The Demented One
2007-07-23, 11:27 PM
Sigil Prep
Sigil Prep (http://www.sigilprep.com/index.htm) is an academy unlike any other. A great university at the heart of the very multiverse itself, home to the most learned of sages and erudite of scholars and...okay, so maybe more ditzy cheerleaders, thick-headed jocks, and sex-starved teens than great scholars, but close enough. In such a unique place, where the greatest of magical minds meet with the stupidest of teenage minds, it is almost inevitable that dozens of new spells will be invented, both useful and idiotic. Below is a record of some of the more popular spells to emerge from the hallowed halls of Sigil Prep...
Spell Lists
Assassin
3rd level
Alter EgoF: Take on another identity, gaining bonuses to abilities and skills, as well as additional class features.
Bard
0th level
Free Lunch: Conjure up spare change.
Gaydar: Discern creatures' sexual orientation and fetishes.
Light My Fire: Ignite a cigarette or cigar.
1st level
Booze Muse: Gain bonuses to Perform checks from ale.
Hoard Eye: Transform a coin into a magical sensor.
Leomund's Well-Stocked Alehouse: Create cabin stocked with booze.
Phantasmal Streaker: Create an illusory, naked double of yourself.
Psychic Paper: Convince target to see what you want them to see on a sheet of paper.
Spite: Turn two creatures hostile towards each other.
Togafy: Transform clothing into togas. Guaranteed to break the ice at parties.
2nd level
Bardic Battleaxe of Booze: Turn a guitar into a magic weapon.
Dimension Strip: Teleport away a creature’s clothes.
Slimeball: Summon a projectile of slippery, smelly slime.
Viral Gossip: Spread rumors about a person.
3rd level
Sonic Screwdriver: Turn a screwdriver (the cocktail, not the tool) into a sonic grendade.
4th level
Alter EgoF: Take on another identity, gaining bonuses to abilities and skills, as well as additional class features.
Days of Our One Life to Live: Trap target in a living soap opera.
Wall of Slime: Create a wall of slippery, smelly slime.
5th level
Toon Town: Laws of comedy and cartoons replace laws of physics.
6th level
Powder Keg: Infuse a keg of ale with explosive energy.
Wave of Tequila: Downpour of tequila knocks down, and intoxicates creatures.
Cleric
0th level
Gaydar: Discern creatures' sexual orientation and fetishes.
Water Trap: Opened item drenches opener with water.
1st level
Protection from Men: Ward subject against attack and mental control by male creatures.
Protection from Women: Ward subject against attack and mental control by female creatures.
3rd level
Coffee of Celerity: Summon coffee charged with elemental caffeine.
Magic Circle against Men: Magical circle wards against or traps male creatures.
Magic Circle against Women: Magical circle wards against or traps female creatures.
4th level
Alter EgoF: Take on another identity, gaining bonuses to abilities and skills, as well as additional class features.
Wet Willie of the Damned: Infernal wet willie deals 1d6 damage/level, gives penalty to mental ability scores.
5th level
Sneeze of Doom: Spread disease within a 60-ft. cone of mucus.
7th level
Coffee of Cosmic Awesomeness: Summon coffee of the gods.
Cleric Domains
Clerics that attend Sigil Prep find that they are capable of accessing new and...to be honest, pretty damn weird domains. Between being on the Outlands, having the Lady of Pain as a headmistress, and being Sigil Prep, it manages to warp the nature of divine energy. It’s pretty cool. These domains are not offered by any specific god, allowing almost every cleric to take them. However, some do have alignment restrictions, noted in their descriptions. Some spells in the following domains come from the Spell Compendium. They are marked with a *.
Drug Domain
Alignment: Only Chaotic Neutral, Neutral Evil, and Neutral Good Clerics can take the Drug domain.
Granted Power: You’re like, totally mellow, man. You gain a +3 resistance bonus on saves against effects that would alter your emotions, such as spells with the (fear) descriptor, or the rage or confusion spells.
1. Lesser Confusion: One creature is confused for 1 round.
2. Calm Emotions: Calms creatures, negating emotion effects.
3. Purple Haze: Cloud of "herbal vapors" calms emotions, imposes penalty to Intelligence and Wisdom.
4. Cone of Cannabis: Cone of marijuana smoke causes everyone to like, totally mellow out, man.
5. Memory Rot*: Spores deal 1d6 Int damage to subject, plus 1 Int drain/round.
6. Acid Rain: Rain of LSD dazes or confuses creatures.
7. Reefer Madness: Summon cannabis inside a creature’s body to render it catatonic.
8. Shroomsight: Gain effects of various divination spells...or have a really bad trip.
9. Programmed Amnesia*M: Destroy, alter, or replace memories in subject creature.
Nerd Domain
Granted Power: You gain a +2 competence bonus on all Knowledge checks, and can use all Knowledge skills untrained...NERD!
1. Grasp of Algebra: Touch attack deals math damage.
2. Fox’s Cunning: Subject gains +4 Int for 1 min./level.
3. Algebra Blast: Cone of algebra deals math damage.
4. Wall of Algebra: Create polygon-shaped wall of crystallized mathematical energy.
5. Common Courtesy: Counter others' spells, unless they ask permission.
6. Legend LoreM F: Lets you learn tales about a person, place, or thing.
7. Ray of Calculus: Fire a beam of pure mathematics.
8. Summon Character Sheet: Summon a piece of paper describing a person completely.
9. Army of Calculus: Summon multiple Math Elementals
Party Domain
Granted Power: You’re always the life of the party. You can expend a use of turn or rebuke undead to inspire courage, using your Cleric level in place of Bard levels to determine the bonus.
1. Togafy: Transform clothing into togas. Guaranteed to break the ice at parties.
2. Dimension Strip: Teleport away a creature’s clothes.
3. Good Hope: Subjects gain +2 on attack rolls, damage rolls, saves, and checks.
4. Illusory Feast*: Subjects become dazed by illusory food.
5. Power Word: Party!: Word of power compels creatures with less than 50 hp to dance.
6. Heroes’ Feast: Food for one creature/level cures and grants combat bonuses.
7. Mage’s Magnificent MansionF: Door leads to extradimensional mansion.
8. Irresistible Dance: Forces subject to dance.
9. Call to the Rave: Summon partygoing fey.
Druid
0th level
Gaydar: Discern creatures' sexual orientation and fetishes.
Water Trap: Opened item drenches opener with water.
3rd level
Coffee of Celerity: Summon coffee charged with elemental caffeine.
Purple Haze: Cloud of "herbal vapors" calms emotions, imposes penalty to Intelligence and Wisdom.
4th level
Cone of Cannabis: Cone of cannabis smoke causes everyone to like, totally mellow out, man.
Filthy Hippy Hair: Turn your hair into animated tentacles that can attack and grapple.
Wall of Slime: Create a wall of slippery, smelly slime.
5th level
Acid Rain: Rain of LSD dazes or confuses creatures.
Sneeze of Doom: Spread disease within a 60-ft. cone of mucus.
Stampede of Rabid Sheep: Summon a herd of enraged Dire Sheep.
7th level
Coffee of Cosmic Awesomeness: Summon coffee of the gods.
Reefer Madness: Summon cannabis inside a creature’s body to render it catatonic.
8th level
Shroomsight: Gain effects of various divination spells...or have a really bad trip.
9th level
Call to the Rave: Summon partygoing fey.
Duskblade
1st level
Grasp of Algebra: Touch attack deals math damage.
2nd level
Bigby's Shanking Hand: Hand of force pulls down enemies' pants.
3rd level
Alter EgoF: Take on another identity, gaining bonuses to abilities and skills, as well as additional class features.
Bigby's Obscene Finger: Hand of force infuriates enemies.
Wet Willie of the Damned: Infernal wet willie deals 1d6 damage/level, gives penalty to mental ability scores.
Hexblade
1st level
Phantasmal Streaker: Create an illusory, naked double of yourself.
Psychic Paper: Convince target to see what you want them to see on a sheet of paper.
Spite: Turn two creatures hostile towards each other.
3rd level
Alter EgoF: Take on another identity, gaining bonuses to abilities and skills, as well as additional class features.
Wet Willie of the Damned: Infernal wet willie deals 1d6 damage/level, gives penalty to mental ability scores.
5th level
Ray of Calculus: Fire a beam of pure mathematics.
Paladin
1st level
Protection from Men: Ward subject against attack and mental control by male creatures.
Protection from Women: Ward subject against attack and mental control by female creatures.
2nd level
Weapon of Smugness: Imbue a weapon with your own smug self-righteousness.
3rd level
Alter EgoF: Take on another identity, gaining bonuses to abilities and skills, as well as additional class features.
Magic Circle against Men: Magical circle wards against or traps male creatures.
