What's the silliest (Semi) functional build you've ever played in 5e?

[Arenabait]

I don't mean the character themselves so much as the hard mechanical stats. This was prompted by the character build for "The Flock" Posted earlier this week.

[Naanomi]

It isn't 'super wild' but I'm playing a Hill Dwarf Wild Sorcerer who hates their own Magic so I took no spells with material components... still function fairly well

[X3r4ph]

We rolle random characters in my group. Race, background and the combination of two classes.

I rolled a Goliath Druid of the Land 8/ Paladin of the Ancients 4. My preferred weapon was a small tree (maul) or huge rocks (Got enchanted with Magic Stone. DM let me treat them as 3d6 weapons with 5ft range.)

It had potential, but then we encountered a Beholder, and then I rolled a new character that is still a live to this day. (Sorcerer Shadow 10/ Swashbuckler Rogue 5)

But, it was a fun single session.

[Foxhound438]

dart throwing sharpshooter EK/ rogue

[The Shadowdove]

dexterity fighter that would use a whip in their main hand and nets,caltrops, ball bearings, etc in their offhand.

They'd kite with mobile feat and crossbow expert.

[silveralen]

I made rogue mastermind+ ranger beastmaster (no spells variant) whose entire shtick was never attacking the enemy.

So he had some healing with rally and poultices and lots of ways to grant his team advantage between mastermind, the mastiff (who got to boost his trip DC by my prof thanks to a kind DM) and eventually a net to use alongside the mastiff, plus commander strike for allowing our paladin an extra big hit when needed.

It wasn't by any means a really strong build, but it was fun and silly.

[Sariel Vailo]

mgic mike thalf orc bardbarian bard 6/barbarian 14. to inspire people i would dance seductively or sing. my dm allowed me to use my assets out of combat it was fuuuun

[SpawnOfMorbo]

Came into a level 4 group... They said they might make it to level 5 at some point but was mostly doing a series of one shots.

So I brought Cid.

Half-Orc Soldier Valor Bard Level 4

Str: 16
Dex:10
Con: 16
Int: 14
Wis: 12
Cha : 8

AC: Heavy Armor + Shield (18+)
HP: 35

Feat: Heavily Armored (Heavy Armor Prof, +1 Str)

Expertise in Athletics and Arcana
Additional Skills: History, Investigation, Intimidation

------
Tactics

The Bard has an amazing spell list, even before magical secrets gets underway. However, my tactics were a bit more brutish.

I would run around using the help action and after a target got hit once or twice, I would cast sleep on them.

Casting Time: 1 action
Range: 90 feet
Components: V, S, M (a pinch of fine sand, rose petals, or a cricket)
Duration: 1 minute

This spell sends creatures into a magical slumber. Roll 5d8; the total is how many hit points of creatures this spell can affect. Creatures within 20 feet of a point you choose within range are affected in ascending order of their current hit points (ignoring unconscious creatures).
Starting with the creature that has the lowest current hit points, each creature affected by this spell falls unconscious until the spell ends, the sleeper takes damage, or someone uses an action to shake or slap the sleeper awake. Subtract each creature’s hit points from the total before moving on to the creature with the next lowest hit points. A creature’s hit points must be equal to or less than the remaining total for that creature to be affected.

Undead and creatures immune to being charmed aren’t affected by this spell.

At Higher Levels: When you cast this spell using a spell slot of 2nd level or higher, roll an additional 2d8 for each slot level above 1st.

You get a crit, you get a crit, you get a crit! I get a crit.

Honestly this would do best with a fighter MC but I found this build to be hilariously funny.

Also pretty good as out of combat character.

[Potato_Priest]

This wasn't me, but one of my friends played a halfling that dual wielded lances from the back of a panther. Ranger Beastmaster 3/Fighter 6.

[Naanomi]

This wasn't me, but one of my friends played a halfling that dual wielded lances from the back of a panther. Ranger Beastmaster 3/Fighter 6.
Anything riding something rediculous can count... Giant crab riding Kobold pirate? Master svirfneblin spelunker on the Giant centipede?

[Potato_Priest]

Anything riding something rediculous can count... Giant crab riding Kobold pirate? Master svirfneblin spelunker on the Giant centipede?

I think the ridiculous part is the lances, personally.

[Naanomi]

I think the ridiculous part is the lances, personally.
Well yeah, but wouldn't it have been slightly sillier from the back of a giant crab that was grappling the enemy?

