View Full Version : [Layer]Mall of Avernus

2007-07-25, 11:55 AM
"Come to Mall of Avernus! Browse the latest music and movies at FYD. Explore fashion at Abercrombie and Dis. Top it all off with a meal at the River Styx Cafe. Mall of Avernus, once you come, you'll never want to leave."

-Marketing brochure.

"Don't drink the water."

-Foldor's Guide to Hell

2007-07-25, 11:56 AM
Reserved for Martastu'rt queen of the Marketing Devils.

2007-07-25, 11:57 AM
Reserved for the Mallwalkers.

2007-07-25, 12:00 PM
For the record there actually is an establishment near here named the "River Styx Cafe" (on River Styx road, no less.)

2007-07-26, 02:44 PM

Like most lawful evil planes, the Mall of Avernus has a brutal pecking order. Devils are assigned form and status based not on their service, however, as in other layers. The pecking order is instead based on a devil's ability to utilize the services of the mall to achieve heights of fashion, while avoiding dangerous faux pas, such as dressing the same as any other devil, or dressing in yesterday's fashion.

Those who achieve pit fiend status are able to do so not only by powerful command of the rules of fashion, but the ability to subjugate those below them. One such pit fiend is Kirgagthanothella. She has been quoted numerous times as saying "Like, Oh My Asmodeus! Check out the spiked breastplate *she* is wearing. She's, like, only a bearded devil! She doesn't have the claws to pull *that* off. You need at *least*, like, 2d8 claws to wear that. And with that wand! She doesn't even have ranks in use magical device! She's, like, asking to have her body looted by adventurers. Why doesn't she just go hang out with the lemures! Loser!"

I couldn't resist. If hell were a mall, that's what I'd see it as.