Magic Circle against Women: Magical circle wards against or traps female creatures.
Ranger
3rd level
Alter EgoF: Take on another identity, gaining bonuses to abilities and skills, as well as additional class features.
Rugged Manliness: Channel your inner masculinity for bonuses to physical stats, Survival checks. Males only.
Shujenja
0th level
Free Lunch: Conjure up spare change. (Earth only)
Gaydar: Discern creatures' sexual orientation and fetishes. (Air only)
Light My Fire: Ignite a cigarette or cigar. (Fire only)
Water Trap: Opened item drenches opener with water. (Water only)
2nd level
Insant Pitfall: Create a hole in the ground beneath your enemies' feet. (Earth only)
3rd level
Coffee of Celerity: Summon coffee charged with elemental caffeine. (Water only)
4th level
Wall of Slime: Create a wall of slippery, smelly slime. (Water only)
7th level
Coffee of Cosmic Awesomeness: Summon coffee of the gods. (Water only)
Sorcerer/Wizard
0th level
Free Lunch: Conjure up spare change.
Gaydar: Discern creatures' sexual orientation and fetishes.
Insistent Reminder: Written reminder pops up when it's important.
Light My Fire: Ignite a cigarette or cigar.
Water Trap: Opened item drenches opener with water.
1st level
Cram Session: Summon notes that grant +10 bonus on Knowledge checks on one topic.
Grasp of Algebra: Touch attack deals math damage.
Phantasmal Streaker: Create an illusory, naked double of yourself.
Protection from Men: Ward subject against attack and mental control by male creatures.
Protection from Women: Ward subject against attack and mental control by female creatures.
Psychic Paper: Convince target to see what you want them to see on a sheet of paper.
Spite: Turn two creatures hostile towards each other.
Togafy: Transform clothing into togas. Guaranteed to break the ice at parties.
2nd level
Bigby's Shanking Hand: Hand of force pulls down enemies' pants.
Dimension Strip: Teleport away a creature’s clothes.
Hoard Eye: Transform a coin into a magical sensor.
Insant Pitfall: Create a hole in the ground beneath your enemies' feet.
Leomund's Well-Stocked Alehouse: Create cabin stocked with booze.
Slimeball: Summon a projectile of slippery, smelly slime.
3rd level
Algebra Blast: Cone of algebra deals math damage.
Bigby's Obscene Finger: Hand of force infuriates enemies.
Coffee of Celerity: Summon coffee charged with elemental caffeine.
Magic Circle against Men: Magical circle wards against or traps male creatures.
Magic Circle against Women: Magical circle wards against or traps female creatures.
Sonic Screwdriver: Turn a screwdriver (the cocktail, not the tool) into a sonic grendade.
Viral Gossip: Spread rumors about a person.
Wet Willie of the Damned: Infernal wet willie deals 1d6 damage/level, gives penalty to mental ability scores.
4th level
Wall of Algebra: Create polygon-shaped wall of crystallized mathematical energy.
Wall of Slime: Create a wall of slippery, smelly slime.
5th level
Common Courtesy: Counter others' spells, unless they ask permission.
Power Word: Party!: Word of power compels creatures with less than 50 hp to dance.
6th level
Powder Keg: Infuse a keg of ale with explosive energy.
Sneeze of Doom: Spread disease within a 60-ft. cone of mucus.
7th level
Coffee of Cosmic Awesomeness: Summon coffee of the gods.
Ray of Calculus: Fire a beam of pure mathematics.
Wave of Tequila: Downpour of tequila knocks down, and intoxicates creatures.
8th level
Summon Character Sheet: Summon a piece of paper describing a person completely.
9th level
Army of Calculus: Summon multiple Math Elementals
Wu Jen
0th level
Free Lunch: Conjure up spare change. (Metal only)
Gaydar: Discern creatures' sexual orientation and fetishes.
Light My Fire: Ignite a cigarette or cigar. (Fire only)
Water Trap: Opened item drenches opener with water. (Water only)
1st level
Phantasmal Streaker: Create an illusory, naked double of yourself.
Protection from Men: Ward subject against attack and mental control by male creatures.
Protection from Women: Ward subject against attack and mental control by female creatures.
Psychic Paper: Convince target to see what you want them to see on a sheet of paper.
Spite: Turn two creatures hostile towards each other.
2nd level
Dimension Strip: Teleport away a creature’s clothes.
Insant Pitfall: Create a hole in the ground beneath your enemies' feet. (Earth only)
Slimeball: Summon a projectile of slippery, smelly slime. (Water only)
3rd level
Magic Circle against Men: Magical circle wards against or traps male creatures.
Magic Circle against Women: Magical circle wards against or traps female creatures.
Viral Gossip: Spread rumors about a person.
4th level
Wall of Slime: Create a wall of slippery, smelly slime. (Water only)
5th level
Common Courtesy: Counter others' spells, unless they ask permission.
6th level
Powder Keg: Infuse a keg of ale with explosive energy. (Fire only)
Spells
Acid Rain
Conjuration (Creation)
Level: Drd 5, Drug 5
Components: V, S
Casting Time: 1 minute
Range: Long (400 ft.+ 40 ft./level)
Area: Cylinder (60 ft. radius, 30 ft. high)
Duration: 1 round/2 levels
Saving Throw: Fortitude negates
Spell Resistance: No
Sigil Prep Druids have finally figured out a way to combine their love of nature-based magic and their love of bombarding their brains with psychogenic chemicals. The acid rain spell causes acid (the “hey, let’s go listen to Pink Floyd” kind, not the “OH GOD MY FACE IS MELTING!” kind) to rain from the skies. Each round, all creatures within the area of the acid rain must make a Fortitude save or be struck with hallucination. If they fail, there is a 50% chance they are dazed that round, as they sit and stare at the pretty colors, and a 50% chance that they are instead confused, zonked out of their little minds.
Algebra Blast
Evocation [Math]
Level: Nerd 3, Sor/Wiz 3
Components: V, S, F
Casting Time: 1 standard action
Range: 60 ft.
Area: Cone-shaped burst
Duration: Instantaneous
Saving Throw: Will half
Spell Resistance: Yes
No one’s exactly sure how it works, but a couple of the nerdier Sigil Prep guys have worked out a way to channel the power of mathematics into a bizarre kind of elemental energy. Algebra blast lets you use this energy, sending out a cone of elemental mathematics that deals 5d4 + X math damage, where X is equal to one quarter the square of your caster level, max +25.
Focus:
A slide rule.
Alter Ego
Illusion and Transmutation (Glamer)
Level: Asn 3, Brd 4, Clr 4, Dusk 4, Hex 3, Pal 3, Rgr 3
Components: V, S, F
Casting Time: 1 minute
Range: Personal
Target: You
Duration: 10 minutes/level
It seems like half of Sigil Prep has an alter ego. From changelings leading double, triple, or quadruple lives to the handful of masked vigilantes, everyone has use of a secret identity. The alter ego spell makes this possible. Upon casting this spell, you take on the illusionary form of your alter ego, similar to the disguise self spell. This does not allow you to disguise yourself as another person–the form you take on is completely original, invented by you. In addition, you gain a +4 enhancement bonus to the ability score of your choice, and gain a competence bonus equal to your caster level, max +10, to any two skills of your choice, as long as both skills are modified by the ability score you chose to grant the enhancement bonus to. Finally, you gain a single extraordinary class feature of any class, as long as it is a class feature that is granted at 5th level or below.
Focus
A silver mask polished to a mirror sheen, worth 50 gp.
Army of Calculus
Conjuration (Summoning) [Math]
Level: Nerd 9, Sor/Wiz 9
The ultimate piece of mathemagic, army of calculus functions as the elemental swarm spell, except that it summons Math Elementals (http://www.giantitp.com/forums/showthread.php?p=2946646#post2946646).
Bardic Battleaxe of Booze
Transmutation
Level: Brd 2
Components: V, S, M
Casting Time: 1 standard action
Target: 1 guitar touched
Duration: 1 round/level
When worst comes to worst at a concert, you may just have to beat the hell out of someone with your guitar. This spell turns a guitar into a powerful weapon. For the duration of the spell, it is treated as a +1 battleaxe. You are automatically proficient with it, and takes no penalties from using an improvised weapon.
Material Component:
A mug of ale, poured on the guitar.
Bigby’s Obscene Finger
Evocation [Force]
Level: Dusk 3, Sor/Wiz 3
Components: V, S, F
Casting Time: 1 standard action
Range: Close (25 ft. + 5 ft./2 levels)
Effect: Magical hand
Duration: 1 round/level (D)
Saving Throw: Will negates (see text)
Spell Resistance: Yes
One of Bigby’s adolescent creations, created during his tenure as a Sigil Prep student, this spell has since entered the spellbooks of many a young student. This spell creates a floating, Medium-size hand of force that immediately begins giving a rude gesture to all enemies. Any enemy that sees the hand must make a Will save or be forced to attack the hand in preference to you or your allies. It does not have to attack the hand, but it may not attack you or your allies until the hand is destroyed or its duration runs out.
