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sunkin
2017-02-07, 06:50 PM
My DM gave me permission to create my own homebrew spell for my newly level 6 bard. I've only been playing for a few months and I was hoping you could help me fine tuning it?

It's ment to be a level no higher then 3 and a bard only "spell".

Here is the spell.

Spell Name: Stunning Performance
Case Time: 1 action
Range: 15 feet
Components: None
Duration: Concentration up to 5 minutes

The bard performs an amazingly stunning performance that draws the eye of all enemies within 15ft. All enemies must make a charisma saving throw. On a failed saving throw the creature is stunned for the remainder of the initiative round. The creature is merely distracted if they pass and all attacks against them have advantage.

While the spell(performance) is active all enemies within range are effected. This means the player can move there full movement and all enemies who enter the 15 foot range at any point are effected(for the remainder of the initivitive round).

Enemies must be in line of site.

So my questions for you experienced players...

What level should this be?
Is it OP?
Is 15 feet the right range?
Should it have scale option(20 feet if cast at a higher level? or 5 per level?)
Is there a simular spell I don't know about which makes this spell pointless?
Is the name too on the nose?
Does the description make sense?


Any help would be greatly appreciated.

JNAProductions
2017-02-07, 07:18 PM
What does an instant cast time mean?

sunkin
2017-02-07, 07:22 PM
What does an instant cast time mean?

a mistake i've adjusted it to 1 action.

JNAProductions
2017-02-07, 07:30 PM
Right, let's go over the rest of it.

It's Friendly Fire approved, which a lot of CC is not.

You can move while it's active, and continually affect new enemies.

Most importantly, there is NO CLAUSE PREVENTING AN ENEMY FROM BEING AFFECTED MORE THAN ONCE. Fix that. Right now.

And lastly, it gives a great advantage even if they SUCCEED on their save.

So it should definitely be high level.

sunkin
2017-02-07, 07:53 PM
It's Friendly Fire approved, which a lot of CC is not.
That was not intended i'll have to add that in. Maybe have anyone who has seen the performance in its entirety immune.


You can move while it's active, and continually affect new enemies.
Correct. Thats part of why i like the spell. its not a point and fire deal. Also like the idea of the bard moving around the battle instead of standing in the back.


Most importantly, there is NO CLAUSE PREVENTING AN ENEMY FROM BEING AFFECTED MORE THAN ONCE. Fix that. Right now.
I figured since it only lasted until the end of the round that was covered. So technically if i am low in the initiative most the enemies won't be effected other than giving advantage against them. Then 5 minutes duration was so it did not have to be cast every turn. It was autocast on my turn for 5 minutes or until i lose concentration.


And lastly, it gives a great advantage even if they SUCCEED on their save.

So it should definitely be high level.
I was wondering if that would be pushing it lol

Flashy
2017-02-07, 07:55 PM
So it should definitely be high level.

Agreed! I'd argue it teeters somewhere on the edge between 7th and 8th level? Probably closer to 8th considering that the Bard could take the dash action to effectively double the enthralled area each turn. It's also worth noting that the relatively long duration means it will likely be able to impact multiple encounters per day.

sunkin
2017-02-07, 07:59 PM
Agreed! I'd argue it teeters somewhere on the edge between 7th and 8th level? Probably closer to 8th considering that the Bard could take the dash action to effectively double the enthralled area each turn. It's also worth noting that the relatively long duration means it will likely be able to impact multiple encounters per day.

any suggestions on how to bring it down to a 3rd level spell without changing the rp aspect i'm going for? Bard performing through the battle distracting and enthralling all who are close enough to see what he's doing.

retaliation08
2017-02-07, 08:00 PM
The bard performs an amazingly stunning performance that draws the eye of all enemies within 15ft. All enemies must make a charisma saving throw. On a failed saving throw the creature is stunned for the remainder of the initiative round. The creature is merely distracted if they pass and all attacks against them have advantage.

While the spell(performance) is active all enemies within range are effected. This means the player can move there full movement and all enemies who enter the 15 foot range at any point are effected(for the remainder of the initivitive round).

Enemies must be in line of site.

Ok there are several changes that I would make to the language here.


The bard performs an amazingly stunning performance that draws the eye of creatures within 15ft. Creatures of your choice that can see and hear you within 15ft. of you must make a charisma saving throw. On a failed saving throw, affected creatures are stunned. On a successful save, an affected creature is merely distracted and all attacks have advantage against the creature. A creature can make a new Charisma saving throw at the beginning of each of its turns to negate the effect.

While maintaining concentration on this spell, you can move up to your full movement to include new creatures within the spell's range. The effects of this spell immediately end on a creature that is no longer included within the range of this spell.

I think phrasing it this way does not fundamentally change the effects of the spell, but uses language that makes it easier to understand, and harder to abuse.

