Four edgy loners in the same bar

[Foxhound438]

So they all happen to come in at about the same time, and there just so happens to be one unoccupied, shadowy corner booth. They all want to sit in there alone, but obviously all four start towards it at the same time, and notice that there's suddenly competition for the spot they want to go to.

So what happens next? Best story gets an edge point, GO!

[Hawkstar]

They proceed to travel alone together out into the wilderness after not having a conversation, fight against a few random encounters while trying to look as cool and edgy as possible and totally not dependent on each other, and then kill a dragon by simultaneously saving each other (Well, in reverse initiative order) from the dragon at the end of the trip.

[Newtonsolo313]

So they all happen to come in at about the same time, and there just so happens to be one unoccupied, shadowy corner booth. They all want to sit in there alone, but obviously all four start towards it at the same time, and notice that there's suddenly competition for the spot they want to go to.

So what happens next? Best story gets an edge point, GO!

They all try and hit on the one female humanoid in the bar?

[Laserlight]

They spontaneously and inexplicably join together as a dysfunctional team and repeatedly risk near-certain death attempting to retrieve a 5000gp magic item so they can split a 100gp reward promised by an eccentric old man they'd never heard of before.

[CantigThimble]

Edgelord #1 uses his secret long forgotten mind control technique to persuade the others to just leave him alone. However, Edgelord #2 is a drow and is, therefore, unaffected, Edgelord #3 is a member of an ancient race of extinct blue-skinned humanoids with black runes carved into their skin (the ones on his right nipple protect from mind control) and edgelord #4 is possessed by a fox spirit, so of course he's immune.

Edgelord #2, the drow, tries to use his natural magic to shift the edgy darkness to another corner of the room where he can sit alone, but the fox spirit possessing #4 and the runes carved on #3's left shin absorb the magic, shrouding them in edgy darkness instead. This reminds him of how his mother always used to take everything that ever mattered to him with the power of Lolth and he flees, just barely holding back tears down a back alley. He slips on mud, faceplants into a barrel and doesn't awake for two hours. However, as it turns out this is a pretty nice town that doesn't have much prejudice against drow. The local priest takes him in and he awakes comforted and restored just in time for a jovial family dinner. This is much worse for him than if he had awakened beaten and robbed in a back alley with "Get out drow scum" written on the wall.

Edgelord #3, the ancient humanoid covered in runes and now shrouded in magical darkness sulks away to the bar, silently bemoaning the heavy burdens he must bear in sharing the edgy table with people that just don't understand him and goes to the bar to ask for his favorite drink. The bartender has no clue what he's talking about (that drink hasn't existed in 2000 years) and just gives him a beer. #3 again silently bemoans his eternal state as an outsider in a society that just doesn't understand him. Then the other three members of his ancient near extinct race drag him over to their table for small talk and a game of crokinole.

Edgelord #4, the human possessed by a fox spirit, becomes overwhelmed by the weight of civilization on his free spirit and flees to the nearby woods to sulk alone on a tree stump, the death of the tree signifying the loss of natural beauty for the sake of human progress in the town. Unfortunately, he is beset by adorable bunnies and songbirds which totally ruin the vibe he was going for.

Edgelord #1 is completely oblivious to the fact that his mind control has failed, as all three others have left the table, and takes his rightful place in the corner. Unfortunately, the reason the corner table was unoccupied was the leak in the roof right above it and the rain the night before. His pants are soaked instantly and water begins dripping onto the top of his hood. He holds completely still for fear of ruining his image.

[Uzgul]

Seeing each other they suddenly realise that all that edginess was just a compensation for social fears. Then they decide to form a self-help group and adventure together.
(This might actually a pretty funny concept for a one shot.)

[Hrugner]

The first edgelord says to the others, "I was mind controlled and forced to murder my mother and need to watch the door in case the guards show up. Clearly I need the corner seat."
The second edgelord says "My mother was murdered by my father while giving birth to me, clearly I have suffered the most and deserve the corner seat."
The third edgelord said "My mother was a dragon, and she died before I even hatched leaving me alone with no race to call my own. Clearly I deserve the corner seat."
The fourth edgelord said "Well, my mother is alive, and she didn't leave me alone as a half dragon bastard, and I'm not wanted by the guard, but if you guys let me have the corner seat my mother will buy our drinks."
"clearly you deserve the corner seat" the others replied.