The hand never provokes attacks of opportunity from opponents. The hand takes damage as a normal creature, but most magical effects that don’t cause damage do not affect it. The hand has an AC of 15 and 2 hp per caster level. The hand uses your saving throw bonuses when making saves. As a move action, you may move the hand 10 ft. The disintegrate spell or a successful dispel magic spell destroys it.
Focus
A leather glove, with all but the middle finger cut out.
Bigby’s Shanking Hand
Evocation [Force]
Level: Dusk 2, Sor/Wiz 2
Components: V, S, F
Casting Time: 1 standard action
Range: Close (25 ft. + 5 ft./2 levels)
Effect: Magical hand
Duration: 1 round/level (D)
Saving Throw: None
Spell Resistance: No
Sister to Bigby’s obscene finger, this spell is among the ultimate forms of arcane humiliation. The spell creates a floating, Medium-sized hand of force that appears anywhere within range of the spell. When you cast the spell, you must designate a single creature for the hand to target. The hand relentlessly attempts to shank the designated creature, dragging down its pants. To shank a creature, the hand must first make a touch attack. The hand has a base attack bonus equal to your own, and a Dexterity score of 20. If the touch attack is successful, the hand and the creature then make opposed Strength checks. The hand’s Strength score is 20. A creature wearing a belt receives a +2 circumstance bonus on Strength checks to avoid being shanked, and a creature not wearing pants cannot be shanked.
A shanked creature takes a -10 ft. penalty to its base land speed, and takes a -2 penalty on all Balance, Climb, Hide, Jump, Move Silently, Ride, Swim, and Tumble checks. A shanked creature may pull its pants up as a move action.
The hand never provokes attacks of opportunity from opponents. The hand takes damage as a normal creature, but most magical effects that don’t cause damage do not affect it. The hand has an AC of 15 and 2 hp per caster level. The hand uses your saving throw bonuses when making saves. As a move action, you may move the hand 10 ft, or change the creature targeted by its shanking attempts. The disintegrate spell or a successful dispel magic spell destroys it.
Focus
A leather glove and a pair of boxers
Booze Muse
Enchantment
Level: Brd 1
Components: V, S, M
Casting Time: 1 standard action
Range: Personal
Target: You
Duration: 1 min./level (D)
Odds are, if you’re a Bard, and you go to Sigil Prep, you’re probably drunk. Why not take advantage of this? After casting this spell, you gain a +10 morale bonus on all Perform checks. The enhancement bonus increases to +20 at caster level 5th, and to +30 (the maximum) at caster level 9th.
Material Component
A mug of ale, consumed during the casting of the spell
Call to the Rave
Conjuration (Summoning)
Level: Druid 9, Party 9
Components: V, S
Casting Time: 10 minutes
Range: Medium (100 ft. + 10 ft./level)
Effect: Multiple summoned fey, no two of which can be more than 30 ft. apart
Duration: 10 min./level (D)
When you need a few more people for your party, just send out a call to the rave, and summon a legion of fey ready to party - or fight, it you need them to do that, but why would you? As soon as you complete this spell, 2d4 Satyrs, without pipes, are summoned. Ten minutes later, 1d8 Pixies are summoned. Ten minutes after that, 1d3 Nymphs appear. Each creature has maximum hit points for each HD.
The fey obey you explicitly and never attack you, even if someone else gains control over them. You do not need to concentrate to maintain control over them. You can dismiss them one at a time or in groups.
Coffee of Celerity
Conjuration and Transmutation (Creation)
Level: Clr 3, Drd 3, Shu 3 (Water), Sor/Wiz 3
Components: V, S, M
Casting Time: 1 standard action
Range: 0 ft.
Effect: Summoned coffee
Duration: Instantaneous, then 1 round/level or until discharged
Not everyone at Sigil Prep is a binge-drinking alcoholic. The more studious students tend to be binge-drinking caffeine fiends, and this spell is just right for them. It summons a delicious cup of coffee. However, in addition to being delicious, the coffee is charged with raw, elemental caffeine. Anyone who drinks the coffee of celerity gains a +30 caffeine bonus to all of their movement speeds, and gains a +1 caffeine bonus on all Reflex saves and Initiative checks. In addition, the drinker may discharge the effects of the coffee of celerity to take a single extra move action, but if they do, they are dazed until the end of their next turn after taking it. However, the coffee of celerity must be drunk while hot in order to gain the benefits. It remains hot for 10 minutes, and then becomes cool, losing its elemental potency, though not its flavor. Finally, anyone who drinks a cup of coffee of celerity, whether hot or cool, does not need to sleep for 24 hours, though they must still rest to recover spells.
Material Component
A handful of coffee beans mixed with ground licorice roots.
Coffee of Cosmic Awesomeness
Conjuration and Transmutation (Creation)
Level: Clr 7, Drd 7, Shu 7 (Water), Sor/Wiz 7
Duration: Instantaneous, then 1 minute/level or until discharged
Sometimes, even coffee of celerity isn’t enough. That’s when you need to call in the big guns. Coffee of cosmic awesomeness summons a cup of coffee infused with the cosmic essence of the divine coffee drunk by the gods themselves. The effects of drinking a cup of coffee of cosmic awesomeness are like those of coffee of celerity, but more so. Coffee of cosmic awesomeness grants a +50 caffeine bonus to all movement forms, and a +5 caffeine bonus to Reflex saves and initiative checks. The drinker of a cup of coffee of cosmic awesomeness may make two extra attacks whenever he makes a full attack. Discharging the effects of coffee of cosmic awesomeness allows the drinker to accelerate to the point where time seems to slow down, as the spell time stop, for 1 round. Coffee of cosmic awesomeness makes its drinker immune to fatigue and exhaustion, and they do not need to sleep for a week, even if they drink it after it has cooled.
Common Courtesy
Abjuration
Level: Nerd 5, Sor/Wiz 5, Wu Jen 5
Components: V, S
Casting Time: 1 minute
Range: Personal
Target: You
Duration: 1 minute/level or until discharged
Not everyone at Sigil Prep is a mannerless slob. Some are very, very insistent on enforcing common courtesy. While under the effects of this spell, any character within 10 ft./level of you that casts a spell must first ask your permission to cast it. When a caster comes within range of you, he receives a mental ping alerting him to this. If he fails to, you may immediately make an opposed caster level check with him. If you succeed, then that spell is countered. If a character asks permission, and you deny it, you may also make an opposed caster level check to counter the spell, but doing so discharges common courtesy.
Cone of Cannabis
Conjuration (Creation)
Level: Drd 4, Drug 4
Components: V, S
Casting Time: 1 standard action
Range: 60 ft.
Area: Cone-shaped burst
Duration: Instantaneous, then 1 round/level
Saving Throw: Fortitude negates
Spell Resistance: No
Woah, man. It’s all about the cosmic energy, y’know? I mean, the cone of cannabis spell, it like, sends out a big cone of smoke, the kind you get from burning those little weeds, man. Anyway, all creatures in the cone that fail their save, like, totally mellow out, as the calm emotions spell. Yeah, they also get more in touch with nature, y’know, and take 1d10 points of Intelligence and Wisdom damage.
Cram Session
Conjuration and Divination (Creation)
Level: Sor/Wiz 1
Components: V, S
Casting Time: 1 standard action
Range: 0 ft.
Effect: Summoned notes.
Duration: Instantaneous
Who needs to study, when you can just whip up a magical cram session? When you cast this spell, you must choose a specific topic (for example, not dragons, or even red dragons–but “that dragon over there” would be a valid topic). The cram session spell summons notes relating to that topic. By looking over them, you gain a +10 competence bonus on any Knowledge checks made about that specific topic. In addition, you can make untrained Knowledge checks about that topic, although the bonus to the check is halved if you do so. The bonus increases to +20 at 5th level, and to +30 at 9th level. Note that using the cram session spell during a test is cheating, and most professors are rather quick to “dispose of” anyone they catch using it.
Days of Our One Life to Live
Transmutation
Level: Brd 4
Components: V, S
Casting Time: 1 standard action
Range: Close (25 ft. + 5 ft./2 levels)
Target: One creature
Duration: 24 hours
Saving Throw: Will negates
Spell Resistance: Yes
No one wants to even think about this spell. With it, you can turn some poor fool’s life into a living soap opera for 24 hours (funnily enough, no one at Sigil Prep, not even the Bard who came up with this spell, knows what a “soap opera” is. One of the professors said something about “interplanar memetic transference through dimensional breeches in the fourth wall,” and that sounds about right). Events in the target’s life just become generally more dramatic, and things like identical twins, amnesia, torrid love affairs, comas, and so on become far, far more common. The DM has free reign over the exact effects of this spell, and is advised to make the target’s life just as miserable as any other soap.