[Potato_Priest]

Well yeah, but wouldn't it have been slightly sillier from the back of a giant crab that was grappling the enemy?

wouldn't have worked nearly as well for a few reasons:
A) Giant crabs are slower and less dextrous than panthers, makig them more vulnerable to AOE, and don't have a climb speed, making getting them around in a dungeon kind of a pain. Think about ladders.
B) To grapple an enemy, you need to be within 5 feet of them, making the lance attacks on disadvantage
C) He would have had to sacrifice his own powerful lance attacks for lame crab attacks.

[Crusher]

Dexter Manley, the World's Greatest Wizard! Was a Mountain Dwarf Wizard with a 16 STR and an 8 INT so he'd melee with his axe, wore medium armor and cast buff and utility spells. He was really insecure about his low INT which he compensated for by being unreasonably overconfident in his magic prowess.

[Garresh]

Fighter 1/Warlock 1/Wizard X

Warcaster. Heavy Armor Master. Shield + Sword with Duelist fighting style. Abjurer Wizard.

Basically run around with Abjurer's Ward + Armor of Agathys + Heavy Armor Master damage reduction. Booming Blade strikes for decent melee damage. Can haste for extra attacks. If not hasted its like 2d8+5 damage. Otherwise 3d8+10.

You have 3 health bars, with damage reduction. People who hit you take damage. People who try to run past you get Booming Bladed and told to sit the f**k down. You become the ultimate frontline tank gish. Its great.

[Goober4473]

I played a "Kung Fu Panda" for a little bit; a Monk/Moon Druid. The DM was lenient about the interaction between animal attacks and monk abilities, so natural weapons counted as monk weapons, and using Multiattack counted as the Attack action. This brought it from being kind of pointless to fairly viable.

I never really turned into a panda, though. I was mostly a dire wolf, giant spider, or giant octopus.

[Naanomi]

Pokémon Master: Chainlock 3/Beastmaster 17; take the attack action, but give both of your attacks to pets

[Cap'm Bubbles]

The Chair Rogue.
Build a rogue, focusing on strength and dex, take tavern brawler and skulker. Tavern brawler grants proficiency in improvised weapons, and skulker keeps you hidden if you miss. Technically, a thrown weapon is ranged, qualifying for sneak attack. Throw in the crit from assassin, and carry around extra furniture for sillies. Had a little bit of fun before being killed by my bad decisions.

[Crusher]

Oh, I almost forgot, I have another one who I haven't actually played yet but I think will prove silly.

Anders Goodbarrel, Alemancer Extraordinaire

Halfling Divination Wizard, will eventually take the Lucky feat at level 4. Gets to re-roll 1s, plus gets to replace 2 rolls per long rest with his Divination rolls (whatever they're called), plus gets to re-roll 3 rolls per long rest.

The Gods protect fools, drunkards and children. Which one are you?

Anders doubled down on drunkard.

[Cespenar]

Deadshot.

Any character taking Tavern Brawler and Sharpshooter. Can be an Assassin or Battlemaster, maybe a combination of both. Just throw a toothpick or playing card for some funny damage.

John Cena

Mentioned this a couple times before, but it's always fun. Thief/Barbarian, expertise on Athletics, rage for advantage, then grapple people, climb on buildings/trees/etc. with your Thief ability and drop the guy.

[Anderlith]

I havent played it yet but i want to play a hermit Raven Queen warlock/Old Favored Soul Sorcerer of Odin. Fluff the Raven Queen as Odin. Run around with two ravens on my shoulders (Find Familiar or maybe a disguised Imp using pact of the chain being the second, throwing the shadow of Gungnir (EB) at foes. My hermit discovery being somekind of prophecy i learned when i popped my eye out to prove my devotion. Idk how powerful/viable itll be.

[Dustrusk]

I suppose for me that would be THE ULTIMATE POWERSLAMMER

For this build you will want to max strength, but since you also must also get enough stats to multiclass, your strength might not be amazing. Go Monk for 4 levels and take the Athlete feat, and Druid for at least one level taking the spells Longstrider and Jump. After that its your choice whether to take levels in Fighter, one more level in Monk, or more levels in Druid. You will want to max Athletics so a one level dip into Rouge for Expertise is very good as well if you have the stats to do so.