That being said, this should definitely be a higher level spell. I think it would be more balanced to give affected creatures who make their save disadvantage on their attacks, rather than all attacks against them having advantage. The creature is likely to make far fewer attack rolls than it can take in one round, so overall this spell would be affecting a lower number of attack rolls, making it more balanced. Either that or you could take the Guiding Bolt approach and just allow the next melee attack against the creature to have advantage. You should also add a statement allowing creatures to attempt another save when they take damage.

Over all it is a cool idea that needs a bit of work still.

EDIT: to make it a 3rd or 4th level spell I would change it to this:


The bard performs an amazingly stunning performance that draws the eye of creatures within 15ft. Creatures of your choice that you can see within 15ft. of you must make a charisma saving throw. On a failed saving throw, affected creatures are stunned. On a successful save, an affected creature is merely distracted and it has disadvantage on all attacks until the end of its next turn. A creature can make a new Charisma saving throw to end the effect at the beginning of each of its turns or when it takes damage from any source.

While maintaining concentration on this spell, you can move up to your full movement to include new creatures within the spell's range. The effects of this spell immediately end on a creature that is no longer included within the range of this spell.

Once a creature is affected by this spell, it can not be affected by this spell again for 24 hours.

sunkin
2017-02-07, 08:16 PM
You should also add a statement allowing creatures to attempt another save when they take damage.


What if i where to have the effects break when attacked?

Also in my head the spell ends each at the end of each round and is recast free each round until i am damaged. i'm guessing i didnt explain that well.

Deleted
2017-02-07, 08:17 PM
Seems like it is a very upgraded Hypnotic Pattern mixed with a bit of Hold Monster...

At the very least I would put this at level 5.

It isn't an all or nothing spell, it is a charisma save, and it has a good debuff on a successful save and a very good debuff on a failed save.

It has a ton of potential targets. Bards get expertise so stealth up to a bunch of creature and surprise them with this would be a huge pain...

At minimum I would say level 5 and maybe even level 6... This spell is brutal!

sunkin
2017-02-07, 08:22 PM
It has a ton of potential targets. Bards get expertise so stealth up to a bunch of creature and surprise them with this would be a huge pain...

At minimum I would say level 5 and maybe even level 6... This spell is brutal!

I never thought of it being used that way. I actually think now i would need wording to avoid that. Considering its supposed to be a performance. Jumping out at someone and playing a song would rp really odd lol. Maybe a suprise round would work if it started with a lute power slide? lol

retaliation08
2017-02-07, 08:37 PM
What if i where to have the effects break when attacked?



I think it would be good to have the effects break on a creature when it is attacked. Weakens the spell enough to make it usable at a lower level.


Also in my head the spell ends each at the end of each round and is recast free each round until i am damaged. i'm guessing i didnt explain that well.

I see what you are getting at, but the trouble is wording it properly so it is understood to work as intended since there is no precedent for such an effect that I am aware of. Most spells of this sort simply allow a creature another save attempt on its turn, either at the end or beginning of its turn.

I would also require all affected creatures to be able to hear and see you, as they would not be distracted otherwise.

sunkin
2017-02-07, 08:46 PM
I see what you are getting at, but the trouble is wording it properly so it is understood to work as intended since there is no precedent for such an effect that I am aware of. Most spells of this sort simply allow a creature another save attempt on its turn, either at the end or beginning of its turn.

Yeah i'm thinking the creature is only effected during the initiative round they where within range. It's a temporary 6sec distraction/stun. Once i'm out of range they easily carry on with there business. But if i'm within range again... 6sec of distraction. Until i am hit and unable to perform of course.

Ziegander
2017-02-07, 09:15 PM
It also definitely should have verbal, somatic, and material (instrument) components. Technically you could be able to perform a song using only your voice, but we'll chalk this up to balance. Besides, a vocal performance is always better when accompanied by instrumentals.

There's no way you're making a performance like this though without at least somatic components and either verbal or material components.

Even nerfing it down to Concentration up to 1 minute, making creatures who save or have been affected immune for 24 hours, and allowing stunned creatures to become de-stunned if they are attacked or damaged, I would still call this a 5th level spell.

If you want a 3rd level spell you're looking at single target stun, almost no way around that.

Deleted
2017-02-07, 10:04 PM
I never thought of it being used that way. I actually think now i would need wording to avoid that. Considering its supposed to be a performance. Jumping out at someone and playing a song would rp really odd lol. Maybe a suprise round would work if it started with a lute power slide? lol

I mean... Have you ever watched a Disney Movie?

That's pretty much what happens all the time, the singer just kinda pops up somewhere and starts singing/performing.

Also, there is really no way around stealthing up and then performing this spell, and that's fine. I love me a great bard who can sneak into a room and captivate an audience.


http://i.imgur.com/Y9ax5kJ.gif

I'm aware this isn't a disney movie, don't kill me, it's just the best bard gif ever.

Flashy
2017-02-07, 10:50 PM
Seems like it is a very upgraded Hypnotic Pattern mixed with a bit of Hold Monster...