[Foxhound438]

snip

Excellent. Currently in the lead, by my judgement.

[Potato_Priest]

snip

I like how yours takes on the format of a fable.

[Callin]

They stare at each other for a few hours, and then try to get behind each other for a sneak attack forming an ever shifting line back out the door where the rising sun vaporizes them.

[Cespenar]

The first edgelord says to the others, "I was mind controlled and forced to murder my mother and need to watch the door in case the guards show up. Clearly I need the corner seat."
The second edgelord says "My mother was murdered by my father while giving birth to me, clearly I have suffered the most and deserve the corner seat."
The third edgelord said "My mother was a dragon, and she died before I even hatched leaving me alone with no race to call my own. Clearly I deserve the corner seat."
The fourth edgelord said "Well, my mother is alive, and she didn't leave me alone as a half dragon bastard, and I'm not wanted by the guard, but if you guys let me have the corner seat my mother will buy our drinks."
"clearly you deserve the corner seat" the others replied.

This reminds me of the Paladin-Off in OotS. Edge-Off could be a thing.

By the way, this is a fine thread. Cheers to the OP.

[Joe the Rat]

Seeing each other they suddenly realise that all that edginess was just a compensation for social fears. Then they decide to form a self-help group and adventure together.
(This might actually a pretty funny concept for a one shot.)

Oh, this would definitely be a fun one to put together. General broody character archetypes, or specific parodies?

[Foxhound438]

Oh, this would definitely be a fun one to put together. General broody character archetypes, or specific parodies?

I would just go for the "general broody" and see what the players can come up with.

[KorvinStarmast]

So they all happen to come in at about the same time, and there just so happens to be one unoccupied, shadowy corner booth. They all want to sit in there alone, but obviously all four start towards it at the same time, and notice that there's suddenly competition for the spot they want to go to.

So what happens next? Best story gets an edge point, GO!
The halfling dashes to the booth, sneaks under the table and ends up sitting down facing the other three as they approach the booth. He grins at the lady, and points to the spot next to him. The lady looks at the broad shouldered man to her right, and when he returns her gaze she sits down.
The tall, lanky male takes the bow off of his shoulder and looks at the broad shouldered man, then with a gesture indicates that he'll wait until the broad shouldered man sits down.
He then looks at all three and says:
"You're probably wondering why I called you all here tonight." His face betrays a trace of a smile; he seems amused at his own jest.
He pauses, and looks directly at the halfling.
"Short stuff, since you failed to first offer the lady a seat, you are buying the first round."
His face loses its mild trace of mirth as he fixes his gray blue eyes on the halfling's brown eyes.

(DM roles intimidation check at this point).

The halfling stands on the table and calls out in a rich brogue
"We're dying of thirst over here, can any of you serving maids bring us a few pints?"

The tall, lanky male sits down, pulls out a pouch and places it on the table. He removes three intact leaves, and on each places a small pile of cured leaf. He looks up and smiles gently at the rest.

"Who'd care for a smoke while we wait for our drinks?"

[Anderlith]

I kinda like the idea of a nice humble paladin adventurer retiring. He dealt with a lot of edgy loners during his travels & wants to mess with them, building a tavern building it into a teardrop shape so as to have only one single shadowy corner. He names it the Single Manly Tear.

Whenever a broody loner approaches the corner seat a man sitting there wearing a ring of invisiblity takes it off & makes the loner an offer to do some kind of good mission to help the town. The man is the retired valet/bateman of the paladin hired to wear the old ring the paladin found as treasure. The paladin does all of this to help encourage the loners to do good works (& maybe helping the loner not be so edgy) & to help the town now that he is to old to kill kobolds.

[Cespenar]

A perfect circular bar would be interesting. It would either draw infinite edgelords, or none, depending on how you look at it. :smalltongue:

[Lord Raziere]

They all declare that "you'll never understand what its like to be me!" at the same time. They then proceed to all smile and go "Finally! somebody that understands! Lets be edgelords TOGETHER!"

They then share their backstories, then each one starts proclaiming the other is more edgy than themselves in mutual friendship. of course when someone outside the group comes by and asks what they're doing they automatically go back to being broody and sullen and proclaim "nothing. We're all just walking in the same direction alone on the dark path of edginess!"

so when that person leaves, they go back to talking amiably again.

