I Did Something Nice To A Member In This Forum

[Bartmanhomer]

Hey everybody. Tonight I did something nice to a member in this forum. It was all started in Confession 2 thread. He confess that he was feeling sad and he said that he was a loser that he didn't play D&D in real life. I PM him saying that you're not a loser and you're an amazing person. I also told him that I never played D&D in real life as well so he's not alone. He was happy and reply back saying thank you for your support and kind words. It's actually feel good cheering up other members in this forum. I know many of you will find this thread cheesy and sappy but it's actually feel good about it. :smile:

[Razade]

It would have been nice if you hadn't come to brag about it. People do nice things to do nice things, not as some badge or medal or to get a pat on the back. Even if your intentions were good, you tarnished them to a point that now I have to suspect you only did it because you wanted to brag after the fact.

[Bartmanhomer]

It would have been nice if you hadn't come to brag about it. People do nice things to do nice things, not as some badge or medal or to get a pat on the back. Even if your intentions were good, you tarnished them to a point that now I have to suspect you only did it because you wanted to brag after the fact.I didn't mean to brag about it. :frown:

[Razade]

You made an entire thread just to recount it.

[Bartmanhomer]

You made an entire thread just to recount it.
I thought it a good idea at first. Sorry if it sounds like a bad idea. :frown:

[Aedilred]

While it's a pretty fine distinction, I'm also not sure that people who post to the Confessions thread would necessary want those confessions reposted to other parts of the forum. I know it's a public thread but the implication (inasmuch as that thread is any more than a random banter thread) is that things posted there are for a select audience and not everyone.

[Razade]

Not to mention Private Messages which are, unsurprisingly, private.

[eggynack]

I find the thread title here rather amusing. Like an assault of kindness. Makes extra sense given the accurate things said of this thread.

[gooddragon1]

It's good that you did Bartmanhomer, but now you can probably see it's better not to talk about it. It might be best if we just let this thread get buried now.

[Bartmanhomer]

It's good that you did Bartmanhomer, but now you can probably see it's better not to talk about it. It might be best if we just let this thread get buried now.

OK I see. :frown:

[The Succubus]

The other thing is that people often talk about this sort of stuff in confidence. People will feel less safe opening up to you if they think their issues will be publicly discussed.

[Bartmanhomer]

The other thing is that people often talk about this sort of stuff in confidence. People will feel less safe opening up to you if they think their issues will be publicly discussed.OK. I didn't know about that part. :frown:

[Spanish_Paladin]

You did something nice, that is the only thing that matter. Yes, perhaps it is better keep it for you, but if sharing it with others warms your heart and encourage you to did more nicer things go for it. Perhaps be less detailed about things you speak in private and at least i'll be fine with it.

Cheer up, you rock!! :smallsmile::smallsmile:

[Jay R]

Thanks for helping the guy. The world will always be made better by those actions.

[Jon_Dahl]

I like you, BartmanHomer, and I appreciate your threads and your insight. I wouldn't feel offended at all if you spoke about my private messages. Relax and just be yourself, we all like you.

[Aedilred]

I like you, BartmanHomer, and I appreciate your threads and your insight. I wouldn't feel offended at all if you spoke about my private messages. Relax and just be yourself, we all like you.

But many people would be offended and/or annoyed. I would, and, indeed, have been, when people have paraphrased or direct-quoted my PMs into public chat. While we all know Bartmanhomer well enough to know that most likely no harm was intended in this instance, we also know him well enough to know that he's not entirely conversant with social and conversational norms. As such I don't think it's a good idea to be encouraging him to do something that the majority of people in the majority of situations would have a problem with, on the basis that a few people are fine with it.

As a general rule, private correspondence is meant to be private, not made public, so it's best to treat it that way unless stated otherwise by the party in question.

[Knaight]

I like you, BartmanHomer, and I appreciate your threads and your insight. I wouldn't feel offended at all if you spoke about my private messages. Relax and just be yourself, we all like you.

Speak for yourself. You're in no position to be claiming "we all" do anything.

[The Eye]

{scrubbed}

[Bartmanhomer]

{scrubbed}

I'm really am autistic.

[Strigon]

Hahahaha this is gold, I would be mad if you weren't such a sad excuse of a troll pretending to be an autistic person, which is very insensitive.

I'm sorry, but this is a wildly inappropriate comment to make. You don't have to believe who he claims to be, you don't have to like him or even interact with him. Calling him a troll out in the open like this isn't all right; he's done nothing to prove that he's a troll, and if he isn't this is quite offensive.

[The Eye]

I'm sorry, but this is a wildly inappropriate comment to make. You don't have to believe who he claims to be, you don't have to like him or even interact with him. Calling him a troll out in the open like this isn't all right; he's done nothing to prove that he's a troll, and if he isn't this is quite offensive.


Will this be sufficient?


Thank you for verifying the difference between opera and a musical. Confession: I troll so many forums and I got banned by so many forums. True story.

