PDA

View Full Version : needed: silly/funny critical fumbles, please help.



lynx502
2017-02-28, 12:21 PM
longer, possibly unnecessary explanation below.

I need silly and/or funny critical fumble chart for an upcoming campaign. It does not need to make sense, (i.e. drop weapon), just be funny. 4 examples.

1. turn purple for duration of combat.
2. a woman appears, slaps you in the face, and then disappears again.
3. you are suddenly covered by a swarm of ants.
4. a donkey appears and kicks you, moving you 1d6 squares in a random direction. It then wanders around the area.

Thank you for your help.

Longer Explanation.....

I have been playing with the same core group for 10 years. We have always used critical failures. It has always been a different chart as we grew and as the DM has changed. My last campaign, I actually changed the chart about half-way through a year long campaign.

This time I want to do something totally new and a funny critical list seemed the way to go. I have a few ideas, but I thought more people would come up with innovative ideas.

Any questions, please ask, I will try to answer them. Thank you.
Lynx

Digitalfruitz
2017-02-28, 01:39 PM
Here's some that I've used

1-> you fire your bow at the enemy but the arrow ricochets off of his shield, comes back to you and cuts your bowstring

2-> your crossbow jams, your entire suit of armor is now sticky due to all of the strawberries flying from the weapon

3-> your javelin flies into the air and skewers a completely random bird flying overhead, causing it to plummet downwards and think you in the head for 1d6

4-> when the wizard casts fireball instead of trying to duck out of the way you are convinced that the wizard is an illusionist.

5-> when you try to intimidate the 80 year old man you mix the phrases, "you suck" and "I hate you".

lynx502
2017-02-28, 02:00 PM
I love these, thank you.






2-> your crossbow jams, your entire suit of armor is now sticky due to all of the strawberries flying from the weapon

especially this one.

lynx

jqavins
2017-03-02, 11:51 AM
Your melee weapon is transformed into a banana for one full round.

You step on the upturned tines of a rake and get whacked in the face by the handle for 1d4. (Optionally, your hair looks just like Sideshow Bob's for the remainder of the encounter.)

The weapon slips from your hand and falls the ground. Not funny? Did I mention that it slips because of the load of poop from the bird that appeared above you just long enough to drop it on your hand then disappeared?

You let go with the wrong hand when loosing an arrow, and the bow smacks you in the face. (A pattern? Well, maybe, but face smacks are funny.)


4-> when the wizard casts fireball instead of trying to duck out of the way you are convinced that the wizard is an illusionist.
I did this once, except it was a dragon's breath weapon and I did it on purpose. I really was convinced that the dragon was an illusion, so I struck a defiant, disbelieving pose, and died.

lynx502
2017-03-02, 12:13 PM
these are good. Thank you. I'll will be adding them to my list.

lynx.

ShiningStarling
2017-03-04, 06:11 PM
You realize the clash of metal on the battlefield is the rhythm to your favorite song, and suffer the effects of Otto's irresistible dance for 1 round.

Your vigorous flailing cuts and bashrs struck the ground in such a way as to accidentally duplicate a random Symbol spell that affects only you.

Your grip shifts oddly in your hand and you think your weapon is a snake, dropping it and moving your move in a random direction.

Your leather grip squeaks against your glove and you think it is a piglet, immediately cuddling it, provoking Attacks of opportunity

sengmeng
2017-03-04, 06:57 PM
This thread (http://www.giantitp.com/forums/showthread.php?491805-The-quot-Rolled-a-1-quot-Game) should help get creative juices flowing

jqavins
2017-03-04, 09:21 PM
The sky opens, unleashing a torrential rain, only on you.

A marching band crosses the field of battle causing the you to stare in stunned disbelief for one full round. You should be particularly amazed that the band does not interfere with anyone else's actions, but that is a matter of roleplaying. A trombone slide, a drum mallet, or a twirler's batton manages to hit you in the face.

(I'll keep working on more.)

lynx502
2017-03-05, 12:35 PM
I can just see the tank of the group dancing or cuddling a small squealing pig.

And the ratfolk getting rained on. :smallbiggrin:

As for the thread... we don't use crit fumble on skills, only saves and attack, but a quick look did give me some ideas to use.

thank you,

Lynx

jqavins
2017-03-05, 03:12 PM
Oh ho! save "fumbles" too, you say? Well, that's a whole new ballgame.

You, um... You're making a Will save, or maybe it's Fortitude... No, wait.

I've got nuthin' (Critical fail on my Make Gaming Joke skill check.)

Kaskus
2017-03-05, 06:52 PM
You miss your target completely and instead strike a tree/bush, etc. Your weapon becomes stuck/tangled for 1 round while you extricate it.

To help manage your frustration after such a terrible failure, you must recite the positive affirmation your therapist gave you. It would be great if the player then had to stand up and say some sort of positive affirmation. ("I'm good enough, I'm smart enough, and doggone it, people like me!")

Your weapon becomes flaccid and ineffective for 1 round.

A joke you heard a long time ago pops into your head and you cant stop laughing until you tell it to someone else.

You are now "it" and must tag someone else. You may only make unarmed strikes until you successfully hit someone else to make them "it"

jqavins
2017-03-05, 08:34 PM
A joke you heard a long time ago pops into your head and you cant stop laughing until you tell it to someone else.
If someone else has told you a joke under this rule in the last 24 hours (or whatever period represents a full day in your setting) then it is that joke you laugh at instead of one from your past.

You are momentarily paralyzed and your body is gradually, over the course of a few seconds, enveloped in and then replaced by a swirling, twinkling sillouette of yourself, then fades away. After a full round delay, the process is reversed as the swirling twinkles reappear and then form back into you. You have been moved 10 feet in a random direction and appear with random facing.

You are inexplicably compelled to walk about the field of battle in a silly and spastic manner. A suited man with a british accent appears and cites you for your silly walk which does not have the propper ministry approval.

You are swallowed by a python. The python is then stomped on by a gigantic foot from out of the sky, causing you to be regurgitated; the python and foot disappear. (This shoulkd be used only after the Python references have already become unusually thick for a session with your group.)

lynx502
2017-03-06, 09:06 AM
I work nights, and it's early morning here. I just got off work. These are just what I needed after last night. Laughing so hard, afraid I'm going to wake up my spouse.

Thanks,

Lynx.:smallbiggrin: