Witty one-liners for Barbarian Piercing Damage

[Diebo]

I'm reaching out to you for help creating a list of witty one-liners for a barbarian (inspired of course by Ahnold). I'm thinking after killing an opponent, or a critical hit (or a big miss), it might be fun to occasionally throw in some commentary. More background:

Bear totem, using a four-pointed piercing morningstar. He has named each of the spikes, and attached a totem effigy to the base of each of the respective points.
For frontal attacks below the belt, he uses Serpent Strike, a spike with a snake tooth, to strike like a serpent from the ground.
For attacks above the belt but below the head, uses Bear Bite, represented by a bear tooth.
For head attacks, he uses Raptor Rake, represented by an eagle’s claw.
And for attacks from the back, he uses Cat Chomp, represented by a mountain lion’s tooth.
He is superstitious and believes it is bad luck to use the wrong spike for the wrong attack. If one attack isn’t succeeding, he might give the weapon a twist and try a different tactic.

I'm thinking something like (spoken in broken common with a slight German accent):

A hole in one
That hit the spot

Anyway, I hope to compile a list and have it at the ready to pull out as needed. Thanks in advance, have fun with it!

[jaappleton]

Looks like you're a bit... snake bitten.

I really let the cat out of the bag. And into your skull.

I can bear-ly believe how easy this is.

[GhorrinRedblade]

Something something long in the tooth.
Fangs for a good time.
Do you get my point?
He got the tooth, the whole tooth, and nothing but the tooth.

At some point after you drop a foe you must shout, "SEE YOU AT THA PAAH-TEE, RICHTER!" Regardless of whether it makes sense in context.

Aaaaand now I've got that line stuck in my head. I brought this on myself.

[hymer]

I'm not sure about 'witty', but...


https://youtu.be/EXjfvx-k1Ms

[Diebo]

These are great, thanks! And if it helps inspire you, he is a halfling shield-master.

[pwykersotz]

I did always love Jafar's "Get the point?" line.

Fangs (thanks) for the fight.
You're looking sharp!

That's all I've got right now. That's disappointing. My pun abilities are usually sharper. :smalltongue:

[Deleted]

Wait...

I think you should do really really really bad ones.

Like...

*stabs enemy*, sorry to cut you off!

*stabs enemy*, Isn't today just smashing?

[Fishyninja]

"I hate to Cut and Run"
"I tire of these cutting remarks"
"Still-lett-o me make-a some points" (Better for a knife I know"
"Sorry to have holed you up"

[JackOfAllBuilds]

Shank you very much :biggrin:

[Lord Haart]

Your momma will love the piercing.

How are you like a sinking ship? *attack* You're sort of leaking.

[Honest Tiefling]

Grin and bear it.
Something something something trouser snake, if you're group is into that and you're fighting male opponents.
Feline that? (as in, pronounce feline to sound like 'feeling')

[Fishyninja]

How are you like a sinking ship? *attack* You're sort of leaking.
*SQUEALS WITH DELIGHT*

Mind if I use this?

[Dragolord]

For the discerning barbarian-about-town, I can heartily recommend the classic "RAAARRGGHHH!"

[Steampunkette]

"Your father didn't scream that loudly when I stuck him, last night."


Less witty/cruel and more Noble Warrior:

For a multi attack chain: "The Bear Wakes." *strike* "The Eagle Sees" *strike* "The Tiger Pounces!" *strike*

"Look to your ancestors, you will meet them, soon."


Because Halfling:

"I would call you ugly, but I can't see your face for your gut!"

"You don't Kneed that leg, do you?" Then smack the sharp bit down behind the kneecap.

[Beechgnome]

'The tooth hurts, yes?'
After a below the belt attack from behind: 'This is where you end!'
'What the matter? Cat got your lung?'
'Do you know what time it is?' [Attack] 'Tooth hurty!'

[sir_argo]

I have a friend who's famed catch-line from computer death match was, "Haha! I saw your spine!"

That seems like something this barbarian would say.

Similar non-pun lines might be...

"You did not just spray your blood on me! Did he just spray his blood on me?" -- enters Rage.

Upon being hit, "Eh, not bad. Now it's my turn."

"Would you like to play a game? I call it, is there a god?" (taken from Adam's Family)

[GlenSmash!]

One liners for Piercing Damage

"Get the Point"

"Nailed it"

"You *Picked* the wrong guy to mess with" -might only work with a War Pick

[gfishfunk]

Its HAMMER TIME! /uses-sword-to-attack

Fits like a GLAIVE! /uses-sword-to-attack

Feel my RAPIER wit! /uses-sword-to-attack

Want to go CLUBBING!? /uses-sword-to-attack

They key feature is that the guy doesn't really know the difference between weapons.

[djreynolds]

I'm not sure about 'witty', but...


https://youtu.be/EXjfvx-k1Ms

I was wondering who would say this. Awesome.