[Razade]

I've changed my mind. I'm glad you made this thread Bartmanhomer.

[danzibr]

Will this be sufficient?
I see no connection to autism here.

[The Eye]

I see no connection to autism here.

You haven't been around the internet for very long then.

I'm so tiered of people pretending to have a disability just so they can have an excuse to act the way they want, troll around and still be defended and pitied.

[Red Fel]

Bartmanhomer: Here's the point. Threads, generally speaking, are a conversation. (An exception exists in the form of the various guides and campaign journals that pop up, but I think we can agree that this is not one of those.) That means that when you post a thread, you are anticipating a response. Make sense?

Now, let's say I had a really nice piece of toast for breakfast. If I posted a thread that said that, and no more, what's the conversation? I don't mean a "What's your favorite breakfast food? Mine's toast," type of thread. I mean a thread that says, only and simply, "I had a great piece of toast this morning."

That's not a conversation. That's a statement.

You make a lot of threads like that. That's not an insult, it's just a fact; you make a lot of threads that amount to, "This is a thing I did, period," rather than a conversation. And while sometimes it's nice (for example, it's great that you helped someone out in the forum), you can see the reaction that results. It's fine to post not-conversations in a more one-sided medium, like Facebook or a blog, but on a forum, there's an understanding of a back-and-forth, and a one-sided post really isn't conducive to that.

This thread is a good illustration. Is it a bad thing that you helped someone? Certainly not. But posting to say, "Hey guys, I did a nice thing, bye now," isn't a conversation. It's shouting into the void. And as you can see, it doesn't necessarily invite the nicest response.

So here's my advice. When you decide to post a thread, before you hit the Submit button, ask yourself this question: "What kind of conversation am I starting?" And if the answer is, "I'm not starting a conversation," either don't post the thread, or come up with a way to turn it into a conversation before posting it.

Make sense?

[Murk]

I think in the end, the pizza lady thread didn't get locked. It would be a shame if this one did get locked because people started making assumptions about other people's personal lives.

I for one am glad to see that Bartmanhomer followed the example of the pizza lady by being nice to others, even though the pizza lady was a little more discrete about it.


EDIT: Red Fel is being very nice in the post above this one and offers good, sincere advise. While that is strangely uncharacteristic and a bit scary, it is still good advise.

[Bartmanhomer]

Bartmanhomer: Here's the point. Threads, generally speaking, are a conversation. (An exception exists in the form of the various guides and campaign journals that pop up, but I think we can agree that this is not one of those.) That means that when you post a thread, you are anticipating a response. Make sense?

Now, let's say I had a really nice piece of toast for breakfast. If I posted a thread that said that, and no more, what's the conversation? I don't mean a "What's your favorite breakfast food? Mine's toast," type of thread. I mean a thread that says, only and simply, "I had a great piece of toast this morning."

That's not a conversation. That's a statement.

You make a lot of threads like that. That's not an insult, it's just a fact; you make a lot of threads that amount to, "This is a thing I did, period," rather than a conversation. And while sometimes it's nice (for example, it's great that you helped someone out in the forum), you can see the reaction that results. It's fine to post not-conversations in a more one-sided medium, like Facebook or a blog, but on a forum, there's an understanding of a back-and-forth, and a one-sided post really isn't conducive to that.

This thread is a good illustration. Is it a bad thing that you helped someone? Certainly not. But posting to say, "Hey guys, I did a nice thing, bye now," isn't a conversation. It's shouting into the void. And as you can see, it doesn't necessarily invite the nicest response.

So here's my advice. When you decide to post a thread, before you hit the Submit button, ask yourself this question: "What kind of conversation am I starting?" And if the answer is, "I'm not starting a conversation," either don't post the thread, or come up with a way to turn it into a conversation before posting it.

Make sense?
I'm sorry if some people took some offense with this thread. It was never my intend to start drama. My apology again. :frown:

[Red Fel]

EDIT: Red Fel is being very nice in the post above this one and offers good, sincere advise. While that is strangely uncharacteristic and a bit scary, it is still good advise.

I assure you, I am no altruist; my intentions are purely selfish.

I solemnly swear that I am up to no good.


I'm sorry if some people took some offense with this thread. It was never my intend to start drama. My apology again. :frown:

Easy, chief. Don't apologize. Just look at it as a learning experience, take what you can from it, and move on as a more improved version of yourself.

[Bartmanhomer]

I assure you, I am no altruist; my intentions are purely selfish.

I solemnly swear that I am up to no good.



Easy, chief. Don't apologize. Just look at it as a learning experience, take what you can from it, and move on as a more improved version of yourself.

OK I will. :smile:

[Jon_Dahl]

Speak for yourself. You're in no position to be claiming "we all" do anything.

Say that to my face.

http://i.imgur.com/GB1oahV.jpg

[SaintRidley]

Say that to my face.