Dimension Strip
Conjuration (Teleportation)
Level: Brd 2, Party 2, Sor/Wiz 2, Wu Jen 2
Components: V
Casting Time: 1 standard action
Range: Close (25 ft. + 5 ft./2 levels)
Target: One creature
Duration: Instantaneous
Saving Throw: Will negates
Spell Resistance: Yes
Of all the teleportation spells in the multiverse, dimension strip is the single most used one on Sigil Prep’s campus. If the target fails its save, then all of its clothing, armor, and items are teleported 10 ft. away from them in a randomly chosen direction, leaving them rather naked. It’s always advisable to cast protection from women before using this spell.
Filthy Hippy Hair
Transmutation
Level: Drd 4
Components: V, S, DF
Casting Time: 1 standard action
Range: Personal
Target: You
Duration: 1 round/level
Filthy hippies and their filthy long hair...it wouldn’t be such a problem if it weren’t for this spell. When you cast filthy hippy hair, your hair extends and animates, becoming a filthy mass of hair-tentacles that are enough to stock a Japanese schoolgirl’s nightmares for weeks. You gain one tentacle attack/3 levels, max 4 tentacles. The tentacle attacks deal 1d4 damage if you are of Medium size, 1d3 damage if you are of Small size, and so on. Each tentacle’s reach is equal to your natural reach plus 5 ft. In addition, whenever you hit a foe of your own size or smaller with a tentacle attack, you can attempt to start a grapple as a free action without provoking an attack of opportunity. If you win the grapple check, you establish a hold. You cannot cast this spell if you have no hair.
Free Lunch
Conjuration (Creation)
Level: Brd 0, Shu 0 (Earth), Sor/Wiz 0, Wu Jen 0 (Metal)
Components: V, S
Casting Time: 1 minute
Range: 0 ft.
Effect: Created coins
Duration: Instantaneous
Sometimes, making ends meet is hard when you’re a student. This spell will help you scrape by. Upon the completion of this spell, three copper pieces appear in your hand. They are completely normal, except for a aura of faint conjuration. The merest mention of this spell has been known to drive Economics majors into a blind rage; please don’t taunt them.
Gaydar
Divination
Level: Brd 0, Clr 0, Drd 0, Shu 0 (Air), Sor/Wiz 0, Wu Jen 0
Components: V, S
Casting Time: 1 standard action
Range: 60 ft.
Area: Cone-shaped emanation
Duration: Concentration, up to 1 minute/level (D)
Saving Throw: None
Spell Resistance: No
Few realize how useful this spell is to a successful love life at Sigil Prep. By studying creatures within the area of the gaydar spell, you can determine details about the creature’s sexual orientation and tendencies. The amount of detail revealed depends on how long you study each creature:
1st round
Determine the sexual orientation of each creature within the area of this spell as either asexual, bisexual, heterosexual, homosexual, or pansexual. Note that this spell reveals what the subject believes his orientation to be, rather than the actual orientation–for example, a gay man who has not yet come to terms with his homosexuality would register as being straight.
2nd round
General nature of each creature’s sexual kinks and fetishes.
3rd round
Specifics of each creature’s sexual kinks and fetishes.
Grasp of Algebra
Evocation [Math]
Level: Dusk 1, Sor/Wiz 1
Components: V, S
Casting Time: 1 standard action
Range: Touch
Target: Creature touched
Duration: Instantaneous
Saving Throw: None
Spell Resistance: Yes
Hard to take seriously as it is, having a basic grasp of algebra can pack a wallop. As you cast this spell, you must make a touch attack against your target. If your attack is successful, the target takes 1d4+X math damage, where X is the square of your caster level, max 1d4+25.
Hoard Eye
Divination (Scrying)
Level: Brd 1, Sor/Wiz 2
Components: V, S, M, F
Casting Time: 10 minutes
Range: 150 ft./level
Duration: 1 hour/level
This neat spell is always useful if you’re worried about someone pinching your stuff. It turns a single coin into a magical sensor, that you can see through as if it were one of your own eyes. You can see everything within 30 ft. of the coin, as the scrying spell, although you can only look in one direction at a time. You can switch between your own perspective and that of the coin as a swift action. You can only see through the coin if it is within range of the spell.
Material Components
A paste made from rare truffles mixed with gold dust, worth 25 gp.
Focus
A coin made of any kind of metal.
Insistent Reminder
Transmutation
Level: Sorc/Wiz 0
Components: V, S, F
Casting Time: 1 minute
Range: Touch
Target: Paper touched
Duration: Permanent
Saving Throw: None
Spell Resistance: No
When you go to Sigil Prep, it helps to have somewhere where you can write everything down. Between homework, dating, partying, and slaying the unearthly abominations that crashed your kegger, it gets hard remembering everything. The insistent reminder spell makes sure you don’t forget. This spell inscribes a single reminder, no longer than 2 words/level, on a sheet of paper. Whenever the information stored in the reminder becomes critical for you to recall, the reminder levitates in front of your face, as long as it remains in your possession.
Instant Pitfall
Transmutation
Level: Shu 2 (Earth), Sor/Wiz 2, Wu Jen 2 (Earth)
Components: V, S
Casting Time: 1 standard action
Range: Close (25 ft. + 5 ft./2 levels)
Target: One 5 ft. square
Duration: Instantaneous
Saving Throw: Reflex negates (see text)
Spell Resistance: No
A classic in Prank Wars, the instant pitfall spell disintegrates a section of the floor or ground beneath your feet, creating a pitfall within one 5 ft. square. Floors made up of most substances–wood, stone, dirt, even iron–can be disintegrated, though floors made up of tougher or rarer substances, such as adamantine, cannot be affected.
The pitfall is up to 10 ft./level deep, max 50 ft.; however, it is never so deep as to go straight through the floor without having a bottom. Any Medium or smaller creature standing in the square when you cast the spell may attempt a Reflex save to move into any adjacent square. If he fails the save, he instead falls into the pitfall, taking falling damage as normal. Any Medium or smaller creature that moves into the square must also save or fall.
A fallen creature can climb out with a DC 15 Climb check. Large and larger creatures are not affected by the pitfall. Note that using this spell indoors does tend to anger whoever might own the building you’re casting it in.
Leomund's Well-Stocked Alehouse
Level: Bard 1, Sorcerer/Wizard 2
Components: V, S, M
Despite all the magical achievements of the great mage Leomund, none is remembered better by the students of Sigil Prep than this spell, created during Leomund’s wild years at Sigil Prep.It functions as Leomund's secure shelter, except as above and that the building created is neither protected by arcane lock nor alarm, and is not staffed by unseen servants. It is, however, stocked with five kegs of ale. The ale reverts to lukewarm water if removed from the instant alehouse.
Material Component:
A mug full of ale. The ale created by the spell is of the some kind the mug is filled with.
Light My Fire
Evocation (Fire)
Level: Bard 0, Shu 0 (Fire), Sorcerer/Wizard 0, Wu Jen 0 (Fire)
Components: S
Casting Time: 1 swift action
Range: Touch
Target: Cigar, pipe, or similar item touched
Duration: Instantaneous
Saving Throw: None
Spell Resistance: No
With just a snap of your fingers, you can set yourself on the way to lung-cancer inducing goodness. This spell immediately lights a single cigar, pipe, or similar smokeable item. The heat it produces is not enough to deal any damage.
Magic Circle against Men
Abjuration
Level: Clr 3, Pal 3, Sor/Wiz 3, Wu Jen 3
Components: V, S, DF, Gender
Sometimes guys just can’t take a hint. That’s why this doozy was invented. This spell functions like magic circle against evil, except that it provides defenses similar to protection from men, and it can imprison a male called creature. (To determine the gender of a called creature, roll 1d2–1 is male, 2 is female, unless the creature is specifically always a member of one gender or another.)
Gender Component:
You must be female to cast this spell.
Magic Circle against Women
Abjuration
Level: Clr 3, Pal 3, Sor/Wiz 3, Wu Jen 3
Components: V, S, DF, Gender
Sometimes guys just can’t take a hint. That’s why this doozy was invented. This spell functions like magic circle against evil, except that it provides defenses similar to protection from women, and it can imprison a female called creature. (To determine the gender of a called creature, roll 1d2–1 is male, 2 is female, unless the creature is specifically always a member of one gender or another.)