This strikes me as the crux of this issue. If the spell is going to be balanced at 3rd level then it needs to be at least theoretically comparable to Hypnotic Pattern, a spell which...


Targets a single 30' cube.
Has no effect on a successful saving throw.
Only incapacitates, rather than stuns.
Targets a generally strong save.
Has multiple end conditions.

I'd propose the following.


Fascinating Performance
3rd Level Enchantment
Range: Self
Components: VS
Duration: Concentration, up to 1 minute.

You begin a dazzling performance which utterly enthralls nearby creatures. When you cast the spell creatures within 10' of you must make a Wisdom saving throw. On a failed save the creature becomes charmed until the end of its next turn. On a successful save, the target is unaffected and you can't use this ability on that creature again until you finish a long rest. While charmed the creature is considered blinded and deafened, perceiving only you. Until the spell ends you may use an action on each of your turns to repeat the performance, again targeting a 10' radius centered on yourself.

The spell ends for an affected creature if it takes any damage.

Deleted
2017-02-07, 11:06 PM
This strikes me as the crux of this issue. If the spell is going to be balanced at 3rd level then it needs to be at least theoretically comparable to Hypnotic Pattern, a spell which...


Targets a single 30' cube.
Has no effect on a successful saving throw.
Only incapacitates, rather than stuns.
Targets a generally strong save.
Has multiple end conditions.

I'd propose the following.


Fascinating Performance
3rd Level Enchantment
Range: Self
Components: VS
Duration: Concentration, up to 1 minute.

You begin a dazzling performance which utterly enthralls nearby creatures. When you cast the spell creatures within 10' of you must make a Wisdom saving throw. On a failed save the creature becomes charmed until the end of its next turn. On a successful save, the target is unaffected and you can't use this ability on that creature again until you finish a long rest. While charmed the creature is considered blinded and deafened, perceiving only you. Until the spell ends you may use an action on each of your turns to repeat the performance, again targeting a 10' radius centered on yourself.

The spell ends for an affected creature if it takes any damage.

I like it, though maybe just make it where they can't see or hear outside of the 10' radius? This way they don't actually have the blind or deaf conditions (which could be abused) but their attention is solely on the bard?

Or would that drop its power too much?

Ziegander
2017-02-07, 11:10 PM
I think that makes a fine 3rd level spell.

retaliation08
2017-02-07, 11:18 PM
This strikes me as the crux of this issue. If the spell is going to be balanced at 3rd level then it needs to be at least theoretically comparable to Hypnotic Pattern, a spell which...


Targets a single 30' cube.
Has no effect on a successful saving throw.
Only incapacitates, rather than stuns.
Targets a generally strong save.
Has multiple end conditions.

I'd propose the following.


Fascinating Performance
3rd Level Enchantment
Range: Self
Components: VS
Duration: Concentration, up to 1 minute.

You begin a dazzling performance which utterly enthralls nearby creatures. When you cast the spell creatures within 10' of you must make a Wisdom saving throw. On a failed save the creature becomes charmed until the end of its next turn. On a successful save, the target is unaffected and you can't use this ability on that creature again until you finish a long rest. While charmed the creature is considered blinded and deafened, perceiving only you. Until the spell ends you may use an action on each of your turns to repeat the performance, again targeting a 10' radius centered on yourself.

The spell ends for an affected creature if it takes any damage.

I still think this spell should only affect creatures that can see and hear the caster. Effectively blinding and deafening is pretty strong. Incapacitation is a strong enough affect for this spell.

Ninja_Prawn
2017-02-08, 06:46 AM
This strikes me as the crux of this issue. If the spell is going to be balanced at 3rd level then it needs to be at least theoretically comparable to Hypnotic Pattern, a spell which...


Targets a single 30' cube.
Has no effect on a successful saving throw.
Only incapacitates, rather than stuns.
Targets a generally strong save.
Has multiple end conditions.

I'd propose the following.


Fascinating Performance
3rd Level Enchantment
Range: Self
Components: V S
Duration: Concentration, up to 1 minute.

You begin a dazzling performance which utterly enthralls nearby creatures. When you cast the spell creatures within 10' of you must make a Wisdom saving throw. On a failed save the creature becomes charmed until the end of its next turn. On a successful save, the target is unaffected and you can't use this ability on that creature again until you finish a long rest. While charmed the creature is considered blinded and deafened, perceiving only you. Until the spell ends you may use an action on each of your turns to repeat the performance, again targeting a 10' radius centered on yourself.

The spell ends for an affected creature if it takes any damage.

I, too, endorse Flashy's Fascinating Performance as a 3rd-level spell. It's on the stronger end of the scale, probably, but at least it's in the right ballpark. It'd be hard to get closer to the OP's wishes without breaking into higher spell levels.

In particular, I want to highlight that this effect needs to be 'concentration, up to 1 minute', as Flashy has it. It's primarily a combat debuff spell that should mirror Hypnotic Pattern in that regard.