, it's called pegging.

And many people of both sexes are very into it.

[Razade]

And many people of both sexes are very into it.

Don't think I said anything against that.

[S@tanicoaldo]

No, not like that, it just don't stimulate enough...

I don't like the phallocentric concept and it seems kind of painful.

[Razade]

Double sided strap ons. Other sex toys. Certainly lots of ways to deal with mutual stimulation. Certainly not for everyone but men have an erogenous zone there around so it's like anything else. Take your time, go slow, communicate. As Golentan pointed out, lots of people enjoy it.

[S@tanicoaldo]

I was thinking about something more like this Link (http://www.chelsey.co.nz/uploads/sexposition/Amazon_sex.jpg) (NSFW but just a drawing nothing erotic or pornografic).

But none of the guys I went out with were... "Flexible"... Enough.

[golentan]

Don't think I said anything against that.

Wasn't disagreeing, just chiming in some support.

[BWR]

That joke wasn't funny the first thirty times I heard it.

Sorry.
I love bad jokes but I try not make them if I suspect they won't be welcome.

[danzibr]

Whoa, this thread went a direction I didn't expect.

[aberratio ictus]

Acknowledging that someone is damn attractive is not the same as being attracted.

But I think it is impossible to be attracted to someone outside of your orientation. If you felt truly attracted to a man - not just aware that he's hot - then you'd be attracted to men, and then that'd be part of your orientation.

It is by definition impossible to be attracted outside your orientation, the way I define it.

Very much this, I`d say.

[Kato]

Can't imagine myself, say, kissing a guy, or even touching them much. Doesn't feel repulsive or anything, but touching a guy rates about the same as touching a wall or something...

Hm... Kind of similar but I can imagine it. I did the kissing a few times, mostly on drunk dares. But never with someone I was into or even attracted to. It was just mechanical, no passion or arousal, but no disgust either. As I said, not sure if things were different with some guy I was attracted to, but I'm hesitant. There are few real people who fit the requirements, anyway.

[Sajiri]

Im not sure what counts as outside of my orientation since Im bi. When I was much younger I considered myself a straight girl until I had a crush on my best friend, but she did look a lot like a boy back then. Then I got a bit older and lost interest in men and went through a phase of only being attracted to women, but then I met and married my husband. I have specific features I tend to find attractive on people I suppose but sometimes I'll see or meet someone who does not match up with my usual interests, on occasion they might even be the sort of person I would normally not care for at all, but I just find myself instantly infatuated with them.

[NovenFromTheSun]

A few times, but never to the point of wanting to do anything physical with them.

[Mith]

I was thinking about something more like this Link (http://www.chelsey.co.nz/uploads/sexposition/Amazon_sex.jpg) (NSFW but just a drawing nothing erotic or pornografic).

But none of the guys I went out with were... "Flexible"... Enough.

I know I am late to the discussion here, and this isn't the main point of the thread, as well as being entirely unqualified in this subject area, but my first thought is pillows or some other means of support for those that may not be flexible/have the muscle capacity to hold such a position for a long period of time.

As for the main discussion of the thread, I agree with the observation that there isn't something attraction outside your orientation, because then that individual, if nothing else, is within your current orientation.

[golentan]

I don't know I agree with that. It's like the rule that species can't breed. Sometimes you wind up with a mule, that doesn't make the idea of "horses and donkeys are different species" invaluable, it just means that biology has a lot of wibbly one-offs which, on closer examination, generally turn out sterile.

[Smithsguild]

Attraction? When I was a teen with rampant hormones and limited outlets I do confess to 'considering it'; however never having acted on it and being quite content with my interaction within my orientation I consider it no more than a juvenile flight of fancy.