Gender Component:
You must be male to cast this spell.
Sigil Prep (http://www.sigilprep.com/index.htm) is an academy unlike any other. A great university at the heart of the very multiverse itself, home to the most learned of sages and erudite of scholars and...okay, so maybe more ditzy cheerleaders, thick-headed jocks, and sex-starved teens than great scholars, but close enough. In such a unique place, where the greatest of magical minds meet with the stupidest of teenage minds, it is almost inevitable that dozens of new spells will be invented, both useful and idiotic. Below is a record of some of the more popular spells to emerge from the hallowed halls of Sigil Prep...
Spell Lists
Assassin
3rd level
Alter EgoF: Take on another identity, gaining bonuses to abilities and skills, as well as additional class features.
Bard
0th level
Free Lunch: Conjure up spare change.
Gaydar: Discern creatures' sexual orientation and fetishes.
Light My Fire: Ignite a cigarette or cigar.
1st level
Booze Muse: Gain bonuses to Perform checks from ale.
Hoard Eye: Transform a coin into a magical sensor.
Leomund's Well-Stocked Alehouse: Create cabin stocked with booze.
Phantasmal Streaker: Create an illusory, naked double of yourself.
Psychic Paper: Convince target to see what you want them to see on a sheet of paper.
Spite: Turn two creatures hostile towards each other.
Togafy: Transform clothing into togas. Guaranteed to break the ice at parties.
2nd level
Bardic Battleaxe of Booze: Turn a guitar into a magic weapon.
Dimension Strip: Teleport away a creature’s clothes.
Slimeball: Summon a projectile of slippery, smelly slime.
Viral Gossip: Spread rumors about a person.
3rd level
Sonic Screwdriver: Turn a screwdriver (the cocktail, not the tool) into a sonic grendade.
4th level
Alter EgoF: Take on another identity, gaining bonuses to abilities and skills, as well as additional class features.
Days of Our One Life to Live: Trap target in a living soap opera.
Wall of Slime: Create a wall of slippery, smelly slime.
5th level
Toon Town: Laws of comedy and cartoons replace laws of physics.
6th level
Powder Keg: Infuse a keg of ale with explosive energy.
Wave of Tequila: Downpour of tequila knocks down, and intoxicates creatures.
Cleric
0th level
Gaydar: Discern creatures' sexual orientation and fetishes.
Water Trap: Opened item drenches opener with water.
1st level
Protection from Men: Ward subject against attack and mental control by male creatures.
Protection from Women: Ward subject against attack and mental control by female creatures.
3rd level
Coffee of Celerity: Summon coffee charged with elemental caffeine.
Magic Circle against Men: Magical circle wards against or traps male creatures.
Magic Circle against Women: Magical circle wards against or traps female creatures.
4th level
Alter EgoF: Take on another identity, gaining bonuses to abilities and skills, as well as additional class features.
Wet Willie of the Damned: Infernal wet willie deals 1d6 damage/level, gives penalty to mental ability scores.
5th level
Sneeze of Doom: Spread disease within a 60-ft. cone of mucus.
7th level
Coffee of Cosmic Awesomeness: Summon coffee of the gods.
Cleric Domains
Clerics that attend Sigil Prep find that they are capable of accessing new and...to be honest, pretty damn weird domains. Between being on the Outlands, having the Lady of Pain as a headmistress, and being Sigil Prep, it manages to warp the nature of divine energy. It’s pretty cool. These domains are not offered by any specific god, allowing almost every cleric to take them. However, some do have alignment restrictions, noted in their descriptions. Some spells in the following domains come from the Spell Compendium. They are marked with a *.
Drug Domain
Alignment: Only Chaotic Neutral, Neutral Evil, and Neutral Good Clerics can take the Drug domain.
Granted Power: You’re like, totally mellow, man. You gain a +3 resistance bonus on saves against effects that would alter your emotions, such as spells with the (fear) descriptor, or the rage or confusion spells.
1. Lesser Confusion: One creature is confused for 1 round.
2. Calm Emotions: Calms creatures, negating emotion effects.
3. Purple Haze: Cloud of "herbal vapors" calms emotions, imposes penalty to Intelligence and Wisdom.
4. Cone of Cannabis: Cone of marijuana smoke causes everyone to like, totally mellow out, man.
5. Memory Rot*: Spores deal 1d6 Int damage to subject, plus 1 Int drain/round.
6. Acid Rain: Rain of LSD dazes or confuses creatures.
7. Reefer Madness: Summon cannabis inside a creature’s body to render it catatonic.
8. Shroomsight: Gain effects of various divination spells...or have a really bad trip.
9. Programmed Amnesia*M: Destroy, alter, or replace memories in subject creature.
Nerd Domain
Granted Power: You gain a +2 competence bonus on all Knowledge checks, and can use all Knowledge skills untrained...NERD!
1. Grasp of Algebra: Touch attack deals math damage.
2. Fox’s Cunning: Subject gains +4 Int for 1 min./level.
3. Algebra Blast: Cone of algebra deals math damage.
4. Wall of Algebra: Create polygon-shaped wall of crystallized mathematical energy.
5. Common Courtesy: Counter others' spells, unless they ask permission.
6. Legend LoreM F: Lets you learn tales about a person, place, or thing.
7. Ray of Calculus: Fire a beam of pure mathematics.
8. Summon Character Sheet: Summon a piece of paper describing a person completely.
9. Army of Calculus: Summon multiple Math Elementals
Party Domain
Granted Power: You’re always the life of the party. You can expend a use of turn or rebuke undead to inspire courage, using your Cleric level in place of Bard levels to determine the bonus.
1. Togafy: Transform clothing into togas. Guaranteed to break the ice at parties.
2. Dimension Strip: Teleport away a creature’s clothes.
3. Good Hope: Subjects gain +2 on attack rolls, damage rolls, saves, and checks.
4. Illusory Feast*: Subjects become dazed by illusory food.
5. Power Word: Party!: Word of power compels creatures with less than 50 hp to dance.
6. Heroes’ Feast: Food for one creature/level cures and grants combat bonuses.
7. Mage’s Magnificent MansionF: Door leads to extradimensional mansion.
8. Irresistible Dance: Forces subject to dance.
9. Call to the Rave: Summon partygoing fey.
Druid
0th level
Gaydar: Discern creatures' sexual orientation and fetishes.
Water Trap: Opened item drenches opener with water.
3rd level
Coffee of Celerity: Summon coffee charged with elemental caffeine.
Purple Haze: Cloud of "herbal vapors" calms emotions, imposes penalty to Intelligence and Wisdom.
4th level
Cone of Cannabis: Cone of cannabis smoke causes everyone to like, totally mellow out, man.
Filthy Hippy Hair: Turn your hair into animated tentacles that can attack and grapple.
Wall of Slime: Create a wall of slippery, smelly slime.
5th level
Acid Rain: Rain of LSD dazes or confuses creatures.
Sneeze of Doom: Spread disease within a 60-ft. cone of mucus.
Stampede of Rabid Sheep: Summon a herd of enraged Dire Sheep.
7th level
Coffee of Cosmic Awesomeness: Summon coffee of the gods.
Reefer Madness: Summon cannabis inside a creature’s body to render it catatonic.
8th level
Shroomsight: Gain effects of various divination spells...or have a really bad trip.
9th level
Call to the Rave: Summon partygoing fey.
Duskblade
1st level
Grasp of Algebra: Touch attack deals math damage.
2nd level
Bigby's Shanking Hand: Hand of force pulls down enemies' pants.
3rd level
Alter EgoF: Take on another identity, gaining bonuses to abilities and skills, as well as additional class features.
Bigby's Obscene Finger: Hand of force infuriates enemies.
Wet Willie of the Damned: Infernal wet willie deals 1d6 damage/level, gives penalty to mental ability scores.
Hexblade
1st level
Phantasmal Streaker: Create an illusory, naked double of yourself.
Psychic Paper: Convince target to see what you want them to see on a sheet of paper.
Spite: Turn two creatures hostile towards each other.
3rd level
Alter EgoF: Take on another identity, gaining bonuses to abilities and skills, as well as additional class features.
Wet Willie of the Damned: Infernal wet willie deals 1d6 damage/level, gives penalty to mental ability scores.
5th level
Ray of Calculus: Fire a beam of pure mathematics.
Paladin
1st level
Protection from Men: Ward subject against attack and mental control by male creatures.
Protection from Women: Ward subject against attack and mental control by female creatures.
2nd level
Weapon of Smugness: Imbue a weapon with your own smug self-righteousness.
3rd level
Alter EgoF: Take on another identity, gaining bonuses to abilities and skills, as well as additional class features.
Magic Circle against Men: Magical circle wards against or traps male creatures.