Jon_Dahl's face, speak for yourself and stop assuming that you are representative of anyone but yourself.

[Lemmy]

You did a good thing.

Bragging might not be classy, but it isn't wrong either. Even if you did it solely to brag (and I'm not saying that's the case), you still did a good thing and made the world a little better for someone else. Keep it up.

IMHO, good actions should be praised and rewarded, not dismissed or diminished just because the doer decided to tell others. :smallsmile:

[Bartmanhomer]

You did a good thing.

Bragging might not be classy, but it isn't wrong either. Even if you did it solely to brag (and I'm not saying that's the case), you still did a good thing and made the world a little better for someone else. Keep it up.

IMHO, good actions should be praised and rewarded, not dismissed or diminished just because the doer decided to tell others. :smallsmile:

Thank you. :smile:

[Peelee]

"A high school student wrote to ask, 'What was the greatest event in American history?' I can't say. However, I suspect that like so many 'great' events, it was something very simple and very quiet with little or no fanfare (such as someone forgiving someone else for a deep hurt that eventually changed the course of history). The really important 'great' things are never center stage of life's dramas; they're always 'in the wings.' That's why it's so essential for us to be mindful of the humble and the deep rather than the flashy and the superficial." - Fred Rogers

Bartmanhomer, you did a great thing. Posting about it on a forum is not so great, as you can see from the replies here, but that doesn't make what you did any less great. Red Fel has some of the best advice in this thread; that was great in several ways, because this also became a learning experience. So don't feel bad when people offer advice, because they're just trying to help. Which is great.

[Bartmanhomer]

"A high school student wrote to ask, 'What was the greatest event in American history?' I can't say. However, I suspect that like so many 'great' events, it was something very simple and very quiet with little or no fanfare (such as someone forgiving someone else for a deep hurt that eventually changed the course of history). The really important 'great' things are never center stage of life's dramas; they're always 'in the wings.' That's why it's so essential for us to be mindful of the humble and the deep rather than the flashy and the superficial." - Fred Rogers

Bartmanhomer, you did a great thing. Posting about it on a forum is not so great, as you can see from the replies here, but that doesn't make what you did any less great. Red Fel has some of the best advice in this thread; that was great in several ways, because this also became a learning experience. So don't feel bad when people offer advice, because they're just trying to help. Which is great.

I just thought posting about it was a good idea at first but I didn't know it would lead to that much drama. :frown:

[Red Fel]

I just thought posting about it was a good idea at first but I didn't know it would lead to that much drama. :frown:

We're on the internet. Everything leads to drama.

[Strigon]

We're on the internet. Everything leads to drama.

You take that back! How dare you!
You vacuous, toffee-nosed, malodorous pervert!

[Red Fel]

You vacuous, toffee-nosed, malodorous pervert!

Yes, but I came here for an argument!

[Bartmanhomer]

We're on the internet. Everything leads to drama.

I just wish this thread will have a better outcome than all this drama. I have to learn the hard way and learn from it.

[Murk]

I just wish this thread will have a better outcome than all this drama. I have to learn the hard way and learn from it.

What outcome did you wish for?
When you made this thread, what did you hope would happen? What responses did you hope for?

[Bartmanhomer]

What outcome did you wish for?
When you made this thread, what did you hope would happen? What responses did you hope for?
I thought I'll get positive response to other members in this forum. :frown:

[Murk]

I thought I'll get positive response to other members in this forum. :frown:

Hm, yeah, I can understand that. It's not really what most threads here are for, but at least I can see where you're coming from.
Oh well, lesson learned, I guess. :smallwink:

[lio45]

I like you, BartmanHomer, and I appreciate your threads and your insight. I wouldn't feel offended at all if you spoke about my private messages. Relax and just be yourself, we all like you.

Anything I choose to put on the internet, I'm ready for it to be "leaked" to the public, so I also wouldn't feel offended if PMs from me were made public, but as others pointed out already, the correct general advice to give to someone who's struggling with social norms and conventions is that private conversations should be kept private unless the other party agrees.

[Bartmanhomer]

Anything I choose to put on the internet, I'm ready for it to be "leaked" to the public, so I also wouldn't feel offended if PMs from me were made public, but as others pointed out already, the correct general advice to give to someone who's struggling with social norms and conventions is that private conversations should be kept private unless the other party agrees.

Yes you, Red Fel and everybody else are right about it. I should really take everybody advice's and learn from it.

[GrayGriffin]

I thought I'll get positive response to other members in this forum. :frown:

I feel people would have more positive responses if, for example, you posted a thread asking what nice things other people had done recently, and then mentioned what you had done. As Red Fel said, threads in a forum are a form of conversation.

[Bartmanhomer]

I feel people would have more positive responses if, for example, you posted a thread asking what nice things other people had done recently, and then mentioned what you had done. As Red Fel said, threads in a forum are a form of conversation.
I move on to remember to take people advice. As Red Del said.