This is a bit complicated but I will do my best to explain it. The reason you want to max Athletics is because this build relies heavily on grappling. Cast Jump and Longstrider on yourself. You currently have a move speed of 50(30 + Longstrider 10 + unarmored Monk 10). You will want to start your turn either next to an enemy and then grapple them, or already be grappling them at the beginning of your turn. Take the Step of the Wind action to Dash and double your Jump height. Since your move speed is being doubled and halved(due to grappling) it is currently 50. Take a 5 foot step and jump into the skies. Lets assume you have a strength of 16. This gives you a jump height of 6 feet and is being both tripled(Jump spell) and doubled(Step of the Wind) making it 36 feet(42 feet at 18 strength and 48 feet at 20). At the peak of your jump, throw your enemy towards the ground making them take 3d6 fall damage or 4d6 if you manage to jump 40 feet. If your DM is nice they may even allow you to body slam them and make them take additional damage. You take little to no fall damage due to the Monk's Slow Fall feature, and as an added bonus, the Athlete feat also helps in getting up from prone if you do take any since taking fall damage knocks you prone. General combat actions when not Jumping like a madman are shoving your target prone and pummeling them with your fists. While a target is grappled and prone, they cannot get up from being prone until they break the grapple as it takes movement to get up from prone, and while grappled an opponents movement is 0. Remember that Grappling and Shoving are both under the Attack action so Extra Attacks can also be used to grapple and shove. There is a lot more you can do with this build at later levels such as applying fighter maneuvers and stunning strikes with flurry of blows, and casting Spike Growth and dragging your opponent all of over the spikes, but I don't feel like writing a wall of text.

[Farecry]

Oh, I almost forgot, I have another one who I haven't actually played yet but I think will prove silly.

Anders Goodbarrel, Alemancer Extraordinaire

Halfling Divination Wizard, will eventually take the Lucky feat at level 4. Gets to re-roll 1s, plus gets to replace 2 rolls per long rest with his Divination rolls (whatever they're called), plus gets to re-roll 3 rolls per long rest.

The Gods protect fools, drunkards and children. Which one are you?

Anders doubled down on drunkard.

Throw in some lore bard for cutting words/bardic inspiration. Maybe so wild-magic sorcerer for twist of fate.

[silveralen]

Pokémon Master: Chainlock 3/Beastmaster 17; take the attack action, but give both of your attacks to pets

Dang, I should've done this for mine. Didn't realize chain pact can have his attack.

[TentacleSurpris]

Pokémon Master: Chainlock 3/Beastmaster 17; take the attack action, but give both of your attacks to pets

DId you play this character? Because I do not think you actually played this character.

[jaappleton]

Warforged Bard, who wore a monocle and top hat.

Still regret missing the opportunity to name him Optimus Rhyme.

[Naanomi]

DId you play this character? Because I do not think you actually played this character.
No, it was played at my table though (died at level 9)

[Madbox]

Klarg da Magykian. A half orc barbarian who was convinced that he was a magician and would go to ridiculous lengths to replicate various spells with mundane objects. Alchemist fire became fire bolt. Javelins were magic missiles. Rage was whatever abjuration spell he wanted. Healing potions were Cure Wounds, since he was such a master of all things magical that he could cast divine magic in addition to arcane. He had a pet rock familiar, and it gave teammates advantage on attacks (wolf totem barbarian). He bought a blank spellbook, and proceeded to doodle his "spells" in.

He was so sure that he was a great spellcaster. He even had proof, he had invented his own spell! It was called pointyburnymeltyDEATH. Its material component was a sack filled with 400gp of alchemist fire, acid, oil, and caltrops. The somatic component was making a melee attack on the target with the sack. No one argued about his status as a master magician after he showed that to them!

[Squibsallotl]

Dain "Ghosthands"

Double-amputee (missing both arms) dwarven wild magic sorcerer who could use Mage Hand to summon 2x hands (DM houserule). Since the mage hands can only lift 10lb each I needed assistance to put on my pack or don armor.

Backstory is he used to be a fighter, was captured by Drow and had his arms cut off for their amusement. The pain awoke his sorcerous ability, he summoned the mage hands and used them to draw weapons and fight his way out.

[Afrodactyl]

I used an elderly moon druid/chain warlock hermit once. His familiar was a sprite, and he was convinced of two things;
1. No one else can see or hear the sprite.
2. The sprite was his God incarnate, and would do everything the sprite said.

It was pretty fun being this frail old man with good mental stats that then turns into a bear when it all kicks off in the tavern.