Magic Circle against Women: Magical circle wards against or traps female creatures.
Ranger
3rd level
Alter EgoF: Take on another identity, gaining bonuses to abilities and skills, as well as additional class features.
Rugged Manliness: Channel your inner masculinity for bonuses to physical stats, Survival checks. Males only.
Shujenja
0th level
Free Lunch: Conjure up spare change. (Earth only)
Gaydar: Discern creatures' sexual orientation and fetishes. (Air only)
Light My Fire: Ignite a cigarette or cigar. (Fire only)
Water Trap: Opened item drenches opener with water. (Water only)
2nd level
Insant Pitfall: Create a hole in the ground beneath your enemies' feet. (Earth only)
3rd level
Coffee of Celerity: Summon coffee charged with elemental caffeine. (Water only)
4th level
Wall of Slime: Create a wall of slippery, smelly slime. (Water only)
7th level
Coffee of Cosmic Awesomeness: Summon coffee of the gods. (Water only)
Sorcerer/Wizard
0th level
Free Lunch: Conjure up spare change.
Gaydar: Discern creatures' sexual orientation and fetishes.
Insistent Reminder: Written reminder pops up when it's important.
Light My Fire: Ignite a cigarette or cigar.
Water Trap: Opened item drenches opener with water.
1st level
Cram Session: Summon notes that grant +10 bonus on Knowledge checks on one topic.
Grasp of Algebra: Touch attack deals math damage.
Phantasmal Streaker: Create an illusory, naked double of yourself.
Protection from Men: Ward subject against attack and mental control by male creatures.
Protection from Women: Ward subject against attack and mental control by female creatures.
Psychic Paper: Convince target to see what you want them to see on a sheet of paper.
Spite: Turn two creatures hostile towards each other.
Togafy: Transform clothing into togas. Guaranteed to break the ice at parties.
2nd level
Bigby's Shanking Hand: Hand of force pulls down enemies' pants.
Dimension Strip: Teleport away a creature’s clothes.
Hoard Eye: Transform a coin into a magical sensor.
Insant Pitfall: Create a hole in the ground beneath your enemies' feet.
Leomund's Well-Stocked Alehouse: Create cabin stocked with booze.
Slimeball: Summon a projectile of slippery, smelly slime.
3rd level
Algebra Blast: Cone of algebra deals math damage.
Bigby's Obscene Finger: Hand of force infuriates enemies.
Coffee of Celerity: Summon coffee charged with elemental caffeine.
Magic Circle against Men: Magical circle wards against or traps male creatures.
Magic Circle against Women: Magical circle wards against or traps female creatures.
Sonic Screwdriver: Turn a screwdriver (the cocktail, not the tool) into a sonic grendade.
Viral Gossip: Spread rumors about a person.
Wet Willie of the Damned: Infernal wet willie deals 1d6 damage/level, gives penalty to mental ability scores.
4th level
Wall of Algebra: Create polygon-shaped wall of crystallized mathematical energy.
Wall of Slime: Create a wall of slippery, smelly slime.
5th level
Common Courtesy: Counter others' spells, unless they ask permission.
Power Word: Party!: Word of power compels creatures with less than 50 hp to dance.
6th level
Powder Keg: Infuse a keg of ale with explosive energy.
Sneeze of Doom: Spread disease within a 60-ft. cone of mucus.
7th level
Coffee of Cosmic Awesomeness: Summon coffee of the gods.
Ray of Calculus: Fire a beam of pure mathematics.
Wave of Tequila: Downpour of tequila knocks down, and intoxicates creatures.
8th level
Summon Character Sheet: Summon a piece of paper describing a person completely.
9th level
Army of Calculus: Summon multiple Math Elementals
Wu Jen
0th level
Free Lunch: Conjure up spare change. (Metal only)
Gaydar: Discern creatures' sexual orientation and fetishes.
Light My Fire: Ignite a cigarette or cigar. (Fire only)
Water Trap: Opened item drenches opener with water. (Water only)
1st level
Phantasmal Streaker: Create an illusory, naked double of yourself.
Protection from Men: Ward subject against attack and mental control by male creatures.
Protection from Women: Ward subject against attack and mental control by female creatures.
Psychic Paper: Convince target to see what you want them to see on a sheet of paper.
Spite: Turn two creatures hostile towards each other.
2nd level
Dimension Strip: Teleport away a creature’s clothes.
Insant Pitfall: Create a hole in the ground beneath your enemies' feet. (Earth only)
Slimeball: Summon a projectile of slippery, smelly slime. (Water only)
3rd level
Magic Circle against Men: Magical circle wards against or traps male creatures.
Magic Circle against Women: Magical circle wards against or traps female creatures.
Viral Gossip: Spread rumors about a person.
4th level
Wall of Slime: Create a wall of slippery, smelly slime. (Water only)
5th level
Common Courtesy: Counter others' spells, unless they ask permission.
6th level
Powder Keg: Infuse a keg of ale with explosive energy. (Fire only)
Spells
Acid Rain
Conjuration (Creation)
Level: Drd 5, Drug 5
Components: V, S
Casting Time: 1 minute
Range: Long (400 ft.+ 40 ft./level)
Area: Cylinder (60 ft. radius, 30 ft. high)
Duration: 1 round/2 levels
Saving Throw: Fortitude negates
Spell Resistance: No
Sigil Prep Druids have finally figured out a way to combine their love of nature-based magic and their love of bombarding their brains with psychogenic chemicals. The acid rain spell causes acid (the “hey, let’s go listen to Pink Floyd” kind, not the “OH GOD MY FACE IS MELTING!” kind) to rain from the skies. Each round, all creatures within the area of the acid rain must make a Fortitude save or be struck with hallucination. If they fail, there is a 50% chance they are dazed that round, as they sit and stare at the pretty colors, and a 50% chance that they are instead confused, zonked out of their little minds.
Algebra Blast
Evocation [Math]
Level: Nerd 3, Sor/Wiz 3
Components: V, S, F
Casting Time: 1 standard action
Range: 60 ft.
Area: Cone-shaped burst
Duration: Instantaneous
Saving Throw: Will half
Spell Resistance: Yes
No one’s exactly sure how it works, but a couple of the nerdier Sigil Prep guys have worked out a way to channel the power of mathematics into a bizarre kind of elemental energy. Algebra blast lets you use this energy, sending out a cone of elemental mathematics that deals 5d4 + X math damage, where X is equal to one quarter the square of your caster level, max +25.
Focus:
A slide rule.
Alter Ego
Illusion and Transmutation (Glamer)
Level: Asn 3, Brd 4, Clr 4, Dusk 4, Hex 3, Pal 3, Rgr 3
Components: V, S, F
Casting Time: 1 minute
Range: Personal
Target: You
Duration: 10 minutes/level
It seems like half of Sigil Prep has an alter ego. From changelings leading double, triple, or quadruple lives to the handful of masked vigilantes, everyone has use of a secret identity. The alter ego spell makes this possible. Upon casting this spell, you take on the illusionary form of your alter ego, similar to the disguise self spell. This does not allow you to disguise yourself as another person–the form you take on is completely original, invented by you. In addition, you gain a +4 enhancement bonus to the ability score of your choice, and gain a competence bonus equal to your caster level, max +10, to any two skills of your choice, as long as both skills are modified by the ability score you chose to grant the enhancement bonus to. Finally, you gain a single extraordinary class feature of any class, as long as it is a class feature that is granted at 5th level or below.
Focus
A silver mask polished to a mirror sheen, worth 50 gp.
Army of Calculus
Conjuration (Summoning) [Math]
Level: Nerd 9, Sor/Wiz 9
The ultimate piece of mathemagic, army of calculus functions as the elemental swarm spell, except that it summons Math Elementals (http://www.giantitp.com/forums/showthread.php?p=2946646#post2946646).
Bardic Battleaxe of Booze
Transmutation
Level: Brd 2
Components: V, S, M
Casting Time: 1 standard action
Target: 1 guitar touched
Duration: 1 round/level
When worst comes to worst at a concert, you may just have to beat the hell out of someone with your guitar. This spell turns a guitar into a powerful weapon. For the duration of the spell, it is treated as a +1 battleaxe. You are automatically proficient with it, and takes no penalties from using an improvised weapon.
Material Component:
A mug of ale, poured on the guitar.
Bigby’s Obscene Finger
Evocation [Force]
Level: Dusk 3, Sor/Wiz 3
Components: V, S, F
Casting Time: 1 standard action
Range: Close (25 ft. + 5 ft./2 levels)
Effect: Magical hand
Duration: 1 round/level (D)
Saving Throw: Will negates (see text)
Spell Resistance: Yes
One of Bigby’s adolescent creations, created during his tenure as a Sigil Prep student, this spell has since entered the spellbooks of many a young student. This spell creates a floating, Medium-size hand of force that immediately begins giving a rude gesture to all enemies. Any enemy that sees the hand must make a Will save or be forced to attack the hand in preference to you or your allies. It does not have to attack the hand, but it may not attack you or your allies until the hand is destroyed or its duration runs out.