[Cespenar]

They all declare that "you'll never understand what its like to be me!" at the same time. They then proceed to all smile and go "Finally! somebody that understands! Lets be edgelords TOGETHER!"

They then share their backstories, then each one starts proclaiming the other is more edgy than themselves in mutual friendship. of course when someone outside the group comes by and asks what they're doing they automatically go back to being broody and sullen and proclaim "nothing. We're all just walking in the same direction alone on the dark path of edginess!"

so when that person leaves, they go back to talking amiably again.

Sort of like a regular D&D group? :smalltongue:

[Menzath]

Their eyes cross, each pauses for a moment, before they break into a quick stride to reach the table first(as they are so edgy, the cannot ruin their image by running) the tallest one(a half-orc gets Into the lead by a hand and a smirk shows on his face.
As the group of edge Lords are about to get to the table, they all slam Into something. (Edge Lords have bad reflex saves)
The bartender and other patrons turn to stare, and a great amount of laughter ensues.
The bartender shouts "those edge Lords fall for it every time!"
As the edge Lords stand and come to their senses, they realize why no one is sitting at the corner table, it's an incredibly elaborate painting of a corner table on a rounded part of the wall(the highest spot check was 3 off edge Lords, get investigation!).
The edge Lords then lament in shame about how no one TRULY understands them and March out of the tavern in edgy shame.
Fin.

[Laurefindel]

Edgelord #1 wears a black cloak with a hood to conceal his worn face, not so much deformed by age but by his EVIL. As he notices the others, he casts witchbolt on a bystander to show is superiority and his true EVIL. He then proceeds to sit regally at the end of the table on the throne-like chair, laughing softly with his crackling voice.

Edgelord #2 wears a black armor and a black helmet which he never takes off, at least not in public. Yes he’s ugly under that hat but he doesn’t care about that; it’s all a about image! That means no beer for him though, which kind of sucks cause he’d be down for a fresh one. As he was thinking that, the barman comes asking “are you actually gonna order something this time around?” Edgelord #2 turns around saying “I find your lack of hospitality disturbing” and then casts telekinesis to choke him at a distance, although he’s like only 3 feet away. Again, it’s all about image…

Edgelord #3 is not surprised to see the others; he actually came to see edgelord #2 to convince him to take his helmet off. It’s a longshot but he knows that under his edgy demeanor, there’s still GOOD in him. Edgelord #1 is delighted to see edgelord #3 because has foreseen that he would replace edgelord #2 at his side, who has been useful for a while but now is starting to wear old with all the choking and stuff. He nods in approval at his new black attire, but edgelord #3 is actually there to FIGHT his dark destiny, ‘cause that’s what edgy people do. Except of course, when they rabble about how it’s not their fault, that it’s their fate to become like this and that. Well, edgy people are not always consistent…

Edgelord #4 comes in a bit late, notices that his favorite table is taken already. Visibly upset, the draws his longsword and starts hacking frantically at shelves and stacks of empty kegs. People around him, annoyed but seemingly used to his antics, give him a wide berth and just let him be.

And so it is that edgelord #2 proceeds toward the table. Edgelord #1 is there already, as usual. Edgelord #1 is always there first, he’s always on top. He always thinks he’s the boss or something. Well, edgelord #2 has enough of it and grabs Edgelord #1, and throws him down the tavern’s well. But Edgelord #1 is not about to go down without a fight and casts witchbolt again. Edgelord #2 take a gazillion d12 damage on round 1, leaving him rather smokey, but laugh through round 2 and 3 cause witchbolt is a sucky spell. With that done, edgelord #2 leaves the tavern. All this excitement made him thirsty and this calls for a celebration! (but he’s not about to take his helmet off now, not after this edgy victory!)

Edgelord #3 yells at edgelord #2 through the door “Wait! Are you sure you don’t want to see me with your own eyes?” Edgelord #2 turns around: “Dude, it’s not like we’re related!” Edgelord #3 yells “No, that’s impossible!” and goes sulking on a deserted island like an hermit for a while.

In the meantime, edgelord #4 has calmed down. He looks like he’s sulking but he is secretly crying, ‘cause he loves his parents but he can’t let anyone know. That would totally ruin his edgy rep. At least the shady table is now free… Oh no, someone got there while he was sulking! But who is this?

“Messa have the best table!”