[Sariel Vailo]

"through the fire and the flames we hug it out"
Scourge aasimar barbarian axe stupide or battle rager all levels just well ya know hug it out.
sometimes he will enter combat and scream outloud do you have a problem fool dost thou need to cuddle bro dost thou need to cuddle. with a very serious mask over his face

[mr-mercer]

I'm not experienced enough with these games to have any really crazy ideas, but I've come up with the fun idea of a barbarian with a rapier, who ignores the finesse property entirely for the purposes of grabbing someone and then stabbing them repeatedly, preferably while screaming profanities in their face. Not the most out-there idea, but a fun one nonetheless. He's an ex-pirate.

[Sariel Vailo]

I'm not experienced enough with these games to have any really crazy ideas, but I've come up with the fun idea of a barbarian with a rapier, who ignores the finesse property entirely for the purposes of grabbing someone and then stabbing them repeatedly, preferably while screaming profanities in their face. Not the most out-there idea, but a fun one nonetheless. He's an ex-pirate.

Its actually ferry good if you pick the right barbarian path

[RickAllison]

Its actually ferry good if you pick the right barbarian path

Very good for a tanking build, actually.

[mr-mercer]

Its actually ferry good if you pick the right barbarian path


Very good for a tanking build, actually.

Huh, I wouldn't have expected that. I suppose that, given that 1d8 is the highest damage die a one-handed weapon can have, it would be pretty nice for grappling and keeping enemies away from your allies. I guess I'll be better set up when using this character than I thought. Fenceman McStabby is going to be fun, one way or another.

[RickAllison]

Huh, I wouldn't have expected that. I suppose that, given that 1d8 is the highest damage die a one-handed weapon can have, it would be pretty nice for grappling and keeping enemies away from your allies. I guess I'll be better set up when using this character than I thought. Fenceman McStabby is going to be fun, one way or another.

There certainly are more optimal ways of doing things, but it certainly isn't a bad one. The only advantage that a one-handed weapon style like that would gain from something besides a rapier would be the ability to move to a d10 when not grappling through the versatile property.

When you don't expect to be grappling, throw a shield on your off hand. If you have good Dex and Con, you can get one of the highest permanent ACs in the game through such a build. Probably not your character based on the description, but it is an option.

[mr-mercer]

There certainly are more optimal ways of doing things, but it certainly isn't a bad one. The only advantage that a one-handed weapon style like that would gain from something besides a rapier would be the ability to move to a d10 when not grappling through the versatile property.

When you don't expect to be grappling, throw a shield on your off hand. If you have good Dex and Con, you can get one of the highest permanent ACs in the game through such a build. Probably not your character based on the description, but it is an option.

You're right in that this isn't precisely what I was thinking of (I do honestly tend to forgo being optimal if I think something seems interesting) but I think there's quite a bit of this that would be worth using: more options are always good, and I can't really think of any reason why the character would flat-out refuse a shield. Thank you for your advice: you've given me a lot more to think about with this character than I'd expected, which is always a good sign.

[Maxilian]

You're right in that this isn't precisely what I was thinking of (I do honestly tend to forgo being optimal if I think something seems interesting) but I think there's quite a bit of this that would be worth using: more options are always good, and I can't really think of any reason why the character would flat-out refuse a shield. Thank you for your advice: you've given me a lot more to think about with this character than I'd expected, which is always a good sign.

And for the Ex-pirate theme, take this as your shield

https://wiki.guildwars2.com/images/thumb/7/7d/Pirate_Shield.jpg/168px-Pirate_Shield.jpg

Or

http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-FBsw0tTMkNk/TpINenEFAJI/AAAAAAAAARI/N7TwYR0-kDc/s400/shield+ship.png

[Maxilian]

Shifter Wizard (Artificer) 4/ Ranger Beastmaster 6/ Rogue 2

And... this was a Grappler build (Artificer give you the ability to create Enlarge potion (that last from 1 to 4 Hours)), that basically let my Shifter transformation grapple most of my enemies, my pet was a Pterodactyl (reflavored into a Flying Wolf)

http://www.headinjurytheater.com/images/d&d%20beasts%20%20senmurv%20gay%20pride.jpg
People dislike this mob, but i kind of love it

That could work as my mount if i enlarged it, and it was fun as hell

[mr-mercer]

And for the Ex-pirate theme, take this as your shield

https://wiki.guildwars2.com/images/thumb/7/7d/Pirate_Shield.jpg/168px-Pirate_Shield.jpg

Or

http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-FBsw0tTMkNk/TpINenEFAJI/AAAAAAAAARI/N7TwYR0-kDc/s400/shield+ship.png

Oh my, those are really quite nice. I'll definitely have to use one of these: you have my thanks.