The hand never provokes attacks of opportunity from opponents. The hand takes damage as a normal creature, but most magical effects that don’t cause damage do not affect it. The hand has an AC of 15 and 2 hp per caster level. The hand uses your saving throw bonuses when making saves. As a move action, you may move the hand 10 ft. The disintegrate spell or a successful dispel magic spell destroys it.
Focus
A leather glove, with all but the middle finger cut out.
Bigby’s Shanking Hand
Evocation [Force]
Level: Dusk 2, Sor/Wiz 2
Components: V, S, F
Casting Time: 1 standard action
Range: Close (25 ft. + 5 ft./2 levels)
Effect: Magical hand
Duration: 1 round/level (D)
Saving Throw: None
Spell Resistance: No
Sister to Bigby’s obscene finger, this spell is among the ultimate forms of arcane humiliation. The spell creates a floating, Medium-sized hand of force that appears anywhere within range of the spell. When you cast the spell, you must designate a single creature for the hand to target. The hand relentlessly attempts to shank the designated creature, dragging down its pants. To shank a creature, the hand must first make a touch attack. The hand has a base attack bonus equal to your own, and a Dexterity score of 20. If the touch attack is successful, the hand and the creature then make opposed Strength checks. The hand’s Strength score is 20. A creature wearing a belt receives a +2 circumstance bonus on Strength checks to avoid being shanked, and a creature not wearing pants cannot be shanked.
A shanked creature takes a -10 ft. penalty to its base land speed, and takes a -2 penalty on all Balance, Climb, Hide, Jump, Move Silently, Ride, Swim, and Tumble checks. A shanked creature may pull its pants up as a move action.
The hand never provokes attacks of opportunity from opponents. The hand takes damage as a normal creature, but most magical effects that don’t cause damage do not affect it. The hand has an AC of 15 and 2 hp per caster level. The hand uses your saving throw bonuses when making saves. As a move action, you may move the hand 10 ft, or change the creature targeted by its shanking attempts. The disintegrate spell or a successful dispel magic spell destroys it.
Focus
A leather glove and a pair of boxers
Booze Muse
Enchantment
Level: Brd 1
Components: V, S, M
Casting Time: 1 standard action
Range: Personal
Target: You
Duration: 1 min./level (D)
Odds are, if you’re a Bard, and you go to Sigil Prep, you’re probably drunk. Why not take advantage of this? After casting this spell, you gain a +10 morale bonus on all Perform checks. The enhancement bonus increases to +20 at caster level 5th, and to +30 (the maximum) at caster level 9th.
Material Component
A mug of ale, consumed during the casting of the spell
Call to the Rave
Conjuration (Summoning)
Level: Druid 9, Party 9
Components: V, S
Casting Time: 10 minutes
Range: Medium (100 ft. + 10 ft./level)
Effect: Multiple summoned fey, no two of which can be more than 30 ft. apart
Duration: 10 min./level (D)
When you need a few more people for your party, just send out a call to the rave, and summon a legion of fey ready to party - or fight, it you need them to do that, but why would you? As soon as you complete this spell, 2d4 Satyrs, without pipes, are summoned. Ten minutes later, 1d8 Pixies are summoned. Ten minutes after that, 1d3 Nymphs appear. Each creature has maximum hit points for each HD.
The fey obey you explicitly and never attack you, even if someone else gains control over them. You do not need to concentrate to maintain control over them. You can dismiss them one at a time or in groups.
Coffee of Celerity
Conjuration and Transmutation (Creation)
Level: Clr 3, Drd 3, Shu 3 (Water), Sor/Wiz 3
Components: V, S, M
Casting Time: 1 standard action
Range: 0 ft.
Effect: Summoned coffee
Duration: Instantaneous, then 1 round/level or until discharged
Not everyone at Sigil Prep is a binge-drinking alcoholic. The more studious students tend to be binge-drinking caffeine fiends, and this spell is just right for them. It summons a delicious cup of coffee. However, in addition to being delicious, the coffee is charged with raw, elemental caffeine. Anyone who drinks the coffee of celerity gains a +30 caffeine bonus to all of their movement speeds, and gains a +1 caffeine bonus on all Reflex saves and Initiative checks. In addition, the drinker may discharge the effects of the coffee of celerity to take a single extra move action, but if they do, they are dazed until the end of their next turn after taking it. However, the coffee of celerity must be drunk while hot in order to gain the benefits. It remains hot for 10 minutes, and then becomes cool, losing its elemental potency, though not its flavor. Finally, anyone who drinks a cup of coffee of celerity, whether hot or cool, does not need to sleep for 24 hours, though they must still rest to recover spells.
Material Component
A handful of coffee beans mixed with ground licorice roots.
Coffee of Cosmic Awesomeness
Conjuration and Transmutation (Creation)
Level: Clr 7, Drd 7, Shu 7 (Water), Sor/Wiz 7
Duration: Instantaneous, then 1 minute/level or until discharged
Sometimes, even coffee of celerity isn’t enough. That’s when you need to call in the big guns. Coffee of cosmic awesomeness summons a cup of coffee infused with the cosmic essence of the divine coffee drunk by the gods themselves. The effects of drinking a cup of coffee of cosmic awesomeness are like those of coffee of celerity, but more so. Coffee of cosmic awesomeness grants a +50 caffeine bonus to all movement forms, and a +5 caffeine bonus to Reflex saves and initiative checks. The drinker of a cup of coffee of cosmic awesomeness may make two extra attacks whenever he makes a full attack. Discharging the effects of coffee of cosmic awesomeness allows the drinker to accelerate to the point where time seems to slow down, as the spell time stop, for 1 round. Coffee of cosmic awesomeness makes its drinker immune to fatigue and exhaustion, and they do not need to sleep for a week, even if they drink it after it has cooled.
Common Courtesy
Abjuration
Level: Nerd 5, Sor/Wiz 5, Wu Jen 5
Components: V, S
Casting Time: 1 minute
Range: Personal
Target: You
Duration: 1 minute/level or until discharged
Not everyone at Sigil Prep is a mannerless slob. Some are very, very insistent on enforcing common courtesy. While under the effects of this spell, any character within 10 ft./level of you that casts a spell must first ask your permission to cast it. When a caster comes within range of you, he receives a mental ping alerting him to this. If he fails to, you may immediately make an opposed caster level check with him. If you succeed, then that spell is countered. If a character asks permission, and you deny it, you may also make an opposed caster level check to counter the spell, but doing so discharges common courtesy.
Cone of Cannabis
Conjuration (Creation)
Level: Drd 4, Drug 4
Components: V, S
Casting Time: 1 standard action
Range: 60 ft.
Area: Cone-shaped burst
Duration: Instantaneous, then 1 round/level
Saving Throw: Fortitude negates
Spell Resistance: No
Woah, man. It’s all about the cosmic energy, y’know? I mean, the cone of cannabis spell, it like, sends out a big cone of smoke, the kind you get from burning those little weeds, man. Anyway, all creatures in the cone that fail their save, like, totally mellow out, as the calm emotions spell. Yeah, they also get more in touch with nature, y’know, and take 1d10 points of Intelligence and Wisdom damage.
Cram Session
Conjuration and Divination (Creation)
Level: Sor/Wiz 1
Components: V, S
Casting Time: 1 standard action
Range: 0 ft.
Effect: Summoned notes.
Duration: Instantaneous
Who needs to study, when you can just whip up a magical cram session? When you cast this spell, you must choose a specific topic (for example, not dragons, or even red dragons–but “that dragon over there” would be a valid topic). The cram session spell summons notes relating to that topic. By looking over them, you gain a +10 competence bonus on any Knowledge checks made about that specific topic. In addition, you can make untrained Knowledge checks about that topic, although the bonus to the check is halved if you do so. The bonus increases to +20 at 5th level, and to +30 at 9th level. Note that using the cram session spell during a test is cheating, and most professors are rather quick to “dispose of” anyone they catch using it.
Days of Our One Life to Live
Transmutation
Level: Brd 4
Components: V, S
Casting Time: 1 standard action
Range: Close (25 ft. + 5 ft./2 levels)
Target: One creature
Duration: 24 hours
Saving Throw: Will negates
Spell Resistance: Yes
No one wants to even think about this spell. With it, you can turn some poor fool’s life into a living soap opera for 24 hours (funnily enough, no one at Sigil Prep, not even the Bard who came up with this spell, knows what a “soap opera” is. One of the professors said something about “interplanar memetic transference through dimensional breeches in the fourth wall,” and that sounds about right). Events in the target’s life just become generally more dramatic, and things like identical twins, amnesia, torrid love affairs, comas, and so on become far, far more common. The DM has free reign over the exact effects of this spell, and is advised to make the target’s life just as miserable as any other soap.
Dimension Strip
Conjuration (Teleportation)
Level: Brd 2, Party 2, Sor/Wiz 2, Wu Jen 2
Components: V
Casting Time: 1 standard action
Range: Close (25 ft. + 5 ft./2 levels)
Target: One creature
Duration: Instantaneous
Saving Throw: Will negates
Spell Resistance: Yes
Of all the teleportation spells in the multiverse, dimension strip is the single most used one on Sigil Prep’s campus. If the target fails its save, then all of its clothing, armor, and items are teleported 10 ft. away from them in a randomly chosen direction, leaving them rather naked. It’s always advisable to cast protection from women before using this spell.
Filthy Hippy Hair
Transmutation
Level: Drd 4
Components: V, S, DF
Casting Time: 1 standard action
Range: Personal
Target: You
Duration: 1 round/level
Filthy hippies and their filthy long hair...it wouldn’t be such a problem if it weren’t for this spell. When you cast filthy hippy hair, your hair extends and animates, becoming a filthy mass of hair-tentacles that are enough to stock a Japanese schoolgirl’s nightmares for weeks. You gain one tentacle attack/3 levels, max 4 tentacles. The tentacle attacks deal 1d4 damage if you are of Medium size, 1d3 damage if you are of Small size, and so on. Each tentacle’s reach is equal to your natural reach plus 5 ft. In addition, whenever you hit a foe of your own size or smaller with a tentacle attack, you can attempt to start a grapple as a free action without provoking an attack of opportunity. If you win the grapple check, you establish a hold. You cannot cast this spell if you have no hair.
Free Lunch
Conjuration (Creation)
Level: Brd 0, Shu 0 (Earth), Sor/Wiz 0, Wu Jen 0 (Metal)
Components: V, S
Casting Time: 1 minute
Range: 0 ft.
Effect: Created coins
Duration: Instantaneous
Sometimes, making ends meet is hard when you’re a student. This spell will help you scrape by. Upon the completion of this spell, three copper pieces appear in your hand. They are completely normal, except for a aura of faint conjuration. The merest mention of this spell has been known to drive Economics majors into a blind rage; please don’t taunt them.
Gaydar
Divination
Level: Brd 0, Clr 0, Drd 0, Shu 0 (Air), Sor/Wiz 0, Wu Jen 0
Components: V, S
Casting Time: 1 standard action
Range: 60 ft.
Area: Cone-shaped emanation
Duration: Concentration, up to 1 minute/level (D)
Saving Throw: None
Spell Resistance: No
Few realize how useful this spell is to a successful love life at Sigil Prep. By studying creatures within the area of the gaydar spell, you can determine details about the creature’s sexual orientation and tendencies. The amount of detail revealed depends on how long you study each creature:
1st round
Determine the sexual orientation of each creature within the area of this spell as either asexual, bisexual, heterosexual, homosexual, or pansexual. Note that this spell reveals what the subject believes his orientation to be, rather than the actual orientation–for example, a gay man who has not yet come to terms with his homosexuality would register as being straight.
2nd round
General nature of each creature’s sexual kinks and fetishes.
3rd round
Specifics of each creature’s sexual kinks and fetishes.
Grasp of Algebra
Evocation [Math]
Level: Dusk 1, Sor/Wiz 1
Components: V, S
Casting Time: 1 standard action
Range: Touch
Target: Creature touched
Duration: Instantaneous
Saving Throw: None
Spell Resistance: Yes
Hard to take seriously as it is, having a basic grasp of algebra can pack a wallop. As you cast this spell, you must make a touch attack against your target. If your attack is successful, the target takes 1d4+X math damage, where X is the square of your caster level, max 1d4+25.
Hoard Eye
Divination (Scrying)
Level: Brd 1, Sor/Wiz 2
Components: V, S, M, F
Casting Time: 10 minutes
Range: 150 ft./level
Duration: 1 hour/level
This neat spell is always useful if you’re worried about someone pinching your stuff. It turns a single coin into a magical sensor, that you can see through as if it were one of your own eyes. You can see everything within 30 ft. of the coin, as the scrying spell, although you can only look in one direction at a time. You can switch between your own perspective and that of the coin as a swift action. You can only see through the coin if it is within range of the spell.
Material Components
A paste made from rare truffles mixed with gold dust, worth 25 gp.
Focus
A coin made of any kind of metal.
Insistent Reminder
Transmutation
Level: Sorc/Wiz 0
Components: V, S, F
Casting Time: 1 minute
Range: Touch
Target: Paper touched
Duration: Permanent
Saving Throw: None
Spell Resistance: No
When you go to Sigil Prep, it helps to have somewhere where you can write everything down. Between homework, dating, partying, and slaying the unearthly abominations that crashed your kegger, it gets hard remembering everything. The insistent reminder spell makes sure you don’t forget. This spell inscribes a single reminder, no longer than 2 words/level, on a sheet of paper. Whenever the information stored in the reminder becomes critical for you to recall, the reminder levitates in front of your face, as long as it remains in your possession.
Instant Pitfall
Transmutation
Level: Shu 2 (Earth), Sor/Wiz 2, Wu Jen 2 (Earth)
Components: V, S
Casting Time: 1 standard action
Range: Close (25 ft. + 5 ft./2 levels)
Target: One 5 ft. square
Duration: Instantaneous
Saving Throw: Reflex negates (see text)
Spell Resistance: No
A classic in Prank Wars, the instant pitfall spell disintegrates a section of the floor or ground beneath your feet, creating a pitfall within one 5 ft. square. Floors made up of most substances–wood, stone, dirt, even iron–can be disintegrated, though floors made up of tougher or rarer substances, such as adamantine, cannot be affected.
The pitfall is up to 10 ft./level deep, max 50 ft.; however, it is never so deep as to go straight through the floor without having a bottom. Any Medium or smaller creature standing in the square when you cast the spell may attempt a Reflex save to move into any adjacent square. If he fails the save, he instead falls into the pitfall, taking falling damage as normal. Any Medium or smaller creature that moves into the square must also save or fall.
A fallen creature can climb out with a DC 15 Climb check. Large and larger creatures are not affected by the pitfall. Note that using this spell indoors does tend to anger whoever might own the building you’re casting it in.
Leomund's Well-Stocked Alehouse
Level: Bard 1, Sorcerer/Wizard 2
Components: V, S, M
Despite all the magical achievements of the great mage Leomund, none is remembered better by the students of Sigil Prep than this spell, created during Leomund’s wild years at Sigil Prep.It functions as Leomund's secure shelter, except as above and that the building created is neither protected by arcane lock nor alarm, and is not staffed by unseen servants. It is, however, stocked with five kegs of ale. The ale reverts to lukewarm water if removed from the instant alehouse.
Material Component:
A mug full of ale. The ale created by the spell is of the some kind the mug is filled with.
Light My Fire
Evocation (Fire)
Level: Bard 0, Shu 0 (Fire), Sorcerer/Wizard 0, Wu Jen 0 (Fire)
Components: S
Casting Time: 1 swift action
Range: Touch
Target: Cigar, pipe, or similar item touched
Duration: Instantaneous
Saving Throw: None
Spell Resistance: No
With just a snap of your fingers, you can set yourself on the way to lung-cancer inducing goodness. This spell immediately lights a single cigar, pipe, or similar smokeable item. The heat it produces is not enough to deal any damage.
Magic Circle against Men
Abjuration
Level: Clr 3, Pal 3, Sor/Wiz 3, Wu Jen 3
Components: V, S, DF, Gender
Sometimes guys just can’t take a hint. That’s why this doozy was invented. This spell functions like magic circle against evil, except that it provides defenses similar to protection from men, and it can imprison a male called creature. (To determine the gender of a called creature, roll 1d2–1 is male, 2 is female, unless the creature is specifically always a member of one gender or another.)
Gender Component:
You must be female to cast this spell.
Magic Circle against Women
Abjuration
Level: Clr 3, Pal 3, Sor/Wiz 3, Wu Jen 3
Components: V, S, DF, Gender
Sometimes guys just can’t take a hint. That’s why this doozy was invented. This spell functions like magic circle against evil, except that it provides defenses similar to protection from women, and it can imprison a female called creature. (To determine the gender of a called creature, roll 1d2–1 is male, 2 is female, unless the creature is specifically always a member of one gender or another.)
Gender Component:
You must be male to cast this spell.